Re: Re: Need help w/ 9 year old son and his anger

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Ways to calm down when feeling angry or when seeing a meltdown starting:1. Check in with yourself.2. Put hand on tummy.3. Out loud say "Calm down"4. Take deep breaths and imagine the big anger monster getting smaller5. Count Out loud6. RepeatFrom: Roxanna <MadIdeas@...> Sent: Sun, June 27, 2010 8:00:39 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: Need help w/ 9 year old son and his anger

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First, I would ask to see the written policy that states this is the only way an FBA is done. You should look up the actual IDEA law where it says something like....whenever the child's behavior impedes his learning or the learning of others....and it doesn't say only one specific behavior at a time nor does the law say you have to first define one specific behavior. Check out what you state law says regarding FBA as well, as it should be similar to the IDEA. I would ask to see this policy of theirs in writing. I bet it isn't in writing other than someone's idea of what "should" happen. But that doesn't make it consistent with the law. So I would push it from that end. Always get statements in writing.

***Help me here.***In our district, and at our school, for an FBA the team has to define a behavior they will observe. A specific behavior, not just a general observation of the child. They say that one or two incidents is not enough to warrant an FBA. How do you break through that mentality??

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Re: ( ) Re: Need help w/ 9 year old son and his anger

On Tue, Jun 22, 2010 at 9:51 PM, Pamela <susanonderko> wrote:

Some kids are so impulsive they can't manage emotions. They

go from 0 to 100 so quick. Some kids like this do so much better

in a school that has a slower pace and he has a chance to talk

through feelings. But that is hard to come by for many children.

You may ask for a Functional Behavioral Assessment to understand

what the triggers are for your son at school. I would ask for this in writing to the child study team before even if you think they

will reject it. This way if some incident happens you have it

in writing that this is tied to his AS. ***Help me here.***In our district, and at our school, for an FBA the team has to define a behavior they will observe. A specific behavior, not just a general observation of the child. They say that one or two incidents is not enough to warrant an FBA. How do you break through that mentality??

If you want him to take breaks and use break cards practice

at home. He's just gotten to the point where he is embarrased to stand out in front of his peers, so he won't use a card at school. Have him earns points toward some reasonable

price item and practice practice at home when he is not

too mad. Say to him when he is calm, lets practice

that you are mad, and ask me for a break. Tell him

he gets points for this when he practices and more

if he when he is mad he uses it at home. I like this and would like to have his teachers use this at school. You will

be shaping the behavior you want.

It took 2 months to shape open behavior like this for us.

It is a time consuming process, but I find if this is

your top priority it is worth it.

Pam

>

> Have you had any success in helping your child be able to identify that they

> are upset before it's too far gone? Is it a word a technique??? My son says

> he won't use a break card at school as he's already too mad and won't go up

> to show the teacher. As far as the emotion, do you know what i mean, the

> time when they first feel some twinge of anger--but way before a meltdown.

> How can I help my son identify that feeling inside him so that he can ask

> for help or a break? This is a major issue and I see the school failing

> miserably and wonder what I can suggest since they have zippo, nada,

> nothing, to offer my boy[?] This could be for home, but the problem is always

> at school. Any help deeeeeeeeeply appreciated[ ?]

>