Jump to content
RemedySpot.com

Re: sports and aspergers

Rate this topic


Guest guest

Recommended Posts

Guest guest

He son plays Challenger baseball which is for Special Needs children. The rules are bent a little as in they are not so demanding of the children. He has done this for 2 years and loves it. It is very laid back. Very family oriented. The kids get a kick out of playing and end up having good role models from the older HS kids that teach them to play. TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: mommy2threeintheup <mommy2threeintheup@...> Sent: Mon, March 15, 2010 8:51:39 PMSubject: ( ) sports and aspergers

Do any of your children enjoy sports but have a hard time playing/watching? My son is a great athlete but his knowledge of the rules and wanting them to be followed to his specifications make it very hard for him to actually play. We tried basketball in the past through our church and he was unable to handle it. This year he wanted to play with the boys from school. He's homeschooled and I was leary but I went in to talk to the coach, a dad of 5 boys and now a baby girl. He was willing to read up on Aspergers and has been WONDERFUL with Jayden. J has still had episodes of yelling at refs and getting angry with other kids on the court but his coach just keeps encouraging him. After an explosion during the last tournament, while I was calming J because some well-meaning people were yelling at him to calm down, my boyfriend overheard one of the parents from our team talking to one of the parents from the other team saying he had a poor attitude because

of bad parenting and no discipline. That just makes me SO angry! She was saying that she was going to find a way to have him removed from the team. The coach, bless his heart, actually called ME to see if J wanted to join another league that he's coaching. He is willing to take on all the problems AGAIN...wow! :) How did I get so lucky? I talked to him today and he was telling me that J is one of his best players but also one of his worst because of the attitude but he is willing to help him get past that. I am just hoping someone might have suggestions on how to help him. He has a hard time watching sports on tv because he can't handle if his team gets behind or even if the other team MIGHT score/catch up, etc. He was on prozac for about 5 weeks but got violent (love that when I told the Dr. he said that's common in aspie kids but that the insurance makes them try it first....grrrrrr) so he just started Zoloft Saturday for his obsessions. The doc got

to see the obsession in rare form after a tournament a few weeks ago...every subject ended up coming back to how the refs sucked...and I do mean EVERYTHING. I am hoping the meds might calm him a bit and help with awareness but does anyone else have any suggestions? ? Sorry this turned into a book...also, any suggestions for how to deal with RUDE parents who have NO EXCUSE for their behavior??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

I coach my sons little league team and he also just finished basketbal tonite.

i made sure to get him on a team with his friends. it is motivating for him.

an understanding coach is the most helpful thing. but even good coaches rely on

the parents to give them tips on how to handle their kids. coaches also count

on parents to make sure their kids are taking their medication as prescribed so

they have an optimal experience on the field and are as coachable as possible.

there are good coaches out there but none have been trained in AS. other

parents may talk and some are downright obnoxious but as you mingle among the

parents i'm sure you'll discover others in exactly the same situation. i

applaud you for keeping him in sports. its so wonderful to help with the social

issues of AS. geo

- ( ) sports and aspergers

Do any of your children enjoy sports but have a hard time playing/watching? My

son is a great athlete but his knowledge of the rules and wanting them to be

followed to his specifications make it very hard for him to actually play. We

tried basketball in the past through our church and he was unable to handle it.

This year he wanted to play with the boys from school. He's homeschooled and I

was leary but I went in to talk to the coach, a dad of 5 boys and now a baby

girl. He was willing to read up on Aspergers and has been WONDERFUL with

Jayden. J has still had episodes of yelling at refs and getting angry with

other kids on the court but his coach just keeps encouraging him. After an

explosion during the last tournament, while I was calming J because some

well-meaning people were yelling at him to calm down, my boyfriend overheard one

of the parents from our team talking to one of the parents from the other team

saying he had a poor attitude because of bad parenting and no discipline. That

just makes me SO angry! She was saying that she was going to find a way to have

him removed from the team. The coach, bless his heart, actually called ME to

see if J wanted to join another league that he's coaching. He is willing to

take on all the problems AGAIN...wow! :) How did I get so lucky? I talked to

him today and he was telling me that J is one of his best players but also one

of his worst because of the attitude but he is willing to help him get past

that. I am just hoping someone might have suggestions on how to help him. He

has a hard time watching sports on tv because he can't handle if his team gets

behind or even if the other team MIGHT score/catch up, etc. He was on prozac

for about 5 weeks but got violent (love that when I told the Dr. he said that's

common in aspie kids but that the insurance makes them try it first....grrrrrr)

so he just started Zoloft Saturday for his obsessions. The doc got to see the

obsession in rare form after a tournament a few weeks ago...every subject ended

up coming back to how the refs sucked...and I do mean EVERYTHING. I am hoping

the meds might calm him a bit and help with awareness but does anyone else have

any suggestions?? Sorry this turned into a book...also, any suggestions for how

to deal with RUDE parents who have NO EXCUSE for their behavior??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

My son plays sports, he started before he was diagnosed. Some did not work out well. Basketball was way too stressful for him. But now my husband coaches him in baseball and flag football. He will say something at the beginning of the season like, "n might need a little extra help from his teammates, can I count on you guys?" That seems to work. If n starts crying or getting upset because they are losing or he thinks something is not fair, my husband will make him sit on the bench. Since you have a great coach who is willing to work with him, have him explain what's going on with your son at the beginning of the season, if you are comfortable with that. And if your son looks up to the coach, use that to your advantage. Tell him the coach wants him to improve his attitude if he is going to continue to play. And as

for the parents who say rude comments, forget about them. I know how tempting it is to want to tell them off, but in this case you have to set a good example for your son about controlling your temper.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Suzanne

suzmarkwood@...

