RE: Re: Tired of always working on something, etc

[Guest guest]

No easy answers here and can't really give any advice other than

1) Don't give up just keep going.

2) If your still married try to get the father involved more.

3) Tell him, "Fine don't brush your teeth but your going to pay for the Dentist bill".

4) Perhaps your parents could come watch him for a week and you can just get a way for one week. Sounds like your exhausted.

No answers. The teen years are pretty hard on all parents I think but I'm sure its much worse for Aspie parents. At 13 I really hit puberty and lots of changes were going on. The kids at school all the sudden got really mean and nasty. Your son is probably going through an extra rough patch right now as well. The anxiety levels are probably much higher.

From: <kristenwallen@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Tired of always working on something, etc Date: Wednesday, October 20, 2010, 12:26 PM

Your day sounds EXACTLY like mine. Every day, every little thing is a gigantic ordeal and fight. Asking "please brush your teeth" it's as if I'm asking my 13 yo son to perform brain surgery. I am so tired and every morning after I drop him off at school I am frazzled and mad and sad that I'll only have peace until I pick him up.I don't like my son right now, it's really come to that point. I love him and I'll continue to take care of him, advocate for him and be verbally abused by him but it doesn't mean I have to like it. I know I sound like a horrible mother but I've had it, I've broke. I feel like a robot just going through the motions over and over.It's been really bad latlely as he's started middle school and if he's not happy then no ones happy.I'm sorry to sound so dark but I don't know what else to do, I'm mentally shot.I have visions of doing this with him when he's forty, dragging him out of bed to get

to his job (at Mcs if it were up to him)I hate being in this dark place but years of daily battles has weakened me, I give up.

[Guest guest]

,

Thanks again for your response on the melatonin. You might try upping the dose a bit of the melatonin. That might help with his anxiety. I've also read that vitamin C is largely concentrated in the brain and has helped with Synchofrania.....I can't spell..... You might try giving him 1 gram in the morning and 1 at night to see if it helps with the Bi-polar and anxiety side of things. There is another link I want to send to you on my computer at home. I'll do so later.

Try adding a bit more melatonin (not just for sleep)

Vitamin C (gets depleted with stressed)

Magnesium

Get him to exercise more

Socialize more

More Protein,

Less Gluten

Omega 3

More Sleep

No Caffeine

Vitamin B

Some sun everyday

Its interesting but all of the above happen to be helpful in reducing stress, anxiety, and cortisol. We also know that all of the above have been cited as being treatments for autism. University of South Florida has been doing research and noticed that kids with Autism has enlarged Amgala which effect anxiety. We also know that the typical cortisol spike kids with autism get in the morning is non-existent. But then throughout the day it is extremely choppy. So they are doing research on melatonin with the theory that better sleep will help regular cortisol better.

http://www.ehow.com/how_4843163_decrease-cortisol-levels.html

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2285129/five_ways_to_naturally_treat_anxiety.html

http://www.ehow.com/how_4919013_lower-levels-insomnia-adrenal-fatigue.html

http://www.ehow.com/how_4843163_decrease-cortisol-levels.html

From: <kristenwallen@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Tired of always working on something, etc Date: Wednesday, October 20, 2010, 12:26 PM

Your day sounds EXACTLY like mine. Every day, every little thing is a gigantic ordeal and fight. Asking "please brush your teeth" it's as if I'm asking my 13 yo son to perform brain surgery. I am so tired and every morning after I drop him off at school I am frazzled and mad and sad that I'll only have peace until I pick him up.I don't like my son right now, it's really come to that point. I love him and I'll continue to take care of him, advocate for him and be verbally abused by him but it doesn't mean I have to like it. I know I sound like a horrible mother but I've had it, I've broke. I feel like a robot just going through the motions over and over.It's been really bad latlely as he's started middle school and if he's not happy then no ones happy.I'm sorry to sound so dark but I don't know what else to do, I'm mentally shot.I have visions of doing this with him when he's forty, dragging him out of bed to get

to his job (at Mcs if it were up to him)I hate being in this dark place but years of daily battles has weakened me, I give up.

[Guest guest]

~ Please don't give up! I know you are drained. This is a very

draining challenge that we have been given to deal with. Everyday I lay in bed

dreading having to get up to do it all over again, and again, and again.....

You are definitly not alone in your feelings, especially your feelings toward

your son. I have and sometimes still feel the same way toward my son. I am

always saying " I know I love him somewhere deep down but I just don't feel it

right now. " This is a continous rollercoaster of feelings. Every once in a

while I look at him and have this overwhelming feeling of love but that can

change in a split second. I have often felt like a terrible Mom for feeling that

way and have felt so alone in this thinking. What I have found is talking with

someone who will listen and not judge to be very helpful. Someone to help get

me through the dark times, and there are many. If you don't have a therapist

for yourself I would suggest finding one. When you are feelings as sad as you

sound I think it's important to reach out not only to this group, or supportive

friends but a perfessional that really knows how to help get you through this

tough time. We are in this for a long, often times, draining hall. It's kinda

depressing. Please hang in there. Feel free to email me anytime and I mean

anytime!! You are not alone and are a great Mom!!!

---- <kristenwallen@...> wrote:

> Your day sounds EXACTLY like mine. Every day, every little thing is a gigantic

ordeal and fight. Asking " please brush your teeth " it's as if I'm asking my 13

yo son to perform brain surgery.

>

> I am so tired and every morning after I drop him off at school I am frazzled

and mad and sad that I'll only have peace until I pick him up.

> I don't like my son right now, it's really come to that point. I love him and

I'll continue to take care of him, advocate for him and be verbally abused by

him but it doesn't mean I have to like it. I know I sound like a horrible mother

but I've had it, I've broke. I feel like a robot just going through the motions

over and over.

>

> It's been really bad latlely as he's started middle school and if he's not

happy then no ones happy.

>

> I'm sorry to sound so dark but I don't know what else to do, I'm mentally

shot.

