Re: Thank you & Violent Behavior

[Guest guest]

Asleigh....I think you hit the nail on the head....you said he is not eating at school...kids are teasing him....he didn't get his way....he is fustrated and angry and doesn't know how to deal with it and you are getting the blunt end of it. My son got angry too...not as extreme...but he did throw things in his room and break them. One time he was so mad about not getting his way...he took his IPOD and threw it on the floor and stomped on it. Oh, well I said no more IPOD and I am not buying another. But I said that later. Usually when he has his fits ..he is at home...and I tell him to go to his room and when he is calm ...he can come out. He would go in there and rant and rave. My rule was no throwing...if he threw his stuff he lost it. I don't know how old your son is...mine will be 14 in Oct. As he has

matured ...and we are standing firm...he has less and less meltdowns. Right now he has "teen" attitude...he doesn't want to answer questions or be bothered. I think he is more extreme than most teens....I also think he doesn't want us talking to him when he is with his friends...he is so afraid we will embarrass him...

I have also put my son on medicine for the anger...and it has helped quite a bit.

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: Ashleigh Crane <ashleighcrane@...>Subject: ( ) Thank you & Violent Behavior Date: Saturday, September 5, 2009, 2:52 PM

I am so thankful for this group. I wish I had more advice to offer rather than always posting questions, but maybe in some odd way knowing that we are all dealing with similar issues brings comfort somehow. I apologize for asking about the posts. I didn't realize this board was moderated. What a job for the moderators.. .thank you for all you do!

I am really concerned about my son. He has always been quick to anger and occasionally aggressive, but in the past 3 months or so this behavior has become more regular and more extreme. The reaction he has to a situation is overly exaggerated and is commonly without warning. Its so hard to describe this. It is hard to tell what he will be able to handle, and what will turn in to WW3 with him. When I say he is aggressive, I don't mean he just hits someone and walks away. Outside of school, he usually begins by hitting me and then it turns into a *free-for-all* meaning he hits anyone or anything in his path. Of course I don't condone this behavior whatsoever. I get on his level to make as much eye contact as I can w/him, tell him *no hitting* *you cannot hit me* *use your words* and try to help him label

how he is feeling. I have an area set up for him when he is over stimulated where he can sit with his bear, draw, or blow bubbles to calm down. He wants NO part of it. He gets a rise out of running through the house throwing things at me, at the walls, at the ceiling. He doesn't care what he throws either. A penny, a shoe, a barstool, a can of Sprite, anything he can grab becomes airborne. I stay as calm as possible, don't yell (though I am yelling inside!!!), and don't chase him around the house. Unless you have seen these fits, it is hard to describe. It is like he is possessed.

They don't happen only at home. The first big public one happened yesterday at Walgreens. He wanted a battery he found on the ground that was obviously leaking. I said *no, that is dangerous* and asked him to put it in the trash while telling him about battery acid, etc. As I was getting my prescription, he just punched me right in the face!!! He started hitting me, and I quickly got a hold of his arms and firmly said *we don't hit!!* Grabbed the script, the drinks we had been drinking in the store and headed to the check out to pay for them. Before we left the pharmacy, I told him why we weren't getting the rest of the stuff, which he wasn't concerned with. He had picked out a toy to buy with his own money...well, he wasn't about to get that privilege. I left the cart where it was, but he grabbed it and took of running with it. At the checkout, he was

screaming and yelling. I paid for the drinks and started to leave. He tried to take the toy w/him, and refused to leave until he paid for it. I gave it to the cashier, told him we would not be getting it, and I expected him to walk to the car with me. 10 minutes later...he heads to the car with me. We struggled for that long to get out the door. He is too heavy for me to pick up, and he dug those heels in. Got out to the car, & he climbed in the drivers seat. When he is angry, he is stronger than usual and faster than usual. He *wasn't moving* in his mind. So, I shut the door (had the keys) for a minute. He climbed in his seat and went nuts kicking my seat, yelling, etc. It all continued when we got home, until finally I had enough. I told him it was time to turn his day around and redirected him into drawing to take his mind off of his anger. He will keep going and

going and going.

I don't know what to do in these situations!! ! Therapists say *have him blow bubbles* to calm him before it gets to that point. What she doesn't understand is he goes from the initial upset to rage in about 30 seconds!! He threw the bubbles in my face last time I tried that. I am at my wits end. I just don't know how to help my son.

I have figured out a few things I think may be triggering the afternoon fits. He told me last night he hasn't been eating lunch at school at all! So other than breakfast he doesn't eat until his after school snack. He usually chooses to play during the morning snack at school, and they don't have an afternoon one. I also found a number of pills that he didn't take or dropped. Usually I give him the AM meds, but the PM meds I let him take. No more! Also, he's been talking about being teased at school. So, I see a few possible issues. But...what in the world do I do with him when he is soooo violent??

I realize I sound like I cant control my own son, but they are baffling to me. I am open to advice...I really am.

thanks,

Ashleigh

____________ _________ __~Ashleigh~

"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seuss

www.picturetrail. com/ashleigh1976

[Guest guest]

My son used to be pretty extreme and I know that feeling of not being able to

" control my own kid " . I really do. I remember people glaring at me.

One thing I did was to really think about the battles I fight. I found that

saying " no " would set it off. I found different ways of saying, " no " . Like,

" Well I don't want to pick up that battery because it might hurt us but I can

get you one in the store that you can examine. " or " Let me pick it up with this

piece of paper and you can look at it and hold it in the paper for 30 seconds

but then we need to throw it away. " I'm not sure if that makes sense. Unless

something was dangerous like " lose a limb " dangerous or likely to hurt someone

else physically or emotionally I tried not to fight it too much. My own anxiety

played a role so climbing up on high rocks or walking on a wall tends to set off

my own anxieties. We had a LOT of terrible tantrums over balloons. My son

loved balloons, he still likes them, but he always would try to chew on them and

my terror at the thought of him choking on a piece was completely overwhelming.

I still feel overwhelmed when I see a kid with a balloon. I avoid those

situations completely. Balloons are the worst choking hazard because once it's

happening there isn't ANYTHING anyone can do and the kid dies and that it.

Balloons totally freak me out. Anyway, at some point we slowly allowed to

have balloons with lots of supervision and it was the most difficult thing for

me EVER. Once my husband let him have a balloon in the car and by the time they

got home he'd nearly chewed a piece off of the stem. I wanted to POUND my

husband. I made a rule that balloons could NOT be in the car. We put them in

the trunk. If they were forgotten, so much the better. So, that was a battle I

fought and I hated it. I learned to ignore what other people thought. I got

tough and I used my sense of humor to deal with it sometimes. Once threw

the most horrific tantrum at toys r us because at age 6 he wanted a paintball

gun. I told him it said ages 10+ and that we couldn't get it. He just went

NUTS running around screaming. I caught him and picked him up in a hold I

developed to keep both of us safe. He faced away from me and I'd have one arm

across his chest and the other between his legs so my hand rested on his stomach

and I'd pick him up that way. He couldn't kick me or bite me that way but he

could still grab my hair if I didn't keep my head back far enough. Anyway, he

was going insane and all these people were giving me nasty looks and somehow I

saw the humor of it. How pathetic their lives must be that they can work up

anger at someone else when their kid is having a tantrum. I held my head up

proudly and I smiled as I walked toward the door then stuck my tongue out at

them all. Very mature, yes. But, I was mature where it really counted. I

didn't harm my kid or let him harm me or anyone or anything else and I took him

to the car where he continued to scream for a short while. Then he was over it.

I SO feel your pain. I really do. You're doing a great job so don't be hard on

yourself at all. Other people will try to do that for you anyway. Our kids

have zero tolerance for frustration. They need to slowly develop this ability

and it takes them much longer than most other people. My husband still hasn't

completely got the hang of that. He doesn't get over one frustration before the

next starts and in a short time he's shouting. Fortunately, most of his

frustration is over machines that don't work as well as he believes they should.

My son has developed much more tolerance for frustration. MUCH MORE. He's more

tolerant of it than his dad. He is 12 years old now and there are no more

tantrums. He still gets angry and will hit sometimes though he hasn't done that

in school for quite a while. It gets better.

There's a book I really like that has practical suggestions for dealing with

these situations. It is not an asperger book just a book for kids who are more

challenging than most. It's called Raising Your Spirited Child. It's a small,

fairly inexpensive, easy read book. You can probably get it at the library. It

explains how to prevent the tantrum so you don't have to deal with it once it's

started. This book was so useful to us. My son's school last year even had a

copy. He's moved on to middle school now. Anyway, it might give you some ideas

on how to make the tantrums less frequent.

Miriam

>

> I am so thankful for this group. I wish I had more advice to offer rather

than always posting questions, but maybe in some odd way knowing that we are all

dealing with similar issues brings comfort somehow. I apologize for asking

about the posts. I didn't realize this board was moderated. What a job for the

moderators...thank you for all you do!

