Re: Well, I thought I would be nice.....

[Guest guest]

No suggestions but I can tell you that my son is the same way. Once he likes a book or even a series, it's hard to get him interested in ANYTHING else. He will read any nonfiction book but will only read Diary of a Wimpy Kid books for fiction right now. When he was younger it was ONLY Magic Tree House books...it does get frustrating but I am just happy that he is reading. :)From: Mike N <mikejn1@...>Subject: ( ) Well, I thought I would be nice..... Date: Monday, April 5, 2010, 7:57 PM

I was away for a few weeks visiting my brother. As a nice gesture and to say " I missed you" to my son. I bought him some new books. This way maybe he could retire the ones he has been reading over and over a million times.

So I presented him with the books on Saturday. Inkheart and another book. Both are fantasy, which he enjoys reading.. I just find it disappointing and discouraging that he has not even cracked them open to look at them..

Am I expecting too much? Why does he want to re-read books over and over and not want to start on something fresh. We talked about reading them and he says he "forgot" about them.. I am not sure what to think?

Does anyone have any input or ideas?

Thanks

[Guest guest]

Mike,

Do you ever read out loud to your son? My son is 10 and I still read to him at night before bed. Sometimes once I get him started on a story, he will want to finish it himself. Or sometimes I just keep reading it aloud to him because I get into the story and want to see what happens next too.

It's hard not to take offense when you try to do something nice for your kids and they don't appreciate it. But you know AS kids like their routine and I'm sure reading old books is comforting to him, since he knows what will happen. But maybe you can find a way to get him interested in the new book too. How about watching the Inkheart movie?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Suzanne

suzmarkwood@...

From: Mike N <mikejn1@...>Subject: ( ) Well, I thought I would be nice..... Date: Monday, April 5, 2010, 4:57 PM

I was away for a few weeks visiting my brother. As a nice gesture and to say " I missed you" to my son. I bought him some new books. This way maybe he could retire the ones he has been reading over and over a million times.So I presented him with the books on Saturday. Inkheart and another book. Both are fantasy, which he enjoys reading.. I just find it disappointing and discouraging that he has not even cracked them open to look at them..Am I expecting too much? Why does he want to re-read books over and over and not want to start on something fresh. We talked about reading them and he says he "forgot" about them.. I am not sure what to think?Does anyone have any input or ideas?Thanks

[Guest guest]

Oh Mike, I'm sorry that happened. I don't have any advice for you though...my dd starts reading a new book in the car on the way home from the store From: mikejn1@...Date: Mon, 5 Apr 2010 23:57:46 +0000Subject: ( ) Well, I thought I would be nice.....

I was away for a few weeks visiting my brother. As a nice gesture and to say " I missed you" to my son. I bought him some new books. This way maybe he could retire the ones he has been reading over and over a million times.

So I presented him with the books on Saturday. Inkheart and another book. Both are fantasy, which he enjoys reading.. I just find it disappointing and discouraging that he has not even cracked them open to look at them..

Am I expecting too much? Why does he want to re-read books over and over and not want to start on something fresh. We talked about reading them and he says he "forgot" about them.. I am not sure what to think?

Does anyone have any input or ideas?

Thanks

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[Guest guest]

Well, I know I've put off reading new books just because if I like them I can't

put them down, stay up late reading, etc., etc. So I read a lot of my same ones

over. And actually have a few books I haven't read, some of them given to me.

And, yeah, I've bought books to read and still not read some of those I've

already got. Can't say why.

When's the last time he read a new book?

Sometimes, too, it's comforting to go back and read your favorites again (and

again & again...). He may just be into that particular story type (or time

period) and not interested in moving on?

I like the fantasy type too. Loved the movie Inkheart, one of my favorite

movies, so sure I'd like the book since books are usually so much better than

movies. Has he read Eragon or any in that series?

As someone said, maybe you could begin by reading to him. And then maybe he'll

keep on with it himself, unless you also get into the story (I've done that too,

reading to my sons, so have to either keep reading or get book back when they're

done).

I know with any of my sons (one OCD/Aspie, 2 others typical) they wouldn't have

necessarily read a book I gave them either. Actually I got my oldest some for

Christmas a year ago, was sure he'd like them, he hasn't read them yet last time

I asked but has read some other books. I'm about ready to ask to borrow a

couple of them that I thought I'd like to read too. And one of those books I

received for a gift years ago and is upstairs and I haven't read -- was a gift

to me from him, LOL. Sigh, I really should read it!

