Soccer

[Guest guest]

Hi Heidi,

Sadly, no advice. Just a hug.

It can be really hard to accept, sometimes. Your hubby is at that point.

He's got to just accept him for who he is, which it sounds like he does. And accept him for his abilities (or lack, thereof)...he he. (Sorry - joke). That's the hard part, I think.

I think that's a hard part for any parent who has a "dream" for their child.........whether they are AS or not, ya know?

I swam for 10 years on a team.....was pretty good (hee hee). 3 of my kids love to swim and are on a team, but if we're being honest. 2 of them feel that if they show up and get wet and play with their pals, they'll win at the meets. Sigh. Deep down, I HOPE sooooo badly for 1 kid that gets really great at it. I don't see that happening. he he.

Anyway, what he's going through sounds normal.

Again, hugs.

Robin

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be. For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see, there will be an answer. let it be.

From: Heidi Guarino <heidi.guarino@...>Subject: ( ) Soccer Date: Monday, September 27, 2010, 7:54 AM

Hi everyone,

My son Owen is 7 and in second grade. He largely does very well in school, has a few friends and minimal issues with behavior, etc. My husband is a big soccer fan and was a player in HS, and decided this year that Owen should experience team sports, so we put him on the under 8 team in our town. My husband signed up to be the assistant coach of the team so they could spend time together, and so he could keep an eye on Owen.

We are now three weeks into the twice weekly soccer season, and it isn't going well. Owen goes to the practice and the games without complaint, but once he gets there he barely pays attention. He skips after the other boys instead of running, seems mildly afraid of the ball and politely steps back so the other boys can kick it when it comes close to him. Personally this doesn't bother me that much - so long as he's not complaining I think it's good for him to be outside, getting exercise and interacting with other boys. My husband, on the other hand, is getting very depressed about it, and I fear, just now coming to grips with the fact that our son has a disability.

Owen was diagnosed when he was 3 so we've had plenty of time to get used to this, but we've been able to overcome a lot of his issues through hard work, tutors, constant redirection and lots of love and affection. Owen is a wonderful, funny, caring and incredibly artistic little boy - and not particularly interested in sports.

His younger brother, on the other hand, is the exact opposite. My husband is coaching his under 6 team as well, and Jake (4.5 years old) is the star player.

Again, I don't relaly care if Owen ever plays pro soccer, I just want him to be healthy and happy. I know my husband wants the same things for him, but I worry that this experience will change the way he looks at his son. Any advice?

[Guest guest]

Is your husband working with Owen one-on-one, too? It might help if he isn't. My son doesn't have the best coordination, but he's been playing since he was 8 and now at the age of 14, he's one of the best defensive players on the team. He was more awkward in his younger years, most definitely, and still has some depth perception challenges, but playing defense is perfect for him. He really can concentrate on where the ball is on the field and does a good job anticipating where it might go. I'll say the "switch was flipped" in the last 2 years or so and he has really come alive, if you will, on the field. Before, he'd always give effort, but it was hard for him to connect with the ball. And he's got some strong legs so when he kicks the ball, it goes far! He is yellow carded more than your average soccer player and that is partly from difficulty with coordination and partly

b/c he gets so focused on the ball, his perception of his body compared to the location of others is a little off.

My personal opinion for your situation is for your son to stick with it, especially since your husband is the assistant coach. Make sure he and your sons get out there and practice together, either the three of them or even just one-on-one w/ your husband and Owen, so he can get more familiar with the ball. We could've easily given up, and I thought about it more than once b/c frankly, it was a little embarrassing when he was out there at times, but I'm so glad I didn't! Soccer is a great source of confidence for him now, a good way to learn about working within a team format, and an excellent source of exercise.

Hang in there!

From: Heidi Guarino <heidi.guarino@...> Sent: Mon, September 27, 2010 7:54:18 AMSubject: ( ) Soccer

Hi everyone,

My son Owen is 7 and in second grade. He largely does very well in school, has a few friends and minimal issues with behavior, etc. My husband is a big soccer fan and was a player in HS, and decided this year that Owen should experience team sports, so we put him on the under 8 team in our town. My husband signed up to be the assistant coach of the team so they could spend time together, and so he could keep an eye on Owen.