From: mommy2threeintheup <mommy2threeintheup@...>Subject: ( ) sports and aspergers Date: Monday, March 15, 2010, 5:51 PM

Do any of your children enjoy sports but have a hard time playing/watching? My son is a great athlete but his knowledge of the rules and wanting them to be followed to his specifications make it very hard for him to actually play. We tried basketball in the past through our church and he was unable to handle it. This year he wanted to play with the boys from school. He's homeschooled and I was leary but I went in to talk to the coach, a dad of 5 boys and now a baby girl. He was willing to read up on Aspergers and has been WONDERFUL with Jayden. J has still had episodes of yelling at refs and getting angry with other kids on the court but his coach just keeps encouraging him. After an explosion during the last tournament, while I was calming J because some well-meaning people were yelling at him to calm down, my boyfriend overheard one of the parents from our team talking to one of the parents from the other team saying he had a poor attitude because

of bad parenting and no discipline. That just makes me SO angry! She was saying that she was going to find a way to have him removed from the team. The coach, bless his heart, actually called ME to see if J wanted to join another league that he's coaching. He is willing to take on all the problems AGAIN...wow! :) How did I get so lucky? I talked to him today and he was telling me that J is one of his best players but also one of his worst because of the attitude but he is willing to help him get past that. I am just hoping someone might have suggestions on how to help him. He has a hard time watching sports on tv because he can't handle if his team gets behind or even if the other team MIGHT score/catch up, etc. He was on prozac for about 5 weeks but got violent (love that when I told the Dr. he said that's common in aspie kids but that the insurance makes them try it first....grrrrrr) so he just started Zoloft Saturday for his obsessions. The doc got

to see the obsession in rare form after a tournament a few weeks ago...every subject ended up coming back to how the refs sucked...and I do mean EVERYTHING. I am hoping the meds might calm him a bit and help with awareness but does anyone else have any suggestions? ? Sorry this turned into a book...also, any suggestions for how to deal with RUDE parents who have NO EXCUSE for their behavior??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

My son has been playing soccer since he was in the 3rd grade (he's in the 8th grade now.) He had a hard time at the beginning with the rules, too, because the rules would change each year. They really focused on skill development and not winning when he was younger but with each year, the rules would change and it was tough for D to adapt. We've had some challenging times, but I am so glad we hung in there! The last 3 coaches he's had have been great. They understood he had some gross motor and communication challenges. The 2nd to the last coach he had was phenomenal. He adapted the way he coached the entire team to allow for the specific way he needed to coach Dylan (touching him on his shoulder to get his attention, was an example) and encouraged all of the kids to be specific if they liked or didn't like something another player was doing. This way, the

way he worked with Dylan didn't stand out. He was just great.

We have a new coach this season and we prepared him and so far, everything has been just fine. Dylan had his best defensive game, maybe ever, last Saturday. To see him out there competing with his peers (and not just being tolerated but being a starter who made big plays to help his team) was a huge triumph for our whole family. My mom and I were beaming on the sidelines. A few parents walked over to us to tell us what a great game he was having. I'm not used to seeing him in an environment with his peers where he stands out as doing something fantastic that's recognized. He has trouble making/keeping meaningful friendships and he struggles with organization at school, but on the soccer field last weekend, he was a star.

I would stick with it. How old is your son? With my son, it seemed like just good old-fashioned maturity would help quite a bit. I'd let the coach take the lead on teaching your son how to behave on the court. If there are things you can do to help reinforce, that would be great, but let the coach handle it. I think it might help and it sounds like you struck gold with him.

About the other parents - I'm not sure how comfortable you feel about this, but consider saying something about your son's communication struggles. You don't have to be specific about his diagnosis (but there's nothing wrong if you are specific.) Whatever makes you feel the most comfortable. I wouldn't worry about other teams, just the parents on your son's team. Maybe the coach would be willing to share some email addresses and you could reach out that way or sit next to them while the team is warming up the next time and share it? From their vantage point, they think it's a lack of discipline. Tell them what's really going on and maybe the light bulb will go off.

Our great coach used to say "The other boys see how hard Dylan is hustling out there and trying to do his best. That will go a long way with them." It seemed like that was the truth. It sounds like your son is a natural athlete so maybe that will be enough for the other boys to be a bit more tolerant too.

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: mommy2threeintheup <mommy2threeintheup@...> Sent: Mon, March 15, 2010 7:51:39 PMSubject: ( ) sports and aspergers

Do any of your children enjoy sports but have a hard time playing/watching? My son is a great athlete but his knowledge of the rules and wanting them to be followed to his specifications make it very hard for him to actually play. We tried basketball in the past through our church and he was unable to handle it. This year he wanted to play with the boys from school. He's homeschooled and I was leary but I went in to talk to the coach, a dad of 5 boys and now a baby girl. He was willing to read up on Aspergers and has been WONDERFUL with Jayden. J has still had episodes of yelling at refs and getting angry with other kids on the court but his coach just keeps encouraging him. After an explosion during the last tournament, while I was calming J because some well-meaning people were yelling at him to calm down, my boyfriend overheard one of the parents from our team talking to one of the parents from the other team saying he had a poor attitude because