>

> I have visions of doing this with him when he's forty, dragging him out of bed

to get to his job (at Mcs if it were up to him)

>

> I hate being in this dark place but years of daily battles has weakened me, I

give up.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh and , I SO know how you feel. My 13 yr old just started a new school in a new BSP class with only 5 other students, yesterday was his first day and he already had problems. Then today, only an hour into the day, they call me. He is refusing to do his work, sitting on top of his desk and not getting down. etc. Stupid little things but enough for them to think they need to call me at work and even talk about "not wanting to have to suspend him already". I'm like, are you serious!!?? I speak to him and he says he hates it and wants to go back to his old school and says he will not do his work or go back tomorrow. I try to be firm and tell him that's not an option and he will do his work and he will comply. So when I pick him up later the assistant principle talks to me and says she thinks "they had a break through" today and hopefully tomorrow

will be a better day. I say, me too! As I walk out there are five people in the office including his new teacher. They all are looking at me as if I'm some God awful Mom and everything he does must be my fault because I'm failing as a mother. I'm tired of being judged and treated as if I'm a bad person because my son has Aspergers and has behavior issues. I'm tired too of telling him every day the same things, brush your teeth, take a shower, put your dishes in the sink and on and on and on....Sorry, but it is draining and overwhelming and painful. Sometimes I go to talk to someone and all I can do is cry, like someone let the flood gates open. When you're always trying to hold it together for your child's sake at meetings, at the multitude of doctor's visits, at family visits when you know eyes are on you when your child says or does inappropriate things. The only thing that sometimes holds me together is my faith. Failure is not an option, I am

stubborn like that. Maybe in the end that will be what gets me through...You are not alone and please hang in there. We have to keep eachother strong. <<hugs>> ne > Your day sounds EXACTLY like mine. Every day, every little thing is a gigantic ordeal and fight. Asking "please brush your teeth" it's as if I'm asking my 13 yo son to perform brain surgery. > > I am so tired and every morning after I drop him off at school I am frazzled and mad and sad that I'll only have

peace until I pick him up.> I don't like my son right now, it's really come to that point. I love him and I'll continue to take care of him, advocate for him and be verbally abused by him but it doesn't mean I have to like it. I know I sound like a horrible mother but I've had it, I've broke. I feel like a robot just going through the motions over and over.> > It's been really bad latlely as he's started middle school and if he's not happy then no ones happy.> > I'm sorry to sound so dark but I don't know what else to do, I'm mentally shot.> > I have visions of doing this with him when he's forty, dragging him out of bed to get to his job (at Mcs if it were up to him)> > I hate being in this dark place but years of daily battles has weakened me, I give up.> >

[Guest guest]

YES! This is us too with our boys. I have to actually sit with J. (1st Grade) and coach him through every part of his homework! He is learning to write his letters and simple words, so I have to sit there and make sure he is doing it "neatly" or I get a note from the teacher on the notebook that it is sloppy! I don't reallly have a problem with this teacher, but she KNOWS about his fine motor control, so it is insulting and demoralizing for her to keep writing "sloppy" in his notebook every time the letters aren't perfect! It is so draining to sit there and have to watch every word, every line...

Now B.(3rd Grade) only needs help sometimes and his handwriting is actually almost as bad as J.'s, but if I tell B. to slow down, he can write very neatly. He is good at Math and he is now learning times tables! I am so proud of both of them. They try so hard. I just wish they would stop "fighting" all the time. Does anyone else have a boy (or girl) who has impulse control problems? Like B. will pull J.'s hair for no reason, making J. smack him, and then they both run to us to tattle on each other. Sometimes D. (Preschool) gets caught up in it, but she is a tough little tomboy and can hold her own! Any suggestions on how to make them "get along" better?

In a message dated 10/20/2010 10:23:40 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, s_hansen34@... writes:

I'm tired too of telling him every day the same things, brush your teeth, take a shower, put your dishes in the sink and on and on and on....Sorry, but it is draining and overwhelming and painful.

[Guest guest]

Thank you! I will discuss that technology with the school very soon. I am lucky that even though I too have small motor problems, my writing is extra neat...but that is just because I worked on it endlessly and wasn't given any other options BUT to succeed when I was the boys' age. My mom never helped me (she just thought I was being difficult and stubborn at the time) and the school didn't have the resources they have today back in the late 1970's and 1980's when I was just a kid. There was no tolerance for "differently abled" children like myself so we were either labeled stupid, stubborn, unable to learn and shunned or thrown in a special-ed class and forgotton about. Yeah...I am so glad my boys can get the help they need. It makes me so happy to see how accepting the schools and the children are so far of them, even if they are a little different.

In a message dated 10/21/2010 11:08:20 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, s_hansen34@... writes:

Have you considered assistive technology? You might want to ask the school to have your son assessed. A lot of Aspie kids have trouble with writing and therfor it's sloppy or like with my son, he uses avoidance behaviors like refusing to do the work all together. He has told me that writing is actually painful for him, especially if he has to write a lot. Assistive tech is like a word processor and they can type everything, which is a lot easier for them. I feel bad for your son. Teachers can be SO thoughtless. As for your boys getting along better...sounds very typical for siblings actually. I always tought my kids to keep their hands to themselves and would give them consequences when they didn't. It took a little while but eventually it sunk in. ;-)ne> From: kristieannesmama@... <kristieannesmama@...>> Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Tired of always working on something, etc> > Date: Thursday, October 21, 2010, 8:01 AM> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > YES! This is us too with our boys. I have to actually> sit with J. (1st > Grade) and coach him through every part of his homework! He> is learning to write > his letters and simple words, so I have to sit there and> make sure he is doing > it "neatly" or I get a note from the teacher on> the notebook that it is sloppy! > I don't reallly have a problem with this teacher, but> she KNOWS about his fine > motor control, so it is insulting and demoralizing for her> to keep writing > "sloppy" in his notebook every time the letters> aren't perfect! It is so > draining to sit there and have to watch every word, every> line...> > Now B.(3rd Grade) only needs help sometimes and his> handwriting is actually > almost as bad as J.'s, but if I tell B. to slow down,> he can write very neatly. > He is good at Math and he is now learning times> tables! I am so proud of > both of them. They try so hard. I just wish they would stop> "fighting" all the > time. Does anyone else have a boy (or girl) who has impulse> control problems? > Like B. will pull J.'s hair for no reason, making J.> smack him, and then they > both run to us to tattle on each other. Sometimes D.> (Preschool) gets caught up > in it, but she is a tough little tomboy and can hold her> own! Any suggestions on > how to make them "get along" better?> > > In a message dated 10/20/2010 10:23:40 P.M. Eastern> Daylight Time, > s_hansen34@... writes:> I'm > tired too of telling him every day the same things, brush> your teeth, take a > shower, put your dishes in the sink and on and on and> on....Sorry, but it is > draining and overwhelming and painful. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

[Guest guest]

Have you considered assistive technology? You might want to ask the school to

have your son assessed. A lot of Aspie kids have trouble with writing and

therfor it's sloppy or like with my son, he uses avoidance behaviors like

refusing to do the work all together. He has told me that writing is actually

painful for him, especially if he has to write a lot. Assistive tech is like a

word processor and they can type everything, which is a lot easier for them. I

feel bad for your son. Teachers can be SO thoughtless.

