Re: Fourth suspension this year!!

[Guest guest]

How smart our kids are ....they know how to get what they want!!!!

They know the system and make it work for them. Gotta luv 'em.

First...does your son have an IEP? Second...what did he exactly do in the class to distrupt it?

I want to know more details...what type of school? What state do you live in? etc. etc.

I am so glad you called the State...sounds like the school is wrong...and maybe with the state involved you might get some results.

Do you have an advocate????

I need to know more ...but I think you and your son can fight all this...and in my eyes this sounds totally ridiculous...like they just don't want to deal with him and/or don't know how...so suspend him. That is the easy way out. But your child has the Right to an education....

Jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: s_hansen34 <s_hansen34@...> Sent: Sun, November 28, 2010 11:17:25 PMSubject: ( ) Fourth suspension this year!!

We received notice from the school right before the holiday break that they were going to suspend my son again for the fourth time this year and the second time already since we requested a change of placement. He has been at his new school all of four weeks and this is his second suspension. This time because "for the third day in a row he has been sent to the office for being diruptive." My son has Aspergers and ADHD, he is in a behaviour support classroom with only four other boys and he gets suspended for being disruptive?? I don't get it. The school said "he needs consequenses", while I agree, not being in school is what he WANTS so how is that a consequence? I've told them this repeatedly that suspending him only reenforces the behavior. But do they listen to me? NO! I'm just the parent, what do I know, right? Well this time I've called the State Dept of Special Ed and the lady totally agreed with me. She said it sounded like the local

school district needed some "training" on how to work with ASD kids. I'm suppose to hear back from her next week. I wonder where this will go. Sorry I'm venting. Just can't seem go make any gains with this school district. All the while my son is not getting an education. SO frustrating!! ANyone have any words of wisdom for me? ne

[Guest guest]

you are doing the Right thing Mom for your

Son.

Schools need to change their ways to deal with

special needs kids.

