Re: 8 year old says she wants to die

[Guest guest]

I don't think it's just to get your attention, but @ 8 years old, she may not realize the consequences of these actions. My son did the same thing at 8, and still does it occasionally at 10. Medication and diet helped some. What worked best for us was transference - "when you say that, it breaks mommy's heart. How would your heart feel if mommy said those things?" - and constant positive reinforcement - even to the point where it seems ridiculous to NTs - gushing over the smallest possible good behavior or idea to build self esteem. Even correcting undesirable behaviours with a positve tone. Just what helped for us in a similar situation. Good luck!

From: jennifer_thorson@...Date: Sat, 4 Sep 2010 16:19:06 +0000Subject: ( ) 8 year old says she wants to die

She has PDD NOS and when she gets mad or angry she says it is the worst day of her life and she wants to die. Sometimes when she is calm she will say nothing good happens to her and she has never had a good day. Sometimes she will say she does not really want to die when she is calm. I just told her she is on the spectrum and she did not have much of a reaction. I don't know if she really heard me or understood. She has said that kids call her weird and she is different so I thought it was time to tell her. I talked to her about seeing a counselor to talk about how she feels and she agreed. What do you think. Sometimes when she slams the door and says she is going to put her finger in the socket I really worry she is going to do it. Or is this just to get my attention?

[Guest guest]

I don't think the behavior is intentionally attention seeking. This is their mindset and our kids are wired differently than we are. Yes, I think your daughter needs help through this stuff. Try and make sure the counsellor/therapist has experience with kids on  the spectrum.  You may want to consider going to check out the person yourself before you get your daughter involved to see if they would be a match.

Please consider reading, " The Optimistic Child " by P. Seligman. This book is written for parents to help guide their children through re-defining the way our kids think. Honestly, it's been helpful to me, too. 

On Sat, Sep 4, 2010 at 12:19 PM, jennifer_thorson <jennifer_thorson@...> wrote:

 

She has PDD NOS and when she gets mad or angry she says it is the worst day of her life and she wants to die. Sometimes when she is calm she will say nothing good happens to her and she has never had a good day. Sometimes she will say she does not really want to die when she is calm. I just told her she is on the spectrum and she did not have much of a reaction. I don't know if she really heard me or understood. She has said that kids call her weird and she is different so I thought it was time to tell her. I talked to her about seeing a counselor to talk about how she feels and she agreed. What do you think. Sometimes when she slams the door and says she is going to put her finger in the socket I really worry she is going to do it. Or is this just to get my attention?

[Guest guest]

As someone who did similar things, I assure you this is not attention-seeking behavior. It comes from a feeling of helplessness, of having no control over one’s world, at being at the mercy of Society.

Try getting her to exercise. I know from firsthand experience how insanely important exercise is for the brain. It helped me through my teen years, and I figured it out by accident. Perhaps you have a workout DVD that you could do together, or maybe you could find more parents of kids with AS. You could get together a few times a week for a workout session so she sees that other kids like her are struggling with the same issues and are doing the workout with her.

On 9/4/10 1:23 PM, " " <doyourecycle@...> wrote:

I don't think the behavior is intentionally attention seeking. This is their mindset and our kids are wired differently than we are. Yes, I think your daughter needs help through this stuff. Try and make sure the counsellor/therapist has experience with kids on  the spectrum.  You may want to consider going to check out the person yourself before you get your daughter involved to see if they would be a match.

Please consider reading, " The Optimistic Child " by P. Seligman. This book is written for parents to help guide their children through re-defining the way our kids think. Honestly, it's been helpful to me, too. 

On Sat, Sep 4, 2010 at 12:19 PM, jennifer_thorson <jennifer_thorson@...> wrote:

 

She has PDD NOS and when she gets mad or angry she says it is the worst day of her life and she wants to die. Sometimes when she is calm she will say nothing good happens to her and she has never had a good day. Sometimes she will say she does not really want to die when she is calm. I just told her she is on the spectrum and she did not have much of a reaction. I don't know if she really heard me or understood. She has said that kids call her weird and she is different so I thought it was time to tell her. I talked to her about seeing a counselor to talk about how she feels and she agreed. What do you think. Sometimes when she slams the door and says she is going to put her finger in the socket I really worry she is going to do it. Or is this just to get my attention?

