Guest guest Posted March 26, 2011 Report Share Posted March 26, 2011 My son will even blame inanimate objects. If he were to hurt himself on a chair or something, he would say "stupid chair!".Sent via DROID on Verizon Wireless ( ) Not owning Jd 15 he never takes responsibilty for his own actions always wasn't him or he didn't do it . Can be so fustrating grr I try not to sweat small stuff but with drama all the time. Makes that hard thanks for listening. Been rough niteSent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2011 Report Share Posted March 27, 2011 my son does not own his actions either, it is always somebody else is fault. So he does not learn from them. For his birthday I bought him a laptop . 2 months later I took laptop for a week to punish him for something. He says' the computer is registered in my name you cannot take it! You are taking it for no reason. You are stealing it. LOL Theresa StoopsCoordinator OfFlorida F.A.S.D. Interagency Action Group 850-408-3789 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2011 Report Share Posted March 27, 2011 My son does that too. I tried to create a rule with him: if it doesn't move, if it doesn't have a soul of its own, you can blame it. Every time my son wants to blame something else for causing him pain or grief, I remind him of this rule. I hth,EddieSent from my iPhoneOn 2011-03-27, at 12:10 AM, "kfronefield@..."<kfronefield@...> wrote: My son will even blame inanimate objects. If he were to hurt himself on a chair or something, he would say "stupid chair!".Sent via DROID on Verizon Wireless ( ) Not owning Jd 15 he never takes responsibilty for his own actions always wasn't him or he didn't do it . Can be so fustrating grr I try not to sweat small stuff but with drama all the time. Makes that hard thanks for listening. Been rough nite Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2011 Report Share Posted March 28, 2011 Does anyone know how to work with kids on this problem? This is one we go round and round about. How can someone so amart never see it! He usually " pulls a card " oe 2 @ school everyday. It is NEVER his fault. The teacher usually makes him pull a card for " no reason " or it starts off with, " it wasn't my fault, it was so and sos fault " . We constantly argue about this and it drives me crazy that he cannot see his responsibility in anything. He supposedly plipped somebody off a couple of weeks ago and it was hard for me to defend him because nothing is ever his fault and he never does anything he gets in trouble for. I did actually defend for him on this only because I really don't think he would do that...in fact, when questioned he didn't even know what flipping someone off meant. He was acussed of cussing prior to all this, but again, I worry about defending for him as I cannot believe him ever! Luckily, the teacher did find out the kids lied about him flipping anyone off! My son is to rule oriented to do those things....not to mention he cried once when he heard me cuss (we just don't do that in front of him)! I wonder if he seriously does not get it! I suppose social stories could help, but I wouldn't even know where to begin. I can't cover every situation that may occur! --- In , My " kfronefield@... " <kfronefield@...> wrote: > > My son will even blame inanimate objects. If he were to hurt himself on a > chair or something, he would say " stupid chair! " . > > Sent via DROID on Verizon Wireless > > ( ) Not owning > > Jd 15 he never takes responsibilty for his own actions always wasn't him or > he didn't do it . Can be so fustrating grr I try not to sweat small stuff > but with drama all the time. Makes that hard thanks for listening. Been > rough nite > Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2011 Report Share Posted March 28, 2011 They have to see there behavior as not acceptable as needing to be changed. They are often such ridgid thinkers they feel so justified in their behaviors. And maybe they are not able to be more flexible so it is hard to admit there is something wrong with them. I do try to tell my daughter when she argues that she is too locked into an idea and too obsessed to take a break and calm down, I hope it sinks in. There has to be more self awareness to move to the next step of accepting responsibity and finding ways to control themselves better. Pam t, she still ebe > > Jd 15 he never takes responsibilty for his own actions always wasn't him or he didn't do it . Can be so fustrating grr I try not to sweat small stuff but with drama all the time. Makes that hard thanks for listening. Been rough nite > Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2011 Report Share Posted March 28, 2011 Would seeing themselves on videotape doing something wrong help them understand that what they did was wrong? My daughter denies responsibility for anything and everything and at times I swear she actually believes that she did nothing wrong. The other day she threw a Wii remote at her sister and broke a plexiglass panel out of a door. Sometimes I wonder if when she is upset, she goes into another world and afterwards creates her own version of reality when confronted. From: susanonderko@...Date: Mon, 28 Mar 2011 19:44:15 +0000Subject: ( ) Re: Not owning They have to see there behavior as not acceptable as needing to be changed. They are often such ridgid thinkers they feelso justified in their behaviors. And maybe they are not able to be more flexible so it is hardto admit there is something wrong with them. I do try to tell my daughter when she argues that she is toolocked into an idea and too obsessed to take a break and calm down, I hope it sinks in. There has to be more