of bad parenting and no discipline. That just makes me SO angry! She was saying that she was going to find a way to have him removed from the team. The coach, bless his heart, actually called ME to see if J wanted to join another league that he's coaching. He is willing to take on all the problems AGAIN...wow! :) How did I get so lucky? I talked to him today and he was telling me that J is one of his best players but also one of his worst because of the attitude but he is willing to help him get past that. I am just hoping someone might have suggestions on how to help him. He has a hard time watching sports on tv because he can't handle if his team gets behind or even if the other team MIGHT score/catch up, etc. He was on prozac for about 5 weeks but got violent (love that when I told the Dr. he said that's common in aspie kids but that the insurance makes them try it first....grrrrrr) so he just started Zoloft Saturday for his obsessions. The doc got

to see the obsession in rare form after a tournament a few weeks ago...every subject ended up coming back to how the refs sucked...and I do mean EVERYTHING. I am hoping the meds might calm him a bit and help with awareness but does anyone else have any suggestions? ? Sorry this turned into a book...also, any suggestions for how to deal with RUDE parents who have NO EXCUSE for their behavior??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

my 1st instinct would be to but in and say " he has aspergers so doesn't realise how rude he's being, whats your excuse "   but I know that wont solve anything, here we encounter the rude judgemental people as well< I've just learned that their opinion doesnt matter and therefore I could care less

On Mon, Mar 15, 2010 at 8:51 PM, mommy2threeintheup <mommy2threeintheup@...> wrote:

 

Do any of your children enjoy sports but have a hard time playing/watching? My son is a great athlete but his knowledge of the rules and wanting them to be followed to his specifications make it very hard for him to actually play. We tried basketball in the past through our church and he was unable to handle it. This year he wanted to play with the boys from school. He's homeschooled and I was leary but I went in to talk to the coach, a dad of 5 boys and now a baby girl. He was willing to read up on Aspergers and has been WONDERFUL with Jayden. J has still had episodes of yelling at refs and getting angry with other kids on the court but his coach just keeps encouraging him. After an explosion during the last tournament, while I was calming J because some well-meaning people were yelling at him to calm down, my boyfriend overheard one of the parents from our team talking to one of the parents from the other team saying he had a poor attitude because of bad parenting and no discipline. That just makes me SO angry! She was saying that she was going to find a way to have him removed from the team. The coach, bless his heart, actually called ME to see if J wanted to join another league that he's coaching. He is willing to take on all the problems AGAIN...wow! :) How did I get so lucky? I talked to him today and he was telling me that J is one of his best players but also one of his worst because of the attitude but he is willing to help him get past that. I am just hoping someone might have suggestions on how to help him. He has a hard time watching sports on tv because he can't handle if his team gets behind or even if the other team MIGHT score/catch up, etc. He was on prozac for about 5 weeks but got violent (love that when I told the Dr. he said that's common in aspie kids but that the insurance makes them try it first....grrrrrr) so he just started Zoloft Saturday for his obsessions. The doc got to see the obsession in rare form after a tournament a few weeks ago...every subject ended up coming back to how the refs sucked...and I do mean EVERYTHING. I am hoping the meds might calm him a bit and help with awareness but does anyone else have any suggestions?? Sorry this turned into a book...also, any suggestions for how to deal with RUDE parents who have NO EXCUSE for their behavior??

-- -mommy to Emma, Becca, , and Girl Scout cookies are coming!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

, My son is 10 and we have seen some improvement as he gets older with the attitude control. It's still a daily struggle but he does have the support of his teammates. They are awesome with encouraging him and praising him when he does not get mad. He had a bad game last weekend because it was very physical and I think he was overreacting because of the sensory stuff. It's just so hard to explain to him that he can't REACT in a negative way. His coach has been awesome...Jayden tried to pull himself out of a game because they were losing and the coach told him to stay in because he was needed. I wish Jayden could see how talented he really is. When J yelled at the refs during a game, his dad and I both took him into the hall to calm him. He was so obsessed with the bad calls (they WERE terrible but we

were trying to focus on the fact that you will run into that and have to just play better) that he could not focus on anything else. It took almost an hour to calm him down enough to where he was able to focus on reality again. At that point I told him he could either apologize to his coach or turn in his uniform. He hid in his hood but he did it. I was proud of him for that. It just makes me sad to see how hard he has to struggle just to do play sports like other kids. I hope it will get easier as he matures because he sure loves to play. As for the ignorant parent, I am just going to let it go for now as she probably has no clue what Aspergers is and wouldn't care if I tried to tell her. The coach and players know and that is enough for me because if she goes to the coach, I am sure he will inform her on why it's none of her business. I am SO thankful he is my son's coach! :)

WindFrom: MacAllister <smacalli@...>Subject: Re: ( ) sports and aspergers Date: Tuesday, March 16, 2010, 12:54 AM

My son has been playing soccer since he was in the 3rd grade (he's in the 8th grade now.) He had a hard time at the beginning with the rules, too, because the rules would change each year. They really focused on skill development and not winning when he was younger but with each year, the rules would change and it was tough for D to adapt. We've had some challenging times, but I am so glad we hung in there! The last 3 coaches he's had have been great. They understood he had some gross motor and communication challenges. The 2nd to the last coach he had was phenomenal. He adapted the way he coached the entire team to allow for the specific way he needed to coach Dylan (touching him on his shoulder to get his attention, was an example) and encouraged all of the kids to be specific if they liked or didn't like something another player was doing. This way, the

way he worked with Dylan didn't stand out. He was just great.

We have a new coach this season and we prepared him and so far, everything has been just fine. Dylan had his best defensive game, maybe ever, last Saturday. To see him out there competing with his peers (and not just being tolerated but being a starter who made big plays to help his team) was a huge triumph for our whole family. My mom and I were beaming on the sidelines. A few parents walked over to us to tell us what a great game he was having. I'm not used to seeing him in an environment with his peers where he stands out as doing something fantastic that's recognized. He has trouble making/keeping meaningful friendships and he struggles with organization at school, but on the soccer field last weekend, he was a star.

