Re: Social Skills and Making Friends

March 29, 2011

I keep telling my son things will get better. That he will find the right person. He did but the kid moved and he's back in the same boat but he so badly wants a girlfriend. He grew for the first time over 8 inches this year, so it hurt him that he was short. I had to withdraw him from his military school that had become a joke and he was getting picked on. While we were on the new school office, he got all happy cause he was getting checked out! So many hurdles but the victories get sweeter.

From: GladysSent: Tuesday, March 29, 2011 4:51 PM Subject: ( ) Social Skills and Making Friends

Hello, everyone. It's been a while since I've posted, but I really need to post today...Yesterday was rough. My little 7-yr-old Aspie expressed sadness about not having any friends for the first time in his life. He'd even counted the days since he last had a friend (57 days). He wanted to know why he's so different, why he can't be like the other kids, and why no one wants to play with him... We listened, tried to give him advice, etc., but, after a little bit, he covered his head with his blanket and said, "I don't want to talk about this anymore. It's making my head hurt." I spent the night crying... Just letting it out... and now I'm reaching out to all of you... because I know I'm not alone and that there are others who have walked this valley before me.Does anyone on this list know of any resources, or is there someone who can direct me to social skills groups, play groups, etc. in the Broward County, FL area? He's so high-functioning that it's easy to "forget" at times that there's a lot going on inside him and that we have a long road ahead of us... It really does help to know we're not walking this road alone... Thanks in advance for your help.Gladys

March 30, 2011

That is so sad, but unfortunately we can relate. For the first 2 years our daughter went through the same thing. This year things seem to be good with her and the kids. I'm not sure why, but I'm glad. She did get in the car the other day and said none of the kids would play with her at recess so she had to play alone. I hate that so much because I can just imagine how she feels. I get worried that it will start back up again and the kids won't be so nice to her. In first grade she said the kids would try to trip her and when she was in kindergarten a little girl gave her a black eye. We almost pulled her out then, but hung in there.

I wish I could offer some advice, but we struggle too and its so hard. Breaks my heart.

~

In a message dated 3/29/2011 8:51:40 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, glad1@... writes:

Hello, everyone. It's been a while since I've posted, but I really need to post today...Yesterday was rough. My little 7-yr-old Aspie expressed sadness about not having any friends for the first time in his life. He'd even counted the days since he last had a friend (57 days). He wanted to know why he's so different, why he can't be like the other kids, and why no one wants to play with him... We listened, tried to give him advice, etc., but, after a little bit, he covered his head with his blanket and said, "I don't want to talk about this anymore. It's making my head hurt." I spent the night crying... Just letting it out... and now I'm reaching out to all of you... because I know I'm not alone and that there are others who have walked this valley before me.Does anyone on this list know of any resources, or is there someone who can direct me to social skills groups, play groups, etc. in the Broward County, FL area? He's so high-functioning that it's easy to "forget" at times that there's a lot going on inside him and that we have a long road ahead of us... It really does help to know we're not walking this road alone... Thanks in advance for your help.Gladys

March 30, 2011

I know how you feel too well. My boy is 13 and he still doesn't have a "friend". He was so excited that he finally was sitting in the cafeteria with a group of boys and then the bully that moved away came back and now he is sitting in that table.

So my son is sitting alone again. He doesn't talk about it. I can barely squeeze a few word out of him about "friends" and relationships at school. He keeps playing with a younger kid in our neighborhood when "he is aloud". It is difficult to see him so lonely.

Do you have a "in-home training person". Maybe they could match him with another child that is high functioning also.

Best of luck.

Ide

From: Tedrick <heather.tedrick@...> Sent: Wed, March 30, 2011 12:42:57 AMSubject: RE: ( ) Social Skills and Making Friends

I keep telling my son things will get better. That he will find the right person. He did but the kid moved and he's back in the same boat but he so badly wants a girlfriend. He grew for the first time over 8 inches this year, so it hurt him that he was short. I had to withdraw him from his military school that had become a joke and he was getting picked on. While we were on the new school office, he got all happy cause he was getting checked out! So many hurdles but the victories get sweeter.

From: GladysSent: Tuesday, March 29, 2011 4:51 PM Subject: ( ) Social Skills and Making Friends

Hello, everyone. It's been a while since I've posted, but I really need to post today...Yesterday was rough. My little 7-yr-old Aspie expressed sadness about not having any friends for the first time in his life. He'd even counted the days since he last had a friend (57 days). He wanted to know why he's so different, why he can't be like the other kids, and why no one wants to play with him... We listened, tried to give him advice, etc., but, after a little bit, he covered his head with his blanket and said, "I don't want to talk about this anymore. It's making my head hurt." I spent the night crying... Just letting it out... and now I'm reaching out to all of you... because I know I'm not alone and that there are others who have walked this valley before me.Does anyone on this list know of any resources, or is there someone who can direct me to social skills groups, play groups, etc. in the Broward County, FL area? He's so

high-functioning that it's easy to "forget" at times that there's a lot going on inside him and that we have a long road ahead of us... It really does help to know we're not walking this road alone... Thanks in advance for your help.Gladys

March 30, 2011

You're right, we are alot alike as parents-not wanting to see our kids hurt. I

don't have any resources for you but I wanted you to know that I understand. My

12 year old son is way more immature than his peers and it's terribly hard

knowing he plays by himself most of the time and that he does get picked on for

not being like other kids.

I had to finally accept last year that hes ok (supposedly) playing alone. He has

one friend. To him, anyone that talks to him is his " friend " .

You will get through this!! Good luck!! Heidi

>

> Hello, everyone. It's been a while since I've posted, but I really need to

post today...

