Guest guest Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 My son has TS and Aspergers and PANDAS OCD. Luckily he has been able to hold in his tics during class, however TSA is a great place for you to call. They can come to your meetings, give inservice, maybe even send an attorney in to the meeting. I would check with them. Where do you live? They have reps for each area/state? Please call them because they have great resourses and your son is being mistreated for his disibility and that is against the law.The Individuals with Disibilities Education Act. You can go to DP for this! http://www.tsa-usa.org/educ_advoc/education_main.htm http://www.tsa-usa.org/index.html > > Wow, what a tough spot. I would probably start by seeing if you can > have regular meetings with his teacher(s) to discuss his TS and AS and > OCD issues. I mean, a chance to explain parts of it to them so that > they can understand? In regular school, it would be called > " inservicing. " Or at the least, buy or rent a video on AS or TS so you > can let them take it home and watch it. Another idea is to give them > short bullet point type " infomercials " about your ds and his problems. > Even when it's not a current problem, you would be able to address > specific issues so that they recognize it when they see it and call it > what it is, not making negative assumptions. > > You can also try to come up with a behavior plan, of sorts. You can > identify a specific problem and come up with a solution to try. For > instance, the noises - make a card to tape on his folder and he gets a > check for every 15 minutes he goes without making a noise (or whatever > seems reasonable.) You could supply rewards for good days, making sure > it is something he can do. I am not sure what to make of the TS part > as I am not as knowledgeable about it. How to differentiate between > noises? And I understand that while you can delay making noises, it > has to come out somehow, yes? Could it be channeled to a different > activity or is making noises something he cannot adapt to another > " release " a > ctivity? I was wondering if you could get him to do > something different instead of making the noise? If not, perhaps they > can let him out of the room at regular intervals in order to " get it > out " (bathroom breaks?) and then he could return. There is sometimes > success with planning the stim in advance, penciling it in. That plus > discussing the TS with the med doc and you might be able to lessen then > TS noises a lot that way? If you get the teacher(s) in on the problem > and what you want to do to solve it or improve it, then perhaps you > could all work together as a team to help him. > > It depends on how willing these folks are. > > As for his age, I know it feels like it should be over with and we > don't have to charge in to protect our teen kids but I promise, this > goes on. lol. You will be doing this in high school too. This is not > said to make you miserable, just to let you know that it is " normal " > for us to have to do this stuff. And other people WILL look at you > like you are overprotective or " the problem " or whatever their hang up > is. But you go anyway. And don't let them make you feel wrong for > doing your job. If we had NT kids, we'd think ourselves weird as well. > lol. But we know better and so we understand that this is just part > of the job when you have a kid with special needs. > > I have so been there!!! I even had > to go to the doctor with my 18 -19 > yo ds and talk for him during the exam because he couldn't do it on his > own. And yes, the doc looked at me like I was weird and didn't belong > there. I didn't feel like I belonged there. But how else was he going > to get care? So I just did it and decided that if someone has a > problem with it, then that's their own problem. Now, he's 20 yo and he > goes by himself and talks for himself. Yay! But this is a recent > improvement. I was prepared to do this for him for as long as he > needed the help. Well, ok, I was going to make his dad do it the next > time. lol. > > But my point is, we are going to be involved, heavily involved, for a > lot longer than a typical parent is. It feels weird. We wish we could > hand things off and be done with it. But we show up anyway. So hang > in there. > > Also, don't get too overwhelmed looking at the future. That can really > send you spinning. SO many things can happen in such a short period of > time. Like I said, one minute I am talking to the doc for my 19 yo ds, > the next he is able to handle it himself. I didn't see that coming but > it just did. So you never know what improvements are ahead. Prepare > as if he will always need this help and work as hard as you can to get > him ready, but don't despair if it isn't working or he isn't advancing > 0Ayet. Keep hanging in there! > > PS: We are eschooling again this year. I honestly do not know how my > ds could manage being in a regular school right now. He is having more > problems than it seems like he did a few years ago but he's hit > puberty, dealing with depression and anxiety, etc. So he is dealing > with more now. But I wanted to spend this year getting him more > independent so that he could go to regular school. Instead, it's been > an awful start to the year and I see no hope at all. ugh. Well, we'll > just have to take it a day at a time and keep moving towards the goal. > big big sigh. Oh yeah, and we have noises all day long!!! It can make > me want to jump! <GG> > >  Roxanna > > " The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do > nothing. " E. Burke > > > ( ) great.... > > > > Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for > 6th and 7th grade, decided to " go back to school " for this year, 8th. > > > We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. > > > They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, > OCD, and Tourttes. > > > Ian even joined the small soccer team. > > It's been hard, but we > 're making it, academically. With no IEP and no > legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I > said, they seem like they are on board. > > >  > > > Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken.... " demerits " ....but > " bugging " people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act > goofy,,,,,,,,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is " called " on something and > believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is > considered " disrespect " . > > >  > > > He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him > getting more " at ease " , I think, with the kids and school, he is also > getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are > funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, " knock it off " > or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. > They now, are saying, " You're so retarded " .....or other not nice or > acceptable things. > > > They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a > second. > > > This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. > > > Here's the circle, ya know? > > > So,,,then, because he doesn't have the " social " ability to hide his > " naughtiness " ,,,,,he gets in trouble. > > > Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug > people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. > > > > SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. > > > > >  > > > I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he's now 13. > > > At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will > always defend him. > > > I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. > > > > I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting > sad,,,,then made..... > > > cause knows no one wants to be with him. > > > He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just > doesnt' fit. > > > It's crushing me. > > >  > > > I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when > we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. > > > > BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm > panicking.......wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him > to learn that he has to just take some things.......wanting him to see > that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a > while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. > > >  > > > I hate this. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 Yes, Todd, I agree. Sadly. So,,,,,,,,what does a person do, legally, when their kid is being affected socially by not having the help in place to show him how to "be" or when they are just not fitting b/c of AS? I can't imagine this is provable. Have you ever come across it? From: Todd Kotler <TBKotleraol (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) great....." @ groups. . com" < >Date: Monday, September 28, 2009, 8:41 PM Or consider whether the public school is really providing FAPE. Then place at private and file DP. Very Truly YoursTodd B. KotlerAttorney and Counselor at Law330-777-0065 Phone-Fax-VoicemailSent via BlackBerry by AT & T. Please excuse any terseness or misspellings. (Those who know me already expect both) This e-mail contains information intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above and may be protected by attorney-client privilege. However, the mere receipt of this e-mail, alone, is not sufficient to create an attorney-client relationship. If the reader of this e-mail is not the intended recipient or the employee or agent responsible for delivering it to the intended recipient, any dissemination, publication or copying of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. The sender does not accept any responsibility for any loss, disruption or damage to your data or computer system that may occur while using data contained in, or transmitted with, this e-mail. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately notify us by return e-mail. Thank you From: " Elgamal" Date: Mon, 28 Sep 2009 20:34:43 -0500< >Subject: RE: ( ) great.... Robin – Are there any private schools in your area that are geared towards kids with Aspergers or ADHD? We moved my son from public school to a private school that specialized in these kiddos for his last two years of high school. Actually, he should have been a senior when we moved him but we felt he needed an extra year to regain his self-esteem as well as get the educational support from a specialized school. It was one of the best things we ever did for Tyler. I do realize that we are very blessed and there are many people who don’t have the financial resources to do this. Just thought I would throw this out. From: [mailto:AspergersSu pport@group s.com] On Behalf Of and/or Robin LemkeSent: Sunday, September 27, 2009 7:30 PMAspergers TreatmentSubject: ( ) great.... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits" ....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect" . He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded"... ..or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness" ,,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... ....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 Yes I have. Found SOME schools, but they weren't around here. THanks, though, Karolina. From: Elgamal <cindyelgamal@ sbcglobal. net>Subject: RE: ( ) great.... Date: Monday, September 28, 2009, 8:34 PM Robin – Are there any private schools in your area that are geared towards kids with Aspergers or ADHD? We moved my son from public school to a private school that specialized in these kiddos for his last two years of high school. Actually, he should have been a senior when we moved him but we felt he needed an extra year to regain his self-esteem as well as get the educational support from a specialized school. It was one of the best things we ever did for Tyler. I do realize that we are very blessed and there are many people who don’t have the financial resources to do this. Just thought I would throw this out. From: [mailto:AspergersSu pport@group s.com] On Behalf Of and/or Robin LemkeSent: Sunday, September 27, 2009 7:30 PMAspergers TreatmentSubject: ( ) great.... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits" ....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect" . He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded"... ..or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness" ,,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... ....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __Använder du ?Är du trött på spam? E-post har det bästa spamskyddet som finns http://se.mail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 Thanks, . From: Michele <m.snyder78@...>Subject: Re: ( ) great.... Date: Tuesday, September 29, 2009, 9:31 AM My son has TS and Aspergers and PANDAS OCD. Luckily he has been able to hold in his tics during class, however TSA is a great place for you to call. They can come to your meetings, give inservice, maybe even send an attorney in to the meeting. I would check with them. Where do you live? They have reps for each area/state? Please call them because they have great resourses and your son is being mistreated for his disibility and that is against the law.The Individuals with Disibilities Education Act. You can go to DP for this! http://www.tsa- usa.org/educ_ advoc/education_ main.htmhttp://www.tsa- usa.org/index. html>> Wow, what a tough spot. I would probably start by seeing if you can > have regular meetings with his teacher(s) to discuss his TS and AS and > OCD issues. I mean, a chance to explain parts of it to them so that > they can understand? In regular school, it would be called > "inservicing. " Or at the least, buy or rent a video on AS or TS so you > can let them take it home and watch it. Another idea is to give them > short bullet point type "infomercials" about your ds and his problems. > Even when it's not a current problem, you would be able to address > specific issues so that they recognize it when they see it and call it > what it is, not making negative assumptions.