Re: Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!

[Guest guest]

Thank you for your encouragement. Thank God I have the support of my parents, even though my dad is an "aspie" too. Lol. You're right I don't have much time to myself, but like you said I am making time. If I'm happy then the kids are happy too. As if life wasn't hard enough before, try throwing in a divorce too. I really thought the men in the white coats were coming for me. lol. Thank you so much for your support, it means the world to me.AmyFrom: rushen janice <jrushen@...> Sent: Sat, January 23, 2010 11:31:54 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!

I have a "Aspie" husband...I too dx him...LOL...and life with my son has not been the greatest...but then I hear stories like yours and I want to drive over to you and hug you and tell you it is okay...omg....

Hang in there...it is very tough...I know and you probably don't have a minute to yourself...make sure you take some time out for YOU!

I never realized my husband has As until my son was DX with it. And, the more I look and read ...I realize he definitely has it. But, I look at it this way..my husband has survived....has a good job and is a good person. So, I look at it this way...it is proof that our children will make it too.

God Bless you and keep me up-to-date...the roller coaster ride can be shaky and frightening and tough...but the good moments will over-ride the rough ones.

Jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: Benita <softenyourheart@...> Sent: Sat, January 23, 2010 7:21:20 AMSubject: ( ) Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!

Hi, my name is Benita, I'm a homeschooling mom to 3 kids. My kids are Brittany (19 now, with Asperger's), Brea 17, 13 (with type 1 diabetes, insulin dependent). We live in upstate NY (anyone else live near Albany)? My husband also has asperger's (I'm sure he does, but I dx him lol). My daughter was offically dx at age 16, just before she started college (she started at 16 at our local community college). Anyway, things are really difficult with both of them having it. I hate it. THey both drive me nuts!!!! Plus, I have to deal with normal 17 yr old behaviors from my other daughter. She's a really good teen, but still the whole behavior, eye rolling stuff drives me nuts. She thinks I'm a control freak, and wants to do everything on her own, etc. drives me nuts. Her no.1 thing is that she doesn't appreciate anything I do for her. Plus, my son's diabetes has to be monitored 24/7 and that can drive me crazy too. He does have a pump and sensor

(CGMS) but that's a real pain too. It's never perfect since diabetes never is. Anyway, I could use some support, especially from other moms who have a husband with it AND a child. Thanks,Benita

[Guest guest]

Amy...this site really helps...so post anytime with anything...I know I have. My son is 14 now and a handful...there are days I can't stand him even though I love him...LOL...but he can be really sweet...more with others than me...

So hang in there and take time for yourself.

Jan

From: Amalia s <stevanos9898@...> Sent: Sat, January 23, 2010 11:38:59 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!

Thank you for your encouragement. Thank God I have the support of my parents, even though my dad is an "aspie" too. Lol. You're right I don't have much time to myself, but like you said I am making time. If I'm happy then the kids are happy too. As if life wasn't hard enough before, try throwing in a divorce too. I really thought the men in the white coats were coming for me. lol. Thank you so much for your support, it means the world to me.Amy

From: rushen janice <jrushen (DOT) com> Sent: Sat, January 23, 2010 11:31:54 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!

I have a "Aspie" husband...I too dx him...LOL... and life with my son has not been the greatest...but then I hear stories like yours and I want to drive over to you and hug you and tell you it is okay...omg.. ..

Hang in there...it is very tough...I know and you probably don't have a minute to yourself...make sure you take some time out for YOU!

I never realized my husband has As until my son was DX with it. And, the more I look and read ...I realize he definitely has it. But, I look at it this way..my husband has survived.... has a good job and is a good person. So, I look at it this way...it is proof that our children will make it too.

God Bless you and keep me up-to-date.. .the roller coaster ride can be shaky and frightening and tough...but the good moments will over-ride the rough ones.

Jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: Benita <softenyourheart> Sent: Sat, January 23, 2010 7:21:20 AMSubject: ( ) Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!

Hi, my name is Benita, I'm a homeschooling mom to 3 kids. My kids are Brittany (19 now, with Asperger's), Brea 17, 13 (with type 1 diabetes, insulin dependent). We live in upstate NY (anyone else live near Albany)? My husband also has asperger's (I'm sure he does, but I dx him lol). My daughter was offically dx at age 16, just before she started college (she started at 16 at our local community college). Anyway, things are really difficult with both of them having it. I hate it. THey both drive me nuts!!!! Plus, I have to deal with normal 17 yr old behaviors from my other daughter. She's a really good teen, but still the whole behavior, eye rolling stuff drives me nuts. She thinks I'm a control freak, and wants to do everything on her own, etc. drives me nuts. Her no.1 thing is that she doesn't appreciate anything I do for her. Plus, my son's diabetes has to be monitored 24/7 and that can drive me crazy too. He does have a pump and sensor

(CGMS) but that's a real pain too. It's never perfect since diabetes never is. Anyway, I could use some support, especially from other moms who have a husband with it AND a child. Thanks,Benita

[Guest guest]

Hi Belita! Nice to meet you!! Yes, it is an understatement! LOL Thanks so much for understanding! I regret it too!!!! (( I am only sticking it out for the kids!!

