Re: Newbie::::Aspie girl thinking of killing herself at time.

[Guest guest]

Hi,

My girl has been a victim of bullies at school and at the boys and girl club. She also has health problems.

I am very upset because the school denied her IEP because she is passing, however she got a D in math and they think that is because she is not doing her homework. I know she is having memory problem, she is forgetting everything, her lunch box, her music lessons, our conversations, etc.

The school called the DSS on me because I mentioned that when she gets her temper tamtrums I lock myself in my room. I told them that I lock myself in the room to cry because I feel helpless and that I am not getting enough help from school.The dss called me and I explained them I feel the school and the boys and girls club abuse my gilr by not providen services and no providing a safe enviroment. If she kills herself whe will do it in school, not at home.

At home she is happy most of the time with her music instrument, her cat and her pc.

The DSS should investigate the school and the boys and girl clubs instead of me because those though of killing herself happen at those places.

At this time I feel as Brown says "they are the machine". I can't fight the machine. I will write a certify letter to those machines making them aware that they are going to be accountable for if something happen to my girl. I will go public with all the data to the entire world.

The schools and institutions should have a ZERo tolerance for bullies. The problem is that those bullies are special needs and are back up for institutiones. I suspect that the boys and girls club get some type of finantial assistance to have trouble children at the club. it is always a matter of money....

The other problem is that my health is not good and I get sick when I get upset. I will need to get a lawyer to help me to deal with them. I just hire an advocate to help me.

The school and the boys and girls club are in denial. But my girl is suffering.

At this time I enrolled her at the YMCA child care for two days out of five.I can't afford it, but I rather eat rice and beans than having my girl suffering...

( ) Re: Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!Hi to Benita and all others who've responded! I think we could usethe dishwasher loading "properly" as a dx tool for AS in hubbies!ah hahahahah when I read that it was sooooo familiar. My daughterinherited from his side, she is 21 and attending college, lives inan off college apartment and thinks she knows everything. We usedto get along very well, and I miss her terribly as she doesn'tcontact me at all about anything anymore. Does anyone else havethis experience????? Do they ever come back???? Or does AS meanthey are gone for good from my life??? I mean, I am proud that sheis able to manage it and have friends, but I MISS her. She doesn'teven like me to email or call her anymore. I was so busy with getting her through to this point I think I also grieve not havingthat to DO anymore either as she is my only. Any thoughts?Thanks! Jo

[Guest guest]

Is there any way you could homeschool her?

Benita

From: "tfitzge134@..." <tfitzge134@...> Sent: Mon, January 25, 2010 10:50:31 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: Newbie::::Aspie girl thinking of killing herself at time.

Hi,

My girl has been a victim of bullies at school and at the boys and girl club. She also has health problems.

I am very upset because the school denied her IEP because she is passing, however she got a D in math and they think that is because she is not doing her homework. I know she is having memory problem, she is forgetting everything, her lunch box, her music lessons, our conversations, etc.

The school called the DSS on me because I mentioned that when she gets her temper tamtrums I lock myself in my room. I told them that I lock myself in the room to cry because I feel helpless and that I am not getting enough help from school.The dss called me and I explained them I feel the school and the boys and girls club abuse my gilr by not providen services and no providing a safe enviroment. If she kills herself whe will do it in school, not at home.

At home she is happy most of the time with her music instrument, her cat and her pc.

The DSS should investigate the school and the boys and girl clubs instead of me because those though of killing herself happen at those places.

At this time I feel as Brown says "they are the machine". I can't fight the machine. I will write a certify letter to those machines making them aware that they are going to be accountable for if something happen to my girl. I will go public with all the data to the entire world.

The schools and institutions should have a ZERo tolerance for bullies. The problem is that those bullies are special needs and are back up for institutiones. I suspect that the boys and girls club get some type of finantial assistance to have trouble children at the club. it is always a matter of money....

The other problem is that my health is not good and I get sick when I get upset. I will need to get a lawyer to help me to deal with them. I just hire an advocate to help me.