I would stick with it. How old is your son? With my son, it seemed like just good old-fashioned maturity would help quite a bit. I'd let the coach take the lead on teaching your son how to behave on the court. If there are things you can do to help reinforce, that would be great, but let the coach handle it. I think it might help and it sounds like you struck gold with him.

About the other parents - I'm not sure how comfortable you feel about this, but consider saying something about your son's communication struggles. You don't have to be specific about his diagnosis (but there's nothing wrong if you are specific.) Whatever makes you feel the most comfortable. I wouldn't worry about other teams, just the parents on your son's team. Maybe the coach would be willing to share some email addresses and you could reach out that way or sit next to them while the team is warming up the next time and share it? From their vantage point, they think it's a lack of discipline. Tell them what's really going on and maybe the light bulb will go off.

Our great coach used to say "The other boys see how hard Dylan is hustling out there and trying to do his best. That will go a long way with them." It seemed like that was the truth. It sounds like your son is a natural athlete so maybe that will be enough for the other boys to be a bit more tolerant too.

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: mommy2threeintheup <mommy2threeintheup> Sent: Mon, March 15, 2010 7:51:39 PMSubject: ( ) sports and aspergers

Do any of your children enjoy sports but have a hard time playing/watching? My son is a great athlete but his knowledge of the rules and wanting them to be followed to his specifications make it very hard for him to actually play. We tried basketball in the past through our church and he was unable to handle it. This year he wanted to play with the boys from school. He's homeschooled and I was leary but I went in to talk to the coach, a dad of 5 boys and now a baby girl. He was willing to read up on Aspergers and has been WONDERFUL with Jayden. J has still had episodes of yelling at refs and getting angry with other kids on the court but his coach just keeps encouraging him. After an explosion during the last tournament, while I was calming J because some well-meaning people were yelling at him to calm down, my boyfriend overheard one of the parents from our team talking to one of the parents from the other team saying he had a poor attitude because

of bad parenting and no discipline. That just makes me SO angry! She was saying that she was going to find a way to have him removed from the team. The coach, bless his heart, actually called ME to see if J wanted to join another league that he's coaching. He is willing to take on all the problems AGAIN...wow! :) How did I get so lucky? I talked to him today and he was telling me that J is one of his best players but also one of his worst because of the attitude but he is willing to help him get past that. I am just hoping someone might have suggestions on how to help him. He has a hard time watching sports on tv because he can't handle if his team gets behind or even if the other team MIGHT score/catch up, etc. He was on prozac for about 5 weeks but got violent (love that when I told the Dr. he said that's common in aspie kids but that the insurance makes them try it first....grrrrrr) so he just started Zoloft Saturday for his obsessions. The doc got

to see the obsession in rare form after a tournament a few weeks ago...every subject ended up coming back to how the refs sucked...and I do mean EVERYTHING. I am hoping the meds might calm him a bit and help with awareness but does anyone else have any suggestions? ? Sorry this turned into a book...also, any suggestions for how to deal with RUDE parents who have NO EXCUSE for their behavior??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