>

> I am really concerned about my son. He has always been quick to anger and

occasionally aggressive, but in the past 3 months or so this behavior has become

more regular and more extreme. The reaction he has to a situation is overly

exaggerated and is commonly without warning. Its so hard to describe this. It

is hard to tell what he will be able to handle, and what will turn in to WW3

with him. When I say he is aggressive, I don't mean he just hits someone and

walks away. Outside of school, he usually begins by hitting me and then it

turns into a *free-for-all* meaning he hits anyone or anything in his path. Of

course I don't condone this behavior whatsoever. I get on his level to make as

much eye contact as I can w/him, tell him *no hitting* *you cannot hit me* *use

your words* and try to help him label how he is feeling. I have an area set up

for him when he is over stimulated where he can sit with his bear, draw, or blow

bubbles to calm down. He wants NO part of it. He gets a rise out of running

through the house throwing things at me, at the walls, at the ceiling. He

doesn't care what he throws either. A penny, a shoe, a barstool, a can of

Sprite, anything he can grab becomes airborne. I stay as calm as possible,

don't yell (though I am yelling inside!!!), and don't chase him around the

house. Unless you have seen these fits, it is hard to describe. It is like he

is possessed.

>

> They don't happen only at home. The first big public one happened yesterday

at Walgreens. He wanted a battery he found on the ground that was obviously

leaking. I said *no, that is dangerous* and asked him to put it in the trash

while telling him about battery acid, etc. As I was getting my prescription, he

just punched me right in the face!!! He started hitting me, and I quickly got a

hold of his arms and firmly said *we don't hit!!* Grabbed the script, the drinks

we had been drinking in the store and headed to the check out to pay for them.

Before we left the pharmacy, I told him why we weren't getting the rest of the

stuff, which he wasn't concerned with. He had picked out a toy to buy with his

own money...well, he wasn't about to get that privilege. I left the cart where

it was, but he grabbed it and took of running with it. At the checkout, he was

screaming and yelling. I paid for the drinks and started to leave. He tried to

take the toy w/him, and refused to leave until he paid for it. I gave it to the

cashier, told him we would not be getting it, and I expected him to walk to the

car with me. 10 minutes later...he heads to the car with me. We struggled for

that long to get out the door. He is too heavy for me to pick up, and he dug

those heels in. Got out to the car, & he climbed in the drivers seat. When he

is angry, he is stronger than usual and faster than usual. He *wasn't moving*

in his mind. So, I shut the door (had the keys) for a minute. He climbed in

his seat and went nuts kicking my seat, yelling, etc. It all continued when we

got home, until finally I had enough. I told him it was time to turn his day

around and redirected him into drawing to take his mind off of his anger. He

will keep going and going and going.

>

> I don't know what to do in these situations!!! Therapists say *have him blow

bubbles* to calm him before it gets to that point. What she doesn't understand

is he goes from the initial upset to rage in about 30 seconds!! He threw the

bubbles in my face last time I tried that. I am at my wits end. I just don't

know how to help my son.

>

> I have figured out a few things I think may be triggering the afternoon fits.

He told me last night he hasn't been eating lunch at school at all! So other

than breakfast he doesn't eat until his after school snack. He usually chooses

to play during the morning snack at school, and they don't have an afternoon

one. I also found a number of pills that he didn't take or dropped. Usually I

give him the AM meds, but the PM meds I let him take. No more! Also, he's been

talking about being teased at school. So, I see a few possible issues.

But...what in the world do I do with him when he is soooo violent??

>

> I realize I sound like I cant control my own son, but they are baffling to me.

I am open to advice...I really am.

>

> thanks,

> Ashleigh

>

>

> _______________________

> ~Ashleigh~

>

> " So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,

> Depending how far beyond Zebra you go! " ~Dr. Seuss

>

> www.picturetrail.com/ashleigh1976

>

[Guest guest]

How old is your son? Mine is 7 and sounds alot like your son. He is quick to

anger and throws anything in his way, hits and kicks and screams awful words at

us. I have talked to countless therapist and am at my wits end too. They tell me

to use positive affirmation and low tones as you described. To not get

emotional. It is so hard when they are acting so horrible. My son is on

Risperdal now chanaged from Abilify which he was on for two years. We recently

stopped Celexa because I wondered if it was adding to his irritation. He has

also been like this for about three months. Summer was awful maybe because of

the unstructured days. I also notice if he wants to avoid doing something he

meltsdown, or if he wants something and we say no he meltsdown. His beautiful

room is now all marked up on the walls. He has broken pictures and put holes in

the walls in my house. He is really worse tempered now. I told him he would not

be talking to me like that anymore, he was calling me stupid and refusing to

help do anything, wouldn't take his pill, didn't want to go with us for a

picnic. He broke a picture, threw his toys at the door and was calling me names.

I got the wooden spoon and spanked him on he bottom. Usually he gets worse with

spanking but for once he stopped and cooperated. He finally stopped and listened

to me and cleaned up. Does anyone else notice when the Risperdal wears off they

are really worse with rage?

>

> I am so thankful for this group. I wish I had more advice to offer rather

than always posting questions, but maybe in some odd way knowing that we are all

dealing with similar issues brings comfort somehow. I apologize for asking

about the posts. I didn't realize this board was moderated. What a job for the

moderators...thank you for all you do!

>

> I am really concerned about my son. He has always been quick to anger and

occasionally aggressive, but in the past 3 months or so this behavior has become

more regular and more extreme. The reaction he has to a situation is overly

exaggerated and is commonly without warning. Its so hard to describe this. It

is hard to tell what he will be able to handle, and what will turn in to WW3

with him. When I say he is aggressive, I don't mean he just hits someone and

walks away. Outside of school, he usually begins by hitting me and then it

turns into a *free-for-all* meaning he hits anyone or anything in his path. Of

course I don't condone this behavior whatsoever. I get on his level to make as

much eye contact as I can w/him, tell him *no hitting* *you cannot hit me* *use

your words* and try to help him label how he is feeling. I have an area set up

for him when he is over stimulated where he can sit with his bear, draw, or blow

bubbles to calm down. He wants NO part of it. He gets a rise out of running

through the house throwing things at me, at the walls, at the ceiling. He

doesn't care what he throws either. A penny, a shoe, a barstool, a can of

Sprite, anything he can grab becomes airborne. I stay as calm as possible,

don't yell (though I am yelling inside!!!), and don't chase him around the

house. Unless you have seen these fits, it is hard to describe. It is like he

is possessed.

>

> They don't happen only at home. The first big public one happened yesterday

at Walgreens. He wanted a battery he found on the ground that was obviously

leaking. I said *no, that is dangerous* and asked him to put it in the trash

while telling him about battery acid, etc. As I was getting my prescription, he

just punched me right in the face!!! He started hitting me, and I quickly got a

hold of his arms and firmly said *we don't hit!!* Grabbed the script, the drinks

we had been drinking in the store and headed to the check out to pay for them.

Before we left the pharmacy, I told him why we weren't getting the rest of the

stuff, which he wasn't concerned with. He had picked out a toy to buy with his

own money...well, he wasn't about to get that privilege. I left the cart where

it was, but he grabbed it and took of running with it. At the checkout, he was

screaming and yelling. I paid for the drinks and started to leave. He tried to

take the toy w/him, and refused to leave until he paid for it. I gave it to the

cashier, told him we would not be getting it, and I expected him to walk to the

car with me. 10 minutes later...he heads to the car with me. We struggled for

that long to get out the door. He is too heavy for me to pick up, and he dug

those heels in. Got out to the car, & he climbed in the drivers seat. When he

is angry, he is stronger than usual and faster than usual. He *wasn't moving*

in his mind. So, I shut the door (had the keys) for a minute. He climbed in

his seat and went nuts kicking my seat, yelling, etc. It all continued when we

got home, until finally I had enough. I told him it was time to turn his day

around and redirected him into drawing to take his mind off of his anger. He

will keep going and going and going.

>

> I don't know what to do in these situations!!! Therapists say *have him blow

bubbles* to calm him before it gets to that point. What she doesn't understand

is he goes from the initial upset to rage in about 30 seconds!! He threw the

bubbles in my face last time I tried that. I am at my wits end. I just don't

know how to help my son.

>

> I have figured out a few things I think may be triggering the afternoon fits.

He told me last night he hasn't been eating lunch at school at all! So other

than breakfast he doesn't eat until his after school snack. He usually chooses

to play during the morning snack at school, and they don't have an afternoon

one. I also found a number of pills that he didn't take or dropped. Usually I

give him the AM meds, but the PM meds I let him take. No more! Also, he's been

talking about being teased at school. So, I see a few possible issues.

But...what in the world do I do with him when he is soooo violent??

>

> I realize I sound like I cant control my own son, but they are baffling to me.

I am open to advice...I really am.

>

> thanks,

> Ashleigh

>

>

> _______________________

> ~Ashleigh~

>

> " So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,

> Depending how far beyond Zebra you go! " ~Dr. Seuss

>

> www.picturetrail.com/ashleigh1976

>

[Guest guest]

I agree, we found our son wasn't eating his packed lunch, regularly got teased, if we went to the shops on the way home he would flip if we wouldn't buy him some chocolate. Obvious to us now that he needed food. Now we tell him if he eats all his packed lunch it is ok to have some chocolate on the way home. We have also found that it is best, if he is having a tantrum it is best to just let him get on with it, as long as he isn't hurting anyone, asking him questions, restraining him, or trying to make eye contact with him just makes the situation more stressfull for him, and the "episode" lasts longer. We also give him space after school, an hour to do whatever he wants, this seems to calm him down.

Our kids are more inquisitive than others, so I let him investigate stuff as long as it isn't harmful, if he had asked about the battery I would have let him look at it then put it in the bin, easier and quicker than making an issue of it.

Bubbles??? You really want to chap their foreheads and ask what fluffy bunny world they live in, cause our lives arn't like that, there is not way bubbles would avert a tantrum.

