New to the group and A.S. realization with DH also - Sorry so long

[Guest guest]

Hello all,

Our 4 yr old son was evaluated in December through a local regional center and

found to have mild/moderate autism by the phychologist using different

evaluation 'tests', I think CARS2 and 2 others. At the time our son was verbal

but not at all conversational. He would rarely answer yes or no questions, most

responses consited of repetitive speech. And he was having a definate 'B' day

on the day of the evaluation (more in his own realm), not an 'A' day.

Since then he has progressed quickly and is now answering yes, no with his own

variations " of course " and " I think so " are his favorites lately. Sentence

structure and conversational skills are growing and getting better every day.

During conversations he rarely repeats unless something is a new concept, then

he goes over it a few times as if analyzing and storing it, then moves on. In

play mode much of it is still repeat phrases of books or movies, but he is

beginning to incorporate original wording.

Our pediatrician at the time believed him to be more in the Asperger or PDD-NOS

area despite the results of the evaluation. He had met with Tyler several times

and saw his social interest but awkwardness with it.

This all occured during a time in which my DH was on deployment to Iraq with his

Army National Guard Battalion. I went to stay with my parents during his

absence. Now we are back home in a different state and I am finding that I have

to start the entire process over again.

I suppose it will be good to have him re-evaluated as his progress is

remarkable. I have read a few books and agree that he is somewhere in the AS or

PDD-NOS range.

Our biggest issue at this time is toilet training. He has been going pee on the

toilet for almost 2 years, but only with prompts. I have to remind him or he

goes in his clothes. We have had ups and downs with this. At one point he

started fighting me about going. So I started a puzzle reward system and the

fighting stopped, but still not self initiated too well. There have been a few

times he has went in on his own, but not very many. He can hold it when needed,

on trips, etc. It seems that he is just not recognizing the sensation and

relying on me to prompt him. I tried the lettin him get wet and uncomfortable

method with undies and after a week gave up because it did nothing for him.

Great accomplishment is bowel movements have been happening in the potty for 2

weeks and the last 4 days on his own while going in to urinate he has decided to

sit and have a bm. This is wonderful for him! - but the initiation to go in was

a prompt from me to go pee.

Anyway, I guess I am wondering if anyone else has had similar experience and how

do you get past it?

Aspie stuff like light sensitivity, sometimes noise, focus issues when there are

distractions in the room, taking SO long to get things done, speech issues with

pronouns and the 'WH' questions, independence (still wanting to sleep with me),

among others I am trying to address as we go.

After reading about AS both myself and my DH realize that my DH has many of the

characteristics himself, some of which have frustrated me at times over the

years and now I am beginning to understand a little better.

Another issue I have problems with is emotions with Tyler. Not so much his

recognizing emotions in others, although there is some of that, but more his

getting upset when something doesn't workout quite right in his opinion and his

getting upset. He cries tears and then gets VERY upset and rubs at his eyes and

face and says, " I have broken my tears!!! " I think this might be partially my

fault for telling him, " don't cry " when he would get upset over something that

to me seemed simple. I would try to explain that it is, " just because this or

that " and " don't cry, it's okay " not realizing how the situation or my words

were effecting him.

So, I am working on getting books about emotions from our local library system

and starting that process also.

Tyler loves other children. He has had little social interaction outside of home

with his younger brother and family cousins. He tries so hard at the park

saying hi and asking what kids are doing, but his eagerness seems to scare most

of the children off. It is heartbreaking to watch.

I am trying to get the toilet training done, so that preschool can happen for

him this year.

Also, I am trying to implement a schedule for AM, afternoon, and PM for him. I

am hoping this will help with the tasks taking so long for him to complete.

Getting dressed is like a 30 minute process and I feel like I am constantly

nagging him.

Anyway, SORRY so long! Looking forward to joining this group and all that we

have to offer eachother on this journey.

~ Pruden