Re: New member needing support

[Guest guest]

I wonder if they haven't said anything because they have been told not to encourage parents to request evaluations. Having said that, you have the right to request an eval by your school district. Especially if her grades are starting to suffer. In my case, with our older daughter- whom we think may have ADHD I am going to go talk with her teacher and see what she thinks next week....CarolynSent from my iPadOn Mar 26, 2011, at 5:28 PM, fitgrl222@... wrote:

Hello everyone!

I joined this list in hopes to find out more about aspergers. I have an 8 year old daughter (soon to be 9 next month). She hasn't been diagnosed with anything, but the last time we took her to the pediatrician we talked to him about our concerns and he said she had a lot of the signs of aspergers. Here's her story.

My sister gave birth to her and died when she () was just 3 years old. My sister did a lot of drugs while pregnant and when was born she at first wouldn't cry and then after 2 days in the hospital she wouldn't stop crying. My sister took her home, but couldn't handle her so we took her. She was back and forth from my sister to myself and my husband. My sister died of a drug overdose when turned 3 and we legally adopted her a couple months later.

When we brought her home to live with us for good, she could only say 1 word at a time. She didn't know anything. We immediately got her speech therapy and that helped her a lot.

She was scared to death of anything loud (sweeper, lawn mower, even me taking foil off the roll) She would cry and cry. When my sister had her she spent most of her time in her baby bed without being socialized so we think that really hindered her success of being about to communicate well. She always took a long time to answer and when she did she would just repeat the question you asked her. She also had sensory issues. She gagged on most food and took a long time to swallow it. One day without us realizing it, she had the same food from dinner in her mouth hours later.

Today, at the age of 8 she has came a long way. She's in regular school and has made A's and B's up until this year. We can see her grades starting to slip, but she seems so smart when it comes to school stuff.

She still holds food in her mouth at times and gags at times. She also seems to take a long time to eat her food. If its something she likes then she can eat it normally (donuts, ice cream, cookies) She doesn't repeat what we say anymore, but she takes a long time to answer and sometimes she answers with something you didn't even ask her. She colors us pictures all the time and puts them in envelopes. Her coloring isn't good. I would compare it to a 4 year old. She seems to only enjoy art stuff (drawing, coloring, cutting out paper and making things) she doesn't like dolls or anything else.

She likes all baby TV shows. she doesn't like any of the stuff the girls her age like.

The thing I question is why doesn't the school, the teachers, the kids notice that she's different? My husband feels like since her grades are OK they don't care about the other stuff. Also, she's just in 2nd grade and maybe it's not as noticeable?

I feel so alone at times because I feel like I'm on this emotional roller coaster. It's like I try to make her be normal by telling her "you need to do big girl things" or that's "babyish". I'm one of those "fix it" people and I struggle with myself all the time thinking how I can fix her and make her be a normal 8 year old. I try to talk to her like I would anyone else and it just doesn't happen.

I feel lost and I wanted to join a group where someone can relate to me and possibly help me to help myself and her with dealing with this.

Also, from what I've told you all, does all this sound familiar to autism or asbergers? Or am I just way off base?

Thanks so much if you read all of this.

~

[Guest guest]

I would recommend writing up your request for evaluations and an IEP for her. Then send it to your principal and to the superintendent of your school district. I would put the request in writing for sure and mail it, making them sign for it. That will start a process that the school has only so many days to respond to you. Id also find a local autism support group near you and find a mom who has walked through the process.

My son is also adopted, also has many issues and we got a year of run around at the school level. They kept saying I couldn't have an IEP. I would look at s Law and learn your rights as soon as possible, school districts often are only looking at the $$ issues not at helping kids. After a fight I removed my son, they were killing his desire to learn and I couldn't allow that. Anyhow you are your childs best and sometimes only advocate so learn all you can.

and btw welcome to a very good support group

Sandy in VA

In a message dated 3/26/2011 6:41:46 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, fitgrl222@... writes:

Hello everyone!

I joined this list in hopes to find out more about aspergers. I have an 8 year old daughter (soon to be 9 next month). She hasn't been diagnosed with anything, but the last time we took her to the pediatrician we talked to him about our concerns and he said she had a lot of the signs of aspergers. Here's her story.

My sister gave birth to her and died when she () was just 3 years old. My sister did a lot of drugs while pregnant and when was born she at first wouldn't cry and then after 2 days in the hospital she wouldn't stop crying. My sister took her home, but couldn't handle her so we took her. She was back and forth from my sister to myself and my husband. My sister died of a drug overdose when turned 3 and we legally adopted her a couple months later.

When we brought her home to live with us for good, she could only say 1 word at a time. She didn't know anything. We immediately got her speech therapy and that helped her a lot.

She was scared to death of anything loud (sweeper, lawn mower, even me taking foil off the roll) She would cry and cry. When my sister had her she spent most of her time in her baby bed without being socialized so we think that really hindered her success of being about to communicate well. She always took a long time to answer and when she did she would just repeat the question you asked her. She also had sensory issues. She gagged on most food and took a long time to swallow it. One day without us realizing it, she had the same food from dinner in her mouth hours later.

Today, at the age of 8 she has came a long way. She's in regular school and has made A's and B's up until this year. We can see her grades starting to slip, but she seems so smart when it comes to school stuff.

She still holds food in her mouth at times and gags at times. She also seems to take a long time to eat her food. If its something she likes then she can eat it normally (donuts, ice cream, cookies) She doesn't repeat what we say anymore, but she takes a long time to answer and sometimes she answers with something you didn't even ask her. She colors us pictures all the time and puts them in envelopes. Her coloring isn't good. I would compare it to a 4 year old. She seems to only enjoy art stuff (drawing, coloring, cutting out paper and making things) she doesn't like dolls or anything else.

She likes all baby TV shows. she doesn't like any of the stuff the girls her age like.

The thing I question is why doesn't the school, the teachers, the kids notice that she's different? My husband feels like since her grades are OK they don't care about the other stuff. Also, she's just in 2nd grade and maybe it's not as noticeable?

I feel so alone at times because I feel like I'm on this emotional roller coaster. It's like I try to make her be normal by telling her "you need to do big girl things" or that's "babyish". I'm one of those "fix it" people and I struggle with myself all the time thinking how I can fix her and make her be a normal 8 year old. I try to talk to her like I would anyone else and it just doesn't happen.

I feel lost and I wanted to join a group where someone can relate to me and possibly help me to help myself and her with dealing with this.

Also, from what I've told you all, does all this sound familiar to autism or asbergers? Or am I just way off base?

Thanks so much if you read all of this.

~

[Guest guest]

Thank you Sandy! isn't having any issues at school so I'd hate to start anything there. We are starting to see her grades drop, but the teacher said the work is getting harder for all the kids. This something we're keeping a close eye on. I've asked her multiple times about how does socially and she said she does great. So, so far the school end is good right now. I'm still baffled about that too because her behavior is so odd at times at home.

~

In a message dated 3/27/2011 7:39:06 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, boogermeanie@... writes:

I would recommend writing up your request for evaluations and an IEP for her. Then send it to your principal and to the superintendent of your school district. I would put the request in writing for sure and mail it, making them sign for it. That will start a process that the school has only so many days to respond to you. Id also find a local autism support group near you and find a mom who has walked through the process.