and yes they need to be held accountable but

putting them out of school is

not the answer.

~~~~~~~~~~Theresa

[Guest guest]

A kid who doesn't respond well to consequences doesn't need more consequences, " to get it. " Yes, the school is clueless and they don't want to try to understand your kid. Classic case here of most school districts.

While I wouldn't suspect your child's school is trained, it could be helpful to your son's cause to formally request a functional behavior analysis FBA, so that his behavior can be associated and understood to be a direct link to his disability. Have you ever requested one? 

Did the DOE provide guidance to you on how to proceed? What did they tell you to do specifically? Also, why do you have to wait to hear back from her next week? Your kid is in crisis NOW!!!

We received notice from the school right before the holiday break that they were going to suspend my son again for the fourth time this year and the second time already since we requested a change of placement. He has been at his new school all of four weeks and this is his second suspension. This time because " for the third day in a row he has been sent to the office for being diruptive. "  

My son has Aspergers and ADHD, he is in a behaviour support classroom with only four other boys and he gets suspended for being disruptive?? I don't get it. The school said " he needs consequenses " , while I agree, not being in school is what he WANTS so how is that a consequence? I've told them this repeatedly that suspending him only reenforces the behavior. But do they listen to me? NO! I'm just the parent, what do I know, right? Well this time I've called the State Dept of Special Ed and the lady totally agreed with me. She said it sounded like the local school district needed some " training " on how to work with ASD kids. I'm suppose to hear back from her next week. I wonder where this will go. 

Sorry I'm venting. Just can't seem go make any gains with this school district. All the while my son is not getting an education. SO frustrating!! ANyone have any words of wisdom for me? 

[Guest guest]

You are on the right track! Excellent idea that you had

to get the you had to get the State involved.

The Yale Parent and Child Conduct Clinic works and trains

parents and school staff in how to manage behavior issues.

If you have the resources you can hire a behaviorist

to work with the teachers.

If you don't you can ask for a Functional Behavioral

Assessment (FBA) the school hires a behaviorist

to observe, report and train staff.

Last when he does stay home suspended, get him up and out

of the house to the library. Work on homework. No

TV or electronics until the school day is over. I know

how hard that is to accomplish though. Don't force it though.

If he won't go then the consequence is to stay in his room and rest.

I have had to turn the cable and internet off in the basement

to gain compliance at home more than a few times.

What is happening at school? My daughter is in a small special

needs school, some of the boys are disruptive and won't

sit down and work at all. They too are repeatedly sent to

academic support to work with the learning consultant

rather than stay in the classroom. A few kids I suspect

had bipolar were expelled for hitting other kids and swearing at them and the

teacher more than a few times.

I would want to know the details of the disruptive behavior.

Is your son being provoked? Or is he annoyed, one boy in my daughter's class

did not like that my daughter asked so many

questions and he called her names openly and said that

noone liked her. He had issues triggered by her talking.

I would describe this boy as having irritability.

You may consider seeing a psychiatrist if your son is

depressed, easily irritated, aggressive, anxious etc.

Many AS kids need their anxiety treated. Often in a low

dose depression and irritability can be treated. Anxiety

often needs higher doses of SSRI medications like zoloft.

We have dealt with so many of these issues, school, aggression,

outbursts. Having support for yourself is so critical.

Our therapist bills my session as family counseling to coach

me and help me with these issues.

I hope you can get some support,

Pam

>

> We received notice from the school right before the holiday break that they

were going to suspend my son again for the fourth time this year and the second

time already since we requested a change of placement. He has been at his new

school all of four weeks and this is his second suspension. This time because

" for the third day in a row he has been sent to the office for being diruptive. "

> My son has Aspergers and ADHD, he is in a behaviour support classroom with

only four other boys and he gets suspended for being disruptive?? I don't get

it. The school said " he needs consequenses " , while I agree, not being in school

is what he WANTS so how is that a consequence? I've told them this repeatedly

that suspending him only reenforces the behavior. But do they listen to me? NO!

I'm just the parent, what do I know, right? Well this time I've called the State

Dept of Special Ed and the lady totally agreed with me. She said it sounded like

the local school district needed some " training " on how to work with ASD kids.

I'm suppose to hear back from her next week. I wonder where this will go.

> Sorry I'm venting. Just can't seem go make any gains with this school

district. All the while my son is not getting an education. SO frustrating!!

ANyone have any words of wisdom for me?

> ne

>

[Guest guest]

