Re: Transition to high school

[Guest guest]

Make sure the school sends the material/information over ...ahead of time...and don't let them pass it over...i mean the new school...adovcate when you need to...if you let them push over you they will...they won't do any more than they have to....and they won't tell you what is available...make a connection with someone within the school...befreind them...find out what is available...the school is not going to tell you...

And, when you son melts down...walk away...but make sure he is in a safe place...i use to tell my son to go to his room...and not come out till he was "human" again...and I mean he would rage...he got so angry one time...he stomped on his Apple IPOD and broke it...but I know he has learned to a degree...he has thrown a few things but not often ...it is a long learning process....

jan

kay <mastermess6@...> Sent: Sat, February 27, 2010 9:40:24 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school

Thanks Jan

Your words were a comfort. I know I am not going nuts even though at times I feel as though I am. His current school appears understanding and try to limit as much as they can. Not sure with the new school though as when I mentioned it during the school tour it was brushed over. I have to make sure that the old school writes out a list on ways to help him so that we are not starting from scratch. I hate to have made the move and it makes things worse.

Yes I have tried turning things off but then his manner becomes more aggressive before he calms down and apologises. I just have to hang in tight when he has the meltdowns and just walk away to give us both a chance to calm down.

From: rushen janice <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school Received: Saturday, 27 February, 2010, 1:50 AM

Oh my...you son sounds just like mine. My son is 14 and hates...hates. ..hates school. He is moody to us (his parents). His only interest is being with the few friends he has. If they can't come over ...he gets totally depressed. We can't even talk about school at home. Homework...forget it. He says he is in school for 7 hours...so when he comes home it is relaxation time. He sleeps ALOT! He claims he is not depressed... just tired. He is going thru a lot of physical changes from boy to man. His body has really changed...he grew 3 inches over the summer...he is now about 5'8" or 9" .....and he only turned 14 in October and is in 8th grade. He has no ambition ...no real hobbies...except xbox.

At home, he is nasty to us...and to be truthful...i feel like giving up. I just want to throw my hands up in the air. Let him take care of himself because he is so nasty to me. The only time he is nice is when he wants something... so now I don't do anything for him. I told him when he can be nice and polite to me...then I will do for him.

This is so difficult. I never in my life expected anything like this. To bring a child into this world, love him, nuture him and have him turn out like this...mean to me, nasty and angry all the time. When he comes home from school....he doesn't want anyone to talk to him...he is stressed and overwhelmed. ..he goes to his room and shuts the door...no hello ...nothing. But, he goes in and texts his few friends. I don't bother him any more when he comes back from school...I wait for him to come to me. So odd and so strange and so hurtful....

jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: "ppanda65aol (DOT) com" <ppanda65aol (DOT) com> Sent: Fri, February 26, 2010 7:51:26 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school

What are his interests? What does he do outside of school? I think that you need to work very closely with guidance or his case manager at the high school to find things he is interested. My son went through a very similar rough patch in 9th grade. He found the music program at the high school, had some excellent teachers/mentors, and made a lot of friends. He did a complete turn around. Would your son have any interest in entering a vocational program? FYI, just keep in mind that depression can look very different in children or young adults. You may want to have him evaluated just in case. Pam

In a message dated 2/2/2010 3:02:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kyliemonty (DOT) com writes:

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college this year)He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.I have given him the option of online/homeschoolin g, but he does have some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL"He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities. Does anyone have any suggestions? Kylie in CA.

[Guest guest]

LOL.... I'm Glad that gave you'll a tickle! He has grown up to be a young man with a very dry sense of humor which most people don't get.

I WISH I could say he curtails his language at school... he doesn't. Surprisingly, the most tolerant school was his middle school where he: daily spouted streams of expletives, challenged his Soc Teacher (ex prison guard) to a fight, removed a window with an exacto knife- jumped out and took the rest of the day off, and let the air out of the bus tires while the driver was snoozing ~ At one school he was immediately transferred out when he threatened to blow the place up.

Once he was dx, solutions were approached with strong consideration for his disability, but it was always a struggle to keep their focus on the reasons underlying his actions.