self awareness to move to the nextstep of accepting responsibity and finding ways to controlthemselves better. Pam t, she still ebe >> Jd 15 he never takes responsibilty for his own actions always wasn't him or he didn't do it . Can be so fustrating grr I try not to sweat small stuff but with drama all the time. Makes that hard thanks for listening. Been rough nite> Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2011 Report Share Posted March 29, 2011 My son is often the same way. Saying or doing something that is inappropriate or disrespectful etc then not seeing it that way. When we try to explain it to him he often doesn't " get it " , still insisting he is right. There are times however, that after explaining it to him in a different way or with an example using him as the " victim " he gets the picture. This doesn't always work though because AS kids' perception of the world is different than ours and they just see things their way sometimes. It is very frustrating. Our son's school recently decided to video modeling but they are draggging their feet on getting it started. I will let you know if and when we get this going if it has any benifit. I'm willing to give anything a try. Maybe some other parents have tried it already and can give more feedback. ne > From: M CULP <marshaculp@...> > Subject: RE: ( ) Re: Not owning > Aspergers Treatment > Date: Monday, March 28, 2011, 3:52 PM > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >  > > > > > > > > > > > > > Would seeing themselves on videotape doing something > wrong help them understand that what they did was > wrong? My daughter denies responsibility for anything > and everything and at times I swear she actually > believes that she did nothing wrong. The other > day she threw a Wii remote at her sister and broke > a plexiglass panel out of a door. Sometimes I > wonder if when she is upset, she goes into another world and > afterwards creates her own version of reality when > confronted.  > > > > > From: susanonderko@... > Date: Mon, 28 Mar 2011 19:44:15 +0000 > Subject: ( ) Re: Not owning > > >  > > > > They have to see there behavior as not acceptable as > needing to > be changed. They are often such ridgid thinkers they feel > so justified in their behaviors. > > And maybe they are not able to be more flexible so it is > hard > to admit there is something wrong with them. > > I do try to tell my daughter when she argues that she is > too > locked into an idea and too obsessed to take a break and > calm down, I hope it sinks in. > > There has to be more self awareness to move to the next > step of accepting responsibity and finding ways to control > themselves better. > > Pam > t, > she still ebe > > > > > > Jd 15 he never takes responsibilty for his own actions > always wasn't him or he didn't do it . Can be so > fustrating grr I try not to sweat small stuff but with drama > all the time. Makes that hard thanks for listening. Been > rough nite > > Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2011 Report Share Posted March 29, 2011 thanks for everone responding i know he can't help it.it does worry me what gonna happen as adult will it always be like this him not owning up blaming others> From: M CULP <marshaculp@...>> Subject: RE: ( ) Re: Not owning> Aspergers Treatment > Date: Monday, March 28, 2011, 3:52 PM> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Would seeing themselves on videotape doing something> wrong help them understand that what they did was> wrong? My daughter denies responsibility for anything> and everything and at times I swear she actually> believes that she did nothing wrong. The other> day she threw a Wii remote at her sister and broke> a plexiglass panel out of a door. Sometimes I> wonder if when she is upset, she goes into another world and> afterwards creates her own version of reality when> confronted. > > > > > From: susanonderko@...> Date: Mon, 28 Mar 2011 19:44:15 +0000> Subject: ( ) Re: Not owning> > > > > > > They have to see there behavior as not acceptable as> needing to > be changed. They are often such ridgid thinkers they feel> so justified in their behaviors. > > And maybe they are not able to be more flexible so it is> hard> to admit there is something wrong with them. > > I do try to tell my daughter when she argues that she is> too> locked into an idea and too obsessed to take a break and > calm down, I hope it sinks in. > > There has to be more self awareness to move to the next> step of accepting responsibity and finding ways to control> themselves better. > > Pam > t, > she still ebe > > > >> > Jd 15 he never takes responsibilty for his own actions> always wasn't him or he didn't do it . Can be so> fustrating grr I try not to sweat small stuff but with drama> all the time. Makes that hard thanks for listening. Been> rough nite> > Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile> >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2011 Report Share Posted March 29, 2011 my boyfriend son does this i'm trying to teach him table manners she likes talking about gross things when were eating atleast now he catching himself he will say sorry atleast i got somewhere maybe that's best for now> From: M CULP <marshaculp@...>> Subject: RE: ( ) Re: Not owning> Aspergers Treatment > Date: Monday, March 28, 2011, 3:52 PM> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Would seeing themselves on videotape doing something> wrong help them understand that what they did was> wrong? My daughter denies responsibility for anything> and everything and at times I swear she actually> believes that she did nothing wrong. The other> day she threw a Wii remote at her sister and broke> a plexiglass panel out of a door. Sometimes I> wonder if when she is upset, she goes into another world and> afterwards creates her own version of reality when> confronted. > > > > > From: susanonderko@...