My son is also adopted, also has many issues and we got a year of run around at the school level. They kept saying I couldn't have an IEP. I would look at s Law and learn your rights as soon as possible, school districts often are only looking at the $$ issues not at helping kids. After a fight I removed my son, they were killing his desire to learn and I couldn't allow that. Anyhow you are your childs best and sometimes only advocate so learn all you can.

and btw welcome to a very good support group

Sandy in VA

In a message dated 3/26/2011 6:41:46 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, fitgrl222@... writes:

Hello everyone!

I joined this list in hopes to find out more about aspergers. I have an 8 year old daughter (soon to be 9 next month). She hasn't been diagnosed with anything, but the last time we took her to the pediatrician we talked to him about our concerns and he said she had a lot of the signs of aspergers. Here's her story.

My sister gave birth to her and died when she () was just 3 years old. My sister did a lot of drugs while pregnant and when was born she at first wouldn't cry and then after 2 days in the hospital she wouldn't stop crying. My sister took her home, but couldn't handle her so we took her. She was back and forth from my sister to myself and my husband. My sister died of a drug overdose when turned 3 and we legally adopted her a couple months later.

When we brought her home to live with us for good, she could only say 1 word at a time. She didn't know anything. We immediately got her speech therapy and that helped her a lot.

She was scared to death of anything loud (sweeper, lawn mower, even me taking foil off the roll) She would cry and cry. When my sister had her she spent most of her time in her baby bed without being socialized so we think that really hindered her success of being about to communicate well. She always took a long time to answer and when she did she would just repeat the question you asked her. She also had sensory issues. She gagged on most food and took a long time to swallow it. One day without us realizing it, she had the same food from dinner in her mouth hours later.

Today, at the age of 8 she has came a long way. She's in regular school and has made A's and B's up until this year. We can see her grades starting to slip, but she seems so smart when it comes to school stuff.

She still holds food in her mouth at times and gags at times. She also seems to take a long time to eat her food. If its something she likes then she can eat it normally (donuts, ice cream, cookies) She doesn't repeat what we say anymore, but she takes a long time to answer and sometimes she answers with something you didn't even ask her. She colors us pictures all the time and puts them in envelopes. Her coloring isn't good. I would compare it to a 4 year old. She seems to only enjoy art stuff (drawing, coloring, cutting out paper and making things) she doesn't like dolls or anything else.

She likes all baby TV shows. she doesn't like any of the stuff the girls her age like.

The thing I question is why doesn't the school, the teachers, the kids notice that she's different? My husband feels like since her grades are OK they don't care about the other stuff. Also, she's just in 2nd grade and maybe it's not as noticeable?

I feel so alone at times because I feel like I'm on this emotional roller coaster. It's like I try to make her be normal by telling her "you need to do big girl things" or that's "babyish". I'm one of those "fix it" people and I struggle with myself all the time thinking how I can fix her and make her be a normal 8 year old. I try to talk to her like I would anyone else and it just doesn't happen.

I feel lost and I wanted to join a group where someone can relate to me and possibly help me to help myself and her with dealing with this.

Also, from what I've told you all, does all this sound familiar to autism or asbergers? Or am I just way off base?

Thanks so much if you read all of this.

~

[Guest guest]

,

If there is one piece of advice I could give all parents it would be to trust

your gut instinct. I am regretting all the times I listened to my son's

teachers who said things like, " He's a boy. and they mature slower. " or " He'll

outgrow it, don't worry. " My son had what we came to call a " low frustration

tolerance " only because it sounded better than a meltdown. I even had family

members tell me that I was coddling him too much. But deep inside I knew

better. I knew that he just couldn't handle whatever it was that we or others

were asking him to do.

I finally got on the right track when someone pointed me to Dr. Ross Greene's

book, " The Explosive Child " , where he explained that it doesn't matter what the

alphabet soup diagnosis was (AS, ADHD, OCD, etc). the issue is really that the

children are being asked to do something which they do not yet have the skill to

do. He describes it as the meeting of societal pressures/requests and the

lagging skills. He then teaches you how to figure out what skills are lagging.

For my son, I quickly realized that the lagging skills were " social skills "

which led me to the library to learn how to teach them. It seemed that every

book was about Aspergers or Autism, which I didn't want to buy into, so I

ignored it. When we asked for a CST through the school it was denied because my

son didn't have a diagnosis and his grades were fine.

Since your daughter is also doing well in school and they don't see any social

skill problems, you may run into the same thing. My son's big problems didn't

occur until late in the 5th grade and early 6th grade. At that point we had a

private evaluation done which was enough to get the ball rolling in school when

he was diagnosed with Aspergers.

We're just starting the journey with the CST and IEPs now, so I can't help you

there, but please don't wait until someone from the school believes you. Just

because they don't see what you see doesn't mean your instincts are not correct.

It is much better to know earlier so that the therapies can be started sooner.

Good luck.

mother of 12 year old boy with Aspergers/ADHD

[Guest guest]

She does have language and emotional and social delays and that

is considered autism or they may call it a Pervasive

Developmental Disorder. Some schools will not do anything

until the parents do all the work of evaluations etc.

I would have her have a neuropsychological evaluation,

you will definately find out where her strenghts and weakneses are,

in the early grades kids can do well.

How are her organization skills?

My daughter regresses to baby talk etc with me at home

and she is 13, she wants to be hugged and loved and

told how precious she is, I know she is overwhelmed

socially at school.

You can make home a safe and loving place, you can take an

interest in her interests and not let her withdraw,

you can broaden her interests a little on Saturday,

have her take a dance class at the YMCA (where they

often accomodate kids with any kind of developmental delays)

or have her take a class there with peers, take her to the

libray, bike rides, teach her to roller skate,

go to the mall for lunch ...you are practicing with her

things typical girls do on the weekend, this really

has helped my daughter (although she still regresses

at home, she can with very sensitive kids fit in some).

It is really hard to say what cased the autism or PDD

I think this diagnosis is closest one you will get,

you did not mention any anxiety or outburts (thank goodness)

I would join an Asperger or autism group and you will

find parents with similar issues as yours. Most AS

kids talk too much but there delays are similar in other

areas.

Pam

>

>

>

> Hello everyone!

>

> I joined this list in hopes to find out more about aspergers. I have

> an 8 year old daughter (soon to be 9 next month). She hasn't been

> diagnosed with anything, but the last time we took her to the pediatrician we

> talked to him about our concerns and he said she had a lot of the signs of

> aspergers. Here's her story.

>

> My sister gave birth to her and died when she () was just 3 years

> old. My sister did a lot of drugs while pregnant and when was

> born she at first wouldn't cry and then after 2 days in the hospital she

> wouldn't stop crying. My sister took her home, but couldn't handle her so we

> took her. She was back and forth from my sister to myself and my husband.

> My sister died of a drug overdose when turned 3 and we legally

> adopted her a couple months later.

>

> When we brought her home to live with us for good, she could only say 1

> word at a time. She didn't know anything. We immediately got her speech

> therapy and that helped her a lot.

>

> She was scared to death of anything loud (sweeper, lawn mower, even me

> taking foil off the roll) She would cry and cry. When my sister had her

> she spent most of her time in her baby bed without being socialized so we

> think that really hindered her success of being about to communicate well.

