Guest guest Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 Remember, he is not a mature 13 year old, he is an immature 13 year old. So, it isn't as if he has 5 years more of social development. He probably has another 10 years of maturing ahead. These kids often get a lot better as they get older, but many not until their early 20's. Didn't someone quote the 2/3's rule. 2/3's of 13, and that is where he is at emotionally. The noises, the silliness. Not a mature 13, but yes an immature 13. So, as long as he "grows up" some day and the noises and silliness stop and he can "fake it" enough to get by as an adult, it will all be OK.... ( ) great.... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits"....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,,,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect". He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded".....or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness",,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he's now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking.......wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things.......wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 Hi, don't know if this would help but while riding a packed, 2nd ave bus in NYC during rush hour. I was in the back of this noisy bus packed with people. it was so packed no one else can get on. there were people standing in the middle row and one guy - grown man was making loud sounds and yelling out things that was inappropriate. He was moving his head and arms while yelling. the whole bus got quiet and all eyes were on him. giving him those nasty looks... people started to get angry with him because of the way he was acting and being so loud. He managed to yell out - HEY - I HAVE TOURETTES!!!!!. Everyone on the bus knew what turrets was and all continued to talk and take their eyes off of him. after that when he got on the bus again the next day and day after etc... and started making sounds - people just ignored him and continued as if he didn't say anything. I guess my point is - maybe if you were to go to the school and explain to the kids what tourettes is - and how your son can't help it and how hard it is for him too. (educate them) maybe they will be a little more understanding. It would also help if their parents taught those ignorant kids some manners. *smile*..... Hugs to you and your son Rose From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...>Aspergers Treatment Sent: Sunday, September 27, 2009 8:29:44 PMSubject: ( ) great.... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits" ....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect" . He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded"... ..or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness" ,,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... ....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 Never stop advocating for your son, his diversity requires as much respect and understanding as anyone else's child. From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...>Aspergers Treatment Sent: Sunday, September 27, 2009 6:29:44 PMSubject: ( ) great..... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits" .....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect" . He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded"... ...or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness" ,,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13.. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made...... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... .....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 Thanks, Debra. I just get so sad at the thought that he's, again, not fitting. Ugh. My instint is to say, Screw it, and yank him out again. I just need to chat with them,,,,,wasn't able to this morning. I did send an email basically saying what I said on this post........so we'll see. I feel so bad for him. From: Debra Balke <dlbalke@...>Subject: Re: ( ) great.... Date: Monday, September 28, 2009, 8:20 AM Remember, he is not a mature 13 year old, he is an immature 13 year old. So, it isn't as if he has 5 years more of social development. He probably has another 10 years of maturing ahead. These kids often get a lot better as they get older, but many not until their early 20's. Didn't someone quote the 2/3's rule. 2/3's of 13, and that is where he is at emotionally. The noises, the silliness. Not a mature 13, but yes an immature 13. So, as long as he "grows up" some day and the noises and silliness stop and he can "fake it" enough to get by as an adult, it will all be OK.... ( ) great..... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits" ....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect" . He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded"... ..or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness" ,,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... ....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 Thanks, Rose. I'm going to talk to the teachers about letting the rest of the class "in" on Ian when I go in. The problem is this,,,,,,,yes, he makes noises occasionally. BUT,,,,he's also goofy and makes them intentionallyl, too. So,,,,sadly, he's getting told to "knock it off" (in not nice ways), when he makes the intentional and unintentional noiises. I feel like my first step is getting him to stop the intentional noises....but he says he gets so bored, that he can't stop and then apologizes constantly at school for it. That's a part of his OCD. Or he does the intentional noises when they say things to him to make him stop. TOTAL IMMATURITY (that part). Anyway,,,thanks so much. From: Rose <beachbodytan2002@...>Subject: Re: ( ) great.... Date: Monday, September 28, 2009, 3:22 PM Hi, don't know if this would help but while riding a packed, 2nd ave bus in NYC during rush hour. I was in the back of this noisy bus packed with people. it was so packed no one else can get on. there were people standing in the middle row and one guy - grown man was making loud sounds and yelling out things that was inappropriate. He was moving his head and arms while yelling. the whole bus got quiet and all eyes were on him. giving him those nasty looks... people started to get angry with him because of the way he was acting and being so loud. He managed to yell out - HEY - I HAVE TOURETTES!!! !!. Everyone on the bus knew what turrets was and all continued to talk and take their eyes off of him. after that when he got on the bus again the next day and day after etc... and started making sounds - people just ignored him and continued as if he didn't say anything. I guess my point is - maybe if you were to go to the school and explain to the kids what tourettes is - and how your son can't help it and how hard it is for him too. (educate them) maybe they will be a little more understanding. It would also help if their parents taught those ignorant kids some manners. *smile*..... Hugs to you and your son Rose From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs (DOT) com>Aspergers TreatmentSent: Sunday, September 27, 2009 8:29:44 PMSubject: ( ) great..... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits" ....