Does he have a physical exercise that could help him let off steam rather than sitting and drawing, like kicking a ball, so he is able to work off his anger. Our son has a trampoline, ball, bike etc in the garden, so when we are home and I can see he, or I, am starting to get frustrated and goes outside, he is always much better after some exercise.

And other people, who cares about them, do what you need to make you and your family happy.

From: Ashleigh Crane <ashleighcrane@ charter.net>Subject: ( ) Thank you & Violent Behavior Date: Saturday, September 5, 2009, 2:52 PM

I am so thankful for this group. I wish I had more advice to offer rather than always posting questions, but maybe in some odd way knowing that we are all dealing with similar issues brings comfort somehow. I apologize for asking about the posts. I didn't realize this board was moderated. What a job for the moderators.. .thank you for all you do!

I am really concerned about my son. He has always been quick to anger and occasionally aggressive, but in the past 3 months or so this behavior has become more regular and more extreme. The reaction he has to a situation is overly exaggerated and is commonly without warning. Its so hard to describe this. It is hard to tell what he will be able to handle, and what will turn in to WW3 with him. When I say he is aggressive, I don't mean he just hits someone and walks away. Outside of school, he usually begins by hitting me and then it turns into a *free-for-all* meaning he hits anyone or anything in his path. Of course I don't condone this behavior whatsoever. I get on his level to make as much eye contact as I can w/him, tell him *no hitting* *you cannot hit me* *use your words* and try to help him label

how he is feeling. I have an area set up for him when he is over stimulated where he can sit with his bear, draw, or blow bubbles to calm down. He wants NO part of it. He gets a rise out of running through the house throwing things at me, at the walls, at the ceiling. He doesn't care what he throws either. A penny, a shoe, a barstool, a can of Sprite, anything he can grab becomes airborne. I stay as calm as possible, don't yell (though I am yelling inside!!!), and don't chase him around the house. Unless you have seen these fits, it is hard to describe. It is like he is possessed.

They don't happen only at home. The first big public one happened yesterday at Walgreens. He wanted a battery he found on the ground that was obviously leaking. I said *no, that is dangerous* and asked him to put it in the trash while telling him about battery acid, etc. As I was getting my prescription, he just punched me right in the face!!! He started hitting me, and I quickly got a hold of his arms and firmly said *we don't hit!!* Grabbed the script, the drinks we had been drinking in the store and headed to the check out to pay for them. Before we left the pharmacy, I told him why we weren't getting the rest of the stuff, which he wasn't concerned with. He had picked out a toy to buy with his own money...well, he wasn't about to get that privilege. I left the cart where it was, but he grabbed it and took of running with it. At the checkout, he was

screaming and yelling. I paid for the drinks and started to leave. He tried to take the toy w/him, and refused to leave until he paid for it. I gave it to the cashier, told him we would not be getting it, and I expected him to walk to the car with me. 10 minutes later...he heads to the car with me. We struggled for that long to get out the door. He is too heavy for me to pick up, and he dug those heels in. Got out to the car, & he climbed in the drivers seat. When he is angry, he is stronger than usual and faster than usual. He *wasn't moving* in his mind. So, I shut the door (had the keys) for a minute. He climbed in his seat and went nuts kicking my seat, yelling, etc. It all continued when we got home, until finally I had enough. I told him it was time to turn his day around and redirected him into drawing to take his mind off of his anger. He will keep going and

going and going.

I don't know what to do in these situations!! ! Therapists say *have him blow bubbles* to calm him before it gets to that point. What she doesn't understand is he goes from the initial upset to rage in about 30 seconds!! He threw the bubbles in my face last time I tried that. I am at my wits end. I just don't know how to help my son.

I have figured out a few things I think may be triggering the afternoon fits. He told me last night he hasn't been eating lunch at school at all! So other than breakfast he doesn't eat until his after school snack. He usually chooses to play during the morning snack at school, and they don't have an afternoon one. I also found a number of pills that he didn't take or dropped. Usually I give him the AM meds, but the PM meds I let him take. No more! Also, he's been talking about being teased at school. So, I see a few possible issues. But...what in the world do I do with him when he is soooo violent??

I realize I sound like I cant control my own son, but they are baffling to me. I am open to advice...I really am.

thanks,

Ashleigh

____________ _________ __~Ashleigh~

"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seuss

www.picturetrail. com/ashleigh1976

[Guest guest]

Oh wow! I hope he is still young. It is one thing for a 6 year

old to punch Mom and another for a 14 year old.

I am sure if you spoke with a neurologist on this they would

prescribe either zoloft or prozac if it seems anxiety triggered

or rispedal which is often prescribed in a low dose for AS kids

that act out.

The sooner the better, if he is the least bit oppostional about medication.

OK if you are opposed to medication and I hope you are not in a low

safe dose.

Pam

..

>

> I am so thankful for this group. I wish I had more advice to offer rather

than always posting questions, but maybe in some odd way knowing that we are all

dealing with similar issues brings comfort somehow. I apologize for asking

about the posts. I didn't realize this board was moderated. What a job for the

moderators...thank you for all you do!

>

> I am really concerned about my son. He has always been quick to anger and

occasionally aggressive, but in the past 3 months or so this behavior has become

more regular and more extreme. The reaction he has to a situation is overly

exaggerated and is commonly without warning. Its so hard to describe this. It

is hard to tell what he will be able to handle, and what will turn in to WW3

with him. When I say he is aggressive, I don't mean he just hits someone and

walks away. Outside of school, he usually begins by hitting me and then it

turns into a *free-for-all* meaning he hits anyone or anything in his path. Of

course I don't condone this behavior whatsoever. I get on his level to make as

much eye contact as I can w/him, tell him *no hitting* *you cannot hit me* *use

your words* and try to help him label how he is feeling. I have an area set up

for him when he is over stimulated where he can sit with his bear, draw, or blow

bubbles to calm down. He wants NO part of it. He gets a rise out of running

through the house throwing things at me, at the walls, at the ceiling. He

doesn't care what he throws either. A penny, a shoe, a barstool, a can of

Sprite, anything he can grab becomes airborne. I stay as calm as possible,

don't yell (though I am yelling inside!!!), and don't chase him around the

house. Unless you have seen these fits, it is hard to describe. It is like he

is possessed.

>

> They don't happen only at home. The first big public one happened yesterday

at Walgreens. He wanted a battery he found on the ground that was obviously

leaking. I said *no, that is dangerous* and asked him to put it in the trash

while telling him about battery acid, etc. As I was getting my prescription, he

just punched me right in the face!!! He started hitting me, and I quickly got a

hold of his arms and firmly said *we don't hit!!* Grabbed the script, the drinks

we had been drinking in the store and headed to the check out to pay for them.

Before we left the pharmacy, I told him why we weren't getting the rest of the

stuff, which he wasn't concerned with. He had picked out a toy to buy with his

own money...well, he wasn't about to get that privilege. I left the cart where

it was, but he grabbed it and took of running with it. At the checkout, he was

screaming and yelling. I paid for the drinks and started to leave. He tried to

take the toy w/him, and refused to leave until he paid for it. I gave it to the

cashier, told him we would not be getting it, and I expected him to walk to the

car with me. 10 minutes later...he heads to the car with me. We struggled for

that long to get out the door. He is too heavy for me to pick up, and he dug

those heels in. Got out to the car, & he climbed in the drivers seat. When he

is angry, he is stronger than usual and faster than usual. He *wasn't moving*

in his mind. So, I shut the door (had the keys) for a minute. He climbed in

his seat and went nuts kicking my seat, yelling, etc. It all continued when we

got home, until finally I had enough. I told him it was time to turn his day

around and redirected him into drawing to take his mind off of his anger. He

will keep going and going and going.

>

> I don't know what to do in these situations!!! Therapists say *have him blow

bubbles* to calm him before it gets to that point. What she doesn't understand

is he goes from the initial upset to rage in about 30 seconds!! He threw the

bubbles in my face last time I tried that. I am at my wits end. I just don't

know how to help my son.

>

> I have figured out a few things I think may be triggering the afternoon fits.

He told me last night he hasn't been eating lunch at school at all! So other

than breakfast he doesn't eat until his after school snack. He usually chooses

to play during the morning snack at school, and they don't have an afternoon

one. I also found a number of pills that he didn't take or dropped. Usually I

give him the AM meds, but the PM meds I let him take. No more! Also, he's been

talking about being teased at school. So, I see a few possible issues.

But...what in the world do I do with him when he is soooo violent??

>

> I realize I sound like I cant control my own son, but they are baffling to me.

I am open to advice...I really am.

>

> thanks,

> Ashleigh

>

>

> _______________________

> ~Ashleigh~

>

> " So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,

> Depending how far beyond Zebra you go! " ~Dr. Seuss

>

> www.picturetrail.com/ashleigh1976

>

[Guest guest]

I'm new to this group and have been lurking for a little while. But maybe my experiences can help. At least I can commiserate.

My son was very aggressive too. Sometimes it seemed absolutely random. Sometimes it was more than we could control. (We still haven't gotten the window frame fixed that he tore off during a rage.)

A lot of the advice others mentioned has helped us. And Jonah, now 11, is much more able to control his aggression. There are still setbacks, but we no longer have daily episodes.

