Re: Video Games: Good or Bad???

[Guest guest]

Hi Lori,

Our son, too, is a "natural born gamer".....he he.......I love that!!!

We've struggled over the years with "how much is too much", too,,,,,but now see it as this,,,,,,,,,,,,As long as he can get outside and get fresh air once in a while. As long as when someone comes over, he can hang with them to the best of his abilitiy. As long as he can spend time with us, too....well,,,,,then, why shouldn't he do what he is good at and enjoys.There were so many area's that he didn't "fit", that to know that he was good at it, sort of calmed him, if that makes sense.

Our computers have always been in the living room, so we could be a part of what the kids were doing, and we always tried to act interested in what he was doing so that he'd talk to us about it (and man,,,,did he talk aobut it.......he he).....

So, I think we all deserve to do what we enjoy as long as we can do what we are supposed to do.....ya know?

Sorry for the book.

Robin

From: Lori <have_faith_2008@...>Subject: ( ) Video Games: Good or Bad??? Date: Friday, December 4, 2009, 7:59 PM

Hello... Our son is 6 and is just now being evaluated for AS at the r=suggestion of his teacher. He has been playing quite well on his Nintendo DS since age 4 (when his sis was 8 and she got one, he quickly learned to play hers and the rest is history). I never intended to have my 4 year old playing a Nintendo DS, but he is so good at it and so into it. However, I can also see his social skill issues are not being helps by us letting him sink into the social background of our family while he quietly plays video games... So we are going to limit it more so we can encourage more social stimulus with all of us. However, I was just wondering what everyone thought of video games for AS kids? On one hand I could swear our son can read because of video games! He has learned tons of sight words I think from his DS games... Also, it is a source of expertise that can actually often serve as a bridge to have more in common with other boys in his class,

especially the ones with older sibs who are more exposed to video games. It is also a source of something he can feel good about because he is quite good at them, he is a natural born gamer. But are there down sides I am not seeing and how does everyone else view video games in the lives of your AS kids??? Thanks!

[Guest guest]

Our daughter (5) is a little gamer as well and has been playing on the DS for

over a year now. One thing we did was also get her a Leapster and a V-tech so

she could be learning as she was playing, and she is really enjoying all three.

It eased my conscious somewhat to have the games at least be educational.

To her it is a calming activity, and also her main interest of the moment. She

will tell anyone who calls or comes over about what she is playing, and all the

characters, etc. So it is helping her socialize, otherwise she will just say " I

have something I want to say…I have something I want to say…I have something… "

but never actually comes up with a conversation.

I know the general rule is that is bad for children to play too much, but I

think our special little ones have rules all of their own!

Amie

[Guest guest]

I have to admit that if it weren't for video games, I don't think my son, now 17) would have as many friends as he does.They were/are a great source of conversation with other guys who play the same games. Many of my son's friends do not have any disorders, but the games have brought them to a common ground. I don't know that at age 6, he had that many conversations/play dates with friends then, but beginning in 5th grade and upwards, this has been a great source of social circles. Even now, since last year, he and some other guys go to a certain place with his case manager during lunch where they have a social group and they discuss the latest games they are in the middle of playing-giving stradegies, tips, etc. They have developed this group on their own! They also discuss other issues that that they need to. It also has helped him go to other

people's house to play with their kid and get out some. He used to take his game everywhere we went so he'd be able to stay in the room where we were and be able to "survive" the outing with family. He loved to tell people what he was doing when asked.

It has helped him expand his social skills more so, I'd say, than formal groups. We do try and make him get out now and then. He goes to youth group on Friday nights when they have "3rd Fridays", and he's gone to youth camp for a week in the summer. He even went on a mission trip to Ohio. He's gone to different youth events out of town-with us holding our breath the entire time. But he managed to go without incident. And even though he used to spend a lot of time in his room playing the games, it relieved us of his outburst and rages. And making his sister's lives miserable with his annoying comments.

Now he comes down to "watch" episodes of his favorite stories online, so he is in the living room where the computer is, and is somewhat social. Some nights he does a lot of interacting and talking with the family.

So even though he has somewhat a limited view of things to speak about, he can carry on some conversation and even though some of it may be about games, it is something. It has allowed him to be more willing to talk with other people...