> > You can also try to come up with a behavior plan, of sorts. You can > identify a specific problem and come up with a solution to try. For > instance, the noises - make a card to tape on his folder and he gets a > check for every 15 minutes he goes without making a noise (or whatever > seems reasonable.) You could supply rewards for good days, making sure > it is something he can do. I am not sure what to make of the TS part > as I am not as knowledgeable about it. How to differentiate between > noises? And I understand that while you can delay making noises, it > has to come out somehow, yes? Could it be channeled to a different > activity or is making noises something he cannot adapt to another > "release" a> ctivity? I was wondering if you could get him to do > something different instead of making the noise? If not, perhaps they > can let him out of the room at regular intervals in order to "get it > out" (bathroom breaks?) and then he could return. There is sometimes > success with planning the stim in advance, penciling it in. That plus > discussing the TS with the med doc and you might be able to lessen then > TS noises a lot that way? If you get the teacher(s) in on the problem > and what you want to do to solve it or improve it, then perhaps you > could all work together as a team to help him.> > It depends on how willing these folks are.> > As for his age, I know it feels like it should be over with and we > don't have to charge in to protect our teen kids but I promise, this > goes on. lol. You will be doing this in high school too. This is not > said to make you miserable, just to let you know that it is "normal" > for us to have to do this stuff. And other people WILL look at you > like you are overprotective or "the problem" or whatever their hang up > is. But you go anyway. And don't let them make you feel wrong for > doing your job. If we had NT kids, we'd think ourselves weird as well. > lol. But we know better and so we understand that this is just part > of the job when you have a kid with special needs.> > I have so been there!!! I even had> to go to the doctor with my 18 -19 > yo ds and talk for him during the exam because he couldn't do it on his > own. And yes, the doc looked at me like I was weird and didn't belong > there. I didn't feel like I belonged there. But how else was he going > to get care? So I just did it and decided that if someone has a > problem with it, then that's their own problem. Now, he's 20 yo and he > goes by himself and talks for himself. Yay! But this is a recent > improvement. I was prepared to do this for him for as long as he > needed the help. Well, ok, I was going to make his dad do it the next > time. lol.> > But my point is, we are going to be involved, heavily involved, for a > lot longer than a typical parent is. It feels weird. We wish we could > hand things off and be done with it. But we show up anyway. So hang > in there.> > Also, don't get too overwhelmed looking at the future. That can really > send you spinning.. SO many things can happen in such a short period of > time. Like I said, one minute I am talking to the doc for my 19 yo ds, > the next he is able to handle it himself. I didn't see that coming but > it just did. So you never know what improvements are ahead. Prepare > as if he will always need this help and work as hard as you can to get > him ready, but don't despair if it isn't working or he isn't advancing > 0Ayet. Keep hanging in there!> > PS: We are eschooling again this year. I honestly do not know how my > ds could manage being in a regular school right now. He is having more > problems than it seems like he did a few years ago but he's hit > puberty, dealing with depression and anxiety, etc. So he is dealing > with more now. But I wanted to spend this year getting him more > independent so that he could go to regular school. Instead, it's been > an awful start to the year and I see no hope at all. ugh. Well, we'll > just have to take it a day at a time and keep moving towards the goal. > big big sigh. Oh yeah, and we have noises all day long!!! It can make > me want to jump! <GG>> >  Roxanna> > "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do > nothing." E. Burke> > > ( ) great....> > > > Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for > 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th.> > > We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12.> > > They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, > OCD, and Tourttes.> > > Ian even joined the small soccer team. > > It's been hard, but we> 're making it, academically. With no IEP and no > legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I > said, they seem like they are on board.> > >  > > > Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits" ....but > "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act > goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and > believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is > considered "disrespect" .> > >  > > > He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him > getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also > getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are > funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" > or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. > They now, are saying, "You're so retarded"... ..or other not nice or > acceptable things.> > > They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a > second.> > > This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off.> > > Here's the circle, ya know?> > > So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his > "naughtiness" ,,,,,he gets in trouble.> > > Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug > people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too.> > > > SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt.> > > > >  > > > I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13.> > > At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will > always defend him.> > > I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names.> > > > I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting > sad,,,,then made.....> > > cause knows no one wants to be with him.> > > He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just > doesnt' fit.> > > It's crushing me.> > >  > > > I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when > we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle.> > > > BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm > panicking... ....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him > to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see > that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a > while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises.> > >  > > > I hate this.> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 Thanks, Roxanna. Wow...there's so much to reply to, here. The school he's at has been pretty receiving of my emails and me wanting to chat. They sound real good. They listen. They accept papers that I've given them. I've made copies with bullets and turned it all over. They've said thank you and taken it all. I love the idea of coming up with a behavior plan. That's going to happen. As far as Tourettes, he doesn't' have the constant noises. He has sounds that come out occasionally. A 'hoo hoo" or a "beep"...............throat clearing.....shoulder shrugging..... and humming/singing sometimes. He can try to stop it.....and when it comes out, he apologizes. This is the prob. When he makes the noise,,,,unintentional.........he gets told to "be quiet" by 1 or 2.....then, he "intentionally" makes them again if it was said "mean". Then, they call him retarded, etc. Now, he has admitted, that he will intentionally make the noises just to tick them off. Also........it's a couple of girls that he usually "targets". And, I must add, that he recently has admitted to "liking girls". So,,,,I think the intentional noise-making is a "he he...I'm gonna get your attention" stuff. But,,,it turns out badly. I'm trying to get him to see that he's got to stop the "intentional' noises. In the mean time, I'm going to talk to his teachers and make sure they know what's happening...... and.... set up a time to maybe go in and talk with Ian to his class. I'm also going to see if there is any way he can be paired with someone at lunch. That way he doesn't sit alone all the time. Do you think that's a good idea, or is making older kids sit with someone a bad idea? I read the other post of someone asking this of their son,,,and I can't remember what the replies have been..... *** I know I'm going to be advocating/dealing with him for a long time. I loved your story about going to the doc with your son. he he. Sorry.........I don't mean to laugh......I guess I'm seeing / hearing about my future. But, you're right, things can change so quickly.....I need to take a deep breath and calm my big fat butt down. *** I hear you about the e-schooling/virtual schooling. Darn-it. My main goal was getting him with others after being home for 2 years. He did well. There were struggles, but for the most part, those 2 years here were perfect for him. He came out of his shell............man, he changed a lot. So,,,,the idea of him going to school again, was, well, a dream come true. I thought that he'd made such progress and "gotten better". The truth of the matter is,,,,,,,,,he got better because his surroundings got better. I'd love to make this small school work for him. I would. I don't know much about 1/2 day public school, if it doesn't' work....... But, I do know that when he was home, he learned and was better. Ugh. Thanks, again, Roxanna. Robin From: Roxanna <MadIdeas@...>Subject: Re: ( ) great.... Date: Tuesday, September 29, 2009, 8:10 AM Wow, what a tough spot. I would probably start by seeing if you can have regular meetings with his teacher(s) to discuss his TS and AS and OCD issues. I mean, a chance to explain parts of it to them so that they can understand? In regular school, it would be called "inservicing. " Or at the least, buy or rent a video on AS or TS so you can let them take it home and watch it. Another idea is to give them short bullet point type "infomercials" about your ds and his problems. Even when it's not a current problem, you would be able to address specific issues so that they recognize it when they see it and call it what it is, not making negative assumptions.You can also try to come up with a behavior plan, of sorts. You can identify a specific problem and come up with a solution to try. For instance, the noises - make a card to tape on his folder and he gets a check for every 15 minutes he goes without making a noise (or whatever seems reasonable.) You could supply rewards for good days, making sure it is something he can do. I am not sure what to make of the TS part as I am not as knowledgeable about it. How to differentiate between noises? And I understand that while you can delay making noises, it has to come out somehow, yes? Could it be channeled to a different activity or is making noises something he cannot adapt to another "release" activity? I was wondering if you could get him to do something different instead of making the noise? If not, perhaps they can let him out of the room at regular intervals in order to "get it out" (bathroom breaks?) and then he could return. There is sometimes success with planning the stim in advance, penciling it in. That plus discussing the TS with the med doc and you might be able to lessen then TS noises a lot that way? If you get the teacher(s) in on the problem and what you want to do to solve it or improve it, then perhaps you could all work together as a team to help him.It depends on how willing these folks are.As for his age, I know it feels like it should be over with and we don't have to charge in to protect our teen kids but I promise, this goes on. lol. You will be doing this in high school too. This is not said to make you miserable, just to let you know that it is "normal" for us to have to do this stuff. And other people WILL look at you like you are overprotective or "the problem" or whatever their hang up is. But you go anyway. And don't let them make you feel wrong for doing your job. If we had NT kids, we'd think ourselves weird as well. lol. But we know better and so we understand that this is just part of the job when you have a kid with special needs.I have so been there!!! I even hadto go to the doctor with my 18 -19 yo ds and talk for him during the exam because he couldn't do it on his own. And yes, the doc looked at me like I was weird and didn't belong there. I didn't feel like I belonged there. But how else was he going to get care? So I just did it and decided that if someone has a problem with it, then that's their own problem. Now, he's 20 yo and he goes by himself and talks for himself. Yay! But this is a recent improvement. I was prepared to do this for him for as long as he needed the help. Well, ok, I was going to make his dad do it the next time. lol.But my point is, we are going to be involved, heavily involved, for a lot longer than a typical parent is. It feels weird. We wish we could hand things off and be done with it. But we show up anyway. So hang in there.Also, don't get too overwhelmed looking at the future. That can really send you spinning. SO many things can happen in such a short period of time. Like I said, one minute I am talking to the doc for my 19 yo ds, the next he is able to handle it himself. I didn't see that coming but it just did. So you never know what improvements are ahead. Prepare as if he will always need this help and work as hard as you can to get him ready, but don't despair if it isn't working or he isn't advancing 0Ayet. Keep hanging in there!PS: We are eschooling again this year. I honestly do not know how my ds could manage being in a regular school right now. He is having more problems than it seems like he did a few years ago but he's hit puberty, dealing with depression and anxiety, etc. So he is dealing with more now. But I wanted to spend this year getting him more independent so that he could go to regular school. Instead, it's been an awful start to the year and I see no hope at all. ugh. Well, we'll just have to take it a day at a time and keep moving towards the goal. big big sigh. Oh yeah, and we have noises all day long!!! It can make me want to jump! <GG> Roxanna"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E. Burke ( ) great....Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th.We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12.They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes.Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits" ....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect" . He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded"... ..or other not nice or acceptable things.They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second.This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off.Here's the circle, ya know?So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness" ,,,,,he gets in trouble.Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too.SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13.At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him.I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names.I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made.....cause knows no one wants to be with him.He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit.It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle.BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... ....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things....... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 Robin...how similiar our children are...it still Amazes me....my son will act goofy and fool around too...he thinks that being funny and making others laugh will make them like him or think he is "cool" ..."funny"...and he gets in trouble for acting up or out or whatever. My son can lie to me but not at school....I will never forget in 5th grade....his wicked case manager/sp ed. teacher gave him lunch detention. She reminded him in the morning but when it came to lunch time...he walked in and went with all the other kids...I mean...do you really think he would go up to a monitor and say "Hey, I am suppose to go to lunch detention"....yeah right...so I don 't know if he just forgot in the madness of the lunch room or what...but when they were dismissed and he was walking up the stairs to class...he ran into Ms. Witch...and she said..."D...Did you go to lunch detention?"...now most kids probably would have lied and said yes...but not my son...he looked at her and did the quirky smile (not a real smile- a nervous action that looks like he is smiling)...and he replied...No, I forgot. He was honest. And, she said ...."Your mind games may work on your mother, but they don't work on me". OHhhhhhh...that was below the belt. I called the school and screamed at the Asst. Principal...she went down to the teacher to check this out ...but of course the teacher denied it....Yeah right...now where on earth did my son get "Mind Games" ???? I have never ever used that term at home. This was the same teacher who told my son all he does is eat and watch t.v. when he is home.and another time...he went up to her to ask a question and she told him...."If you read the directions,you would know what to do.". Ugh!!! What a year 5th grade was HxLL. And the next year...we thought we were safe from her and whamo....he got her for reading program. Nice...at the end of 6th ...she recommended that he not continue Reading Program....that he was not progressing, etc. etc. So for the first half of 7th he had another reading program....but I was angry and had them re-test him and they decided to put him back in the Reading Program. He had a new teacher who was kind and understanding....and he progressed nicely. He is now in 8th grade and still getting the program and his new teacher said he is doing really well...in fact, she said he can read better than we think and asked him if he was bored in the class and he said no. I think he likes going there and it makes him feel good. So, I am keeping him there. It will probably help him with his self-esteem. Now if you had asked me about public school the last 3 years ...I would have said no. But for some reason, my son is doing really well this year in school. He is in a new school ....he had been in the same school from 1st -7th. Everyone in his class was new to this school ...not just him. Over the summer, I told my son...that this year I was not going to bug him about his school work....I would not ask if he had homework....and that he was to be responsible. If he needed help...then I would be more than glad to help. It is sink or swim...and I told him if he needs to repeat the grade it will because he didn't try. So far...all his teachers are telling me he is ding fine...that he is kind and polite. All his teachers say he is coming prepared to class....they tell me not to worry and that they will tell me if or when he starts slipping. I pray that doesn't happen. He also doesn't get much homework as they have 90 min. classes....and I think they get most of it done in school. I am very very happy about that becuase our house became a battlezone when he tried to get him to do his homeowork. One day this year he came home and went into the kitchen and started doing his math. He asked me for help. He had 3 more problems to do and asked me to do it since he didn't know how....I laughed and said NO...but I will help you do them. I think part of this is my son matured a lot this summer and he has gone thruough a hugh growth spurt and hormonal change....his voice is changing...he is getting tons of hair and pimples (ugh and he doesn't wash his face a lot)....He gets mad at me because I am on his case about it. But last night I said...it is your face,...if you want pimples and don't want to take care of your face ...then it is your problem and not mine. I told him they could become infected ....hoping that might work ....we'll see. But, I can't keep doing everything for him and he needs to start being responsible. But, so far school has been good ....no problems...and his teachers this year are really good. Teachers can make or break the kids....and this is where he lucked out....I am close to the Asst. Superintendent of Spec.Ed. and the Asst. Principal in his school was a Spec.Ed. Supervisor. They all know....I don't play around...if there is a problem...I am on the phone or emailing the Asst. Superintendent. But, when things go right...I also send out praised