Re: Transition to high school

[Guest guest]

Maybe your son needs a challenge, the school work might be to easy for him, so he becomes bored easily. This was the issue with my daughter (non aspie). My first thought, if your son can do the school work without any frustration or struggles, than look into getting him tested or have his teachers bump up the grade level on his school work.

Dawn

[Guest guest]

Hi Kylie,There are plenty of tech schools or computer schools that may spark his interest. If he goes to college and doesn't do well, he may drop out. We raised my nephew from his early teen years and although he had a high IQ and scored 1490 of 1600 on his SATs, he was getting Cs and Ds in his school work because he was too lazy to do his homework, yet scored high on his tests. He got a 5 year scholarship based on his SAT scores in engineering from a top notch university on the east coast here, but dropped out after his second semester. He had the same practices as in high school and wouldn't do his homework or study, very unmotivated. He then went to a computer programming school for about a year and got straight As. The school doesn't help you find a job as promised so I was on him to search for work and

bug their placement office constantly. He finally got hired by QVC and worked his way up to a good position making big bucks. In his mid 20s, he found out he was bipolar which helped us understand his highs and lows. There are many computer companies in your state and your son could probably even intern at one of them during the summer in his later high school years. Maybe he can even visit and talk with one of these schools or companies now to motivate him. Some of the community colleges have a test that would help determine his interests and you could get a list of their curriculums to see what might spark his interests. Good luck,GenFrom: KylieM <kyliemonty@...>Subject: ( )

Transition to high school Date: Tuesday, February 2, 2010, 2:58 PM

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.

He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college this year)

He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.

I have given him the option of online/homeschoolin g, but he does have some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL"

He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Kylie in CA.

[Guest guest]

I think planning for one's future is hard. He may have no clue what he

wants to do or which route to take. You might help him explore career

options over the next few years so he starts to think about what he is

good at and what he would like to do. School may be very boring. I

thought it was. My two ds's who both e-school now are really tough

because they find it so dull. Make sure the classes are challenging

enough. Then if they are, find other ways to spark his excitement

(weekend trip to a waterpark for an A in class, video rentals for a

successful week, whatever things are important enough to him to

motivate.) Motivation is a tough one and I am in the same boat with

mine.

Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

( ) Transition to high school

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.

He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He

can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the

prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career

aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college

this year)

He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades

initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.

I have given him the option of online/homeschooling, but he does have

some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have

looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still

SCHOOL "

He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual

activities.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Kylie in CA.

[Guest guest]

I don't have the answer for you but I will share our strategy with this same

problem. It is so typical of kids with learning issues to not want to go to

school. And it is so typical of AS kids to have executive skill deficits

(attention, planning, organization and motivation).

I have advocated I have my daughter in a special needs school.

She still complains that she doesn't like school. Her learning disabilities make

school such a chore and her social anxiety makes being in a group difficult.

But this is my plan is to keep her in special education schools and

continue to find ways to cope with her issues. Otherwise it will

just be avoidance. In special needs schools they have transitional

programs, they teach the kids to learn how to get around on buses,

how to apply for jobs, go to college if they want etc.

I see much academic progress in the special needs school and she is being social

when she is in the school. She complains and agonizes

a lot though.

It is not easy though to cope with all the complaints. But this is a treatment

plan that I have in place for her. And we have to just cope with the complaints

and treat the anxiety.

Good luck,

Pam

>

> My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.

>

> He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see

no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more

years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to

college,(his sister started college this year)

>

> He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially,

but we are not seeing the same benefits now.

>

> I have given him the option of online/homeschooling, but he does have some

friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private

schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL "

>

> He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities.

>

> Does anyone have any suggestions?

>

> Kylie in CA.

>

[Guest guest]

What are his interests? What does he do outside of school? I think that you need to work very closely with guidance or his case manager at the high school to find things he is interested. My son went through a very similar rough patch in 9th grade. He found the music program at the high school, had some excellent teachers/mentors, and made a lot of friends. He did a complete turn around. Would your son have any interest in entering a vocational program? FYI, just keep in mind that depression can look very different in children or young adults. You may want to have him evaluated just in case. Pam

In a message dated 2/2/2010 3:02:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kyliemonty@... writes:

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college this year)He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.I have given him the option of online/homeschooling, but he does have some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL"He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities. Does anyone have any suggestions? Kylie in CA.

[Guest guest]

Oh my...you son sounds just like mine. My son is 14 and hates...hates...hates school. He is moody to us (his parents). His only interest is being with the few friends he has. If they can't come over ...he gets totally depressed. We can't even talk about school at home. Homework...forget it. He says he is in school for 7 hours...so when he comes home it is relaxation time. He sleeps ALOT! He claims he is not depressed...just tired. He is going thru a lot of physical changes from boy to man. His body has really changed...he grew 3 inches over the summer...he is now about 5'8" or 9" .....and he only turned 14 in October and is in 8th grade. He has no ambition ...no real hobbies...except xbox.

At home, he is nasty to us...and to be truthful...i feel like giving up. I just want to throw my hands up in the air. Let him take care of himself because he is so nasty to me. The only time he is nice is when he wants something...so now I don't do anything for him. I told him when he can be nice and polite to me...then I will do for him.

This is so difficult. I never in my life expected anything like this. To bring a child into this world, love him, nuture him and have him turn out like this...mean to me, nasty and angry all the time. When he comes home from school....he doesn't want anyone to talk to him...he is stressed and overwhelmed...he goes to his room and shuts the door...no hello ...nothing. But, he goes in and texts his few friends. I don't bother him any more when he comes back from school...I wait for him to come to me. So odd and so strange and so hurtful....

jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: "ppanda65@..." <ppanda65@...> Sent: Fri, February 26, 2010 7:51:26 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school

What are his interests? What does he do outside of school? I think that you need to work very closely with guidance or his case manager at the high school to find things he is interested. My son went through a very similar rough patch in 9th grade. He found the music program at the high school, had some excellent teachers/mentors, and made a lot of friends. He did a complete turn around. Would your son have any interest in entering a vocational program? FYI, just keep in mind that depression can look very different in children or young adults. You may want to have him evaluated just in case. Pam

In a message dated 2/2/2010 3:02:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kyliemonty (DOT) com writes:

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college this year)He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.I have given him the option of online/homeschoolin g, but he does have some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL"He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities. Does anyone have any suggestions? Kylie in CA.