Benita

From: belita.rossin <bsrossin@...> Sent: Sat, January 23, 2010 1:54:27 PMSubject: ( ) Re: Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!

Benita,My name is Belita!My son was just diagnosed yesterday with PDD-NOS. I have learned in the past month that his father and all the men are presumed to have it with one nephew who was specifically diagnosed with Asperger's 8 years ago.The past 20 years of my life associated with his dad who I divorced 10 years ago) has become so clear now and I'm very UNHAPPY that my son inherited this from his side of the family. Just one more reason to regret marrying him!My ex is also a type 1 diabetic.My heart goes out to you. Saying you must be feeling overwhelmed must be the understatement of a decade!>> Hi, my name is Benita, I'm a homeschooling mom to 3 kids. My kids are

Brittany (19 now, with Asperger's), Brea 17, 13 (with type 1 diabetes, insulin dependent). We live in upstate NY (anyone else live near Albany)? My husband also has asperger's (I'm sure he does, but I dx him lol). My daughter was offically dx at age 16, just before she started college (she started at 16 at our local community college). Anyway, things are really difficult with both of them having it. I hate it. THey both drive me nuts!!!! Plus, I have to deal with normal 17 yr old behaviors from my other daughter. She's a really good teen, but still the whole behavior, eye rolling stuff drives me nuts. She thinks I'm a control freak, and wants to do everything on her own, etc. drives me nuts. Her no.1 thing is that she doesn't appreciate anything I do for her. > Plus, my son's diabetes has to be monitored 24/7 and that can drive me crazy too. He does have a pump and sensor (CGMS) but that's a real pain too. It's never perfect since diabetes

never is. Anyway, I could use some support, especially from other moms who have a husband with it AND a child. Thanks,> > Benita>

[Guest guest]

Hello Geo, welcome! I have 2 aspie boys, 16 and 5. Are you going to be going

through the testing process for your son? Ask any questions you need to and we

will all see what we can do to help.

>

> i filed for for divorce last week. our son is a 9yo undiagnosed aspie. i

suspect my stbxw may have it even worse than him. just got the school district

to agree to testing. he's such a great kid and hearing stories here will

hopefully give me more patience and wisdom in dealing with him. my name is geo.

>

> - ( ) Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!

>

>  

> Hi, my name is Benita, I'm a homeschooling mom to 3 kids. My kids are Brittany

(19 now, with Asperger's), Brea 17, 13 (with type 1 diabetes, insulin

dependent). We live in upstate NY (anyone else live near Albany)? My husband

also has asperger's (I'm sure he does, but I dx him lol). My daughter was

offically dx at age 16, just before she started college (she started at 16 at

our local community college). Anyway, things are really difficult with both of

them having it. I hate it. THey both drive me nuts!!!! Plus, I have to deal with

normal 17 yr old behaviors from my other daughter. She's a really good teen, but

still the whole behavior, eye rolling stuff drives me nuts. She thinks I'm a

control freak, and wants to do everything on her own, etc. drives me nuts. Her

no.1 thing is that she doesn't appreciate anything I do for her.

> Plus, my son's diabetes has to be monitored 24/7 and that can drive me crazy

too. He does have a pump and sensor (CGMS) but that's a real pain too. It's

never perfect since diabetes never is. Anyway, I could use some support,

especially from other moms who have a husband with it AND a child. Thanks,

>

> Benita

>

[Guest guest]

My 12 year old son has AS and was diagnosed at age 3.5. My husband has quite a

few AS traits. My son is actually the easiest person for me to get along with.

I have ADD with some AS traits. My daughter, age 9, has OCD, anxiety,

trichotillomania (pulls her hair out) and a lot of the coordination/motor

control issues and sensory integration issues that people with AS have. I have

more of these than my husband. My son and husband are both undersensitive to

most stimuli. My husband is an exceedingly rigid thinker. The world works his

way and that's just the only way it is. If it isn't then the world just sucks.

LOL. It's a good thing I'm probably the least rigid thinking person you'll ever

encounter. Every moment is filled with possibilities for things that can happen

and most of them are either positive or no big deal to me. For my husband there

are a very limited number of possibilities which will lead to good outcomes and

anything else is the end of the world. My son has spent most of his time with

me and I think that's why he's as laid back most of the time as I am. My

daughter is more rigid thinking like her dad, but again, being around me all the

time has helped her see the possibilities. My world is really much too

interesting most of the time.

I have degrees in psychology so I can step back and look at all of this from an

academic POV and that really helps me. I find all these people in my family to

be amazing and fascinating most of the time. The worst is when I am flexible

about what needs to be done around the house and my husband has very set ideas

about what needs to be done and I can't read his mind to figure out what that

is. UGH. We have more arguments over housework than anything else. It is

MADDENING.