Hope this helps.

Melinda, mom to , 17, AS, ADHD, OCD

Casey, 15, NT

, 9, speech delay, testing for possible auditory issues

Zac, almost 3, LOTS OF ENERGY!

From: Lori <have_faith_2008@...>Subject: ( ) Video Games: Good or Bad??? Date: Friday, December 4, 2009, 5:59 PM

Hello... Our son is 6 and is just now being evaluated for AS at the r=suggestion of his teacher. He has been playing quite well on his Nintendo DS since age 4 (when his sis was 8 and she got one, he quickly learned to play hers and the rest is history). I never intended to have my 4 year old playing a Nintendo DS, but he is so good at it and so into it. However, I can also see his social skill issues are not being helps by us letting him sink into the social background of our family while he quietly plays video games... So we are going to limit it more so we can encourage more social stimulus with all of us. However, I was just wondering what everyone thought of video games for AS kids? On one hand I could swear our son can read because of video games! He has learned tons of sight words I think from his DS games... Also, it is a source of expertise that can actually often serve as a bridge to have more in common with other boys in his class,

especially the ones with older sibs who are more exposed to video games. It is also a source of something he can feel good about because he is quite good at them, he is a natural born gamer. But are there down sides I am not seeing and how does everyone else view video games in the lives of your AS kids??? Thanks!

[Guest guest]

Dylan (13) loves video games too. For us, it's all about balance. He needs to get some exercise and interact with his family so I ask him to play Animal Crossing or one of the other family friendly games w/ his little sister sometimes. I've also been known to tear up Ms. PacMan once or twice myself when we're playing 2 player. He used to be so impressed with my old school skills w/ Ms. PacMan but like all games, he quickly learned how to play very good himself. I won't let him play for hours at a time though. He'll take breaks and read, play his guitar, play legos, we'll play a board game, etc... As long as he takes care of what he needs to do first (clean his room, etc...) he can have a few hours a day of video games. During the school week, it's a little less (I'd say 2 hours, maximum).

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> Sent: Sat, December 5, 2009 8:03:41 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Video Games: Good or Bad???

Hi Lori,

Our son, too, is a "natural born gamer".....he he.......I love that!!!

We've struggled over the years with "how much is too much", too,,,,,but now see it as this,,,,,,,, ,,,,As long as he can get outside and get fresh air once in a while. As long as when someone comes over, he can hang with them to the best of his abilitiy. As long as he can spend time with us, too....well, ,,,,then, why shouldn't he do what he is good at and enjoys.There were so many area's that he didn't "fit", that to know that he was good at it, sort of calmed him, if that makes sense.

Our computers have always been in the living room, so we could be a part of what the kids were doing, and we always tried to act interested in what he was doing so that he'd talk to us about it (and man,,,,did he talk aobut it.......he he).....

So, I think we all deserve to do what we enjoy as long as we can do what we are supposed to do.....ya know?

Sorry for the book.

Robin

From: Lori <have_faith_2008>Subject: ( ) Video Games: Good or Bad??? Date: Friday, December 4, 2009, 7:59 PM

Hello... Our son is 6 and is just now being evaluated for AS at the r=suggestion of his teacher. He has been playing quite well on his Nintendo DS since age 4 (when his sis was 8 and she got one, he quickly learned to play hers and the rest is history). I never intended to have my 4 year old playing a Nintendo DS, but he is so good at it and so into it. However, I can also see his social skill issues are not being helps by us letting him sink into the social background of our family while he quietly plays video games... So we are going to limit it more so we can encourage more social stimulus with all of us. However, I was just wondering what everyone thought of video games for AS kids? On one hand I could swear our son can read because of video games! He has learned tons of sight words I think from his DS games... Also, it is a source of expertise that can actually often serve as a bridge to have more in common with other boys in his class,

especially the ones with older sibs who are more exposed to video games. It is also a source of something he can feel good about because he is quite good at them, he is a natural born gamer. But are there down sides I am not seeing and how does everyone else view video games in the lives of your AS kids??? Thanks!

[Guest guest]

It's the same with our son. Being good at gaming brought a lot of kids into his life over the years than had he not had the games.

