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Re: re: rude all the time

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I don't know how old your child is, but I don't even really focus on trying to get my 6 year old to understand how I'm feeling when she is rude or speaks in a rude way. I either teach her not to be rude via consequences (the opposite happens that she wants, etc, or I teach her how not to speak like she's being rude if she does that. I usually say 'excuse me?' and give her another chance at saying it correctly. I calmly / unemotionally tell her that she is not speaking in a nice way and she should try it again. Sometimes it takes a few tries... I might say " quieter " or " calmly " or " ask me with a 'can you' instead of telling me to do something, " etc. This requirement of repeatedly trying to get it right I'm sure is quite annoying and just helps her want to get it right the first time next time.

Hope that helps a bit? in NY6yo Aspie girlOn Sat, Feb 19, 2011 at 8:14 PM, Tammy Phelps <phelpstammy@...> wrote:

 

I have been having a horrible time with the same thing - every response

is rude or in 'the voice' thus appears rude even when it isn't meant (so

my partner keeps telling me!).

I am frustrated by consistent apologies - in terms of she knows to say

sorry and if I say how come she says for making you upset. I consistently

respond thanks etc and explain that I would like her to think about

why i am upset - i.e., rudeness and / or defience...

How can I teach this??!!...

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My son's ABA therapist is starting a new technique by videotaping my son so he can see what others see. He has a lot of issues with his "tone" like you said. And when we tell him to watch his tone he often doesn't know what we are talking about or should I say his perception of how he said something is different. So we are working on his tone which is often rude or disrespectful. Maybe you could try video taping your son and then playing it back for him to see. Not sure if that would work at your son's age. ne

From: Tammy Phelps <phelpstammy@...>Subject: ( ) re: rude all the time Date: Saturday, February 19, 2011, 8:14 PM

I have been having a horrible time with the same thing - every responseis rude or in 'the voice' thus appears rude even when it isn't meant (somy partner keeps telling me!).I am frustrated by consistent apologies - in terms of she knows to saysorry and if I say how come she says for making you upset. I consistentlyrespond thanks etc and explain that I would like her to think aboutwhy i am upset - i.e., rudeness and / or defience...How can I teach this??!!...

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Thanks for this info! I'm going to try it with my daughter definitely! She is young but maybe it will help her.6yo Aspie girlOn Sun, Feb 20, 2011 at 3:23 PM, susanne hansen <s_hansen34@...> wrote:

 

My son's ABA therapist is starting a new technique by videotaping my son so he can see what others see. He has a lot of issues with his " tone " like you said. And when we tell him to watch his tone he often doesn't know what we are talking about or should I say his perception of how he said something is different. So we are working on his tone which is often rude or disrespectful. Maybe you could try video taping your son and then playing it back for him to see. Not sure if that would work at your son's age.

ne

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