Miriam

>

> Hi, my name is Benita, I'm a homeschooling mom to 3 kids. My kids are Brittany

(19 now, with Asperger's), Brea 17, 13 (with type 1 diabetes, insulin

dependent). We live in upstate NY (anyone else live near Albany)? My husband

also has asperger's (I'm sure he does, but I dx him lol). My daughter was

offically dx at age 16, just before she started college (she started at 16 at

our local community college). Anyway, things are really difficult with both of

them having it. I hate it. THey both drive me nuts!!!! Plus, I have to deal with

normal 17 yr old behaviors from my other daughter. She's a really good teen, but

still the whole behavior, eye rolling stuff drives me nuts. She thinks I'm a

control freak, and wants to do everything on her own, etc. drives me nuts. Her

no.1 thing is that she doesn't appreciate anything I do for her.

> Plus, my son's diabetes has to be monitored 24/7 and that can drive me crazy

too. He does have a pump and sensor (CGMS) but that's a real pain too. It's

never perfect since diabetes never is. Anyway, I could use some support,

especially from other moms who have a husband with it AND a child. Thanks,

>

> Benita

>

[Guest guest]

Miriam,

I understand that. THe housework is a huge thing here too. I feel like a drill SGT making my kids do the work they're supposed to be doing, the laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc. just to get through ONE DAY!!! It's exhausting to keep on top of them! My kids are 13, 17 and 19 but we haven't had a regular schedule, I have found they don't work well for us. But, maybe I should try again now that they're older. My 19 yr old is in college so that has to come first. She's very slow to do her work and a perfectionist (the one with AS) so I don't expect her to do much when school is in session. Just a little on the weekends usually.

Anyway, it's not easy....

Benita

From: mimasdprofile <callis4773@...> Sent: Sat, January 23, 2010 11:14:22 PMSubject: ( ) Re: Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!

My 12 year old son has AS and was diagnosed at age 3.5. My husband has quite a few AS traits. My son is actually the easiest person for me to get along with. I have ADD with some AS traits. My daughter, age 9, has OCD, anxiety, trichotillomania (pulls her hair out) and a lot of the coordination/ motor control issues and sensory integration issues that people with AS have. I have more of these than my husband. My son and husband are both undersensitive to most stimuli. My husband is an exceedingly rigid thinker. The world works his way and that's just the only way it is. If it isn't then the world just sucks. LOL. It's a good thing I'm probably the least rigid thinking person you'll ever encounter. Every moment is filled with possibilities for things that can happen and most of them are either positive or no big deal to me. For my husband there are a very limited number of possibilities which will lead to good outcomes and anything else is the end of

the world. My son has spent most of his time with me and I think that's why he's as laid back most of the time as I am. My daughter is more rigid thinking like her dad, but again, being around me all the time has helped her see the possibilities. My world is really much too interesting most of the time.I have degrees in psychology so I can step back and look at all of this from an academic POV and that really helps me. I find all these people in my family to be amazing and fascinating most of the time. The worst is when I am flexible about what needs to be done around the house and my husband has very set ideas about what needs to be done and I can't read his mind to figure out what that is. UGH. We have more arguments over housework than anything else. It is MADDENING.Miriam>> Hi, my name is Benita, I'm a homeschooling mom to 3 kids. My kids are Brittany (19 now, with Asperger's), Brea 17, 13 (with type 1 diabetes, insulin dependent). We live in upstate NY (anyone else live near Albany)? My husband also has asperger's (I'm sure he does, but I dx him lol). My daughter was offically dx at age 16, just before she started college (she started at 16 at our local community college). Anyway, things are really difficult with both of them having it. I hate it. THey both drive me nuts!!!! Plus, I have to deal with normal 17 yr old behaviors from my other daughter. She's a really good teen, but still the whole behavior, eye rolling stuff drives me nuts. She thinks I'm a control freak, and wants to do everything on her own, etc. drives me nuts. Her no.1 thing is that she doesn't appreciate anything I do for her. > Plus, my son's diabetes has

to be monitored 24/7 and that can drive me crazy too. He does have a pump and sensor (CGMS) but that's a real pain too. It's never perfect since diabetes never is. Anyway, I could use some support, especially from other moms who have a husband with it AND a child. Thanks,> > Benita>

[Guest guest]

Oh he'll do it, he does a TON of housework then gets mad because I'm not working

at the same pace or if he happens to see me sitting when he's working and he

hasn't been aware of me doing anything he assumes I've been on my butt all day.

> >

> > Hi, my name is Benita, I'm a homeschooling mom to 3 kids. My kids are

> Brittany (19 now, with Asperger's), Brea 17, 13 (with type 1

> diabetes, insulin dependent). We live in upstate NY (anyone else live

> near Albany)? My husband also has asperger's (I'm sure he does, but I

> dx him lol). My daughter was offically dx at age 16, just before she

> started college (she started at 16 at our local community college).