As for your boys getting along better...sounds very typical for siblings

actually. I always tought my kids to keep their hands to themselves and would

give them consequences when they didn't. It took a little while but eventually

it sunk in. ;-)

ne

> From: kristieannesmama@... <kristieannesmama@...>

> Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Tired of always working on something, etc

>

> Date: Thursday, October 21, 2010, 8:01 AM

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>  

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> YES! This is us too with our boys. I have to actually

> sit with J. (1st

> Grade) and coach him through every part of his homework! He

> is learning to write

> his letters and simple words, so I have to sit there and

> make sure he is doing

> it " neatly " or I get a note from the teacher on

> the notebook that it is sloppy!

> I don't reallly have a problem with this teacher, but

> she KNOWS about his fine

> motor control, so it is insulting and demoralizing for her

> to keep writing

> " sloppy " in his notebook every time the letters

> aren't perfect! It is so

> draining to sit there and have to watch every word, every

> line...

>  

> Now B.(3rd Grade) only needs help sometimes and his

> handwriting is actually

> almost as bad as J.'s, but if I tell B. to slow down,

> he can write very neatly.

> He is good at Math and he is now learning times

> tables! I am so proud of

> both of them. They try so hard. I just wish they would stop

> " fighting " all the

> time. Does anyone else have a boy (or girl) who has impulse

> control problems?

> Like B. will pull J.'s hair for no reason, making J.

> smack him, and then they

> both run to us to tattle on each other. Sometimes D.

> (Preschool) gets caught up

> in it, but she is a tough little tomboy and can hold her

> own! Any suggestions on

> how to make them " get along " better?

>  

>

> In a message dated 10/20/2010 10:23:40 P.M. Eastern

> Daylight Time,

> s_hansen34@... writes:

> I'm

> tired too of telling him every day the same things, brush

> your teeth, take a

> shower, put your dishes in the sink and on and on and

> on....Sorry, but it is

> draining and overwhelming and painful.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I don't post much, but read often. This morning we had a bad morning. It's such a strain at times on my marriage. My husband is in the military and would love for her to line up. She has such a hard time focusing her attention before she has her concerta. It's the same thing every morning. Brush your teeth.. I did...Madeline your teeth are YELLOW..brush your teeth...I did...Madeline now..reasoning doens't help..it makes it worse..every day it seems like I am making this decision as to what road to go down today...have a decent morning and hope all her teeth don't fall out or push it knowing she will lock down and when the bus comes have to literally push her on the bus with the driver and the helper coaxing her on. The same with deodrant...a bra..change her clothes...every day it's something else. I love my daughter so much, but every few months I go thru this depression knowing this is what my life is going to be like the rest of my life. "normal" parents give me the...Brighten up..speech and it's going to get better..at which point I want to smack 'em. LOL. I love this support group. Every time I read a post I know that you know what I am thinking and no judgements. We are all going thru the same thing...

Mom to my 4 girls

Madeline, Cayla, Arabella, & Vincenza

"You are the TRIP I did not take

You are the PEARLS I cannot buy

You are the blue Italian LAKE

YOU are my piece of foreign SKY"

---Anne ----

Re: ( ) Re: Tired of always working on something, etc

Oh and , I SO know how you feel. My 13 yr old just started a new school in a new BSP class with only 5 other students, yesterday was his first day and he already had problems. Then today, only an hour into the day, they call me. He is refusing to do his work, sitting on top of his desk and not getting down. etc. Stupid little things but enough for them to think they need to call me at work and even talk about "not wanting to have to suspend him already". I'm like, are you serious!!?? I speak to him and he says he hates it and wants to go back to his old school and says he will not do his work or go back tomorrow. I try to be firm and tell him that's not an option and he will do his work and he will comply. So when I pick him up later the assistant principle talks to me and says she thinks "they had a break through" today and hopefully tomorrow

will be a better day. I say, me too! As I walk out there are five people in the office including his new teacher. They all are looking at me as if I'm some God awful Mom and everything he does must be my fault because I'm failing as a mother. I'm tired of being judged and treated as if I'm a bad person because my son has Aspergers and has behavior issues. I'm tired too of telling him every day the same things, brush your teeth, take a shower, put your dishes in the sink and on and on and on....Sorry, but it is draining and overwhelming and painful. Sometimes I go to talk to someone and all I can do is cry, like someone let the flood gates open. When you're always trying to hold it together for your child's sake at meetings, at the multitude of doctor's visits, at family visits when you know eyes are on you when your child says or does inappropriate things. The only thing that sometimes holds me together is my faith. Failure is not an option, I am

stubborn like that. Maybe in the end that will be what gets me through...You are not alone and please hang in there. We have to keep eachother strong.

<<hugs>>

ne

> Your day sounds EXACTLY like mine. Every day, every little thing is a gigantic ordeal and fight. Asking "please brush your teeth" it's as if I'm asking my 13 yo son to perform brain surgery.

>

> I am so tired and every morning after I drop him off at school I am frazzled and mad and sad that I'll only have

peace until I pick him up.

> I don't like my son right now, it's really come to that point. I love him and I'll continue to take care of him, advocate for him and be verbally abused by him but it doesn't mean I have to like it. I know I sound like a horrible mother but I've had it, I've broke. I feel like a robot just going through the motions over and over.

>

> It's been really bad latlely as he's started middle school and if he's not happy then no ones happy.

>

> I'm sorry to sound so dark but I don't know what else to do, I'm mentally shot.

>

> I have visions of doing this with him when he's forty, dragging him out of bed to get to his job (at Mcs if it were up to him)

>

> I hate being in this dark place but years of daily battles has weakened me, I give up.

>

>

[Guest guest]

OMG I HATE that speech! I get it all the time...along with the "you are so lucky because XX has a son/daughter who is SO much WORSE than your kids...

People are such IDIOTS sometimes. I swear I want to go postal sometimes. Thank goodness I have Asperger's myself so I don't associate or even mingle with any of the other parents much, though there are some I do talk to just because I have known them for a while and our kids have been in the same school for a few years now. I keep to myself and just pray that the boys won't have a "bad" day in school. Our 8 year old takes off his shoes CONSTANTLY during class, and we can't figure out a way to stop that! We have tried incentives, punishing, ignoring (which really doesn't work because I can't ignore it!) but NOTHING works! His teacher doesn't stop it because she has a class full of kids and she picks her battles...I guess that makes sense. I SO agree. I like this group so far!

