Re: Update on Aggression at Camp issue

[Guest guest]

Miriam...another thought...you said your son is 13...mine is 14. I just remembered (duh ..how could I have forgotten)...your son is growing...hormones are starting....and he is changing into a man...and this aggression could be the result of it...my son was very very moody and angry.

Jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: mimasdprofile <callis4773@...> Sent: Tue, July 13, 2010 2:13:06 PMSubject: ( ) Update on Aggression at Camp issue

had a much better day today. In fact, he had a perfect day. The para used to be able to physically direct away from situations that looked like they might go bad last year and is having to learn different ways this year. That's probably a huge part of it. The para will need to be a helicopter para. Fortunately, the natural consequence of NOT hovering is that has a meltdown which everyone wants to avoid. Tomorrow will be a good day because most of the campers go on field trips except for the kids whose slots were paid for by the school district. will probably stay in the pool pretty much all day with his para and nobody else will be around. So that should be an easy day. Everyone seems to be working hard with so I'm sure we'll get all the glitches figured out by the end.There's a good reason why I continue to be a helicopter mom.Miriam

[Guest guest]

Yes, even mentioned this. He had a great day today so I feel better. I do

think his para is going to have to stand nearer to prevent issues. Today

was in the middle of a crowd by himself at one point because the para came over

to me and I thought, " Okay, we're just ASKING for trouble. " But it turned out

to be okay because he was with a friend, a boy he has known for almost 3 years.

They both see the speech therapist and they both have social skill issues but

they work very well together. Anyway, I am going to mention again that it

probably isn't wise to get outside of hearing distance with because things

can go bad very quickly.

My neighbor keeps suggesting social skills groups but the problem with this is

that it isn't real world. It's a bunch of kids who all have the same issues and

who get to know each other. needs to be able to deal with new and

different people all the time without completely freaking out if things don't go

exactly as he hopes. Lots of social coaching in real world situations like camp

would help. I wonder if the para has done this with him. If I'd been there I'd

have said, " you can share the table with them. Maybe they'll let you play

a game with them. " Instead of just trying to whisk away. I usually try to

make a suggestion that will make happy as well as the other people involved

and then gets the hang of negotiation. Instead what happened is that

totally flipped and now everyone is letting him have the table of his choice.

Way to reinforce unwanted behavior. So I will talk to the sped guy again

tomorrow.

Miriam

>

> Miriam...another thought...you said your son is 13...mine is 14.  I just

> remembered (duh ..how could I have forgotten)...your son is growing...hormones

> are starting....and he is changing into a man...and this aggression could be

the

> result of it...my son was very very moody and angry.

>

> Jan

>  

> " In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity "     Albert Einstein

>  

> Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has

overcome

> to obtain that position

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

> From: mimasdprofile <callis4773@...>

>

> Sent: Tue, July 13, 2010 2:13:06 PM

> Subject: ( ) Update on Aggression at Camp issue

>

>  

> had a much better day today. In fact, he had a perfect day. The para used

> to be able to physically direct away from situations that looked like

they

> might go bad last year and is having to learn different ways this year. That's

> probably a huge part of it. The para will need to be a helicopter para.

> Fortunately, the natural consequence of NOT hovering is that has a

meltdown

> which everyone wants to avoid. Tomorrow will be a good day because most of the

> campers go on field trips except for the kids whose slots were paid for by the

> school district. will probably stay in the pool pretty much all day with

> his para and nobody else will be around. So that should be an easy day.

Everyone

> seems to be working hard with so I'm sure we'll get all the glitches

> figured out by the end.

>

> There's a good reason why I continue to be a helicopter mom.

>

> Miriam

>

[Guest guest]

did you managed to figure out what set him off? Misunderstanding? Different

food? Nothing really, except possible hormone changes? I'm apprehensive about

my son becoming a teen - some years away yet.

Miranda

>

> had a much better day today. In fact, he had a perfect day. The para

used to be able to physically direct away from situations that looked like

they might go bad last year and is having to learn different ways this year.

That's probably a huge part of it. The para will need to be a helicopter para.

Fortunately, the natural consequence of NOT hovering is that has a meltdown

which everyone wants to avoid. Tomorrow will be a good day because most of the

campers go on field trips except for the kids whose slots were paid for by the

school district. will probably stay in the pool pretty much all day with

his para and nobody else will be around. So that should be an easy day.

Everyone seems to be working hard with so I'm sure we'll get all the

glitches figured out by the end.

>

> There's a good reason why I continue to be a helicopter mom.

>

> Miriam

>

[Guest guest]

had it in his head that he wanted to sit at the same table where he always

sits in the " games cabin " . He sat down and " called dibs " on it. Then 3 other

boys said, " We called dibs on it, too. " Now maybe this wouldn't have bothered

so much but his reason for wanting this table is that it is as far from the

window as possible which means it's away from the sun AND the bugs. The cabins

are open so there isn't any glass in the windows. It's just open areas to let

in light. Obviously this does not keep out bugs. is super phobic about

bugs. I bought a clip on thing with bug repellant pads and a battery

operated fan so I guess a certain area is permeated with bug repellant. You

can't smell it or anything. It's not anything obvious and is a lot less

annoying than putting ON bug repellant. It seems to work or at least calms

's fears.

Today had an issue at the camp pool. He and his friend Jake were play

fighting over these weights kids play with in the pool. The lifeguard didn't

like this and took the weight away. started to get upset but the para told

he had something he wanted to show him in one of the cabins. Then he gave

the simpsons comic book I bought at a used bookstore yesterday. This

distracted so that by the time he got to see the comic book he was ready to

get back in the pool. He was very excited about the book but said he wanted to

go back to the pool. He went back to the pool and had a fabulous time and I

picked him up at 1:30 because he said that he wanted to be picked up then. I

have quite a bag of tricks up my sleeve for helping to keep calm. I'm

hoping eventually will get the hang of distracting himself. We're working

on it.

Miriam

> >

> > had a much better day today. In fact, he had a perfect day. The para

used to be able to physically direct away from situations that looked like

they might go bad last year and is having to learn different ways this year.

That's probably a huge part of it. The para will need to be a helicopter para.

Fortunately, the natural consequence of NOT hovering is that has a meltdown

which everyone wants to avoid. Tomorrow will be a good day because most of the

campers go on field trips except for the kids whose slots were paid for by the

school district. will probably stay in the pool pretty much all day with

his para and nobody else will be around. So that should be an easy day.