>

> I was away for a few weeks visiting my brother. As a nice gesture and to say "

I missed you " to my son. I bought him some new books. This way maybe he could

retire the ones he has been reading over and over a million times.

>

[Guest guest]

My DD is the same with films. No matter what the recommendation it comes with, if I buy it for her she will not watch it until someone else announce they are going to watch it, would she like to join them (ie not me!!). We have had this happen twice in the last couple of weeks, and both films were ones she found she loved once she had seen them and has now watched multiple times. Why do they do this - who knows... but it does seem to be something of a trait in them. In the case of the above films, she had had them for well over 3 months and had had them suggested as worth watching before on multiple occasions. It can be a little frustrating...

a

From:

Sent: Tuesday, April 06, 2010 11:41 PM

Subject: ( ) Re: Well, I thought I would be nice.....

Well, I know I've put off reading new books just because if I like them I can't put them down, stay up late reading, etc., etc. So I read a lot of my same ones over. And actually have a few books I haven't read, some of them given to me. And, yeah, I've bought books to read and still not read some of those I've already got. Can't say why. When's the last time he read a new book? Sometimes, too, it's comforting to go back and read your favorites again (and again & again...). He may just be into that particular story type (or time period) and not interested in moving on? I like the fantasy type too. Loved the movie Inkheart, one of my favorite movies, so sure I'd like the book since books are usually so much better than movies. Has he read Eragon or any in that series? As someone said, maybe you could begin by reading to him. And then maybe he'll keep on with it himself, unless you also get into the story (I've done that too, reading to my sons, so have to either keep reading or get book back when they're done). I know with any of my sons (one OCD/Aspie, 2 others typical) they wouldn't have necessarily read a book I gave them either. Actually I got my oldest some for Christmas a year ago, was sure he'd like them, he hasn't read them yet last time I asked but has read some other books. I'm about ready to ask to borrow a couple of them that I thought I'd like to read too. And one of those books I received for a gift years ago and is upstairs and I haven't read -- was a gift to me from him, LOL. Sigh, I really should read it!>> I was away for a few weeks visiting my brother. As a nice gesture and to say " I missed you" to my son. I bought him some new books. This way maybe he could retire the ones he has been reading over and over a million times.>

[Guest guest]

You can remove his other books forcing him to read yours if he wants to read

anything....

You can bribe him with seeing the movie if he reads the book.....

You can read a chapter outloud to him while together.....

As far as why he re-reads - these kids like a static world. Once he has read a

book, he knows the entirety of it, and there are no surprises for him. The

books he is reading over and over are probably ones that follow a plot line that

makes sense to him.

My son is nearly 12 and is reading Lord of the Flies. He is completely

perplexed at the behaviors of the characters. I doubt he'll ever pick this one

up to re-read it.

So, one thing you might do is read a summary of the book so that he knows the

plot line and ending going into it.

>

> I was away for a few weeks visiting my brother. As a nice gesture and to say "

I missed you " to my son. I bought him some new books. This way maybe he could

retire the ones he has been reading over and over a million times.

>

> So I presented him with the books on Saturday. Inkheart and another book. Both

are fantasy, which he enjoys reading.. I just find it disappointing and

discouraging that he has not even cracked them open to look at them..

>

> Am I expecting too much? Why does he want to re-read books over and over and

not want to start on something fresh. We talked about reading them and he says

he " forgot " about them.. I am not sure what to think?

>

> Does anyone have any input or ideas?

>

> Thanks

>

[Guest guest]

I totally understand that you want him to appreciate the new books you got for him and that you'd like him to broaden his "horizon"......but as a mom with a son like yours as far as reading and a son who won't read a darned sentence outside of school even if he was paid,,,,this could be a lot worse. He'll move on to other things to read someday. Hey...at least he's reading?

Have a super day.

It really is simple. Just treat others kindly and with respect.