In a message dated 10/21/2010 4:18:54 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, Zazoo81198@... writes:

normal" parents give me the...Brighten up..speech

[Guest guest]

I never judge other parents anymore what so ever. My family used to be critical of my cousin because of her son's behavior. Turned out he had ADHD. Even then it was easy to criticize. But now that I have an ASPIE I can totally understand. These kids simply are wired different. They have anxieties that most kids don't get until they are really old enough to handle them. And I know lots of people have it even worse than my wife and I do. When my son digs his heels in it can be a real struggle. We are lucky though because for the most part he does, at this point, want to please us.

I'm sure he is going to be extremely difficult in his teen years. All I can say is try your best to reduce their anxiety. As I posted yesterday it seems that most of the proven yet debated methods for helping kids with autism all happend to help reduce cortisol. I even read an article last night that clamined to prove that music therapy reduce cortisol levels. How about that. And all of this stuff works on NT people too. Its just these ASPIE and AUTISTIC kids have soooooo much more stuff they are dealing with.

By the way I hears lots of people who are ASPIE's end up in the military because they like the structure.

> Your day sounds EXACTLY like mine. Every day, every little thing is a gigantic ordeal and fight. Asking "please brush your teeth" it's as if I'm asking my 13 yo son to perform brain surgery. > > I am so tired and every morning after I drop him off at school I am frazzled and mad and sad that I'll only have peace until I pick him up.> I don't

like my son right now, it's really come to that point. I love him and I'll continue to take care of him, advocate for him and be verbally abused by him but it doesn't mean I have to like it. I know I sound like a horrible mother but I've had it, I've broke. I feel like a robot just going through the motions over and over.> > It's been really bad latlely as he's started middle school and if he's not happy then no ones happy.> > I'm sorry to sound so dark but I don't know what else to do, I'm mentally shot.> > I have visions of doing this with him when he's forty, dragging him out of bed to get to his job (at Mcs if it were up to him)> > I hate being in this dark place but years of daily battles has weakened me, I give up.> >

[Guest guest]

I can relate my boyfriend son 14. He a single parent his mom not in the picture

I help him best way I can sometimes I think my boyfriend gonna snap like twig

from the stress. Wouldn't it be nice to have drama free week. Try to hang in

there take one day at a time. I know it rough being as parent is hardest job you

can have not easy being a super parent

On Thu Oct 21st, 2010 9:07 PM EDT cmt263 wrote:

>All these posts just make me want to cry.....I totally understand. This kind of

goes along with my post from the other day about disrespectful comments (thank

you all for your wonderful responses...I have not had a chance to respond but

have eagerly read the replies). I know how it feels to be this frustrated and

depressed. I myself get sooooooo sick of screaming at my son!! I try so hard

not to, but he pushes me until I can't take it anymore! Like our trip to the

store today......he absolutely did not want to go to the grocery and he made

that clear from the moment I mentioned it. I am a single Mom and try my best to

go when he is with his Dad, but sometimes...you need to go! We were out of

toilet paper, milk....essential items! It started off with a fit because I

would not let him ride in the " car cart " .....he is almost 9 years old and I am

just now refusing to let him ride in a cart. People look at us strange, but I

have always let him do it

to keep the peace! We are at the point where he just doesn't fit anymore and I

can hardly push the cart (he is nearly as big as I am!!). So, it starts of with

a fit before we even actually enter the store! I get to look like the a crappy

mother for every person walking in the busy store! Then again at the deli

because I would not let him get mountain dew (which I have never allowed by the

way, why would I now??) and he is still going on about that (and has probably

found the opportunity to embarrass me in front of the deli clerk). He just says

such nasty things to get to me.

>

>I've been struggling with the way my boyfriend is struggling to " get " my son

and his behavior. Maybe I am expecting the impossible after reading these posts

and knowing my own feelings at times. I love my son so much and hurt for him so

often. It is exhausting feeling all these emotions all the time while trying to

keep it all together. Some days you just can't keep it together anymore!! I

totally feel the same way and while I am glad to know I am not alone, it makes

me so sad that there are other parents feeling this same way......

>

>

>>

>> Your day sounds EXACTLY like mine. Every day, every little thing is a

gigantic ordeal and fight. Asking " please brush your teeth " it's as if I'm

asking my 13 yo son to perform brain surgery.

>>

>> I am so tired and every morning after I drop him off at school I am frazzled

and mad and sad that I'll only have peace until I pick him up.

>> I don't like my son right now, it's really come to that point. I love him and

I'll continue to take care of him, advocate for him and be verbally abused by

him but it doesn't mean I have to like it. I know I sound like a horrible mother

but I've had it, I've broke. I feel like a robot just going through the motions

over and over.

>>

>> It's been really bad latlely as he's started middle school and if he's not

happy then no ones happy.

>>

>> I'm sorry to sound so dark but I don't know what else to do, I'm mentally

shot.

>>

>> I have visions of doing this with him when he's forty, dragging him out of

bed to get to his job (at Mcs if it were up to him)

>>

>> I hate being in this dark place but years of daily battles has weakened me, I

give up.

>>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Kristie,

Interesting cause my son (only 6), when he was in kendergarden he started asking to take off his shoes when going to Birthday Parties. He would often go bare foot in our back yard. I began to notice that he would ask to take his shoes off sometimes as a negotiating tactic when I was trying to get him to go somewhere he didn't want to go. He would make the request to be able to take off his shoes. If I said he could he'd calm down and go.

He seems to have got past this stage. But I thought then that it was some kind of tactile sensory issue. Perhaps if they can feel the ground more. There are actually a lot of articles out there about running barefoot and the benefits of doing so. Plus there is a company that makes special running shoes so you can feel the ground.

You might try letting him keep his shoes off a lot around the house. What I noticed with my son was that he seemed a bit more social with other kids when I'd let him go barefoot. Never an issue now really though I think he still prefers to be barefoot at the house. If you have a trampoline let him jump on it barefoot. When I was a kid its what kids did. Barefoot was cool. We used to judge how tough we were by how much we could do barefoot. Eventually your feet get pretty tough.

We also noticed with toddler that the first few times we put shoes on him he couldn't stand it. So we backed off for a while. Now he seems OK with it.

I think probably he feels more comfortable barefoot. It might be calming for him to get more input through his feet. Again try to let him get lots of sensory info through his feet at home. Then let him use flip flops too.