Everyone seems to be working hard with so I'm sure we'll get all the

glitches figured out by the end.

> >

> > There's a good reason why I continue to be a helicopter mom.

> >

> > Miriam

> >

>

[Guest guest]

hoping for the best! Keeping my fingers crossed. hugs jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: mimasdprofile <callis4773@...> Sent: Wed, July 14, 2010 4:58:31 PMSubject: ( ) Re: Update on Aggression at Camp issue

had it in his head that he wanted to sit at the same table where he always sits in the "games cabin". He sat down and "called dibs" on it. Then 3 other boys said, "We called dibs on it, too." Now maybe this wouldn't have bothered so much but his reason for wanting this table is that it is as far from the window as possible which means it's away from the sun AND the bugs. The cabins are open so there isn't any glass in the windows. It's just open areas to let in light. Obviously this does not keep out bugs. is super phobic about bugs. I bought a clip on thing with bug repellant pads and a battery operated fan so I guess a certain area is permeated with bug repellant. You can't smell it or anything. It's not anything obvious and is a lot less annoying than putting ON bug repellant. It seems to work or at least calms 's fears.Today had an issue at the camp pool. He and his friend Jake were play fighting over these

weights kids play with in the pool. The lifeguard didn't like this and took the weight away. started to get upset but the para told he had something he wanted to show him in one of the cabins. Then he gave the simpsons comic book I bought at a used bookstore yesterday. This distracted so that by the time he got to see the comic book he was ready to get back in the pool. He was very excited about the book but said he wanted to go back to the pool. He went back to the pool and had a fabulous time and I picked him up at 1:30 because he said that he wanted to be picked up then. I have quite a bag of tricks up my sleeve for helping to keep calm. I'm hoping eventually will get the hang of distracting himself. We're working on it.Miriam> >> > had a much better day today. In fact, he had a perfect day. The para used to be able to physically direct away from situations that looked like they might go bad last year and is having to learn different ways this year. That's probably a huge part of it. The para will need to be a helicopter para. Fortunately, the natural consequence of NOT hovering is that has a meltdown which everyone wants to

avoid. Tomorrow will be a good day because most of the campers go on field trips except for the kids whose slots were paid for by the school district. will probably stay in the pool pretty much all day with his para and nobody else will be around. So that should be an easy day. Everyone seems to be working hard with so I'm sure we'll get all the glitches figured out by the end.> > > > There's a good reason why I continue to be a helicopter mom.> > > > Miriam> >>

[Guest guest]

Thanks. I love the Einstein quote, too. 's presence in my life has offered

many opportunities to grow and learn and find joy even in the midst of a lot of

pain. I sometimes feel a bit sorry for people who go through life without

learning the things I've learned. I can generalize what I've learned to other

situations. My life is very rich. Sometimes it's a bit too full and it's

overwhelming but it is NEVER boring.

> > >

> > > had a much better day today. In fact, he had a perfect day. The para

> >used to be able to physically direct away from situations that looked

like

> >they might go bad last year and is having to learn different ways this year.

> >That's probably a huge part of it. The para will need to be a helicopter

para.

> >Fortunately, the natural consequence of NOT hovering is that has a

meltdown

> >which everyone wants to avoid. Tomorrow will be a good day because most of

the

> >campers go on field trips except for the kids whose slots were paid for by

the

> >school district. will probably stay in the pool pretty much all day with

> >his para and nobody else will be around. So that should be an easy day.

Everyone

> >seems to be working hard with so I'm sure we'll get all the glitches

> >figured out by the end.

> > >

> > > There's a good reason why I continue to be a helicopter mom.

> > >

> > > Miriam

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

It sounds like he is of the rigid variety and has difficulty making

transitions/changing gears, which contributes to him being easily frustrated and

makes him anxious and hard for him to cope with change. Am I right?

This is what my young son is like, and one of the major reasons he has meltdowns

(which lately are improving to some swearing and defiance lasting 5 mins if

ignored rather than screaming and bashing holes in walls for an hour).

Miranda

> > >

> > > had a much better day today. In fact, he had a perfect day. The

para used to be able to physically direct away from situations that looked

like they might go bad last year and is having to learn different ways this

year. That's probably a huge part of it. The para will need to be a helicopter

para. Fortunately, the natural consequence of NOT hovering is that has a

meltdown which everyone wants to avoid. Tomorrow will be a good day because

most of the campers go on field trips except for the kids whose slots were paid

for by the school district. will probably stay in the pool pretty much all

day with his para and nobody else will be around. So that should be an easy

day. Everyone seems to be working hard with so I'm sure we'll get all the

glitches figured out by the end.

> > >

> > > There's a good reason why I continue to be a helicopter mom.

> > >

> > > Miriam

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

had a great day even though it was a terrible, horrible, no-good very bad day. LOL. Many things went wrong that upset but he held it together and was able to tell his para "I am THIS close to losing it" (I guess there must have been a gesture with that) rather than actually losing it. His para said, "Maybe it's time for you to read your Simpson's comic book" and that's what did. 's day started badly when the bus came early, then a kid kicked his seat all the way to camp, then he found out he forgot his swim goggles, then he found out his best friend, Jake, was not there yesterday. Add to these things the fact that didn't sleep well last night and yesterday was a stressful day for all of us. Well, I was super impressed. I took right to Mcs after camp. I had told him if he could

have good days on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday that I'd take him to Mcs. Miriam Mim Mimmom mimbanash@...

[Guest guest]

! He is acknowledging his fustration...he is able to tell his para and was guided to do something else...Wow! BRAVO ...that is a BIG step! He is coming along and maturing and he handle a rotten day well!

Jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: Miriam Banash <callis4773@...> Sent: Fri, July 16, 2010 12:50:05 AMSubject: ( ) re: update on Aggression at Camp issue

had a great day even though it was a terrible, horrible, no-good very bad day. LOL. Many things went wrong that upset but he held it together and was able to tell his para "I am THIS close to losing it" (I guess there must have been a gesture with that) rather than actually losing it. His para said, "Maybe it's time for you to read your Simpson's comic book" and that's what did. 's day started badly when the bus came early, then a kid kicked his seat all the way to camp, then he found out he forgot his swim goggles, then he found out his best friend, Jake, was not there yesterday. Add to these things the fact that didn't sleep well last night and yesterday was a stressful day for all of us. Well, I was super impressed. I took right to Mcs after camp. I had told him if he could have good days on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday that I'd take him to

Mcs.