Now,,,,,most didn't stick around to become long-lasting friends, but they did come around.

And I gotta say that it made him feel confident and good,,,,that he knew things and could help others, as well as us feeling good that kids actually wanted to hang with him.....although off and on over the years.

Robin

From: Lori <have_faith_2008>Subject: ( ) Video Games: Good or Bad??? Date: Friday, December 4, 2009, 5:59 PM

Hello... Our son is 6 and is just now being evaluated for AS at the r=suggestion of his teacher. He has been playing quite well on his Nintendo DS since age 4 (when his sis was 8 and she got one, he quickly learned to play hers and the rest is history). I never intended to have my 4 year old playing a Nintendo DS, but he is so good at it and so into it. However, I can also see his social skill issues are not being helps by us letting him sink into the social background of our family while he quietly plays video games... So we are going to limit it more so we can encourage more social stimulus with all of us. However, I was just wondering what everyone thought of video games for AS kids? On one hand I could swear our son can read because of video games! He has learned tons of sight words I think from his DS games... Also, it is a source of expertise that can actually often serve as a bridge to have more in common with other boys in his class,

especially the ones with older sibs who are more exposed to video games. It is also a source of something he can feel good about because he is quite good at them, he is a natural born gamer. But are there down sides I am not seeing and how does everyone else view video games in the lives of your AS kids??? Thanks!

[Guest guest]

aspie kids need structure and video games should be restricted at the best.. our

17 yr old only plays maybe for an hour a week.. we have him on behavior plan..

similar to the world's strictest parents and very happy with our successes

although we had many bumpy roads to start off.

limit tv, games, computer.. give them chores and get them outside on supervised

activities.. structure is key!

>

> Hello... Our son is 6 and is just now being evaluated for AS at the

r=suggestion of his teacher. He has been playing quite well on his Nintendo DS

since age 4 (when his sis was 8 and she got one, he quickly learned to play hers

and the rest is history). I never intended to have my 4 year old playing a

Nintendo DS, but he is so good at it and so into it. However, I can also see

his social skill issues are not being helps by us letting him sink into the

social background of our family while he quietly plays video games... So we are

going to limit it more so we can encourage more social stimulus with all of us.

However, I was just wondering what everyone thought of video games for AS kids?

On one hand I could swear our son can read because of video games! He has

learned tons of sight words I think from his DS games... Also, it is a source

of expertise that can actually often serve as a bridge to have more in common

with other boys in his class, especially the ones with older sibs who are more

exposed to video games. It is also a source of something he can feel good about

because he is quite good at them, he is a natural born gamer. But are there

down sides I am not seeing and how does everyone else view video games in the

lives of your AS kids??? Thanks!

>

[Guest guest]

I don't allow free access to much. TV/computer/special interests

are used a rewards for things she has trouble cooperating with.

In the summer especially I limit assess to technology. She has

to get out in the day and broaden interests than after 3pm she

can relax at home with these things for an hour. Then if she

is respectful toward me she can earn more technology time.

If she takes a shower and other hygiene is done by 7pm she

can earn another 30min.

For us screen time before bed affects falling asleep so I try to limit it.

My daughter is an expert on youtube, making webpages and kids

do admire that. But my daughter gets very obessive about things

and I have a hard time with having her keep to a reasonable

schedule. So this is why I use it as a reward for following

her behavior plan.

We try to focus her time though on spending her day doing

things that can learn to a job.

Pam

-- In , " Lori " <have_faith_2008@...> wrote:

>

> Hello... Our son is 6 and is just now being evaluated for AS at the

r=suggestion of his teacher. He has been playing quite well on his Nintendo DS

since age 4 (when his sis was 8 and she got one, he quickly learned to play hers

and the rest is history). I never intended to have my 4 year old playing a

Nintendo DS, but he is so good at it and so into it. However, I can also see

his social skill issues are not being helps by us letting him sink into the

social background of our family while he quietly plays video games... So we are

going to limit it more so we can encourage more social stimulus with all of us.

However, I was just wondering what everyone thought of video games for AS kids?