If the teacher isn't going to make an issue of it then it is probably good for him in the class.

later

From: kristieannesmama@... <kristieannesmama@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Tired of always working on something, etc Date: Thursday, October 21, 2010, 6:06 PM

OMG I HATE that speech! I get it all the time...along with the "you are so lucky because XX has a son/daughter who is SO much WORSE than your kids...

People are such IDIOTS sometimes. I swear I want to go postal sometimes. Thank goodness I have Asperger's myself so I don't associate or even mingle with any of the other parents much, though there are some I do talk to just because I have known them for a while and our kids have been in the same school for a few years now. I keep to myself and just pray that the boys won't have a "bad" day in school. Our 8 year old takes off his shoes CONSTANTLY during class, and we can't figure out a way to stop that! We have tried incentives, punishing, ignoring (which really doesn't work because I can't ignore it!) but NOTHING works! His teacher doesn't stop it because she has a class full of kids and she picks her battles...I guess that makes sense. I SO agree. I like this group so far!

In a message dated 10/21/2010 4:18:54 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, Zazoo81198@... writes:

normal" parents give me the...Brighten up..speech

[Guest guest]

I wouldn't advocate saying, "Fine don't brush your teeth" and they can deal with the dental bills. It is certainly something that will happen way in the future, long past the days when the child is too immature to appreciate keeping his teeth cleaned. It's not like you can grow new teeth And many times these kids needs daily routine and guidance, especially in self-care skills.

Roxanna

"I

predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." - Jefferson

( ) Re: Tired of always working on something, etc

Date: Wednesday, October 20, 2010, 12:26 PM

Your day sounds EXACTLY like mine. Every day, every little thing is a gigantic ordeal and fight. Asking "please brush your teeth" it's as if I'm asking my 13 yo son to perform brain surgery.

I am so tired and every morning after I drop him off at school I am frazzled and mad and sad that I'll only have peace until I pick him up.

I don't like my son right now, it's really come to that point. I love him and I'll continue to take care of him, advocate for him and be verbally abused by him but it doesn't mean I have to like it. I know I sound like a horrible mother but I've had it, I've broke. I feel like a robot just going through the motions over and over.

It's been really bad latlely as he's started middle school and if he's not happy then no ones happy.

I'm sorry to sound so dark but I don't know what else to do, I'm mentally shot.

I have visions of doing this with him when he's forty, dragging him out of bed to get

to his job (at Mcs if it were up to him)

I hate being in this dark place but years of daily battles has weakened me, I give up.

[Guest guest]

How timely is your response, Roxanna! I just had an argument w/ my son about brushing his teeth but earlier this evening I realized, yet again, that my daughter used toothpaste but didn't actually use her toothbrush and she (as you know) is NT! I think the hygiene thing is not unique to our kids with Aspergers, but once bad habits are established, they are even harder to correct. My best advice to parents reading this is to start young, reenforce good habits from early on, and don't think because you have a good week or two that you can stop monitoring the teethbrushing. I feel like the toothbrush nazi.

From: Roxanna <MadIdeas@...> Sent: Thu, October 21, 2010 9:33:09 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: Tired of always working on something, etc

I wouldn't advocate saying, "Fine don't brush your teeth" and they can deal with the dental bills. It is certainly something that will happen way in the future, long past the days when the child is too immature to appreciate keeping his teeth cleaned. It's not like you can grow new teeth And many times these kids needs daily routine and guidance, especially in self-care skills.

Roxanna"I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." - Jefferson

( ) Re: Tired of always working on something, etc Date: Wednesday, October 20, 2010, 12:26 PM

Your day sounds EXACTLY like mine. Every day, every little thing is a gigantic ordeal and fight. Asking "please brush your teeth" it's as if I'm asking my 13 yo son to perform brain surgery. I am so tired and every morning after I drop him off at school I am frazzled and mad and sad that I'll only have peace until I pick him up.I don't like my son right now, it's really come to that point. I love him and I'll continue to take care of him, advocate for him and be verbally abused by him but it doesn't mean I have to like it. I know I sound like a horrible mother but I've had it, I've broke. I feel like a robot just going through the motions over and over.It's been really bad latlely as he's started middle school and if he's not happy then no ones happy.I'm sorry to sound so dark but I don't know what else to do, I'm mentally shot.I have visions of doing this with him when he's forty, dragging him out of bed to get

to his job (at Mcs if it were up to him)I hate being in this dark place but years of daily battles has weakened me, I give up.

[Guest guest]

There is a website - do2learn, I think, that has pictures of daily living skills that you might be able to print off & use.Sent from my iPhoneBlessings, DonnaOn Oct 21, 2010, at 9:58 PM, "Connie " <csjohnson70@...> wrote:

I can also relate to what all of you are saying. I have always considered myself a patient person, more easy going, and have found myself being more on edge with some of the daily challenges. I am also going through the rules constantly with my son (he is 12), and we have gone as far as put locks/keys on a couple bedrooms as he always has to 'sneak' and get in things. Though he is skinny, he does eat quite a bit, yet he constantly sneaks food and drinks into his room, tonight it was a large glass of orange juice which ended up on the floor, and I asked him not to take snacky foods to his room, only to have him take some in there an hour later.

The teeth thing is something we deal with too, along with the showers, flushing toilets, washing hands, putting clothes in a hamper, etc. It gets very stressful! Has anyone found any good solutions?

The child psychologist we take my son to, commented about doing pictures for various reminders, as there is no reading involved. Of course, I have to figure out how to do it and when to do it, as there is little time left in the day, and my husband doesn't do much in that area.

I'm sorry I am rambling, but also want to comment, I am glad I joined this group, it is great hearing the feedback and some other parent's experiences.

Thanks for listening,

Connie

> > Your day sounds EXACTLY like mine. Every day, every little thing is a gigantic ordeal and fight. Asking "please brush your teeth" it's as if I'm asking my 13 yo son to perform brain surgery.

> >

> > I am so tired and every morning after I drop him off at school I am frazzled and mad and sad that I'll only have peace until I pick him up.

> > I don't like my son right now, it's really come to that point. I love him and I'll continue to take care of him, advocate for him and be verbally abused by him but it doesn't mean I have to like it. I know I sound like a horrible mother but I've had it, I've broke. I feel like a robot just going through the motions over and over.

> >

> > It's been really bad latlely as he's started middle school and if he's not happy then no ones happy.

> >

> > I'm sorry to sound so dark but I don't know what else to do, I'm mentally shot.