> Anyway, things are really difficult with both of them having it. I hate

> it. THey both drive me nuts!!!! Plus, I have to deal with normal 17 yr

> old behaviors from my other daughter. She's a really good teen, but

> still the whole behavior, eye rolling stuff drives me nuts. She thinks

> I'm a control freak, and wants to do everything on her own, etc. drives

> me nuts. Her no.1 thing is that she doesn't appreciate anything I do

> for her.

> > Plus, my son's diabetes has to be monitored 24/7 and that can drive

> me crazy too. He does have a pump and sensor (CGMS) but that's a real

> pain too. It's never perfect since diabetes never is. Anyway, I could

> use some support, especially from other moms who have a husband with it

> AND a child. Thanks,

> >

> > Benita

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Benita...

I have a daughter, 5, (acts like a teen sometimes!) who is diagnosed

with Asperger's and I think Hubby and I are both a bit Aspie but not

full blown I guess you could say. He suffered through school but is a

genius... especially mechanical and computer things which is the field

he is in now... Totally not interested in having friends but is quite

friendly now when I drag some home. LOL! He's learned a bit.

Btw... I live in Clifton Park! Howdy neighbor! Email me so I can find

you on Facebook or just chat...

Jen

Benita wrote:

>

> Hi, my name is Benita, I'm a homeschooling mom to 3 kids. My kids are

> Brittany (19 now, with Asperger's), Brea 17, 13 (with type 1

> diabetes, insulin dependent). We live in upstate NY (anyone else live

> near Albany)? My husband also has asperger's (I'm sure he does, but I

> dx him lol). My daughter was offically dx at age 16, just before she

> started college (she started at 16 at our local community college).

> Anyway, things are really difficult with both of them having it. I

> hate it. THey both drive me nuts!!!! Plus, I have to deal with normal

> 17 yr old behaviors from my other daughter. She's a really good teen,

> but still the whole behavior, eye rolling stuff drives me nuts. She

> thinks I'm a control freak, and wants to do everything on her own,

> etc. drives me nuts. Her no.1 thing is that she doesn't appreciate

> anything I do for her.

> Plus, my son's diabetes has to be monitored 24/7 and that can drive me

> crazy too. He does have a pump and sensor (CGMS) but that's a real

> pain too. It's never perfect since diabetes never is. Anyway, I could

> use some support, especially from other moms who have a husband with

> it AND a child. Thanks,

>

> Benita

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

>

> No virus found in this incoming message.

> Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

> Version: 8.5.432 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/2640 - Release Date: 01/23/10

07:33:00

>

>

No virus found in this outgoing message.

Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

Version: 8.5.432 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/2642 - Release Date: 01/24/10

07:33:00

[Guest guest]

Wow Benita my neighbor... we REALLY need to get together!! LOL! All I

can say is that I'm glad my Hubby and I were very good friends before we

got together b/c if not, we would have split a LONG time ago. Barely

anything more than friendship right now... we're in a rut. Sooo much

stress on me and he's not doing enough, etc. Typical stuff. He's like

" well, tell me what to do! " Gee, the dishes are dirty in the

dishwasher... maybe I should put detergent in and TURN IT ON.

*eyeroll*

You gotta laugh or you'll cry sometimes!

Jen

Emery 5 Aspie/Chronic Lyme

Benita Oliver wrote:

> Thanks. It's good to know that others also have hubbies that have

> asperger's. What are his characteristics? My dh drives me nuts! I'm

> really fed up with everything right now and just hanging on. With

> everything going on, it's just too much sometimes. I have really

> disconnected myself from my husband. I just feel like I can only hang

> on and no more.

>

> Benita

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> *From:* rushen janice <jrushen@...>

> *To:*

> *Sent:* Sat, January 23, 2010 11:31:54 AM

> *Subject:* Re: ( ) Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!

>

> I have a " Aspie " husband...I too dx him...LOL... and life with my son

> has not been the greatest...but then I hear stories like yours and I

> want to drive over to you and hug you and tell you it is okay...omg.. ..

> Hang in there...it is very tough...I know and you probably don't have

> a minute to yourself...make sure you take some time out for YOU!

> I never realized my husband has As until my son was DX with it. And,

> the more I look and read ...I realize he definitely has it. But, I

> look at it this way..my husband has survived.... has a good job and is

> a good person. So, I look at it this way...it is proof that our

> children will make it too.

> God Bless you and keep me up-to-date.. .the roller coaster ride can be

> shaky and frightening and tough...but the good moments will over-ride

> the rough ones.