> She always took a long time to answer and when she did she would just

> repeat the question you asked her. She also had sensory issues. She gagged

on

> most food and took a long time to swallow it. One day without us realizing

> it, she had the same food from dinner in her mouth hours later.

>

> Today, at the age of 8 she has came a long way. She's in regular school

> and has made A's and B's up until this year. We can see her grades starting

> to slip, but she seems so smart when it comes to school stuff.

>

> She still holds food in her mouth at times and gags at times. She also

> seems to take a long time to eat her food. If its something she likes then

> she can eat it normally (donuts, ice cream, cookies) She doesn't repeat

> what we say anymore, but she takes a long time to answer and sometimes she

> answers with something you didn't even ask her. She colors us pictures

> all the time and puts them in envelopes. Her coloring isn't good. I would

> compare it to a 4 year old. She seems to only enjoy art stuff (drawing,

> coloring, cutting out paper and making things) she doesn't like dolls or

> anything else.

>

> She likes all baby TV shows. she doesn't like any of the stuff the girls

> her age like.

>

> The thing I question is why doesn't the school, the teachers, the kids

> notice that she's different? My husband feels like since her grades are OK

> they don't care about the other stuff. Also, she's just in 2nd grade and

> maybe it's not as noticeable?

>

> I feel so alone at times because I feel like I'm on this emotional roller

> coaster. It's like I try to make her be normal by telling her " you need to

> do big girl things " or that's " babyish " . I'm one of those " fix it " people

> and I struggle with myself all the time thinking how I can fix her and

> make her be a normal 8 year old. I try to talk to her like I would anyone

> else and it just doesn't happen.

>

> I feel lost and I wanted to join a group where someone can relate to me

> and possibly help me to help myself and her with dealing with this.

>

> Also, from what I've told you all, does all this sound familiar to autism

> or asbergers? Or am I just way off base?

>

> Thanks so much if you read all of this.

>

> ~

>

[Guest guest]

,

I haven't got much time to reply but wanted to pass on a bit of information to

you. We have a 7-year-old son with Asperger's traits and an at least 5.5

year-old adopted daughter. Many of the traits you've described more closely

resemble our daughter and other adopted kids we've known. The food issues are

huge for adopted and, often, traumatized kids. Sensory issues are also quite

common. The trait that really triggered me to respond was the constant coloring

and cutting of paper - our daughter has done that since coming home to us 9

months ago. There's no end to the cutting and gluing, writing and drawing she

does and she much prefers it to playing with toys. She also gets along very well

at school and does well in her school work.

Anyhow, this is just my quick observation and I definitely support pursuing this

further with trained professionals but just wanted to share that perhaps

exploring trauma as part of her diagnosis could be beneficial? Best of luck to

you.

Carolyn in Maine

>

> Thank you Sandy! isn't having any issues at school so I'd hate

> to start anything there. We are starting to see her grades drop, but the

> teacher said the work is getting harder for all the kids. This something

> we're keeping a close eye on. I've asked her multiple times about how

> does socially and she said she does great. So, so far the school

end is

> good right now. I'm still baffled about that too because her behavior is

> so odd at times at home.

>

> ~

>

>

> In a message dated 3/27/2011 7:39:06 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

> boogermeanie@... writes:

>

>

>

>

> I would recommend writing up your request for evaluations and an IEP for

> her. Then send it to your principal and to the superintendent of your

> school district. I would put the request in writing for sure and mail it,

> making them sign for it. That will start a process that the school has only

so

> many days to respond to you. Id also find a local autism support group

> near you and find a mom who has walked through the process.

> My son is also adopted, also has many issues and we got a year of run

> around at the school level. They kept saying I couldn't have an IEP. I

would

> look at s Law and learn your rights as soon as possible, school

> districts often are only looking at the $$ issues not at helping kids. After

a

> fight I removed my son, they were killing his desire to learn and I

> couldn't allow that. Anyhow you are your childs best and sometimes only

advocate

> so learn all you can.

>

> and btw welcome to a very good support group

> Sandy in VA

>

>

> In a message dated 3/26/2011 6:41:46 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

> fitgrl222@... writes:

>

>

>

>

> Hello everyone!

>

> I joined this list in hopes to find out more about aspergers. I have

> an 8 year old daughter (soon to be 9 next month). She hasn't been

> diagnosed with anything, but the last time we took her to the pediatrician we

> talked to him about our concerns and he said she had a lot of the signs of

> aspergers. Here's her story.

>

> My sister gave birth to her and died when she () was just 3 years

> old. My sister did a lot of drugs while pregnant and when was

> born she at first wouldn't cry and then after 2 days in the hospital she

> wouldn't stop crying. My sister took her home, but couldn't handle her so we

> took her. She was back and forth from my sister to myself and my husband.

> My sister died of a drug overdose when turned 3 and we legally

> adopted her a couple months later.

>

> When we brought her home to live with us for good, she could only say 1

> word at a time. She didn't know anything. We immediately got her speech

> therapy and that helped her a lot.

>

> She was scared to death of anything loud (sweeper, lawn mower, even me

> taking foil off the roll) She would cry and cry. When my sister had her

> she spent most of her time in her baby bed without being socialized so we

> think that really hindered her success of being about to communicate well.

> She always took a long time to answer and when she did she would just

> repeat the question you asked her. She also had sensory issues. She gagged

on

> most food and took a long time to swallow it. One day without us realizing

> it, she had the same food from dinner in her mouth hours later.

>

> Today, at the age of 8 she has came a long way. She's in regular school

> and has made A's and B's up until this year. We can see her grades starting

> to slip, but she seems so smart when it comes to school stuff.

>

> She still holds food in her mouth at times and gags at times. She also

> seems to take a long time to eat her food. If its something she likes then

> she can eat it normally (donuts, ice cream, cookies) She doesn't repeat

> what we say anymore, but she takes a long time to answer and sometimes she

> answers with something you didn't even ask her. She colors us pictures

> all the time and puts them in envelopes. Her coloring isn't good. I would

> compare it to a 4 year old. She seems to only enjoy art stuff (drawing,

> coloring, cutting out paper and making things) she doesn't like dolls or

> anything else.

>

> She likes all baby TV shows. she doesn't like any of the stuff the girls

> her age like.

>

> The thing I question is why doesn't the school, the teachers, the kids

> notice that she's different? My husband feels like since her grades are OK

> they don't care about the other stuff. Also, she's just in 2nd grade and

> maybe it's not as noticeable?

>

> I feel so alone at times because I feel like I'm on this emotional roller

> coaster. It's like I try to make her be normal by telling her " you need to

> do big girl things " or that's " babyish " . I'm one of those " fix it " people

> and I struggle with myself all the time thinking how I can fix her and

> make her be a normal 8 year old. I try to talk to her like I would anyone

> else and it just doesn't happen.

>

> I feel lost and I wanted to join a group where someone can relate to me

> and possibly help me to help myself and her with dealing with this.

>

> Also, from what I've told you all, does all this sound familiar to autism

> or asbergers? Or am I just way off base?

>

> Thanks so much if you read all of this.

>

> ~

>

[Guest guest]

She does great at school according to her teacher. We've asked her time and time again how things are going and she always tells us is doing great. Her grades have been all A's and B's up until this year and she did get a couple c's, but still very good.

As far as getting her out on the weekends. We've let her do arts and crafts and she loves that. She doesn't like going outside much and most every summer I fight and fight to get her to.