My son will still talk incessantly about bad calls, players who fouled, etc... But his coach would always say "that's just part of the game. It's frustrating, but calls aren't always going to go our way." then he'd tell Dylan to drop it. We took his lead and would do the same thing. We'd let him vent a couple of times, agree that it was a bad call, and then we'd redirect to focus on the good things he did or the good plays of the game. I really think it helped. Give him a few years and I bet he'll improve.Sent via BlackBerry by AT&TFrom: Wind Larson <mommy2threeintheup@...>Date: Tue, 16 Mar 2010 09:18:51 -0700 (PDT)< >Subject: Re: ( ) sports and aspergers , My son is 10 and we have seen some improvement as he gets older with the attitude control. It's still a daily struggle but he does have the support of his teammates. They are awesome with encouraging him and praising him when he does not get mad. He had a bad game last weekend because it was very physical and I think he was overreacting because of the sensory stuff. It's just so hard to explain to him that he can't REACT in a negative way. His coach has been awesome...Jayden tried to pull himself out of a game because they were losing and the coach told him to stay in because he was needed. I wish Jayden could see how talented he really is. When J yelled at the refs during a game, his dad and I both took him into the hall to calm him. He was so obsessed with the bad calls (they WERE terrible but wewere trying to focus on the fact that you will run into that and have to just play better) that he could not focus on anything else. It took almost an hour to calm him down enough to where he was able to focus on reality again. At that point I told him he could either apologize to his coach or turn in his uniform. He hid in his hood but he did it. I was proud of him for that. It just makes me sad to see how hard he has to struggle just to do play sports like other kids. I hope it will get easier as he matures because he sure loves to play. As for the ignorant parent, I am just going to let it go for now as she probably has no clue what Aspergers is and wouldn't care if I tried to tell her. The coach and players know and that is enough for me because if she goes to the coach, I am sure he will inform her on why it's none of her business. I am SO thankful he is my son's coach! :) WindFrom: MacAllister <smacalli >Subject: Re: ( ) sports and aspergers Date: Tuesday, March 16, 2010, 12:54 AM My son has been playing soccer since he was in the 3rd grade (he's in the 8th grade now.) He had a hard time at the beginning with the rules, too, because the rules would change each year. They really focused on skill development and not winning when he was younger but with each year, the rules would change and it was tough for D to adapt. We've had some challenging times, but I am so glad we hung in there! The last 3 coaches he's had have been great. They understood he had some gross motor and communication challenges. The 2nd to the last coach he had was phenomenal. He adapted the way he coached the entire team to allow for the specific way he needed to coach Dylan (touching him on his shoulder to get his attention, was an example) and encouraged all of the kids to be specific if they liked or didn't like something another player was doing. This way, theway he worked with Dylan didn't stand out. He was just great. We have a new coach this season and we prepared him and so far, everything has been just fine. Dylan had his best defensive game, maybe ever, last Saturday. To see him out there competing with his peers (and not just being tolerated but being a starter who made big plays to help his team) was a huge triumph for our whole family. My mom and I were beaming on the sidelines. A few parents walked over to us to tell us what a great game he was having. I'm not used to seeing him in an environment with his peers where he stands out as doing something fantastic that's recognized. He has trouble making/keeping meaningful friendships and he struggles with organization at school, but on the soccer field last weekend, he was a star. I would stick with it. How old is your son? With my son, it seemed like just good old-fashioned maturity would help quite a bit. I'd let the coach take the lead on teaching your son how to behave on the court. If there are things you can do to help reinforce, that would be great, but let the coach handle it. I think it might help and it sounds like you struck gold with him. About the other parents - I'm not sure how comfortable you feel about this, but consider saying something about your son's communication struggles. You don't have to be specific about his diagnosis (but there's nothing wrong if you are specific.) Whatever makes you feel the most comfortable. I wouldn't worry about other teams, just the parents on your son's team. Maybe the coach would be willing to share some email addresses and you could reach out that way or sit next to them while the team is warming up the next time and share it? From their vantage point, they think it's a lack of discipline. Tell them what's really going on and maybe the light bulb will go off. Our great coach used to say "The other boys see how hard Dylan is hustling out there and trying to do his best. That will go a long way with them." It seemed like that was the truth. It sounds like your son is a natural athlete so maybe that will be enough for the other boys to be a bit more tolerant too. "Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out." From: mommy2threeintheup <mommy2threeintheup> Sent: Mon, March 15, 2010 7:51:39 PMSubject: ( ) sports and aspergers Do any of your children enjoy sports but have a hard time playing/watching? My son is a great athlete but his knowledge of the rules and wanting them to be followed to his specifications make it very hard for him to actually play. We tried basketball in the past through our church and he was unable to handle it. This year he wanted to play with the boys from school. He's homeschooled and I was leary but I went in to talk to the coach, a dad of 5 boys and now a baby girl. He was willing to read up on Aspergers and has been WONDERFUL with Jayden. J has still had episodes of yelling at refs and getting angry with other kids on the court but his coach just keeps encouraging him. After an explosion during the last tournament, while I was calming J because some well-meaning people were yelling at him to calm down, my boyfriend overheard one of the parents from our team talking to one of the parents from the other team saying he had a poor attitude becauseof bad parenting and no discipline. That just makes me SO angry! She was saying that she was going to find a way to have him removed from the team. The coach, bless his heart, actually called ME to see if J wanted to join another league that he's coaching. He is willing to take on all the problems AGAIN...wow! :) How did I get so lucky? I talked to him today and he was telling me that J is one of his best players but also one of his worst because of the attitude but he is willing to help him get past that. I am just hoping someone might have suggestions on how to help him. He has a hard time watching sports on tv because he can't handle if his team gets behind or even if the other team MIGHT score/catch up, etc. He was on prozac for about 5 weeks but got violent (love that when I told the Dr. he said that's common in aspie kids but that the insurance makes them try it first....grrrrrr) so he just started Zoloft Saturday for his obsessions. The doc gotto see the obsession in rare form after a tournament a few weeks ago...every subject ended up coming back to how the refs sucked...and I do mean EVERYTHING. I am hoping the meds might calm him a bit and help with awareness but does anyone else have any suggestions? ? Sorry this turned into a book...also, any suggestions for how to deal with RUDE parents who have NO EXCUSE for their behavior??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

I think I would just keep saying to him, "That's right (the ref's do suck) but that is part of the game." Eventually, he will hopefully say that internally and slow it down. Keep going! Also remind him that there is going to be another game - this game is not the final game ever played. More games, more times to play and score and more ref's who will make some dubious calls because they are human, too (so we think, lol). If he really gets stuck on calls while watching the games, I would have him keep track with a tally mark - "calls that were good for my team" and "calls that were bad for my team" so he can see that it's not just bad calls (calls against his team.) You could also branch out from there while watching games on tv and discuss, "Do you think that call was accurate?" Watch the replay and see if the ref was right, regardless of the team.

The Zoloft should really help a lot if it's the right med for him. When my oldest was a little guy, we started on Zoloft and it was the perfect med for him. He was able to finally do so many things that he could not do before and his obsessions slowed so much. Once he learned that he could do things, he was able to DO things without getting upset every time. And that had a cumulative effect. The more positive experiences he had, the more he could do. So hopefully, if the meds work and you and the coach and team mates keep pushing him to let it go and move on, he will learn that it's a game and some calls are going to be bad ones, etc.