> Jan

> <font face= " arial black " color= " #bf00bf " >Janice Rushen</font>

> <font face= " Arial Black " color= " #bf00bf " ></font> & nbsp;

> <em><font face= " Arial Black " color= " #7f007f " > " I will try to be open to

> all avenues of wisdom and hope " </font></em>

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> *From:* Benita <softenyourheart <http:///>>

> *To:*

> *Sent:* Sat, January 23, 2010 7:21:20 AM

> *Subject:* ( ) Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!

>

> Hi, my name is Benita, I'm a homeschooling mom to 3 kids. My kids are

> Brittany (19 now, with Asperger's), Brea 17, 13 (with type 1

> diabetes, insulin dependent). We live in upstate NY (anyone else live

> near Albany)? My husband also has asperger's (I'm sure he does, but I

> dx him lol). My daughter was offically dx at age 16, just before she

> started college (she started at 16 at our local community college).

> Anyway, things are really difficult with both of them having it. I

> hate it. THey both drive me nuts!!!! Plus, I have to deal with normal

> 17 yr old behaviors from my other daughter. She's a really good teen,

> but still the whole behavior, eye rolling stuff drives me nuts. She

> thinks I'm a control freak, and wants to do everything on her own,

> etc. drives me nuts. Her no.1 thing is that she doesn't appreciate

> anything I do for her.

> Plus, my son's diabetes has to be monitored 24/7 and that can drive me

> crazy too. He does have a pump and sensor (CGMS) but that's a real

> pain too. It's never perfect since diabetes never is. Anyway, I could

> use some support, especially from other moms who have a husband with

> it AND a child. Thanks,

>

> Benita

>

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

>

> No virus found in this incoming message.

> Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

> Version: 8.5.432 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/2640 - Release Date: 01/23/10

07:33:00

>

>

No virus found in this outgoing message.

Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

Version: 8.5.432 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/2642 - Release Date: 01/24/10

07:33:00

[Guest guest]

Hi to Benita and all others who've responded! I think we could use

the dishwasher loading " properly " as a dx tool for AS in hubbies!

ah hahahahah when I read that it was sooooo familiar.

My daughter

inherited from his side, she is 21 and attending college, lives in

an off college apartment and thinks she knows everything. We used

to get along very well, and I miss her terribly as she doesn't

contact me at all about anything anymore. Does anyone else have

this experience????? Do they ever come back???? Or does AS mean

they are gone for good from my life??? I mean, I am proud that she

is able to manage it and have friends, but I MISS her. She doesn't

even like me to email or call her anymore. I was so busy with

getting her through to this point I think I also grieve not having

that to DO anymore either as she is my only. Any thoughts?

Thanks! Jo

[Guest guest]

Yes, yes, yes....I could have written this letter myself.

Benita

From: H <jenuhferr@...> Sent: Sun, January 24, 2010 7:28:16 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!

Wow Benita my neighbor... we REALLY need to get together!! LOL! All I can say is that I'm glad my Hubby and I were very good friends before we got together b/c if not, we would have split a LONG time ago. Barely anything more than friendship right now... we're in a rut. Sooo much stress on me and he's not doing enough, etc. Typical stuff. He's like "well, tell me what to do!" Gee, the dishes are dirty in the dishwasher.. . maybe I should put detergent in and TURN IT ON.*eyeroll*You gotta laugh or you'll cry sometimes!Jen :)Emery 5 Aspie/Chronic LymeBenita Oliver wrote:> Thanks. It's good to know that others also have hubbies that have > asperger's. What are his characteristics? My dh drives me nuts! I'm > really fed up with everything right now and just hanging on. With > everything going on, it's just too much sometimes. I have really > disconnected

myself from my husband. I just feel like I can only hang > on and no more.>> Benita>> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -> *From:* rushen janice <jrushen (DOT) com>> *To:* > *Sent:* Sat, January 23, 2010 11:31:54 AM> *Subject:* Re: ( ) Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!>> I have a "Aspie" husband...I too dx him...LOL... and life with my son > has not been the greatest...but then I hear stories like yours and I > want to drive over to you and hug you and tell you it is okay...omg.. ..> Hang in there...it is very tough...I know and you probably

don't have > a minute to yourself...make sure you take some time out for YOU!> I never realized my husband has As until my son was DX with it. And, > the more I look and read ...I realize he definitely has it. But, I > look at it this way..my husband has survived.... has a good job and is > a good person. So, I look at it this way...it is proof that our > children will make it too.> God Bless you and keep me up-to-date.. .the roller coaster ride can be > shaky and frightening and tough...but the good moments will over-ride > the rough ones.> Jan> <font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf" >Janice Rushen</font>> <font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf" ></font> & nbsp;> <em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f" >"I will try to be open to > all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font> </em>>>>