We bought her a bike a couple years ago and I had her out on the driveway for over a month trying to learn and she just couldn't do it. She would sit out there and cry. I kept thinking she just wasn't trying hard enough, but I came inside one day and watched her out the window while I told her to keep practicing and I'd be right back. She was really trying and I felt so bad for her. She told me that she really didn't like riding a bike and that she didn't want to learn.

The family (my dad and oldest daughter) told us that we should make her learn. That every kid should know how to ride a bike. I just couldn't keep making her go out there because she just wasn't getting it at all. Her balance was so bad that the second she tried to put the other foot up on the pedal she would fall right over each and every time. I didn't know what else to do so I told her we didn't have to do it anymore and that maybe next year she could try again. She see's all the other kids out riding their bikes and she acts like she doesn't care at all.

She doesn't seem to have any anxiety issues and no outburst, ever. She does bite her fingernails all the time. In fact, I think I've only had to cut them a couple times in her whole life. She's a very calm quiet child with little to say.

Thank you for all your feedback. It is so appreciated.

~*

In a message dated 3/28/2011 11:05:38 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, susanonderko@... writes:

She does have language and emotional and social delays and thatis considered autism or they may call it a PervasiveDevelopmental Disorder. Some schools will not do anythinguntil the parents do all the work of evaluations etc. I would have her have a neuropsychological evaluation,you will definately find out where her strenghts and weakneses are,in the early grades kids can do well. How are her organization skills? My daughter regresses to baby talk etc with me at homeand she is 13, she wants to be hugged and loved and told how precious she is, I know she is overwhelmedsocially at school.You can make home a safe and loving place, you can take aninterest in her interests and not let her withdraw, you can broaden her interests a little on Saturday,have her take a dance class at the YMCA (where theyoften accomodate kids with any kind of developmental delays)or have her take a class there with peers, take her to the libray, bike rides, teach her to roller skate, go to the mall for lunch ...you are practicing with herthings typical girls do on the weekend, this reallyhas helped my daughter (although she still regressesat home, she can with very sensitive kids fit in some).It is really hard to say what cased the autism or PDDI think this diagnosis is closest one you will get,you did not mention any anxiety or outburts (thank goodness)I would join an Asperger or autism group and you willfind parents with similar issues as yours. Most ASkids talk too much but there delays are similar in otherareas. Pam >> > > Hello everyone!> > I joined this list in hopes to find out more about aspergers. I have > an 8 year old daughter (soon to be 9 next month). She hasn't been > diagnosed with anything, but the last time we took her to the pediatrician we > talked to him about our concerns and he said she had a lot of the signs of > aspergers. Here's her story.> > My sister gave birth to her and died when she () was just 3 years > old. My sister did a lot of drugs while pregnant and when was > born she at first wouldn't cry and then after 2 days in the hospital she > wouldn't stop crying. My sister took her home, but couldn't handle her so we > took her. She was back and forth from my sister to myself and my husband. > My sister died of a drug overdose when turned 3 and we legally > adopted her a couple months later.> > When we brought her home to live with us for good, she could only say 1 > word at a time. She didn't know anything. We immediately got her speech > therapy and that helped her a lot.> > She was scared to death of anything loud (sweeper, lawn mower, even me > taking foil off the roll) She would cry and cry. When my sister had her > she spent most of her time in her baby bed without being socialized so we > think that really hindered her success of being about to communicate well. > She always took a long time to answer and when she did she would just > repeat the question you asked her. She also had sensory issues. She gagged on > most food and took a long time to swallow it. One day without us realizing > it, she had the same food from dinner in her mouth hours later. > > Today, at the age of 8 she has came a long way. She's in regular school > and has made A's and B's up until this year. We can see her grades starting > to slip, but she seems so smart when it comes to school stuff.> > She still holds food in her mouth at times and gags at times. She also > seems to take a long time to eat her food. If its something she likes then > she can eat it normally (donuts, ice cream, cookies) She doesn't repeat > what we say anymore, but she takes a long time to answer and sometimes she > answers with something you didn't even ask her. She colors us pictures > all the time and puts them in envelopes. Her coloring isn't good. I would > compare it to a 4 year old. She seems to only enjoy art stuff (drawing, > coloring, cutting out paper and making things) she doesn't like dolls or > anything else.> > She likes all baby TV shows. she doesn't like any of the stuff the girls > her age like. > > The thing I question is why doesn't the school, the teachers, the kids > notice that she's different? My husband feels like since her grades are OK > they don't care about the other stuff. Also, she's just in 2nd grade and > maybe it's not as noticeable? > > I feel so alone at times because I feel like I'm on this emotional roller > coaster. It's like I try to make her be normal by telling her "you need to > do big girl things" or that's "babyish". I'm one of those "fix it" people > and I struggle with myself all the time thinking how I can fix her and > make her be a normal 8 year old. I try to talk to her like I would anyone > else and it just doesn't happen.> > I feel lost and I wanted to join a group where someone can relate to me > and possibly help me to help myself and her with dealing with this. > > Also, from what I've told you all, does all this sound familiar to autism > or asbergers? Or am I just way off base?> > Thanks so much if you read all of this.> > ~>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

In reading what you have said about your daughter's start to life, and the

substance issues during pregnancy, it might be worth looking into the connection

between fetal alcohol syndrome and autism symptoms. On another group to which I

subscribe, there has been some talk among the adoptive moms about a connection.

I don't know too much about it, but if you google it, a lot of articles pop up.

About the bike riding - you mentioned that your daughter has sensory issues, and

that can play a role into struggling to learn to ride a bike. My son is 3.5 and

still has trouble riding a trike at this point. In talking with his OT, motor

planning can be a challenge for kids with sensory issues, and they may also have

postural insecurity, which makes them feel like they are going to fall over when

their feet leave the ground. An OT might be able to help with those things to

make bike riding (and other activities) less challenging for your daughter.

Good luck

Bridget

> >

> >

> >

> > Hello everyone!

> >

> > I joined this list in hopes to find out more about aspergers. I have

> > an 8 year old daughter (soon to be 9 next month). She hasn't been

> > diagnosed with anything, but the last time we took her to the

> pediatrician we

> > talked to him about our concerns and he said she had a lot of the signs

> of

> > aspergers. Here's her story.

> >

> > My sister gave birth to her and died when she () was just 3

> years

> > old. My sister did a lot of drugs while pregnant and when was

> > born she at first wouldn't cry and then after 2 days in the hospital she

> > wouldn't stop crying. My sister took her home, but couldn't handle her

> so we

> > took her. She was back and forth from my sister to myself and my

> husband.

> > My sister died of a drug overdose when turned 3 and we legally

> > adopted her a couple months later.

> >

> > When we brought her home to live with us for good, she could only say 1

> > word at a time. She didn't know anything. We immediately got her speech

> > therapy and that helped her a lot.

> >

> > She was scared to death of anything loud (sweeper, lawn mower, even me

> > taking foil off the roll) She would cry and cry. When my sister had her

> > she spent most of her time in her baby bed without being socialized so

> we

> > think that really hindered her success of being about to communicate

> well.

> > She always took a long time to answer and when she did she would just

> > repeat the question you asked her. She also had sensory issues. She

> gagged on

> > most food and took a long time to swallow it. One day without us

> realizing

> > it, she had the same food from dinner in her mouth hours later.

