Re: Re: self absorbed behaviors replace anxiety

[Guest guest]

Hey girls,

This is what our psych told us. Our son needs a structured environment--where he understands the routine, what is expected, when it will happen, very organized--but not rigid--or he will have a melt-down or not respond.

So I'm trying now to find that happy place--for example--he will meltdown if someone yells at him or gets in his face. However, he always insists on completing his activitty--so what she suggested is this:

Okay you can finish this level on the game WHEN you have finished this task (whatever he should be doing). So as soon as you finish brushing your teeth, you can finish that level quickly. Then it's time for bed.

Actually believe it or not it is working for us. For the first time ever!!!! We have read every book tried everything, but stopping and listening to him, and acknowledging what he wants to say/finish, as soon as he finishes this task, is working for us.

Just a thought--because trust me--we struggle witht he same type of thingsl. You can't just send him to do task a--because he ends up doing task b or c--hahah!

Hugs

Kristal

Purrs & Kisses,

Kristal of Digi Kitty

The Kitty who loves Digi!

Designer for the VDBC "More" Team - you can see my designs HERE!!!

From: Pamela <susanonderko@...>Subject: ( ) Re: self absorbed behaviors replace anxiety Date: Monday, May 24, 2010, 1:05 PM

Thank you all for your responses. I too as others have said find that a structured environment helps alot but as othershave said my daughter is very dependent on my prompts and moreprompts. Our behavoritst and counselor suggested I get militant about her sticking to a time schedule, last nightat bed time she insisted that she wanted to paint her nails. All I could do was nag that it could wait until after school. Still she went ahead but at least listened when I said to do it in the bathroom instead of the rug in her bedroom. I do as the behaviorist has told me to tell her I can't reward her lack of cooperation with points but she seems unimpressed. It is boring all this prompting all day long from task to task. It helps! Thanks for sharing your experiences too.Pam >> Now that my daughter's anxiety and obsessions are better under control what I see is that she is still very slow and self absorbed in> meaningless tasks, especailly when she is more tired. > > When I send her in to take her shower she often now sits> on the floor and plays with something she has brought in until> I come in and direct her to get into the shower. I will > have to stay in the bathroom and tell her to hurry up > and wash up otherwise she may stand in the shower and > sing for 30 minutes or more.> > I still find that I have to be like an aide and direct > each moves or else she just gets interested in something> and doesn't move. If she goes upstairs to fix her hair > and I don't go up after her she may get

distracted and> instead of something taking 5 minutes she can be up there> for 30 minutes if I didn't follow-up. > > She is 12 years old does have attentional issues and slow> processing speed. She is very smart in reasoning skills> and has lots of ideas. From little she was very slow> but also anxious. I always thought anxiety alone was> the problem with her not staying on tasks. > > Have many of you also seen this type of behavior? > > Pam>

[Guest guest]

Prompts should be faded, or a plan put in place to provide prompts more

independently (lists, alarms, schedule posted, etc. Maybe you can talk

to the people who help you about ways to fade prompts in each

situation. She could get so dependent on the prompts. It can be

really hard to stop prompting, too. It just becomes so automatic

sometimes.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) Re: self absorbed behaviors replace anxiety

Thank you all for your responses. I too as others have said find

that a structured environment helps alot but as others

have said my daughter is very dependent on my prompts and more

prompts. Our behavoritst and counselor suggested I get militant

about her sticking to a time schedule, last night

at bed time she insisted that she wanted to paint her nails. All I

could do was nag that it could wait until after school. Still she went

ahead but at least listened when I said to do it in the bathroom

instead of the rug in her bedroom. I do as the behaviorist has told me

to tell her I can't reward her lack of cooperation with points but she

seems unimpressed. It is boring all this prompting all day

long from task to task. It helps! Thanks for sharing your experiences

too.

Pam

>

> Now that my daughter's anxiety and obsessions are better under

control what I see is that she is still very slow and self absorbed in

> meaningless tasks, especailly when she is more tired.

>

> When I send her in to take her shower she often now sits

> on the floor and plays with something she has brought in until

> I come in and direct her to get into the shower. I will

> have to stay in the bathroom and tell her to hurry up

> and wash up otherwise she may stand in the shower and

> sing for 30 minutes or more.

>

> I still find that I have to be like an aide and direct

> each moves or else she just gets interested in something

> and doesn't move. If she goes upstairs to fix her hair

> and I don't go up after her she may get distracted and

> instead of something taking 5 minutes she can be up there

> for 30 minutes if I didn't follow-up.

>

> She is 12 years old does have attentional issues and slow

> processing speed. She is very smart in reasoning skills

> and has lots of ideas. From little she was very slow

> but also anxious. I always thought anxiety alone was

> the problem with her not staying on tasks.

>

> Have many of you also seen this type of behavior?

>

> Pam

>