On one hand I could swear our son can read because of video games! He has

learned tons of sight words I think from his DS games... Also, it is a source

of expertise that can actually often serve as a bridge to have more in common

with other boys in his class, especially the ones with older sibs who are more

exposed to video games. It is also a source of something he can feel good about

because he is quite good at them, he is a natural born gamer. But are there

down sides I am not seeing and how does everyone else view video games in the

lives of your AS kids??? Thanks!

>

[Guest guest]

Well, even though it is not considered a video game, our daughter taught

" herself " how to read by age 4 using my older daughters " leap pad " . and i dont

mean copying, but actually reading things.

we had gotten a wii on suggestion of our neurologist. not because of

coordination, but she can interact with the game overline better than doing it

in person. we had gotten her games that are non competative (she doesnt like

competition) and has done great. and has had great sucess with such things as

wii sims, sims animals, and animal crossing city folk. and with the animal

crossing one she has a thing called wii speak that allows her to actually speak

over the tv to anyone else that has the wii speak accessorie also while she is

playing the game and they come to visit her town or she visits theirs.

>

> Hello... Our son is 6 and is just now being evaluated for AS at the

r=suggestion of his teacher. He has been playing quite well on his Nintendo DS

since age 4 (when his sis was 8 and she got one, he quickly learned to play hers

and the rest is history). I never intended to have my 4 year old playing a

Nintendo DS, but he is so good at it and so into it. However, I can also see

his social skill issues are not being helps by us letting him sink into the

social background of our family while he quietly plays video games... So we are

going to limit it more so we can encourage more social stimulus with all of us.

However, I was just wondering what everyone thought of video games for AS kids?

On one hand I could swear our son can read because of video games! He has

learned tons of sight words I think from his DS games... Also, it is a source

of expertise that can actually often serve as a bridge to have more in common

with other boys in his class, especially the ones with older sibs who are more

exposed to video games. It is also a source of something he can feel good about

because he is quite good at them, he is a natural born gamer. But are there

down sides I am not seeing and how does everyone else view video games in the

lives of your AS kids??? Thanks!

>

[Guest guest]

My motto is, " Everything in moderation. " Video games are great for a

lot of things. One thing that occurred that we did not see coming was

my oldest ds (almost 21 yo now! - hfa) is extremely talented with

computers and is going to go into that field of study. So all those

years of communicating with nintendo might just pay off someday....lol.

Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

( ) Video Games: Good or Bad???

Hello... Our son is 6 and is just now being evaluated for AS at the

r=suggestion of his teacher. He has been playing quite well on his

Nintendo DS since age 4 (when his sis was 8 and she got one, he quickly

learned to play hers and the rest is history). I never intended to

have my 4 year old playing a Nintendo DS, but he is so good at it and

so into it. However, I can also see his social skill issues are not

being helps by us letting him sink into the social background of our

family while he quietly plays video games... So we are going to limit

it more so we can encourage more social stimulus with all of us.

However, I was just wondering what everyone thought of video games for

AS kids? On one hand I could swear our son can read because of video

games! He has learned tons of sight words I think from his DS games...

Also, it is a source of expertise that can actually often serve as a

bridge to have more in common with other boys in his class, especially

the ones with older sibs who are more exposed to video games. It is

also a source of something he can feel good about because he is quite

good at them, he is a natural born gamer. But are there down sides I

am not seeing and how does everyone else view video games in the lives

of your AS kids??? Thanks!

[Guest guest]

" atwhetson " can you give us some ideas of how much time doing chores each day

and the type of indpendence skills you taught and when.

I still think I do not have my daughter doing enough for herself and around the

house. She is 12 and very obessed with her interests to the exclusion of

everything around her.

Pam

> >

> > Hello... Our son is 6 and is just now being evaluated for AS at the

r=suggestion of his teacher. He has been playing quite well on his Nintendo DS

since age 4 (when his sis was 8 and she got one, he quickly learned to play hers

and the rest is history). I never intended to have my 4 year old playing a

Nintendo DS, but he is so good at it and so into it. However, I can also see

his social skill issues are not being helps by us letting him sink into the

social background of our family while he quietly plays video games... So we are

going to limit it more so we can encourage more social stimulus with all of us.

However, I was just wondering what everyone thought of video games for AS kids?