> >

> > Today, at the age of 8 she has came a long way. She's in regular school

> > and has made A's and B's up until this year. We can see her grades

> starting

> > to slip, but she seems so smart when it comes to school stuff.

> >

> > She still holds food in her mouth at times and gags at times. She also

> > seems to take a long time to eat her food. If its something she likes

> then

> > she can eat it normally (donuts, ice cream, cookies) She doesn't repeat

> > what we say anymore, but she takes a long time to answer and sometimes

> she

> > answers with something you didn't even ask her. She colors us pictures

> > all the time and puts them in envelopes. Her coloring isn't good. I

> would

> > compare it to a 4 year old. She seems to only enjoy art stuff (drawing,

> > coloring, cutting out paper and making things) she doesn't like dolls or

> > anything else.

> >

> > She likes all baby TV shows. she doesn't like any of the stuff the girls

> > her age like.

> >

> > The thing I question is why doesn't the school, the teachers, the kids

> > notice that she's different? My husband feels like since her grades are

> OK

> > they don't care about the other stuff. Also, she's just in 2nd grade and

> > maybe it's not as noticeable?

> >

> > I feel so alone at times because I feel like I'm on this emotional

> roller

> > coaster. It's like I try to make her be normal by telling her " you need

> to

> > do big girl things " or that's " babyish " . I'm one of those " fix it "

> people

> > and I struggle with myself all the time thinking how I can fix her and

> > make her be a normal 8 year old. I try to talk to her like I would

> anyone

> > else and it just doesn't happen.

> >

> > I feel lost and I wanted to join a group where someone can relate to me

> > and possibly help me to help myself and her with dealing with this.

> >

> > Also, from what I've told you all, does all this sound familiar to

> autism

> > or asbergers? Or am I just way off base?

> >

> > Thanks so much if you read all of this.

> >

> > ~

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Last year was a bad year for her. She had kids picking on her and at one point we went in and talked to the teacher. She insured us that wasn't going on. We still don't know to this day, but I believe my daughter.

This year is much MUCH better. She has friends and hasn't said one thing about the kids being mean to her.

When the teacher has told us that she is doing well, I'm glad to hear it, but we know how she is at home so I know it's a matter of time that things will change at school. I also believe that as long as she's doing the work they aren't going to say anything. Also, at this age I don't think they notice a lot about the kids. We've done decided that if that time does come and she can't handle it we will do something else. I won't have her stay everyday all day and go through that.

Thanks for your feedback. I do need all the support I can get.

~

In a message dated 3/28/2011 7:25:56 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, sueseam@... writes:

,If there is one piece of advice I could give all parents it would be to trust your gut instinct. I am regretting all the times I listened to my son's teachers who said things like, "He's a boy. and they mature slower." or "He'll outgrow it, don't worry." My son had what we came to call a "low frustration tolerance" only because it sounded better than a meltdown. I even had family members tell me that I was coddling him too much. But deep inside I knew better. I knew that he just couldn't handle whatever it was that we or others were asking him to do. I finally got on the right track when someone pointed me to Dr. Ross Greene's book, "The Explosive Child", where he explained that it doesn't matter what the alphabet soup diagnosis was (AS, ADHD, OCD, etc). the issue is really that the children are being asked to do something which they do not yet have the skill to do. He describes it as the meeting of societal pressures/requests and the lagging skills. He then teaches you how to figure out what skills are lagging.For my son, I quickly realized that the lagging skills were "social skills" which led me to the library to learn how to teach them. It seemed that every book was about Aspergers or Autism, which I didn't want to buy into, so I ignored it. When we asked for a CST through the school it was denied because my son didn't have a diagnosis and his grades were fine.Since your daughter is also doing well in school and they don't see any social skill problems, you may run into the same thing. My son's big problems didn't occur until late in the 5th grade and early 6th grade. At that point we had a private evaluation done which was enough to get the ball rolling in school when he was diagnosed with Aspergers. We're just starting the journey with the CST and IEPs now, so I can't help you there, but please don't wait until someone from the school believes you. Just because they don't see what you see doesn't mean your instincts are not correct. It is much better to know earlier so that the therapies can be started sooner. Good luck. mother of 12 year old boy with Aspergers/ADHD

[Guest guest]

I TOTALLY agree with ! Trust your own gut instinct first. Her story is

exactly like mine. Now my son is 14 and we still have many problems that if they

had been addressed earlier wouldn't be as bad now or problems at all maybe. We

didn't get a proper diagnosis until he was in 5th grade, before that we were

told he had ADHD and was " just a being a boy " .

ne

> From: <sueseam@...>

> Subject: Re: ( ) New member needing support

>

> Date: Monday, March 28, 2011, 9:59 AM

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>  

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ,

>

> If there is one piece of advice I could give all parents it

> would be to trust your gut instinct. I am regretting all

> the times I listened to my son's teachers who said

> things like, " He's a boy. and they mature

> slower. " or " He'll outgrow it, don't

> worry. " My son had what we came to call a " low

> frustration tolerance " only because it sounded better

> than a meltdown. I even had family members tell me that I

> was coddling him too much. But deep inside I knew better.

> I knew that he just couldn't handle whatever it was that

> we or others were asking him to do.

>

>

>

> I finally got on the right track when someone pointed me to

> Dr. Ross Greene's book, " The Explosive Child " ,

> where he explained that it doesn't matter what the

> alphabet soup diagnosis was (AS, ADHD, OCD, etc). the issue

> is really that the children are being asked to do something

> which they do not yet have the skill to do. He describes it

> as the meeting of societal pressures/requests and the

> lagging skills. He then teaches you how to figure out what

> skills are lagging.

>

>

>

> For my son, I quickly realized that the lagging skills were

> " social skills " which led me to the library to

> learn how to teach them. It seemed that every book was

> about Aspergers or Autism, which I didn't want to buy

> into, so I ignored it. When we asked for a CST through the

> school it was denied because my son didn't have a

> diagnosis and his grades were fine.

>

>

>

> Since your daughter is also doing well in school and they

> don't see any social skill problems, you may run into

> the same thing. My son's big problems didn't occur

> until late in the 5th grade and early 6th grade. At that

> point we had a private evaluation done which was enough to

> get the ball rolling in school when he was diagnosed with

> Aspergers.

>

>

>

> We're just starting the journey with the CST and IEPs

> now, so I can't help you there, but please don't

> wait until someone from the school believes you. Just

> because they don't see what you see doesn't mean

> your instincts are not correct. It is much better to know

> earlier so that the therapies can be started sooner.

>

>

>

> Good luck.

>

>

>

>

>

> mother of 12 year old boy with Aspergers/ADHD

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I think riding a bike is a big example of the coordination, balance and motor planning deficits that many kids with HFA/AS have. I've also seen with one little guy I worked with that he just lacked any strength with which to keep pushing the peddles. It could be one or any number of these kinds of problems and I doubt "making her do it" would magically make them go away. Don't you love it when professional parents (all sizes and ages, with and without kids) can solve this with just telling you to "make" her do it? lol. It is second only to, "She would if you didn't help her" and "Sign him up for soccer and he'll magically have social skills." lol.

You might consider getting an OT and PT eval next time she has a eval due at the school and have them test these kinds of areas to see what is going on.

