Re: advice for new AS parents

[Guest guest]

I think the road is a tough one, but it depends on your child. Many people with Aspergers have gotten through school without being noticed, but schools have changed, and it seems that with this emphasis on everyone being the same, the AS students are overwhelmed and flushed out of public schools as the grade gets higher. An IEP is good IF they follow it and IF it covers what they need. Many AS students can't take the noise and the schools can't or won't accommodate that need. I have found it to be a disaster. But, maybe your son will be easier. They are not all alike. Just like the normal children are not all alike. From: purple2hippo <jeta12333@...> Sent: Sat, November 6, 2010 5:51:23 PMSubject: ( ) advice for new AS parents

Hi,

My four year old son was recently diagnosed with Aspergers. Our world has suddenly changed even though people tell me my son is still the same person. I am worried. I probably have the same questions you do/did.

Parents of older AS. What does the road look like out there? Where do your strength and hope come from? My son will start kindergarten next year and I feel lost. We will request an IEP.

1. Are AS kids in classes with the general population? Is it effective?

2. What are the most important things I can do to help him live a productive and happy life?

3. What is your coping mechanism?

Lost and confused,

[Guest guest]

I agree with Sandee. It is really tough, but it depends on how sever your son is and also what the school district is like in your area. So far we've not been anywhere that we didn't have issues with the school. My son is now 13 and things have gotten ten time worse with the school since he started middle school. I think they are trying to get us so frustrated that we take him out of school that way they are off the hook.

My son was never that agressive when he was younger, and his behavior in school over the years have gotten worse. I attribute some of this to him being a teenager now, but from things that are done and how he is treated more of it is the schools.

My main advice to you would be is to get your son as many services and therapies now while he is still so young. This will benefit him in the future. Also, DO NOT take for granted that the school has your son's best interest at heart. While there will be teachers and school administrators that WILL care and help your son, there will be many more that don't and won't. Keep good records, document everything, know how to read and understand your son's test scores and what they mean. This will help you determine if he is making progress.

AS kids can be in regular classes with proper supports as well as in inclusion classrooms. But my experiences has been that most teachers, even special ed teachers have absolutley no experience with AS kids have no clue what to do which only makes things worse.

Yes, your son can have a happy life but it will take a lot of hard work on your part as the parent.

I also recommend taking a workshop in special education law and how to advocate for your son. Because unless you're in a distric that is an exception to the norm, you are going to need it. I wish I had gotten myself more informed sooner. Check out www.wrightslaw.com. this site is excellent and has an abundant amount of information to help you.

As for coping strategies, it depends on you. If you're a very strong women then venting in this type of forum or to family or friends might be enough. But I think I'm a pretty strong woman and I've already raised two kids (now 23 and 21) and I often feel like I can't take it another day. So make sure you have a good network of support in various forms, like a support group in your area, etc.

I'm sorry if I've painted a gloomy picture, but I wish all the time that someone had told me these things a lot sooner in my journey with my son's AS. Knowledge is power, so the more you have on AS and laws and your son's rights the better off you and he will be.

Take care and good luck. <<hugs>>

~ne

From: sandee C <irsandee@...>Subject: Re: ( ) advice for new AS parents Date: Saturday, November 6, 2010, 8:30 PM

I think the road is a tough one, but it depends on your child. Many people with Aspergers have gotten through school without being noticed, but schools have changed, and it seems that with this emphasis on everyone being the same, the AS students are overwhelmed and flushed out of public schools as the grade gets higher. An IEP is good IF they follow it and IF it covers what they need. Many AS students can't take the noise and the schools can't or won't accommodate that need. I have found it to be a disaster. But, maybe your son will be easier. They are not all alike. Just like the normal children are not all alike.

