Guest guest Posted March 30, 2011 Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 Wow.....sigh. Well,,,,,my son does fine academically. But....needs reminders to put his personal books away during class. He gets bored and starts to read what HE wants. He has to be reminded to stay on task. Academically,,,,like I said, he fits in with the others....academically. Heck...I even have the teachers say that they wish the other kids wanted to be as involved and excited (sometimes in an immature way) that Ian is. BUT........he has no one. No one seeks him out. No one asks him to sit with them at lunch. No one asks him to hang out. No one. Over the years, he has had some call him after school. THese in all honesty have been other gamer kids who are in lots of trouble. But....they know that Ian is into computers and games, so they'd call for what they needed. We pulled him out after 5th grade and did a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade. It was wonderful for him and his self esteem. He made the choice to go back to public school. Does he get picked on? Not like in Elementary. He says he doesn't. But......he gets no social skills classes. I don't really care,,,,cause when he was in K-5, he DID have social skills "classes" that were given on Fridays for 1/2 an hour. Yipppeee. So...........does it work for him? Yeah....kinda. He's learning. We've always supplemented at home with all the kiddo's. Is school providing him with positive social experiences? No....but it's not their job. This is where my son lacks.......and he always will. But..........he really doesn't seem to care. He goes through times when he is very talkative and more "personable". THen, there are times when he does what he needs to and enjoys his time....alone. I personally don't think kids can be successfully integrated. Sure,,,,they can make it to graduation. They can become successful. Maybe a few end up with a friend here or there. But.......what do you consider "successful"? SIgh.............now I'm depressed. he he. Robin From: EV Downey <dcmusicteacher@...>Subject: ( ) Inclusion vs. self-contained/special schools vs. homeschooled Date: Wednesday, March 30, 2011, 11:46 AM Just curious how many of you out there have kids who are successfully being served in an inclusion setting (basically involved in the class, perhaps even invited to a birthday party of 2, by the actual student). How many of you think self-contained is the way to go with Aspie's and/or are successfully managing to get the social skills in the right place even tho kid is in self-contained. How many of you just gave up on the whole thing and are homeschooling? Not trying to start a debate or anything because I'm sure that what works for one doesn't work for all. Just curious if there is a critical mass of kids out there who are actually successfully integrated in NT classrooms. Having a little debate with the HFA/AS experts here in our school district. Specifically in the older years -- my son is in 3rd grade -- as I think it gets much harder socially. Thanks!E.V. Downey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2011 Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 My son is 8 years old and in 3rd grade. He was just diagnosed a week ago. He is fine in regular school. His teacher thinks he is amazing. He has a "play date" once a week at a friend's house. He can basically keep it together but once he gets home he has major melt downs. I've read that this is not uncommon. I think in my sons case it would be damaging to home school him. I can't speak for anyone else because every child is different. I think my son has learned to function by mirroring the behaviors of those around him. I know he struggles at times because he says he doesn't feel like anyone likes him. He has also had situations where he says no one wants to play with him when he actually tells the other kids he won't play with him if they don't play what he wants them to. Luckily one of his obsessions is common among kids his age (lego star wars). He has also been in the same school/day care since he was 3 and i live in a small community. Sent via DROID on Verizon Wireless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2011 Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 My son is 15 and he is in mainstream, with only a special Study Skills class, where he can do is homework. This has been the case allo through his schooling. He has been able to keep friendships, and we have had Birthday Parties with about 4-5 kids every year, he has been invited to some. I personally would not want to seclude in from having the "normal" schooling experience unless you have too. Kendra From: EV Downey <dcmusicteacher@...>Subject: ( ) Inclusion vs. self-contained/special schools vs. homeschooled Date: Wednesday, March 30, 2011, 4:46 PM Just curious how many of you out there have kids who are successfully being served in an inclusion setting (basically involved in the class, perhaps even invited to a birthday party of 2, by the actual student). How many of you think self-contained is the way to go with Aspie's and/or are successfully managing to get the social skills in the right place even tho kid is in self-contained. How many of you just gave up on the whole thing and are homeschooling? Not trying to start a debate or anything because I'm sure that what works for one doesn't work for all. Just curious if there is a critical mass of kids out there who are actually successfully integrated in NT classrooms. Having a little debate with the HFA/AS experts here in our school district. Specifically in the older years -- my son is in 3rd grade -- as I think it gets much harder socially. Thanks!E.V. Downey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2011 Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 My daughter is 13, and in a school for kids learning disorders like dyslexia, even though she