Re: Need help with goal writing

May 31, 2010

Why can't they put in Child will meet daily with guidance counselor or case manager to review his day...and that the guidance counselor and/or c.m. can address his issues. Or why not have him meet with the school psychologist each week to talk ...

School need to develop a social skills class and self-esteem building workshops that really really work. Teachers should be talking to your child each day....

Jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

From: <doyourecycle@...> Sent: Mon, May 31, 2010 7:58:21 PMSubject: ( ) Need help with goal writing

My son has very negative perceptions of events that happen in his day to day life. He comes home and re-tells a lot of interactions that have a negative slant. Many days, he's not talkative and he doesn't share much. I'm not sure if the events are as bad as he claims or if he colors them that way. At home and at school are different, so hard to compare them. (home life is more fun for him) At school, he can have some good events happen in his day, but for the most part he'll fixate and only elaborate on the bad ones--however big or small. BUT, he does have the ability to talk about fun stuff, too. (Overall, my son would tell you he doesnt' like school. Doesnt' like homework, just wants to stay home and play on the computer.)How can a goal be written to address my son's negative inference/perception of events? The school wants to use this goal: Child will discuss perceptions of peer interaction with adult help.It's soooo lame and allows

the school to not really address the problem. Is there a way to address my son's negative take on situations in his day at school in a goal?

June 1, 2010

Sounds like my daughter! I have a behavior plan at home where

she has to earn points. She can earn points for rehearsing things

she likes about herself, her school and growing up. This is

a kind of cognitive behavioral approach. We work with a behaviorist

that coaches me weekly. For sure my daughter is very sensitive

and when she comes home she is tired and things seem gloomier.

It is like generalized anxiety disorder. Or perhaps is.

My daughter is on a low dose of zoloft (75mg) it has helped a lot

I don't want to increase it anymore because now she can talk about

these things without a meltdown. I certainly am not pushing

medication but I saw my daughter's mood lift almost immediately from being so

irritable.

In our behavior plan she has to earn purchases and priveleges. So on our weekend

camping she kept asking for things from the gift store.

Which I agreed to if she practiced thinking of things she liked

about herself etc. She said there is nothing good about me (she always says

that) or there is nothing good about school. I don't

torture her I help her think of lots of things (which she seems

relieved by). The school has her in 3 type of social

skill groups, 1:1, a small girls group and a mixed group.

This are helpful but don't improve the self esteem issues. She

has been to weekly therapy too. I also try to give her

compliments often without having to have her rehearse only.

I think this approach has helped us shape behaviors the most.

It has to be done often. My daughter anyway is too much

of a perfectionist. She notices the fine details too much

and misses the big picture. Many ASD kids have this trait.

There is alot more to this issue then what I described. Because

my daughter is missing a social perpective on her self and

how she fits into school. I try to press her to do things she

fears, like being in the talent show, and a dance recital.

This works in very supportive settings. The perspective has

to change to accept that she may not be the best at a lot of things

but she can enjoy being part of the group. This is a harder

perspective to shape I think for black and white thinkers,

that you can be proud of yourself for having courage to try things

that may be hard. I think this is very important to overcome

the AS child's desire to retreat and be self absorbed as a way to

cope with anxiety.

I think this takes

a supportive school for sure but lots of work at home too.

And not letting our kids retreat too much (some downtime

is important).

I think the school can be aware to praise participation and

not be critical in anyway. You can ask the teachers to

give lots of positive feedback daily and to you. And

when you child says neagtive things you can say " how about this and this " .

Pam

>

> My son has very negative perceptions of events that happen in his day to day

life. He comes home and re-tells a lot of interactions that have a negative

slant. Many days, he's not talkative and he doesn't share much. I'm not sure if

the events are as bad as he claims or if he colors them that way. At home and at

school are different, so hard to compare them. (home life is more fun for him)

At school, he can have some good events happen in his day, but for the most part

he'll fixate and only elaborate on the bad ones--however big or small. BUT, he

does have the ability to talk about fun stuff, too. (Overall, my son would tell

you he doesnt' like school. Doesnt' like homework, just wants to stay home and

play on the computer.)

>

> How can a goal be written to address my son's negative inference/perception of

events? The school wants to use this goal: Child will discuss perceptions of

peer interaction with adult help.

>

> It's soooo lame and allows the school to not really address the problem. Is

there a way to address my son's negative take on situations in his day at school

in a goal?

>

June 23, 2010

My ds has done this as well. It is really part of his having depression. the more depressed, the more everything he views is negative. first, we found meds that helped the depression. I also started pointing out when good things happened because he was often too depressed to acknowledge anything good! The problem was that it only really worked if I noted it out loud at the time it was happening. Then when he started complaining, I would repeat the good things. I was about to have him start making a notebook listing good and bad things when I guess the meds kicked into gear and he stopped doing it.

I think this is a complex problem. If your ds is not having a problem with depression, he obviously is having a problem with perception. Sometimes this can be a problem with "theory of mind", which you can write goals for. He can have therapy to address learning how other people feel in various situations. This can help him not always think the worst when things happen. I would add this to social skills. one thing that might help is to have someone help him think of one good and one bad thing each day to tell you about. Then that can be increased to 2 good things, 1 bad, etc. But even being able to tell your parent something you did at school is a goal worth having. They can jot it down on paper as well so you can prompt him at your end.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) Need help with goal writing

My son has very negative perceptions of events that happen in his day to day life. He comes home and re-tells a lot of interactions that have a negative slant. Many days, he's not talkative and he doesn't share much. I'm not sure if the events are as bad as he claims or if he colors them that way. At home and at school are different, so hard to compare them. (home life is more fun for him) At school, he can have some good events happen in his day, but for the most part he'll fixate and only elaborate on the bad ones--however big or small. BUT, he does have the ability to talk about fun stuff, too. (Overall, my son would tell you he doesnt' like school. Doesnt' like homework, just wants to stay home and play on the computer.)

How can a goal be written to address my son's negative inference/perception of events? The school wants to use this goal: Child will discuss perceptions of peer interaction with adult help.

It's soooo lame and allows the school to not really address the problem. Is there a way to address my son's negative take on situations in his day at school in a goal?

June 23, 2010

have you tried cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT?). A psychologist or other

therapist may be trained in this. is to correct negative thinking patterns.

Miranda

>

> My ds has done this as well. It is really part of his having depression.

the more depressed, the more everything he views is negative. first, we found

meds that helped the depression. I also started pointing out when good things

happened because he was often too depressed to acknowledge anything good! The

problem was that it only really worked if I noted it out loud at the time it was

happening. Then when he started complaining, I would repeat the good things.

I was about to have him start making a notebook listing good and bad things when

I guess the meds kicked into gear and he stopped doing it.

>

> I think this is a complex problem. If your ds is not having a problem with

depression, he obviously is having a problem with perception. Sometimes this

can be a problem with " theory of mind " , which you can write goals for. He can

have therapy to address learning how other people feel in various situations.

This can help him not always think the worst when things happen. I would add

this to social skills. one thing that might help is to have someone help him

think of one good and one bad thing each day to tell you about. Then that can

be increased to 2 good things, 1 bad, etc. But even being able to tell your

parent something you did at school is a goal worth having. They can jot it down

on paper as well so you can prompt him at your end.

>

> Roxanna

> Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

>

> ( ) Need help with goal writing