Roxanna

May those who love us, love us

And those who don't love us,

May God turn their hearts

And if he can't turn their hearts,

May he turn their ankles

So we will know them by their limping!

Re: ( ) Re: New member needing support

She does great at school according to her teacher. We've asked her time and time again how things are going and she always tells us is doing great. Her grades have been all A's and B's up until this year and she did get a couple c's, but still very good.

As far as getting her out on the weekends. We've let her do arts and crafts and she loves that. She doesn't like going outside much and most every summer I fight and fight to get her to.

We bought her a bike a couple years ago and I had her out on the driveway for over a month trying to learn and she just couldn't do it. She would sit out there and cry. I kept thinking she just wasn't trying hard enough, but I came inside one day and watched her out the window while I told her to keep practicing and I'd be right back. She was really trying and I felt so bad for her. She told me that she really didn't like riding a bike and that she didn't want to learn.

The family (my dad and oldest daughter) told us that we should make her learn. That every kid should know how to ride a bike. I just couldn't keep making her go out there because she just wasn't getting it at all. Her balance was so bad that the second she tried to put the other foot up on the pedal she would fall right over each and every time. I didn't know what else to do so I told her we didn't have to do it anymore and that maybe next year she could try again. She see's all the other kids out riding their bikes and she acts like she doesn't care at all.

She doesn't seem to have any anxiety issues and no outburst, ever. She does bite her fingernails all the time. In fact, I think I've only had to cut them a couple times in her whole life. She's a very calm quiet child with little to say.

Thank you for all your feedback. It is so appreciated.

~*

In a message dated 3/28/2011 11:05:38 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, susanonderko@... writes:

She does have language and emotional and social delays and that

is considered autism or they may call it a Pervasive

Developmental Disorder. Some schools will not do anything

until the parents do all the work of evaluations etc.

I would have her have a neuropsychological evaluation,

you will definately find out where her strenghts and weakneses are,

in the early grades kids can do well.

How are her organization skills?

My daughter regresses to baby talk etc with me at home

and she is 13, she wants to be hugged and loved and

told how precious she is, I know she is overwhelmed

socially at school.

You can make home a safe and loving place, you can take an

interest in her interests and not let her withdraw,

you can broaden her interests a little on Saturday,

have her take a dance class at the YMCA (where they

often accomodate kids with any kind of developmental delays)

or have her take a class there with peers, take her to the

libray, bike rides, teach her to roller skate,

go to the mall for lunch ...you are practicing with her

things typical girls do on the weekend, this really

has helped my daughter (although she still regresses

at home, she can with very sensitive kids fit in some).

It is really hard to say what cased the autism or PDD

I think this diagnosis is closest one you will get,

you did not mention any anxiety or outburts (thank goodness)

I would join an Asperger or autism group and you will

find parents with similar issues as yours. Most AS

kids talk too much but there delays are similar in other

areas.

Pam

>

>

>

> Hello everyone!

>

> I joined this list in hopes to find out more about aspergers. I have

> an 8 year old daughter (soon to be 9 next month). She hasn't been

> diagnosed with anything, but the last time we took her to the pediatrician we

> talked to him about our concerns and he said she had a lot of the signs of

> aspergers. Here's her story.

>

> My sister gave birth to her and died when she () was just 3 years

> old. My sister did a lot of drugs while pregnant and when was

> born she at first wouldn't cry and then after 2 days in the hospital she

> wouldn't stop crying. My sister took her home, but couldn't handle her so we

> took her. She was back and forth from my sister to myself and my husband.

> My sister died of a drug overdose when turned 3 and we legally

> adopted her a couple months later.

>

> When we brought her home to live with us for good, she could only say 1

> word at a time. She didn't know anything. We immediately got her speech

> therapy and that helped her a lot.

>

> She was scared to death of anything loud (sweeper, lawn mower, even me

> taking foil off the roll) She would cry and cry. When my sister had her

> she spent most of her time in her baby bed without being socialized so we

> think that really hindered her success of being about to communicate well.

> She always took a long time to answer and when she did she would just

> repeat the question you asked her. She also had sensory issues. She gagged on

> most food and took a long time to swallow it. One day without us realizing

> it, she had the same food from dinner in her mouth hours later.

>

> Today, at the age of 8 she has came a long way. She's in regular school

> and has made A's and B's up until this year. We can see her grades starting

> to slip, but she seems so smart when it comes to school stuff.

>

> She still holds food in her mouth at times and gags at times. She also

> seems to take a long time to eat her food. If its something she likes then

> she can eat it normally (donuts, ice cream, cookies) She doesn't repeat

> what we say anymore, but she takes a long time to answer and sometimes she

> answers with something you didn't even ask her. She colors us pictures

> all the time and puts them in envelopes. Her coloring isn't good. I would

> compare it to a 4 year old. She seems to only enjoy art stuff (drawing,

> coloring, cutting out paper and making things) she doesn't like dolls or

> anything else.

>

> She likes all baby TV shows. she doesn't like any of the stuff the girls

> her age like.

>

> The thing I question is why doesn't the school, the teachers, the kids

> notice that she's different? My husband feels like since her grades are OK

> they don't care about the other stuff. Also, she's just in 2nd grade and

> maybe it's not as noticeable?

>

> I feel so alone at times because I feel like I'm on this emotional roller

> coaster. It's like I try to make her be normal by telling her "you need to

> do big girl things" or that's "babyish". I'm one of those "fix it" people

> and I struggle with myself all the time thinking how I can fix her and

> make her be a normal 8 year old. I try to talk to her like I would anyone

> else and it just doesn't happen.

>

> I feel lost and I wanted to join a group where someone can relate to me

> and possibly help me to help myself and her with dealing with this.

>

> Also, from what I've told you all, does all this sound familiar to autism

> or asbergers? Or am I just way off base?

>

> Thanks so much if you read all of this.

>

> ~

>

[Guest guest]

She had a lot of problems with her balance when she was younger. She seems to have come out of it, except for the bike thing. My MIL gave her a scooter and that seems to be better for her.

It's so easy for someone who's not in your shoes to give advice. My daughter, who at the time didn't have any kids told me that she'd be out there making her do it until she got it. If she could've only seen how hard it was for . I couldn't understand it myself, but it reached a point where it was clear she couldn't do it.

~*

In a message dated 3/29/2011 12:06:11 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, MadIdeas@... writes:

I think riding a bike is a big example of the coordination, balance and motor planning deficits that many kids with HFA/AS have. I've also seen with one little guy I worked with that he just lacked any strength with which to keep pushing the peddles. It could be one or any number of these kinds of problems and I doubt "making her do it" would magically make them go away. Don't you love it when professional parents (all sizes and ages, with and without kids) can solve this with just telling you to "make" her do it? lol. It is second only to, "She would if you didn't help her" and "Sign him up for soccer and he'll magically have social skills." lol. You might consider getting an OT and PT eval next time she has a eval due at the school and have them test these kinds of areas to see what is going on.

RoxannaMay those who love us, love usAnd those who don't love us,May God turn their heartsAnd if he can't turn their hearts,May he turn their anklesSo we will know them by their limping!

Re: ( ) Re: New member needing support

She does great at school according to her teacher. We've asked her time and time again how things are going and she always tells us is doing great. Her grades have been all A's and B's up until this year and she did get a couple c's, but still very good.

As far as getting her out on the weekends. We've let her do arts and crafts and she loves that. She doesn't like going outside much and most every summer I fight and fight to get her to.