is a great reader. She was so overwhelmed in public school from an early age. She has always been socially isolated, I was able to set up playdates with girls up to grade 4 weekly and this really helped. I would pick a peer up from school have a craft and a snack and then some free time. What I think helps some is to have 1:1 with a typical peer in speech therapy to sustain conversaations with a typical peer. But the schools are so resistent to play for this. The peer is still likely not to be a friend but my daughter at least gets to know what typcial peers are interested in talking about. Pam something and the details of things. > > Just curious how many of you out there have kids who are successfully being > served in an inclusion setting (basically involved in the class, perhaps > even invited to a birthday party of 2, by the actual student). How many of > you think self-contained is the way to go with Aspie's and/or are > successfully managing to get the social skills in the right place even tho > kid is in self-contained. How many of you just gave up on the whole thing > and are homeschooling? Not trying to start a debate or anything because I'm > sure that what works for one doesn't work for all. Just curious if there is > a critical mass of kids out there who are actually successfully integrated > in NT classrooms. Having a little debate with the HFA/AS experts here in > our school district. Specifically in the older years -- my son is in 3rd > grade -- as I think it gets much harder socially. Thanks! > > E.V. Downey > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2011 Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 Hi, I am new to the group....my son was in an inclusion classroom til 3rd grade and then mainstreamed. He has done very well esp in those middle years. He does well academically....socially he was fine until 7th grade...we started to notice he got more self conscious, more aware he was slightly 'different'. Its been alittle tough on him, but the kids all seem to like him enough, just doesnt have any real close friendships:( we need to work on that now.....good luck -rita Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2011 Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 Thanks for the responses so far. Like I said, I don't think there's a " right " answer. I just want to hear about other people's successes and what works and doesn't work. Our son is 9, in 3rd grade, has always been in inclusion. He has 2 very close friends (really, really good relationships) so I know it can be done, but other than that he has some acquaintances and then mostly has trouble initiating and continuing appropriate conversations (like not droning on about his own topic of interest). Until yesterday he was in inclusion and today he started in a self-contained classic autism classroom. Some of you might remember that he was assaulted by his dedicated aide back on February 1. He has been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and has lost 12% of his body weight, was severely agoraphobic, depressed, extremely anxious, etc. etc. The school district has done VERY little for him and we have filed suit for the assault. The only thing they could come up with was either returning him to his old classroom with no chill out room (because that's where he was assaulted) or this self-contained classroom. There's 5 other kids who are academically/functioning about 5-8 years below where my son is (at least). However, he did get his old aide back (who we LOVE) and they are making a little program for him. He was happy as can be when I picked him up, it's in our neighborhood so it's not far (they are going to bus him though since I have my daughter at the old school), and he's safe. I think it would be really bad/hard for him to be homeschooled because he loves other people and wants to be with them. He and I are very close, but we would definitely bounce off each other being together 24/7. Anyway, keep the stories coming. I have been trying to talk the school district into a self-contained HFA/Asperger's classroom as an option (these kids are all either funded for private programs or in inclusion). My son wants to be in a classroom with other Aspies, but they just think it's unnecessary. Anyway, the kids in his old classroom were really quite wonderful to him, but, like I said, it's different than being truly " included " as part of the whole. E.V. On Wed, Mar 30, 2011 at 7:24 PM, rita g <gingras440@...> wrote:  Hi, I am new to the group....my son was in an inclusion classroom til 3rd grade and then mainstreamed. He has done very well esp in those middle years. He does well academically....socially he was fine until 7th grade...we started to notice he got more self conscious, more aware he was slightly 'different'. Its been alittle tough on him, but the kids all seem to like him enough, just doesnt have any real close friendships:( we need to work on that now.....good luck -rita Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2011 Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 Not sure what exactly is the right answer here. My son was in inclusion classrooms while in elementary grades, but we didn't get a correct diagnosis of Aspergers until 5th grade. Before that he was considered ADHD and he "functioned". He got good grades but no friends and had many, many issues with bullying and sensory issues which were consider "bad behavior" until he got a proper dx. Middleschool he started out with some classes being inclusion (math, reading, lang arts) and the rest regular ed. Again, lots of issues mainly with the increase of social skills being more important and he lacked those significantly. Also, a lot of his issue were due to teachers not understanding Aspergers and having no clue how to work with my son. This of course made his self esteem and anxiety worse. We finally chose a self-contained