[Guest guest]

((((hugs)))), Jan. Over my time on

this forum you have been a fantastic support and my heart goes out to you.

Nothing lasts forever, and nor will this. You have fought tooth and nail for your

son over the years, been his advocate and mentor. Somewhere deep inside his adolescent head

he knows that. I am sure at 14 my

daily endurance battles simply to exist and survive the school day overshadowed

my relationships at home and probably made me pretty unbearable too. I don’t know many adults who would

choose to re-live their early/mid teenage years.

(((hugs)))

a

-----Original

Message-----

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of rushen janice

Sent: 26 February 2010 14:50

To:

Subject: Re: ( )

Transition to high school

Oh

my...you son sounds just like mine. My son is 14 and hates...hates...hates

school. He is moody to us (his parents). His only interest is being

with the few friends he has. If they can't come over ...he gets totally

depressed. We can't even talk about school at home. Homework...forget

it. He says he is in school for 7 hours...so when he comes home it is

relaxation time. He sleeps ALOT! He claims he is not depressed...just

tired. He is going thru a lot of physical changes from boy to

man. His body has really changed...he grew 3 inches over the summer...he

is now about 5'8 " or 9 " .....and he only turned 14 in October and is

in 8th grade. He has no ambition ...no real hobbies...except xbox.

At

home, he is nasty to us...and to be truthful...i feel like giving

up. I just want to throw my hands up in the air. Let

him take care of himself because he is so nasty to me. The only time

he is nice is when he wants something...so now I don't do anything for

him. I told him when he can be nice and polite to me...then I will

do for him.

This

is so difficult. I never in my life expected anything like this. To

bring a child into this world, love him, nuture him and have him turn out like

this...mean to me, nasty and angry all the time. When he comes

home from school....he doesn't want anyone to talk to him...he is stressed

and overwhelmed...he goes to his room and shuts the door...no hello

....nothing. But, he goes in and texts his few friends. I

don't bother him any more when he comes back from school...I wait for

him to come to me. So odd and so strange and so hurtful....

jan

<font

face= " arial black " color= " #bf00bf " >Janice

Rushen</font>

<font

face= " Arial Black "

color= " #bf00bf " ></font> & nbsp;

<em><font

face= " Arial Black " color= " #7f007f " > " I will try to

be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope " </font></em>

From:

" ppanda65aol " <ppanda65aol>

Sent: Fri, February 26, 2010

7:51:26 AM

Subject: Re: ( )

Transition to high school

What

are his interests? What does he do outside of school? I think that

you need to work very closely with guidance or his case manager at the high

school to find things he is interested. My son went through a very

similar rough patch in 9th grade. He found the music program at the high

school, had some excellent teachers/mentors, and made a lot of friends.

He did a complete turn around. Would your son have any interest in

entering a vocational program? FYI, just keep in mind that depression can

look very different in children or young adults. You may want to have him

evaluated just in case. Pam

In a

message dated 2/2/2010 3:02:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kyliemonty (DOT)

com writes:

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in

planning for high school or beyond.

He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see

no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more

years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to

college,(his sister started college this year)

He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but

we are not seeing the same benefits now.

I have given him the option of online/homeschoolin g, but he does have some

friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private

schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL "

He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Kylie in CA.

[Guest guest]

a....bless you and all of you ...at each stage it can be so difficult. This age is hard and I have gotten very depressed...but it is only thru all of you that I continue. I have been dreaming of dying....not sure i could do it...but some times life is so cruel and hard and losing my dad and Poppy and my dear boss, Rosie...has taken it toll on me. And, on top of all this my son is now going thru adolescents...which is not like what my friends deal with. They do not understnad and never can. They tell me...oh we know all about it...i feel like SCREAMING ...NO YOU DON"T. YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!!! bUT what would be the point. I have basically lost my frineds..especially my best firend and that hurts...but i have made a new friend across the street and she doesn't judge me or brag about her kids...she has problems and doesn't undermind mine. People can be so cruel...but I do know one thing...I have

all of you.

Right now I have been adovcating for my student who i have worked with for 4 years. He is a senior now ...he doesn't have AS but other things...i am really going to miss him when he graduates in June as well as many of the kids in his class.

Thanks for the kind words...they surely do help.

Jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: a <paulahenderson@...> Sent: Fri, February 26, 2010 11:55:45 AMSubject: RE: ( ) Transition to high school

((((hugs)))), Jan. Over my time on this forum you have been a fantastic support and my heart goes out to you.

Nothing lasts forever, and nor will this. You have fought tooth and nail for your son over the years, been his advocate and mentor. Somewhere deep inside his adolescent head he knows that. I am sure at 14 my daily endurance battles simply to exist and survive the school day overshadowed my relationships at home and probably made me pretty unbearable too. I don’t know many adults who would choose to re-live their early/mid teenage years.

(((hugs)))

a

Re: ( ) Transition to high school

What are his interests? What does he do outside of school? I think that you need to work very closely with guidance or his case manager at the high school to find things he is interested. My son went through a very similar rough patch in 9th grade. He found the music program at the high school, had some excellent teachers/mentors, and made a lot of friends. He did a complete turn around. Would your son have any interest in entering a vocational program? FYI, just keep in mind that depression can look very different in children or young adults. You may want to have him evaluated just in case. Pam

In a message dated 2/2/2010 3:02:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kyliemonty (DOT) com writes:

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college this year)He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.I have given him the option of online/homeschoolin g, but he does have some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL"He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities. Does anyone have any suggestions? Kylie in

CA.