From: purple2hippo <jeta12333@...> Sent: Sat, November 6, 2010 5:51:23 PMSubject: ( ) advice for new AS parents

Hi,My four year old son was recently diagnosed with Aspergers. Our world has suddenly changed even though people tell me my son is still the same person. I am worried. I probably have the same questions you do/did.Parents of older AS. What does the road look like out there? Where do your strength and hope come from? My son will start kindergarten next year and I feel lost. We will request an IEP.1. Are AS kids in classes with the general population? Is it effective?2. What are the most important things I can do to help him live a productive and happy life?3. What is your coping mechanism? Lost and confused,

[Guest guest]

Hello,

My name is Edna Gillam, and it is my grandson, iel, he is 10. I try to be knowledgeable about any discussion or activity I'm invovled with. I'm invovled with several groups. Child Support, Custody, Domestic violence, Elder abuse. I run a group for injured workers, my area, is housing, food and ulities. I sit on Grandparent Rights and Kinship care. I'm a Ruritan, for Beaver Township in Mahoning County, Ohio. I have been figthing for money and accountability for services for special education children for almost 30 years. My husband, Lee and I were invovled Challenger Baseball for 14 years until his sudden death, 6 years ago.

Nate's mom works night turn, so that she can support her sons. She has one older and one younger. We all live together, so that we can live. I know that it makes for long days and at times discouraging. But as a mom of two children, with special education needs, who are now adults. I will tell you that at times you will not be popular, but if you need my help I'm there. But I don't always playing well with others, and I have been called that 5 letter word, B, many times I just want you to be accountable for what you do to help our children with things they need. To much lately I have heard the words, that if you're poor, disabled then you are disposable. Not on my watch. Every child is a gift from God, so there very special parents. Because I know that every inroad we help make. Then this is making some roads easier for children coming after ours..

Our school district is South Range in southern Mahoning County. We have many caring and special people who work in our school district, They are becoming as frustrated as we are. my best advice for all of you, are be knowledgeable, ask questions, talk to others. Because I know that there are times we are discouraged from talking to other parents. Because of the Hippa laws, parents, counselors, and doctors are discouraged from coming into the classroom. Parents are not allowed to volunteer intheir children's classroom.

If you need my help, please don't hesiate to contact me. Not only are we looking for help, but maybe we can help.

In God's Peace

Edna

[Guest guest]

My AS was in gen ed, but we altered his iep to put him in a class that was combo gifted kids and special ed. It was great for him, becasue he could give the special ed kids knowledge in a way they understood due to him being different as well. Gen pop was not so good for him. To many kids, to impressionable, to impulsive. I now have him home schooling and he simple loves it. Contact with kids, but limited, and he gets to set his own pace. The major issues come upo as they advance through the stages of puberty, becasue their minds understand what they emotionally and socially are unable to. The strong points are he is soo intelligent, creative, and yes even loving in his own way. I love to encourage his fantasy discussions and even join in and add my own craziness occasionally. This makes him feel less different, liek he is like every one else. And when

the meltdowns occur, we talk it through.

Amber Barnett

From: purple2hippo <jeta12333@...> Sent: Sat, November 6, 2010 5:51:23 PMSubject: ( ) advice for new AS parents

Hi,My four year old son was recently diagnosed with Aspergers. Our world has suddenly changed even though people tell me my son is still the same person. I am worried. I probably have the same questions you do/did.Parents of older AS. What does the road look like out there? Where do your strength and hope come from? My son will start kindergarten next year and I feel lost. We will request an IEP.1. Are AS kids in classes with the general population? Is it effective?2. What are the most important things I can do to help him live a productive and happy life?3. What is your coping mechanism? Lost and confused,

[Guest guest]

Wow ne you took the words right out of my mouth!

We too are experiencing middle school and you're right, it's ten times worse. I

feel like I talk to the teachers more that I talk to my hubby, ha ha. I have a

feeling by the next semester we'll be homeschooling.

I'm not trying to scare parents of newly diagnosed AS kiddos but do know that as

they get older school gets much worse for these kiddos.

Do take advatage of and an ALL services you can get for your little ones. Back

when my son was 7 and diagnosed we had insurance but didn't know what type of OT

or other therapy to ask for. I feel like we missed the boat and at that young of

an age some covered therapies really could have helped. My son is now 13 and

we've been insurance free for years and years and it's really hard. I've

collected library of books on Aspergers and Sensory Disorders but I truly feel,

had we obtained the correct services when our son was younger life would have

been a bit easier on us all.