> >

> > I have visions of doing this with him when he's forty, dragging him out of bed to get to his job (at Mcs if it were up to him)

> >

> > I hate being in this dark place but years of daily battles has weakened me, I give up.

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Omg we have same problem its so stressful I feel for you my boyfriend son 14 he sneaks food and drinks hygiene a big problem his room a disaster. My boyfriend a single the mother not in the picture. So I took on role as mom. It's like you have to be super mom. When ther at there best its awesome when there not behaving its nitemare I can relate to you I read a lot of books that helpsSent via BlackBerry from T-MobileFrom: "Connie " <csjohnson70@...>Sender: Date: Fri, 22 Oct 2010 02:58:08 -0000< >Reply Subject: ( ) Re: Tired of always working on something, etc I can also relate to what all of you are saying. I have always considered myself a patient person, more easy going, and have found myself being more on edge with some of the daily challenges. I am also going through the rules constantly with my son (he is 12), and we have gone as far as put locks/keys on a couple bedrooms as he always has to 'sneak' and get in things. Though he is skinny, he does eat quite a bit, yet he constantly sneaks food and drinks into his room, tonight it was a large glass of orange juice which ended up on the floor, and I asked him not to take snacky foods to his room, only to have him take some in there an hour later. The teeth thing is something we deal with too, along with the showers, flushing toilets, washing hands, putting clothes in a hamper, etc. It gets very stressful! Has anyone found any good solutions? The child psychologist we take my son to, commented about doing pictures for various reminders, as there is no reading involved. Of course, I have to figure out how to do it and when to do it, as there is little time left in the day, and my husband doesn't do much in that area. I'm sorry I am rambling, but also want to comment, I am glad I joined this group, it is great hearing the feedback and some other parent's experiences. Thanks for listening,Connie > > Your day sounds EXACTLY like mine. Every day, every little thing is a gigantic ordeal and fight. Asking " please brush your teeth " it's as if I'm asking my 13 yo son to perform brain surgery. > > > > I am so tired and every morning after I drop him off at school I am frazzled and mad and sad that I'll only have peace until I pick him up.> > I don't like my son right now, it's really come to that point. I love him and I'll continue to take care of him, advocate for him and be verbally abused by him but it doesn't mean I have to like it. I know I sound like a horrible mother but I've had it, I've broke. I feel like a robot just going through the motions over and over.> > > > It's been really bad latlely as he's started middle school and if he's not happy then no ones happy.> > > > I'm sorry to sound so dark but I don't know what else to do, I'm mentally shot.> > > > I have visions of doing this with him when he's forty, dragging him out of bed to get to his job (at Mcs if it were up to him)> > > > I hate being in this dark place but years of daily battles has weakened me, I give up.> > > >>

[Guest guest]

My 9 year old does it also. Until he was put on abilify that keeps him asleep. Some occasions he gets up but normally he is not feeling well. When he used to. Omg. The kitchen looked like a cyclone went through it. It was like he was having a buffet of food in there. A little of this and that. Drinks snacks ketchup everywhere on counter and drinks papers under bed in bed on tables it was horrible. But I know that. Wow. I love this group. I just joined last week and I'm feeling better already. I have a ways to go but every little bit helps right. Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerryFrom: denise092769@...Sender: Date: Fri, 22 Oct 2010 16:17:58 +0000< >Reply Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Tired of always working on something, etc Omg we have same problem its so stressful I feel for you my boyfriend son 14 he sneaks food and drinks hygiene a big problem his room a disaster. My boyfriend a single the mother not in the picture. So I took on role as mom. It's like you have to be super mom. When ther at there best its awesome when there not behaving its nitemare I can relate to you I read a lot of books that helpsSent via BlackBerry from T-MobileFrom: "Connie " <csjohnson70@...>Sender: Date: Fri, 22 Oct 2010 02:58:08 -0000< >Reply Subject: ( ) Re: Tired of always working on something, etc I can also relate to what all of you are saying. I have always considered myself a patient person, more easy going, and have found myself being more on edge with some of the daily challenges. I am also going through the rules constantly with my son (he is 12), and we have gone as far as put locks/keys on a couple bedrooms as he always has to 'sneak' and get in things. Though he is skinny, he does eat quite a bit, yet he constantly sneaks food and drinks into his room, tonight it was a large glass of orange juice which ended up on the floor, and I asked him not to take snacky foods to his room, only to have him take some in there an hour later. The teeth thing is something we deal with too, along with the showers, flushing toilets, washing hands, putting clothes in a hamper, etc. It gets very stressful! Has anyone found any good solutions? The child psychologist we take my son to, commented about doing pictures for various reminders, as there is no reading involved. Of course, I have to figure out how to do it and when to do it, as there is little time left in the day, and my husband doesn't do much in that area. I'm sorry I am rambling, but also want to comment, I am glad I joined this group, it is great hearing the feedback and some other parent's experiences. Thanks for listening,Connie > > Your day sounds EXACTLY like mine. Every day, every little thing is a gigantic ordeal and fight. Asking " please brush your teeth " it's as if I'm asking my 13 yo son to perform brain surgery. > > > > I am so tired and every morning after I drop him off at school I am frazzled and mad and sad that I'll only have peace until I pick him up.> > I don't like my son right now, it's really come to that point. I love him and I'll continue to take care of him, advocate for him and be verbally abused by him but it doesn't mean I have to like it. I know I sound like a horrible mother but I've had it, I've broke. I feel like a robot just going through the motions over and over.> > > > It's been really bad latlely as he's started middle school and if he's not happy then no ones happy.> > > > I'm sorry to sound so dark but I don't know what else to do, I'm mentally shot.> > > > I have visions of doing this with him when he's forty, dragging him out of bed to get to his job (at Mcs if it were up to him)> > > > I hate being in this dark place but years of daily battles has weakened me, I give up.> > > >>

[Guest guest]

This is how the boys' bedroom looks...toys all over the place--cards (alphabet cards) all over, books scattered on the beds and under the beds. I know kids are messy, but their room is always in a chronic state of disorganization.

In a message dated 10/22/2010 5:48:22 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, funnfaceme@... writes:

The kitchen looked like a cyclone went through it.

[Guest guest]

Hi Connie,

All I can say is, please ramble on and on, that is what we are all here for. Sometimes we don't have the answers (like me), but I still love this group because they can accept you without judgement.

Now I'm rambling lol.