[Guest guest]

Jan, hang in there!! Puberty can be so awful to deal with. Maybe talk to the med doc about changing or adjusting his meds? You might want to see a doc for depression yourself. It is certainly difficult to deal with a child who has problems and it IS depressing to deal with it and lose your friends, etc. I know how you feel exactly - certainly been there with friends who don't get it. My older ds had a horrible time through puberty and I just thought things would never get better. But he came out the other side as a pretty nice guy. So it can happen! Have hope! My now 13 yo is just so difficult sometimes. Then he has times where he is not too bad. We started a new med which has really helped so far. You have to find the right one and that is hard.

Roxanna

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E. Burke

Re: ( ) Transition to high school

What are his interests? What does he do outside of school? I think that you need to work very closely with guidance or his case manager at the high school to find things he is interested. My son went through a very similar rough patch in 9th grade. He found the music program at the high school, had some excellent teachers/mentors, and made a lot of friends. He did a complete turn around. Would your son have any interest in entering a vocational program? FYI, just keep in mind that depression can look very different in children or young adults. You may want to have him evaluated just in case. Pam

In a message dated 2/2/2010 3:02:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kyliemonty (DOT) com writes:

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.

He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college this year)

He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.

I have given him the option of online/homeschoolin g, but he does have some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL"

He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Kylie in

CA.

[Guest guest]

Hi - my son is only 9 and I thought I was a bad mum. He constantly swears at me and in my presence (like when playing on the playstation) even though he knows I absolutely abhor it. Getting him to do his homework is like pulling teeth. I usually give up because of the screaming tirades. When I can get him to do homework it is such a huge chore that in the end he has manipuled me into doing it for him. Which I usually resist. We are about to move from one side of Melbourne to another and its stressing me no end. Have to look at starting another support network both for me and him.

From: rushen janice <jrushen@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school Received: Saturday, 27 February, 2010, 1:50 AM

Oh my...you son sounds just like mine. My son is 14 and hates...hates. ..hates school. He is moody to us (his parents). His only interest is being with the few friends he has. If they can't come over ...he gets totally depressed. We can't even talk about school at home. Homework...forget it. He says he is in school for 7 hours...so when he comes home it is relaxation time. He sleeps ALOT! He claims he is not depressed... just tired. He is going thru a lot of physical changes from boy to man. His body has really changed...he grew 3 inches over the summer...he is now about 5'8" or 9" .....and he only turned 14 in October and is in 8th grade. He has no ambition ...no real hobbies...except xbox.

At home, he is nasty to us...and to be truthful...i feel like giving up. I just want to throw my hands up in the air. Let him take care of himself because he is so nasty to me. The only time he is nice is when he wants something... so now I don't do anything for him. I told him when he can be nice and polite to me...then I will do for him.

This is so difficult. I never in my life expected anything like this. To bring a child into this world, love him, nuture him and have him turn out like this...mean to me, nasty and angry all the time. When he comes home from school....he doesn't want anyone to talk to him...he is stressed and overwhelmed. ..he goes to his room and shuts the door...no hello ...nothing. But, he goes in and texts his few friends. I don't bother him any more when he comes back from school...I wait for him to come to me. So odd and so strange and so hurtful....

jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: "ppanda65aol (DOT) com" <ppanda65aol (DOT) com> Sent: Fri, February 26, 2010 7:51:26 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school

What are his interests? What does he do outside of school? I think that you need to work very closely with guidance or his case manager at the high school to find things he is interested. My son went through a very similar rough patch in 9th grade. He found the music program at the high school, had some excellent teachers/mentors, and made a lot of friends. He did a complete turn around. Would your son have any interest in entering a vocational program? FYI, just keep in mind that depression can look very different in children or young adults. You may want to have him evaluated just in case. Pam

In a message dated 2/2/2010 3:02:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kyliemonty (DOT) com writes:

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college this year)He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.I have given him the option of online/homeschoolin g, but he does have some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL"He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities. Does anyone have any suggestions? Kylie in CA.

[Guest guest]

Thank you Roxanna...I have been having dreams about dying lately but you guys help me...it has all been so difficult...so many things...I realized that my husband is AS too and realize now why he is so "different" ...odd to many...and why he is not compassionate...or can't help me emtoional as he doesn't know how. I am so lonely ...i am going back to therapy and hopefully this will help...my son is also going back to the doctor. My husband is taking him but I will write a note so that my husband doesn't have to worry about remember all the things I want to say....

I pray each day for the strength to go on....

Jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: Roxanna <MadIdeas@...> Sent: Fri, February 26, 2010 8:42:23 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school

Jan, hang in there!! Puberty can be so awful to deal with. Maybe talk to the med doc about changing or adjusting his meds? You might want to see a doc for depression yourself. It is certainly difficult to deal with a child who has problems and it IS depressing to deal with it and lose your friends, etc. I know how you feel exactly - certainly been there with friends who don't get it. My older ds had a horrible time through puberty and I just thought things would never get better. But he came out the other side as a pretty nice guy. So it can happen! Have hope! My now 13 yo is just so difficult sometimes. Then he has times where he is not too bad. We started a new med which has really helped so far. You have to find the right one and that is hard.

Roxanna"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E. Burke

Re: ( ) Transition to high school

What are his interests? What does he do outside of school? I think that you need to work very closely with guidance or his case manager at the high school to find things he is interested. My son went through a very similar rough patch in 9th grade. He found the music program at the high school, had some excellent teachers/mentors, and made a lot of friends. He did a complete turn around. Would your son have any interest in entering a vocational program? FYI, just keep in mind that depression can look very different in children or young adults. You may want to have him evaluated just in case. Pam

In a message dated 2/2/2010 3:02:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kyliemonty (DOT) com writes:

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college this year)He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.I have given him the option of online/homeschoolin g, but he does have some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL"He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities. Does anyone have any suggestions? Kylie in

CA.

[Guest guest]

Well, I know if my kids swear while playing video games, I would get rid of the games.

Homework is a different problem and each kid has different issues with it. You should only expect him to do so much work, you may have to reduce his workload if he can't handle it. You doing the work doesn't help but mostly, it hides the problem from the school. I don't know how they handle special needs at your school but you should see how they can help you.