even to the School Board....I make sure everyone knows. Now back to your son...personally, I don't think Parochial Schools are good for our children. At least the ones around here. Our public schools offer so much more...more classes, more after school activities and clubs, more specialized classes...such as small groups learning about anger management....the public schools also have Psychologists on board and Behavior Specialists. I think the kids in 8th grade have mature a lot more ...and in high school they are more mature and don't normally pick on special needs kids. In our high school...where I am a paraprofessional....we have a senior girl who has AS. She has a para all day....she is in Spec. Ed. classes....she melts down and hits herself...she is ocd also....but the kids are all aware of her behaviors and no one makes fun of her at all. She is doing a lot better this year and even worked at school during the summer and did very well. So public school may not be as bad....go to the school and see if you can make arrangements for 1/2 day. Have your son take say Math and English there ...subjects he struggles with....Talk to the guidance counselor....and keep at it. Go to the Spec Ed. Superintendent if you have to...get a note from your doctor. I think the school will let him. I also think 1/2 day will get your son back in with other children but not be too too overwhelming...see if they will allow it. Push for it. If not...then my gut feeling is pull him out of the school and homeschool him again. It breaks my heart knowing he is getting teased and bullied....and I don't think the Parochial school has enough programs and knowledge to help him. Also, I think he coudl get an aide. And, if you are not happy with the aide...then requst someone else...and have infor. to back you up. We don't leave our students at all....I even eat in the cafe with mine...(he isn't AS) and I know the girl that is AS...her Para eats with her too. We are suppose to take our own 1/2 hour but a lot of time no one is there to cover for us...and we don't like leaving our students...so we take our break at 2:15 once they have left for the day....we have to stay till 3....I think with the right aide you son would be fine...but you need to find the right aide. So, go to the public school...see if you son can do a partial day at school and the other half at home...if not....I would pull him out of his present school and homeschool again. Keep me posted...I will be thinking of you too! And, praying. I am tired now...tomorrow...I will let you know about the latest saga in our home...it keeps getting worse...but at least it was not my son's fault. Whew! jan xoxo No Janice Rushen "I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope" From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) great....Aspergers TreatmentDate: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 8:29 PM Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits" ....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect" . He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded"... ..or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness" ,,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... ....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 To be candid, I have not run across this as an issue. Still, I think its provable; just difficult. One would need to produce an expert who has examined and / or observed the child to state the claimVery Truly YoursTodd B. KotlerAttorney and Counselor at Law330-777-0065 Phone-Fax-VoicemailSent via BlackBerry by AT&T. Please excuse any terseness or misspellings. (Those who know me already expect both) This e-mail contains information intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above and may be protected by attorney-client privilege. However, the mere receipt of this e-mail, alone, is not sufficient to create an attorney-client relationship. If the reader of this e-mail is not the intended recipient or the employee or agent responsible for delivering it to the intended recipient, any dissemination, publication or copying of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. The sender does not accept any responsibility for any loss, disruption or damage to your data or computer system that may occur while using data contained in, or transmitted with, this e-mail. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately notify us by return e-mail. Thank youFrom: and/or Robin Lemke Date: Tue, 29 Sep 2009 11:41:53 -0700 (PDT)< >Subject: Re: ( ) great.... Yes, Todd, I agree. Sadly.So,,,,,,,,what does a person do, legally, when their kid is being affected socially by not having the help in place to show him how to "be" or when they are just not fitting b/c of AS?I can't imagine this is provable. Have you ever come across it?From: Todd Kotler <TBKotleraol (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) great....." @ groups. . com" < >Date: Monday, September 28, 2009, 8:41 PM Or consider whether the public school is really providing FAPE. Then place at private and file DP. Very Truly YoursTodd B. KotlerAttorney and Counselor at Law330-777-0065 Phone-Fax-VoicemailSent via BlackBerry by AT & T. Please excuse any terseness or misspellings. (Those who know me already expect both) This e-mail contains information intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above and may be protected by attorney-client privilege. However, the mere receipt of this e-mail, alone, is not sufficient to create an attorney-client relationship. If the reader of this e-mail is not the intended recipient or the employee or agent responsible for delivering it to the intended recipient, any dissemination, publication or copying of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. The sender does not accept any responsibility for any loss, disruption or damage to your data or computer system that may occur while using data contained in, or transmitted with, this e-mail. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately notify us by return e-mail. Thank youFrom: " Elgamal" Date: Mon, 28 Sep 2009 20:34:43 -0500< >Subject: RE: ( ) great.... Robin – Are there any private schools in your area that are geared towards kids with Aspergers or ADHD? We moved my son from public school to a private school that specialized in these kiddos for his last two years of high school. Actually, he should have been a senior when we moved him but we felt he needed an extra year to regain his self-esteem as well as get the educational support from a specialized school. It was one of the best things we ever did for Tyler. I do realize that we are very blessed and there are many people who don’t have the financial resources to do this. Just thought I would throw this out. From: [mailto:AspergersSu pport@group s.com] On Behalf Of and/or Robin LemkeSent: Sunday, September 27, 2009 7:30 PMAspergers TreatmentSubject: ( ) great.... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th.We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12.They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes.Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits" ....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect" . He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded"... ..or other not nice or acceptable things.They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second.This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off.Here's the circle, ya know?So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness" ,,,,,he gets in trouble.Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too.SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13.At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him.I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names.I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made.....cause knows no one wants to be with him.He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit.It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle.BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... ....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 Yes...I think this is correct...who would report this...unless he has gotten older say high school...and a lot of students stated the same story....or if your child had an aide who would report this. Janice Rushen "I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope" From: Todd Kotler <TBKotleraol (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) great....." @ groups. . com" < >Date: Monday, September 28, 2009, 8:41 PM Or consider whether the public school is really providing FAPE. Then place at private and file DP. Very Truly YoursTodd B. KotlerAttorney and Counselor at Law330-777-0065 Phone-Fax-VoicemailSent via BlackBerry by AT & T. Please excuse any terseness or misspellings. (Those who know me already expect both) This e-mail contains information intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above and may be protected by attorney-client privilege. However, the mere receipt of this e-mail, alone, is not sufficient to create an attorney-client relationship. If the reader of this e-mail is not the intended recipient or the employee or agent responsible for delivering it to the intended recipient, any dissemination, publication or copying of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. The sender does not accept any responsibility for any loss, disruption or damage to your data or computer system that may occur while using data contained in, or transmitted with, this e-mail. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately notify us by return e-mail. Thank you From: " Elgamal" Date: Mon, 28 Sep 2009 20:34:43 -0500< >Subject: RE: ( ) great.... Robin – Are there any private schools in your area that are geared towards kids with Aspergers or ADHD? We moved my son from public school to a private school that specialized in these kiddos for his last two years of high school. Actually, he should have been a senior when we moved him but we felt he needed an extra year to regain his self-esteem as well as get the educational support from a specialized school. It was one of the best things we ever did for Tyler. I do realize that we are very blessed and there are many people who don’t have the financial resources to do this. Just thought I would throw this out. From: [mailto:AspergersSu pport@group s.com] On Behalf Of and/or Robin LemkeSent: Sunday, September 27, 2009 7:30 PMAspergers TreatmentSubject: ( ) great.... Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to "go back to school" for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board. Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken...."demerits" ....but "bugging" people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is "called" on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered "disrespect" . He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more "at ease", I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, "knock it off" or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, "You're so retarded"... ..or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the "social" ability to hide his "naughtiness" ,,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt. I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me. I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... ....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 30, 2009 Report Share Posted September 30, 2009 please, if you consider doing this, consult an attorney who specializes in sped first. There are requirements before you pull your kid out and place them somewhere else if you hope to file DP and get the school to pay for it. You have to follow a specific protocol in order to be successful. As the cards are already stacked against the parent/child in these cases, I'd be safe and make sure you are doing things the right way.  Roxanna " The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. " E. Burke ( ) great....   Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to " go back to school " for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board.  Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken.... " demerits " ....but " bugging " people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,,,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is " called " on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered " disrespect " .  He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more " at ease " , I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his =2 0 noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, " knock it off " or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, " You're so retarded " .....or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the " social " ability to hide his " naughtiness " ,,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt.  I'm not ca lling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he's now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me.  I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking.......wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things.......wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises.  I hate this.  