Robin

From: laura6307 <laura6307@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Well, I thought I would be nice..... Date: Wednesday, April 7, 2010, 7:10 AM

You can remove his other books forcing him to read yours if he wants to read anything....You can bribe him with seeing the movie if he reads the book.....You can read a chapter outloud to him while together.... .As far as why he re-reads - these kids like a static world. Once he has read a book, he knows the entirety of it, and there are no surprises for him. The books he is reading over and over are probably ones that follow a plot line that makes sense to him.My son is nearly 12 and is reading Lord of the Flies. He is completely perplexed at the behaviors of the characters. I doubt he'll ever pick this one up to re-read it.So, one thing you might do is read a summary of the book so that he knows the plot line and ending going into it. >> I was away for a few weeks visiting my brother. As a nice gesture and to say " I missed you" to my son. I bought him some new books. This way maybe he could retire the ones he has been reading over and over a million times.> > So I presented him with the books on Saturday. Inkheart and another book. Both are fantasy, which he enjoys reading.. I just find it disappointing and discouraging that he has not even cracked them open to look at them..> > Am I expecting too much? Why does he want to re-read books over and over and not want to start on something fresh. We talked about reading them and he says he "forgot" about them.. I am not sure what to think?> > Does anyone have any input or ideas?> >

Thanks>

[Guest guest]

It really surprised me to hear a parent react this way ...

I've learned not to take personally anything my aspie son does ...

He does this sort of thing all the time...I am always looking for a book to take

him away from the Wimpy Kid books - which is about all he'll read right now....

Well, that - -and his almanac. I was happy he was reading fiction... Those

books are all dog eared and in some cases - missing their covers or parts of

them.

>

> I was away for a few weeks visiting my brother. As a nice gesture and to say "

I missed you " to my son. I bought him some new books. This way maybe he could

retire the ones he has been reading over and over a million times.

>

> So I presented him with the books on Saturday. Inkheart and another book. Both

are fantasy, which he enjoys reading.. I just find it disappointing and

discouraging that he has not even cracked them open to look at them..

>

> Am I expecting too much? Why does he want to re-read books over and over and

not want to start on something fresh. We talked about reading them and he says

he " forgot " about them.. I am not sure what to think?

>

> Does anyone have any input or ideas?

>

> Thanks

>

[Guest guest]

I know it's frustrating, but I don't think Asperger's is the the the only reason for your disconnect with your son. I'm sure lots of dads of "normal" teenagers can't relate to what their kids like to do. Isn't that kind of expected?

When we were talking about the Parenthood show where the boy is diagnosed with Aspergers, the psychiatrist gave the dad advice of "Go to where he is," and I think that's good advice for any parent. Get interested in what your kid is, ask questions, maybe you will find some common ground. But even if not, your child will appreciate the attention.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Suzanne

suzmarkwood@...

From: Notarnicola <mikejn1@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Well, I thought I would be nice.....suzmarkwood@...Date: Tuesday, April 6, 2010, 9:56 AM

Hi,I came into my son's life when he was 5, he is now 14.. I know my wife read to him when he was younger. I am just having a hard time understanding why he does the things he does. Why does he not have an interest in the things that a 14 yr old should be interested in. When I was his age, I was into cars, taking stuff apart to see how it worked and trying to put it back together. I was thirsty for things to get my hands on and take apart and "fix"/ He has none of those interests. His life consists of getting up in the am, going to school, coming home, doing homework if he has any then he either plays video games or watches cartoons. Most of his time is spent reading though. As you know he reads the same books over and over.I am sorry to ramble, I am just frustrated and puzzled...Mike

[Guest guest]

Hey, my " non-Aspie " son has blown off books I've given him as well, so try not

to take it personally. I'm sure your son appreciates that you were thinking of

him, even if he isn't reaching for those particular books at the moment.

> >

> > I was away for a few weeks visiting my brother. As a nice gesture and to say

" I missed you " to my son. I bought him some new books. This way maybe he could

retire the ones he has been reading over and over a million times.

> >

> > So I presented him with the books on Saturday. Inkheart and another book.

Both are fantasy, which he enjoys reading.. I just find it disappointing and

discouraging that he has not even cracked them open to look at them..

> >

> > Am I expecting too much? Why does he want to re-read books over and over and

not want to start on something fresh. We talked about reading them and he says

he " forgot " about them.. I am not sure what to think?

> >

> > Does anyone have any input or ideas?

> >

> > Thanks

> >

>

[Guest guest]

This often happens with my son and it does hurt my feelings. But it isn't just

the things I give him. It's any kind of present that didn't fit into his laser

like interests at the time. His room is full of gifts never taken out of the

box, DVDs that aren't opened, books that haven't been read, even goody bags from

parties. Don't get me started on the new clothes that have never been worn

because they aren't black or white or red (my son's current favorite colors). So

it isn't just you. It's much easier to give gifts to his sisters who will

immediately let me know that they like it or would like to exchange it for

something else.