Roxanna

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E. Burke

Re: ( ) Transition to high school

What are his interests? What does he do outside of school? I think that you need to work very closely with guidance or his case manager at the high school to find things he is interested. My son went through a very similar rough patch in 9th grade. He found the music program at the high school, had some excellent teachers/mentors, and made a lot of friends. He did a complete turn around. Would your son have any interest in entering a vocational program? FYI, just keep in mind that depression can look very different in children or young adults. You may want to have him evaluated just in case. Pam

In a message dated 2/2/2010 3:02:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kyliemonty (DOT) com writes:

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.

He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college this year)

He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.

I have given him the option of online/homeschoolin g, but he does have some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL"

He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Kylie in CA.

[Guest guest]

thanks roxanne

yes I have removed the games, tv, computer etc but then he gets better so you reintroduce those things and he slides back into the swearing. It's not just whilst he playing the games, if I say NO to anything - the swearing starts and it can be so debiltating - worns me down. I get very depressed. School is good they have helped but they feel at 9 he should be trying more. I am bout to move away from family to be closer to work and and anxious how the new school will cope. But I have been reassured that any funding he currently has (in rgards to aid at school) will follow him to the new school so they can organise similiar aids.

High school is in a few years and all I hear from other families with ASD children is that it is a hard slog. As a single parent trying to do the best - that is something I don't want to hear.

From: rushen janice <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school Received: Saturday, 27 February, 2010, 1:50 AM

Oh my...you son sounds just like mine. My son is 14 and hates...hates. ..hates school. He is moody to us (his parents). His only interest is being with the few friends he has. If they can't come over ...he gets totally depressed. We can't even talk about school at home. Homework...forget it. He says he is in school for 7 hours...so when he comes home it is relaxation time. He sleeps ALOT! He claims he is not depressed... just tired. He is going thru a lot of physical changes from boy to man. His body has really changed...he grew 3 inches over the summer...he is now about 5'8" or 9" .....and he only turned 14 in October and is in 8th grade. He has no ambition ...no real hobbies...except xbox.

At home, he is nasty to us...and to be truthful...i feel like giving up. I just want to throw my hands up in the air. Let him take care of himself because he is so nasty to me. The only time he is nice is when he wants something... so now I don't do anything for him. I told him when he can be nice and polite to me...then I will do for him.

This is so difficult. I never in my life expected anything like this. To bring a child into this world, love him, nuture him and have him turn out like this...mean to me, nasty and angry all the time. When he comes home from school....he doesn't want anyone to talk to him...he is stressed and overwhelmed. ..he goes to his room and shuts the door...no hello ...nothing. But, he goes in and texts his few friends. I don't bother him any more when he comes back from school...I wait for him to come to me. So odd and so strange and so hurtful....

jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: "ppanda65aol (DOT) com" <ppanda65aol (DOT) com> Sent: Fri, February 26, 2010 7:51:26 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school

What are his interests? What does he do outside of school? I think that you need to work very closely with guidance or his case manager at the high school to find things he is interested. My son went through a very similar rough patch in 9th grade. He found the music program at the high school, had some excellent teachers/mentors, and made a lot of friends. He did a complete turn around. Would your son have any interest in entering a vocational program? FYI, just keep in mind that depression can look very different in children or young adults. You may want to have him evaluated just in case. Pam

In a message dated 2/2/2010 3:02:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kyliemonty (DOT) com writes:

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college this year)He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.I have given him the option of online/homeschoolin g, but he does have some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL"He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities. Does anyone have any suggestions? Kylie in CA.

[Guest guest]

thank you....i wrote this poem...all the "so called friends" i thought I had ...are not...and the ones you never realized are there...are...so thank you...

jan

From: Debra Balke <dlbalke@...> Sent: Sat, February 27, 2010 12:02:53 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school

 Hang in there Jan. Been there, done that. It comes and goes, doesn't it. For periods of time you think, hey, maybe they will be able to live on their own, then other times you wallow in the misery and futility of it all. It is so painful to be in that ugly place mentally. Just restarted some Zoloft myself and wow, what a difference. I am a nice person again and those irritating kids and husband and relatives are not so bad after all! Hang in there! Been there, will be there again, thank god for this group!

Re: ( ) Transition to high school

What are his interests? What does he do outside of school? I think that you need to work very closely with guidance or his case manager at the high school to find things he is interested. My son went through a very similar rough patch in 9th grade. He found the music program at the high school, had some excellent teachers/mentors, and made a lot of friends. He did a complete turn around. Would your son have any interest in entering a vocational program? FYI, just keep in mind that depression can look very different in children or young adults. You may want to have him evaluated just in case. Pam

In a message dated 2/2/2010 3:02:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kyliemonty (DOT) com writes:

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college this year)He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.I have given him the option of online/homeschoolin g, but he does have some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL"He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities. Does anyone have any suggestions? Kylie in

CA.

[Guest guest]

jennifer....my son can answer nastily to me....he can be disrespectful...but he doesn't swear at me...tell him that is not acceptable...and that from now on you will pull the playstation plug each time he does. My son is moody...doesn't want us to ask him questions, wants to be left alone...but knows not to curse or hit.

Right now I have told my son...if he wants something...ice cream, lunch or whatever...he has to do it himself...and forget buying his anything...I have told him...until he treats me better and with respect...I am not doing anything for him.

The other day I made a comment about how long is hair was...he thought I was going to touch it....and said something nasty and pulled away. I said fine...and walked away from him....reminding him...when he wants something...don't come begging to me...later in the day..he said he was sorry and that he hates when people touch his head or hair...and i said...I know...but you can't assume that I was going to touch it just because I made a comment and you need to speak in a nicer tone and stop being so nasty. I guess it is going to take practice.

It is so difficult...the mix of teenage and AS.

And, I have stopped bugging him about school...I can't do it anymore. He is passing everything...even w/out studying...and if he starts to fail...I will contact his case manager. I have an IEP meeting on Tuesday and will bring all this up. My son, who is 14, will be attending the meetings now.