The school and the boys and girls club are in denial. But my girl is suffering.

At this time I enrolled her at the YMCA child care for two days out of five.I can't afford it, but I rather eat rice and beans than having my girl suffering...

( ) Re: Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!Hi to Benita and all others who've responded! I think we could usethe dishwasher loading "properly" as a dx tool for AS in hubbies!ah hahahahah when I read that it was sooooo familiar. My daughterinherited from his side, she is 21 and attending college, lives inan off college apartment and thinks she knows everything. We usedto get along very well, and I miss her terribly as she doesn'tcontact me at all about anything anymore. Does anyone else havethis experience?? ??? Do they ever come back???? Or does AS meanthey are gone for good from my life??? I mean, I am proud that sheis able to manage

it and have friends, but I MISS her. She doesn'teven like me to email or call her anymore. I was so busy with getting her through to this point I think I also grieve not havingthat to DO anymore either as she is my only. Any thoughts?Thanks! Jo

[Guest guest]

Thanks goodness you found an advocate.

I hope you have a diagnosis of Asperger if not perhaps the

psychiatrit will help. I also found that there are many

pediatric neurologist that totally understand the As outburts and lots of them

take insurance!!! Our wrote a strong advocacy note to the school. Yeah.

I lock myself in my room when my daughter is having an

outburst. And I have been working for months with a behaviorist. I have had

someone call the police on " me " when they saw my

daughter " hitting " me. For goodness sakes people don't know

what is going on with these kids. I showed the police officer

the business card of my daughter's pyschiatrist and I carry

her medication too (mostly because she wants to throw it out).

He understood rather quickly.

I am sending you a hug and I wish you the best in getting

your daughter classifed.

Pam

>

>

>

> Hi,

>

>

>

> My girl has been a victim of bullies at school and at the boys and girl club.

She also has health problems.

>

>

>

> I am very upset because the school denied her IEP because she is passing,

however she got a D in math and they think that is because she is not doing her

homework. I know she is having memory problem, she is forgetting everything, her

lunch box, her music lessons, our conversations, etc.

>

>

>

> The school called the DSS on me because I mentioned that when she gets her

temper tamtrums I lock myself in my room. I told them that I lock myself in the

room to cry because I feel helpless and that I am not getting enough help from

school.The dss called me and I explained them I feel the school and the boys and

girls club abuse my gilr by not providen services and no providing a safe

enviroment. If she kills herself whe will do it in school, not at home.

>

> At home she is happy most of the time with her music instrument, her cat and

her pc.

>

>

>

> The DSS should investigate the school and the boys and girl clubs instead of

me because  those though of killing herself happen at those places.

>

>

>

> At this time I feel as Brown says " they are the machine " . I can't fight

the machine. I will write a certify letter to those machines making them aware

that they are going to be accountable for if something happen to my girl. I will

go public with all the data to the entire world.

>

>

>

> The schools and institutions should have a ZERo tolerance for bullies. The

problem is that those bullies are special needs and  are back up for

institutiones. I suspect that the boys and girls club get some type of finantial

assistance to have trouble children at the club. it is always a matter of

money....

>

>

>

> The other problem is that my health is not good and I get sick when I get

upset. I will need to get a lawyer to help me to deal with them. I just hire an

advocate to help me.

>

>

>

> The school and the boys and girls club are in denial. But my girl is

suffering.

>

> At this time I enrolled her at the YMCA child care for two days out of five. I

can't afford it, but I rather eat rice and beans than having my girl

suffering...

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ( ) Re: Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!

>

> Hi to Benita and all others who've responded! I think we could use

> the dishwasher loading " properly " as a dx tool for AS in hubbies!

> ah hahahahah when I read that it was sooooo familiar.