From: Connie <csjohnson70@...> Sent: Thu, October 21, 2010 7:58:08 PMSubject: ( ) Re: Tired of always working on something, etc

I can also relate to what all of you are saying. I have always considered myself a patient person, more easy going, and have found myself being more on edge with some of the daily challenges. I am also going through the rules constantly with my son (he is 12), and we have gone as far as put locks/keys on a couple bedrooms as he always has to 'sneak' and get in things. Though he is skinny, he does eat quite a bit, yet he constantly sneaks food and drinks into his room, tonight it was a large glass of orange juice which ended up on the floor, and I asked him not to take snacky foods to his room, only to have him take some in there an hour later. The teeth thing is something we deal with too, along with the showers, flushing toilets, washing hands, putting clothes in a hamper, etc. It gets very stressful! Has anyone found any good solutions? The child psychologist we take my son to, commented about doing pictures for various reminders, as

there is no reading involved. Of course, I have to figure out how to do it and when to do it, as there is little time left in the day, and my husband doesn't do much in that area. I'm sorry I am rambling, but also want to comment, I am glad I joined this group, it is great hearing the feedback and some other parent's experiences. Thanks for listening,Connie > > Your day sounds EXACTLY like mine. Every day, every little thing is a gigantic ordeal

and fight. Asking "please brush your teeth" it's as if I'm asking my 13 yo son to perform brain surgery. > > > > I am so tired and every morning after I drop him off at school I am frazzled and mad and sad that I'll only have peace until I pick him up.> > I don't like my son right now, it's really come to that point. I love him and I'll continue to take care of him, advocate for him and be verbally abused by him but it doesn't mean I have to like it. I know I sound like a horrible mother but I've had it, I've broke. I feel like a robot just going through the motions over and over.> > > > It's been really bad latlely as he's started middle school and if he's not happy then no ones happy.> > > > I'm sorry to sound so dark but I don't know what else to do, I'm mentally shot.> > > > I have visions of doing this with him when he's forty, dragging him out of bed to get

to his job (at Mcs if it were up to him)> > > > I hate being in this dark place but years of daily battles has weakened me, I give up.> > > >>

[Guest guest]

I have three guys on the specturm.... my Asperger's guy has made hygene part of a schedule... I use to put lamiated list on the shower door... "Do you have shampoo, soap and towel ready" then inside the shower... the order of scrubbing things. He's almost 20 now he does well.... and the signs are gone.

My twins are profoundly affected by autism and are non-verbal, so we did much with pictures and gestures. Still to this day... my twins are now 18... I often brush my teeth with them, and they will sometime keep in sync with me... I'm on the top left so they will do the same. My guys even want to floss because I do it.

( ) Re: Tired of always working on something, etc Date: Wednesday, October 20, 2010, 12:26 PM

Your day sounds EXACTLY like mine. Every day, every little thing is a gigantic ordeal and fight. Asking "please brush your teeth" it's as if I'm asking my 13 yo son to perform brain surgery. I am so tired and every morning after I drop him off at school I am frazzled and mad and sad that I'll only have peace until I pick him up.I don't like my son right now, it's really come to that point. I love him and I'll continue to take care of him, advocate for him and be verbally abused by him but it doesn't mean I have to like it. I know I sound like a horrible mother but I've had it, I've broke. I feel like a robot just going through the motions over and over.It's been really bad latlely as he's started middle school and if he's not happy then no ones happy.I'm sorry to sound so dark but I don't know what else to do, I'm mentally shot.I have visions of doing this with him when he's forty, dragging him out of bed to get to his job (at Mcs if it were up to him)I hate being in this dark place but years of daily battles has weakened me, I give up.

[Guest guest]

My son is always snacking too. Taking food and drinks in his room. Then he ends up with crumbs all over or cups that stay in his room for days. About a month ago we started these new charts. One for every part of the day, morning schedule, school day, after school, chores and bedtime schedule. He earns points for everything. For instance his morning schedule is..eat breakfast, put bowl in dishwasher, take medicine, get dressed, brush teeth etc. He earns 5 minutes of "free time" for every point, which he can then use to play Xbox or get on his laptop etc. When he wakes up in the morning he has no "free time" per say. What I mean is he has to earn his priveledges daily. Depending on how many points he earns, will depend on how many minutes/hours of time he has to do the things he wants.

This has helped. I'm not saying we still don't have challenges. Like constantly prompting him, but he is now much more motivated to do what he is suppose to. The next challenge will be to try to get him to do them in a particular time frame since he still has no concept of time... It's a struggle most mornings to get him out of the door in time to catch the bus. Not sure if this will help anyone else but thought I'd share just in case. :-) ne

From: michelle scott <funnfaceme@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Tired of always working on something, etc Date: Friday, October 22, 2010, 12:53 PM

My 9 year old does it also. Until he was put on abilify that keeps him asleep. Some occasions he gets up but normally he is not feeling well. When he used to. Omg. The kitchen looked like a cyclone went through it. It was like he was having a buffet of food in there. A little of this and that. Drinks snacks ketchup everywhere on counter and drinks papers under bed in bed on tables it was horrible. But I know that. Wow. I love this group. I just joined last week and I'm feeling better already. I have a ways to go but every little bit helps right.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

From: denise092769@...

Sender:

Date: Fri, 22 Oct 2010 16:17:58 +0000

< >

Reply

Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Tired of always working on something, etc

Omg we have same problem its so stressful I feel for you my boyfriend son 14 he sneaks food and drinks hygiene a big problem his room a disaster. My boyfriend a single the mother not in the picture. So I took on role as mom. It's like you have to be super mom. When ther at there best its awesome when there not behaving its nitemare I can relate to you I read a lot of books that helps

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

From: "Connie " <csjohnson70@...>

Sender:

Date: Fri, 22 Oct 2010 02:58:08 -0000

< >

Reply

Subject: ( ) Re: Tired of always working on something, etc

I can also relate to what all of you are saying. I have always considered myself a patient person, more easy going, and have found myself being more on edge with some of the daily challenges. I am also going through the rules constantly with my son (he is 12), and we have gone as far as put locks/keys on a couple bedrooms as he always has to 'sneak' and get in things. Though he is skinny, he does eat quite a bit, yet he constantly sneaks food and drinks into his room, tonight it was a large glass of orange juice which ended up on the floor, and I asked him not to take snacky foods to his room, only to have him take some in there an hour later. The teeth thing is something we deal with too, along with the showers, flushing toilets, washing hands, putting clothes in a hamper, etc. It gets very stressful! Has anyone found any good solutions? The child psychologist we take my son to, commented about doing pictures for various reminders,

as there is no reading involved. Of course, I have to figure out how to do it and when to do it, as there is little time left in the day, and my husband doesn't do much in that area. I'm sorry I am rambling, but also want to comment, I am glad I joined this group, it is great hearing the feedback and some other parent's experiences. Thanks for listening,Connie > > Your day sounds EXACTLY like mine. Every day, every little thing is a gigantic ordeal and fight. Asking "please brush your teeth" it's as if I'm asking my 13 yo son to perform brain surgery. > > > > I am so tired and every morning after I drop him off at school I am frazzled and mad and sad that I'll only have peace until I pick him up.> > I don't like my son right now, it's really come to that point. I love him and I'll continue to take care of him, advocate for him and be verbally abused by him but it doesn't mean I have to like it. I know I sound like a horrible mother but I've had it, I've broke. I feel like a robot just going through the motions over and over.> > > > It's been really bad latlely as he's started middle school and if he's not happy then no ones happy.> > > > I'm sorry to sound so dark but I don't know what else to do,