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect" . He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded"... ..or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness" ,,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... ....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 Robin,,,, What about regular school??? I understand what you are saying...he is no longer a child but he isn't doing well in the Parochial school. What about 1/2 day in a regular school and 1/2 day at home...ease his way in....would that be possible. I loved how you put it ..." he doesn't have the socialbility to hide his nautiness"...what a perfect line. I always fumbled with that when I tried to explain it...it is the reason our children get in more trouble or are looked upon as trouble makers....this has happened to my son. Now, I think maybe you should take him out of that school...they don't seem to understand him....and the kids are only making it worse for him. I would hate to see him regress. In a public school, you could have safe guards put up for him ....why should he be punished or get demerits for some behaviors he can not help....and shouldn't they try to use positive enforcement...rather than negative. It is so horrible...I hate kids some days...they can be so cruel to our children. I will never forget what one mother said to me....her son had down syndrome and she said "she would rather have a child with down syndrome than one with AS". Wow! The kids in our school are so kind and sweet to the children with disabilities they can see but not to our children as they appear "normal"...but in reality their brains function a different way. I will be thinking of you and your son and praying that things work out! Keep me posted. jan Janice Rushen "I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope" From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...>Subject: ( ) great....Aspergers Treatment Date: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 8:29 PM Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits" ....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect" . He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded"... ..or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness" ,,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... ....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 Rose...that was brillant...just brillant....I loved what you said and you are RIGHT!!!! The kids in school don't make fun of the down syndrome kids because they know what it is ...I think you are right...the students should be told ...have tourette's, AS and other things explained...and then be told how disrespectful they are. I think it also bothers me becuase even though they are kids and kids will be kids...they are in a Parochial School and should be More tolerant. I gave a speech in the Careers Class...the students have to bring someone in and have them speak about their careers and education. I was asked by a student ...so I did. I spoke about my education, my jobs and how I finally ended up a Paraprofessional. How I loved working with the kids...and then I went on to explain my son and how we as humans, students and teachers, need to learn about people who are different than them. That we need to be tolerant. And, that hopefully, if they one day come across a student who is different that they do not tease that person or make fun of them. I ended by telling them we need to help each other and look out for each other. I think I struck a cord ....the kids were all quiet and then asked me about AS. I explained and I was glad I was to speak and would do it again. Jan Janice Rushen "I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope" From: Rose <beachbodytan2002@...>Subject: Re: ( ) great.... Date: Monday, September 28, 2009, 4:22 PM Hi, don't know if this would help but while riding a packed, 2nd ave bus in NYC during rush hour. I was in the back of this noisy bus packed with people. it was so packed no one else can get on. there were people standing in the middle row and one guy - grown man was making loud sounds and yelling out things that was inappropriate. He was moving his head and arms while yelling. the whole bus got quiet and all eyes were on him. giving him those nasty looks... people started to get angry with him because of the way he was acting and being so loud. He managed to yell out - HEY - I HAVE TOURETTES!!! !!. Everyone on the bus knew what turrets was and all continued to talk and take their eyes off of him. after that when he got on the bus again the next day and day after etc... and started making sounds - people just ignored him and continued as if he didn't say anything. I guess my point is - maybe if you were to go to the school and explain to the kids what tourettes is - and how your son can't help it and how hard it is for him too. (educate them) maybe they will be a little more understanding. It would also help if their parents taught those ignorant kids some manners. *smile*..... Hugs to you and your son Rose From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs (DOT) com>Aspergers TreatmentSent: Sunday, September 27, 2009 8:29:44 PMSubject: ( ) great.... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits" ....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect" . He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded"... ..or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness" ,,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... ....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 Thanks, . From: Murrel <mommio55@...>Subject: Re: ( ) great.... Date: Monday, September 28, 2009, 3:38 PM Never stop advocating for your son, his diversity requires as much respect and understanding as anyone else's child. From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs (DOT) com>Aspergers TreatmentSent: Sunday, September 27, 2009 6:29:44 PMSubject: ( ) great..... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits" .....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect" . He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded"... ...or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness" ,,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13.. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made...... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... .....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 Or consider whether the public school is really providing FAPE. Then place at private and file DP. Very Truly YoursTodd B. KotlerAttorney and Counselor at Law330-777-0065 Phone-Fax-VoicemailSent via BlackBerry by AT&T. Please excuse any terseness or misspellings. (Those who know me already expect both) This e-mail contains information intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above and may be protected by attorney-client privilege. However, the mere receipt of this e-mail, alone, is not sufficient to create an attorney-client relationship. If the reader of this e-mail is not the intended recipient or the employee or agent responsible for delivering it to the intended recipient, any dissemination, publication or copying of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. The sender does not accept any responsibility for any loss, disruption or damage to your data or computer system that may occur while using data contained in, or transmitted with, this e-mail. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately notify us by return e-mail. Thank youFrom: " Elgamal" Date: Mon, 28 Sep 2009 20:34:43 -0500< >Subject: RE: ( ) great.... Robin – Are there any private schools in your area that are geared towards kids with Aspergers or ADHD? We moved my son from public school to a private school that specialized in these kiddos for his last two years of high school. Actually, he should have been a senior when we moved him but we felt he needed an extra year to regain his self-esteem as well as get the educational support from a specialized school. It was one of the best things we ever did for Tyler. I do realize that we are very blessed and there are many people who don’t have the financial resources to do this. Just thought I would throw this out. From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of and/or Robin LemkeSent: Sunday, September 27, 2009 7:30 PMAspergers Treatment Subject: ( ) great.... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to " go back to school " for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken.... " demerits " ....but " bugging " people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,,,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is " called " on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered " disrespect " . He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more " at ease " , I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, " knock it off " or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, " You're so retarded " .....or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the " social " ability to hide his " naughtiness " ,,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he's now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking.......wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things.......wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 Todd – I think Robin’s son is in a parochial school, not public. From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Todd Kotler Sent: Monday, September 28, 2009 8:42 PM groups (DOT) com Subject: Re: ( ) great.... Or consider whether the public school is really providing FAPE. Then place at private and file DP. Very Truly Yours Todd B. Kotler Attorney and Counselor at Law 330-777-0065 Phone-Fax-Voicemail Sent via BlackBerry by AT & T. Please excuse any terseness or misspellings. (Those who know me already expect both) This e-mail contains information intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above and may be protected by attorney-client privilege. However, the mere receipt of this e-mail, alone, is not sufficient to create an attorney-client relationship. If the reader of this e-mail is not the intended recipient or the employee or agent responsible for delivering it to the intended recipient, any dissemination, publication or copying of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. The sender does not accept any responsibility for any loss, disruption or damage to your data or computer system that may occur while using data contained in, or transmitted with, this e-mail. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately notify us by return e-mail. Thank you From: " Elgamal " Date: Mon, 28 Sep 2009 20:34:43 -0500 < > Subject: RE: ( ) great.... Robin – Are there any private schools in your area that are geared towards kids with Aspergers or ADHD? We moved my son from public school to a private school that specialized in these kiddos for his last two years of high school. Actually, he should have been a senior when we moved him but we felt he needed an extr! a year t o regain his self-esteem as well as get the educational support from a specialized school. It was one of the best things we ever did for Tyler. I do realize that we are very blessed and there are many people who don’t have the financial resources to do this. Just thought I would throw this out. From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of and/or Robin Lemke Sent: Sunday, September 27, 2009 7:30 PM Aspergers Treatment Subject: ( ) great.... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to " go back to school " for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of e! nforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken.... " demerits " ....but " bugging " people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,,,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is " called " on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered " disrespect " . He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more " at ease " , I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, " knock it off " or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, " You're so retarded " .....or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the " social " ability to hide his " naughtiness " ,,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'! m not ca lling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he's now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking.......wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things.......wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 Thanks, Jan. You liked that, huh, the part of not socially "getting" it to get away with being naughty. Hell, my son will be all goofy and silly and "think" he's being funny, yet when he's caught or even looked at, will say, "I'm soooo sorry".......... I remember a teacher telling me that, no, you don't want your kids to lie,,,,,but it IS a skill. Most of us just "know" how to fib or "get around" something........without making a big deal out of everything. My son simply can't. I don't think many of our kids can. Public school. Well,,,,,that's a hard one. We were in a public school. He had the "legal" backing...sure.......he had the understanding of teachers. Yep. But,,,,,,,,,,,he was "aware-enough" to see that socially, he was "out of the loop". It crushed him. It made him angry......sad.............he started seeing that the friends that he DID have, were leaving. He also saw that they weren't coming around as much and only stayed at our house if something really "fun" was going on. That's where public school failed.......They wouldn't make the others be nice........(he left after 5th grade).............they would let him stand outside near the door alone.....and then write in his IEP, about how he didn't' want to fit or play with others. It wasn't that he didn't want to (at first),,,,,he just didn't know how and the fricken aides didn't help him or make others accept him. Like you said, and I said, and that lady with the child with Downs said.........if they were worse off, then they'd get instant understanding cause they'd look "disabled". Our kids just act weird and naughty and odd,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and then freak when they realize that what they are trying to do, doesn't' work. What a horrible thing for them. I'm so pissed, Jan. I don't know what to do. Do I keep him in a smaller setting where I can monitor it all more? Where I can hope to continue to talk to the school and the couple of teachers and in time, get a handle on this and hope the smaller setting works? Where the kids that are saying mean things, can hopefully be "reeled in" and be corrected? Or...... Do I put him back in public school where sure, they recognize his