>  My daughter

> inherited from his side, she is 21 and attending college, lives in

> an off college apartment and thinks she knows everything. We used

> to get along very well, and I miss her terribly as she doesn't

> contact me at all about anything anymore. Does anyone else have

> this experience????? Do they ever come back???? Or does AS mean

> they are gone for good from my life??? I mean, I am proud that she

> is able to manage it and have friends, but I MISS her. She doesn't

> even like me to email or call her anymore. I was so busy with

> getting her through to this point I think I also grieve not having

> that to DO anymore either as she is my only. Any thoughts?

> Thanks! Jo

>

[Guest guest]

Locking yourself in a room when you're overwhelmed is considered by some social

workers to be a great way of coping and preventing abuse. Rayleigh's counselor

told us that she sometimes gives herself time-outs when her kids are

misbehaving.

>

>

>

> Hi,

>

>

>

> My girl has been a victim of bullies at school and at the boys and girl club.

She also has health problems.

>

>

>

> I am very upset because the school denied her IEP because she is passing,

however she got a D in math and they think that is because she is not doing her

homework. I know she is having memory problem, she is forgetting everything, her

lunch box, her music lessons, our conversations, etc.

>

>

>

> The school called the DSS on me because I mentioned that when she gets her

temper tamtrums I lock myself in my room. I told them that I lock myself in the

room to cry because I feel helpless and that I am not getting enough help from

school.The dss called me and I explained them I feel the school and the boys and

girls club abuse my gilr by not providen services and no providing a safe

enviroment. If she kills herself whe will do it in school, not at home.

>

> At home she is happy most of the time with her music instrument, her cat and

her pc.

>

>

>

> The DSS should investigate the school and the boys and girl clubs instead of

me because  those though of killing herself happen at those places.

>

>

>

> At this time I feel as Brown says " they are the machine " . I can't fight

the machine. I will write a certify letter to those machines making them aware

that they are going to be accountable for if something happen to my girl. I will

go public with all the data to the entire world.

>

>

>

> The schools and institutions should have a ZERo tolerance for bullies. The

problem is that those bullies are special needs and  are back up for

institutiones. I suspect that the boys and girls club get some type of finantial

assistance to have trouble children at the club. it is always a matter of

money....

>

>

>

> The other problem is that my health is not good and I get sick when I get

upset. I will need to get a lawyer to help me to deal with them. I just hire an

advocate to help me.

>

>

>

> The school and the boys and girls club are in denial. But my girl is

suffering.

>

> At this time I enrolled her at the YMCA child care for two days out of five. I

can't afford it, but I rather eat rice and beans than having my girl

suffering...

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ( ) Re: Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!

>

> Hi to Benita and all others who've responded! I think we could use

> the dishwasher loading " properly " as a dx tool for AS in hubbies!

> ah hahahahah when I read that it was sooooo familiar.

>  My daughter

> inherited from his side, she is 21 and attending college, lives in

> an off college apartment and thinks she knows everything. We used

> to get along very well, and I miss her terribly as she doesn't

> contact me at all about anything anymore. Does anyone else have

> this experience????? Do they ever come back???? Or does AS mean

> they are gone for good from my life??? I mean, I am proud that she

> is able to manage it and have friends, but I MISS her. She doesn't

> even like me to email or call her anymore. I was so busy with

> getting her through to this point I think I also grieve not having

> that to DO anymore either as she is my only. Any thoughts?

> Thanks! Jo

>

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I can not home school her because I am a single mother and I need my job to pay my bills. When she be able to be by herself at home I might home school her. I also have been thinking to send her to catholic school, but I can't afford that at this time.

The therapist told me that she has to find a way to cope with the situation.

( ) Re: Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!Hi to Benita and all others who've responded! I think we could usethe dishwasher loading "properly" as a dx tool for AS in hubbies!ah hahahahah when I read that it was sooooo familiar. My daughterinherited from his side, she is 21 and attending college, lives inan off college apartment and thinks she knows everything. We usedto get along very well, and I miss her terribly as she doesn'tcontact me at all about anything anymore. Does anyone else havethis experience?? ??? Do they ever come back???? Or does AS meanthey are gone for good from my life??? I mean, I am proud that sheis able to manage it and have friends, but I MISS her. She doesn'teven like me to email or call her anymore. I was so busy with getting her through to this point I think I also grieve not havingthat to DO anymore either as she is my only. Any thoughts?Thanks! Jo

[Guest guest]

Yes... it would only be abusive if you locked HER in HER room!