>

> Yesterday was rough. My little 7-yr-old Aspie expressed sadness about not

having any friends for the first time in his life. He'd even counted the days

since he last had a friend (57 days). He wanted to know why he's so different,

why he can't be like the other kids, and why no one wants to play with him... We

listened, tried to give him advice, etc., but, after a little bit, he covered

his head with his blanket and said, " I don't want to talk about this anymore.

It's making my head hurt. " I spent the night crying... Just letting it out...

and now I'm reaching out to all of you... because I know I'm not alone and that

there are others who have walked this valley before me.

>

> Does anyone on this list know of any resources, or is there someone who can

direct me to social skills groups, play groups, etc. in the Broward County, FL

area?

>

> He's so high-functioning that it's easy to " forget " at times that there's a

lot going on inside him and that we have a long road ahead of us... It really

does help to know we're not walking this road alone... Thanks in advance for

your help.

>

> Gladys

>

March 31, 2011

My 9 yo ds is the same way....anyone who talks to him is a friend! I felt bad

yesterday cause he told me he was trying to " protect " another boy from a girl

who has. Crush on him (this is starting in 3rd grade, lol). Amnyway, he

proceeded to tell me how this kid never talks to him unless he talks to him 1st

and how he would really like him to talk to him. Makes me sad as I know this is

just the beginning of what's to come as they get older!

> >

> > Hello, everyone. It's been a while since I've posted, but I really need to

post today...

> >

> > Yesterday was rough. My little 7-yr-old Aspie expressed sadness about not

having any friends for the first time in his life. He'd even counted the days

since he last had a friend (57 days). He wanted to know why he's so different,

why he can't be like the other kids, and why no one wants to play with him... We

listened, tried to give him advice, etc., but, after a little bit, he covered

his head with his blanket and said, " I don't want to talk about this anymore.

It's making my head hurt. " I spent the night crying... Just letting it out...

and now I'm reaching out to all of you... because I know I'm not alone and that

there are others who have walked this valley before me.

> >

> > Does anyone on this list know of any resources, or is there someone who can

direct me to social skills groups, play groups, etc. in the Broward County, FL

area?

> >

> > He's so high-functioning that it's easy to " forget " at times that there's a

lot going on inside him and that we have a long road ahead of us... It really

does help to know we're not walking this road alone... Thanks in advance for

your help.

> >

> > Gladys

> >

>

March 31, 2011

Can you try to find a local club that has kids with same interest? We have been to lego building at the library, pokemon game day at the shop that sells cards, etc. Go to local autism forum and post email looking for kids that do video games or dungeons & dragons or whatever your kid likes.

Sometimes kids will click and they can arrange to see each other again...

My kids would rather be alone than be with another kid and have to do stuff my kids have no interest in. If someone wants to play what my kids want to play, great. Otherwise, no. So finding kids with same interest if very important.

Geneva

March 31, 2011

Oh Gladys,

I've been just were you're at with your little guy so many times with mine. Most of the time my son seems to just let it all roll off his shoulders, seems to not care too much when he spends day after day alone in his room with no friends and no interactions with peers except but those on his Xbox live. Then there are those days every so often that the damn breaks. He will all of a sudden cry over something seemingly trivial, then he will begin sobbing uncontrolably and saying how God should just end his life because it is so awful and no one cares about him except his family and he has no friends. He'll ask why he is so different and why can't he have friends. He will then start catostophasizing his future. He says he will never have friends, or be able to keep a job and he will be a loser and on and on. No matter what we say he will counter it with something negative, just crying like there is no tomorrow, laying on the floor and chewing on his

"blanky" and twisting the corners. He will do this until he is so tired he can't cry or talk anymore. That is the only thing that will stop him.

Then he'll go to bed and the next day it's as if it never happened. It is so hard to get into their heads sometimes. He knows he is different on one hand, but on the other he is in denial saying he doesn't have social skills issues. It is so heartbreaking and frustrating.

Although I would never do it in a million years, there are truly days that I just want to throw in the towel! ne

From: Gladys <glad1@...>Subject: ( ) Social Skills and Making Friends Date: Tuesday, March 29, 2011, 4:51 PM

Hello, everyone. It's been a while since I've posted, but I really need to post today...Yesterday was rough. My little 7-yr-old Aspie expressed sadness about not having any friends for the first time in his life. He'd even counted the days since he last had a friend (57 days). He wanted to know why he's so different, why he can't be like the other kids, and why no one wants to play with him... We listened, tried to give him advice, etc., but, after a little bit, he covered his head with his blanket and said, "I don't want to talk about this anymore. It's making my head hurt." I spent the night crying... Just letting it out... and now I'm reaching out to all of you... because I know I'm not alone and that there are others who have walked this valley before me.Does anyone on this list know of any resources, or is there someone who can direct me to social skills groups, play groups, etc. in the Broward County, FL area? He's so

high-functioning that it's easy to "forget" at times that there's a lot going on inside him and that we have a long road ahead of us... It really does help to know we're not walking this road alone... Thanks in advance for your help.Gladys

March 31, 2011

ne:

It is hard, but I know that we won't throw in the towel because our love for out

little one outweighs any circumstance, obstacle, or challenge they may face.

My son hasn't brought this up again, but it's on my heart. I just say a prayer

for him and all our kids each time that sadness starts to build inside me.

Hanging in there with you,

Gladys

>

> From: Gladys <glad1@...>

> Subject: ( ) Social Skills and Making Friends

>

> Date: Tuesday, March 29, 2011, 4:51 PM

>

> Â