Here are things that worked for us:

1. Adderal XR to improve impulse control. The nice thing about this drug is that you know right away if it will work for you. And it wears off in a day, so if it doesn't there isn't aren't lingering problems. Jonah also takes generic prozac for anxiety and depression.

2. The book "The Explosive Child" was extremely useful. I know other ASD parents to use this as a bible.

3. Don't force eye contact, especially at stressful times. Eye contact is even more stressful for people with ASD, and often they instinctively interpret it as aggression. When Jonah was younger, we also found that when he was getting working up, physical touch made it worse.

4. Another list member recommended choosing your battles and giving choices whenever possible. This is our motto too. In fact, his BSC teaches his teacher and aide to do this. So we now say "do you want to brush your teeth now or after you put your shoes on?"

Good luck. Reggi Levinreggi@...

From: Ashleigh Crane <ashleighcrane@...> Sent: Saturday, September 5, 2009 2:52:54 PMSubject: ( ) Thank you & Violent Behavior

I am so thankful for this group. I wish I had more advice to offer rather than always posting questions, but maybe in some odd way knowing that we are all dealing with similar issues brings comfort somehow. I apologize for asking about the posts. I didn't realize this board was moderated. What a job for the moderators.. .thank you for all you do!

I am really concerned about my son. He has always been quick to anger and occasionally aggressive, but in the past 3 months or so this behavior has become more regular and more extreme. The reaction he has to a situation is overly exaggerated and is commonly without warning. Its so hard to describe this. It is hard to tell what he will be able to handle, and what will turn in to WW3 with him. When I say he is aggressive, I don't mean he just hits someone and walks away. Outside of school, he usually begins by hitting me and then it turns into a *free-for-all* meaning he hits anyone or anything in his path. Of course I don't condone this behavior whatsoever. I get on his level to make as much eye contact as I can w/him, tell him *no hitting* *you cannot hit me* *use your words* and try to help him label

how he is feeling. I have an area set up for him when he is over stimulated where he can sit with his bear, draw, or blow bubbles to calm down. He wants NO part of it. He gets a rise out of running through the house throwing things at me, at the walls, at the ceiling. He doesn't care what he throws either. A penny, a shoe, a barstool, a can of Sprite, anything he can grab becomes airborne. I stay as calm as possible, don't yell (though I am yelling inside!!!), and don't chase him around the house. Unless you have seen these fits, it is hard to describe. It is like he is possessed.

They don't happen only at home. The first big public one happened yesterday at Walgreens. He wanted a battery he found on the ground that was obviously leaking. I said *no, that is dangerous* and asked him to put it in the trash while telling him about battery acid, etc. As I was getting my prescription, he just punched me right in the face!!! He started hitting me, and I quickly got a hold of his arms and firmly said *we don't hit!!* Grabbed the script, the drinks we had been drinking in the store and headed to the check out to pay for them. Before we left the pharmacy, I told him why we weren't getting the rest of the stuff, which he wasn't concerned with. He had picked out a toy to buy with his own money...well, he wasn't about to get that privilege. I left the cart where it was, but he grabbed it and took of running with it. At the checkout, he was

screaming and yelling. I paid for the drinks and started to leave. He tried to take the toy w/him, and refused to leave until he paid for it. I gave it to the cashier, told him we would not be getting it, and I expected him to walk to the car with me. 10 minutes later...he heads to the car with me. We struggled for that long to get out the door. He is too heavy for me to pick up, and he dug those heels in. Got out to the car, & he climbed in the drivers seat. When he is angry, he is stronger than usual and faster than usual. He *wasn't moving* in his mind. So, I shut the door (had the keys) for a minute. He climbed in his seat and went nuts kicking my seat, yelling, etc. It all continued when we got home, until finally I had enough. I told him it was time to turn his day around and redirected him into drawing to take his mind off of his anger. He will keep going and

going and going.

I don't know what to do in these situations!! ! Therapists say *have him blow bubbles* to calm him before it gets to that point. What she doesn't understand is he goes from the initial upset to rage in about 30 seconds!! He threw the bubbles in my face last time I tried that. I am at my wits end. I just don't know how to help my son.

I have figured out a few things I think may be triggering the afternoon fits. He told me last night he hasn't been eating lunch at school at all! So other than breakfast he doesn't eat until his after school snack. He usually chooses to play during the morning snack at school, and they don't have an afternoon one. I also found a number of pills that he didn't take or dropped. Usually I give him the AM meds, but the PM meds I let him take. No more! Also, he's been talking about being teased at school. So, I see a few possible issues. But...what in the world do I do with him when he is soooo violent??

I realize I sound like I cant control my own son, but they are baffling to me. I am open to advice...I really am.

thanks,

Ashleigh

____________ _________ __~Ashleigh~

"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seuss

www.picturetrail. com/ashleigh1976

[Guest guest]

Thank you all so much for your replies and help. His therapist suggested bubbles as a way to force him to breathe deeply and calm him down. Apparently, she thinks it is similar to the reason people smoke when they are upset. You breathe in and out deeply which somehow calms you down. Sounds good, but not for an angry 6 yr old!

I finally got the results from his testing at Vanderbilt, and am really bugged by the evaluators response. The school is going to do a FBA for him in the coming months.

I have scheduled another independent eval with the TEAM Centers in Chattanooga for Sept 17th. I don't agree with the Vandy results, and know without a proper diagnosis cant get the help he needs.

Has anyone ever taken their child for a 2nd eval outside of the schools?? I am desperate for help.

Ash

_______________________~Ashleigh~

"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seuss

www.picturetrail.com/ashleigh1976

( ) Thank you & Violent Behavior Date: Saturday, September 5, 2009, 2:52 PM

I am so thankful for this group. I wish I had more advice to offer rather than always posting questions, but maybe in some odd way knowing that we are all dealing with similar issues brings comfort somehow. I apologize for asking about the posts. I didn't realize this board was moderated. What a job for the moderators.. .thank you for all you do!

I am really concerned about my son. He has always been quick to anger and occasionally aggressive, but in the past 3 months or so this behavior has become more regular and more extreme. The reaction he has to a situation is overly exaggerated and is commonly without warning. Its so hard to describe this. It is hard to tell what he will be able to handle, and what will turn in to WW3 with him. When I say he is aggressive, I don't mean he just hits someone and walks away. Outside of school, he usually begins by hitting me and then it turns into a *free-for-all* meaning he hits anyone or anything in his path. Of course I don't condone this behavior whatsoever. I get on his level to make as much eye contact as I can w/him, tell him *no hitting* *you cannot hit me* *use your words* and try to help him label how he is feeling. I have an area set up for him when he is over stimulated where he can sit with his bear, draw, or blow bubbles to calm down. He wants NO part of it. He gets a rise out of running through the house throwing things at me, at the walls, at the ceiling. He doesn't care what he throws either. A penny, a shoe, a barstool, a can of Sprite, anything he can grab becomes airborne. I stay as calm as possible, don't yell (though I am yelling inside!!!), and don't chase him around the house. Unless you have seen these fits, it is hard to describe. It is like he is possessed.

They don't happen only at home. The first big public one happened yesterday at Walgreens. He wanted a battery he found on the ground that was obviously leaking. I said *no, that is dangerous* and asked him to put it in the trash while telling him about battery acid, etc. As I was getting my prescription, he just punched me right in the face!!! He started hitting me, and I quickly got a hold of his arms and firmly said *we don't hit!!* Grabbed the script, the drinks we had been drinking in the store and headed to the check out to pay for them. Before we left the pharmacy, I told him why we weren't getting the rest of the stuff, which he wasn't concerned with. He had picked out a toy to buy with his own money...well, he wasn't about to get that privilege. I left the cart where it was, but he grabbed it and took of running with it. At the checkout, he was screaming and yelling. I paid for the drinks and started to leave. He tried to take the toy w/him, and refused to leave until he paid for it. I gave it to the cashier, told him we would not be getting it, and I expected him to walk to the car with me. 10 minutes later...he heads to the car with me. We struggled for that long to get out the door. He is too heavy for me to pick up, and he dug those heels in. Got out to the car, & he climbed in the drivers seat. When he is angry, he is stronger than usual and faster than usual. He *wasn't moving* in his mind. So, I shut the door (had the keys) for a minute. He climbed in his seat and went nuts kicking my seat, yelling, etc. It all continued when we got home, until finally I had enough. I told him it was time to turn his day around and redirected him into drawing to take his mind off of his anger. He will keep going and going and going.

I don't know what to do in these situations!! ! Therapists say *have him blow bubbles* to calm him before it gets to that point. What she doesn't understand is he goes from the initial upset to rage in about 30 seconds!! He threw the bubbles in my face last time I tried that. I am at my wits end. I just don't know how to help my son.

I have figured out a few things I think may be triggering the afternoon fits. He told me last night he hasn't been eating lunch at school at all! So other than breakfast he doesn't eat until his after school snack. He usually chooses to play during the morning snack at school, and they don't have an afternoon one. I also found a number of pills that he didn't take or dropped. Usually I give him the AM meds, but the PM meds I let him take. No more! Also, he's been talking about being teased at school. So, I see a few possible issues. But...what in the world do I do with him when he is soooo violent??

I realize I sound like I cant control my own son, but they are baffling to me. I am open to advice...I really am.

thanks,

Ashleigh

____________ _________ __~Ashleigh~

"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seuss

www.picturetrail. com/ashleigh1976

[Guest guest]

He is 6 years old (11/28/02), but is very strong. I worry about his behavior as he gets older and stronger.