I'm mentally shot.> > > > I have visions of doing this with him when he's forty, dragging him out of bed to get to his job (at Mcs if it were up to him)> > > > I hate being in this dark place but years of daily battles has weakened me, I give up.> > > >>

[Guest guest]

My son had this issue too when he was little. He would scream when he had to wear shoes when he was a toddler. He was a little chubby as a baby so we thought it was because he had, what we called, Flintstone feet. We bought Stride Rite shoes in wide and it helped. He didn't scream anymore but he still wanted them off as soon as he could. When he was in elementary school some teachers let him take them off or would use it as an incentive. Such as, if you do your math worksheet you can take your shoes off for a while. Now, he strips down to his boxers or pajama pants as soon as he gets home and walks around with bare feet. He tries to do this when we visit my in-laws and we have to tell him his is too old. 13 now. He just started wearing boxers this year actually. Before he wouldn't wear any under pants what so ever. When he was little I tried making him

wear them and he picked at his butt and crotch so much saying he had a "wedgy" that I let it go...I learned a long time ago to pick my battles. It'ssuch a relief to hear others with the same issues and I don't feel so much like I'm all alone in this. LOVE this group! ne

From: kristieannesmama@... <kristieannesmama@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Tired of always working on something, etc Date: Thursday, October 21, 2010, 6:06 PM

OMG I HATE that speech! I get it all the time...along with the "you are so lucky because XX has a son/daughter who is SO much WORSE than your kids...

People are such IDIOTS sometimes. I swear I want to go postal sometimes. Thank goodness I have Asperger's myself so I don't associate or even mingle with any of the other parents much, though there are some I do talk to just because I have known them for a while and our kids have been in the same school for a few years now. I keep to myself and just pray that the boys won't have a "bad" day in school. Our 8 year old takes off his shoes CONSTANTLY during class, and we can't figure out a way to stop that! We have tried incentives, punishing, ignoring (which really doesn't work because I can't ignore it!) but NOTHING works! His teacher doesn't stop it because she has a class full of kids and she picks her battles...I guess that makes sense. I SO agree. I like this group so far!

In a message dated 10/21/2010 4:18:54 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, Zazoo81198@... writes:

normal" parents give me the...Brighten up..speech

[Guest guest]

It is funny that this came up because with B. we are having a similar problem. He will NOT keep his gosh darned shoes on in school lol! The teacher lets it slide, and now I am rethinking everything (thanks to this group) and I think not doing anything about it is the best thing. Maybe we will look into velcro the next time we get shoes for him. He can't tie shoes yet, so I think that will be easier for him and us.

In a message dated 10/25/2010 9:18:48 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, s_hansen34@... writes:

He would scream when he had to wear shoes when he was a toddler.

[Guest guest]

LOL, BUT, you will have adult children with TEETH! lol. and pretty ones too. That is a good thing. Yes, even the NT kids can slack or not brush at all and have to be monitored. I think eventually for NT kids, the social implications quickly come into play as they get to the teen years - i.e. they want a nice smile and want to smell good to make/keep friends. Some AS kids will not make that connection as well. Now with my own two with HFA it's been such a coin toss - one is always opposite the other in extremes. My oldest loves to smell nice and hygiene was never a problem. I didn't realize how much "fun" this topic could really be until the second came along and hit puberty. He doesn't even notice he smells bad. I have talked to him a lot and he is really pretty cooperative about things. I'll be like, "Can't you smell that?" and he's like, "No, not at all." Oh my! So I am working with him on just having a set schedule and repeating, "Every day - shower and brush!" He can't tell but at least he might get into the routine anyway.

Roxanna

"I

predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." - Jefferson

( ) Re: Tired of always working on something, etc

Date: Wednesday, October 20, 2010, 12:26 PM

Your day sounds EXACTLY like mine. Every day, every little thing is a gigantic ordeal and fight. Asking "please brush your teeth" it's as if I'm asking my 13 yo son to perform brain surgery.

I am so tired and every morning after I drop him off at school I am frazzled and mad and sad that I'll only have peace until I pick him up.

I don't like my son right now, it's really come to that point. I love him and I'll continue to take care of him, advocate for him and be verbally abused by him but it doesn't mean I have to like it. I know I sound like a horrible mother but I've had it, I've broke. I feel like a robot just going through the motions over and over.

It's been really bad latlely as he's started middle school and if he's not happy then no ones happy.

I'm sorry to sound so dark but I don't know what else to do, I'm mentally shot.

I have visions of doing this with him when he's forty, dragging him out of bed to get

to his job (at Mcs if it were up to him)

I hate being in this dark place but years of daily battles has weakened me, I give up.

[Guest guest]

LOL Sorry, but that made me smile. Don't kids just floor you sometimes? LOL!

In a message dated 10/28/2010 4:36:28 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, b-pinckney@... writes:

My Liz's shoes totally disappeared last week. We have looked everywhere and are convinced they are not in the house. I think she must have taken them off somewhere (they are constantly untied anyway) and came home in her socks although she insists that NEVER could have happened.

From: kristieannesmama@...Date: Tue, 26 Oct 2010 08:08:07 -0400Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Tired of always working on something, etc

It is funny that this came up because with B. we are having a similar problem. He will NOT keep his gosh darned shoes on in school lol! The teacher lets it slide, and now I am rethinking everything (thanks to this group) and I think not doing anything about it is the best thing. Maybe we will look into velcro the next time we get shoes for him. He can't tie shoes yet, so I think that will be easier for him and us.

In a message dated 10/25/2010 9:18:48 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, s_hansen34@... writes:

He would scream when he had to wear shoes when he was a toddler.