[Guest guest]

My 8 year old says things like that too! He has told us to just kill him when

he is having a bad day. He also tells me I would be better od without him and

that he doesn't deserve me. I talked to his therapist about this and she didn't

seem overly concerned. Maybe it just goes along with the fact that they have a

hard time controlling their emotions? I worry too that he means it and it

freaks me out to have my 8 year old talking like this. He has been complaining

that he is getting picked on @ school as well.....I suppose that will be

happening more and more as our kids get older:( I feel like my son is sad and

it makes you feel terrible as a mother.....Just wanted to let you know you are

not alone!

----------

Sent from my Verizon Wireless mobile phone

- Re: ( ) 8 year old says she wants to die

I don't think the behavior is intentionally attention seeking. This is their

mindset and our kids are wired differently than we are. Yes, I think your

daughter needs help through this stuff. Try and make sure the

counsellor/therapist has experience with kids on the spectrum. You may

want to consider going to check out the person yourself before you get your

daughter involved to see if they would be a match.

Please consider reading, " The Optimistic Child " by P. Seligman. This

book is written for parents to help guide their children through re-defining

the way our kids think. Honestly, it's been helpful to me, too.

On Sat, Sep 4, 2010 at 12:19 PM, jennifer_thorson <

jennifer_thorson@...> wrote:

>

>

> She has PDD NOS and when she gets mad or angry she says it is the worst day

> of her life and she wants to die. Sometimes when she is calm she will say

> nothing good happens to her and she has never had a good day. Sometimes she

> will say she does not really want to die when she is calm. I just told her

> she is on the spectrum and she did not have much of a reaction. I don't know

> if she really heard me or understood. She has said that kids call her weird

> and she is different so I thought it was time to tell her. I talked to her

> about seeing a counselor to talk about how she feels and she agreed. What do

> you think. Sometimes when she slams the door and says she is going to put

> her finger in the socket I really worry she is going to do it. Or is this

> just to get my attention?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Great advice! Sent via BlackBerry by AT&TFrom: Lehman <dklehman@...>Sender: Date: Sat, 4 Sep 2010 11:46:24 -0500asperger support group<Aspergers Treatment >Reply Subject: RE: ( ) 8 year old says she wants to die I don't think it's just to get your attention, but @ 8 years old, she may not realize the consequences of these actions. My son did the same thing at 8, and still does it occasionally at 10. Medication and diet helped some. What worked best for us was transference - "when you say that, it breaks mommy's heart. How would your heart feel if mommy said those things?" - and constant positive reinforcement - even to the point where it seems ridiculous to NTs - gushing over the smallest possible good behavior or idea to build self esteem. Even correcting undesirable behaviours with a positve tone. Just what helped for us in a similar situation. Good luck! From: jennifer_thorson@...Date: Sat, 4 Sep 2010 16:19:06 +0000Subject: ( ) 8 year old says she wants to die She has PDD NOS and when she gets mad or angry she says it is the worst day of her life and she wants to die. Sometimes when she is calm she will say nothing good happens to her and she has never had a good day. Sometimes she will say she does not really want to die when she is calm. I just told her she is on the spectrum and she did not have much of a reaction. I don't know if she really heard me or understood. She has said that kids call her weird and she is different so I thought it was time to tell her. I talked to her about seeing a counselor to talk about how she feels and she agreed. What do you think. Sometimes when she slams the door and says she is going to put her finger in the socket I really worry she is going to do it. Or is this just to get my attention?

[Guest guest]

Exercise is so very important in depression and the brain....it not only increase the circulation to the brain but it also carries away waste from the brain faster. It also increase production of chemicals that are good for the brain such as endorphins which are the body's own natural pain killers and mood elevators. Sleep is also very important in mood and depression...not enough sleep or broken sleep can lead to depressed moods.