Hang in there, do your homework, ask tons of questions and keep coming here for

support. I feel so much better knowing all the loving caring people here are

going through the same thing and won't judge what so ever.

W

>

>

> From: sandee C <irsandee@...>

> Subject: Re: ( ) advice for new AS parents

>

> Date: Saturday, November 6, 2010, 8:30 PM

>

>

>  

>

>

>

>

> I think the road is a tough one, but it depends on your child. Many people

with Aspergers have gotten through school without being noticed, but schools

have changed, and it seems that with this emphasis on everyone being the same,

the AS students are overwhelmed and flushed out of public schools as the grade

gets higher. An IEP is good IF they follow it and IF it covers what they need.

Many AS students can't take the noise and the schools can't or won't accommodate

that need. I have found it to be a disaster. But, maybe your son will be easier.

They are not all alike. Just like the normal children are not all alike.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> From: purple2hippo <jeta12333@...>

>

> Sent: Sat, November 6, 2010 5:51:23 PM

> Subject: ( ) advice for new AS parents

>

>  

>

> Hi,

>

> My four year old son was recently diagnosed with Aspergers. Our world has

suddenly changed even though people tell me my son is still the same person. I

am worried. I probably have the same questions you do/did.

>

> Parents of older AS. What does the road look like out there? Where do your

strength and hope come from? My son will start kindergarten next year and I feel

lost. We will request an IEP.

>

> 1. Are AS kids in classes with the general population? Is it effective?

> 2. What are the most important things I can do to help him live a productive

and happy life?

> 3. What is your coping mechanism?

>

> Lost and confused,

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

We have only had a dx since mid-sixth grade, although " something was different "

from early on.

We muddled thru middle school and although we were encouraged to put him in a

private school, we decided to give the local public high school a try. Muddling

involved trying different meds and different tactics in his IEP. Some things

worked, most didn't.

Just a few months in, things are going well. He is getting good grades and has

friends. We are lucky to have a good school district and some great teachers. A

little maturity has helped too.

I know that things will change, but I am confidant that my ds will be successful

at whatever he eventually puts his mind to!

The most important advice I would give is to look after yourself first. Take

some time to do something you enjoy and be kind and forgiving to yourself first!

Kylie

>

> Hi,

>

> My four year old son was recently diagnosed with Aspergers. Our world has

suddenly changed even though people tell me my son is still the same person. I

am worried. I probably have the same questions you do/did.

>

> Parents of older AS. What does the road look like out there? Where do your

strength and hope come from? My son will start kindergarten next year and I feel

lost. We will request an IEP.

>

> 1. Are AS kids in classes with the general population? Is it effective?

> 2. What are the most important things I can do to help him live a productive

and happy life?

> 3. What is your coping mechanism?

>

> Lost and confused,

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In response to your questions:

1. Yes, many as kids are integrated into gen. ed. classrooms. A co-teaching model would be the most effective otherwise the gen ed teacher will be teaching your child with little to no training with a spec. ed. teacher pushing in on occasion.

2. Find a veteran mom to help you through the IEP process. A well written IEP is one of the most effective ways to help your child at school. When he's with you, you should have an understanding of how to deal with his meltdowns and issues. Read: The Explosive Child and Lost at School, by Ross Greene. Others will hopefully offer an array of books on asperger's, but these books will help you with home and school in ways that you will forever be grateful.

3. I didn't find the parent groups very helpful (the irl ones sadly--the online ones have been great) Many parents try to work in harmony with the system and depending on where you live, you may have the fight of your life on your hands. Where do you live, btw, that will determine alot. Some parents will be the type to tell you to bake cookies and bring lemonade to your IEP meeting, but I find that while being nice will help you get along with teachers, many IEP meetings are riddled with conflict and staff is not there to try to befriend you. You are advocating for your child and most times the school is advocating for their teachers to do the least amount of work possible to help a special needs child. 