We bought her a bike a couple years ago and I had her out on the driveway for over a month trying to learn and she just couldn't do it. She would sit out there and cry. I kept thinking she just wasn't trying hard enough, but I came inside one day and watched her out the window while I told her to keep practicing and I'd be right back. She was really trying and I felt so bad for her. She told me that she really didn't like riding a bike and that she didn't want to learn.

The family (my dad and oldest daughter) told us that we should make her learn. That every kid should know how to ride a bike. I just couldn't keep making her go out there because she just wasn't getting it at all. Her balance was so bad that the second she tried to put the other foot up on the pedal she would fall right over each and every time. I didn't know what else to do so I told her we didn't have to do it anymore and that maybe next year she could try again. She see's all the other kids out riding their bikes and she acts like she doesn't care at all.

She doesn't seem to have any anxiety issues and no outburst, ever. She does bite her fingernails all the time. In fact, I think I've only had to cut them a couple times in her whole life. She's a very calm quiet child with little to say.

Thank you for all your feedback. It is so appreciated.

~*

In a message dated 3/28/2011 11:05:38 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, susanonderko@... writes:

She does have language and emotional and social delays and thatis considered autism or they may call it a PervasiveDevelopmental Disorder. Some schools will not do anythinguntil the parents do all the work of evaluations etc. I would have her have a neuropsychological evaluation,you will definately find out where her strenghts and weakneses are,in the early grades kids can do well. How are her organization skills? My daughter regresses to baby talk etc with me at homeand she is 13, she wants to be hugged and loved and told how precious she is, I know she is overwhelmedsocially at school.You can make home a safe and loving place, you can take aninterest in her interests and not let her withdraw, you can broaden her interests a little on Saturday,have her take a dance class at the YMCA (where theyoften accomodate kids with any kind of developmental delays)or have her take a class there with peers, take her to the libray, bike rides, teach her to roller skate, go to the mall for lunch ...you are practicing with herthings typical girls do on the weekend, this reallyhas helped my daughter (although she still regressesat home, she can with very sensitive kids fit in some).It is really hard to say what cased the autism or PDDI think this diagnosis is closest one you will get,you did not mention any anxiety or outburts (thank goodness)I would join an Asperger or autism group and you willfind parents with similar issues as yours. Most ASkids talk too much but there delays are similar in otherareas. Pam >> > > Hello everyone!> > I joined this list in hopes to find out more about aspergers. I have > an 8 year old daughter (soon to be 9 next month). She hasn't been > diagnosed with anything, but the last time we took her to the pediatrician we > talked to him about our concerns and he said she had a lot of the signs of > aspergers. Here's her story.> > My sister gave birth to her and died when she () was just 3 years > old. My sister did a lot of drugs while pregnant and when was > born she at first wouldn't cry and then after 2 days in the hospital she > wouldn't stop crying. My sister took her home, but couldn't handle her so we > took her. She was back and forth from my sister to myself and my husband. > My sister died of a drug overdose when turned 3 and we legally > adopted her a couple months later.> > When we brought her home to live with us for good, she could only say 1 > word at a time. She didn't know anything. We immediately got her speech > therapy and that helped her a lot.> > She was scared to death of anything loud (sweeper, lawn mower, even me > taking foil off the roll) She would cry and cry. When my sister had her > she spent most of her time in her baby bed without being socialized so we > think that really hindered her success of being about to communicate well. > She always took a long time to answer and when she did she would just > repeat the question you asked her. She also had sensory issues. She gagged on > most food and took a long time to swallow it. One day without us realizing > it, she had the same food from dinner in her mouth hours later. > > Today, at the age of 8 she has came a long way. She's in regular school > and has made A's and B's up until this year. We can see her grades starting > to slip, but she seems so smart when it comes to school stuff.> > She still holds food in her mouth at times and gags at times. She also > seems to take a long time to eat her food. If its something she likes then > she can eat it normally (donuts, ice cream, cookies) She doesn't repeat > what we say anymore, but she takes a long time to answer and sometimes she > answers with something you didn't even ask her. She colors us pictures > all the time and puts them in envelopes. Her coloring isn't good. I would > compare it to a 4 year old. She seems to only enjoy art stuff (drawing, > coloring, cutting out paper and making things) she doesn't like dolls or > anything else.> > She likes all baby TV shows. she doesn't like any of the stuff the girls > her age like. > > The thing I question is why doesn't the school, the teachers, the kids > notice that she's different? My husband feels like since her grades are OK > they don't care about the other stuff. Also, she's just in 2nd grade and > maybe it's not as noticeable? > > I feel so alone at times because I feel like I'm on this emotional roller > coaster. It's like I try to make her be normal by telling her "you need to > do big girl things" or that's "babyish". I'm one of those "fix it" people > and I struggle with myself all the time thinking how I can fix her and > make her be a normal 8 year old. I try to talk to her like I would anyone > else and it just doesn't happen.> > I feel lost and I wanted to join a group where someone can relate to me > and possibly help me to help myself and her with dealing with this. > > Also, from what I've told you all, does all this sound familiar to autism > or asbergers? Or am I just way off base?> > Thanks so much if you read all of this.> > ~>

[Guest guest]

Hello ,

Welcome to the group. Your daughter sounds a lot like many of our sons and daughters. She will not doubt need a lot of help and patients. But with the right supports she can grow and become more independant. One major thing with Aspergers kids is they mature on their own time line which is much slower than NT (neurotypical) kids.

You have come to the right place for support. Glad to have you with us!

ne

On Mar 26, 2011, at 5:28 PM, fitgrl222@... wrote:

Hello everyone!

I joined this list in hopes to find out more about aspergers. I have an 8 year old daughter (soon to be 9 next month). She hasn't been diagnosed with anything, but the last time we took her to the pediatrician we talked to him about our concerns and he said she had a lot of the signs of aspergers. Here's her story.

My sister gave birth to her and died when she () was just 3 years old. My sister did a lot of drugs while pregnant and when was born she at first wouldn't cry and then after 2 days in the hospital she wouldn't stop crying. My sister took her home, but couldn't handle her so we took her. She was back and forth from my sister to myself and my husband. My sister died of a drug overdose when turned 3 and we legally adopted her a couple months later.

When we brought her home to live with us for good, she could only say 1 word at a time. She didn't know anything. We immediately got her speech therapy and that helped her a lot.

She was scared to death of anything loud (sweeper, lawn mower, even me taking foil off the roll) She would cry and cry. When my sister had her she spent most of her time in her baby bed without being socialized so we think that really hindered her success of being about to communicate well. She always took a long time to answer and when she did she would just repeat the question you asked her. She also had sensory issues. She gagged on most food and took a long time to swallow it. One day without us realizing it, she had the same food from dinner in her mouth hours later.

Today, at the age of 8 she has came a long way. She's in regular school and has made A's and B's up until this year. We can see her grades starting to slip, but she seems so smart when it comes to school stuff.

She still holds food in her mouth at times and gags at times. She also seems to take a long time to eat her food. If its something she likes then she can eat it normally (donuts, ice cream, cookies) She doesn't repeat what we say anymore, but she takes a long time to answer and sometimes she answers with something you didn't even ask her. She colors us pictures all the time and puts them in envelopes. Her coloring isn't good. I would compare it to a 4 year old. She seems to only enjoy art stuff (drawing, coloring, cutting out paper and making things) she doesn't like dolls or anything else.