We are now three weeks into the twice weekly soccer season, and it isn't going well. Owen goes to the practice and the games without complaint, but once he gets there he barely pays attention. He skips after the other boys instead of running, seems mildly afraid of the ball and politely steps back so the other boys can kick it when it comes close to him. Personally this doesn't bother me that much - so long as he's not complaining I think it's good for him to be outside, getting exercise and interacting with other boys. My husband, on the other hand, is getting very depressed about it, and I fear, just now coming to grips with the fact that our son has a disability.

Owen was diagnosed when he was 3 so we've had plenty of time to get used to this, but we've been able to overcome a lot of his issues through hard work, tutors, constant redirection and lots of love and affection. Owen is a wonderful, funny, caring and incredibly artistic little boy - and not particularly interested in sports.

His younger brother, on the other hand, is the exact opposite. My husband is coaching his under 6 team as well, and Jake (4.5 years old) is the star player.

Again, I don't relaly care if Owen ever plays pro soccer, I just want him to be healthy and happy. I know my husband wants the same things for him, but I worry that this experience will change the way he looks at his son. Any advice?

[Guest guest]

All 3 of my sons played soccer at that age, 2 of them on up thru high school

(tho not my AS son).

As I can recall, at that age kids can really differ in skills. Some you watch

seem just to " get it " and are so talented, getting the goals, playing the field.

Others less so. My oldest was older than 7 when he finally " got it " and wasn't

so nervous (maybe) and was really one of the better players rest of his

" career. " He may have been 9 or 10.... But I still remember the season he got

it, even some of his past coaches were wondering " what happened? " as he was such

a lead player that year. His younger brother was pretty much always good, but

at age 7 was still a little lost compared to some of the " stars. "

My AS son -- lost a bit too. I do remember, tho think he was younger, his being

a bit like your son, he'd stop and start looking at some cut/scrape on his

finger or something, LOL. I'd be shouting " run, run! " I did find with him

that " defense " was the best spot for him. Put him near the goal and his job was

NOT to let that ball get past him. Still took a little time to get him to move

(when he was in his position, he thought he had to stay on that spot or

something and wait for the ball to come right to him) but he finally " got it "

and would run up to kick the ball out of the area, etc. Offense not a good

playing position. He started doing pretty well in that position.

Now, baseball - older than 7, actually a good eye for hitting the ball (not

catching though). (At home when younger, I gave up trying to teach him to hit,

I think I was making it worse, LOL. But he was better by the time we started

him at the YMCA with t-ball.) The rules of baseball he could not " get " , too

much thinking as to what to do depending on how/where ball is hit, etc. He did

play at local group for a while but when the kids got to the age the team was

*serious* about winning, I took him out, saying one season of sports (soccer)

was enough for me, etc. But I still remember his skipping to each base, sigh,

one game. A mom near me was amused, sort of delighted, by it and said " well at

least he's having fun! " while I'm thinking " don't skip, RUN. "

Football - he actually had a good arm for passing it when he was much older

(surprising me) but never tried that sport with any of my sons other than out in

the yard.

So my thought for soccer is defense, but teach him his position, to move around

to block/kick ball away from goal, etc., not wait for it to come to *his spot.*

A lot of kids with AS seem to do pretty well at some of the martial arts, we

didn't try it but have read from other parents. Also my AS son joined the

fencing club in high school (still sort of new for his high school so all

beginners there) and wasn't the best but wasn't the worst alone either, he

enjoyed it, others were nice, supportive; actually won some sets, etc.

Surprised me due to the motor skills required, which was a weak area for him.

single mom, 3 sons

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> My son Owen is 7 and in second grade. He largely does very well in school,

> has a few friends and minimal issues with behavior, etc. My husband is a big

> soccer fan and was a player in HS, and decided this year that Owen should

[Guest guest]

My daughter is 9 and has been playing soccer since she was 3. She has not progressed as quickly as a NT child would due to her gross motor delays and her difficulty with concentrating on the ball and watching her teammate to pass the ball. She does well also on defense and understands to stay between the ball and the net (most of the time). Like all things for her, she requires much more repitition to learn skills and we also notice that she loses skills between seasons. I agree with the other people that he would benefit ftom working one on one and find a position that he understands and work on that. If your son doesn't want to give up I think soccer is a great sport for the cardiovascular benefits.