He has so much potential, he is wicked smart and has a BIG heart but he is so crippled socially, which really frustrates him and he acts out in anger. I love him so much it's hard to see him struggle with this, knowing that a lot of his growth needs to come from working through his own frustration at his inability and to help understand and interpret a lot of what goes on around him. We've got a long way to go! Thank You All for your support!! Kate

From: rushen janice <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school Received: Saturday, 27 February, 2010, 1:50 AM

Oh my...you son sounds just like mine. My son is 14 and hates...hates. ..hates school. He is moody to us (his parents). His only interest is being with the few friends he has. If they can't come over ...he gets totally depressed. We can't even talk about school at home. Homework...forget it. He says he is in school for 7 hours...so when he comes home it is relaxation time. He sleeps ALOT! He claims he is not depressed... just tired. He is going thru a lot of physical changes from boy to man. His body has really changed...he grew 3 inches over the summer...he is now about 5'8" or 9" .....and he only turned 14 in October and is in 8th grade. He has no ambition ...no real hobbies...except xbox.

At home, he is nasty to us...and to be truthful...i feel like giving up. I just want to throw my hands up in the air. Let him take care of himself because he is so nasty to me. The only time he is nice is when he wants something... so now I don't do anything for him. I told him when he can be nice and polite to me...then I will do for him.

This is so difficult. I never in my life expected anything like this. To bring a child into this world, love him, nuture him and have him turn out like this...mean to me, nasty and angry all the time. When he comes home from school....he doesn't want anyone to talk to him...he is stressed and overwhelmed. ..he goes to his room and shuts the door...no hello ...nothing. But, he goes in and texts his few friends. I don't bother him any more when he comes back from school...I wait for him to come to me. So odd and so strange and so hurtful....

jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: "ppanda65aol (DOT) com" <ppanda65aol (DOT) com> Sent: Fri, February 26, 2010 7:51:26 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school

What are his interests? What does he do outside of school? I think that you need to work very closely with guidance or his case manager at the high school to find things he is interested. My son went through a very similar rough patch in 9th grade. He found the music program at the high school, had some excellent teachers/mentors, and made a lot of friends. He did a complete turn around. Would your son have any interest in entering a vocational program? FYI, just keep in mind that depression can look very different in children or young adults. You may want to have him evaluated just in case. Pam

In a message dated 2/2/2010 3:02:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kyliemonty (DOT) com writes:

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college this year)He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.I have given him the option of online/homeschoolin g, but he does have some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL"He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities. Does anyone have any suggestions? Kylie in CA.

[Guest guest]

Jan,

Thank you Jan.. My son is 16 and quite sure he is MORE than capable of being self sufficient even withOUT a H.S. diploma, he has even asked to be emancipated (Not Happening!).

I hope the school your at realizes how very lucky they are to have such a dedicated, passionate and knowledgeable para on staff! Keep up the GOOD WORK !! Kate

From: rushen janice <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school Received: Saturday, 27 February, 2010, 1:50 AM

Oh my...you son sounds just like mine. My son is 14 and hates...hates. ..hates school. He is moody to us (his parents). His only interest is being with the few friends he has. If they can't come over ...he gets totally depressed. We can't even talk about school at home. Homework...forget it. He says he is in school for 7 hours...so when he comes home it is relaxation time. He sleeps ALOT! He claims he is not depressed... just tired. He is going thru a lot of physical changes from boy to man. His body has really changed...he grew 3 inches over the summer...he is now about 5'8" or 9" .....and he only turned 14 in October and is in 8th grade. He has no ambition ...no real hobbies...except xbox.

At home, he is nasty to us...and to be truthful...i feel like giving up. I just want to throw my hands up in the air. Let him take care of himself because he is so nasty to me. The only time he is nice is when he wants something... so now I don't do anything for him. I told him when he can be nice and polite to me...then I will do for him.

This is so difficult. I never in my life expected anything like this. To bring a child into this world, love him, nuture him and have him turn out like this...mean to me, nasty and angry all the time. When he comes home from school....he doesn't want anyone to talk to him...he is stressed and overwhelmed. ..he goes to his room and shuts the door...no hello ...nothing. But, he goes in and texts his few friends. I don't bother him any more when he comes back from school...I wait for him to come to me. So odd and so strange and so hurtful....

jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: "ppanda65aol (DOT) com" <ppanda65aol (DOT) com> Sent: Fri, February 26, 2010 7:51:26 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school

What are his interests? What does he do outside of school? I think that you need to work very closely with guidance or his case manager at the high school to find things he is interested. My son went through a very similar rough patch in 9th grade. He found the music program at the high school, had some excellent teachers/mentors, and made a lot of friends. He did a complete turn around. Would your son have any interest in entering a vocational program? FYI, just keep in mind that depression can look very different in children or young adults. You may want to have him evaluated just in case. Pam

In a message dated 2/2/2010 3:02:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kyliemonty (DOT) com writes:

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college this year)He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.I have given him the option of online/homeschoolin g, but he does have some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL"He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities. Does anyone have any suggestions? Kylie in CA.