We are just starting transitoning...from jr high to high school and on to life. He has 4 more years in school ...and I am realizing now how quickly it will go. My student that i have been working with is graduating in June...and I look back now and say where did the time go.

Roxanna is so right...about the homework...my son actually doesn't get much at all...and he (my son) says..I am in school 7 hours...that is enough...when I come home it is time to relax...OMG...how do they come up with all these things? The other day he told me a joke..it was funny and I laughed...and said ..who told you that? He said..."I made it up".

Our kids are so smart...but so misundertood.

Not sure if I am making any sense...but don't do his homework...and don't fight him at home about it...try and then send him in to school w/out it. Talk to his teachers and see if they can work with him. All my son's teachers know this. In fact, his case manager is working with my son right now on practicing his oral presentation for science. She told me not to work on it at home as it is bring on so much tension... You may need to speak to his teachers about this and explain what it is doing to your homelife...have them reduce it or elimininate it.

Jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: Roxanna <MadIdeas@...> Sent: Fri, February 26, 2010 10:43:35 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school

Well, I know if my kids swear while playing video games, I would get rid of the games. Homework is a different problem and each kid has different issues with it. You should only expect him to do so much work, you may have to reduce his workload if he can't handle it. You doing the work doesn't help but mostly, it hides the problem from the school. I don't know how they handle special needs at your school but you should see how they can help you.

Roxanna"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E. Burke

Re: ( ) Transition to high school

What are his interests? What does he do outside of school? I think that you need to work very closely with guidance or his case manager at the high school to find things he is interested. My son went through a very similar rough patch in 9th grade. He found the music program at the high school, had some excellent teachers/mentors, and made a lot of friends. He did a complete turn around. Would your son have any interest in entering a vocational program? FYI, just keep in mind that depression can look very different in children or young adults. You may want to have him evaluated just in case. Pam

In a message dated 2/2/2010 3:02:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kyliemonty (DOT) com writes:

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college this year)He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.I have given him the option of online/homeschoolin g, but he does have some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL"He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities. Does anyone have any suggestions? Kylie in CA.

[Guest guest]

Boy, I sure agree with a. You've been totally supportive of everyone on here and I'm sure everyone is thinking of you right now, as you're going through this hard time.......

I wish I could give you a hug. My thoughts are with you...............this sucks. Especially when we start thinking of family lost...adn then friends as well.....that have either chosen to leave us or because of our circumstances,,,have left. It just plain sucks.

So, Jan,,,,,,,,hugs.

It really is simple. Just treat others kindly and with respect.

Robin

From: rushen janice <jrushen@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school Date: Friday, February 26, 2010, 4:34 PM

a....bless you and all of you ...at each stage it can be so difficult. This age is hard and I have gotten very depressed... but it is only thru all of you that I continue. I have been dreaming of dying....not sure i could do it...but some times life is so cruel and hard and losing my dad and Poppy and my dear boss, Rosie...has taken it toll on me. And, on top of all this my son is now going thru adolescents. ..which is not like what my friends deal with. They do not understnad and never can. They tell me...oh we know all about it...i feel like SCREAMING ...NO YOU DON"T. YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!!! bUT what would be the point. I have basically lost my frineds..especially my best firend and that hurts...but i have made a new friend across the street and she doesn't judge me or brag about her kids...she has problems and doesn't undermind mine. People can be so cruel...but I do know one thing...I have

all of you.

Right now I have been adovcating for my student who i have worked with for 4 years. He is a senior now ...he doesn't have AS but other things...i am really going to miss him when he graduates in June as well as many of the kids in his class.

Thanks for the kind words...they surely do help.

Jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: a <paulahenderson@ ua-solutions. net> Sent: Fri, February 26, 2010 11:55:45 AMSubject: RE: ( ) Transition to high school

((((hugs)))), Jan. Over my time on this forum you have been a fantastic support and my heart goes out to you.

Nothing lasts forever, and nor will this. You have fought tooth and nail for your son over the years, been his advocate and mentor. Somewhere deep inside his adolescent head he knows that. I am sure at 14 my daily endurance battles simply to exist and survive the school day overshadowed my relationships at home and probably made me pretty unbearable too. I don’t know many adults who would choose to re-live their early/mid teenage years.

(((hugs)))

a

Re: ( ) Transition to high school

What are his interests? What does he do outside of school? I think that you need to work very closely with guidance or his case manager at the high school to find things he is interested. My son went through a very similar rough patch in 9th grade. He found the music program at the high school, had some excellent teachers/mentors, and made a lot of friends. He did a complete turn around. Would your son have any interest in entering a vocational program? FYI, just keep in mind that depression can look very different in children or young adults. You may want to have him evaluated just in case. Pam

In a message dated 2/2/2010 3:02:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kyliemonty (DOT) com writes:

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college this year)He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.I have given him the option of online/homeschoolin g, but he does have some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL"He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities. Does anyone have any suggestions? Kylie in

CA.

[Guest guest]

Thanks Jan

Your words were a comfort. I know I am not going nuts even though at times I feel as though I am. His current school appears understanding and try to limit as much as they can. Not sure with the new school though as when I mentioned it during the school tour it was brushed over. I have to make sure that the old school writes out a list on ways to help him so that we are not starting from scratch. I hate to have made the move and it makes things worse.

Yes I have tried turning things off but then his manner becomes more aggressive before he calms down and apologises. I just have to hang in tight when he has the meltdowns and just walk away to give us both a chance to calm down.

From: rushen janice <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school Received: Saturday, 27 February, 2010, 1:50 AM

Oh my...you son sounds just like mine. My son is 14 and hates...hates. ..hates school. He is moody to us (his parents). His only interest is being with the few friends he has. If they can't come over ...he gets totally depressed. We can't even talk about school at home. Homework...forget it. He says he is in school for 7 hours...so when he comes home it is relaxation time. He sleeps ALOT! He claims he is not depressed... just tired. He is going thru a lot of physical changes from boy to man. His body has really changed...he grew 3 inches over the summer...he is now about 5'8" or 9" .....and he only turned 14 in October and is in 8th grade. He has no ambition ...no real hobbies...except xbox.