Other parents - I don't know what to do about people because they just see the event and do not realize all the problems going on within. So you either educate them or ignore them. Looks like the coach is on your side so that is the best thing. You might talk to the other kids on the team and explain what AS is and how it affects your ds so that they understand and can help reinforce what you are doing. Also, they might tell mom and dad to lay off and explain why.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) sports and aspergers

Do any of your children enjoy sports but have a hard time playing/watching? My son is a great athlete but his knowledge of the rules and wanting them to be followed to his specifications make it very hard for him to actually play. We tried basketball in the past through our church and he was unable to handle it. This year he wanted to play with the boys from school. He's homeschooled and I was leary but I went in to talk to the coach, a dad of 5 boys and now a baby girl. He was willing to read up on Aspergers and has been WONDERFUL with Jayden. J has still had episodes of yelling at refs and getting angry with other kids on the court but his coach just keeps encouraging him. After an explosion during the last tournament, while I was calming J because some well-meaning people were yelling at him to calm down, my boyfriend overheard one of the parents from our team talking to one of the parents from the other team saying he had a poor attitude because of bad par

enting and no discipline. That just makes me SO angry! She was saying that she was going to find a way to have him removed from the team. The coach, bless his heart, actually called ME to see if J wanted to join another league that he's coaching. He is willing to take on all the problems AGAIN...wow! :) How did I get so lucky? I talked to him today and he was telling me that J is one of his best players but also one of his worst because of the attitude but he is willing to help him get past that. I am just hoping someone might have suggestions on how to help him. He has a hard time watching sports on tv because he can't handle if his team gets behind or even if the other team MIGHT score/catch up, etc. He was on prozac for about 5 weeks but got violent (love that when I told the Dr. he said that's common in aspie kids but that the insurance makes them try it first....grrrrrr) so he just started Zoloft Saturday for his obsessions. The doc got to see the obsession i

n rare form after a tournament a few weeks ago...every subject ended up coming back to how the refs sucked...and I do mean EVERYTHING. I am hoping the meds might calm him a bit and help with awareness but does anyone else have any suggestions?? Sorry this turned into a book...also, any suggestions for how to deal with RUDE parents who have NO EXCUSE for their behavior??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

My daughter plays ice hockey and it has been great for her and the coaches. THEY are learning about Aspergers and have been amazing with her (i'm tearing up I'm so thrilled about it) Caitlin also takes zoloft which has helped a lot with her anxiety. She has pretty severe anxiety. I believe that it takes a great coach to help these kids through. I got this email from her last night "Thanks, . Theresa (the other coach of the Yellow team) and I are more than willing and happy to work with Caitlin. She's been trying very hard, and we've found her to be a very bright and engaging young lady. We want this to be a positive experience for her as well as for her teammates."Wow, someone finally sees what my husband and I see all the time!! :-D Anyway we had to do the same thing with Caitlin about learning about refs and that in Hockey there is a lot of bumping and falling and tripping. But to know the difference between a good play and a bad one and then accepting that sometimes things dont go our way. Its so hard for these kids that are so logical. And she will get in that kids face and tell them off. And always my biggest fear is another coach or parent will come scream at me. That happened in the beginning of this year. A coach who had no idea about Caitlin starting screaming at me about her being violent and swearing (she said stupid, I was annoyed he told me she was swearing, I was more mad about that than about her having a meltdown) Anyway its much better now, Theres a good book thats a real quick read called "Can I tell you about Aspergers" GREAT book! And all the coaches have been reading it, very short quick read but gives TONS of information!! On Mar 17, 2010, at 6:52 AM, Roxanna wrote:

I think I would just keep saying to him, "That's right (the ref's do suck) but that is part of the game." Eventually, he will hopefully say that internally and slow it down. Keep going! Also remind him that there is going to be another game - this game is not the final game ever played. More games, more times to play and score and more ref's who will make some dubious calls because they are human, too (so we think, lol). If he really gets stuck on calls while watching the games, I would have him keep track with a tally mark - "calls that were good for my team" and "calls that were bad for my team" so he can see that it's not just bad calls (calls against his team.) You could also branch out from there while watching games on tv and discuss, "Do you think that call was accurate?" Watch the replay and see if the ref was right, regardless of the team.

The Zoloft should really help a lot if it's the right med for him. When my oldest was a little guy, we started on Zoloft and it was the perfect med for him. He was able to finally do so many things that he could not do before and his obsessions slowed so much. Once he learned that he could do things, he was able to DO things without getting upset every time. And that had a cumulative effect. The more positive experiences he had, the more he could do. So hopefully, if the meds work and you and the coach and team mates keep pushing him to let it go and move on, he will learn that it's a game and some calls are going to be bad ones, etc.

Other parents - I don't know what to do about people because they just see the event and do not realize all the problems going on within. So you either educate them or ignore them. Looks like the coach is on your side so that is the best thing. You might talk to the other kids on the team and explain what AS is and how it affects your ds so that they understand and can help reinforce what you are doing. Also, they might tell mom and dad to lay off and explain why.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) sports and aspergers

Do any of your children enjoy sports but have a hard time playing/watching? My son is a great athlete but his knowledge of the rules and wanting them to be followed to his specifications make it very hard for him to actually play. We tried basketball in the past through our church and he was unable to handle it. This year he wanted to play with the boys from school. He's homeschooled and I was leary but I went in to talk to the coach, a dad of 5 boys and now a baby girl. He was willing to read up on Aspergers and has been WONDERFUL with Jayden. J has still had episodes of yelling at refs and getting angry with other kids on the court but his coach just keeps encouraging him. After an explosion during the last tournament, while I was calming J because some well-meaning people were yelling at him to calm down, my boyfriend overheard one of the parents from our team talking to one of the parents from the other team saying he had a poor attitude because of bad par