I would not rule out medication for depression because my older daughter used them for several months just to help her get out of the "dark" times and then she was off of them.

Vicki

-- Re: ( ) 8 year old says she wants to die

As someone who did similar things, I assure you this is not attention-seeking behavior. It comes from a feeling of helplessness, of having no control over one’s world, at being at the mercy of Society. Try getting her to exercise. I know from firsthand experience how insanely important exercise is for the brain. It helped me through my teen years, and I figured it out by accident. Perhaps you have a workout DVD that you could do together, or maybe you could find more parents of kids with AS. You could get together a few times a week for a workout session so she sees that other kids like her are struggling with the same issues and are doing the workout with her.On 9/4/10 1:23 PM, "" <doyourecycle@...> wrote:

I don't think the behavior is intentionally attention seeking. This is their mindset and our kids are wired differently than we are. Yes, I think your daughter needs help through this stuff. Try and make sure the counsellor/therapist has experience with kids on the spectrum. You may want to consider going to check out the person yourself before you get your daughter involved to see if they would be a match.Please consider reading, "The Optimistic Child" by P. Seligman. This book is written for parents to help guide their children through re-defining the way our kids think. Honestly, it's been helpful to me, too. On Sat, Sep 4, 2010 at 12:19 PM, jennifer_thorson <jennifer_thorson@...> wrote:

She has PDD NOS and when she gets mad or angry she says it is the worst day of her life and she wants to die. Sometimes when she is calm she will say nothing good happens to her and she has never had a good day. Sometimes she will say she does not really want to die when she is calm. I just told her she is on the spectrum and she did not have much of a reaction. I don't know if she really heard me or understood. She has said that kids call her weird and she is different so I thought it was time to tell her. I talked to her about seeing a counselor to talk about how she feels and she agreed. What do you think. Sometimes when she slams the door and says she is going to put her finger in the socket I really worry she is going to do it. Or is this just to get my attention?

[Guest guest]

Fantastic idea!!! My husband has been travelling and I very matter of factly told my 9 year old son that I didn't want to miss my gym time and that he would be coming with me. I gave him notice when we were going and I took him. He really amazed me. He stayed on the treadmill for 20 minutes while I was on anther machine. I kept him busy for over an hour. When dad came home the following day, one of the first things my son told dad about was his trip to the gym.  I hadn't originally planned on taking my son, but I definitely will continue taking him. 

On Sat, Sep 4, 2010 at 1:34 PM, julie1013 <julie1013@...> wrote:

 

As someone who did similar things, I assure you this is not attention-seeking behavior. It comes from a feeling of helplessness, of having no control over one’s world, at being at the mercy of Society.

Try getting her to exercise. I know from firsthand experience how insanely important exercise is for the brain. It helped me through my teen years, and I figured it out by accident. Perhaps you have a workout DVD that you could do together, or maybe you could find more parents of kids with AS. You could get together a few times a week for a workout session so she sees that other kids like her are struggling with the same issues and are doing the workout with her.

On 9/4/10 1:23 PM, " " <doyourecycle@...> wrote:

 

 

   

I don't think the behavior is intentionally attention seeking. This is their mindset and our kids are wired differently than we are. Yes, I think your daughter needs help through this stuff. Try and make sure the counsellor/therapist has experience with kids on  the spectrum.  You may want to consider going to check out the person yourself before you get your daughter involved to see if they would be a match.

Please consider reading, " The Optimistic Child " by P. Seligman. This book is written for parents to help guide their children through re-defining the way our kids think. Honestly, it's been helpful to me, too. 