Miriam Mim Mimmom

mimbanash (DOT) com

[Guest guest]

Some days he can and some he can't. I think being on a lower dose of lexapro

for a couple of weeks made him more likely to lash out and less able to let go

of things. Maybe by Monday the higher dose will be affecting him enough to make

a difference.

>

> ! He is acknowledging his fustration...he is able to tell his para and

was

> guided to do something else...Wow! BRAVO ...that is a BIG step! He is

coming

> along and maturing and he handle a rotten day well!

>

> Jan

>  

> " In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity "     Albert Einstein

>  

> Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has

overcome

> to obtain that position

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

> From: Miriam Banash <callis4773@...>

>

> Sent: Fri, July 16, 2010 12:50:05 AM

> Subject: ( ) re: update on Aggression at Camp issue

>

>  

> had a great day even though it was a terrible, horrible, no-good very bad

> day.  LOL.  Many things went wrong that upset but he held it together

and

> was able to tell his para " I am THIS close to losing it " (I guess there must

> have been a gesture with that) rather than actually losing it.  His para

said,

> " Maybe it's time for you to read your Simpson's comic book " and that's what

> did.  's day started badly when the bus came early, then a kid kicked his

> seat all the way to camp, then he found out he forgot his swim goggles, then

he

> found out his best friend, Jake, was not there yesterday.  Add to these

things

> the fact that didn't sleep well last night and yesterday was a stressful

> day for all of us.  Well, I was super impressed.  I took right to

Mcs

> after camp.  I had told him if he could have good days on Tuesday, Wednesday

and

> Thursday that I'd take him to Mcs. 

>

>

>

> Miriam

> Mim

> Mimmom

> mimbanash (DOT) com

>  

>

[Guest guest]

A good day or a bad day should not be left to chance or hope. A good functional behavior analysis would go a long way (all the way) to dealing with these problems head on. First, it will identify why he having problems and what is setting him off. It also should identify what he looks like right before he starts losing control so that it can be ID'd immediately and action taken before he falls apart. And finally, it will outline ways to manage, change or get out of the situations that are causing him problems. Not only is this good for the other peers and the teachers and aides, but with this in place, you can start to teach him his own coping skills and to start recognizing his own problem areas. As he is 13 now, I think you said, it would be important to get started sooner rather than later. The school should be responsible for bringing in a qualified behavioral expert to do the FBA. Do not wait until next time. Get it started now and when next time comes, you will have a plan of action and be proactive instead of reactive. It is negligent of the school to put him in to a program without the appropriate supports in place. His para should NOT become a helicopter para unless you wish to be dealing with his lashing out as an adult. Ideally, she/he should be trained after the FBA is done and be able to recognize and apply the appropriate behavior plan as necessary, fading her help as he improves and helping him to learn how to recognize and help himself as he needs it. But definitely do not allow this to continue as is and allow someone to take over his behavior for him. I mean, this solves nothing. And once he is an adult, he will have learned nothing.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) Update on Aggression at Camp issue

had a much better day today. In fact, he had a perfect day. The para used to be able to physically direct away from situations that looked like they might go bad last year and is having to learn different ways this year. That's probably a huge part of it. The para will need to be a helicopter para. Fortunately, the natural consequence of NOT hovering is that has a meltdown which everyone wants to avoid. Tomorrow will be a good day because most of the campers go on field trips except for the kids whose slots were paid for by the school district. will probably stay in the pool pretty much all day with his para and nobody else will be around. So that should be an easy day. Everyone seems to be working hard with so I'm sure we'll get all the glitches figured out by the end.

There's a good reason why I continue to be a helicopter mom.

Miriam

[Guest guest]

Social skill groups are the real world, actually. They are real people, discussing and learning real life situations. The problem with anything (not just social skill groups) is when no attention is being paid to generalization skills. This is true for anything - speech therapy, OT, etc.

Social skill groups are great for these kids because it introduces them to social situations and to things that they would not ordinarily be thinking about. Concepts are taught and practiced. You also will want to have generalization brought in to any social skill group or program you put your child in. When we did this years ago with my now 13 yo ds, we always had goals written to first be taught (1-1 or in the social group) and then generalized in small group, then in a larger group. His social skill groups varied from all kids with AS or similar issues to a mixed group at school with NT peers mixed in as well. You get what you push for and the school impressed me a lot by going out to get the very book I had at home. lol. So they were heading in the right direction.

Of course, they did not plan on any generalization but again, I made sure that this was included. The ST spent a lot of time in the regular classroom, for instance, prompting appropriate social skills and coming up with ways to help him when she wasn't there. Data was taken in the regular classroom and at recess. The ST we had was wonderful in that she recognized that my ds could give all the "right" answers but could not generalize the concepts to the real world. So she spent more time hanging out in the classroom with him as time went on in order to prompt and help him generalize the skills to the real world environment.

So you can make these things work if you get the right plan in place and have people working with you who are receptive. But I would not discount social skill groups at any rate. If nothing else, they will introduce the ideas to him and give him practice. But it is important to know what he is being taught, why and how you can integrate this outside of the group as well. Don't just drop him off and pick him up an hour later. find out what is being taught. Get a copy of the book being used. Figure out ways to augment the lessons and prompt him in the real world environment. There are usually many opportunities that parents can prompt (even silently with a nudge) in social situations and focus in on the areas that are difficult for their particular child. You can make these groups as "real" as you wish by just using some of your own energy and also pushing school staff to work on generalization skills as part of the IEP.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) Update on Aggression at Camp issue

>

> Â

> had a much better day today. In fact, he had a perfect day. The para used

> to be able to physically direct away from situations that looked like they

> might go bad last year and is having to learn different ways this year. That's

> probably a huge part of it. The para will need to be a helicopter para.

> Fortunately, the natural consequence of NOT hovering is that has a meltdown

> which everyone wants to avoid. Tomorrow will be a good day because most of the

> campers go on field trips except for the kids whose slots were paid for by the

> school district. will probably stay in the pool pretty much all day with

> his para and nobody else will be around. So that should be an easy day. Everyone

> seems to be working hard with so I'm sure we'll get all the glitches

> figured out by the end.

>

> There's a good reason why I continue to be a helicopter mom.