I am not against medication as it has made a big difference in the past. As I look back, it seems that his behavioral issues increased at the last medication increase which also happened around the time school started.

He is currently on:

Risperdal 0.5 bid (mood/aggression)

Remeron 15 mg bid (anxiety)

Vyvanse 50 mg (ADHD)

Singulair 4 mg

Zyrtec 10 mg

and Extendryl as needed for allergies.

_______________________~Ashleigh~

"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seuss

www.picturetrail.com/ashleigh1976

( ) Re: Thank you & Violent Behavior

Oh wow! I hope he is still young. It is one thing for a 6 yearold to punch Mom and another for a 14 year old. I am sure if you spoke with a neurologist on this they wouldprescribe either zoloft or prozac if it seems anxiety triggeredor rispedal which is often prescribed in a low dose for AS kidsthat act out. The sooner the better, if he is the least bit oppostional about medication. OK if you are opposed to medication and I hope you are not in a lowsafe dose.Pam .>> I am so thankful for this group. I wish I had more advice to offer rather than always posting questions, but maybe in some odd way knowing that we are all dealing with similar issues brings comfort somehow. I apologize for asking about the posts. I didn't realize this board was moderated. What a job for the moderators...thank you for all you do! > > I am really concerned about my son. He has always been quick to anger and occasionally aggressive, but in the past 3 months or so this behavior has become more regular and more extreme. The reaction he has to a situation is overly exaggerated and is commonly without warning. Its so hard to describe this. It is hard to tell what he will be able to handle, and what will turn in to WW3 with him. When I say he is aggressive, I don't mean he just hits someone and walks away. Outside of school, he usually begins by hitting me and then it turns into a *free-for-all* meaning he hits anyone or anything in his path. Of course I don't condone this behavior whatsoever. I get on his level to make as much eye contact as I can w/him, tell him *no hitting* *you cannot hit me* *use your words* and try to help him label how he is feeling. I have an area set up for him when he is over stimulated where he can sit with his bear, draw, or blow bubbles to calm down. He wants NO part of it. He gets a rise out of running through the house throwing things at me, at the walls, at the ceiling. He doesn't care what he throws either. A penny, a shoe, a barstool, a can of Sprite, anything he can grab becomes airborne. I stay as calm as possible, don't yell (though I am yelling inside!!!), and don't chase him around the house. Unless you have seen these fits, it is hard to describe. It is like he is possessed. > > They don't happen only at home. The first big public one happened yesterday at Walgreens. He wanted a battery he found on the ground that was obviously leaking. I said *no, that is dangerous* and asked him to put it in the trash while telling him about battery acid, etc. As I was getting my prescription, he just punched me right in the face!!! He started hitting me, and I quickly got a hold of his arms and firmly said *we don't hit!!* Grabbed the script, the drinks we had been drinking in the store and headed to the check out to pay for them. Before we left the pharmacy, I told him why we weren't getting the rest of the stuff, which he wasn't concerned with. He had picked out a toy to buy with his own money...well, he wasn't about to get that privilege. I left the cart where it was, but he grabbed it and took of running with it. At the checkout, he was screaming and yelling. I paid for the drinks and started to leave. He tried to take the toy w/him, and refused to leave until he paid for it. I gave it to the cashier, told him we would not be getting it, and I expected him to walk to the car with me. 10 minutes later...he heads to the car with me. We struggled for that long to get out the door. He is too heavy for me to pick up, and he dug those heels in. Got out to the car, & he climbed in the drivers seat. When he is angry, he is stronger than usual and faster than usual. He *wasn't moving* in his mind. So, I shut the door (had the keys) for a minute. He climbed in his seat and went nuts kicking my seat, yelling, etc. It all continued when we got home, until finally I had enough. I told him it was time to turn his day around and redirected him into drawing to take his mind off of his anger. He will keep going and going and going. > > I don't know what to do in these situations!!! Therapists say *have him blow bubbles* to calm him before it gets to that point. What she doesn't understand is he goes from the initial upset to rage in about 30 seconds!! He threw the bubbles in my face last time I tried that. I am at my wits end. I just don't know how to help my son. > > I have figured out a few things I think may be triggering the afternoon fits. He told me last night he hasn't been eating lunch at school at all! So other than breakfast he doesn't eat until his after school snack. He usually chooses to play during the morning snack at school, and they don't have an afternoon one. I also found a number of pills that he didn't take or dropped. Usually I give him the AM meds, but the PM meds I let him take. No more! Also, he's been talking about being teased at school. So, I see a few possible issues. But...what in the world do I do with him when he is soooo violent??> > I realize I sound like I cant control my own son, but they are baffling to me. I am open to advice...I really am. > > thanks,> Ashleigh> > > _______________________> ~Ashleigh~> > "So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,> Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seuss> > www.picturetrail.com/ashleigh1976>

[Guest guest]

Hi,I agree with Pam regarding zoloft. this medication has calmed down my daughter a lot. She used to be aggressive toward me, with behavioral therapist and zoloft she is not aggressive anymore. Sometimes she might be a little bit, but not as frequent as she used to be. ( ) Re: Thank you & Violent Behavior Oh wow! I hope he is still young. It is one thing for a 6 year old to punch Mom and another for a 14 year old. I am sure if you spoke with a neurologist on this they would prescribe either zoloft or prozac if it seems anxiety triggered or rispedal which is often prescribed in a low dose for AS kids that act out. The sooner the better, if he is the least bit oppostional about medication. OK if you are opposed to medication and I hope you are not in a low safe dose. Pam . > > I am so thankful for this group. I wish I had more advice to offer rather than always posting questions, but maybe in some odd way knowing that we are all dealing with similar issues brings comfort somehow. I apologize for asking about the posts. I didn't realize this board was moderated. What a job for the moderators...thank you for all you do! > > I am really concerned about my son. He has always been quick to anger and occasionally aggressive, but in the past 3 months or so this behavior has become more regular and more extreme. The reaction he has to a situation is overly exaggerated and is commonly without warning. Its so hard to describe this. It is hard to tell what he will be able to handle, and what will turn in to WW3 with him. When I say he is aggressive, I don't mean he just hits someone and walks away. Outside of school, he usually begins by hitting me and then it turns into a *free-for-all* meaning he hits anyone or anything in his path. Of course I don't condone this behavior whatsoever. I get on his level to make as much eye contact as I can w/him, tell him *no hitting* *you cannot hit me* *use your words* and try to help him label how he is feeling. I have an area set up for him when he is over stimulated where he can sit with his bear, draw, or blow bubbles to calm down. He wants NO part of it. He gets a rise out of running through the house throwing things at me, at the walls, at the ceiling. He doesn't care what he throws either. A penny, a shoe, a barstool, a can of Sprite, anything he can grab becomes airborne. I stay as calm as possible, don't yell (though I am yelling inside!!!), and don't chase him around the house. Unless you have seen these fits, it is hard to describe. It is like he is possessed. > > They don't happen only at home. The first big public one happened yesterday at Walgreens. He wanted a battery he found on the ground that was obviously leaking. I said *no, that is dangerous* and asked him to put it in the trash while telling him about battery acid, etc. As I was getting my prescription, he just punched me right in the face!!! He started hitting me, and I quickly got a hold of his arms and firmly said *we don't hit!!* Grabbed the script, the drinks we had been drinking in the store and headed to the check out to pay for them. Before we left the pharmacy, I told him why we weren't getting the rest of the stuff, which he wasn't concerned with. He had picked out a toy to buy with his own money...well, he wasn't about to get that privilege. I left the cart where it was, but he grabbed it and took of running with it. At the checkout, he was screaming and yelling. I paid for the drinks and started to leave. He tried to take the toy w/him, and refused to leave until he paid for it. I gave it to the cashier, told him we would not be getting it, and I expected him to walk to the car with me. 10 minutes later...he heads to the car with me. We struggled for that long to get out the door. He is too heavy for me to pick up, and he dug those heels in. Got out to the car, & he climbed in the drivers seat. When he is angry, he is stronger than usual and faster than usual. He *wasn't moving* in his mind. So, I shut the door (had the keys) for a minute. He climbed in his seat and went nuts kicking my seat, yelling, etc. It all continued when we got home, until finally I had enough. I told him it was time to turn his day around and redirected him into drawing to take his mind off of his anger. He will keep going and going and going. > > I don't know what to do in these situations!!! Therapists say *have him blow bubbles* to calm him before it gets to that point. What she doesn't understand is he goes from the initial upset to rage in about 30 seconds!! He threw the bubbles in my face last time I tried that. I am at my wits end. I just don't know how to help my son. > > I have figured out a few things I think may be triggering the afternoon fits. He told me last night he hasn't been eating lunch at school at all! So other than breakfast he doesn't eat until his after school snack. He usually chooses to play during the morning snack at school, and they don't have an afternoon one. I also found a number of pills that he didn't take or dropped. Usually I give him the AM meds, but the PM meds I let him take. No more! Also, he's been talking about being teased at school. So, I see a few possible issues. But...what in the world do I do with him when he is soooo violent?? > > I realize I sound like I cant control my own son, but they are baffling to me. I am open to advice...I really am. > > thanks, > Ashleigh > > > _______________________ > ~Ashleigh~ > > "So you see! There's no end to the things you might know, > Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seuss > > www.picturetrail.com/ashleigh1976 >

[Guest guest]

Yeah...just like the therapist told my son to count from 10 backwards....he was mad in the mall one time and I told him to do it and he says "I 'm not doing that Stupid thing".....