Jen

mimasdprofile wrote:

>

> Locking yourself in a room when you're overwhelmed is considered by

> some social workers to be a great way of coping and preventing abuse.

> Rayleigh's counselor told us that she sometimes gives herself

> time-outs when her kids are misbehaving.

>

>

> >

> >

> >

> > Hi,

> >

> >

> >

> > My girl has been a victim of bullies at school and at the boys and

> girl club. She also has health problems.

> >

> >

> >

> > I am very upset because the school denied her IEP because she is

> passing, however she got a D in math and they think that is because

> she is not doing her homework. I know she is having memory problem,

> she is forgetting everything, her lunch box, her music lessons, our

> conversations, etc.

> >

> >

> >

> > The school called the DSS on me because I mentioned that when she

> gets her temper tamtrums I lock myself in my room. I told them that I

> lock myself in the room to cry because I feel helpless and that I am

> not getting enough help from school.The dss called me and I explained

> them I feel the school and the boys and girls club abuse my gilr by

> not providen services and no providing a safe enviroment. If she kills

> herself whe will do it in school, not at home.

> >

> > At home she is happy most of the time with her music instrument, her

> cat and her pc.

> >

> >

> >

> > The DSS should investigate the school and the boys and girl clubs

> instead of me because those though of killing herself happen at those

> places.

> >

> >

> >

> > At this time I feel as Brown says " they are the machine " . I

> can't fight the machine. I will write a certify letter to those

> machines making them aware that they are going to be accountable for

> if something happen to my girl. I will go public with all the data to

> the entire world.

> >

> >

> >

> > The schools and institutions should have a ZERo tolerance for

> bullies. The problem is that those bullies are special needs and are

> back up for institutiones. I suspect that the boys and girls club get

> some type of finantial assistance to have trouble children at the

> club. it is always a matter of money....

> >

> >

> >

> > The other problem is that my health is not good and I get sick when

> I get upset. I will need to get a lawyer to help me to deal with them.

> I just hire an advocate to help me.

> >

> >

> >

> > The school and the boys and girls club are in denial. But my girl is

> suffering.

> >

> > At this time I enrolled her at the YMCA child care for two days out

> of five. I can't afford it, but I rather eat rice and beans than

> having my girl suffering...

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ( ) Re: Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!

> >

> > Hi to Benita and all others who've responded! I think we could use

> > the dishwasher loading " properly " as a dx tool for AS in hubbies!

> > ah hahahahah when I read that it was sooooo familiar.

> > Â My daughter

> > inherited from his side, she is 21 and attending college, lives in

> > an off college apartment and thinks she knows everything. We used

> > to get along very well, and I miss her terribly as she doesn't

> > contact me at all about anything anymore. Does anyone else have

> > this experience????? Do they ever come back???? Or does AS mean

> > they are gone for good from my life??? I mean, I am proud that she

> > is able to manage it and have friends, but I MISS her. She doesn't

> > even like me to email or call her anymore. I was so busy with

> > getting her through to this point I think I also grieve not having

> > that to DO anymore either as she is my only. Any thoughts?

> > Thanks! Jo

> >

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

>

> No virus found in this incoming message.

> Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

> Version: 8.5.432 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/2644 - Release Date: 01/25/10

07:36:00

>

>

No virus found in this outgoing message.

Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

Version: 8.5.432 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/2644 - Release Date: 01/25/10

07:36:00

[Guest guest]

You are right and the school district is wrong. Getting an advocate is the right

thing to do. And if that doesn't help, get a lawyer. I heard the same thing from

the school for years, that they would not provide help for my AS son because he

was too smart and was getting passing grades, never mind that his grades were

steadily getting worse and that he was being bullied at school.

