Re: Re: Gender issues and autism

[Guest guest]

I have heard of this theory - it has been out there a while and also part of this idea that AS/autism is "just another way of thinking" and not really an actual disability. I don't think it has anything to do with gender either - but yes, I thought about the kilt. Still, I think you would be creating a new way to tease a kid by putting him in one! lol. In the USA, kilts are not common.

I don't think this is a big problem overall. Many kids with autism will wear looser clothing like sweat pants instead of jeans. It's not that odd to see that. And as I said earlier, sensory is not a static problem that never improves or changes. My younger ds with HFA used to not like wearing any clothes. He was naked most of the time and when we went out, he would start peeling off his clothes as we went. It took a bit of effort to get him to keep his clothes on but it was not painful or impossible. We just rewarded him for leaving clothes on in short intervals (a positive behavior plan was in place) and over the course of time, he eventually became a clothes wearing member of society. He's 13 yo now and wearing clothes as I speak. lol. He is even in Blue jeans the last two years and prefers them. Now yesterday, he has asked to have some shorts. So he is learning to try to new things and while it will be a bit of an effort for him to adjust to wearing shorts - no doubt I will hear him complain about it - he will get used to that. Because it is not something one can't adapt to if one needs or wants to.

I think learning to adapt is an important skill and should be encouraged. It's great to accommodate some of these problems but not to the extent that we don't teach how to deal with or adapt to things. My older ds used to have a problem changing from long pants to shorts each season. He just had such a hard time doing it! Seems like it took weeks before he would try a pair of shorts on, let alone wear them all day. Then fall would come and he'd be back in long pants and really stressing about it! But we just kept at it and he adapted/learn to adapt. Today he is 21 yo and can wear either long or short pants without any problems.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) Re: Gender issues and autism

The "ultimate male brain" is one theory of many, and not really well known here in the states. It's a theory posited by Simon Baron-Cohen a well-known UK researcher. I think you may have thrown some people off by assuming everyone knows this book/theory. I have no idea how gender expression ties in (or if it does) with Asperger's but if my son had that sensitivity, the obvious solution would be a kilt, not a skirt. If you are assuming the theory to be correct, then the ultimate male expression of going about in something other than pants/shorts, would be the kilt. But as others have pointed out sensory issues manifest differently for each child who has them. Occupational Therapy to desensitize the child's legs gradually would probably be the best suggestion. To be in that kind of discomfort constantly would affect day to day life, so some sort of intervention through OT is what I imagine would work best.

-April

>

> As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the ³ultimate male brain.²

> Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are androgynous tomboys. But

> how often are there boys who, while still identifying as male, are more

> girly? Have there been reports about that? If so, how have the parents

> handled it?

>

> Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses because

> sensory issues make pants‹ anything touching her legs‹ uncomfortable. I was

> wondering if any parents here have boys who have such sensory issues and if

> so what¹s done about it. Obviously the decision to let a boy wear a skirt or

> a dress is one that has to have a lot of preparation (ie talking to the

> school about why), and many parents don¹t want to take that risk. So what do

> parents do in such situations? There should be something sort of like a

> skirt for boys with leg sensory issues...

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Well yes if I had a boy I would only send him to school in a skirt as a last resort— and I would talk to the teachers first and have some kind of school assembly. You’re probably right, it probably doesn’t happen. But if it does at all I still wouldn’t be surprised. Anyway because of the testosterone thing, I imagine there are far fewer boys that want to wear girls’ clothing than vice-versa. I hated it when my mom tried to put me in what I call “boob neckline” shirts. Clothing that was decidedly feminine was always psychologically uncomfortable for me. Fortunately, girls have more leverage in terms of cross-gender clothing than boys do. I always bought clothes in the girls’ section, but I was very picky and would not buy “boob neckline” shirts... Which was tough because that’s what most of the shirts were. These days I still buy primarily androgynous clothing. I buy in the women’s section and occasionally in the men’s section. Most of my shopping I do at places like Old Navy or American Eagle, where I can get the kinds of clothes I like.

On 6/21/10 9:56 AM, " Roxanna " <MadIdeas@...> wrote:

I have heard of this theory - it has been out there a while and also part of this idea that AS/autism is " just another way of thinking " and not really an actual disability. I don't think it has anything to do with gender either - but yes, I thought about the kilt. Still, I think you would be creating a new way to tease a kid by putting him in one! lol. In the USA, kilts are not common.

I don't think this is a big problem overall. Many kids with autism will wear looser clothing like sweat pants instead of jeans. It's not that odd to see that. And as I said earlier, sensory is not a static problem that never improves or changes. My younger ds with HFA used to not like wearing any clothes. He was naked most of the time and when we went out, he would start peeling off his clothes as we went. It took a bit of effort to get him to keep his clothes on but it was not painful or impossible. We just rewarded him for leaving clothes on in short intervals (a positive behavior plan was in place) and over the course of time, he eventually became a clothes wearing member of society. He's 13 yo now and wearing clothes as I speak. lol. He is even in Blue jeans the last two years and prefers them. Now yesterday, he has asked to have some shorts. So he is learning to try to new things and while it will be a bit of an effort for him to adjust to wearing shorts - no doubt I will hear him complain about it - he will get used to that. Because it is not something one can't adapt to if one needs or wants to.