AS, OCD, ADHD,,,,,,but as far as kids go,,,,,,,there is no real watching. A part of this is good, though. There is no recess in 8th grade.........so that's good. I just fear him getting sad and depressed. I would rather have him back home and happy....and not worrying if he's gonna get so depressed that he'd, like you stated in an earlier post last week, try to kill himself.. Especially when I know how wonderful it was for him when he was home. I try to tell myself, that if he were to come home for school, we'd perhaps get with Job Corps or Vocational Rehab in time and go to school for a computer job. That's what he loves. And,,,,I think he'd be good at it. I've forgotten what I was talking about....he he. *********** The 1/2 day thing. How does that work? So,,,,,whatever 1/2 we'd choose, then, we'd do the other subjects here? Tell me more. Thanks for thinking of us...and praying too. I've been thinking of you and your son, too..... whether I email back to your posts or not. Sometimes, I want to email back soooo bad, but it hits so close to home...that I just can't. Hugs. Robin From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) great....Aspergers TreatmentDate: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 8:29 PM Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits" ....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect" . He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded"... ..or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness" ,,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... ....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 That's fricken awesome.... I think I'm gonna ask to come in and chat to the class. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. From: Rose <beachbodytan2002>Subject: Re: ( ) great.... Date: Monday, September 28, 2009, 4:22 PM Hi, don't know if this would help but while riding a packed, 2nd ave bus in NYC during rush hour. I was in the back of this noisy bus packed with people. it was so packed no one else can get on. there were people standing in the middle row and one guy - grown man was making loud sounds and yelling out things that was inappropriate. He was moving his head and arms while yelling. the whole bus got quiet and all eyes were on him. giving him those nasty looks... people started to get angry with him because of the way he was acting and being so loud. He managed to yell out - HEY - I HAVE TOURETTES!!! !!. Everyone on the bus knew what turrets was and all continued to talk and take their eyes off of him. after that when he got on the bus again the next day and day after etc... and started making sounds - people just ignored him and continued as if he didn't say anything. I guess my point is - maybe if you were to go to the school and explain to the kids what tourettes is - and how your son can't help it and how hard it is for him too. (educate them) maybe they will be a little more understanding. It would also help if their parents taught those ignorant kids some manners. *smile*..... Hugs to you and your son Rose From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs (DOT) com>Aspergers TreatmentSent: Sunday, September 27, 2009 8:29:44 PMSubject: ( ) great..... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits" ....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect" . He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded"... ..or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness" ,,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... ....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 Hi , Thanks for your words. So,,,,did your son go to pub school the whole time? Tell a little, if you don't mind. What's he doing now? From: Elgamal <cindyelgamal@...>Subject: RE: ( ) great.... Date: Monday, September 28, 2009, 8:15 PM I don’t remember it being called the “2/3 rule†but I think it is Tony Attwood that talks about the fact that Aspie’s are emotionally/ socially about 2/3 of their biological age. So, a 12 year old is emotionally and socially about 8. I do think this is very accurate for many Aspie’s especially until they get into their late teens when they seem to start closing the gap a little faster. My son is 19+ now and, while he is not close to being emotionally or socially 19, I have noticed an accelerated rate of social/emotional growth in the last couple of years. Robin – I really feel for you. The teen years are so hard on our kids. This seems to be a time that many who were very happy as loners before now want to be accepted by their peers and they just don’t know how. And, like you said, they haven’t learned how to not get caught like the other kids have. From: [mailto:AspergersSu pport@group s.com] On Behalf Of Debra BalkeSent: Monday, September 28, 2009 8:21 AM Subject: Re: ( ) great.... Remember, he is not a mature 13 year old, he is an immature 13 year old. So, it isn't as if he has 5 years more of social development. He probably has another 10 years of maturing ahead. These kids often get a lot better as they get older, but many not until their early 20's. Didn't someone quote the 2/3's rule. 2/3's of 13, and that is where he is at emotionally. The noises, the silliness. Not a mature 13, but yes an immature 13. So, as long as he "grows up" some day and the noises and silliness stop and he can "fake it" enough to get by as an adult, it will all be OK.... ( ) great.... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits"....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect". He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded".....or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness",,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... ....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 Thanks, . I'm gonna check it out. I don't think there is, but my golly, it sure would be wonderful. From: Elgamal <cindyelgamal@...>Subject: RE: ( ) great.... Date: Monday, September 28, 2009, 8:34 PM Robin – Are there any private schools in your area that are geared towards kids with Aspergers or ADHD? We moved my son from public school to a private school that specialized in these kiddos for his last two years of high school. Actually, he should have been a senior when we moved him but we felt he needed an extra year to regain his self-esteem as well as get the educational support from a specialized school. It was one of the best things we ever did for Tyler. I do realize that we are very blessed and there are many people who don’t have the financial resources to do this. Just thought I would throw this out. From: [mailto:AspergersSu pport@group s.com] On Behalf Of and/or Robin LemkeSent: Sunday, September 27, 2009 7:30 PMAspergers TreatmentSubject: ( ) great.... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits"....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect". He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded".....or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness",,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... ....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 Hi Todd. I feel they were providing FAPE, yes. It was the emotional part that crushed my son. There were no laws that kept him feeling good. What is DP? From: Todd Kotler <TBKotler@...