classroom after the first nine weeks of this school year because things got so bad. But, again wrong answer. I don't think it was actually the self contained classroom in itself as it was the programing they used in this particular class. It was not geared towards special needs children or AS kids, but toward kids with behavior issues. And in there lies the problem. While AS kids often have behavior issues, that is NOT their main deficit area. The behaviors often come from other issues not being address appropriately. We are now having him slowly re-integrated into mainstream setting. However, still with a one-on-one aide and in inclusion classrooms. So, what is best? Who knows for sure. Different things work for different kids. But to me, neither is an appropriate setting if the teachers, faculty, and administration do not understand Aspergers and do not promote a supportive, accepting and nurturing environment. Social skills in a regular ed/inclusion environment can be more damaging that none at all. My son was bullied so much that he began to mirror the same behavior at times to fit in. He did gain some acceptance with the kids by doing this, but then labled as a "problem" by the teachers. He thought when the kids laughed that they "liked" him and thought he was funny. Little did he know that they were laughing AT him and he was their source of entertainment. They would even tell him to do things or dare him, knowing he would do it because he wanted to be liked. Then he was the one getting in trouble and they thought it was all so funny. The key is to be able to provide these kids with POSITIVE peer role modeling from NT peers. This takes effort on the part of the school. Not something most schools (from my experience) want to put forth. ne From: EV Downey <dcmusicteacher@...>Subject: ( ) Inclusion vs. self-contained/special schools vs. homeschooled Date: Wednesday, March 30, 2011, 12:46 PM Just curious how many of you out there have kids who are successfully being served in an inclusion setting (basically involved in the class, perhaps even invited to a birthday party of 2, by the actual student). How many of you think self-contained is the way to go with Aspie's and/or are successfully managing to get the social skills in the right place even tho kid is in self-contained. How many of you just gave up on the whole thing and are homeschooling? Not trying to start a debate or anything because I'm sure that what works for one doesn't work for all. Just curious if there is a critical mass of kids out there who are actually successfully integrated in NT classrooms. Having a little debate with the HFA/AS experts here in our school district. Specifically in the older years -- my son is in 3rd grade -- as I think it gets much harder socially. Thanks!E.V. Downey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 My son was in an inclusion class in kindergarten and 1st grade. He was moved to a mainstream 2nd grade class because the inclusion class in the school where we were was not academically on grade level. 2nd grade was okay - not great ... He had 1 friend who had more issues than my son does and a couple of kids liked him... This is all pre-diagnosis but he was still getting services - physical therapy, occupational, speech. For third grade we moved and he started in the mainstream at a new school ... he made one friend -- a child no one else got along with, and then started having difficulties. Calls from the principal, a teacher who had no clue how to teach him.. Everyone was nice but they just didn't know how to handle him. The school psychologist suggested we look elsewhere and made it very easy to transfer into a private special needs school paid for by the board of education. We were fortunate to have no bullying issues in either school ... Max is now happy at a special needs school in a class of 11 with one teacher and two assistants. Pragmatic language and social skills are each a class everyone gets once a week plus he gets his therapies in groups so everything is a mini social skill class. He swims 2x a week and adapted phys ed 2x week; There are a few asperger kids in his class, some adhd, some learning disabled. There is no bullying or teasing. It's a slice of heaven, really. > > Just curious how many of you out there have kids who are successfully being > served in an inclusion setting (basically involved in the class, perhaps > even invited to a birthday party of 2, by the actual student). How many of > you think self-contained is the way to go with Aspie's and/or are > successfully managing to get the social skills in the right place even tho > kid is in self-contained. How many of you just gave up on the whole thing > and are homeschooling? Not trying to start a debate or anything because I'm > sure that what works for one doesn't work for all. Just curious if there is > a critical mass of kids out there who are actually successfully integrated > in NT classrooms. Having a little debate with the HFA/AS experts here in > our school district. Specifically in the older years -- my son is in 3rd > grade -- as I think it gets much harder socially. Thanks! > > E.V. Downey > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 My 7 year old DS is not formally diagnosed but I believe he is " a little bit Aspie " . He too gets stuck demanding he wants to do one thing during playdates even though the friend has other ideas. If we have playdates more than one or two days in a row, he gets what I call " compromise fatigue " . The first playdate goes well, then he becomes a little more rigid the next day and after that, well he just needs a break. He too loves LEGO Star Wars and that is an activity that helps bridge the gap during playdates, along with scooters and Super Soakers. As for schooling... DS had so many behavior problems during kindergarten that we reduced his hours to half time mid-year. This year I am