I think learning to adapt is an important skill and should be encouraged. It's great to accommodate some of these problems but not to the extent that we don't teach how to deal with or adapt to things. My older ds used to have a problem changing from long pants to shorts each season. He just had such a hard time doing it! Seems like it took weeks before he would try a pair of shorts on, let alone wear them all day. Then fall would come and he'd be back in long pants and really stressing about it! But we just kept at it and he adapted/learn to adapt. Today he is 21 yo and can wear either long or short pants without any problems.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) Re: Gender issues and autism

The " ultimate male brain " is one theory of many, and not really well known here in the states. It's a theory posited by Simon Baron-Cohen a well-known UK researcher. I think you may have thrown some people off by assuming everyone knows this book/theory. I have no idea how gender expression ties in (or if it does) with Asperger's but if my son had that sensitivity, the obvious solution would be a kilt, not a skirt. If you are assuming the theory to be correct, then the ultimate male expression of going about in something other than pants/shorts, would be the kilt. But as others have pointed out sensory issues manifest differently for each child who has them. Occupational Therapy to desensitize the child's legs gradually would probably be the best suggestion. To be in that kind of discomfort constantly would affect day to day life, so some sort of intervention through OT is what I imagine would work best.

-April

>

> As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the ³ultimate male brain.²

> Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are androgynous tomboys. But

> how often are there boys who, while still identifying as male, are more

> girly? Have there been reports about that? If so, how have the parents

> handled it?

>

> Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses because

> sensory issues make pants‹ anything touching her legs‹ uncomfortable. I was

> wondering if any parents here have boys who have such sensory issues and if

> so what¹s done about it. Obviously the decision to let a boy wear a skirt or

> a dress is one that has to have a lot of preparation (ie talking to the

> school about why), and many parents don¹t want to take that risk. So what do

> parents do in such situations? There should be something sort of like a

> skirt for boys with leg sensory issues...

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Okay, I guess that makes sense. I didn’t really have sensory issues, so I wasn’t sure if it was something people with AS were stuck with for life or not.

On 6/20/10 9:29 PM, " amwhee1er " <amwhee1er@...> wrote:

The " ultimate male brain " is one theory of many, and not really well known here in the states. It's a theory posited by Simon Baron-Cohen a well-known UK researcher. I think you may have thrown some people off by assuming everyone knows this book/theory. I have no idea how gender expression ties in (or if it does) with Asperger's but if my son had that sensitivity, the obvious solution would be a kilt, not a skirt. If you are assuming the theory to be correct, then the ultimate male expression of going about in something other than pants/shorts, would be the kilt. But as others have pointed out sensory issues manifest differently for each child who has them. Occupational Therapy to desensitize the child's legs gradually would probably be the best suggestion. To be in that kind of discomfort constantly would affect day to day life, so some sort of intervention through OT is what I imagine would work best.

-April

>

> As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the “ultimate male brain.”

> Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are androgynous tomboys. But

> how often are there boys who, while still identifying as male, are more

> girly? Have there been reports about that? If so, how have the parents

> handled it?

>

> Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses because

> sensory issues make pants— anything touching her legs— uncomfortable. I was

> wondering if any parents here have boys who have such sensory issues and if

> so what’s done about it. Obviously the decision to let a boy wear a skirt or

> a dress is one that has to have a lot of preparation (ie talking to the

> school about why), and many parents don’t want to take that risk. So what do

> parents do in such situations? There should be something sort of like a

> skirt for boys with leg sensory issues...

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

No, that’s not it at all. Anyway, I’m quite the tomboy. I look at it like this: Nature produces patterns, but it also produces variety.

On 6/21/10 10:33 PM, " miranda.flemming " <miranda.flemming@...> wrote:

I am a female thinker INTP, which goes against the stereotype that males are thinkers (objective) and females are feelers (subjective). I don't like the male brain theory as it is reinforcing an incorrect stereotype that males are thinkers and have no feelings

Miranda

> >

> > As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the “ultimate male brain.”

> > Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are androgynous tomboys. But

> > how often are there boys who, while still identifying as male, are more

> > girly? Have there been reports about that? If so, how have the parents

> > handled it?

> >

> > Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses because

> > sensory issues make pants— anything touching her legs— uncomfortable. I was

> > wondering if any parents here have boys who have such sensory issues and if

> > so what’s done about it. Obviously the decision to let a boy wear a skirt or

> > a dress is one that has to have a lot of preparation (ie talking to the

> > school about why), and many parents don’t want to take that risk. So what do

> > parents do in such situations? There should be something sort of like a

> > skirt for boys with leg sensory issues...