Only that a similar thing happened to my 16 year old daughter when she returned to public school. However since she has an IEP and a diagnosis they whisked her out of the school and shipped her off to day school. It isn't much of an education but she isn't terrified and actually wants to go to school . A better option than having her needs ignored in high school. You are so right that suspension is not a consequence. My daughter was trying to get suspended so she could stay in the safety of home and not in the demanding, fast paced, no accommodation high school. I am glad they have to pay a big price for her school since they were not willing to make any accommodations and did not want to know what aspergers was all about. Clueless is a good way to describe them ... also, business people and CYA

experts. From: <doyourecycle@...> Sent: Mon, November 29, 2010 7:19:44 AMSubject: ( ) Re: Fourth suspension this year!!

A kid who doesn't respond well to consequences doesn't need more consequences, "to get it." Yes, the school is clueless and they don't want to try to understand your kid. Classic case here of most school districts.

While I wouldn't suspect your child's school is trained, it could be helpful to your son's cause to formally request a functional behavior analysis FBA, so that his behavior can be associated and understood to be a direct link to his disability. Have you ever requested one?

Did the DOE provide guidance to you on how to proceed? What did they tell you to do specifically? Also, why do you have to wait to hear back from her next week? Your kid is in crisis NOW!!!

We received notice from the school right before the holiday break that they were going to suspend my son again for the fourth time this year and the second time already since we requested a change of placement. He has been at his new school all of four weeks and this is his second suspension. This time because "for the third day in a row he has been sent to the office for being diruptive."

My son has Aspergers and ADHD, he is in a behaviour support classroom with only four other boys and he gets suspended for being disruptive?? I don't get it. The school said "he needs consequenses", while I agree, not being in school is what he WANTS so how is that a consequence? I've told them this repeatedly that suspending him only reenforces the behavior. But do they listen to me? NO! I'm just the parent, what do I know, right? Well this time I've called the State Dept of Special Ed and the lady totally agreed with me. She said it sounded like the local school district needed some "training" on how to work with ASD kids. I'm suppose to hear back from her next week. I wonder where this will go.

Sorry I'm venting. Just can't seem go make any gains with this school district. All the while my son is not getting an education. SO frustrating!! ANyone have any words of wisdom for me?

[Guest guest]

My son has been on an IEP since Kindergarden, he is 8th grade now. He started

the school year at a different school. We had issues with this school for the

last two years but we thought this year we would give them another try since

they were getting a new principle and a new school psychologist. We requested a

new FBA to develope a new BSP the second week of school. The BSP they put in

place was a joke, just like the one they did the year before. I knew it wasn't

going to work from the begining and I told them that. 80% of his behaviors are

avoidance behaviors. Removing him from class to sit in someone's office,

In-school-suspension or Out of school suspension is not going to work, but that

is all they ever did.

So when, by the end of Sept my son became suicidal, I had enough and requested a

change of placement. I was offered a BSP classroom at another school. While I

didn't think this was the ideal placement I figured it was better than the one

he was in.

When on his 8th day at the new school they wanted to suspend him already I asked

if his BSP was being implemented (which I knew it was not because I asked my son

questions). They claimed it was but then didn't even know his triggers when I

asked. So how could they be implementing it? I then asked for a new FBA and BSP

since the last one obviously wasn't working because it was developed at a

different school in a totally different environment, and it didn't even work

there which is why he was at the new school. Oh, they agreed and knodded their

heads but suspended him anyway. Then we had an IEP meeting on the 16th were we

drafted an emergency BSP until a new FBA is completed. My son's ABA therapist

went to the meeting with us because she observed our son in his classroom on two

separate occasions. (even though they would only let her in for an hour each

time) During the short times that she was there she observed on several

occasions where the teacher and the aid clearly argued with my son and literally

come down to his 13 year old Asperger/ADHD level.

This classroom is not specifically for special education kids or AS kids for

that matter. We didn't find this out until later. The four other boys in the

class at there for various reasons. There is one 6th grader, one 7th grader and

two other 8th graders. My son is sent to lunch with the 6th grader instead of

the other two 8th graders. When I asked why, I was told he had to earn

that...get this... " priveledge " . They use a program in this classroom called

" Circle of Courage " where the kids have to earn minimum points to advance to the

next level which affords them the " priviledge " to be more mainstreamed with

their same age peers.

Has anyone else heard of this program?

I told the IEP team that I was concerned with this program and that the point

system was too rigid because it doesn't take my son's diagnosis into

consideration. He is suppose to make his minimum points for 10 consecutive days