On Sat, Sep 4, 2010 at 12:19 PM, jennifer_thorson <jennifer_thorson@...> wrote:

 

 

 

   

She has PDD NOS and when she gets mad or angry she says it is the worst day of her life and she wants to die.  Sometimes when she is calm she will say nothing good happens to her and she has never had a good day.  Sometimes she will say she does not really want to die when she is calm.  I just told her she is on the spectrum and she did not have much of a reaction.  I don't know if she really heard me or understood.  She has said that kids call her weird and she is different so I thought it was time to tell her.  I talked to her about seeing a counselor to talk about how she feels and she agreed.  What do you think.  Sometimes when she slams the door and says she is going to put her finger in the socket I really worry she is going to do it.  Or is this just to get my attention?

 

   

 

 

   

[Guest guest]

Medication can be good, but I think it should be a last resort. When I went on medication, it was after running track for 2 1/2 years. The track helped tremendously. In fact, I think it was the majority piece, but the medication gave me that extra kick.

On 9/4/10 3:51 PM, " Vicki Reiter " <mom2emsar@...> wrote:

Exercise is so very important in depression and the brain....it not only increase the circulation to the brain but it also carries away waste from the brain faster. It also increase production of chemicals that are good for the brain such as endorphins which are the body's own natural pain killers and mood elevators. Sleep is also very important in mood and depression...not enough sleep or broken sleep can lead to depressed moods.

I would not rule out medication for depression because my older daughter used them for several months just to help her get out of the " dark " times and then she was off of them.

Vicki

-- Re: ( ) 8 year old says she wants to die

As someone who did similar things, I assure you this is not attention-seeking behavior. It comes from a feeling of helplessness, of having no control over one’s world, at being at the mercy of Society.

Try getting her to exercise. I know from firsthand experience how insanely important exercise is for the brain. It helped me through my teen years, and I figured it out by accident. Perhaps you have a workout DVD that you could do together, or maybe you could find more parents of kids with AS. You could get together a few times a week for a workout session so she sees that other kids like her are struggling with the same issues and are doing the workout with her.

On 9/4/10 1:23 PM, " " <doyourecycle@...> wrote:

I don't think the behavior is intentionally attention seeking. This is their mindset and our kids are wired differently than we are. Yes, I think your daughter needs help through this stuff. Try and make sure the counsellor/therapist has experience with kids on the spectrum. You may want to consider going to check out the person yourself before you get your daughter involved to see if they would be a match.

Please consider reading, " The Optimistic Child " by P. Seligman. This book is written for parents to help guide their children through re-defining the way our kids think. Honestly, it's been helpful to me, too.

On Sat, Sep 4, 2010 at 12:19 PM, jennifer_thorson <jennifer_thorson@...> wrote:

She has PDD NOS and when she gets mad or angry she says it is the worst day of her life and she wants to die. Sometimes when she is calm she will say nothing good happens to her and she has never had a good day. Sometimes she will say she does not really want to die when she is calm. I just told her she is on the spectrum and she did not have much of a reaction. I don't know if she really heard me or understood. She has said that kids call her weird and she is different so I thought it was time to tell her. I talked to her about seeing a counselor to talk about how she feels and she agreed. What do you think. Sometimes when she slams the door and says she is going to put her finger in the socket I really worry she is going to do it. Or is this just to get my attention?

<http://www.incredimail.com/?id=606431 & rui=117439840>

[Guest guest]

What I did first was to scrub how I reacted to shocking statements.

I totally stopped trying to reason with my daughter. She use to say

very upsetting things. I would say nothing and leave. I ignored

shocking statements. It had a good affect. At least I was not

adding to this behavior or prolonging it. But it did persist.

She was still depressed if something upsetting happened.

The next thing we did was to try a low dose of an antideprresent

(zoloft 12mg than 25mg to start) and since there was no

increase in agitation or anger we increased in another

2 months to 50mg. At this low dose (starting point is usually 50mg)

we saw a lift of the depressed thoughts. There is something

about our child (and maybe yours too) that when anger or

upset the mood shifts to a depressed state for sometimes up to an

hour.

The antidepressant did lift the depressed state of mind.

But there is still outbursts of rage around her obessions

with collecting some things. So it didn't totally

resolve emotional issues. She had no side effects

with the zoloft. So we are happy. Adding another

medication may help but I am holding off on the anti-psychotics.