>

> Miriam

>

[Guest guest]

This has all been done and it's been working extremely well. We've had to fine

tune it a bit this summer because is bigger and has some testosterone.

did a great job yesterday in a situation that would have made him

completely freak out a couple of weeks ago. has had support all along and

an FBA has been done a number of times. We may need a new one when school

starts but tomorrow is the last day of camp.

Yesterday a younger boy at camp started doing things to antagonize . The

boy has a para so has his own issues. He seems to enjoy upsetting people.

Anyway, he threw a paper airplane at and asked him to stop. The boy

did it again and wasn't happy about it but the other boy's para jumped in

and made him stop. Later the boys were in conflict again mainly because

stuck his tongue out at the boy. They did that back and forth and used

this opportunity to take the paper airplane away from the other kid. He was

clearly still upset. He also didn't hit anyone despite being upset. 's

para worked with him on other things he could do, the special ed person assigned

to the camp worked on helping him brainstorm other things to do. then went

to his swim time and nothing else bad happened the rest of the day.

The special ed person at this camp has not worked with before but he has an

IEP. It still requires some new learning with each kid because there are

subtleties that are hard to describe on paper. They've all worked hard and

learned a ton. Kids also change over time so something that bugged last

year won't bug him this year. Last year was smaller and people would

remove him from difficult situations. That isn't what I want. I'd rather have

them move back a bit. This is what they've done this year. There are still

situations, though, in which I want the para to be quite close. learns a

lot from coaching BEFORE an upset happens. He can't learn anything if someone

sits back and waits for the bad thing to happen and it just isn't possible to

always know what will be a difficult situation for him. It isn't.

I think last year maybe the para was too much of a helicopter guy so I will need

to work on that with the school in the fall. I already figured this one out.

The para at camp is more willing to move back but sometimes this means not

catching something before it gets to be a problem. No FBA and BIP are perfect

so they do require some fine tuning from time to time.

I diagnosed when he was 3 years old. had an evaluation and an

official dx by age 3.5. He had an FBA at that time. He had another one when we

moved to Texas but it was poorly done and another one had to be done in Texas

when he got to a better school. was 8 when this happened. Then when

was 10 we moved to NH. Another FBA and BIP were done at this time.

Sometimes it is impossible to know what will happen. Sure in a perfect world an

FBA will take care of everything. If it always took care of everything then

what would be the point of having meetings and changing goals all the time?!

actually had a fantastic year at school and dealt with a difficult

situation all year long that nobody knew about because it was happening on the

bus. did SAY some things that weren't great but he never hit anyone. This

is nothing short of miraculous. One big difference is that we were trying to

take off of lexapro. is very anxious without it so we upped the dose

again.

On the bus issue we talked to , talked to the driver, had a meeting at the

school and did some training with the driver to help him know how to deal with

. We didn't have a single problem the rest of the year and everyone felt

great.

Anyway, I expect not everyone knows the history or remembers it from one message

to the next but it does feel sort of like you think I'm just sitting around with

my thumb up my butt and not doing anything and saying, " I hope everything goes

well. " It's not the case. LOL. It just isn't always going to be perfect and

when things become problematic we have to go back to figuring things about

again. We all do that and then new things are put into the IEP.

Miriam

>

> A good day or a bad day should not be left to chance or hope. A good

functional behavior analysis would go a long way (all the way) to dealing with

these problems head on. First, it will identify why he having problems and what

is setting him off. It also should identify what he looks like right before he

starts losing control so that it can be ID'd immediately and action taken before

he falls apart. And finally, it will outline ways to manage, change or get out

of the situations that are causing him problems. Not only is this good for the

other peers and the teachers and aides, but with this in place, you can start to

teach him his own coping skills and to start recognizing his own problem areas.

As he is 13 now, I think you said, it would be important to get started sooner

rather than later. The school should be responsible for bringing in a qualified

behavioral expert to do the FBA. Do not wait until next time. Get it started

now and when next time comes, you will have a plan of action and be proactive

instead of reactive. It is negligent of the school to put him in to a program

without the appropriate supports in place. His para should NOT become a

helicopter para unless you wish to be dealing with his lashing out as an adult.

Ideally, she/he should be trained after the FBA is done and be able to recognize

and apply the appropriate behavior plan as necessary, fading her help as he

improves and helping him to learn how to recognize and help himself as he needs

it. But definitely do not allow this to continue as is and allow someone to

take over his behavior for him. I mean, this solves nothing. And once he is an

adult, he will have learned nothing.

>

>

>

>

> Roxanna

> Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

>

>

>

>

>

> ( ) Update on Aggression at Camp issue

>

>

>

>

>

> had a much better day today. In fact, he had a perfect day. The para

used to be able to physically direct away from situations that looked like

they might go bad last year and is having to learn different ways this year.

That's probably a huge part of it. The para will need to be a helicopter para.

Fortunately, the natural consequence of NOT hovering is that has a meltdown

which everyone wants to avoid. Tomorrow will be a good day because most of the

campers go on field trips except for the kids whose slots were paid for by the

school district. will probably stay in the pool pretty much all day with

his para and nobody else will be around. So that should be an easy day.

Everyone seems to be working hard with so I'm sure we'll get all the

glitches figured out by the end.

>

> There's a good reason why I continue to be a helicopter mom.

>

> Miriam

>

[Guest guest]

How is hanging out in the classroom prompting a kid different from being a

helicopter? To me it's the same. What I want is people to prompt with

social skills as it's needed so that things don't GET to a point of being

upset. generalizes things much better if he gets some prompting when he's

calm than if they're dealing after something has already happened.

I will look into some social skills groups because next year camp won't be

available and I do want to get some good help with this. There are some

people locally who work in small groups, big groups and then in public

situations. That is ideal. I still think he'll need prompting in situations

with new kids for a while because he has it in his head that all kids are

enemies until proven otherwise sometimes. I am looking for a cognitive behavior

therapist as well.

Miriam

> >

> > Miriam...another thought...you said your son is 13...mine is 14. I just

> > remembered (duh ..how could I have forgotten)...your son is

growing...hormones

> > are starting....and he is changing into a man...and this aggression could be

the

> > result of it...my son was very very moody and angry.