[Guest guest]

>

> As far as why he re-reads - these kids like a static world. Once he has read

a book, he knows the entirety of it, and there are no surprises for him. The

books he is reading over and over are probably ones that follow a plot line that

makes sense to him.

> >

---

Wow, , I didn't think of it that way, but it totally makes sense in my

daughter's case.

Regarding gifts, it was really helpful when my daughter (age 5, probably AS)

asked me one day why she can't pick out her own gifts. All along I just thought

she just didn't like the gifts themselves, but now I think it's the surprise...

>

> >

> > I was away for a few weeks visiting my brother. As a nice gesture and to say

" I missed you " to my son. I bought him some new books. This way maybe he could

retire the ones he has been reading over and over a million times.

> >

> > So I presented him with the books on Saturday. Inkheart and another book.

Both are fantasy, which he enjoys reading.. I just find it disappointing and

discouraging that he has not even cracked them open to look at them..

> >

> > Am I expecting too much? Why does he want to re-read books over and over and

not want to start on something fresh. We talked about reading them and he says

he " forgot " about them.. I am not sure what to think?

> >

> > Does anyone have any input or ideas?

> >

> > Thanks

> >

>

[Guest guest]

My son HATES surprises. He would rather know what he is getting for gifts...it caused many breakdowns at school and at birthday parties. He always seems disappointed with Christmas too but it's not that he doesn't like the gifts, it's the surprise aspect.From: debbie9206473 <Debra.Logan@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Well, I thought I would be nice..... Date: Wednesday, April 7, 2010, 12:47 PM

>

> As far as why he re-reads - these kids like a static world. Once he has read a book, he knows the entirety of it, and there are no surprises for him. The books he is reading over and over are probably ones that follow a plot line that makes sense to him.

> >

---

Wow, , I didn't think of it that way, but it totally makes sense in my daughter's case.

Regarding gifts, it was really helpful when my daughter (age 5, probably AS) asked me one day why she can't pick out her own gifts. All along I just thought she just didn't like the gifts themselves, but now I think it's the surprise...

>

> >

> > I was away for a few weeks visiting my brother. As a nice gesture and to say " I missed you" to my son. I bought him some new books. This way maybe he could retire the ones he has been reading over and over a million times.

> >

> > So I presented him with the books on Saturday. Inkheart and another book. Both are fantasy, which he enjoys reading.. I just find it disappointing and discouraging that he has not even cracked them open to look at them..

> >

> > Am I expecting too much? Why does he want to re-read books over and over and not want to start on something fresh. We talked about reading them and he says he "forgot" about them.. I am not sure what to think?

> >

> > Does anyone have any input or ideas?

> >

> > Thanks

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Isn't inkheart a movie? I think we rented it or went to see it. Maybe

get the video and watch it with him. Then the book might interest him.

Books can be a personal thing. Some people will read anything that

looks interesting. Other people are much pickier! (ME!)

You might read the books yourself and then interest him by discussing

parts of it. Or read it with him and watch his interest grow in the

story.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) Well, I thought I would be nice.....

I was away for a few weeks visiting my brother. As a nice gesture and

to say " I missed you " to my son. I bought him some new books. This way

maybe he could retire the ones he has been reading over and over a

million times.

So I presented him with the books on Saturday. Inkheart and another

book. Both are fantasy, which he enjoys reading.. I just find it

disappointing and discouraging that he has not even cracked them open

to look at them..

Am I expecting too much? Why does he want to re-read books over and

over and not want to start on something fresh. We talked about reading

them and he says he " forgot " about them.. I am not sure what to think?

Does anyone have any input or ideas?

Thanks

[Guest guest]

lol, I just replied and said everything you already said.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) Well, I thought I would be nice.....

Date: Monday, April 5, 2010, 4:57 PM

 

I was away for a few weeks visiting my brother. As a nice gesture and

to say " I missed you " to my son. I bought him some new books. This way

maybe he could retire the ones he has been reading over and over a

million times.

So I presented him with the books on Saturday. Inkheart and another

book. Both are fantasy, which he enjoys reading.. I just find it

disappointing and discouraging that he has not even cracked them open

to look at them..