On one hand I could swear our son can read because of video games! He has

learned tons of sight words I think from his DS games... Also, it is a source

of expertise that can actually often serve as a bridge to have more in common

with other boys in his class, especially the ones with older sibs who are more

exposed to video games. It is also a source of something he can feel good about

because he is quite good at them, he is a natural born gamer. But are there

down sides I am not seeing and how does everyone else view video games in the

lives of your AS kids??? Thanks!

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you to everyone who replied about the video games... It is great to hear

other parents talk about video games calming their child and it being a path to

more social interaction with other kids who also do gaming. I sometimes feel

like I should be limiting his gaming more, but at the same time, it is something

he feels very confident about and I do think it will help him have more in

common with other kids. Also, I think he is the personality type where he is

fairly easy going, considering, so as long as he is doing what he is supposed to

do, I feel like what many of you said reinforces my instinct to allow him this

in his life, so long as he also varies it with playing and spending time with us

and drawing and other things he loves to do. Thank you again, it is very

helpful to hear...

> >

> > Hello... Our son is 6 and is just now being evaluated for AS at the

r=suggestion of his teacher. He has been playing quite well on his Nintendo DS

since age 4 (when his sis was 8 and she got one, he quickly learned to play hers

and the rest is history). I never intended to have my 4 year old playing a

Nintendo DS, but he is so good at it and so into it. However, I can also see

his social skill issues are not being helps by us letting him sink into the

social background of our family while he quietly plays video games... So we are

going to limit it more so we can encourage more social stimulus with all of us.

However, I was just wondering what everyone thought of video games for AS kids?

On one hand I could swear our son can read because of video games! He has

learned tons of sight words I think from his DS games... Also, it is a source

of expertise that can actually often serve as a bridge to have more in common

with other boys in his class, especially the ones with older sibs who are more

exposed to video games. It is also a source of something he can feel good about

because he is quite good at them, he is a natural born gamer. But are there

down sides I am not seeing and how does everyone else view video games in the

lives of your AS kids??? Thanks!

> >

>

[Guest guest]

We let our son play video games. The specialist in our area strongly supports

letting aspies do this, in moderation of course. It's such a big part of teen

and pre-teen society, that a kid who doesn't play any video games is at a social

disadvantage.

Naturally we monitor the amount of time and the types of games that he plays.

And when he has a friend over, we don't allow single player games since that

would leave someone out. The friend is generally another aspie, btw.

Bronwyn

>

> Thank you to everyone who replied about the video games... It is great to

hear other parents talk about video games calming their child and it being a

path to more social interaction with other kids who also do gaming. I sometimes

feel like I should be limiting his gaming more, but at the same time, it is

something he feels very confident about and I do think it will help him have

more in common with other kids. Also, I think he is the personality type where

he is fairly easy going, considering, so as long as he is doing what he is

supposed to do, I feel like what many of you said reinforces my instinct to

allow him this in his life, so long as he also varies it with playing and

spending time with us and drawing and other things he loves to do. Thank you

again, it is very helpful to hear...

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My son has great plans to work for Nintendo when he grows up, and he plans to

work part-time for the Lego company too. He's only 8, but at least he's got a

goal! He did improve his reading with his DS games. The wii games would be

good for his balance and coordination, but I can't get him interested in those.

Wii fit plus has a skateboard game that is really fun but he won't play it. We

allow about an hour on school nights after homework is done, and more time on

weekends if we're home and the bedroom is cleaned up. But I have to admit there

are times when I have to physically remove the DS from his hands to get him to

move on to the next thing.

> >

> > Thank you to everyone who replied about the video games... It is great to

hear other parents talk about video games calming their child and it being a

path to more social interaction with other kids who also do gaming. I sometimes

feel like I should be limiting his gaming more, but at the same time, it is

something he feels very confident about and I do think it will help him have

more in common with other kids. Also, I think he is the personality type where

he is fairly easy going, considering, so as long as he is doing what he is

supposed to do, I feel like what many of you said reinforces my instinct to

allow him this in his life, so long as he also varies it with playing and

spending time with us and drawing and other things he loves to do. Thank you

again, it is very helpful to hear...

> >

> >

> >

>