before he can move on to the next level. He is only averaging 2 days. At that

rate he will never get out of that classroom. I was told " oh, he can do it " . As

if I have no faith in my son. It's not that I don't have faith, it's that I know

his diagnosis and what it intels and am realistic.

Well since they won't listen to me, I'm wondering if they will listen to DOE.

The lady said she would contact the district on my behalf and I should be

hearing something in the next couple of days.

I also contacted my son's doctors, he has had two private pscyo-educational

evaluations and have asked that they once again provide letters for the school.

One doctor even asked if she could contact the AS Specialist at the State

special ed dept regarding my son's situation and I told her to go ahead.

As far as what exactly did he do to be disruptive, I'm not sure. They just said

he was calling some of the other kids retarded and being disruptive. In the past

though that usually means, figiting, tapping, being out of his seat without

permission, arguing with the teacher, etc. Basically, typically Asperger

behaviors.

We live in TN right now. My husband is in the military and we've been stationed

here for almost 3 and 1/2 years.

I have been working with an advocate since the end of last school year but once

I told the school, things got even worse.

I just don't know what else to do. I've read all the advice on wrightslaw etc on

how to negotiate with the school and how to establish a working relationship,

but they do not want to meet us in the middle.

I'm tired of being spoken to in their condesending tone of voices, and being

treated as if all our son's issues are a product of our " bad parenting " and not

the fact that he has a medically diagnosed disorder. I am most of all fed up

that my son has gotten so upset and stressed that he has stated that he just

wishes God would end his life. This is unacceptable!!!!!!

My son is not violent, he doesn't hit, kick, bite or scream. He agrues, he can

be irritating ahd frustrating, non-compliant, and rigid in his thinking, but he

does not deserve the treatment he is getting.

I don't get time to get on here and post often usually because some other crisis

has occured and I'm having to send e-mails, or make phone calls, Plus I work.

But I guess I've made up for it in this one e-mail. Sorry so long....I'm just

about at my wits end....

ne

>

> How smart our kids are ....they know how to get what they want!!!!

> They know the system and make it work for them.  Gotta luv 'em.

>

> First...does your son have an IEP? Second...what did he exactly do in the

class

> to distrupt it?

>

>

> I want to know more details...what type of school? What state do you live

in?

> etc. etc.

>

> I am so glad you called the State...sounds like the school is wrong...and

maybe

> with the state involved you might get some results. 

>

>

> Do you have an advocate???? 

>

> I need to know more ...but I think you and your son can fight all this...and

in

> my eyes this sounds totally ridiculous...like they just don't want to deal

with

> him and/or don't know how...so suspend him. That is the easy way out.  But

your

> child has the Right to an education....

>

> Jan

>  

> " In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity "     Albert Einstein

>  

> Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has

overcome

> to obtain that position

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

> From: s_hansen34 <s_hansen34@...>

>

> Sent: Sun, November 28, 2010 11:17:25 PM

> Subject: ( ) Fourth suspension this year!!

>

>  

> We received notice from the school right before the holiday break that they

were

> going to suspend my son again for the fourth time this year and the second

time

> already since we requested a change of placement. He has been at his new

school

> all of four weeks and this is his second suspension. This time because " for

the

> third day in a row he has been sent to the office for being diruptive. "

>

> My son has Aspergers and ADHD, he is in a behaviour support classroom with

only

> four other boys and he gets suspended for being disruptive?? I don't get it.

The

> school said " he needs consequenses " , while I agree, not being in school is

what

> he WANTS so how is that a consequence? I've told them this repeatedly that

> suspending him only reenforces the behavior. But do they listen to me? NO! I'm

> just the parent, what do I know, right? Well this time I've called the State

> Dept of Special Ed and the lady totally agreed with me. She said it sounded

like

> the local school district needed some " training " on how to work with ASD kids.

> I'm suppose to hear back from her next week. I wonder where this will go.

>

> Sorry I'm venting. Just can't seem go make any gains with this school

district.

> All the while my son is not getting an education. SO frustrating!! ANyone have

> any words of wisdom for me?

>

> ne

>

[Guest guest]

They've done an FBA on him at his last school and we requested a new one the last time his got suspended which they were currently working on when he got suspended this time. Their FBAs are a joke and so are their BSP. That is why they don't work. But they never listen to me.

The DOE said she would contact the district on my behalf and I should hear something in the next couple of days. She even said I had legitamate issues to want to request a due process or mediation. But I'd rather not go that route just yet. I just don't know right now. Trying to get my son's doctors involved again and see how that goes. But no matter what information I provide them on Aspergers or doctors evaluations, even their own tevaluation hey totally ignore and still do their own thing. ne