> >

> > Jan

> > Â

> > " In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity " Â Â Â Albert Einstein

> > Â

> > Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has

overcome

> > to obtain that position

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ________________________________

> > From: mimasdprofile <callis4773@>

> >

> > Sent: Tue, July 13, 2010 2:13:06 PM

> > Subject: ( ) Update on Aggression at Camp issue

> >

> > Â

> > had a much better day today. In fact, he had a perfect day. The para

used

> > to be able to physically direct away from situations that looked like

they

> > might go bad last year and is having to learn different ways this year.

That's

> > probably a huge part of it. The para will need to be a helicopter para.

> > Fortunately, the natural consequence of NOT hovering is that has a

meltdown

> > which everyone wants to avoid. Tomorrow will be a good day because most of

the

> > campers go on field trips except for the kids whose slots were paid for by

the

> > school district. will probably stay in the pool pretty much all day

with

> > his para and nobody else will be around. So that should be an easy day.

Everyone

> > seems to be working hard with so I'm sure we'll get all the glitches

> > figured out by the end.

> >

> > There's a good reason why I continue to be a helicopter mom.

> >

> > Miriam

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I do not think you are sitting around with your "thumb up your butt" as you put it. I was under the impression that all of your posting was requesting support and ideas to help the situation and this was my (obviously lame) attempt at doing that.

To answer your questions, I don't know what you have but an FBA is done to identify triggers and provide solutions with a resulting behavior plan that actually works. Nothing you wrote initially even led me to believe that an FBA was done at all. It seems that you described a situation in which you prayed each day that he would make it through that day and not explode or have problems. This is not consistent with having an FBA and appropriate BP in place.

You then mentioned wanting an aide to be a helicopter (i.e. be stuck to him at all times) to prevent problems. Again, nothing in that situation speaks to having any BP in place at all. If there is, it is obviously very ineffective as to be worthless since it is doing nothing and you are wishing someone would shadow him at all times. You said the school is providing support but from your posts, I would disagree. At any rate, obviously they are not providing the support he needs or he would not be in this situation, not sure if he makes it through each day in one piece and not being restrained by various staff members who may or may not have medical training in appropriate restraint. One teacher is trained in restraint, you said. Let's hope she is the one nearby when he falls apart and he doesn't end up hurt by the process. Again, let's "hope" because we don't know.

Support to me would be "proactive" to prevent problems and to teach him ways to calm down on his own. I took your posting to mean that what is happening is a reactive situation in which he falls apart, nobody is sure why exactly or they may realize later why it happened, but the result is that we all hope he doesn't lash out and hit anyone else or his aide in the process. At times, the aide was standing too far away to listen to his conversations which you were very anxious about, knowing he can turn on a dime and become upset and lash out. Again, this says to me that the plan in place is not working or sufficient to his needs. To me, that is not a support plan, a behavior plan or anything expect a well paid babysitter who is nearby in case he pokes an eye out. I would be worried to leave my kid in that situation and from your posts, I took your attitude to be that you were really worried each day as well.

I did not mean to imply in any way that you didn't care or weren't doing anything about it but rather, I get the impression that you like these people and you know that they are working really hard to help him. Again, I know that feeling entirely. And they might very well be nice people who are trying really hard. But that is not the same thing as having an FBA, a BP and trained staff who know what to do before he is falling apart. I got the impression that you would appreciate some proactive help instead of waiting for the next hurricane to hit.

Additionally, new staff members would not need to learn subtleties of anything if there was a behavior plan in place that worked. The plan would expressly state what his problems are, what he looks like when he is falling apart and how to redirect him (in a way that actually works.) There would not be any guess work or a learning curve. Naturally, the more you know a kid, the better you will be at helping him/her. But the plan in place is specific and spells out what to do and when and is not dependent on who is with him at the time. There is no hope and luck involved. That is the beauty of it, to my mind. You don't sit around wondering "if" he will make it through the day and if he doesn't, hope he is not hurt or doesn't hurt the other people around him. Instead, you know he's going to have bad days, you know why, you know what the plan is to head it off and you know that when it happens, they will be applying the behavior plan (which will be specifically spelled out.) data is taken as well to decide if the plan is working and if it's not, it will be modified. This leads to your next criticism of my post:

A behavior plan is a proven method that works. As to your references to why you would have to change it if it works so great, I think we are not always discussing the same thing. First, goals are not part of a FBA or BP. A goal is something on his IEP that you are working towards. You would have meetings to adjust goals for the obvious reasons that the goal has been met, needs to be rewritten because it is not being met or because the child is growing and has different needs to be addressed. An IEP is a fluid, living document and should be adjusted and altered as necessary. It works when it is done right and it still needs to be attended to on a regular basis. One doesn't negate the other.

An FBA is not an IEP or a goal on an IEP. Why would you have to redo an FBA if it works so great? An FBA would have to be redone for a variety of reasons. Usually it is because it was not done properly or not done by someone with appropriate training and therefore it is not addressing the needs of the person. Or a person's needs can change dramatically and an FBA would have to be redone to look at the new problems and address those. An FBA done years ago will not be used today because a child will grow and change over time and so will his problems and needs. So if he had one at age 6, it doesn't really help today if he's a teenager now. It might provide various insights or show things that worked in the past, but a new one would have to be done to look at current functioning, needs and problems. An FBA is not something that is specific to each individual event but rather, addresses the core problems going on with that person and identifies why he is having these problem(s). This is another reason why it does work and is not dependent on the right person being around at the time needed for help.

A BP is a different document that outlines a plan of action and describes the problem and what the child looks like when he is starting to need help. It lists the appropriate interventions to be applied in order of least to most. And these interventions have to actually work. There is not a lot of "I hope this works" involved unless you've got a kid with which nothing ever works and have to really work hard to find appropriate plans. I worked with a kid just like that with severe autism and he was sure a tough one in regard to behavior problems. But it was not impossible at all once you figured out what his purpose was. And he didn't talk. But regardless, a BP would have to be redone anytime the plan was not working. data is taken on a regular basis to ensure that this is working and that the basic problem is being address. And if that is not happening, then another plan must be drawn up. This is not a plan drawn up based on whims or hopes, though. The plan should have interventions that will most likely work. In this regard, you wouldn't have to keep rewriting this plan. But you might have to on occasion or as needs change.