>Subject: Re: ( ) great...." groups (DOT) . com" < >Date: Monday, September 28, 2009, 8:41 PM Or consider whether the public school is really providing FAPE. Then place at private and file DP. Very Truly YoursTodd B. KotlerAttorney and Counselor at Law330-777-0065 Phone-Fax-VoicemailSent via BlackBerry by AT & T. Please excuse any terseness or misspellings. (Those who know me already expect both) This e-mail contains information intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above and may be protected by attorney-client privilege. However, the mere receipt of this e-mail, alone, is not sufficient to create an attorney-client relationship. If the reader of this e-mail is not the intended recipient or the employee or agent responsible for delivering it to the intended recipient, any dissemination, publication or copying of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. The sender does not accept any responsibility for any loss, disruption or damage to your data or computer system that may occur while using data contained in, or transmitted with, this e-mail. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately notify us by return e-mail. Thank you From: " Elgamal" Date: Mon, 28 Sep 2009 20:34:43 -0500< >Subject: RE: ( ) great.... Robin – Are there any private schools in your area that are geared towards kids with Aspergers or ADHD? We moved my son from public school to a private school that specialized in these kiddos for his last two years of high school. Actually, he should have been a senior when we moved him but we felt he needed an extra year to regain his self-esteem as well as get the educational support from a specialized school. It was one of the best things we ever did for Tyler. I do realize that we are very blessed and there are many people who don’t have the financial resources to do this. Just thought I would throw this out. From: [mailto:AspergersSu pport@group s.com] On Behalf Of and/or Robin LemkeSent: Sunday, September 27, 2009 7:30 PMAspergers TreatmentSubject: ( ) great.... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits"....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect". He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded".....or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness",,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... ....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 Yep,,,,,he was in pub,,,,then virtual,,,,,,,now parochial. From: Elgamal <cindyelgamal@...>Subject: RE: ( ) great.... Date: Monday, September 28, 2009, 8:45 PM Todd – I think Robin’s son is in a parochial school, not public. From: [mailto:AspergersSu pport@group s.com] On Behalf Of Todd KotlerSent: Monday, September 28, 2009 8:42 PM Subject: Re: ( ) great.... Or consider whether the public school is really providing FAPE. Then place at private and file DP. Very Truly YoursTodd B. KotlerAttorney and Counselor at Law330-777-0065 Phone-Fax-VoicemailSent via BlackBerry by AT & T. Please excuse any terseness or misspellings. (Those who know me already expect both) This e-mail contains information intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above and may be protected by attorney-client privilege. However, the mere receipt of this e-mail, alone, is not sufficient to create an attorney-client relationship. If the reader of this e-mail is not the intended recipient or the employee or agent responsible for delivering it to the intended recipient, any dissemination, publication or copying of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. The sender does not accept any responsibility for any loss, disruption or damage to your data or computer system that may occur while using data contained in, or transmitted with, this e-mail. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately notify us by return e-mail. Thank you From: " Elgamal" Date: Mon, 28 Sep 2009 20:34:43 -0500< >Subject: RE: ( ) great.... Robin – Are there any private schools in your area that are geared towards kids with Aspergers or ADHD? We moved my son from public school to a private school that specialized in these kiddos for his last two years of high school. Actually, he should have been a senior when we moved him but we felt he needed an extr! a year t o regain his self-esteem as well as get the educational support from a specialized school. It was one of the best things we ever did for Tyler. I do realize that we are very blessed and there are many people who don’t have the financial resources to do this. Just thought I would throw this out. From: [mailto:AspergersSu pport@group s.com] On Behalf Of and/or Robin LemkeSent: Sunday, September 27, 2009 7:30 PMAspergers TreatmentSubject: ( ) great.... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of e! nforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits"....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect". He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded".....or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness",,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'! m not ca lling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... ....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 Ok,,,,,I've just spent quite a while on line looking for schools in Wisconsin that deal with AS. Yikes. Do you have any ideas? I couldn't find anything. Any help would be appreciated. I guess I could call/email the Autism Society of WI. From: Elgamal <cindyelgamal@...>Subject: RE: ( ) great.... Date: Monday, September 28, 2009, 8:34 PM Robin – Are there any private schools in your area that are geared towards kids with Aspergers or ADHD? We moved my son from public school to a private school that specialized in these kiddos for his last two years of high school. Actually, he should have been a senior when we moved him but we felt he needed an extra year to regain his self-esteem as well as get the educational support from a specialized school. It was one of the best things we ever did for Tyler. I do realize that we are very blessed and there are many people who don’t have the financial resources to do this. Just thought I would throw this out. From: [mailto:AspergersSu pport@group s.com] On Behalf Of and/or Robin LemkeSent: Sunday, September 27, 2009 7:30 PMAspergers TreatmentSubject: ( ) great.... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits"....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect". He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded".....or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness",,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... ....