Feeling Overwhelmed - Helping Son Make Friends

[Guest guest]

How do you cope with watching your 8 year old son not have/make friends? It is

the same wherever we go....he starts off playing ok, but soon intimidates/scares

the kids away. For example....over the winter an 8 year old boy moved behind

us, great right??? Well it was for one Saturday afternoon. They played the

entire afternoon...football, soccer, basketball, etc (things my son would not

usually play). He may not of stuck with anything long, but he was playing them.

In fact, just to have my son outside is huge.....he hates being outside most

days, and I don't think he ever stays out for more than 20-30 minutes at a

time!!! Anyway....this boy was out yesterday and I noticed my son trying to go

over and play. I could see that my son was being ignored, so I called him back

in to our yard, hoping the boy would come over and play. The whole night went

by, and the neighbor boy never came over to play (I was mowing the yard during

all this). I asked my son later if he asked the boy to play, and he said, " I

kept asking him, but he just kept ignoring me " . Just makes me sick to my

stomach. It's the same thing that always happens. Then again tonight.....we

were at a practice game for my boyfriend's son, and he started playing with a

little brother of one of the players. I tried to get them to play last year,

but it lasted about a day, then the little boy started ignoring him (he is 2

years younger than my son). They did ok today, but I know what will happen

after today

And the thing is.....I see why they ignore him. He talks non-stop, and usually

about himself or his interests. He runs and tells their parents about

everything. Even when he is around me at the games, he is talking non-stop and

really loud. I can totally see why his peers would be intimidated by him.

And I know this goes on at school too! He constantly tells me someone is

ignoring him, and now I see what he means. His teacher has told me he " talks

above the other kids " , and I'm sure it's hard for them to get where he is coming

from.

He wants friends so bad, but can't seem to get it. I put him in a social skills

group a few months back, but can't hardly afford $240 for 8 weeks! They are

starting a new one up, but I just can't justify the expense. He didn't do very

well at them, and spent one whole day under a table refusing to play, and

another night in a chair by the door because another girl said she hated him!!!

I just don't know what to do!! I feel like I could be doing more to help him

and don't want to sit back and watch him struggle. Also, what do you do about

the physical aspect of things? My son has always struggled with motor skills,

but never enough to get him help. He did do OT for awhile, but I can't hardly

get him there while working full time (I was only working part time before). My

son was trying to copy another kid doing a somersault the other day, and it made

me so sad. My 8 year old can't even begin to do a somersault. I've never seen

anything so awkward in my life. My boyfriend tried to help him, but he was like

a limp doll What do other do for this? Is so hard to imagine any child with

Aspergers being sports oriented (although I do realize they all struggle

differently). He is my only child, and I find myself feeling so jealous of

other people who have nice, quiet, sweet children. I hear people say what a

nice kid he is or she is, and figure nobody will ever say that about mine. He

can be defiant, loud, and annoying at times. I feel so horrible saying that

about my own child, but I know it is true. How do you deal with this and the

guilt that goes along with it?????

Sorry for the novel and thanks for listening!!!!