I also have dealt with this same kind of situation with my own ds when he was in middle school. I got an FBA and a BP done and not only did we solve the problems or make the manageable, but my ds was able to attend regular classes once the issues were dealt with appropriately vs before, he was unable to attend even sped classes half the time (too busy falling apart.) So I have sympathy for any parent in this situation. I know many parents are not born knowing about FBA's and BP's as I was not either. I know we work hard to find solutions. I was just sharing a solution. I did not realize this would be taken badly by anyone.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) Update on Aggression at Camp issue

>

>

>

>

>

> had a much better day today. In fact, he had a perfect day. The para used to be able to physically direct away from situations that looked like they might go bad last year and is having to learn different ways this year. That's probably a huge part of it. The para will need to be a helicopter para. Fortunately, the natural consequence of NOT hovering is that has a meltdown which everyone wants to avoid. Tomorrow will be a good day because most of the campers go on field trips except for the kids whose slots were paid for by the school district. will probably stay in the pool pretty much all day with his para and nobody else will be around. So that should be an easy day. Everyone seems to be working hard with so I'm sure we'll get all the glitches figured out by the end.

>

> There's a good reason why I continue to be a helicopter mom.

>

> Miriam

>

[Guest guest]

The reason for the anxiety is that a previously very well-working FBA-BIP is no

longer working and we're all sort of scrambling to figure it out. But camp is

only 4 weeks in the summer and things have steadily improved after an extremely

bad start. I haven't posted about it for a while because things improved.

There is something else going on with right now and I'm looking into

getting a neuropsych evaluation because I think it might help me and the school

figure out why things that used to work are no longer working. A new FBA/BP may

be in order, however. But this is all extremely new. didn't have any

aggressive outbursts for the last two years. I think that could explain why

we're all sort of scrambling around. I'm going to take a couple of days to just

take a breath and do fun things. I'm already in contact with the guidance

counselor at 's school. She's fantastic and has some great ideas for

helping .

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I'm sorry.

Thanks,

Miriam

>

> I do not think you are sitting around with your " thumb up your butt " as you

put it. I was under the impression that all of your posting was requesting

support and ideas to help the situation and this was my (obviously lame) attempt

at doing that.

>

> To answer your questions, I don't know what you have but an FBA is done to

identify triggers and provide solutions with a resulting behavior plan that

actually works. Nothing you wrote initially even led me to believe that an FBA

was done at all. It seems that you described a situation in which you prayed

each day that he would make it through that day and not explode or have

problems. This is not consistent with having an FBA and appropriate BP in

place.

>

> You then mentioned wanting an aide to be a helicopter (i.e. be stuck to him at

all times) to prevent problems. Again, nothing in that situation speaks to

having any BP in place at all. If there is, it is obviously very ineffective as

to be worthless since it is doing nothing and you are wishing someone would

shadow him at all times. You said the school is providing support but from your

posts, I would disagree. At any rate, obviously they are not providing the

support he needs or he would not be in this situation, not sure if he makes it

through each day in one piece and not being restrained by various staff members

who may or may not have medical training in appropriate restraint. One teacher

is trained in restraint, you said. Let's hope she is the one nearby when he

falls apart and he doesn't end up hurt by the process. Again, let's " hope "

because we don't know.

>

> Support to me would be " proactive " to prevent problems and to teach him ways

to calm down on his own. I took your posting to mean that what is happening is

a reactive situation in which he falls apart, nobody is sure why exactly or they

may realize later why it happened, but the result is that we all hope he doesn't

lash out and hit anyone else or his aide in the process. At times, the aide was

standing too far away to listen to his conversations which you were very anxious

about, knowing he can turn on a dime and become upset and lash out. Again, this

says to me that the plan in place is not working or sufficient to his needs. To

me, that is not a support plan, a behavior plan or anything expect a well paid

babysitter who is nearby in case he pokes an eye out. I would be worried to

leave my kid in that situation and from your posts, I took your attitude to be

that you were really worried each day as well.

>

> I did not mean to imply in any way that you didn't care or weren't doing

anything about it but rather, I get the impression that you like these people

and you know that they are working really hard to help him. Again, I know that

feeling entirely. And they might very well be nice people who are trying really

hard. But that is not the same thing as having an FBA, a BP and trained staff

who know what to do before he is falling apart. I got the impression that you

would appreciate some proactive help instead of waiting for the next hurricane

to hit.

>

> Additionally, new staff members would not need to learn subtleties of anything

if there was a behavior plan in place that worked. The plan would expressly

state what his problems are, what he looks like when he is falling apart and how

to redirect him (in a way that actually works.) There would not be any guess

work or a learning curve. Naturally, the more you know a kid, the better you

will be at helping him/her. But the plan in place is specific and spells out

what to do and when and is not dependent on who is with him at the time. There

is no hope and luck involved. That is the beauty of it, to my mind. You don't

sit around wondering " if " he will make it through the day and if he doesn't,

hope he is not hurt or doesn't hurt the other people around him. Instead, you

know he's going to have bad days, you know why, you know what the plan is to

head it off and you know that when it happens, they will be applying the

behavior plan (which will be specifically spelled out.) data is taken as well

to decide if the plan is working and if it's not, it will be modified. This

leads to your next criticism of my post:

>

> A behavior plan is a proven method that works. As to your references to why

you would have to change it if it works so great, I think we are not always

discussing the same thing. First, goals are not part of a FBA or BP. A goal is

something on his IEP that you are working towards. You would have meetings to

adjust goals for the obvious reasons that the goal has been met, needs to be

rewritten because it is not being met or because the child is growing and has

different needs to be addressed. An IEP is a fluid, living document and should

be adjusted and altered as necessary. It works when it is done right and it

still needs to be attended to on a regular basis. One doesn't negate the other.

>

> An FBA is not an IEP or a goal on an IEP. Why would you have to redo an FBA

if it works so great? An FBA would have to be redone for a variety of reasons.

Usually it is because it was not done properly or not done by someone with

appropriate training and therefore it is not addressing the needs of the person.

Or a person's needs can change dramatically and an FBA would have to be redone

to look at the new problems and address those. An FBA done years ago will not

be used today because a child will grow and change over time and so will his

problems and needs. So if he had one at age 6, it doesn't really help today if

he's a teenager now. It might provide various insights or show things that

worked in the past, but a new one would have to be done to look at current

functioning, needs and problems. An FBA is not something that is specific to

each individual event but rather, addresses the core problems going on with that

person and identifies why he is having these problem(s). This is another reason

why it does work and is not dependent on the right person being around at the

time needed for help.