Get a physical outlet: walk, play tennis, start running. DO SOMETHING PHYSICAL. You will inevitably reach a peak level of stress that can truly break you. Find what works for you and do it on a regular basis. I go to the gym 6 days a week. On rough weeks, I go 7 and it works. Sometimes I squeeze it in at night other times I go early before the kids wake up. 

 My four year old son was recently diagnosed with Aspergers. Our world has suddenly changed even though people tell me my son is still the same person. I am worried. I probably have the same questions you do/did.

> > Parents of older AS. What does the road look like out there? Where do your strength and hope come from? My son will start kindergarten next year and I feel lost. We will request an IEP.

> > 1. Are AS kids in classes with the general population? Is it effective?

> 2. What are the most important things I can do to help him live a productive and happy life?

> 3. What is your coping mechanism? > 

> Lost and confused,> 

> >

[Guest guest]

Let me agree strongly with ! From: susanne hansen <s_hansen34@...> Sent: Sat, November 6, 2010 9:37:18 PMSubject: Re: ( ) advice for new AS parents

I agree with Sandee. It is really tough, but it depends on how sever your son is and also what the school district is like in your area. So far we've not been anywhere that we didn't have issues with the school. My son is now 13 and things have gotten ten time worse with the school since he started middle school. I think they are trying to get us so frustrated that we take him out of school that way they are off the hook.

My son was never that agressive when he was younger, and his behavior in school over the years have gotten worse. I attribute some of this to him being a teenager now, but from things that are done and how he is treated more of it is the schools.

My main advice to you would be is to get your son as many services and therapies now while he is still so young. This will benefit him in the future. Also, DO NOT take for granted that the school has your son's best interest at heart. While there will be teachers and school administrators that WILL care and help your son, there will be many more that don't and won't. Keep good records, document everything, know how to read and understand your son's test scores and what they mean. This will help you determine if he is making progress.

AS kids can be in regular classes with proper supports as well as in inclusion classrooms. But my experiences has been that most teachers, even special ed teachers have absolutley no experience with AS kids have no clue what to do which only makes things worse.

Yes, your son can have a happy life but it will take a lot of hard work on your part as the parent.

I also recommend taking a workshop in special education law and how to advocate for your son. Because unless you're in a distric that is an exception to the norm, you are going to need it. I wish I had gotten myself more informed sooner. Check out www.wrightslaw.com. this site is excellent and has an abundant amount of information to help you.

As for coping strategies, it depends on you. If you're a very strong women then venting in this type of forum or to family or friends might be enough. But I think I'm a pretty strong woman and I've already raised two kids (now 23 and 21) and I often feel like I can't take it another day. So make sure you have a good network of support in various forms, like a support group in your area, etc.

I'm sorry if I've painted a gloomy picture, but I wish all the time that someone had told me these things a lot sooner in my journey with my son's AS. Knowledge is power, so the more you have on AS and laws and your son's rights the better off you and he will be.

Take care and good luck. <<hugs>>

~ne

From: sandee C <irsandee@...>Subject: Re: ( ) advice for new AS parents Date: Saturday, November 6, 2010, 8:30 PM

I think the road is a tough one, but it depends on your child. Many people with Aspergers have gotten through school without being noticed, but schools have changed, and it seems that with this emphasis on everyone being the same, the AS students are overwhelmed and flushed out of public schools as the grade gets higher. An IEP is good IF they follow it and IF it covers what they need. Many AS students can't take the noise and the schools can't or won't accommodate that need. I have found it to be a disaster. But, maybe your son will be easier. They are not all alike. Just like the normal children are not all alike.