She likes all baby TV shows. she doesn't like any of the stuff the girls her age like.

The thing I question is why doesn't the school, the teachers, the kids notice that she's different? My husband feels like since her grades are OK they don't care about the other stuff. Also, she's just in 2nd grade and maybe it's not as noticeable?

I feel so alone at times because I feel like I'm on this emotional roller coaster. It's like I try to make her be normal by telling her "you need to do big girl things" or that's "babyish". I'm one of those "fix it" people and I struggle with myself all the time thinking how I can fix her and make her be a normal 8 year old. I try to talk to her like I would anyone else and it just doesn't happen.

I feel lost and I wanted to join a group where someone can relate to me and possibly help me to help myself and her with dealing with this.

Also, from what I've told you all, does all this sound familiar to autism or asbergers? Or am I just way off base?

Thanks so much if you read all of this.

~

[Guest guest]

Thank you ne!

In a message dated 3/31/2011 10:19:13 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, s_hansen34@... writes:

Hello ,

Welcome to the group. Your daughter sounds a lot like many of our sons and daughters. She will not doubt need a lot of help and patients. But with the right supports she can grow and become more independant. One major thing with Aspergers kids is they mature on their own time line which is much slower than NT (neurotypical) kids.

You have come to the right place for support. Glad to have you with us!

ne

On Mar 26, 2011, at 5:28 PM, fitgrl222@... wrote:

Hello everyone!

I joined this list in hopes to find out more about aspergers. I have an 8 year old daughter (soon to be 9 next month). She hasn't been diagnosed with anything, but the last time we took her to the pediatrician we talked to him about our concerns and he said she had a lot of the signs of aspergers. Here's her story.

My sister gave birth to her and died when she () was just 3 years old. My sister did a lot of drugs while pregnant and when was born she at first wouldn't cry and then after 2 days in the hospital she wouldn't stop crying. My sister took her home, but couldn't handle her so we took her. She was back and forth from my sister to myself and my husband. My sister died of a drug overdose when turned 3 and we legally adopted her a couple months later.

When we brought her home to live with us for good, she could only say 1 word at a time. She didn't know anything. We immediately got her speech therapy and that helped her a lot.

She was scared to death of anything loud (sweeper, lawn mower, even me taking foil off the roll) She would cry and cry. When my sister had her she spent most of her time in her baby bed without being socialized so we think that really hindered her success of being about to communicate well. She always took a long time to answer and when she did she would just repeat the question you asked her. She also had sensory issues. She gagged on most food and took a long time to swallow it. One day without us realizing it, she had the same food from dinner in her mouth hours later.

Today, at the age of 8 she has came a long way. She's in regular school and has made A's and B's up until this year. We can see her grades starting to slip, but she seems so smart when it comes to school stuff.

She still holds food in her mouth at times and gags at times. She also seems to take a long time to eat her food. If its something she likes then she can eat it normally (donuts, ice cream, cookies) She doesn't repeat what we say anymore, but she takes a long time to answer and sometimes she answers with something you didn't even ask her. She colors us pictures all the time and puts them in envelopes. Her coloring isn't good. I would compare it to a 4 year old. She seems to only enjoy art stuff (drawing, coloring, cutting out paper and making things) she doesn't like dolls or anything else.

She likes all baby TV shows. she doesn't like any of the stuff the girls her age like.

The thing I question is why doesn't the school, the teachers, the kids notice that she's different? My husband feels like since her grades are OK they don't care about the other stuff. Also, she's just in 2nd grade and maybe it's not as noticeable?

I feel so alone at times because I feel like I'm on this emotional roller coaster. It's like I try to make her be normal by telling her "you need to do big girl things" or that's "babyish". I'm one of those "fix it" people and I struggle with myself all the time thinking how I can fix her and make her be a normal 8 year old. I try to talk to her like I would anyone else and it just doesn't happen.

I feel lost and I wanted to join a group where someone can relate to me and possibly help me to help myself and her with dealing with this.

Also, from what I've told you all, does all this sound familiar to autism or asbergers? Or am I just way off base?

Thanks so much if you read all of this.

~

[Guest guest]

Hi-

You should get a neuropsych done on her. I have a birthson with Aspergers, but I also have 2 children that I adopted through foster care and the have Fetal Alcohol Effects ( it is effects because they show none of the physical features of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome). Fetal Alcohol usually affects the frontal lobe of the child. There are alot of similarities in the 2. Also if she did drugs you can find out what kind of damage that may have caused. Anyway I dont know if that helps, but is something to look into.

Thanks,Kendra

Hello everyone!

I joined this list in hopes to find out more about aspergers. I have an 8 year old daughter (soon to be 9 next month). She hasn't been diagnosed with anything, but the last time we took her to the pediatrician we talked to him about our concerns and he said she had a lot of the signs of aspergers. Here's her story.

My sister gave birth to her and died when she () was just 3 years old. My sister did a lot of drugs while pregnant and when was born she at first wouldn't cry and then after 2 days in the hospital she wouldn't stop crying. My sister took her home, but couldn't handle her so we took her. She was back and forth from my sister to myself and my husband. My sister died of a drug overdose when turned 3 and we legally adopted her a couple months later.

When we brought her home to live with us for good, she could only say 1 word at a time. She didn't know anything. We immediately got her speech therapy and that helped her a lot.

She was scared to death of anything loud (sweeper, lawn mower, even me taking foil off the roll) She would cry and cry. When my sister had her she spent most of her time in her baby bed without being socialized so we think that really hindered her success of being about to communicate well. She always took a long time to answer and when she did she would just repeat the question you asked her. She also had sensory issues. She gagged on most food and took a long time to swallow it. One day without us realizing it, she had the same food from dinner in her mouth hours later.

Today, at the age of 8 she has came a long way. She's in regular school and has made A's and B's up until this year. We can see her grades starting to slip, but she seems so smart when it comes to school stuff.

She still holds food in her mouth at times and gags at times. She also seems to take a long time to eat her food. If its something she likes then she can eat it normally (donuts, ice cream, cookies) She doesn't repeat what we say anymore, but she takes a long time to answer and sometimes she answers with something you didn't even ask her. She colors us pictures all the time and puts them in envelopes. Her coloring isn't good. I would compare it to a 4 year old. She seems to only enjoy art stuff (drawing, coloring, cutting out paper and making things) she doesn't like dolls or anything else.

She likes all baby TV shows. she doesn't like any of the stuff the girls her age like.

The thing I question is why doesn't the school, the teachers, the kids notice that she's different? My husband feels like since her grades are OK they don't care about the other stuff. Also, she's just in 2nd grade and maybe it's not as noticeable?

I feel so alone at times because I feel like I'm on this emotional roller coaster. It's like I try to make her be normal by telling her "you need to do big girl things" or that's "babyish". I'm one of those "fix it" people and I struggle with myself all the time thinking how I can fix her and make her be a normal 8 year old. I try to talk to her like I would anyone else and it just doesn't happen.

I feel lost and I wanted to join a group where someone can relate to me and possibly help me to help myself and her with dealing with this.

Also, from what I've told you all, does all this sound familiar to autism or asbergers? Or am I just way off base?

Thanks so much if you read all of this.

~