>

> A BP is a different document that outlines a plan of action and describes the

problem and what the child looks like when he is starting to need help. It

lists the appropriate interventions to be applied in order of least to most.

And these interventions have to actually work. There is not a lot of " I hope

this works " involved unless you've got a kid with which nothing ever works and

have to really work hard to find appropriate plans. I worked with a kid just

like that with severe autism and he was sure a tough one in regard to behavior

problems. But it was not impossible at all once you figured out what his

purpose was. And he didn't talk. But regardless, a BP would have to be redone

anytime the plan was not working. data is taken on a regular basis to ensure

that this is working and that the basic problem is being address. And if that

is not happening, then another plan must be drawn up. This is not a plan drawn

up based on whims or hopes, though. The plan should have interventions that

will most likely work. In this regard, you wouldn't have to keep rewriting this

plan. But you might have to on occasion or as needs change.

>

> I also have dealt with this same kind of situation with my own ds when he was

in middle school. I got an FBA and a BP done and not only did we solve the

problems or make the manageable, but my ds was able to attend regular classes

once the issues were dealt with appropriately vs before, he was unable to attend

even sped classes half the time (too busy falling apart.) So I have sympathy

for any parent in this situation. I know many parents are not born knowing

about FBA's and BP's as I was not either. I know we work hard to find

solutions. I was just sharing a solution. I did not realize this would be

taken badly by anyone.

>

>

>

>

> Roxanna

> Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

>

>

[Guest guest]

The hard thing is that really, behaviorally, was doing SO well that I'm

thinking maybe his BP hasn't been followed much. So you do make a good point.

I apologize for my earlier statements. I'm pretty well out of my head and

probably could use an FBA and a BP myself. I'm exhausted and I'm 48 years old

and in the middle of perimenopause which is NOT helping this situation at all.

I feel like things have worked very very well with for the past 3 years or

so but is changing rapidly now. He grew 6 inches in about 6 months. His

voice is getting deeper. He's getting facial hair and his skin isn't great and

his hair is very greasy. On top of this we have tried some medication changes.

is on Intuniv for attention. It's a blood pressure med that also can help

kids pay attention. It works well for kids on the spectrum because it isn't a

stimulant so there is less chance for the development of tics.

I will request a new FBA this year and get a new BP set up because it is clear

that he needs a new one. The medication can cause irritability so that could be

a contributing factor. Maybe if the BP was working better we wouldn't NEED the

intuniv. I don't know.

Anyway, I want to apologize again. I am sorry.

Miriam

> >

> > A good day or a bad day should not be left to chance or hope. A good

functional behavior analysis would go a long way (all the way) to dealing with

these problems head on. First, it will identify why he having problems and what

is setting him off. It also should identify what he looks like right before he

starts losing control so that it can be ID'd immediately and action taken before

he falls apart. And finally, it will outline ways to manage, change or get out

of the situations that are causing him problems. Not only is this good for the

other peers and the teachers and aides, but with this in place, you can start to

teach him his own coping skills and to start recognizing his own problem areas.

As he is 13 now, I think you said, it would be important to get started sooner

rather than later. The school should be responsible for bringing in a qualified

behavioral expert to do the FBA. Do not wait until next time. Get it started

now and when next time comes, you will have a plan of action and be proactive

instead of reactive. It is negligent of the school to put him in to a program

without the appropriate supports in place. His para should NOT become a

helicopter para unless you wish to be dealing with his lashing out as an adult.

Ideally, she/he should be trained after the FBA is done and be able to recognize

and apply the appropriate behavior plan as necessary, fading her help as he

improves and helping him to learn how to recognize and help himself as he needs

it. But definitely do not allow this to continue as is and allow someone to

take over his behavior for him. I mean, this solves nothing. And once he is an

adult, he will have learned nothing.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Roxanna

> > Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ( ) Update on Aggression at Camp issue

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > had a much better day today. In fact, he had a perfect day. The para

used to be able to physically direct away from situations that looked like

they might go bad last year and is having to learn different ways this year.

That's probably a huge part of it. The para will need to be a helicopter para.

Fortunately, the natural consequence of NOT hovering is that has a meltdown

which everyone wants to avoid. Tomorrow will be a good day because most of the

campers go on field trips except for the kids whose slots were paid for by the

school district. will probably stay in the pool pretty much all day with

his para and nobody else will be around. So that should be an easy day.

Everyone seems to be working hard with so I'm sure we'll get all the

glitches figured out by the end.

> >

> > There's a good reason why I continue to be a helicopter mom.

> >

> > Miriam

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> =

>

[Guest guest]

It's a major difference. It's the difference between giving someone a fish and teaching him to fish. Somehow I think you are lumping a group of words to all mean the same thing sometimes. A prompt is done after a skill has been taught. A prompt is not stopping to teach a skill. Within a class environment, these kids can benefit from prompting when they are in a situation in which they know what to do but are not able to recognize the situation, are unable to process through how to perform the situation, or they forget to even note what is going on. Someone prompts them using the least intrusive method necessary and they are able to realize that this is when they need to (whatever skill is being prompted.) Since they already know what to do or say, once prompted, they should then perform what is being prompted and of course, hopefully the need for prompting becomes less as they increase their abilities.

I don't know how else you might have meant your question. But it seems like you are putting down the whole concept as a waste of time and no different than other forms of teaching skills. So I am really not sure how to answer you. Any teaching for these kids will require follow up to see that he/she is applying the skill taught in the real world environment. For some kids, they will not do that without prompting. Adding generalization to all skills being taught is just part of the whole learning process but it is often left out of the process.

My own ds needed a lot of prompting most of the time because he is fairly autistic and did not even care to learn social skills. I remember the ST one year - so exhausted in her tone - saying, "He doesn't even want to learn how." So it was a bigger challenge with someone like that than someone who wants to learn and just doesn't know how. Still, it is the same principal. Once we taught him skills, he had no incentive to apply what he knew to real life situations. By prompting him, we were able to get him to apply skills in the moment and learn how to manage situations.

Prompting is not a behavior plan although you could prompt the skills already taught as part of a social skill lesson so that they applied at the appropriate time. Anyway, hovering over a child at all times is not anything to do with prompting. It's two totally different concepts.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) Update on Aggression at Camp issue

> >

> > Â

> > had a much better day today. In fact, he had a perfect day. The para used

> > to be able to physically direct away from situations that looked like they

> > might go bad last year and is having to learn different ways this year. That's

> > probably a huge part of it. The para will need to be a helicopter para.