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 Keep us posted, Robin. I know how hard this is for you and the two of you will be in my thoughts. Dylan (13) still struggles with similar things in his math class where he doesn't feel like he has friends. I think it turns into "some attention is better than no attention" which doesn't help matters, but he's really not trying to be a bad kid. He's also bored b/c the 1st six weeks is mainly review and he's good in Math so it makes it worse. He gets done with his work first and then the trouble starts. After the fact, he can tell you what he did wrong/right but in the middle of it all, controlling those impulses through the anxiety of not feeling like he's fitting in are hard. The more anxious he feels, the more noises he makes and the more immature he gets. It's a vicious cycle. I can say he's improved a lot this year though overall. I say that to give you hope. I can't tell you exactly why it's better, but it's better. A girl befriended him into her circle of friends and he feels like he belongs in a group other than Band now which probably was the most helpful. And he had a great experience at church camp last summer which probably helped. And I think he's just maturing more too. Not sure if any of that will help you in your situation, but hopefully knowing I'm keeping you in my thoughts will. "Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out." From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> Sent: Monday, September 28, 2009 3:40:20 PMSubject: Re: ( ) great.... Thanks, Debra. I just get so sad at the thought that he's, again, not fitting. Ugh. My instint is to say, Screw it, and yank him out again. I just need to chat with them,,,,,wasn' t able to this morning. I did send an email basically saying what I said on this post........ so we'll see. I feel so bad for him. From: Debra Balke <dlbalkecharter (DOT) net>Subject: Re: ( ) great.... Date: Monday, September 28, 2009, 8:20 AM Remember, he is not a mature 13 year old, he is an immature 13 year old. So, it isn't as if he has 5 years more of social development. He probably has another 10 years of maturing ahead. These kids often get a lot better as they get older, but many not until their early 20's. Didn't someone quote the 2/3's rule. 2/3's of 13, and that is where he is at emotionally. The noises, the silliness. Not a mature 13, but yes an immature 13. So, as long as he "grows up" some day and the noises and silliness stop and he can "fake it" enough to get by as an adult, it will all be OK.... ( ) great..... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits" ....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect" . He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded"... ..or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness" ,,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... ....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 Thanks, , It DOES help. Ya know, I guess in my 'odd' thinking, I thought that a smaller school would be better for keeping an eye on kids to be nice.......and a parochial would be better at ensuring respect and kindness. With both of those things going for his new school, I figured and hoped and prayed that he'd be accepted somewhere. Cause,,,,,,you're right. Crap can be falling down around you, but if you feel like you have a friend or fit somewhere, it doesn't seem so bad. Ugh. Thanks again for the thoughts..........and the 'hope' that things will get better. Have a good one. And I'm so glad that your son is doing well this year. Yay!!!!!! Is he in a pub school? Robin From: Debra Balke <dlbalkecharter (DOT) net>Subject: Re: ( ) great.... Date: Monday, September 28, 2009, 8:20 AM Remember, he is not a mature 13 year old, he is an immature 13 year old. So, it isn't as if he has 5 years more of social development. He probably has another 10 years of maturing ahead. These kids often get a lot better as they get older, but many not until their early 20's. Didn't someone quote the 2/3's rule. 2/3's of 13, and that is where he is at emotionally. The noises, the silliness. Not a mature 13, but yes an immature 13. So, as long as he "grows up" some day and the noises and silliness stop and he can "fake it" enough to get by as an adult, it will all be OK.... ( ) great...... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits" ....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect" . He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded"... ..or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness" ,,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... ....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 I understand why you thought a small, parochial school might be a good fit for your son. Makes sense to me. Yes, Dylan is in public school. His new friend, , has made all of the difference in the world, it seems. Apparently she's well liked at school and she thinks Dylan is funny so she's taken him into her fold. I met her passing down the hallway a few weeks ago, before I knew exactly who she was, and she seemed very nice. It's weird/sad/funny how much hope and affection I have towards a girl I don't know. Dylan is just resilient though. He's always been this way. His basic self-concept is strong, regardless of what others think. I wish I had 1/2 of his confidence and I'm an adult! Unfortunate side is that will be attending a different school next year when they graduate to high school so he won't have her anymore, but I'm hoping D bonds with some of her other friends that are attending the HS D will be attending. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it! "Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out." From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> Sent: Tuesday, September 29, 2009 6:44:17 AMSubject: Re: ( ) great.... Thanks, , It DOES help. Ya know, I guess in my 'odd' thinking, I thought that a smaller school would be better for keeping an eye on kids to be nice.......and a parochial would be better at ensuring respect and kindness. With both of those things going for his new school, I figured and hoped and prayed that he'd be accepted somewhere. Cause,,,,,,you' re right. Crap can be falling down around you, but if you feel like you have a friend or fit somewhere, it doesn't seem so bad. Ugh. Thanks again for the thoughts.... ......and the 'hope' that things will get better. Have a good one. And I'm so glad that your son is doing well this year. Yay!!!!!! Is he in a pub school? Robin From: Debra Balke <dlbalkecharter (DOT) net>Subject: Re: ( ) great.... Date: Monday, September 28, 2009, 8:20 AM Remember, he is not a mature 13 year old, he is an immature 13 year old. So, it isn't as if he has 5 years more of social development. He probably has another 10 years of maturing ahead. These kids often get a lot better as they get older, but many not until their early 20's. Didn't someone quote the 2/3's rule. 2/3's of 13, and that is where he is at emotionally. The noises, the silliness. Not a mature 13, but yes an immature 13. So, as long as he "grows up" some day and the noises and silliness stop and he can "fake it" enough to get by as an adult, it will all be OK.... ( ) great...... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits" ....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect" . He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded"... ..or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness" ,,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... ....