teaching him academics at home in the mornings, and he goes to public first grade in the regular classroom in the afternoons for extras like Spanish, music and art. He eats lunch at home before he goes in (the cafeteria was a big trigger) and some days I take him to the playground but I always stay to keep an eye on him. Most days he joins in for soccer but once in a while there will be conflict or he will get too physical. I try to speak with him about it before he goes into the classroom. He's not exactly cooperative in the classroom, but his teacher this year is much more flexible and accomodating than his kindergarten teacher was. Also since he's only there for a few hours he doesn't get so worn out and he can usually keep it together until he gets home. And when he's at home with me in the mornings he is working at his own pace (that is, faster than his peers). In kindergarten he wasn't at all intellectually stimulated so he was bored silly. I know part time homeschooling is uncommon and I may be the only one in our district doing it. I asked and they accomodated me. If anybody wants more info on our HS arrangement, email me privately. in Colorado > > My son is 8 years old and in 3rd grade. He was just diagnosed a week ago. > He is fine in regular school. His teacher thinks he is amazing. He has a > " play date " once a week at a friend's house. He can basically keep it > together but once he gets home he has major melt downs. I've read that this > is not uncommon. I think in my sons case it would be damaging to home > school him. I can't speak for anyone else because every child is different. > I think my son has learned to function by mirroring the behaviors of those > around him. I know he struggles at times because he says he doesn't feel > like anyone likes him. He has also had situations where he says no one > wants to play with him when he actually tells the other kids he won't play > with him if they don't play what he wants them to. Luckily one of his > obsessions is common among kids his age (lego star wars). He has also been > in the same school/day care since he was 3 and i live in a small community. > > > Sent via DROID on Verizon Wireless > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 When you say "inclusion classroom" what do you exactly mean? In our school district...inclusion classes are classe of a mixture of children...some with IEP's and some w/out. The main point is that the special edu. children are mised in with reg. ed. children and have the same curriculum....the only difference is that there is a regular ed. teacher and a special ed. teacher in the class room. Special Ed. classes (pull out) are basically that...special ed ..they go at a slower pace...but now get the same curriculum. There is a Special Ed. teacher and a small # of kids in the class. So, I am not sure what you are meaning when you say "inclusion"? j "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position From: susanne hansen <s_hansen34@...> Sent: Wed, March 30, 2011 10:39:22 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Inclusion vs. self-contained/special schools vs. homeschooled Not sure what exactly is the right answer here. My son was in inclusion classrooms while in elementary grades, but we didn't get a correct diagnosis of Aspergers until 5th grade. Before that he was considered ADHD and he "functioned". He got good grades but no friends and had many, many issues with bullying and sensory issues which were consider "bad behavior" until he got a proper dx. Middleschool he started out with some classes being inclusion (math, reading, lang arts) and the rest regular ed. Again, lots of issues mainly with the increase of social skills being more important and he lacked those significantly. Also, a lot of his issue were due to teachers not understanding Aspergers and having no clue how to work with my son. This of course made his self esteem and anxiety worse. We finally chose a self-contained classroom after the first nine weeks of this school year because things got so bad. But, again wrong answer. I don't think it was actually the self contained classroom in itself as it was the programing they used in this particular class. It was not geared towards special needs children or AS kids, but toward kids with behavior issues. And in there lies the problem. While AS kids often have behavior issues, that is NOT their main deficit area. The behaviors often come from other issues not being address appropriately. We are now having him slowly re-integrated into mainstream setting. However, still with a one-on-one aide and in inclusion classrooms. So, what is best? Who knows for sure. Different things work for different kids. But to me, neither is an appropriate setting if the teachers, faculty, and administration do not understand Aspergers and do not promote a supportive, accepting and nurturing environment. Social skills in a regular ed/inclusion environment can be more damaging that none at all. My son was bullied so much that he began to mirror the same behavior at times to fit in. He did gain some acceptance with the kids by doing this, but then labled as a "problem" by the teachers. He thought when the kids laughed that they "liked" him and thought he was funny. Little did he know that they were laughing AT him and he was their source of entertainment. They would even tell him to do things or dare him, knowing he would do it because he wanted to be liked. Then he was the one getting in trouble and they thought it was all so funny. The key is to be able to provide these kids with POSITIVE peer role modeling from NT peers. This takes effort on the part of the school. Not something most schools (from my experience) want to put forth. ne From: EV Downey <dcmusicteacher@...