In our case clearly our child can't manage her emotions

without medication and a very structured school and home setting.

Some kids with AS manage their emotions well and seem to

only have issues with restricted interests. It doesn't

sound like that is the case with your child.

If you start very low on the the anti depressant you can

watch carefully for any unwanted side effects and easily

stop the medication. We took it slow 12mg for about 3 weeks,

25 mg for over a month and then finally 50mg for almost

5 months until we got it to 75mg.

Best of luck, I hate to hear a child is so depressed. I

remember what that looked like in my daughter from

age 5 till 11. I sometimes regret I wanted so long on the

medication, but I was not sure what to do and she was

so young. Things got worse over time not better without

the medication.

Pam

>

> She has PDD NOS and when she gets mad or angry she says it is the worst day of

her life and she wants to die. Sometimes when she is calm she will say nothing

good happens to her and she has never had a good day. Sometimes she will say

she does not really want to die when she is calm. I just told her she is on the

spectrum and she did not have much of a reaction. I don't know if she really

heard me or understood. She has said that kids call her weird and she is

different so I thought it was time to tell her. I talked to her about seeing a

counselor to talk about how she feels and she agreed. What do you think.

Sometimes when she slams the door and says she is going to put her finger in the

socket I really worry she is going to do it. Or is this just to get my

attention?

>

[Guest guest]

My daughter wants more sleep but shares a room with her younger brother. He is

the opposite and never wants to sleep. She keeps asking for her own room. I

just cannot afford it. I let her sleep in as late as possible.

>

>

>

>

>

>

> She has PDD NOS and when she gets mad or angry she says it is the worst day

> of her life and she wants to die. Sometimes when she is calm she will say

> nothing good happens to her and she has never had a good day. Sometimes she

> will say she does not really want to die when she is calm. I just told her

> she is on the spectrum and she did not have much of a reaction. I don't

> know if she really heard me or understood. She has said that kids call her

> weird and she is different so I thought it was time to tell her. I talked

> to her about seeing a counselor to talk about how she feels and she agreed.

> What do you think. Sometimes when she slams the door and says she is going

> to put her finger in the socket I really worry she is going to do it. Or is

> this just to get my attention?

>

[Guest guest]

I have Depression myself with my Fibromyalgia and take medication myself. It

has helped a little. I would consider it for her but after seeing someone

first.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > She has PDD NOS and when she gets mad or angry she says it is the worst day

of

> > her life and she wants to die. Sometimes when she is calm she will say

> > nothing good happens to her and she has never had a good day. Sometimes she

> > will say she does not really want to die when she is calm. I just told her

> > she is on the spectrum and she did not have much of a reaction. I don't

know

> > if she really heard me or understood. She has said that kids call her weird

> > and she is different so I thought it was time to tell her. I talked to her

> > about seeing a counselor to talk about how she feels and she agreed. What

do

> > you think. Sometimes when she slams the door and says she is going to put

her

> > finger in the socket I really worry she is going to do it. Or is this just

to

> > get my attention?

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > <http://www.incredimail.com/?id=606431 & rui=117439840>

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

It would be worth investigating the possibility of food sensitivities (which

includes supplements and medications).

I've heard of children that become depressed and suicidal with certain food

additives. In addition to colours, preservatives etc, also look at natural

chemicals.

My son and I get depressed mood from salicylates in many fruits and veges - it

is not something we have control over. With me, I become very depressed; my son

will get either of irritable/angry/rage/depressed.

We chose fruit and veges lower in salicylates to manage this.

I also require medication, but without avoiding salicylates, they don't work as

effectively

Miranda

>

> She has PDD NOS and when she gets mad or angry she says it is the worst day of

her life and she wants to die. Sometimes when she is calm she will say nothing

good happens to her and she has never had a good day. Sometimes she will say

she does not really want to die when she is calm. I just told her she is on the

spectrum and she did not have much of a reaction. I don't know if she really

heard me or understood. She has said that kids call her weird and she is

different so I thought it was time to tell her. I talked to her about seeing a

counselor to talk about how she feels and she agreed. What do you think.