Am I expecting too much? Why does he want to re-read books over and

over and not want to start on something fresh. We talked about reading

them and he says he " forgot " about them.. I am not sure what to think?

Does anyone have any input or ideas?

Thanks

[Guest guest]

Hi, I had to respond to what you said, my son is exactly the same. He always wants to know what he is getting for christmas and birthdays. He gets so dissapointed when he gets something that is a surprise. We try to let family members know what to get him in advanced, but if he gets something different we have him not open packages so we can exchange it. It is all a good understanding. He is getting old enough to start getting a little allowance to get prizes on his own. I did not say is an aspie.

From: debbie9206473 <Debra.Logan@ cox.net>Subject: ( ) Re: Well, I thought I would be nice..... Date: Wednesday, April 7, 2010, 12:47 PM

> > As far as why he re-reads - these kids like a static world. Once he has read a book, he knows the entirety of it, and there are no surprises for him. The books he is reading over and over are probably ones that follow a plot line that makes sense to him.> > ---Wow, , I didn't think of it that way, but it totally makes sense in my daughter's case. Regarding gifts, it was really helpful when my daughter (age 5, probably AS) asked me one day why she can't pick out her own gifts. All along I just thought she just didn't like the gifts themselves, but now I think it's the surprise... > > >> > I was away for a few weeks visiting my brother. As a nice gesture and to say " I missed you" to my son. I bought him some new books. This way maybe he could retire the ones he has been reading over

and over a million times.> > > > So I presented him with the books on Saturday. Inkheart and another book. Both are fantasy, which he enjoys reading.. I just find it disappointing and discouraging that he has not even cracked them open to look at them..> > > > Am I expecting too much? Why does he want to re-read books over and over and not want to start on something fresh. We talked about reading them and he says he "forgot" about them.. I am not sure what to think?> > > > Does anyone have any input or ideas?> > > > Thanks> >>

[Guest guest]

Hi,

To make you feel better, my aspie girl never has said thank you to me and do not ever realize the nice things I do for her. She does not realize what appreciation is, but I know that she loves me, even if she never have told me she loves me...

Now that she is eleven, she finally got a friend who is very polite and kind and always says thank you. Now my aspie girl is learning to say thank you by imitating that girl.

Manners and kindness are important to me.

Reading a book to my girl never worked out for me because I always ended up falling sleep in the middle of the reading and waking up next morning. Working full time and taking care of her by myself cause my body to crash from exhaustion....

Then I got the idea of having her to read a book to me before bed (it works better than sleeping pills), she did it at the beguining, but got sick of it...LOL

( ) Well, I thought I would be nice.....I was away for a few weeks visiting my brother. As a nice gesture and to say " I missed you" to my son. I bought him some new books. This way maybe he could retire the ones he has been reading over and over a million times.So I presented him with the books on Saturday. Inkheart and another book. Both are fantasy, which he enjoys reading.. I just find it disappointing and discouraging that he has not even cracked them open to look at them..Am I expecting too much? Why does he want to re-read books over and over and not want to start on something fresh. We talked about reading them and he says he "forgot" about them.. I am not sure what to think?Does anyone have any input or ideas?Thanks

[Guest guest]

Hi Mike, think of it this way. I'm sure you have a favorite movie. I've

watched Jaws more times than I can count because I really enjoyed it and if it's

on cable when I'm channel hopping I'll always gravitate back to it if there's

nothing else on. It's dependable. It's always going to give me the same thrill

even though I've watched it dozens of times.

That's the same thing with books. He knows he's going to enjoy it as much as

the first time. It's a good story and it's predictable. We have tons of books

in our house for my son but he always stands by his favorites while the others

collect dust.

I don't mind. I just try to be aware of what his interests are and find a book

that might match it. Then I have a better chance of him reading it or possibly

expanding his interest in another direction.

--Dawn

>

> I was away for a few weeks visiting my brother. As a nice gesture and to say "

I missed you " to my son. I bought him some new books. This way maybe he could

retire the ones he has been reading over and over a million times.

>

> So I presented him with the books on Saturday. Inkheart and another book. Both

are fantasy, which he enjoys reading.. I just find it disappointing and

discouraging that he has not even cracked them open to look at them..

>

> Am I expecting too much? Why does he want to re-read books over and over and

not want to start on something fresh. We talked about reading them and he says

he " forgot " about them.. I am not sure what to think?

>

> Does anyone have any input or ideas?

>

> Thanks

>