At home, he is nasty to us...and to be truthful...i feel like giving up. I just want to throw my hands up in the air. Let him take care of himself because he is so nasty to me. The only time he is nice is when he wants something... so now I don't do anything for him. I told him when he can be nice and polite to me...then I will do for him.

This is so difficult. I never in my life expected anything like this. To bring a child into this world, love him, nuture him and have him turn out like this...mean to me, nasty and angry all the time. When he comes home from school....he doesn't want anyone to talk to him...he is stressed and overwhelmed. ..he goes to his room and shuts the door...no hello ...nothing. But, he goes in and texts his few friends. I don't bother him any more when he comes back from school...I wait for him to come to me. So odd and so strange and so hurtful....

jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: "ppanda65aol (DOT) com" <ppanda65aol (DOT) com> Sent: Fri, February 26, 2010 7:51:26 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school

What are his interests? What does he do outside of school? I think that you need to work very closely with guidance or his case manager at the high school to find things he is interested. My son went through a very similar rough patch in 9th grade. He found the music program at the high school, had some excellent teachers/mentors, and made a lot of friends. He did a complete turn around. Would your son have any interest in entering a vocational program? FYI, just keep in mind that depression can look very different in children or young adults. You may want to have him evaluated just in case. Pam

In a message dated 2/2/2010 3:02:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kyliemonty (DOT) com writes:

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college this year)He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.I have given him the option of online/homeschoolin g, but he does have some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL"He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities. Does anyone have any suggestions? Kylie in CA.

[Guest guest]

As i said in my poem...Robin and Roxanna...those we thought were our best friends turn out to be not and those we thought were just friends...turn out to be the true ones who are there and truly care...so thank you all...i am trying to move on..the pain is real...but at least i know who really cares...who really mean the most ...who want me to stay here on earth...because of who i am ...thank you all...i truly mean this from the bottom of my broken heart...i am on meds...and therapy but i think it is you guys who help me the most...

bless you all...

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> Sent: Sat, February 27, 2010 9:14:21 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school

Boy, I sure agree with a. You've been totally supportive of everyone on here and I'm sure everyone is thinking of you right now, as you're going through this hard time.......

I wish I could give you a hug. My thoughts are with you......... ......this sucks. Especially when we start thinking of family lost...adn then friends as well.....that have either chosen to leave us or because of our circumstances, ,,have left. It just plain sucks.

So, Jan,,,,,,,,hugs.

It really is simple. Just treat others kindly and with respect.

Robin

From: rushen janice <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school Date: Friday, February 26, 2010, 4:34 PM

a....bless you and all of you ...at each stage it can be so difficult. This age is hard and I have gotten very depressed... but it is only thru all of you that I continue. I have been dreaming of dying....not sure i could do it...but some times life is so cruel and hard and losing my dad and Poppy and my dear boss, Rosie...has taken it toll on me. And, on top of all this my son is now going thru adolescents. ..which is not like what my friends deal with. They do not understnad and never can. They tell me...oh we know all about it...i feel like SCREAMING ...NO YOU DON"T. YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!!! bUT what would be the point. I have basically lost my frineds..especially my best firend and that hurts...but i have made a new friend across the street and she doesn't judge me or brag about her kids...she has problems and doesn't undermind mine. People can be so cruel...but I do know one thing...I have

all of you.

Right now I have been adovcating for my student who i have worked with for 4 years. He is a senior now ...he doesn't have AS but other things...i am really going to miss him when he graduates in June as well as many of the kids in his class.

Thanks for the kind words...they surely do help.

Jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: a <paulahenderson@ ua-solutions. net> Sent: Fri, February 26, 2010 11:55:45 AMSubject: RE: ( ) Transition to high school

((((hugs)))), Jan. Over my time on this forum you have been a fantastic support and my heart goes out to you.

Nothing lasts forever, and nor will this. You have fought tooth and nail for your son over the years, been his advocate and mentor. Somewhere deep inside his adolescent head he knows that. I am sure at 14 my daily endurance battles simply to exist and survive the school day overshadowed my relationships at home and probably made me pretty unbearable too. I don’t know many adults who would choose to re-live their early/mid teenage years.

(((hugs)))

a

Re: ( ) Transition to high school

What are his interests? What does he do outside of school? I think that you need to work very closely with guidance or his case manager at the high school to find things he is interested. My son went through a very similar rough patch in 9th grade. He found the music program at the high school, had some excellent teachers/mentors, and made a lot of friends. He did a complete turn around. Would your son have any interest in entering a vocational program? FYI, just keep in mind that depression can look very different in children or young adults. You may want to have him evaluated just in case. Pam

In a message dated 2/2/2010 3:02:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kyliemonty (DOT) com writes:

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college this year)He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.I have given him the option of online/homeschoolin g, but he does have some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL"He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities. Does anyone have any suggestions? Kylie in

CA.

[Guest guest]

Well, you did it again Roxanna...you made me laugh!!! It is so good to sit here and smile...thanks!

Now this is the joke...my son made it up...please don't be offended anyone...actually i am going to change part of it ...i don't want anyone offended...

he says..."Why can't illegal aliens play Uno?" ...I say ..."Because they can't read?"...he says..."No, because they steal all the Green Cards".

OMG ...i cracked up...and when i asked him where he got the joke..he said he made it up...

From: Roxanna <MadIdeas@...> Sent: Sat, February 27, 2010 9:49:48 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school

Jan, the part about the hair just made me laugh since we have the same situation here with the same results. My ds hates having his hair touched, he never combs it and it is LONG!! If I even say, "We need to get you a haircut..." he goes ballistic. Last time I took him to a shop to have it done, the lady was kind of rude about his "problem" with having his hair touched. So I did it myself for a while. Then his dad took him somewhere and he came home with this awful hair cut. They both liked it but I think it looks horrid! lol. Ugh. I've waited as long as I can stand it and will have to get back to working on having it cut again. The only good thing he has going is that it is curly/wavy, so even uncombed, it can look halfway decent...sometimes. But it is a whole process for me and I have to gather my strength about me first,

lol. It's not a journey for the fainthearted. lol. Hang in there!