Sometimes when she slams the door and says she is going to put her finger in the

socket I really worry she is going to do it. Or is this just to get my

attention?

>

[Guest guest]

We did that for 2-3 years with no real changes after the first initial 6 months.

> >

> > She has PDD NOS and when she gets mad or angry she says it is the worst day

of her life and she wants to die. Sometimes when she is calm she will say

nothing good happens to her and she has never had a good day. Sometimes she

will say she does not really want to die when she is calm. I just told her she

is on the spectrum and she did not have much of a reaction. I don't know if she

really heard me or understood. She has said that kids call her weird and she is

different so I thought it was time to tell her. I talked to her about seeing a

counselor to talk about how she feels and she agreed. What do you think.

Sometimes when she slams the door and says she is going to put her finger in the

socket I really worry she is going to do it. Or is this just to get my

attention?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

If you've investigated diet thoroughly, then perhaps she does need medication?

Also cognitive behavioural therapy might help reframe her negative thinking.

Miranda

> > >

> > > She has PDD NOS and when she gets mad or angry she says it is the worst

day of her life and she wants to die. Sometimes when she is calm she will say

nothing good happens to her and she has never had a good day. Sometimes she

will say she does not really want to die when she is calm. I just told her she

is on the spectrum and she did not have much of a reaction. I don't know if she

really heard me or understood. She has said that kids call her weird and she is

different so I thought it was time to tell her. I talked to her about seeing a

counselor to talk about how she feels and she agreed. What do you think.

Sometimes when she slams the door and says she is going to put her finger in the

socket I really worry she is going to do it. Or is this just to get my

attention?

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

My son did this from age 5-14 or so; it was very upsetting. He has PDDNOS. I

talked to my family doc about it and he had good advice that worked for us.

Until then, I would acknowledge- you must be very frustrated and angry and

upset. I hear you and I love you and would miss you if you were not here. Not

sure it helped a lot, and I sure felt guilty that he would still say this. A

part of me thought he was trying to get a reaction from me; another part of me

thought he just can't handle these strong feelings.

The doctor suggested that I say instead: " When people threaten to kill

themselves, this is something that we need to take seriously. If you feel this

way, the doctor says that we need to go to the Emergency Room and get admitted

to a hospital that can help you. Please tell me if we need to do this. "

I never heard it again. He didn't realize how really inappropriate and

upsetting this was to others, and that others might take it seriously. He still

had emotional ups and downs, but somehow handled it better, and did not express

himself in that way, which was easier for me.

I don't know if this would be the solution for a younger child, but perhaps it

is something to talk about with your pediatrician or family doctor. Just wanted

to share what did work for us.

BTW, my son graduated college, lives with a roommate and is supporting himself.

He is not necessarily living the life I envisioned for him, but he is

independent, has friends, and is a lot happier than the past. Good luck.

>

> She has PDD NOS and when she gets mad or angry she says it is the worst day of

her life and she wants to die. Sometimes when she is calm she will say nothing

good happens to her and she has never had a good day. Sometimes she will say

she does not really want to die when she is calm. I just told her she is on the

spectrum and she did not have much of a reaction. I don't know if she really

heard me or understood. She has said that kids call her weird and she is

different so I thought it was time to tell her. I talked to her about seeing a

counselor to talk about how she feels and she agreed. What do you think.

Sometimes when she slams the door and says she is going to put her finger in the

socket I really worry she is going to do it. Or is this just to get my

attention?

>

[Guest guest]

Take her seriously is my suggestion. She might not actually plan to take her

life, but she is distraught/hurting/angry. Even if she is 'just trying to get

your attention', she is seeking your attention for a reason. This needs to be

addressed. Having Asperger's is so difficult and I know that my dd has said she

wishes she was dead before, too. She needs the support and to know how much she

is loved. The kids don't always express themselves the way we'd expect them to,

but they don't always know HOW to express what they are feeling and going

through. My dd has felt mad and even has wanted to 'get back' at kids who have

been cruel to her because she is 'weird'. The coping skills that are taught to

kids don't always work in real life--especially for an Asperger child.