> > Fortunately, the natural consequence of NOT hovering is that has a meltdown

> > which everyone wants to avoid. Tomorrow will be a good day because most of the

> > campers go on field trips except for the kids whose slots were paid for by the

> > school district. will probably stay in the pool pretty much all day with

> > his para and nobody else will be around. So that should be an easy day. Everyone

> > seems to be working hard with so I'm sure we'll get all the glitches

> > figured out by the end.

> >

> > There's a good reason why I continue to be a helicopter mom.

> >

> > Miriam

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Since this is a long post I will put my responses beneath each paragraph.

> > >

> > > Miriam...another thought...you said your son is 13...mine is 14. I

just

> > > remembered (duh ..how could I have forgotten)...your son is

growing...hormones

> > > are starting....and he is changing into a man...and this aggression could

be the

> > > result of it...my son was very very moody and angry.

> > >

> > > Jan

> > > Â

> > > " In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity " Â Â Â Albert

Einstein

> > > Â

> > > Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has

overcome

> > > to obtain that position

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ________________________________

> > > From: mimasdprofile <callis4773@>

> > >

> > > Sent: Tue, July 13, 2010 2:13:06 PM

> > > Subject: ( ) Update on Aggression at Camp issue

> > >

> > > Â

> > > had a much better day today. In fact, he had a perfect day. The para

used

> > > to be able to physically direct away from situations that looked like

they

> > > might go bad last year and is having to learn different ways this year.

That's

> > > probably a huge part of it. The para will need to be a helicopter para.

> > > Fortunately, the natural consequence of NOT hovering is that has a

meltdown

> > > which everyone wants to avoid. Tomorrow will be a good day because most of

the

> > > campers go on field trips except for the kids whose slots were paid for by

the

> > > school district. will probably stay in the pool pretty much all day

with

> > > his para and nobody else will be around. So that should be an easy day.

Everyone

> > > seems to be working hard with so I'm sure we'll get all the glitches

> > > figured out by the end.

> > >

> > > There's a good reason why I continue to be a helicopter mom.

> > >

> > > Miriam

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

A behavior plan would be an outline of what the child looks like falling apart so you could see it was coming and take appropriate action. For instance, before my ds would fall apart, he would shut down, refuse to look at anyone or participate, and start shredding paper or spinning things at his desk. This was the warning that he was unable to cope. The plan then would list what was to happen when he was in this situation. The adult would be responsible for recognizing the problem was coming and helping implement the plan.

Implementing social skill goals in the IEP would help as well. You could then work on the problems that happen that get him into his state of anger, overwhelmed or anxiety overload. For instance, you say he puts everyone in a "friend or enemy" category after meeting them. As he learns how to socialize and correctly interpret social cues, this might fade quite a bit.

If you were teaching him to respond a certain way in a certain situation, you could certainly prompt that behavior. The BP, however, lists what needs to happen if he is falling apart. You know, a list of what to do in order from least to most. The adult would implement that BP. But again, if you wanted to teach him how to manage a particular situation, you could have that as a goal in the IEP, teach it, practice it and then prompt it in the moment.

Sorry things are rough right now. I hope it gets better. I don't know why things are worse this year for him as I don't even know him personally, obviously. But I can say that as they get older, it gets a lot harder for them to manage situations. Social situations get a lot more complex as kids get the teen years! It's no longer about just sharing your toys. You have cliques, you have boy/girl romance starting, puberty and hormonal issues, etc. The more they have to know and the farther behind they are gets to be more obvious for some kids.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) Update on Aggression at Camp issue

> > >

> > > Â

> > > had a much better day today. In fact, he had a perfect day. The para used

> > > to be able to physically direct away from situations that looked like they

> > > might go bad last year and is having to learn different ways this year. That's

> > > probably a huge part of it. The para will need to be a helicopter para.

> > > Fortunately, the natural consequence of NOT hovering is that has a meltdown

> > > which everyone wants to avoid. Tomorrow will be a good day because most of the

> > > campers go on field trips except for the kids whose slots were paid for by the

> > > school district. will probably stay in the pool pretty much all day with

> > > his para and nobody else will be around. So that should be an easy day. Everyone

> > > seems to be working hard with so I'm sure we'll get all the glitches

> > > figured out by the end.

> > >

> > > There's a good reason why I continue to be a helicopter mom.

> > >

> > > Miriam

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Yep, this is what I'd like to see happen. I will be working with 's doctors

and school folks to make it happen. I also want to get a neuropsych evaluation

so I'm hoping to get a referral for that. is seeing his neurologist the

day before school starts and she might know a neuropsych who can do the eval.

> > > >

> > > > Miriam...another thought...you said your son is 13...mine is

14.ÃÆ'‚ I just

> > > > remembered (duh ..how could I have forgotten)...your son is

growing...hormones

> > > > are starting....and he is changing into a man...and this aggression

could be the

> > > > result of it...my son was very very moody and angry.

> > > >

> > > > Jan

> > > > ÃÆ'‚

> > > > " In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity " ÃÆ'‚ ÃÆ'‚

ÃÆ'‚ Albert Einstein

> > > > ÃÆ'‚

> > > > Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has

overcome

> > > > to obtain that position

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > ________________________________

> > > > From: mimasdprofile <callis4773@>

> > > >

> > > > Sent: Tue, July 13, 2010 2:13:06 PM

> > > > Subject: ( ) Update on Aggression at Camp issue

> > > >

> > > > ÃÆ'‚

> > > > had a much better day today. In fact, he had a perfect day. The

para used

> > > > to be able to physically direct away from situations that looked

like they

> > > > might go bad last year and is having to learn different ways this year.

That's

> > > > probably a huge part of it. The para will need to be a helicopter para.

> > > > Fortunately, the natural consequence of NOT hovering is that has a

meltdown

> > > > which everyone wants to avoid. Tomorrow will be a good day because most

of the

> > > > campers go on field trips except for the kids whose slots were paid for

by the

> > > > school district. will probably stay in the pool pretty much all day

with

> > > > his para and nobody else will be around. So that should be an easy day.

Everyone

> > > > seems to be working hard with so I'm sure we'll get all the

glitches

> > > > figured out by the end.

> > > >

> > > > There's a good reason why I continue to be a helicopter mom.

> > > >

> > > > Miriam

> > > >

> > >

> >

>