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -> *From:* Benita <softenyourheart <http://. com/>>> *To:* > *Sent:* Sat, January 23, 2010 7:21:20 AM> *Subject:* ( ) Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!>> Hi, my name is Benita, I'm a homeschooling mom to 3 kids. My kids are > Brittany (19 now, with Asperger's), Brea 17, 13 (with type 1 > diabetes, insulin dependent). We live in upstate NY (anyone else live > near Albany)? My husband also has asperger's (I'm sure he does, but I > dx him lol). My daughter was offically dx at age 16, just before she > started college (she started at 16 at our local community college). > Anyway, things are really difficult with both of them having

it. I > hate it. THey both drive me nuts!!!! Plus, I have to deal with normal > 17 yr old behaviors from my other daughter. She's a really good teen, > but still the whole behavior, eye rolling stuff drives me nuts. She > thinks I'm a control freak, and wants to do everything on her own, > etc. drives me nuts. Her no.1 thing is that she doesn't appreciate > anything I do for her.> Plus, my son's diabetes has to be monitored 24/7 and that can drive me > crazy too. He does have a pump and sensor (CGMS) but that's a real > pain too. It's never perfect since diabetes never is. Anyway, I could > use some support, especially from other moms who have a husband with > it AND a child. Thanks,>> Benita>>>> > ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ->>> No virus found in this incoming

message.> Checked by AVG - www.avg.com > Version: 8.5.432 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/2640 - Release Date: 01/23/10 07:33:00>>

[Guest guest]

My hubby usually loads the dishwasher or fixes it after I've already done it.

He uses " group theory " . It's a math thing and a total asperger way of thinking.

He's able to fit more into the dishwasher than I am. He's not allowed to

criticize me on it but if he wants to try to fit more in he's welcome to it so I

always tell him that.

Once he got mad at me for putting sheets on a hot setting in the washer. I have

terrible allergies to dust mites so I washed them on hot for that reason. What

I said to him was, " I'm your wife and I love you. DO YOU REALLY WANT TO ARGUE

ABOUT THIS?! "

>

> Hi to Benita and all others who've responded! I think we could use

> the dishwasher loading " properly " as a dx tool for AS in hubbies!

> ah hahahahah when I read that it was sooooo familiar.

> My daughter

> inherited from his side, she is 21 and attending college, lives in

> an off college apartment and thinks she knows everything. We used

> to get along very well, and I miss her terribly as she doesn't

> contact me at all about anything anymore. Does anyone else have

> this experience????? Do they ever come back???? Or does AS mean

> they are gone for good from my life??? I mean, I am proud that she

> is able to manage it and have friends, but I MISS her. She doesn't

> even like me to email or call her anymore. I was so busy with

> getting her through to this point I think I also grieve not having

> that to DO anymore either as she is my only. Any thoughts?

> Thanks! Jo

>

[Guest guest]

I know what you mean Benita my ex husband is a raging alcoholic who doesnt pay child support, I am struggling to keep the house and the elders from the church are coming over to see what they can do to help. Ex's whole family hates ME and does not communicate with my son so we have no family support. s behavior has been a little better since we put a behavior plan in action and the meds got bumped up a little. I am so unhappy with bieng so poor and worried about keeping my house, I am disabled too which makes it hard. I had two nervous breakdowns over the divorce and have PTSD and bipolar. Even though I havent had an episode in years the lack of support and the bills keep me constantly panicked...I keep seeking God because I seem to think that is all that can help me right now.

Marcia

( ) Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!

Hi, my name is Benita, I'm a homeschooling mom to 3 kids. My kids are Brittany (19 now, with Asperger's), Brea 17, 13 (with type 1 diabetes, insulin dependent). We live in upstate NY (anyone else live near Albany)? My husband also has asperger's (I'm sure he does, but I dx him lol). My daughter was offically dx at age 16, just before she started college (she started at 16 at our local community college). Anyway, things are really difficult with both of them having it. I hate it. THey both drive me nuts!!!! Plus, I have to deal with normal 17 yr old behaviors from my other daughter. She's a really good teen, but still the whole behavior, eye rolling stuff drives me nuts. She thinks I'm a control freak, and wants to do everything on her own, etc. drives me nuts. Her no.1 thing is that she doesn't appreciate anything I do for her.

Plus, my son's diabetes has to be monitored 24/7 and that can drive me crazy too. He does have a pump and sensor

(CGMS) but that's a real pain too. It's never perfect since diabetes never is. Anyway, I could use some support, especially from other moms who have a husband with it AND a child. Thanks,

Benita

[Guest guest]

God will provide. Just keep going to church.

From: "marcial7777@..." <marcial7777@...> Sent: Mon, January 25, 2010 8:36:26 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!

I know what you mean Benita my ex husband is a raging alcoholic who doesnt pay child support, I am struggling to keep the house and the elders from the church are coming over to see what they can do to help. Ex's whole family hates ME and does not communicate with my son so we have no family support. s behavior has been a little better since we put a behavior plan in action and the meds got bumped up a little. I am so unhappy with bieng so poor and worried about keeping my house, I am disabled too which makes it hard. I had two nervous breakdowns over the divorce and have PTSD and bipolar. Even though I havent had an episode in years the lack of support and the bills keep me constantly panicked...I keep seeking God because I seem to think that is all that can help me right now.Marcia

( ) Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!