Another thought: It might be frightening for a child to be told they might go to

a hospital, because then they might just hold in their feelings. My 9-year-old

dd would be afraid to be separated from me...many AS kids are extremely attached

to only one or two people and need the assurance that they won't 'lose' them.

For someone older and who can truly understand and not feel terrified by the

idea of getting help at a hospital setting and being separated from you, etc.,

it certainly could be a good way to explain that you love the child enough to

take him/her seriously and take the steps needed to protect them from harming

themselves (like the other poster mentioned). I don't think I'd feel comfortable

saying it to my dd-at least not at her age, etc.

A counselor who is familiar with Asperger's would be the best choice, if

available; but if not, a good caring children's counselor can still help too.

Take care.

Kari

> >

> > She has PDD NOS and when she gets mad or angry she says it is the worst day

of her life and she wants to die. Sometimes when she is calm she will say

nothing good happens to her and she has never had a good day. Sometimes she

will say she does not really want to die when she is calm. I just told her she

is on the spectrum and she did not have much of a reaction. I don't know if she

really heard me or understood. She has said that kids call her weird and she is

different so I thought it was time to tell her. I talked to her about seeing a

counselor to talk about how she feels and she agreed. What do you think.

Sometimes when she slams the door and says she is going to put her finger in the

socket I really worry she is going to do it. Or is this just to get my

attention?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi-- just wondering what fruits have salicylates?

> >

> > She has PDD NOS and when she gets mad or angry she says it is the worst day

of her life and she wants to die. Sometimes when she is calm she will say

nothing good happens to her and she has never had a good day. Sometimes she

will say she does not really want to die when she is calm. I just told her she

is on the spectrum and she did not have much of a reaction. I don't know if she

really heard me or understood. She has said that kids call her weird and she is

different so I thought it was time to tell her. I talked to her about seeing a

counselor to talk about how she feels and she agreed. What do you think.

Sometimes when she slams the door and says she is going to put her finger in the

socket I really worry she is going to do it. Or is this just to get my

attention?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

have a look at:

http://www.sswahs.nsw.gov.au/rpa/allergy/resources/foodintol/handbook.cfm

There are some food lists on-line, but aren't accurate or current. Salicylates

are natural asprin compounds in plants. I am sensitive to foods containing

salicylates, and medications related to asprin and ibuprofen (even applied to

skin) - they all give me severe depression plus other symptoms. Have heard of

others becoming depressed with salicylates also.

Of the top of my head:

Some things high in salicylates include honey, mint, strawberries, granny smith

apples, peanuts, lollies with fruit or mint flavours...

Low to moderate salicylates - red delicious apples, lettuce, cabbage, potato,

banana, peach, sweet potato, butternut pumpkin, green beans, peas...

> > >

> > > She has PDD NOS and when she gets mad or angry she says it is the worst

day of her life and she wants to die. Sometimes when she is calm she will say

nothing good happens to her and she has never had a good day. Sometimes she

will say she does not really want to die when she is calm. I just told her she

is on the spectrum and she did not have much of a reaction. I don't know if she

really heard me or understood. She has said that kids call her weird and she is

different so I thought it was time to tell her. I talked to her about seeing a

counselor to talk about how she feels and she agreed. What do you think.

Sometimes when she slams the door and says she is going to put her finger in the

socket I really worry she is going to do it. Or is this just to get my

attention?

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

It may be to get your attention but then, sounds like she needs your attention. This is how my ds acts when his depression gets out of hand. We use meds to help with it and they do help. Also, it's important to help her learn how to recognize and value the good parts to her life as well. My ds would say nothing ever good happens to him as well. Along with the meds, I started pointing out the good stuff that he fails to notice on his own. I say it as it's happening. Just yesterday he played a game online for practice for a history test and at the end, one kid said he wanted to be on my son's team next time. My ds didn't even notice that and then when pointed out, he said, "Yeah right" in a sarcastic tone. Then he went and got a 100% on the test. Not only did I mention it a few times, I reminded him how good it is to do that well and he also overheard me telling his dad about everything later last night.