> Date: Mon, 28 Mar 2011 19:44:15 +0000> Subject: ( ) Re: Not owning> > > > > > > They have to see there behavior as not acceptable as> needing to > be changed. They are often such ridgid thinkers they feel> so justified in their behaviors. > > And maybe they are not able to be more flexible so it is> hard> to admit there is something wrong with them. > > I do try to tell my daughter when she argues that she is> too> locked into an idea and too obsessed to take a break and > calm down, I hope it sinks in. > > There has to be more self awareness to move to the next> step of accepting responsibity and finding ways to control> themselves better. > > Pam > t, > she still ebe > > > >> > Jd 15 he never takes responsibilty for his own actions> always wasn't him or he didn't do it . Can be so> fustrating grr I try not to sweat small stuff but with drama> all the time. Makes that hard thanks for listening. Been> rough nite> > Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile> >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2011 Report Share Posted March 29, 2011 sometimes after a time out he thinks about his actions and says he sorry this is something new lately when he gets too upset i tell to go in his room calm down when he calms down we can talk about it if he wants From: Pamela <susanonderko@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Not owning Date: Monday, March 28, 2011, 7:44 PM They have to see there behavior as not acceptable as needing to be changed. They are often such ridgid thinkers they feelso justified in their behaviors. And maybe they are not able to be more flexible so it is hardto admit there is something wrong with them. I do try to tell my daughter when she argues that she is toolocked into an idea and too obsessed to take a break and calm down, I hope it sinks in. There has to be more self awareness to move to the nextstep of accepting responsibity and finding ways to controlthemselves better. Pam t, she still ebe >> Jd 15 he never takes responsibilty for his own actions always wasn't him or he didn't do it . Can be so fustrating grr I try not to sweat small stuff but with drama all the time. Makes that hard thanks for listening. Been rough nite> Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2011 Report Share Posted March 29, 2011 i was thinking of video tapping but you would need it on all the time but, i can see that wii thing happening .When my jd comes home from school he goes to a spectrum school if there is a incident with a teacher or a school aide his version he totally the victim i do think he leaves things out at time not saying he always wrong but i do know he views himself as a victim thanks for writing to me From: M CULP <marshaculp@...>Subject: RE: ( ) Re: Not owningAspergers Treatment Date: Monday, March 28, 2011, 7:52 PM Would seeing themselves on videotape doing something wrong help them understand that what they did was wrong? My daughter denies responsibility for anything and everything and at times I swear she actually believes that she did nothing wrong. The other day she threw a Wii remote at her sister and broke a plexiglass panel out of a door. Sometimes I wonder if when she is upset, she goes into another world and afterwards creates her own version of reality when confronted. From: susanonderko@...Date: Mon, 28 Mar 2011 19:44:15 +0000Subject: ( ) Re: Not owning They have to see there behavior as not acceptable as needing to be changed. They are often such ridgid thinkers they feelso justified in their behaviors. And maybe they are not able to be more flexible so it is hardto admit there is something wrong with them. I do try to tell my daughter when she argues that she is toolocked into an idea and too obsessed to take a break and calm down, I hope it sinks in. There has to be more self awareness to move to the nextstep of accepting responsibity and finding ways to controlthemselves better. Pam t, she still ebe >> Jd 15 he never takes responsibilty for his own actions always wasn't him or he didn't do it . Can be so fustrating grr I try not to sweat small stuff but with drama all the time. Makes that hard thanks for listening. Been rough nite> Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2011 Report Share Posted March 29, 2011 You might try looking into "theory of mind" and activities that would improve that area. Many times, kids don't see the link or cause/effect relationship. I think this kind of problem highlights that deficit. My older ds always had this same problem so when my younger came along, we did aggressive work in "theory of mind" early on and he seems to really get the cause/effect stuff now. I don't know if he would have anyway but I doubt it as he has had more problems than my older did. Roxanna May those who love us, love us And those who don't love us, May God turn their hearts And if he can't turn their hearts, May he turn their ankles So we will know them by their limping! ( ) Re: Not owning > > > > > > > They have to see there behavior as not acceptable as > needing to > be changed. They are often such ridgid thinkers they feel > so justified in their behaviors. > > And maybe they are not able to be more flexible so it is > hard > to admit there is something wrong with them. > > I do try to tell my daughter when she argues that she is > too > locked into an idea and too obsessed to take a break and > calm down, I hope it sinks in. > > There has to be more self awareness to move to the next > step of accepting responsibity and finding ways to control > themselves better. > > Pam > t, > she still ebe > > > > > > Jd 15 he never takes responsibilty for his own actions > always wasn't him or he didn't do it . Can be so > fustrating grr I try not to sweat small stuff but with drama > all the time. Makes that hard thanks for listening. Been > rough nite > > Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2011 Report Share Posted March 29, 2011 My daughter uses those exact words. You are stealing my things. And if I say to her you are too obsessive about having this item you want. ( I try to name her behavior) this triggers her, and she will really hit me saying you should not say something like that to a person. I try to explain ...look you are yelling in my face for an hour and won't take a break from this idea ...what do you call that ...and she says I do admit I am strong willed ...the whole conversation is frustrating She is so locked into at that moment that I am wrong ... and she just wanted to talk about her getting something she needed (but she was yelling and in my face and won't take a break). The best I think I can do is to continue to use behavior therapy, she was yelling at me, that is not cooperating so she does not earn computer time for that part of the day. That she accepts and understands. Pam > wrote: > > my son does not own his actions either, it is always somebody else is fault. > So he does not learn from them. > > For his birthday I bought him a laptop . 2 months later I took laptop for a week to punish him for something. > He says' the computer is registered in my name you cannot take it! > You are taking it for no reason. > You are stealing it. LOL > > > Theresa Stoops > Coordinator Of > Florida F.A.S.D. Interagency Action Group > 850-408-3789 > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2011 Report Share Posted March 29, 2011 sounds like jdnever his fault i guess thats how there mind works From: cmt263 <gina9431@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Not owning Date: Monday, March 28, 2011, 4:35 PM Does anyone know how to work with kids on this problem? This is one we go round and round about. How can someone so amart never see it! He usually "pulls a card" oe 2 @ school everyday. It is NEVER his fault. The teacher usually makes him pull a card for "no reason" or it starts off with, "it wasn't my fault, it was so and sos fault". We constantly argue about this and it drives me crazy that he cannot see his responsibility in anything. He supposedly plipped somebody off a couple of weeks ago and it was hard for me to defend him because nothing is ever his fault and he never does anything he gets in trouble for. I did actually defend for him on this only because I really don't think he would do that...in fact, when questioned he didn't even know what flipping someone off meant. He was acussed of cussing prior to all this, but again, I worry about defending for him as I cannot believe him ever! Luckily, the teacher did find out the kids lied about him flipping anyone off! My son is to rule oriented to do those things....not to mention he cried once when he heard me cuss (we just don't do that in front of him)!I wonder if he seriously does not get it! I suppose social stories could help, but I wouldn't even know where to begin. I can't cover every situation that may occur!>> My son will even blame inanimate objects. If he were to hurt himself on a > chair or something, he would say "stupid chair!".> > Sent via DROID on Verizon Wireless> > ( ) Not owning> > Jd 15 he never takes responsibilty for his own actions always wasn't him or > he didn't do it . Can be so fustrating grr I try not to sweat small stuff > but with drama all the time. Makes that hard thanks for listening. Been > rough nite> Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2011 Report Share Posted March 29, 2011 jd like you took my things everything is mine he accuses ppl of taking stuff lots of times he forgets where he put his things so it's drama time>> my son does not own his actions either, it is always somebody else is fault.> So he does not learn from them.> > For his birthday I bought him a laptop . 2 months later I took laptop for a week to punish him for something.> He says' the computer is registered in my name you cannot take it!> You are taking it for no reason.> You are stealing it. LOL> > > Theresa Stoops> Coordinator Of> Florida F.A.S.D. Interagency Action Group > 850-408-3789> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2011 Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 my son also blames inanimate objects... " Stupid Chair! " > > > > > > Jd 15 he never takes responsibilty for his own actions > > always wasn't him or he didn't do it . Can be so > > fustrating grr I try not to sweat small stuff but with drama > > all the time. Makes that hard thanks for listening. Been > > rough nite > > > Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2011 Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 Jd does also Sent via BlackBerry from T-MobileFrom: "nicolea102602" <nicolea102602@...>Sender: Date: Wed, 30 Mar 2011 14:01:24 -0000< >Reply Subject: ( ) Re: Not owning my son also blames inanimate objects... " Stupid Chair! " > > >> > > Jd 15 he never takes responsibilty for his own actions> > always wasn't him or he didn't do it . Can be so> > fustrating grr I try not to sweat small stuff but with drama> > all the time. Makes that hard thanks for listening. Been> > rough nite> > > Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile> > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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