Roxanna"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E. Burke

Re: ( ) Transition to high school

What are his interests? What does he do outside of school? I think that you need to work very closely with guidance or his case manager at the high school to find things he is interested. My son went through a very similar rough patch in 9th grade. He found the music program at the high school, had some excellent teachers/mentors, and made a lot of friends. He did a complete turn around. Would your son have any interest in entering a vocational program? FYI, just keep in mind that depression can look very different in children or young adults. You may want to have him evaluated just in case. Pam

In a message dated 2/2/2010 3:02:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kyliemonty (DOT) com writes:

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college this year)He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.I have given him the option of online/homeschoolin g, but he does have some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL"He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities. Does anyone have any suggestions? Kylie in CA.

[Guest guest]

LOL.. I'll share one that my aspie son made up for a talent show in Kindergarten... "What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?.... You really CRACK me up!!" LOL>> He barely got through the telling he was laughing so hard!.... Goood Memories!!

From: rushen janice <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school Received: Saturday, 27 February, 2010, 1:50 AM

Oh my...you son sounds just like mine. My son is 14 and hates...hates. ..hates school. He is moody to us (his parents). His only interest is being with the few friends he has. If they can't come over ...he gets totally depressed. We can't even talk about school at home. Homework...forget it. He says he is in school for 7 hours...so when he comes home it is relaxation time. He sleeps ALOT! He claims he is not depressed... just tired. He is going thru a lot of physical changes from boy to man. His body has really changed...he grew 3 inches over the summer...he is now about 5'8" or 9" .....and he only turned 14 in October and is in 8th grade. He has no ambition ...no real hobbies...except xbox.

At home, he is nasty to us...and to be truthful...i feel like giving up. I just want to throw my hands up in the air. Let him take care of himself because he is so nasty to me. The only time he is nice is when he wants something... so now I don't do anything for him. I told him when he can be nice and polite to me...then I will do for him.

This is so difficult. I never in my life expected anything like this. To bring a child into this world, love him, nuture him and have him turn out like this...mean to me, nasty and angry all the time. When he comes home from school....he doesn't want anyone to talk to him...he is stressed and overwhelmed. ..he goes to his room and shuts the door...no hello ...nothing. But, he goes in and texts his few friends. I don't bother him any more when he comes back from school...I wait for him to come to me. So odd and so strange and so hurtful....

jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: "ppanda65aol (DOT) com" <ppanda65aol (DOT) com> Sent: Fri, February 26, 2010 7:51:26 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school

What are his interests? What does he do outside of school? I think that you need to work very closely with guidance or his case manager at the high school to find things he is interested. My son went through a very similar rough patch in 9th grade. He found the music program at the high school, had some excellent teachers/mentors, and made a lot of friends. He did a complete turn around. Would your son have any interest in entering a vocational program? FYI, just keep in mind that depression can look very different in children or young adults. You may want to have him evaluated just in case. Pam

In a message dated 2/2/2010 3:02:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kyliemonty (DOT) com writes:

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college this year)He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.I have given him the option of online/homeschoolin g, but he does have some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL"He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities. Does anyone have any suggestions? Kylie in CA.

[Guest guest]

Ohhh Roxanna, my ds is also very particular about his hair, and he has a LOT of it! It had gotten so long and outgrown, so his Dad brought him to have it cut at a cheap shop. BIG mistake, he really needs a professional to manage styling so much mane! Anyway, the guy finished chopping it up, and turned the chair around for ds to see the 'masterpirce'. My ds took one look at it and yelled, "WHAT THE F##K DID YOU DO TO MY HAIR A##HOLE!! I'm GONNA KILL YOU!" Wow.. the stylist ran into the back room, and his Dad quickly tore the drape from his shoulders and ran him out of the shop. Needless to say the cut was free. For an aspie who acts like he doesn't give one thought to how others view him, he sure is particular abou this hair! lol... Kate

From: rushen janice <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school Received: Saturday, 27 February, 2010, 1:50 AM

Oh my...you son sounds just like mine. My son is 14 and hates...hates. ..hates school. He is moody to us (his parents). His only interest is being with the few friends he has. If they can't come over ...he gets totally depressed. We can't even talk about school at home. Homework...forget it. He says he is in school for 7 hours...so when he comes home it is relaxation time. He sleeps ALOT! He claims he is not depressed... just tired. He is going thru a lot of physical changes from boy to man. His body has really changed...he grew 3 inches over the summer...he is now about 5'8" or 9" .....and he only turned 14 in October and is in 8th grade. He has no ambition ...no real hobbies...except xbox.

At home, he is nasty to us...and to be truthful...i feel like giving up. I just want to throw my hands up in the air. Let him take care of himself because he is so nasty to me. The only time he is nice is when he wants something... so now I don't do anything for him. I told him when he can be nice and polite to me...then I will do for him.

This is so difficult. I never in my life expected anything like this. To bring a child into this world, love him, nuture him and have him turn out like this...mean to me, nasty and angry all the time. When he comes home from school....he doesn't want anyone to talk to him...he is stressed and overwhelmed. ..he goes to his room and shuts the door...no hello ...nothing. But, he goes in and texts his few friends. I don't bother him any more when he comes back from school...I wait for him to come to me. So odd and so strange and so hurtful....

jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: "ppanda65aol (DOT) com" <ppanda65aol (DOT) com> Sent: Fri, February 26, 2010 7:51:26 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school

What are his interests? What does he do outside of school? I think that you need to work very closely with guidance or his case manager at the high school to find things he is interested. My son went through a very similar rough patch in 9th grade. He found the music program at the high school, had some excellent teachers/mentors, and made a lot of friends. He did a complete turn around. Would your son have any interest in entering a vocational program? FYI, just keep in mind that depression can look very different in children or young adults. You may want to have him evaluated just in case. Pam

In a message dated 2/2/2010 3:02:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kyliemonty (DOT) com writes:

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college this year)He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.I have given him the option of online/homeschoolin g, but he does have some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL"He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities. Does anyone have any suggestions? Kylie in CA.