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: Ashleigh Crane <ashleighcrane@ charter.net>Subject: ( ) Thank you & Violent Behavior Date: Saturday, September 5, 2009, 2:52 PM

I am so thankful for this group. I wish I had more advice to offer rather than always posting questions, but maybe in some odd way knowing that we are all dealing with similar issues brings comfort somehow. I apologize for asking about the posts. I didn't realize this board was moderated. What a job for the moderators.. .thank you for all you do!

I am really concerned about my son. He has always been quick to anger and occasionally aggressive, but in the past 3 months or so this behavior has become more regular and more extreme. The reaction he has to a situation is overly exaggerated and is commonly without warning. Its so hard to describe this. It is hard to tell what he will be able to handle, and what will turn in to WW3 with him. When I say he is aggressive, I don't mean he just hits someone and walks away. Outside of school, he usually begins by hitting me and then it turns into a *free-for-all* meaning he hits anyone or anything in his path. Of course I don't condone this behavior whatsoever. I get on his level to make as much eye contact as I can w/him, tell him *no hitting* *you cannot hit me* *use your words* and try to help him label

how he is feeling. I have an area set up for him when he is over stimulated where he can sit with his bear, draw, or blow bubbles to calm down. He wants NO part of it. He gets a rise out of running through the house throwing things at me, at the walls, at the ceiling. He doesn't care what he throws either. A penny, a shoe, a barstool, a can of Sprite, anything he can grab becomes airborne. I stay as calm as possible, don't yell (though I am yelling inside!!!), and don't chase him around the house. Unless you have seen these fits, it is hard to describe. It is like he is possessed.

They don't happen only at home. The first big public one happened yesterday at Walgreens. He wanted a battery he found on the ground that was obviously leaking. I said *no, that is dangerous* and asked him to put it in the trash while telling him about battery acid, etc. As I was getting my prescription, he just punched me right in the face!!! He started hitting me, and I quickly got a hold of his arms and firmly said *we don't hit!!* Grabbed the script, the drinks we had been drinking in the store and headed to the check out to pay for them. Before we left the pharmacy, I told him why we weren't getting the rest of the stuff, which he wasn't concerned with. He had picked out a toy to buy with his own money...well, he wasn't about to get that privilege. I left the cart where it was, but he grabbed it and took of running with it. At the checkout, he was

screaming and yelling. I paid for the drinks and started to leave. He tried to take the toy w/him, and refused to leave until he paid for it. I gave it to the cashier, told him we would not be getting it, and I expected him to walk to the car with me. 10 minutes later...he heads to the car with me. We struggled for that long to get out the door. He is too heavy for me to pick up, and he dug those heels in. Got out to the car, & he climbed in the drivers seat. When he is angry, he is stronger than usual and faster than usual. He *wasn't moving* in his mind. So, I shut the door (had the keys) for a minute. He climbed in his seat and went nuts kicking my seat, yelling, etc. It all continued when we got home, until finally I had enough. I told him it was time to turn his day around and redirected him into drawing to take his mind off of his anger. He will keep going and

going and going.

I don't know what to do in these situations!! ! Therapists say *have him blow bubbles* to calm him before it gets to that point. What she doesn't understand is he goes from the initial upset to rage in about 30 seconds!! He threw the bubbles in my face last time I tried that. I am at my wits end. I just don't know how to help my son.

I have figured out a few things I think may be triggering the afternoon fits. He told me last night he hasn't been eating lunch at school at all! So other than breakfast he doesn't eat until his after school snack. He usually chooses to play during the morning snack at school, and they don't have an afternoon one. I also found a number of pills that he didn't take or dropped. Usually I give him the AM meds, but the PM meds I let him take. No more! Also, he's been talking about being teased at school. So, I see a few possible issues. But...what in the world do I do with him when he is soooo violent??

I realize I sound like I cant control my own son, but they are baffling to me. I am open to advice...I really am.

thanks,

Ashleigh

____________ _________ __~Ashleigh~

"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seuss

www.picturetrail. com/ashleigh1976

[Guest guest]

>

> Yeah...just like the therapist told my son to count from 10 backwards....he

was mad in the mall one time and I told him to do it and he says " I 'm not doing

that Stupid thing " .....

I heard a really interesting twist on this once. Some professional said this, I

don't remember who. He said to have them do some math--match it with their age

and ability--like count to 100 by 3's or figure out a bunch of square roots. Or

even just spell big words that are big enough that they have to think about. He

said it engages the logical part of their brain and helps make that bridge over

to the emotional part of the brain that is kind of out of control and needs the

logical interference. I never remember to try it very often in the heat of

things though, so I don't know how well it really works.

[Guest guest]

Yes, food was key for us too. It is hard to balance not being hungry by eating frequently or purposely eating before an outing, with the weight gain from the Abilify. But, as much as I don't like obesity, I don't like scary crazy even more.... So, we try to find a balance. Swimming starts up again in a week and this is the first time my son has been willing to do a daily exercise program, so hopefully that will take the edge off some of it as well....

( ) Thank you & Violent Behavior Date: Saturday, September 5, 2009, 2:52 PM

I am so thankful for this group. I wish I had more advice to offer rather than always posting questions, but maybe in some odd way knowing that we are all dealing with similar issues brings comfort somehow. I apologize for asking about the posts. I didn't realize this board was moderated. What a job for the moderators.. .thank you for all you do!

I am really concerned about my son. He has always been quick to anger and occasionally aggressive, but in the past 3 months or so this behavior has become more regular and more extreme. The reaction he has to a situation is overly exaggerated and is commonly without warning. Its so hard to describe this. It is hard to tell what he will be able to handle, and what will turn in to WW3 with him. When I say he is aggressive, I don't mean he just hits someone and walks away. Outside of school, he usually begins by hitting me and then it turns into a *free-for-all* meaning he hits anyone or anything in his path. Of course I don't condone this behavior whatsoever. I get on his level to make as much eye contact as I can w/him, tell him *no hitting* *you cannot hit me* *use your words* and try to help him label how he is feeling. I have an area set up for him when he is over stimulated where he can sit with his bear, draw, or blow bubbles to calm down. He wants NO part of it. He gets a rise out of running through the house throwing things at me, at the walls, at the ceiling. He doesn't care what he throws either. A penny, a shoe, a barstool, a can of Sprite, anything he can grab becomes airborne. I stay as calm as possible, don't yell (though I am yelling inside!!!), and don't chase him around the house. Unless you have seen these fits, it is hard to describe. It is like he is possessed.

They don't happen only at home. The first big public one happened yesterday at Walgreens. He wanted a battery he found on the ground that was obviously leaking. I said *no, that is dangerous* and asked him to put it in the trash while telling him about battery acid, etc. As I was getting my prescription, he just punched me right in the face!!! He started hitting me, and I quickly got a hold of his arms and firmly said *we don't hit!!* Grabbed the script, the drinks we had been drinking in the store and headed to the check out to pay for them. Before we left the pharmacy, I told him why we weren't getting the rest of the stuff, which he wasn't concerned with. He had picked out a toy to buy with his own money...well, he wasn't about to get that privilege. I left the cart where it was, but he grabbed it and took of running with it. At the checkout, he was screaming and yelling. I paid for the drinks and started to leave. He tried to take the toy w/him, and refused to leave until he paid for it. I gave it to the cashier, told him we would not be getting it, and I expected him to walk to the car with me. 10 minutes later...he heads to the car with me. We struggled for that long to get out the door. He is too heavy for me to pick up, and he dug those heels in. Got out to the car, & he climbed in the drivers seat. When he is angry, he is stronger than usual and faster than usual. He *wasn't moving* in his mind. So, I shut the door (had the keys) for a minute. He climbed in his seat and went nuts kicking my seat, yelling, etc. It all continued when we got home, until finally I had enough. I told him it was time to turn his day around and redirected him into drawing to take his mind off of his anger. He will keep going and going and going.

I don't know what to do in these situations!! ! Therapists say *have him blow bubbles* to calm him before it gets to that point. What she doesn't understand is he goes from the initial upset to rage in about 30 seconds!! He threw the bubbles in my face last time I tried that. I am at my wits end. I just don't know how to help my son.

I have figured out a few things I think may be triggering the afternoon fits. He told me last night he hasn't been eating lunch at school at all! So other than breakfast he doesn't eat until his after school snack. He usually chooses to play during the morning snack at school, and they don't have an afternoon one. I also found a number of pills that he didn't take or dropped. Usually I give him the AM meds, but the PM meds I let him take. No more! Also, he's been talking about being teased at school. So, I see a few possible issues. But...what in the world do I do with him when he is soooo violent??

I realize I sound like I cant control my own son, but they are baffling to me. I am open to advice...I really am.

thanks,

Ashleigh

____________ _________ __~Ashleigh~

"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seuss

www.picturetrail. com/ashleigh1976

[Guest guest]



Is she on anything in addition to Zoloft?

So far I have heard Geodon and Zoloft work well. Not sure if they can be used together, but will mention this for sure. He tried Adderall and had terrible rebounds in the afternoon.