What helped us is that my son reached a point where he just could not go to

school anymore because of the anxiety and the bullying. He was cheerful at home,

but absolutely shut down and refused to get in the car to go to school. So it

was easy for our advocate to argue that the school was failing to provide FAPE

(free and appropriate public education) because my son was too afraid to go to

school and so was failing all of his classes.

Ask your doctor about keeping your child home from school for awhile to prevent

more psychological damage. Our doctor provided a note for the school stating

that my son was too anxious to go to school due to his Aspergers and so needed a

temporary break from school. We tried using tutors from the school, but he

refused to cooperate, although I begged him to. It didn't take long for the

school to 1) do a thorough evaluation where they confirmed that my son really

has AS and really needs more interventions and 2)decide to pay for his tuition

at a private school I found.

[Guest guest]

What age is your daughter?

From: tfitzge134@... <tfitzge134@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Newbie::::Aspie girl thinking of killing herself at time. Date: Monday, January 25, 2010, 9:01 PM

Hi,

I can not home school her because I am a single mother and I need my job to pay my bills. When she be able to be by herself at home I might home school her. I also have been thinking to send her to catholic school, but I can't afford that at this time.

The therapist told me that she has to find a way to cope with the situation.

( ) Re: Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!Hi to Benita and all others who've responded! I think we could usethe dishwasher loading "properly" as a dx tool for AS in hubbies!ah hahahahah when I read that it was sooooo familiar. My daughterinherited from his side, she is 21 and attending college, lives inan off college apartment and thinks she knows everything. We usedto get along very well, and I miss her terribly as she doesn'tcontact me at all about anything anymore. Does anyone else havethis experience?? ??? Do they ever come back???? Or does AS meanthey are gone for good from my life??? I mean, I am proud that sheis able to manage it and have

friends, but I MISS her. She doesn'teven like me to email or call her anymore. I was so busy with getting her through to this point I think I also grieve not havingthat to DO anymore either as she is my only. Any thoughts?Thanks! Jo

[Guest guest]

That is really sad. Did you say you found an advocate to help you?

You definitely need to do so. If you need help finding someone, let us

know. They can't really use her grades as an excuse to not provide

services at the school. I know many times, schools do just that! But

it's not legal to do that. Most of the time, people don't know to

challenge this stuff. Hopefully, an advocate can help you deal with

them and get her some help at school. I know when I first had to deal

with the sped system, I was so upset. We did not have the internet

back then so I had no clue there were even laws, let alone how to deal

with any of it. Our doc was a pediatric neurologist by lucky chance.

But he would just tell me my dd had a LD and I had to go get her help

at school. I would go to the school and ask for help and they would

say, " She's getting passing grades, she's fine. " I did not know how to

put the two together or how to help her. Years later, she was failing

and suddenly " qualified " for " help. " You are right that the system is

not designed to educate the student and yes, it's about money. As you

deal with this, you will learn the words and phrases to use or where to

find help and it will get easier...but not less ridiculous. First, you

should get a complete evaluation done. If you have, go over it with

someone who knows how to interpret these kinds of tests to help you

understand it. Also, keep your paper trail going by writing follow

up's to all your conversations and meetings. In addition, anytime they

deny her services, you are required to be given " prior written notice "

which will state the reason they are denying services and the things

they considered in making this decision. Do not let them get away with

not doing this! You want their reasons in writing. Hopefully, the

advocate can help you get things going for her at school!!

I don't know anything about the boys/girls clubs. At any rate, there

are laws to protect those with disabilities. So I would start there.

First, keep a running list of any harassment. Document everything.

Anytime you talk to anyone, write a follow up letter or note to clarify

what was said but also, to keep track of your attempts to solve the

problem. Sometimes they dismiss one small " minor " problem. But once

you have a group of data, you can say, " Look, this is an ongoing

harassment of my child! " And you have proof to back yourself up. Ask

the director to provide you with their policies for people with

disabilities, harassment and bullying. Get their policy in writing and

then find out if they are following their own rules.

Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

Re: ( ) Re: Newbie::::Aspie girl thinking of

killing herself at time.

Hi,

 

My girl has been a victim of bullies at school and at the boys and girl

club. She also has health problems.

 

I am very upset because the school denied her IEP because she is

passing, however she got a D in math and they think that is because she

is not doing her homework. I know she is having memory problem, she is

forgetting everything, her lunch box, her music lessons, our

conversations, etc.

 

The school called the DSS on me because I mentioned that when she gets

her temper tamtrums I lock myself in my room. I told them that I lock

myself in the room to cry because I feel helpless and that I am not

getting enough help from school.The dss called me and I explained them

I feel the school and the boys and girls club abuse my gilr by not

providen services and no providing a safe enviroment. If she kills

herself whe will do it in school, not at home.

At home she is happy most of the time with her music instrument, her

cat and her pc.

 

The DSS should investigate the school and the boys and girl clubs

instead of me because  those though of killing herself happen at those

places.

 

At this time I feel as Brown says " they are the machine " . I can't

fight the machine. I will write a certify letter to those machines

making them aware that they are going to be accountable for if

something happen to my girl. I will go public with all the data to the

entire world.

 

The schools and institutions should have a ZERo tolerance for bullies.

The problem is that those bullies are special needs and  are back up

for institutiones. I suspect that the boys and girls club get some type

of finantial assistance to have trouble children at the club. it is

always a matter of money....

 

The other problem is that my health is not good and I get sick when I

get upset. I will need to get a lawyer to help me to deal with them. I

just hire an advocate to help me.

 

The school and the boys and girls club are in denial. But my girl is

suffering.

At this time I enrolled her at the YMCA child care for two days out of

five.I can't afford it, but I rather eat rice and beans than having my

girl suffering...

 

 

( ) Re: Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!

Hi to Benita and all others who've responded! I think we could use

the dishwasher loading " properly " as a dx tool for AS in hubbies!

ah hahahahah when I read that it was sooooo familiar.

 My daughter

inherited from his side, she is 21 and attending college, lives in

an off college apartment and thinks she knows everything. We used

to get along very well, and I miss her terribly as she doesn't

contact me at all about anything anymore. Does anyone else have

this experience????? Do they ever come back???? Or does AS mean

they are gone for good from my life??? I mean, I am proud that she

is able to manage it and have friends, but I MISS her. She doesn't

even like me to email or call her anymore. I was so busy with

getting her through to this point I think I also grieve not having

that to DO anymore either as she is my only. Any thoughts?

Thanks! Jo

[Guest guest]

Wow, what a therapist! Did the therapist offer any ideas for helping

her learn how to cope? That would be the therapists JOB. Not just

stating the obvious. We all need to learn to cope. It's when we can't

that we need help or outside intervention. Just having someone say,

" Yep, she needs to learn to cope " does not really help the process.

Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

Re: ( ) Re: Newbie::::Aspie girl thinking of

killing herself at time.

Hi,

I can not home school her because I am a single mother and I need my

job to pay my bills.  When she be able to be by herself at home I might

home school her. I also have been thinking to send her to catholic

school, but I can't afford that at this time.

The therapist told me that she has to find a way to cope with the

situation.

( ) Re: Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!

Hi to Benita and all others who've responded! I think we could use

the dishwasher loading " properly " as a dx tool for AS in hubbies!

ah hahahahah when I read that it was sooooo familiar.

 My daughter

inherited from his side, she is 21 and attending college, lives in

an off college apartment and thinks she knows everything. We used

to get along very well, and I miss her terribly as she doesn't

contact me at all about anything anymore. Does anyone else have

this experience?? ??? Do they ever come back???? Or does AS mean

they are gone for good from my life??? I mean, I am proud that she

is able to manage it and have friends, but I MISS her. She doesn't

ev en like me to email or call her anymore. I was so busy with

getting her through to this point I think I also grieve not having

that to DO anymore either as she is my only. Any thoughts?

Thanks! Jo