[Guest guest]

ROFL! That is very good! My ds comes up with some once in a while that are hilarious. Most of the time, though, they are not funny. He would hear a joke, then change something about it and it never translates well.

Roxanna

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E. Burke

Re: ( ) Transition to high school

What are his interests? What does he do outside of school? I think that you need to work very closely with guidance or his case manager at the high school to find things he is interested. My son went through a very similar rough patch in 9th grade. He found the music program at the high school, had some excellent teachers/mentors, and made a lot of friends. He did a complete turn around. Would your son have any interest in entering a vocational program? FYI, just keep in mind that depression can look very different in children or young adults. You may want to have him evaluated just in case. Pam

In a message dated 2/2/2010 3:02:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kyliemonty (DOT) com writes:

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.

He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college this year)

He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.

I have given him the option of online/homeschoolin g, but he does have some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL"

He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Kylie in CA.

[Guest guest]

LOL, Kate! Well, nothing like letting your feelings out. lol.

Roxanna

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E. Burke

Re: ( ) Transition to high school

What are his interests? What does he do outside of school? I think that you need to work very closely with guidance or his case manager at the high school to find things he is interested. My son went through a very similar rough patch in 9th grade. He found the music program at the high school, had some excellent teachers/mentors, and made a lot of friends. He did a complete turn around. Would your son have any interest in entering a vocational program? FYI, just keep in mind that depression can look very different in children or young adults. You may want to have him evaluated just in case. Pam

In a message dated 2/2/2010 3:02:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kyliemonty (DOT) com writes:

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.

He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college this year)

He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.

I have given him the option of online/homeschoolin g, but he does have some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL"

He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Kylie in CA.

[Guest guest]

OH my...OH my Kate...you gave me a chuckle...I was laughing so hard after you said that...but thank goodness it wasn't in school....they would take that as a threat...no violence....and he would have been expelled...and on a serious note...that is something I truly worry about...schools don't understand....at all...

Jan

I hope you can work with your son on that line (i am gonna kill you)....I am surprise he let him cut it and with his back to the mirror?????

From: Roxanna <MadIdeas@...> Sent: Sat, February 27, 2010 1:38:08 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school

LOL, Kate! Well, nothing like letting your feelings out. lol.

Roxanna"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E. Burke

Re: ( ) Transition to high school

What are his interests? What does he do outside of school? I think that you need to work very closely with guidance or his case manager at the high school to find things he is interested. My son went through a very similar rough patch in 9th grade. He found the music program at the high school, had some excellent teachers/mentors, and made a lot of friends. He did a complete turn around. Would your son have any interest in entering a vocational program? FYI, just keep in mind that depression can look very different in children or young adults. You may want to have him evaluated just in case. Pam

In a message dated 2/2/2010 3:02:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kyliemonty (DOT) com writes:

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college this year)He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.I have given him the option of online/homeschoolin g, but he does have some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL"He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities. Does anyone have any suggestions? Kylie in CA.

[Guest guest]

Oh my...I am CRACKING up after that one...we should write all our jokes down and publish a book...especially for us to read when we feel sad....

THANK YOU FOR THE LAUGHTER...LAUGHTER IS GOOD AND YOU MADE MY DAY!

Tell your son...he made my day with his joke!

Jan

From: Kate Stone <katesdishes@...> Sent: Sat, February 27, 2010 11:53:52 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school

LOL.. I'll share one that my aspie son made up for a talent show in Kindergarten. .. "What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?.... You really CRACK me up!!" LOL>> He barely got through the telling he was laughing so hard!.... Goood Memories!!

From: rushen janice <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school Received: Saturday, 27 February, 2010, 1:50 AM

Oh my...you son sounds just like mine. My son is 14 and hates...hates. ..hates school. He is moody to us (his parents). His only interest is being with the few friends he has. If they can't come over ...he gets totally depressed. We can't even talk about school at home. Homework...forget it. He says he is in school for 7 hours...so when he comes home it is relaxation time. He sleeps ALOT! He claims he is not depressed... just tired. He is going thru a lot of physical changes from boy to man. His body has really changed...he grew 3 inches over the summer...he is now about 5'8" or 9" .....and he only turned 14 in October and is in 8th grade. He has no ambition ...no real hobbies...except xbox.

At home, he is nasty to us...and to be truthful...i feel like giving up. I just want to throw my hands up in the air. Let him take care of himself because he is so nasty to me. The only time he is nice is when he wants something... so now I don't do anything for him. I told him when he can be nice and polite to me...then I will do for him.

This is so difficult. I never in my life expected anything like this. To bring a child into this world, love him, nuture him and have him turn out like this...mean to me, nasty and angry all the time. When he comes home from school....he doesn't want anyone to talk to him...he is stressed and overwhelmed. ..he goes to his room and shuts the door...no hello ...nothing. But, he goes in and texts his few friends. I don't bother him any more when he comes back from school...I wait for him to come to me. So odd and so strange and so hurtful....

jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: "ppanda65aol (DOT) com" <ppanda65aol (DOT) com> Sent: Fri, February 26, 2010 7:51:26 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school

What are his interests? What does he do outside of school? I think that you need to work very closely with guidance or his case manager at the high school to find things he is interested. My son went through a very similar rough patch in 9th grade. He found the music program at the high school, had some excellent teachers/mentors, and made a lot of friends. He did a complete turn around. Would your son have any interest in entering a vocational program? FYI, just keep in mind that depression can look very different in children or young adults. You may want to have him evaluated just in case. Pam

In a message dated 2/2/2010 3:02:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kyliemonty (DOT) com writes:

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college this year)He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.I have given him the option of online/homeschoolin g, but he does have some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL"He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities. Does anyone have any suggestions? Kylie in CA.