_______________________~Ashleigh~

"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seuss

www.picturetrail.com/ashleigh1976

( ) Re: Thank you & Violent Behavior Oh wow! I hope he is still young. It is one thing for a 6 year old to punch Mom and another for a 14 year old. I am sure if you spoke with a neurologist on this they would prescribe either zoloft or prozac if it seems anxiety triggered or rispedal which is often prescribed in a low dose for AS kids that act out. The sooner the better, if he is the least bit oppostional about medication. OK if you are opposed to medication and I hope you are not in a low safe dose. Pam . > > I am so thankful for this group. I wish I had more advice to offer rather than always posting questions, but maybe in some odd way knowing that we are all dealing with similar issues brings comfort somehow. I apologize for asking about the posts. I didn't realize this board was moderated. What a job for the moderators...thank you for all you do! > > I am really concerned about my son. He has always been quick to anger and occasionally aggressive, but in the past 3 months or so this behavior has become more regular and more extreme. The reaction he has to a situation is overly exaggerated and is commonly without warning. Its so hard to describe this. It is hard to tell what he will be able to handle, and what will turn in to WW3 with him. When I say he is aggressive, I don't mean he just hits someone and walks away. Outside of school, he usually begins by hitting me and then it turns into a *free-for-all* meaning he hits anyone or anything in his path. Of course I don't condone this behavior whatsoever. I get on his level to make as much eye contact as I can w/him, tell him *no hitting* *you cannot hit me* *use your words* and try to help him label how he is feeling. I have an area set up for him when he is over stimulated where he can sit with his bear, draw, or blow bubbles to calm down. He wants NO part of it. He gets a rise out of running through the house throwing things at me, at the walls, at the ceiling. He doesn't care what he throws either. A penny, a shoe, a barstool, a can of Sprite, anything he can grab becomes airborne. I stay as calm as possible, don't yell (though I am yelling inside!!!), and don't chase him around the house. Unless you have seen these fits, it is hard to describe. It is like he is possessed. > > They don't happen only at home. The first big public one happened yesterday at Walgreens. He wanted a battery he found on the ground that was obviously leaking. I said *no, that is dangerous* and asked him to put it in the trash while telling him about battery acid, etc. As I was getting my prescription, he just punched me right in the face!!! He started hitting me, and I quickly got a hold of his arms and firmly said *we don't hit!!* Grabbed the script, the drinks we had been drinking in the store and headed to the check out to pay for them. Before we left the pharmacy, I told him why we weren't getting the rest of the stuff, which he wasn't concerned with. He had picked out a toy to buy with his own money...well, he wasn't about to get that privilege. I left the cart where it was, but he grabbed it and took of running with it. At the checkout, he was screaming and yelling. I paid for the drinks and started to leave. He tried to take the toy w/him, and refused to leave until he paid for it. I gave it to the cashier, told him we would not be getting it, and I expected him to walk to the car with me. 10 minutes later...he heads to the car with me. We struggled for that long to get out the door. He is too heavy for me to pick up, and he dug those heels in. Got out to the car, & he climbed in the drivers seat. When he is angry, he is stronger than usual and faster than usual. He *wasn't moving* in his mind. So, I shut the door (had the keys) for a minute. He climbed in his seat and went nuts kicking my seat, yelling, etc. It all continued when we got home, until finally I had enough. I told him it was time to turn his day around and redirected him into drawing to take his mind off of his anger. He will keep going and going and going. > > I don't know what to do in these situations!!! Therapists say *have him blow bubbles* to calm him before it gets to that point. What she doesn't understand is he goes from the initial upset to rage in about 30 seconds!! He threw the bubbles in my face last time I tried that. I am at my wits end. I just don't know how to help my son. > > I have figured out a few things I think may be triggering the afternoon fits. He told me last night he hasn't been eating lunch at school at all! So other than breakfast he doesn't eat until his after school snack. He usually chooses to play during the morning snack at school, and they don't have an afternoon one. I also found a number of pills that he didn't take or dropped. Usually I give him the AM meds, but the PM meds I let him take. No more! Also, he's been talking about being teased at school. So, I see a few possible issues. But...what in the world do I do with him when he is soooo violent?? > > I realize I sound like I cant control my own son, but they are baffling to me. I am open to advice...I really am. > > thanks, > Ashleigh > > > _______________________ > ~Ashleigh~ > > "So you see! There's no end to the things you might know, > Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seuss > > www.picturetrail.com/ashleigh1976 >

[Guest guest]

AMEN! I gave him the bubbles once, which were put in a water gun and shot back in my face. That was the LAST time I tried bubbles. Ugh.

He has been sick with strep throat for a few days, and I couldn't ask for a better kid. I don't want him to stay sick, but wish the behavior would stay around past the bacteria!!!

_______________________~Ashleigh~

"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seuss

www.picturetrail.com/ashleigh1976

( ) Thank you & Violent Behavior Date: Saturday, September 5, 2009, 2:52 PM

I am so thankful for this group. I wish I had more advice to offer rather than always posting questions, but maybe in some odd way knowing that we are all dealing with similar issues brings comfort somehow. I apologize for asking about the posts. I didn't realize this board was moderated. What a job for the moderators.. .thank you for all you do!

I am really concerned about my son. He has always been quick to anger and occasionally aggressive, but in the past 3 months or so this behavior has become more regular and more extreme. The reaction he has to a situation is overly exaggerated and is commonly without warning. Its so hard to describe this. It is hard to tell what he will be able to handle, and what will turn in to WW3 with him. When I say he is aggressive, I don't mean he just hits someone and walks away. Outside of school, he usually begins by hitting me and then it turns into a *free-for-all* meaning he hits anyone or anything in his path. Of course I don't condone this behavior whatsoever. I get on his level to make as much eye contact as I can w/him, tell him *no hitting* *you cannot hit me* *use your words* and try to help him label how he is feeling. I have an area set up for him when he is over stimulated where he can sit with his bear, draw, or blow bubbles to calm down. He wants NO part of it. He gets a rise out of running through the house throwing things at me, at the walls, at the ceiling. He doesn't care what he throws either. A penny, a shoe, a barstool, a can of Sprite, anything he can grab becomes airborne. I stay as calm as possible, don't yell (though I am yelling inside!!!), and don't chase him around the house. Unless you have seen these fits, it is hard to describe. It is like he is possessed.

They don't happen only at home. The first big public one happened yesterday at Walgreens. He wanted a battery he found on the ground that was obviously leaking. I said *no, that is dangerous* and asked him to put it in the trash while telling him about battery acid, etc. As I was getting my prescription, he just punched me right in the face!!! He started hitting me, and I quickly got a hold of his arms and firmly said *we don't hit!!* Grabbed the script, the drinks we had been drinking in the store and headed to the check out to pay for them. Before we left the pharmacy, I told him why we weren't getting the rest of the stuff, which he wasn't concerned with. He had picked out a toy to buy with his own money...well, he wasn't about to get that privilege. I left the cart where it was, but he grabbed it and took of running with it. At the checkout, he was screaming and yelling. I paid for the drinks and started to leave. He tried to take the toy w/him, and refused to leave until he paid for it. I gave it to the cashier, told him we would not be getting it, and I expected him to walk to the car with me. 10 minutes later...he heads to the car with me. We struggled for that long to get out the door. He is too heavy for me to pick up, and he dug those heels in. Got out to the car, & he climbed in the drivers seat. When he is angry, he is stronger than usual and faster than usual. He *wasn't moving* in his mind. So, I shut the door (had the keys) for a minute. He climbed in his seat and went nuts kicking my seat, yelling, etc. It all continued when we got home, until finally I had enough. I told him it was time to turn his day around and redirected him into drawing to take his mind off of his anger. He will keep going and going and going.

I don't know what to do in these situations!! ! Therapists say *have him blow bubbles* to calm him before it gets to that point. What she doesn't understand is he goes from the initial upset to rage in about 30 seconds!! He threw the bubbles in my face last time I tried that. I am at my wits end. I just don't know how to help my son.

I have figured out a few things I think may be triggering the afternoon fits. He told me last night he hasn't been eating lunch at school at all! So other than breakfast he doesn't eat until his after school snack. He usually chooses to play during the morning snack at school, and they don't have an afternoon one. I also found a number of pills that he didn't take or dropped. Usually I give him the AM meds, but the PM meds I let him take. No more! Also, he's been talking about being teased at school. So, I see a few possible issues. But...what in the world do I do with him when he is soooo violent??