Hi, my name is Benita, I'm a homeschooling mom to 3 kids. My kids are Brittany (19 now, with Asperger's), Brea 17, 13 (with type 1 diabetes, insulin dependent). We live in upstate NY (anyone else live near Albany)? My husband also has asperger's (I'm sure he does, but I dx him lol). My daughter was offically dx at age 16, just before she started college (she started at 16 at our local community college). Anyway, things are really difficult with both of them having it. I hate it. THey both drive me nuts!!!! Plus, I have to deal with normal 17 yr old behaviors from my other daughter. She's a really good teen, but still the whole behavior, eye rolling stuff drives me nuts. She thinks I'm a control freak, and wants to do everything on her own, etc. drives me nuts. Her no.1 thing is that she doesn't appreciate anything I do for her. Plus, my son's diabetes has to be monitored 24/7 and that can drive me crazy too. He does have a pump and sensor

(CGMS) but that's a real pain too. It's never perfect since diabetes never is. Anyway, I could use some support, especially from other moms who have a husband with it AND a child. Thanks,Benita

[Guest guest]

I also could have written this letter. I'm also bipolar and also have

Chronic Lyme which just will not give me a freakin break. My patience is

so short. Tonight during my daughter's prayer she asked God to make me

nicer. I've turned into a yeller big time because lately she is just

nonstop jabbering and jumping around and moving and running around the

apartment and then hurting me by accident or almost hurting herself...

drives me to the edge!! Thank goodness for meds even though I hate them.

I know that often spectrum kids have bipolar in their family history

which was interesting for me since I was only just diagnosed last year

(suffered a loooong time before that). I've really reached out to God

(don't want to offend anyone) and I just pray and pray for strength and

patience... All I can do!

Jen

marcial7777@... wrote:

>

> I know what you mean Benita my ex husband is a raging alcoholic who

> doesnt pay child support, I am struggling to keep the house and the

> elders from the church are coming over to see what they can do to

> help. Ex's whole family hates ME and does not communicate with my son

> so we have no family support. s behavior has been a little

> better since we put a behavior plan in action and the meds got bumped

> up a little. I am so unhappy with bieng so poor and worried about

> keeping my house, I am disabled too which makes it hard. I had two

> nervous breakdowns over the divorce and have PTSD and bipolar. Even

> though I havent had an episode in years the lack of support and the

> bills keep me constantly panicked...I keep seeking God because I seem

> to think that is all that can help me right now.

>

> Marcia

>

>

>

> * ( ) Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!

>

> Hi, my name is Benita, I'm a homeschooling mom to 3 kids. My kids are

> Brittany (19 now, with Asperger's), Brea 17, 13 (with type 1

> diabetes, insulin dependent). We live in upstate NY (anyone else live

> near Albany)? My husband also has asperger's (I'm sure he does, but I

> dx him lol). My daughter was offically dx at age 16, just before she

> started college (she started at 16 at our local community college).

> Anyway, things are really difficult with both of them having it. I

> hate it. THey both drive me nuts!!!! Plus, I have to deal with normal

> 17 yr old behaviors from my other daughter. She's a really good teen,

> but still the whole behavior, eye rolling stuff drives me nuts. She

> thinks I'm a control freak, and wants to do everything on her own,

> etc. drives me nuts. Her no.1 thing is that she doesn't appreciate

> anything I do for her.

> Plus, my son's diabetes has to be monitored 24/7 and that can drive me

> crazy too. He does have a pump and sensor (CGMS) but that's a real

> pain too. It's never perfect since diabetes never is. Anyway, I could

> use some support, especially from other moms who have a husband with

> it AND a child. Thanks,

>

> Benita

>

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

>

> No virus found in this incoming message.

> Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

> Version: 8.5.432 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/2644 - Release Date: 01/25/10

07:36:00

>

>

No virus found in this outgoing message.

Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

Version: 8.5.432 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/2644 - Release Date: 01/25/10

07:36:00

[Guest guest]

Give your problems to God. He will handle them. Just love the Lord and he will help you and guide you thru this period of time. God is always there ...every moment....he will lead you and protect you.

Jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: Benita Oliver <softenyourheart@...> Sent: Mon, January 25, 2010 5:41:20 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!

God will provide. Just keep going to church.

From: "marcial7777@ aol.com" <marcial7777@ aol.com> Sent: Mon, January 25, 2010 8:36:26 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!

I know what you mean Benita my ex husband is a raging alcoholic who doesnt pay child support, I am struggling to keep the house and the elders from the church are coming over to see what they can do to help. Ex's whole family hates ME and does not communicate with my son so we have no family support. s behavior has been a little better since we put a behavior plan in action and the meds got bumped up a little. I am so unhappy with bieng so poor and worried about keeping my house, I am disabled too which makes it hard. I had two nervous breakdowns over the divorce and have PTSD and bipolar. Even though I havent had an episode in years the lack of support and the bills keep me constantly panicked...I keep seeking God because I seem to think that is all that can help me right now.Marcia

( ) Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!