>Subject: ( ) Inclusion vs. self-contained/special schools vs. homeschooled Date: Wednesday, March 30, 2011, 12:46 PM Just curious how many of you out there have kids who are successfully being served in an inclusion setting (basically involved in the class, perhaps even invited to a birthday party of 2, by the actual student). How many of you think self-contained is the way to go with Aspie's and/or are successfully managing to get the social skills in the right place even tho kid is in self-contained. How many of you just gave up on the whole thing and are homeschooling? Not trying to start a debate or anything because I'm sure that what works for one doesn't work for all. Just curious if there is a critical mass of kids out there who are actually successfully integrated in NT classrooms. Having a little debate with the HFA/AS experts here in our school district. Specifically in the older years -- my son is in 3rd grade -- as I think it gets much harder socially. Thanks!E.V. Downey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 Inclusion is where everyone is in general NOT special Ed and then your kid is the only Aspie and quite possibly the only sped kid in the class. I would love to have a public Aspie classroom in our district but the experts think that it's not necessary. My son is tired of feeling so alone. Sent from my iPadOn Mar 31, 2011, at 9:28 PM, rushen janice <jrushen@...> wrote: When you say "inclusion classroom" what do you exactly mean? In our school district...inclusion classes are classe of a mixture of children...some with IEP's and some w/out. The main point is that the special edu. children are mised in with reg. ed. children and have the same curriculum....the only difference is that there is a regular ed. teacher and a special ed. teacher in the class room. Special Ed. classes (pull out) are basically that...special ed ..they go at a slower pace...but now get the same curriculum. There is a Special Ed. teacher and a small # of kids in the class. So, I am not sure what you are meaning when you say "inclusion"? j "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position From: susanne hansen <s_hansen34@...> Sent: Wed, March 30, 2011 10:39:22 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Inclusion vs. self-contained/special schools vs. homeschooled Not sure what exactly is the right answer here. My son was in inclusion classrooms while in elementary grades, but we didn't get a correct diagnosis of Aspergers until 5th grade. Before that he was considered ADHD and he "functioned". He got good grades but no friends and had many, many issues with bullying and sensory issues which were consider "bad behavior" until he got a proper dx. Middleschool he started out with some classes being inclusion (math, reading, lang arts) and the rest regular ed. Again, lots of issues mainly with the increase of social skills being more important and he lacked those significantly. Also, a lot of his issue were due to teachers not understanding Aspergers and having no clue how to work with my son. This of course made his self esteem and anxiety worse. We finally chose a self-contained classroom after the first nine weeks of this school year because things got so bad. But, again wrong answer. I don't think it was actually the self contained classroom in itself as it was the programing they used in this particular class. It was not geared towards special needs children or AS kids, but toward kids with behavior issues. And in there lies the problem. While AS kids often have behavior issues, that is NOT their main deficit area. The behaviors often come from other issues not being address appropriately. We are now having him slowly re-integrated into mainstream setting. However, still with a one-on-one aide and in inclusion classrooms. So, what is best? Who knows for sure. Different things work for different kids. But to me, neither is an appropriate setting if the teachers, faculty, and administration do not understand Aspergers and do not promote a supportive, accepting and nurturing environment. Social skills in a regular ed/inclusion environment can be more damaging that none at all. My son was bullied so much that he began to mirror the same behavior at times to fit in. He did gain some acceptance with the kids by doing this, but then labled as a "problem" by the teachers. He thought when the kids laughed that they "liked" him and thought he was funny. Little did he know that they were laughing AT him and he was their source of entertainment. They would even tell him to do things or dare him, knowing he would do it because he wanted to be liked. Then he was the one getting in trouble and they thought it was all so funny. The key is to be able to provide these kids with POSITIVE peer role modeling from NT peers. This takes effort on the part of the school. Not something most schools (from my experience) want to put forth. ne From: EV Downey <dcmusicteacher@...>Subject: ( ) Inclusion vs. self-contained/special schools vs. homeschooled Date: Wednesday, March 30, 2011, 12:46 PM Just curious how many of you out there have kids who are successfully being served in an inclusion setting (basically involved in the class, perhaps even invited to a birthday party of 2, by the actual student). How many of you think self-contained is the way to go with Aspie's and/or are successfully managing to get the social skills in the right place even tho kid is in self-contained. How many of you just gave up on the whole thing and are homeschooling? Not trying to start a debate or anything because I'm sure that what works for one doesn't work for all. Just curious if there is a critical mass of kids out there who are actually successfully integrated in NT classrooms. Having a little debate with the HFA/AS experts here in our school district. Specifically in the older years -- my son is in 3rd grade -- as I think it gets much harder socially. Thanks!E.V. Downey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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