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I had one of those - it was blue.  My Mum eventually covered it when it

became too stained.  Then she 'uncovered' it and re-covered it for my

son.  Good thing I didn't need it by then

On 23/06/2010 6:20 PM, miranda.flemming wrote:

 

my son used to have a "blankie" made of very soft wool and satin

which was his comforter - he would rub it between his fingers and suck

his thumb. I think it originated from tugging on my hair (which was

long and silky) while breast-feeding. He now has a tongue-licking tic

and spreads his fingers (which may be unrelated).

He often refuses to wear shoes

Miranda

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> This needs to be looked into farther. My son has Asperger's with

sensory issues - tactile dysfunction. I have to cut the tags out of ALL

of his clothes, make sure there are no strings on  them, OH NO if any

of my hair is on them, and his shoes can't have the strings that tie.

He's 12.5. When he comes home, all of his clothes come off, except for

his boxer briefs.

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> He's been called girly, gay, fag, even by his own father. Some

even say he will turn out to be gay because of the way he acts.

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> I accept him for how and who he is and will never judge him, but I

never realized the connection between the 'male brain' before. You got

me thinking now...

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> The Asperger Child Inc

>

> www.TheAspergerChil d.org <http://www.TheAsper gerChild. org>  

>

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> From: julie1013 <julie1013@optonline .net>

>

> "ShadowSyndromeKids" <ShadowSyndromeKids@

groups. com>; "Aspergers Syndrome"

<Aspergers Syndrome>; "aspergershighfuncti

oningautism" <aspergershighfuncti oningautism@

groups. com>; "aspergers-teens"

<aspergers-teens>; "Autism and Aspergers Treatment@

groups. com" <Autism and Aspergers Treatment>

>

> Sent: Fri, June 18, 2010 10:46:20 PM

>

> Subject: Gender issues and autism

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> As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the “ultimate

male brain.†Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are

androgynous tomboys. But how often are there boys who, while still

identifying as male, are more girly? Have there been reports about

that? If so, how have the parents handled it?

>

>

>

> Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses

because sensory issues make pantsâ€" anything touching her legsâ€"

uncomfortable. I was wondering if any parents here have boys who have

such sensory issues and if so what’s done about it. Obviously the

decision to let a boy wear a skirt or a dress is one that has to have a

lot of preparation (ie talking to the school about why), and many

parents don’t want to take that risk. So what do parents do in such

situations? There should be something sort of like a skirt for boys

with leg sensory issues...

>

>

>

>

>

>  

>

>  

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[Guest guest]

My son is nearly 13 and still has his blankie, the one his aunts made for him when he was born! He sleeps with it every night and often when sitting on the couch to watch TV, too. Up until 2 or 3 years ago he also took it to camp, although he had to hide it in his sleeping bag for fear the other boys would laugh at him. His best friend would help make sure no one saw it. Now the blankie stays at home where he can use it whenever he wants. But it's becoming frayed and starting to fall apart and I don't sew - so I don't know what he'll do when it falls apart! Guess we'll see when it happens!

Estevan, SK

Canada

-- Gender issues and autism> > > >   > >    > > > > As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the “ultimate male brain.†Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are androgynous tomboys. But how often are there boys who, while still identifying as male, are more girly? Have there been reports about that? If so, how have the parents handled it?> > > > Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses because sensory issues make pantsâ€" anything touching her legsâ€" uncomfortable. I was wondering if any parents here have boys who have such sensory issues and if so what’s done about it. Obviously the decision to let a boy wear a skirt or a dress is one that has to have a lot of preparation (ie talking to the school about why), and many parents don’t want to take that risk. So what do parents do in such situations? There should be something sort of like a skirt for boys with leg sensory issues...> > > > > >  > >  > > > >  > >  > >    >

[Guest guest]

A friend of mine took the pieces of the satin trim and cut it in pieces off for her child as that was what he really liked about the blanket. She gave him a replacement piece of the saitn when it got too ratty. RhodaFrom: & Godfrey <wmgodfrey@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Wed, June 23, 2010 9:21:47

AMSubject: Re: Re: Gender issues and autism

My son is nearly 13 and still has his blankie, the one his aunts made for him when he was born! He sleeps with it every night and often when sitting on the couch to watch TV, too. Up until 2 or 3 years ago he also took it to camp, although he had to hide it in his sleeping bag for fear the other boys would laugh at him. His best friend would help make sure no one saw it. Now the blankie stays at home where he can use it whenever he wants. But it's becoming frayed and starting to fall apart and I don't sew - so I don't know what he'll do when it falls apart! Guess we'll see when it happens!

Estevan, SK

Canada

-- Gender issues and autism> > > >   > >    > > > > As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the “ultimate male brain.†Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are androgynous tomboys. But how often are there boys who, while still identifying as male, are more girly? Have there been reports about that? If so, how have the parents handled it?> > > > Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses because

sensory issues make pantsâ€" anything touching her legsâ€" uncomfortable. I was wondering if any parents here have boys who have such sensory issues and if so what’s done about it. Obviously the decision to let a boy wear a skirt or a dress is one that has to have a lot of preparation (ie talking to the school about why), and many parents don’t want to take that risk. So what do parents do in such situations? There should be something sort of like a skirt for boys with leg sensory issues...> > > > > >  > >  > > > >  > >  > >    >