enting and no discipline. That just makes me SO angry! She was saying that she was going to find a way to have him removed from the team. The coach, bless his heart, actually called ME to see if J wanted to join another league that he's coaching. He is willing to take on all the problems AGAIN...wow! :) How did I get so lucky? I talked to him today and he was telling me that J is one of his best players but also one of his worst because of the attitude but he is willing to help him get past that. I am just hoping someone might have suggestions on how to help him. He has a hard time watching sports on tv because he can't handle if his team gets behind or even if the other team MIGHT score/catch up, etc. He was on prozac for about 5 weeks but got violent (love that when I told the Dr. he said that's common in aspie kids but that the insurance makes them try it first....grrrrrr) so he just started Zoloft Saturday for his obsessions. The doc got to see the obsession i

n rare form after a tournament a few weeks ago...every subject ended up coming back to how the refs sucked...and I do mean EVERYTHING. I am hoping the meds might calm him a bit and help with awareness but does anyone else have any suggestions?? Sorry this turned into a book...also, any suggestions for how to deal with RUDE parents who have NO EXCUSE for their behavior??

“Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” - Steve Jobs

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

That's why sports is such a great teacher for life. It's not always fair and not always perfect. GeoFrom: "smacalli@..." <smacalli@...> Sent: Tue, March 16, 2010 4:54:51 PMSubject: Re: ( ) sports and aspergers

My son will still talk incessantly about bad calls, players who fouled, etc... But his coach would always say "that's just part of the game. It's frustrating, but calls aren't always going to go our way." then he'd tell Dylan to drop it. We took his lead and would do the same thing. We'd let him vent a couple of times, agree that it was a bad call, and then we'd redirect to focus on the good things he did or the good plays of the game. I really think it helped. Give him a few years and I bet he'll improve.Sent via BlackBerry by AT & TFrom: Wind Larson <mommy2threeintheup>

Date: Tue, 16 Mar 2010 09:18:51 -0700 (PDT)< >Subject: Re: ( ) sports and aspergers

, My son is 10 and we have seen some improvement as he gets older with the attitude control. It's still a daily struggle but he does have the support of his teammates. They are awesome with encouraging him and praising him when he does not get mad. He had a bad game last weekend because it was very physical and I think he was overreacting because of the sensory stuff. It's just so hard to explain to him that he can't REACT in a negative way. His coach has been awesome...Jayden tried to pull himself out of a game because they were losing and the coach told him to stay in because he was needed. I wish Jayden could see how talented he really is. When J

yelled at the refs during a game, his dad and I both took him into the hall to calm him. He was so obsessed with the bad calls (they WERE terrible but we

were trying to focus on the fact that you will run into that and have to just play better) that he could not focus on anything else. It took almost an hour to calm him down enough to where he was able to focus on reality again. At that point I told him he could either apologize to his coach or turn in his uniform. He hid in his hood but he did it. I was proud of him for that. It just makes me sad to see how hard he has to struggle just to do play sports like other kids. I hope it will get easier as he matures because he sure loves to play. As for the ignorant parent, I am just going to let it go for now as she probably has no clue what Aspergers is and wouldn't care if I tried to tell her. The coach and players know and that is enough for me because if she goes to the coach, I am sure he will inform her on why it's none of her business. I am SO thankful he is my son's coach! :)

WindFrom: MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) sports and aspergers Date: Tuesday, March 16, 2010, 12:54 AM

My son has been playing soccer since he was in the 3rd grade (he's in the 8th grade now.) He had a hard time at the beginning with the rules, too, because the rules would change each year. They really focused on skill development and not winning when he was younger but with each year, the rules would change and it was tough for D to adapt. We've had some challenging times, but I am so glad we hung in there! The last 3 coaches he's had have been great. They understood he had some gross motor and communication challenges. The 2nd to the last coach he had was phenomenal. He adapted the way he coached the entire team to allow for the specific way he needed to coach Dylan (touching him on his shoulder to get his attention, was an example) and encouraged all of the kids to be specific if they liked or didn't like something another player was doing. This way, the

way he worked with Dylan didn't stand out. He was just great.

We have a new coach this season and we prepared him and so far, everything has been just fine. Dylan had his best defensive game, maybe ever, last Saturday. To see him out there competing with his peers (and not just being tolerated but being a starter who made big plays to help his team) was a huge triumph for our whole family. My mom and I were beaming on the sidelines. A few parents walked over to us to tell us what a great game he was having. I'm not used to seeing him in an environment with his peers where he stands out as doing something fantastic that's recognized. He has trouble making/keeping meaningful friendships and he struggles with organization at school, but on the soccer field last weekend, he was a star.

I would stick with it. How old is your son? With my son, it seemed like just good old-fashioned maturity would help quite a bit. I'd let the coach take the lead on teaching your son how to behave on the court. If there are things you can do to help reinforce, that would be great, but let the coach handle it. I think it might help and it sounds like you struck gold with him.

About the other parents - I'm not sure how comfortable you feel about this, but consider saying something about your son's communication struggles. You don't have to be specific about his diagnosis (but there's nothing wrong if you are specific.) Whatever makes you feel the most comfortable. I wouldn't worry about other teams, just the parents on your son's team. Maybe the coach would be willing to share some email addresses and you could reach out that way or sit next to them while the team is warming up the next time and share it? From their vantage point, they think it's a lack of discipline. Tell them what's really going on and maybe the light bulb will go off.

Our great coach used to say "The other boys see how hard Dylan is hustling out there and trying to do his best. That will go a long way with them." It seemed like that was the truth. It sounds like your son is a natural athlete so maybe that will be enough for the other boys to be a bit more tolerant too.