From: purple2hippo <jeta12333@...> Sent: Sat, November 6, 2010 5:51:23 PMSubject: ( ) advice for new AS parents

Hi,My four year old son was recently diagnosed with Aspergers. Our world has suddenly changed even though people tell me my son is still the same person. I am worried. I probably have the same questions you do/did.Parents of older AS. What does the road look like out there? Where do your strength and hope come from? My son will start kindergarten next year and I feel lost. We will request an IEP.1. Are AS kids in classes with the general population? Is it effective?2. What are the most important things I can do to help him live a productive and happy life?3. What is your coping mechanism? Lost and confused,

[Guest guest]

((())

As we say in the Navy.." It gets better shipmate!". lol..For us the hardest time was before she was dx'd as with AS. After we had answers everything started to fall into line. There were reasons behind her behavior and it wasn't just me being a horrible parent. lol. My coping mechanism is family, friends, crafts, and this board. Whatever behavior you think ." oh heavens, only my kid is the ONLY one doing this..."... NOPE, for everything that my Maddie has done in the past...I have come here and there has been a boatload of emails stating that exact same behavior and how it drives other parents up the wall. We went thru social skills classes for both her and me (my husband was deployed at the time). Medications, Aba therapy, IEP struggles, but the best advice I can ever give someone who is new to the spectrum is when you're brand new to it. Dive into Autism. Know it..inside and out. Get immersed into your childs behaviors. When Maddie was finally dx'd we were living in Hawaii. The absolute, hands down, WORST school district/state/area. I have never been told so much that my child was just sensitive. Even though she had a concrete dx! Knowing your rights as a parent and the spectrum is the key. After we went thru the hardest part I saw my daughter for the first time in years thru the Autism and that where my strength came from. She has her quirks and at times she makes me very nervous in social situations. I don't think that'll ever go away, but we handle it alright. It has it's ups and downs, but how you handle it is up to you! As I tell my daughter all the time...tell people I have autism..autism doesn't have me.

Mom to my 4 girls

Madeline, Cayla, Arabella, & Vincenza

"You are the TRIP I did not take

You are the PEARLS I cannot buy

You are the blue Italian LAKE

YOU are my piece of foreign SKY"

---Anne ----

( ) advice for new AS parents

Hi,

My four year old son was recently diagnosed with Aspergers. Our world has suddenly changed even though people tell me my son is still the same person. I am worried. I probably have the same questions you do/did.

Parents of older AS. What does the road look like out there? Where do your strength and hope come from? My son will start kindergarten next year and I feel lost. We will request an IEP.

1. Are AS kids in classes with the general population? Is it effective?

2. What are the most important things I can do to help him live a productive and happy life?

3. What is your coping mechanism?

Lost and confused,

[Guest guest]

, if you haven't requested the IEP evaluation yet, I recommend that you do so as soon as possible. Request the IEP evaluation in writing. Send a copy to the principal, guidance counselor and the child's teacher. Also include that you EXPECT to here from someone within 5 days. Always give them a deadline or it will sit on there desk and they will take their time getting back to you. They have to get back to you and start the ball rolling. We just went through all of this stuff. I wrote the letter at the very end of her kindergarten last year and they said that since there was only a month left of school, they would do it the next school year. The schools psychologist finally contacted me in October. I filled out the lovely tests and forms that we all know and love. The school also completed several tests of there own with

my daughter to confirm her diagnosis to see if indeed she had AS (I WAS LIKE COME ON NOW!) and of course they agreed that she did have AS. I felt like telling them I told you so. We just had our first parent/school team meeting this year to go over the test results and I'm meeting again next week with the school's Autistic teacher to go over her IEP. I also had her repeat kindergarten. I was so on the fence about it. The school wanted me to advance her to 1st grade but I knew that she wasn't academically ready. She went to summer school and that teacher reported that she was still behind a grade level in most of her learning. I was like please, you want her to go to 1st grade and she's a grade level in her learning, you can't go below kindergarten in school. School's they are only looking out for themselves and not the child. As I stated earlier that I was on the fence about holding her back but when someone at work asked me what were the

advantages of letting her advance I could only think of 1, she would still be with her friends. What an eye awakening. Needless to say she's repeating and I'm glad because she is academically learning more then she did last year. She has also matured more since last year.