Best Wishes,

Becky

From: MacAllister <smacalli@...> Sent: Mon, September 27, 2010 11:11:00 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Soccer

Is your husband working with Owen one-on-one, too? It might help if he isn't. My son doesn't have the best coordination, but he's been playing since he was 8 and now at the age of 14, he's one of the best defensive players on the team. He was more awkward in his younger years, most definitely, and still has some depth perception challenges, but playing defense is perfect for him. He really can concentrate on where the ball is on the field and does a good job anticipating where it might go. I'll say the "switch was flipped" in the last 2 years or so and he has really come alive, if you will, on the field. Before, he'd always give effort, but it was hard for him to connect with the ball. And he's got some strong legs so when he kicks the ball, it goes far! He is yellow carded more than your average soccer player and that is partly from difficulty with coordination and partly

b/c he gets so focused on the ball, his perception of his body compared to the location of others is a little off.

My personal opinion for your situation is for your son to stick with it, especially since your husband is the assistant coach. Make sure he and your sons get out there and practice together, either the three of them or even just one-on-one w/ your husband and Owen, so he can get more familiar with the ball. We could've easily given up, and I thought about it more than once b/c frankly, it was a little embarrassing when he was out there at times, but I'm so glad I didn't! Soccer is a great source of confidence for him now, a good way to learn about working within a team format, and an excellent source of exercise.

Hang in there!

From: Heidi Guarino <heidi.guarino@...> Sent: Mon, September 27, 2010 7:54:18 AMSubject: ( ) Soccer

Hi everyone,

My son Owen is 7 and in second grade. He largely does very well in school, has a few friends and minimal issues with behavior, etc. My husband is a big soccer fan and was a player in HS, and decided this year that Owen should experience team sports, so we put him on the under 8 team in our town. My husband signed up to be the assistant coach of the team so they could spend time together, and so he could keep an eye on Owen.

We are now three weeks into the twice weekly soccer season, and it isn't going well. Owen goes to the practice and the games without complaint, but once he gets there he barely pays attention. He skips after the other boys instead of running, seems mildly afraid of the ball and politely steps back so the other boys can kick it when it comes close to him. Personally this doesn't bother me that much - so long as he's not complaining I think it's good for him to be outside, getting exercise and interacting with other boys. My husband, on the other hand, is getting very depressed about it, and I fear, just now coming to grips with the fact that our son has a disability.

Owen was diagnosed when he was 3 so we've had plenty of time to get used to this, but we've been able to overcome a lot of his issues through hard work, tutors, constant redirection and lots of love and affection. Owen is a wonderful, funny, caring and incredibly artistic little boy - and not particularly interested in sports.

His younger brother, on the other hand, is the exact opposite. My husband is coaching his under 6 team as well, and Jake (4.5 years old) is the star player.

Again, I don't relaly care if Owen ever plays pro soccer, I just want him to be healthy and happy. I know my husband wants the same things for him, but I worry that this experience will change the way he looks at his son. Any advice?

[Guest guest]

Here in London, Ontario (Canada) we have a cool soccer league called: A League of Our Own, soccer for children on the spectrum. They are grouped by age, and area on the spectrum. They can play soccer and have fun, but without the issues. Maybe some parents could start one in your area. Hope that helps.

Donna

[Guest guest]

What a fantastic idea!

From: Donna <donpark@...> Sent: Mon, September 27, 2010 6:29:20 PMSubject: ( ) Soccer

Here in London, Ontario (Canada) we have a cool soccer league called: A League of Our Own, soccer for children on the spectrum. They are grouped by age, and area on the spectrum. They can play soccer and have fun, but without the issues. Maybe some parents could start one in your area. Hope that helps.

Donna

[Guest guest]

That is a fantastic idea. I'm in Massachusetts - does anyone know of something similar here?

On Tue, Sep 28, 2010 at 9:26 AM, mbaet <mbaet@...> wrote:

 

What a fantastic idea!

From: Donna <donpark@...>

Sent: Mon, September 27, 2010 6:29:20 PMSubject: ( ) Soccer

 

Here in London, Ontario (Canada) we have a cool soccer league called: A League of Our Own, soccer for children on the spectrum. They are grouped by age, and area on the spectrum. They can play soccer and have fun, but without the issues. Maybe some parents could start one in your area. Hope that helps.

 

Donna