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 30, 2009 Report Share Posted September 30, 2009 Seems like they did not know how to implement the social goals you probably had on the IEP or wanted on the IEP. I know how you feel too. It is very frustrating. In the early school years, we had an ABA program and the social aspect was part of that. They followed through really well. But as he got older, things got worse. For instance, one year, they did a great program on social skills for my ds. They had invited some " NT " kids (good examples) to participate as well as a few other kids who could use the extra help. They did activities geared towards learning social skills. Unfortunately, there was no plan for these skills to be generalized out into the real world. So things went great in the small group. But once it was over, everything returned back to normal. You can't make the other kids include him really but they could have implemented a plan to encourage and cue these things from both sides. They were trying to find ways to make that work, so at least I had that much going for us. I think in another ten years or so, they might have a good plan in place. lol. For instance, the ST would go into his class and cue him during class and during social activities. Also, they assigned one boy to be his " buddy " and look out for him from time to time. I think they should have assigned several and we could hope to have one stick. Where they did not do well - the teacher was actually clueless and didn't want to learn either. So having such a central figure out of the loop hurt the process immensely. Also, they did not recognize the follow through between the class and generalizing to free time (recess.) I ended up having to be at every recess at the end of the year, playing his " aide " because they were moving so slowly to fix a big problem. They did eventually get a system put into place. But you know, so often, it is too little too late. Like, it would have been great if it had been in place at the start and prevented a larger problem from happening. But once the larger problem happens, you can't put the band aid on it. It's too late. So yes, that is so frustrating.  Roxanna " The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. " E. Burke ( ) great.... Aspergers Treatment Date: Sunday, September=2 027, 2009, 8:29 PM  Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to " go back to school " for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board.  Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken.... " demerits " ....but " bugging " people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is " called " on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered " disrespect " .  He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more " at ease " , I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, " knock it off " or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, " You're so retarded " ... ..or other not nice or acceptable things. =0 A They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the " social " ability to hide his " naughtiness " ,,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt.  I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me.  I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking... .....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things...... .wa nting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises.  I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 30, 2009 Report Share Posted September 30, 2009 Good advice Roxanna. Very Truly YoursTodd B. KotlerAttorney and Counselor at Law330-777-0065 Phone-Fax-VoicemailSent via BlackBerry by AT&T. Please excuse any terseness or misspellings. (Those who know me already expect both) This e-mail contains information intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above and may be protected by attorney-client privilege. However, the mere receipt of this e-mail, alone, is not sufficient to create an attorney-client relationship. If the reader of this e-mail is not the intended recipient or the employee or agent responsible for delivering it to the intended recipient, any dissemination, publication or copying of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. The sender does not accept any responsibility for any loss, disruption or damage to your data or computer system that may occur while using data contained in, or transmitted with, this e-mail. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately notify us by return e-mail. Thank youFrom: Roxanna Date: Wed, 30 Sep 2009 09:15:38 -0400< >Subject: Re: ( ) great.... please, if you consider doing this, consult an attorney who specializes in sped first. There are requirements before you pull your kid out and place them somewhere else if you hope to file DP and get the school to pay for it. You have to follow a specific protocol in order to be successful. As the cards are already stacked against the parent/child in these cases, I'd be safe and make sure you are doing things the right way.  Roxanna " The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. " E. Burke ( ) great....   Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for 6th and 7th grade, decided to " go back to school " for this year, 8th. We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12. They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD, OCD, and Tourttes. Ian even joined the small soccer team. It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I said, they seem like they are on board.  Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken.... " demerits " ....but " bugging " people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act goofy,,,,,,,,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is " called " on something and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this is considered " disrespect " .  He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him getting more " at ease " , I think, with the kids and school, he is also getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his =2 0 noises, in his eyes, are funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, " knock it off " or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again. They now, are saying, " You're so retarded " .....or other not nice or acceptable things. They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a second. This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off. Here's the circle, ya know? So,,,then, because he doesn't have the " social " ability to hide his " naughtiness " ,,,,,he gets in trouble. Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too. SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt.  I'm not ca lling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he's now 13. At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I will always defend him. I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names. I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting sad,,,,then made..... cause knows no one wants to be with him. He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just doesnt' fit. It's crushing me.  I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle. BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking.......wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn that he has to just take some things.......wanting him to see that if he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while, but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises.  I hate this.  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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