Hi, my name is Benita, I'm a homeschooling mom to 3 kids. My kids are Brittany (19 now, with Asperger's), Brea 17, 13 (with type 1 diabetes, insulin dependent). We live in upstate NY (anyone else live near Albany)? My husband also has asperger's (I'm sure he does, but I dx him lol). My daughter was offically dx at age 16, just before she started college (she started at 16 at our local community college). Anyway, things are really difficult with both of them having it. I hate it. THey both drive me nuts!!!! Plus, I have to deal with normal 17 yr old behaviors from my other daughter. She's a really good teen, but still the whole behavior, eye rolling stuff drives me nuts. She thinks I'm a control freak, and wants to do everything on her own, etc. drives me nuts. Her no.1 thing is that she doesn't appreciate anything I do for her. Plus, my son's diabetes has to be monitored 24/7 and that can drive me crazy too. He does have a pump and sensor

(CGMS) but that's a real pain too. It's never perfect since diabetes never is. Anyway, I could use some support, especially from other moms who have a husband with it AND a child. Thanks,Benita

[Guest guest]

Thank u and yes his mother and i are filling out the conners form today and the

school will be testing him shortly. i'm sure your 5yo benefits from your exp

with the 16yo sibling. geo

- ( ) Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!

>

>  

> Hi, my name is Benita, I'm a homeschooling mom to 3 kids. My kids are Brittany

(19 now, with Asperger's), Brea 17, 13 (with type 1 diabetes, insulin

dependent). We live in upstate NY (anyone else live near Albany)? My husband

also has asperger's (I'm sure he does, but I dx him lol). My daughter was

offically dx at age 16, just before she started college (she started at 16 at

our local community college). Anyway, things are really difficult with both of

them having it. I hate it. THey both drive me nuts!!!! Plus, I have to deal with

normal 17 yr old behaviors from my other daughter. She's a really good teen, but

still the whole behavior, eye rolling stuff drives me nuts. She thinks I'm a

control freak, and wants to do everything on her own, etc. drives me nuts. Her

no.1 thing is that she doesn't appreciate anything I do for her.

> Plus, my son's diabetes has to be monitored 24/7 and that can drive me crazy

too. He does have a pump and sensor (CGMS) but that's a real pain too. It's

never perfect since diabetes never is. Anyway, I could use some support,

especially from other moms who have a husband with it AND a child. Thanks,

>

> Benita

>

[Guest guest]

Try earplugs Jen, the benefits are two fold: it softens the noise in the room so you have inner-quiet and your own voice will rattle in your head when you do speak, which will encourage you not to yell. >> I know what you mean Benita my ex husband is a raging alcoholic who > doesnt pay child support, I am struggling to keep the house and the > elders from the church are coming over to see what they can do to > help. Ex's whole family hates ME and does not communicate with my son > so we have no family support. s behavior has been a little > better since we put a behavior plan in action and the meds got bumped > up a little. I am so unhappy with bieng so poor and worried about > keeping my house, I am disabled too which makes it hard. I had two > nervous breakdowns over the divorce and have PTSD and bipolar. Even > though I havent had an episode in years the lack of support and the > bills keep me constantly panicked...I keep

seeking God because I seem > to think that is all that can help me right now.>> Marcia>>>> * ( ) Newbie::::Aspie family, ugh!>> Hi, my name is Benita, I'm a homeschooling mom to 3 kids. My kids are > Brittany (19 now, with Asperger's), Brea 17, 13 (with type 1 > diabetes, insulin dependent). We live in upstate NY (anyone else live > near Albany)? My husband also has asperger's (I'm sure he does, but I > dx him lol). My daughter was offically dx at age 16, just before she > started college (she started at 16 at our local community college). > Anyway, things are really difficult with both of them having

it. I > hate it. THey both drive me nuts!!!! Plus, I have to deal with normal > 17 yr old behaviors from my other daughter. She's a really good teen, > but still the whole behavior, eye rolling stuff drives me nuts. She > thinks I'm a control freak, and wants to do everything on her own, > etc. drives me nuts. Her no.1 thing is that she doesn't appreciate > anything I do for her.> Plus, my son's diabetes has to be monitored 24/7 and that can drive me > crazy too. He does have a pump and sensor (CGMS) but that's a real > pain too. It's never perfect since diabetes never is. Anyway, I could > use some support, especially from other moms who have a husband with > it AND a child. Thanks,>> Benita>>>> > ------------------------------------------------------------------------>>> No virus found in this incoming

message.> Checked by AVG - www.avg.com > Version: 8.5.432 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/2644 - Release Date: 01/25/10 07:36:00>> ------------------------------------