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: mommy2threeintheup <mommy2threeintheup> Sent: Mon, March 15, 2010 7:51:39 PMSubject: ( ) sports and aspergers

Do any of your children enjoy sports but have a hard time playing/watching? My son is a great athlete but his knowledge of the rules and wanting them to be followed to his specifications make it very hard for him to actually play. We tried basketball in the past through our church and he was unable to handle it. This year he wanted to play with the boys from school. He's homeschooled and I was leary but I went in to talk to the coach, a dad of 5 boys and now a baby girl. He was willing to read up on Aspergers and has been WONDERFUL with Jayden. J has still had episodes of yelling at refs and getting angry with other kids on the court but his coach just keeps encouraging him. After an explosion during the last tournament, while I was calming J because some well-meaning people were yelling at him to calm down, my boyfriend overheard one of the parents from our team talking to one of the parents from the other team saying he had a poor attitude because

of bad parenting and no discipline. That just makes me SO angry! She was saying that she was going to find a way to have him removed from the team. The coach, bless his heart, actually called ME to see if J wanted to join another league that he's coaching. He is willing to take on all the problems AGAIN...wow! :) How did I get so lucky? I talked to him today and he was telling me that J is one of his best players but also one of his worst because of the attitude but he is willing to help him get past that. I am just hoping someone might have suggestions on how to help him. He has a hard time watching sports on tv because he can't handle if his team gets behind or even if the other team MIGHT score/catch up, etc. He was on prozac for about 5 weeks but got violent (love that when I told the Dr. he said that's common in aspie kids but that the insurance makes them try it first....grrrrrr) so he just started Zoloft Saturday for his obsessions. The doc got

to see the obsession in rare form after a tournament a few weeks ago...every subject ended up coming back to how the refs sucked...and I do mean EVERYTHING. I am hoping the meds might calm him a bit and help with awareness but does anyone else have any suggestions? ? Sorry this turned into a book...also, any suggestions for how to deal with RUDE parents who have NO EXCUSE for their behavior??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

We have that book and I also gave it to Jayden's coach before the season. :) I gave it to his teacher last year too but apparently his coach is smarter and more interested in learning hen his teacher was. I am SOOOO thankful for his coach! We will keep working on the control with the refs and other kids...I am just glad to see he's not the only one doing these things. Thanks for helping with my sanity!!Wind

I think I would just keep saying to him, "That's right (the ref's do suck) but that is part of the game." Eventually, he will hopefully say that internally and slow it down. Keep going! Also remind him that there is going to be another game - this game is not the final game ever played. More games, more times to play and score and more ref's who will make some dubious calls because they are human, too (so we think, lol). If he really gets stuck on calls while watching the games, I would have him keep track with a tally mark - "calls that were good for my team" and "calls that were bad for my team" so he can see that it's not just bad calls (calls against his team.) You could also branch out from there while watching

games on tv and discuss, "Do you think that call was accurate?" Watch the replay and see if the ref was right, regardless of the team.

The Zoloft should really help a lot if it's the right med for him. When my oldest was a little guy, we started on Zoloft and it was the perfect med for him. He was able to finally do so many things that he could not do before and his obsessions slowed so much. Once he learned that he could do things, he was able to DO things without getting upset every time. And that had a cumulative effect. The more positive experiences he had, the more he could do. So hopefully, if the meds work and you and the coach and team mates keep pushing him to let it go and move on, he will learn that it's a game and some calls are going to be bad ones, etc.

Other parents - I don't know what to do about people because they just see the event and do not realize all the problems going on within. So you either educate them or ignore them. Looks like the coach is on your side so that is the best thing. You might talk to the other kids on the team and explain what AS is and how it affects your ds so that they understand and can help reinforce what you are doing. Also, they might tell mom and dad to lay off and explain why.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) sports and aspergers

Do any of your children enjoy sports but have a hard time playing/watching? My son is a great athlete but his knowledge of the rules and wanting them to be followed to his specifications make it very hard for him to actually play. We tried basketball in the past through our church and he was unable to handle it. This year he wanted to play with the boys from school. He's homeschooled and I was leary but I went in to talk to the coach, a dad of 5 boys and now a baby girl. He was willing to read up on Aspergers and has been WONDERFUL with Jayden. J has still had episodes of yelling at refs and getting angry with other kids on the court but his coach just keeps encouraging him. After an explosion during the last tournament, while I was calming J because some well-meaning people were yelling at him to calm down, my boyfriend overheard one of the parents from our team talking to one of the parents from the other team saying he had a poor attitude

because of bad par

enting and no discipline. That just makes me SO angry! She was saying that she was going to find a way to have him removed from the team. The coach, bless his heart, actually called ME to see if J wanted to join another league that he's coaching. He is willing to take on all the problems AGAIN...wow! :) How did I get so lucky? I talked to him today and he was telling me that J is one of his best players but also one of his worst because of the attitude but he is willing to help him get past that. I am just hoping someone might have suggestions on how to help him. He has a hard time watching sports on tv because he can't handle if his team gets behind or even if the other team MIGHT score/catch up, etc. He was on prozac for about 5 weeks but got violent (love that when I told the Dr. he said that's common in aspie kids but that the insurance makes them try it first....grrrrrr) so he just started Zoloft Saturday for his obsessions. The doc got

to see the obsession i

n rare form after a tournament a few weeks ago...every subject ended up coming back to how the refs sucked...and I do mean EVERYTHING. I am hoping the meds might calm him a bit and help with awareness but does anyone else have any suggestions? ? Sorry this turned into a book...also, any suggestions for how to deal with RUDE parents who have NO EXCUSE for their behavior??

“Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.†- Steve Jobs

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...