From: <doyourecycle@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Fourth suspension this year!! Date: Monday, November 29, 2010, 7:19 AM

A kid who doesn't respond well to consequences doesn't need more consequences, "to get it." Yes, the school is clueless and they don't want to try to understand your kid. Classic case here of most school districts.

While I wouldn't suspect your child's school is trained, it could be helpful to your son's cause to formally request a functional behavior analysis FBA, so that his behavior can be associated and understood to be a direct link to his disability. Have you ever requested one?

Did the DOE provide guidance to you on how to proceed? What did they tell you to do specifically? Also, why do you have to wait to hear back from her next week? Your kid is in crisis NOW!!!

We received notice from the school right before the holiday break that they were going to suspend my son again for the fourth time this year and the second time already since we requested a change of placement. He has been at his new school all of four weeks and this is his second suspension. This time because "for the third day in a row he has been sent to the office for being diruptive." My son has Aspergers and ADHD, he is in a behaviour support classroom with only four other boys and he gets suspended for being disruptive?? I don't get it. The school said "he needs consequenses", while I agree, not being in school is what he WANTS so how is that a consequence? I've told them this repeatedly that suspending him only reenforces the behavior. But do they listen to me? NO! I'm just the parent, what do I know, right?

Well this time I've called the State Dept of Special Ed and the lady totally agreed with me. She said it sounded like the local school district needed some "training" on how to work with ASD kids. I'm suppose to hear back from her next week. I wonder where this will go. Sorry I'm venting. Just can't seem go make any gains with this school district. All the while my son is not getting an education. SO frustrating!! ANyone have any words of wisdom for me?

[Guest guest]

The school seems like it is not going to help much.

Are there charter schools that may work out. Often charter

schools are smaller.

I am so sorry to hear he is depressed. My daughter got to that

point to and just refused to go to school at all. She also argued

back at teachers in public school and they escalated her often.

She is much better in a small school for kids with LDs.

She is not as avoidant as she once was about school.

I don't ever suggest home online courses but if there was

a family willing to include him in their home school day

he may do well in that. The parent's would have to be very disciplined

in their approach to gain his cooperation.

He is nearly old enough for high school, are there vocational

schools available that he may enjoy the topics of study?

Is he on any medication?

Pam

Psm

> >

> > How smart our kids are ....they know how to get what they want!!!!

> > They know the system and make it work for them.  Gotta luv 'em.

> >

> > First...does your son have an IEP? Second...what did he exactly do in the

class

> > to distrupt it?

> >

> >

> > I want to know more details...what type of school? What state do you live

in?

> > etc. etc.

> >

> > I am so glad you called the State...sounds like the school is wrong...and

maybe

> > with the state involved you might get some results. 

> >

> >

> > Do you have an advocate???? 

> >

> > I need to know more ...but I think you and your son can fight all

this...and in

> > my eyes this sounds totally ridiculous...like they just don't want to deal

with

> > him and/or don't know how...so suspend him. That is the easy way out.  But

your

> > child has the Right to an education....

> >

> > Jan

> >  

> > " In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity "     Albert Einstein

> >  

> > Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has

overcome

> > to obtain that position

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ________________________________

> > From: s_hansen34 <s_hansen34@>

> >

> > Sent: Sun, November 28, 2010 11:17:25 PM

> > Subject: ( ) Fourth suspension this year!!

> >

> >  

> > We received notice from the school right before the holiday break that they

were

> > going to suspend my son again for the fourth time this year and the second

time

> > already since we requested a change of placement. He has been at his new

school

> > all of four weeks and this is his second suspension. This time because " for

the

> > third day in a row he has been sent to the office for being diruptive. "

> >

> > My son has Aspergers and ADHD, he is in a behaviour support classroom with

only

> > four other boys and he gets suspended for being disruptive?? I don't get it.

The

> > school said " he needs consequenses " , while I agree, not being in school is

what

> > he WANTS so how is that a consequence? I've told them this repeatedly that

> > suspending him only reenforces the behavior. But do they listen to me? NO!

I'm

> > just the parent, what do I know, right? Well this time I've called the State

> > Dept of Special Ed and the lady totally agreed with me. She said it sounded

like

> > the local school district needed some " training " on how to work with ASD

kids.

> > I'm suppose to hear back from her next week. I wonder where this will go.

> >

> > Sorry I'm venting. Just can't seem go make any gains with this school

district.

> > All the while my son is not getting an education. SO frustrating!! ANyone

have

> > any words of wisdom for me?

> >

> > ne

> >

>