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 Wow, what a tough spot. I would probably start by seeing if you can have regular meetings with his teacher(s) to discuss his TS and AS and OCD issues. I mean, a chance to explain parts of it to them so that they can understand? In regular school, it would be called " inservicing. " Or at the least, buy or rent a video on AS or TS so you can let them take it home and watch it. Another idea is to give them short bullet point type " infomercials " about your ds and his problems. Even when it's not a current problem, you would be able to address specific issues so that they recognize it when they see it and call it what it is, not making negative assumptions. You can also try to come up with a behavior plan, of sorts. You can identify a specific problem and come up with a solution to try. For instance, the noises - make a card to tape on his folder and he gets a check for every 15 minutes he goes without making a noise (or whatever seems reasonable.) You could supply rewards for good days, making sure it is something he can do. I am not sure what to make of the TS part as I am not as knowledgeable about it. How to differentiate between noises? And I understand that while you can delay making noises, it has to come out somehow, yes? Could it be channeled to a different activity or is making noises something he cannot adapt to another " release " a ctivity? I was wondering if you could get him to do something different instead of making the noise? If not, perhaps they can let him out of the room at regular intervals in order to " get it out " (bathroom breaks?) and then he could return. There is sometimes success with planning the stim in advance, penciling it in. That plus discussing the TS with the med doc and you might be able to lessen then TS noises a lot that way? If you get the teacher(s) in on the problem and what you want to do to solve it or improve it, then perhaps you could all work together as a team to help him. It depends on how willing these folks are. As for his age, I know it feels like it should be over with and we don't have to charge in to protect our teen kids but I promise, this goes on. lol. You will be doing this in high school too. This is not said to make you miserable, just to let you know that it is " normal " for us to have to do this stuff. And other people WILL look at you like you are overprotective or " the problem " or whatever their hang up is. But you go anyway. And don't let them make you feel wrong for doing your job. If we had NT kids, we'd think ourselves weird as well. lol. But we know better and so we understand that this is just part of the job when you have a kid with special needs. I have so been there!!! I even had to go to the doctor with my 18 -19 yo ds and talk for him during the exam because he couldn't do it on his own. And yes, the doc looked at me like I was weird and didn't belong there. I didn't feel like I belonged there. But how else was he going to get care? So I just did it and decided that if someone has a problem with it, then that's their own problem. Now, he's 20 yo and he goes by himself and talks for himself. Yay! But this is a recent improvement. I was prepared to do this for him for as long as he needed the help. Well, ok, I was going to make his dad do it the next time. lol. But my point is, we are going to be involved, heavily involved, for a lot longer than a typical parent is. It feels weird. We wish we could hand things off and be done with it. But we show up anyway. So hang in there. Also, don't get too overwhelmed looking at the future. That can really send you spinning. SO many things can happen in such a short period of time. Like I said, one minute I am talking to the doc for my 19 yo ds, the next he is able to handle it himself. I didn't see that coming but it just did. So you never know what improvements are ahead. Prepare as if he will always need this help and work as hard as you can to get him ready, but don't despair if it isn't working or he isn't advancing 0Ayet. Keep hanging in there! PS: We are eschooling again this year. I honestly do not know how my ds could manage being in a regular school right now. He is having more problems than it seems like he did a few years ago but he's hit puberty, dealing with depression and anxiety, etc. So he is dealing with more now. But I wanted to spend this year getting him more independent so that he could go to regular school. Instead, it's been an awful start to the year and I see no hope at all. ugh. Well, we'll just have to take it a day at a time and keep moving towards the goal. big big sigh. Oh yeah, and we have noises all day long!!! It can make me want to jump! <GG>  Roxanna " The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. " E. Burke ( ) great.... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to " go back to school " for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we 're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board.  Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken.... " demerits " ....but " bugging " people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,,,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is " called " on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered " disrespect " .  He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more " at ease " , I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, " knock it off " or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, " You're so retarded " .....or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the " social " ability to hide his " naughtiness " ,,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt.  I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he's now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me.  I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking.......wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things.......wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises.  I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 That's awesome, . I think girls can, yes, be viscious, but at the same time, some of them are more accepting of boys in need. Did that make sense? I bet your son will definitely bond with others before the year is out.. And,,,,no....it doesn't seem odd that you feel affection for this girl. She is treating your son the way that you know he deserves. That's a wonderful thing!!!! Robin From: Debra Balke <dlbalkecharter (DOT) net>Subject: Re: ( ) great.... Date: Monday, September 28, 2009, 8:20 AM Remember, he is not a mature 13 year old, he is an immature 13 year old. So, it isn't as if he has 5 years more of social development. He probably has another 10 years of maturing ahead. These kids often get a lot better as they get older, but many not until their early 20's. Didn't someone quote the 2/3's rule. 2/3's of 13, and that is where he is at emotionally. The noises, the silliness. Not a mature 13, but yes an immature 13. So, as long as he "grows up" some day and the noises and silliness stop and he can "fake it" enough to get by as an adult, it will all be OK.... ( ) great....... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits" ....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect" . He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded"... ..or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness" ,,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... ....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 Short for Due Process.I think an argument might be made that if he is being emotionally impacted to the point that school work is effected then there is a denial of FAPE. Very Truly YoursTodd B. KotlerAttorney and Counselor at Law330-777-0065 Phone-Fax-VoicemailSent via BlackBerry by AT&T. Please excuse any terseness or misspellings. (Those who know me already expect both) This e-mail contains information intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above and may be protected by attorney-client privilege. However, the mere receipt of this e-mail, alone, is not sufficient to create an attorney-client relationship. If the reader of this e-mail is not the intended recipient or the employee or agent responsible for delivering it to the intended recipient, any dissemination, publication or copying of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. The sender does not accept any responsibility for any loss, disruption or damage to your data or computer system that may occur while using data contained in, or transmitted with, this e-mail. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately notify us by return e-mail. Thank youFrom: and/or Robin Lemke Date: Mon, 28 Sep 2009 19:08:22 -0700 (PDT)< >Subject: Re: ( ) great.... Hi Todd.I feel they were providing FAPE, yes. It was the emotional part that crushed my son. There were no laws that kept him feeling good. What is DP?From: Todd Kotler <TBKotleraol>Subject: Re: ( ) great...." groups (DOT) . com" < >Date: Monday, September 28, 2009, 8:41 PM Or consider whether the public school is really providing FAPE. Then place at private and file DP. Very Truly YoursTodd B. KotlerAttorney and Counselor at Law330-777-0065 Phone-Fax-VoicemailSent via BlackBerry by AT & T. Please excuse any terseness or misspellings. (Those who know me already expect both) This e-mail contains information intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above and may be protected by attorney-client privilege. However, the mere receipt of this e-mail, alone, is not sufficient to create an attorney-client relationship. If the reader of this e-mail is not the intended recipient or the employee or agent responsible for delivering it to the intended recipient, any dissemination, publication or copying of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. The sender does not accept any responsibility for any loss, disruption or damage to your data or computer system that may occur while using data contained in, or transmitted with, this e-mail. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately notify us by return e-mail. Thank youFrom: " Elgamal" Date: Mon, 28 Sep 2009 20:34:43 -0500< >Subject: RE: ( ) great.... Robin – Are there any private schools in your area that are geared towards kids with Aspergers or ADHD? We moved my son from public school to a private school that specialized in these kiddos for his last two years of high school. Actually, he should have been a senior when we moved him but we felt he needed an extra year to regain his self-esteem as well as get the educational support from a specialized school. It was one of the best things we ever did for Tyler. I do realize that we are very blessed and there are many people who don’t have the financial resources to do this. Just thought I would throw this out. From: [mailto:AspergersSu pport@group s.com] On Behalf Of and/or Robin LemkeSent: Sunday, September 27, 2009 7:30 PMAspergers TreatmentSubject: ( ) great.... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th.We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12.They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes.Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits"....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect". He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded".....or other not nice or acceptable things.They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second.This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off.Here's the circle, ya know?So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness",,,,,he gets in trouble.Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too.SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13.At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him.I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names.I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made.....cause knows no one wants to be with him.He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit.It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle.BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... ....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 Great idea, Rose!  Roxanna " The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. " E. Burke ( ) great....  Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to " go back to school " for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board.  Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken.... " demerits " ....but " bugging " people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is " called " on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered " disrespect " .  He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more " at ease " , I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, " knock it off " or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, " You're so retarded " ... ..or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the " social " ability to hide his " naughtiness " ,,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt.  I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause20knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me.  I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... .....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises.  I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 I´m not American, but have you looked at the QASIS website? --- Den tis 2009-09-29 skrev and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...>: Från: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...>Ämne: RE: ( ) great....Till: Datum: tisdag 29 september 2009 04.27 Ok,,,,,I've just spent quite a while on line looking for schools in Wisconsin that deal with AS. Yikes. Do you have any ideas? I couldn't find anything. Any help would be appreciated. I guess I could call/email the Autism Society of WI. From: Elgamal <cindyelgamal@ sbcglobal. net>Subject: RE: ( ) great.... Date: Monday, September 28, 2009, 8:34 PM Robin – Are there any private schools in your area that are geared towards kids with Aspergers or ADHD? We moved my son from public school to a private school that specialized in these kiddos for his last two years of high school. Actually, he should have been a senior when we moved him but we felt he needed an extra year to regain his self-esteem as well as get the educational support from a specialized school. It was one of the best things we ever did for Tyler. I do realize that we are very blessed and there are many people who don’t have the financial resources to do this. Just thought I would throw this out. From: [mailto:AspergersSu pport@group s.com] On Behalf Of and/or Robin LemkeSent: Sunday, September 27, 2009 7:30 PMAspergers TreatmentSubject: ( ) great.... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits" ....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect" . He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded"... ..or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness" ,,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... ....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. __________________________________________________Använder du ?Är du trött på spam? E-post har det bästa spamskyddet som finns http://se.mail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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