I realize I sound like I cant control my own son, but they are baffling to me. I am open to advice...I really am.

thanks,

Ashleigh

____________ _________ __~Ashleigh~

"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seuss

www.picturetrail. com/ashleigh1976

[Guest guest]

It is so funny about the bubbles...lol ( ) Thank you & Violent Behavior Date: Saturday, September 5, 2009, 2:52 PM I am so thankful for this group. I wish I had more advice to offer rather than always posting questions, but maybe in some odd way knowing that we are all dealing with similar issues brings comfort somehow. I apologize for asking about the posts. I didn't realize this board was moderated. What a job for the moderators.. .thank you for all you do! I am really concerned about my son. He has always been quick to anger and occasionally aggressive, but in the past 3 months or so this behavior has become more regular and more extreme. The reaction he has to a situation is overly exaggerated and is commonly without warning. Its so hard to describe this. It is hard to tell what he will be able to handle, and what will turn in to WW3 with him. When I say he is aggressive, I don't mean he just hits someone and walks away. Outside of school, he usually begins by hitting me and then it turns into a *free-for-all* meaning he hits anyone or anything in his path. Of course I don't condone this behavior whatsoever. I get on his level to make as much eye contact as I can w/him, tell him *no hitting* *you cannot hit me* *use your words* and try to help him label how he is feeling. I have an area set up for him when he is over stimulated where he can sit with his bear, draw, or blow bubbles to calm down. He wants NO part of it. He gets a rise out of running through the house throwing things at me, at the walls, at the ceiling. He doesn't care what he throws either. A penny, a shoe, a barstool, a can of Sprite, anything he can grab becomes airborne. I stay as calm as possible, don't yell (though I am yelling inside!!!), and don't chase him around the house. Unless you have seen these fits, it is hard to describe. It is like he is possessed. They don't happen only at home. The first big public one happened yesterday at Walgreens. He wanted a battery he found on the ground that was obviously leaking. I said *no, that is dangerous* and asked him to put it in the trash while telling him about battery acid, etc. As I was getting my prescription, he just punched me right in the face!!! He started hitting me, and I quickly got a hold of his arms and firmly said *we don't hit!!* Grabbed the script, the drinks we had been drinking in the store and headed to the check out to pay for them. Before we left the pharmacy, I told him why we weren't getting the rest of the stuff, which he wasn't concerned with. He had picked out a toy to buy with his own money...well, he wasn't about to get that privilege. I left the cart where it was, but he grabbed it and took of running with it. At the checkout, he was screaming and yelling. I paid for the drinks and started to leave. He tried to take the toy w/him, and refused to leave until he paid for it. I gave it to the cashier, told him we would not be getting it, and I expected him to walk to the car with me. 10 minutes later...he heads to the car with me. We struggled for that long to get out the door. He is too heavy for me to pick up, and he dug those heels in. Got out to the car, & he climbed in the drivers seat. When he is angry, he is stronger than usual and faster than usual. He *wasn't moving* in his mind. So, I shut the door (had the keys) for a minute. He climbed in his seat and went nuts kicking my seat, yelling, etc. It all continued when we got home, until finally I had enough. I told him it was time to turn his day around and redirected him into drawing to take his mind off of his anger. He will keep going and going and going. I don't know what to do in these situations!! ! Therapists say *have him blow bubbles* to calm him before it gets to that point. What she doesn't understand is he goes from the initial upset to rage in about 30 seconds!! He threw the bubbles in my face last time I tried that. I am at my wits end. I just don't know how to help my son. I have figured out a few things I think may be triggering the afternoon fits. He told me last night he hasn't been eating lunch at school at all! So other than breakfast he doesn't eat until his after school snack. He usually chooses to play during the morning snack at school, and they don't have an afternoon one. I also found a number of pills that he didn't take or dropped. Usually I give him the AM meds, but the PM meds I let him take. No more! Also, he's been talking about being teased at school. So, I see a few possible issues. But...what in the world do I do with him when he is soooo violent?? I realize I sound like I cant control my own son, but they are baffling to me. I am open to advice...I really am. thanks, Ashleigh ____________ _________ __ ~Ashleigh~ "So you see! There's no end to the things you might know, Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seuss www.picturetrail. com/ashleigh1976

[Guest guest]



I agree...looking back, I can laugh, but at the time I was cursing his therapist in my mind. lol

_______________________~Ashleigh~

"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seuss

www.picturetrail.com/ashleigh1976

( ) Thank you & Violent Behavior Date: Saturday, September 5, 2009, 2:52 PM I am so thankful for this group. I wish I had more advice to offer rather than always posting questions, but maybe in some odd way knowing that we are all dealing with similar issues brings comfort somehow. I apologize for asking about the posts. I didn't realize this board was moderated. What a job for the moderators.. .thank you for all you do! I am really concerned about my son. He has always been quick to anger and occasionally aggressive, but in the past 3 months or so this behavior has become more regular and more extreme. The reaction he has to a situation is overly exaggerated and is commonly without warning. Its so hard to describe this. It is hard to tell what he will be able to handle, and what will turn in to WW3 with him. When I say he is aggressive, I don't mean he just hits someone and walks away. Outside of school, he usually begins by hitting me and then it turns into a *free-for-all* meaning he hits anyone or anything in his path. Of course I don't condone this behavior whatsoever. I get on his level to make as much eye contact as I can w/him, tell him *no hitting* *you cannot hit me* *use your words* and try to help him label how he is feeling. I have an area set up for him when he is over stimulated where he can sit with his bear, draw, or blow bubbles to calm down. He wants NO part of it. He gets a rise out of running through the house throwing things at me, at the walls, at the ceiling. He doesn't care what he throws either. A penny, a shoe, a barstool, a can of Sprite, anything he can grab becomes airborne. I stay as calm as possible, don't yell (though I am yelling inside!!!), and don't chase him around the house. Unless you have seen these fits, it is hard to describe. It is like he is possessed. They don't happen only at home. The first big public one happened yesterday at Walgreens. He wanted a battery he found on the ground that was obviously leaking. I said *no, that is dangerous* and asked him to put it in the trash while telling him about battery acid, etc. As I was getting my prescription, he just punched me right in the face!!! He started hitting me, and I quickly got a hold of his arms and firmly said *we don't hit!!* Grabbed the script, the drinks we had been drinking in the store and headed to the check out to pay for them. Before we left the pharmacy, I told him why we weren't getting the rest of the stuff, which he wasn't concerned with. He had picked out a toy to buy with his own money...well, he wasn't about to get that privilege. I left the cart where it was, but he grabbed it and took of running with it. At the checkout, he was screaming and yelling. I paid for the drinks and started to leave. He tried to take the toy w/him, and refused to leave until he paid for it. I gave it to the cashier, told him we would not be getting it, and I expected him to walk to the car with me. 10 minutes later...he heads to the car with me. We struggled for that long to get out the door. He is too heavy for me to pick up, and he dug those heels in. Got out to the car, & he climbed in the drivers seat. When he is angry, he is stronger than usual and faster than usual. He *wasn't moving* in his mind. So, I shut the door (had the keys) for a minute. He climbed in his seat and went nuts kicking my seat, yelling, etc. It all continued when we got home, until finally I had enough. I told him it was time to turn his day around and redirected him into drawing to take his mind off of his anger. He will keep going and going and going. I don't know what to do in these situations!! ! Therapists say *have him blow bubbles* to calm him before it gets to that point. What she doesn't understand is he goes from the initial upset to rage in about 30 seconds!! He threw the bubbles in my face last time I tried that. I am at my wits end. I just don't know how to help my son. I have figured out a few things I think may be triggering the afternoon fits. He told me last night he hasn't been eating lunch at school at all! So other than breakfast he doesn't eat until his after school snack. He usually chooses to play during the morning snack at school, and they don't have an afternoon one. I also found a number of pills that he didn't take or dropped. Usually I give him the AM meds, but the PM meds I let him take. No more! Also, he's been talking about being teased at school. So, I see a few possible issues. But...what in the world do I do with him when he is soooo violent?? I realize I sound like I cant control my own son, but they are baffling to me. I am open to advice...I really am. thanks, Ashleigh ____________ _________ __ ~Ashleigh~ "So you see! There's no end to the things you might know, Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seuss www.picturetrail. com/ashleigh1976

[Guest guest]

LOL, " Fluffy bunny world " I LOL at that line, Lorraine! lol

 Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

Re: ( ) Thank you & Violent Behavior

agree, we found our son wasn't eating his packed lunch, regularly got

teased, if we went to the shops on the way home he would flip if we

wouldn't buy him some chocolate. Obvious to us now that he needed food.

Now we tell him if he eats all his packed lunch it is ok to have some

chocolate on the way home.  We have also found that it is best, if he

is having a tantrum it is best to just let him get on with it, as long

as he isn't hurting anyone, asking him questions, restraining him, or

trying to make eye contact with him just makes the situation more

stressfull for him, and the " episode " lasts longer. We also give him

space after school, an hour to do whatever he wants, this seems to calm

him down.

 

Our kids are more inquisitive than others, so I let him investigate

stuff as long as it isn't harmful, if he had asked about the battery I

would have let him look at it then put it in the bin, easier and

quicker than making an issue of it.

 

=0

D

Bubbles??? You really want to chap their foreheads and ask what fluffy

bunny world they live in, cause our lives arn't like that, there is not

way bubbles would avert a tantrum.

 

Does he have a physical exercise that could help him let off steam

rather than sitting and drawing, like kicking a ball, so he is able to

work off his anger. Our son has a trampoline, ball, bike etc in the

garden, so when we are home and I can see he, or I, am starting to get

frustrated and goes outside, he is always much better after some

exercise.

 

And other people, who cares about them, do what you need to make you

and your family happy.

[Guest guest]

That sounds good ...but knowing my son...he won't due it...it is best to just leave him alone....I could just see him counting by 3's ...I can't even get him to do it when he is in a good mood....ha ha!

jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: r_woman2 <me2ruth@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Thank you & Violent Behavior Date: Tuesday, September 8, 2009, 6:41 PM

>> Yeah...just like the therapist told my son to count from 10 backwards... .he was mad in the mall one time and I told him to do it and he says "I 'm not doing that Stupid thing".....I heard a really interesting twist on this once. Some professional said this, I don't remember who. He said to have them do some math--match it with their age and ability--like count to 100 by 3's or figure out a bunch of square roots. Or even just spell big words that are big enough that they have to think about. He said it engages the logical part of their brain and helps make that bridge over to the emotional part of the brain that is kind of out of control and needs the logical interference.

I never remember to try it very often in the heat of things though, so I don't know how well it really works.