[Guest guest]

thanks Kate...i don't know if they know..cause all i care about are the kids...ha ha...I just loved when a principal in my son's school...same district...said..how you would like it if i copied all the emails sent to you to your boss too...and I just Laughed...I have no problem...i do my job. If the teacher did in my son's old school did her job...then i would not have had to copy the superintendent...

Luckily for my son...those two horrible years are behind us...and this year has been pretty good...the teachers have an understanding and my son's case manager is so AWESOME...i even wrote the the District Superintendent about her...

jan

And, i am glad you son is so capable...wow!

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: Kate Stone <katesdishes@...> Sent: Sun, February 28, 2010 1:11:09 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school

Jan,

Thank you Jan.. My son is 16 and quite sure he is MORE than capable of being self sufficient even withOUT a H.S. diploma, he has even asked to be emancipated (Not Happening!).

I hope the school your at realizes how very lucky they are to have such a dedicated, passionate and knowledgeable para on staff! Keep up the GOOD WORK !! Kate

From: rushen janice <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school Received: Saturday, 27 February, 2010, 1:50 AM

Oh my...you son sounds just like mine. My son is 14 and hates...hates. ..hates school. He is moody to us (his parents). His only interest is being with the few friends he has. If they can't come over ...he gets totally depressed. We can't even talk about school at home. Homework...forget it. He says he is in school for 7 hours...so when he comes home it is relaxation time. He sleeps ALOT! He claims he is not depressed... just tired. He is going thru a lot of physical changes from boy to man. His body has really changed...he grew 3 inches over the summer...he is now about 5'8" or 9" .....and he only turned 14 in October and is in 8th grade. He has no ambition ...no real hobbies...except xbox.

At home, he is nasty to us...and to be truthful...i feel like giving up. I just want to throw my hands up in the air. Let him take care of himself because he is so nasty to me. The only time he is nice is when he wants something... so now I don't do anything for him. I told him when he can be nice and polite to me...then I will do for him.

This is so difficult. I never in my life expected anything like this. To bring a child into this world, love him, nuture him and have him turn out like this...mean to me, nasty and angry all the time. When he comes home from school....he doesn't want anyone to talk to him...he is stressed and overwhelmed. ..he goes to his room and shuts the door...no hello ...nothing. But, he goes in and texts his few friends. I don't bother him any more when he comes back from school...I wait for him to come to me. So odd and so strange and so hurtful....

jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: "ppanda65aol (DOT) com" <ppanda65aol (DOT) com> Sent: Fri, February 26, 2010 7:51:26 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Transition to high school

What are his interests? What does he do outside of school? I think that you need to work very closely with guidance or his case manager at the high school to find things he is interested. My son went through a very similar rough patch in 9th grade. He found the music program at the high school, had some excellent teachers/mentors, and made a lot of friends. He did a complete turn around. Would your son have any interest in entering a vocational program? FYI, just keep in mind that depression can look very different in children or young adults. You may want to have him evaluated just in case. Pam

In a message dated 2/2/2010 3:02:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kyliemonty (DOT) com writes:

My 14 y.o. ds is so uninterested in planning for high school or beyond.He is very unmotivated and is bored by school.His grades are poor. He can see no reason to do his schoolwork and is unimpressed with the prospect of 4 more years of school. He doesn't have any career aspirations, yet wants to go to college,(his sister started college this year)He has been taking Adderall, this seemed to help with his grades initially, but we are not seeing the same benefits now.I have given him the option of online/homeschoolin g, but he does have some friends at school and he is not keen on that option. We have looked at private schools, but his response is that " it is still SCHOOL"He doesn't seem depressed, and he still enjoys doing his usual activities. Does anyone have any suggestions? Kylie in CA.