With regards to some of your questions. All AS kids are different because they have different levels of AS. My daughter is on the mild spectrum of AS and she is in the general population of school. Jordan likes consistency and she has the same teacher as last year which has also helped. I used to think she was just immature for her age and hyper. I've had to really open up my eyes and look at her differently with regards of her behavior since she has been diagnosed. She also has ADHD and she takes medication for that, which helps. She doesn't like people bumping into her (she thinks they are pushing her and has a meltdown). I made a game out of it to expain the difference and now it works most of the time. By looking at what some of her problems are, I've tried to look at things her way and I've been able to work some things out. She'll repeat the same question over and over again.

Now, I've learned that if she keeps asking me I will make her repeat it and if she does then she'll stop aking.

Find out if there are any programs in your area. I went to our Base Service Unit and got her wrap around services which she goes to after school and they work on her social and behavior skills. We have our own psycologist that to to go. Mostly be patient, and boy that is asking a lot sometimes especially when they have a meltdown. Don't hurry them, make sure you give yourself plenty of time to do whatever it is. As for a coping mechanism, I don't know. I just guess I'm patient and it helps to talk about it.

Good luck with the school, stand your ground, because know one knows your child better than you do.

From: sandee C <irsandee@...>Subject: Re: ( ) advice for new AS parents Date: Saturday, November 6, 2010, 8:30 PM

I think the road is a tough one, but it depends on your child. Many people with Aspergers have gotten through school without being noticed, but schools have changed, and it seems that with this emphasis on everyone being the same, the AS students are overwhelmed and flushed out of public schools as the grade gets higher. An IEP is good IF they follow it and IF it covers what they need. Many AS students can't take the noise and the schools can't or won't accommodate that need. I have found it to be a disaster. But, maybe your son will be easier. They are not all alike. Just like the normal children are not all alike.

From: purple2hippo <jeta12333@...> Sent: Sat, November 6, 2010 5:51:23 PMSubject: ( ) advice for new AS parents

Hi,My four year old son was recently diagnosed with Aspergers. Our world has suddenly changed even though people tell me my son is still the same person. I am worried. I probably have the same questions you do/did.Parents of older AS. What does the road look like out there? Where do your strength and hope come from? My son will start kindergarten next year and I feel lost. We will request an IEP.1. Are AS kids in classes with the general population? Is it effective?2. What are the most important things I can do to help him live a productive and happy life?3. What is your coping mechanism? Lost and confused,

[Guest guest]

My son is 19 and in community college and doing very well these days. He was

able to get by in the public schools when he was younger, but things went

downhill fast starting in 7th grade. He was bullied and really disorganized, and

immature when compared to his peers. I could not get an IEP from the school from

Kindergarten until the start of 10th grade when he just refused to go to school

anymore. With the help of a lawyer we got the school district to agree to place

him in a private school for AS kids where he blossomed and healed.

If I had to do it all over again, I would have hired an adocate and lawyer from

the start when the district refused to provide him with services. And if I

didn't get the IEP I would have home schooled. It might have saved my son years

of suffering in school. He is doing well these days, but he is still damaged

from the teasing he got in middle school and high school - some of it from

teachers.

Looking back, I did a lot of things outside of school that helped my son. I

exposed him to a wide range of experiences, Scouts, different sports, travel,

art classes. I supported whatever interests he had and tried to use his

interests to learn about other things. So we went through phases on dinosaurs,

animals, bugs, sharks, planets, Pokeman, the Simpsons...He started Aikido in

first grade to help his coordination and helped him make friends, and still

practices martial arts now. We have lots of pets and so he learned early on how

to be gentle and to learn about feelings. We got him a trampoline when he was

small so he could burn off energy when he got frustrated with his homework. I

found a great day care for him and so he had friends at his day care who would

come to the birthday parties.

[Guest guest]

Beautifully written.....

And, it was good that you held her back...most Asperger children are behind in maturity by 2-6 years.....and it was better doing it now rather than later on. Plus, she will be more on their maturity level which I truly think will help her.

Jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: Ohmit <mohmit66@...> Sent: Mon, November 8, 2010 10:45:19 AMSubject: Re: ( ) advice for new AS parents

, if you haven't requested the IEP evaluation yet, I recommend that you do so as soon as possible. Request the IEP evaluation in writing. Send a copy to the principal, guidance counselor and the child's teacher. Also include that you EXPECT to here from someone within 5 days. Always give them a deadline or it will sit on there desk and they will take their time getting back to you. They have to get back to you and start the ball rolling. We just went through all of this stuff. I wrote the letter at the very end of her kindergarten last year and they said that since there was only a month left of school, they would do it the next school year. The schools psychologist finally contacted me in October. I filled out the lovely tests and forms that we all know and love. The school also completed several tests of there own with my daughter to confirm her diagnosis to see if indeed she had AS (I WAS LIKE COME ON NOW!)

and of course they agreed that she did have AS. I felt like telling them I told you so. We just had our first parent/school team meeting this year to go over the test results and I'm meeting again next week with the school's Autistic teacher to go over her IEP. I also had her repeat kindergarten. I was so on the fence about it. The school wanted me to advance her to 1st grade but I knew that she wasn't academically ready. She went to summer school and that teacher reported that she was still behind a grade level in most of her learning. I was like please, you want her to go to 1st grade and she's a grade level in her learning, you can't go below kindergarten in school. School's they are only looking out for themselves and not the child. As I stated earlier that I was on the fence about holding her back but when someone at work asked me what were the advantages of letting her advance I could only think of 1, she would still be with her friends. What an

eye awakening. Needless to say she's repeating and I'm glad because she is academically learning more then she did last year. She has also matured more since last year.

With regards to some of your questions. All AS kids are different because they have different levels of AS. My daughter is on the mild spectrum of AS and she is in the general population of school. Jordan likes consistency and she has the same teacher as last year which has also helped. I used to think she was just immature for her age and hyper. I've had to really open up my eyes and look at her differently with regards of her behavior since she has been diagnosed. She also has ADHD and she takes medication for that, which helps. She doesn't like people bumping into her (she thinks they are pushing her and has a meltdown). I made a game out of it to expain the difference and now it works most of the time. By looking at what some of her problems are, I've tried to look at things her way and I've been able to work some things out. She'll repeat the same question over and over again.

Now, I've learned that if she keeps asking me I will make her repeat it and if she does then she'll stop aking.

Find out if there are any programs in your area. I went to our Base Service Unit and got her wrap around services which she goes to after school and they work on her social and behavior skills. We have our own psycologist that to to go. Mostly be patient, and boy that is asking a lot sometimes especially when they have a meltdown. Don't hurry them, make sure you give yourself plenty of time to do whatever it is. As for a coping mechanism, I don't know. I just guess I'm patient and it helps to talk about it.

Good luck with the school, stand your ground, because know one knows your child better than you do.

From: sandee C <irsandee@...>Subject: Re: ( ) advice for new AS parents Date: Saturday, November 6, 2010, 8:30 PM

I think the road is a tough one, but it depends on your child. Many people with Aspergers have gotten through school without being noticed, but schools have changed, and it seems that with this emphasis on everyone being the same, the AS students are overwhelmed and flushed out of public schools as the grade gets higher. An IEP is good IF they follow it and IF it covers what they need. Many AS students can't take the noise and the schools can't or won't accommodate that need. I have found it to be a disaster. But, maybe your son will be easier. They are not all alike. Just like the normal children are not all alike.

From: purple2hippo <jeta12333@...> Sent: Sat, November 6, 2010 5:51:23 PMSubject: ( ) advice for new AS parents

Hi,My four year old son was recently diagnosed with Aspergers. Our world has suddenly changed even though people tell me my son is still the same person. I am worried. I probably have the same questions you do/did.Parents of older AS. What does the road look like out there? Where do your strength and hope come from? My son will start kindergarten next year and I feel lost. We will request an IEP.1. Are AS kids in classes with the general population? Is it effective?2. What are the most important things I can do to help him live a productive and happy life?3. What is your coping mechanism? Lost and confused,