It's not like he doesn't know these good things are happening, obviously. But it's as if he doesn't imprint these good things into his mind at all. Then when the depression overwhelms him, he can only think of the bad things - a Pessimist. So I have taken the job of his inner voice, in a way, to point out the good things small and large until such time as he starts noticing it for himself!

If this had not worked out, I would have started a journal with him to write down the good things. But he seemed to do fine with just verbally discussing it and then I remind him once in a while if he starts getting depressed-sounding. Also, the meds are completely 80% of the fix with my ds. without the meds, I had no way to get him over the hump long enough to appreciate anything.

I would worry if she is threatening to hurt herself but this seems to not be an uncommon problem to have among kids with HFA/AS who are prone to depression. Still, it is better to make sure she isn't going to do anything rash and see a doctor or psychiatrist to assess her and figure out how to deal with it. I got this book to look at but haven't had a chance to look at it yet -->The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Depression: A Step-by-step Program (Workbook) [Paperback] by

J. Knaus

If you go to Amazon.com and put teen depression into the search engine, they have a number of workbooks for teens that you could work on with her. But again, probably seeing a doctor first would be important to assess the situation.

Roxanna

"I

predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." - Jefferson

( ) 8 year old says she wants to die

She has PDD NOS and when she gets mad or angry she says it is the worst day of her life and she wants to die. Sometimes when she is calm she will say nothing good happens to her and she has never had a good day. Sometimes she will say she does not really want to die when she is calm. I just told her she is on the spectrum and she did not have much of a reaction. I don't know if she really heard me or understood. She has said that kids call her weird and she is different so I thought it was time to tell her. I talked to her about seeing a counselor to talk about how she feels and she agreed. What do you think. Sometimes when she slams the door and says she is going to put her finger in the socket I really worry she is going to do it. Or is this just to get my attention?

[Guest guest]

My 11 year old says the exact stuff... " just kill me " .. " i'm worthless " ... " noone

would notice " ..it's only when upset or criticized and it's just so

reactive..like his go to response. It's like a switch goes off and it comes out.

With time and coping skills become more integrated in his routine, this has

lessened...but the first few times were scary..but now we don't pay much

attention b/c he cools off and we know it's coming from an irrational place and

pure emotional deregulation.

Are your kids doing this in public? That will get them teased. Mine does it at

home only..and I run around the house closing any open windows.

For us, it doesn't help to discuss this in the moment , as he's irrational, but

maybe visit it later and talk about if he really feels that way.

>

> My 8 year old says things like that too! He has told us to just kill him when

he is having a bad day. He also tells me I would be better od without him and

that he doesn't deserve me. I talked to his therapist about this and she didn't

seem overly concerned. Maybe it just goes along with the fact that they have a

hard time controlling their emotions? I worry too that he means it and it

freaks me out to have my 8 year old talking like this. He has been complaining

that he is getting picked on @ school as well.....I suppose that will be

happening more and more as our kids get older:( I feel like my son is sad and

it makes you feel terrible as a mother.....Just wanted to let you know you are

not alone!

>

> ----------

> Sent from my Verizon Wireless mobile phone

>

[Guest guest]

I agree with "maurymb" my ds did the same thing for several yrs. my dh would tell him that if you feel suicidal, then you need to go to a psychiatric hospital where they can take care of you! My dh would say he would drive my son there himself. After a few episodes of this he finally seemed to catch on the seriousness of it. He knew is dad really would take him to a hospital and that he didn't really want to go to one. So I think he needed to learn to deal w/his feelings. He still has a difficult time managing his feelings & emotions. Granted, my ds is older than your dd but I wonder, is she also in any therapy? Therapy can help. Each day is a new day. I see him maturing everyday. At least he doesn't threaten suicide

anymore!