Re: Re: Meds issue

[Guest guest]

I don't mean to come across rude: I have a headache and am typing as fast as I can, so if you hear RUDE or

'not nice,' please UNHEAR IT, and just read for the advise. I did not intend to be rude, put down, or anything, I am sure it sounds

'blunt' and perhaps it is but it is NOT PERSONAL, just information to try to help!!! THANKS. That being said......hope it helps you out!!!

FIRST, You are NOT a terrible parent. There are all kinds of ways to remind self to take meds.

There are MED MINDERS, pill boxes that even go off when you need to take them. Are LOCKED

so you cannot take them if you already did, etc. There have been great advances in aids. There are

watches that beep. Cell phones can be set for a daily alarm and reminder to take the meds, so if it is something

a person wants to fix, I am confident it can be done.

As for nothing working, that is not true. I used to say that but there ARE THINGS that work, and it is something you

have to be patient with but most importantly, YOU, as the PARENT, have to take charge and be consistent, because there

are THINGS that work. usually, if something or nothing is working, WE are the problem (sorry but I wasted several years

figuring that out---thought I would save someone else a few years of their time!). IT IS TRUE!!!! Most of the time, WE,

as parents, don't want to hear the crying and give in; THAT is the problem. We are TOO busy to deal with this temper tantrum,

but if we took the fifty minutes this time, next time, it may be 30, and before you know it, meltdowns may be completely gone (I KNOW!--

I have two sons with AS and I got to do them up to 4 hours for about 3 years----I WAS DOING THE 'right things' by then, but one of my

children has other issues and they lasted up to 4 hours sometimes and that was ALL I DID as that was ALL I COULD DO---he was a danger

to himself and others and I had to keep him safe the whole time.

Good luck with weaning him from wanting to spend all the time; that is kids, society, and I have met very few parents of AS kids that feel their

child is very good with money, appreciates it, respects it.....it simply isn't going to happen overnight. MEDS can't be refused; it is a requirement, and

therefore, not a choice, just like some other things we have to take control of as parents. Consequences and rewards DO WORK! If they don't, it is HOW it is being done, and by the way, most are free (more below!). I KNOW, I have spent years perfecting several things that do work and don't for our four sons (2 with special needs). I NEVER said to spend money all the time!! I told you we had no money but that to get my son to do insulin shots, we spent about $100 and rewarded him with the one thing he really wanted at the time, and I contend, if you had to do it, you would find the $100 too! HE HAD TO HAVE INSULIN SHOTS (still does) and due to the abuse, it DID take 6-8 of us

holding him down to get shots in him--THAT IS NOT REALISTIC FOR US TO DO AT HOME---so we did what we had to do (at the time, I am positive it meant a bill didn't get paid timely as we were not financially well off----STILL AREN'T---my husband is laid off after working about 19 straight years and has been laid off for nearly 6 months now, and we are living on unemployment until it runs out soon-------------We make chores rewards. GAME PLAYING (BOARD GAMES) rewards.....if YOU WANT TO help the child, you can find all kinds of free and inexpensive things to do...........OUR CHILDREN EARN OUR TIME, and that is what kids want anyway. TRY IT, you may find that it fixes a lot more issues than just the medication one!

Here's how it works: whatever "johnny loves" you say it like this, "ny, as soon as you take your pill (s), I would be happy to play "UNO" with you for 30 minutes (five games, 2 rounds, WHATEVER IT IS A BE VERY SPECIFIC and then DO IT!!!!!---you HAVE to follow through). NO, blah, blah, whatever and cursing and the like, you SAY only, "I would be happy to listen to whatever you have to say, ny, after you take your meds." You do not play in to the behaviors at all. STAY VERY VERY CALM. TRY IT----takes about 1 week tops for the worst of the behaviors (I KNOW, because it took about 3 hours and one time only for one of the boys and non-stop, multiple times a day for about a week with one of the other ones---------at 16, the one will STILL tell me, I know, you would be happy to do "XYZ" as soon as I "XYZ" so for him, 13 years later, it was a lesson LEARNED. IT DOES WORK!!!!! IT REALLY DOES!!!

My kids still earn time: good behaviors........THEY HAVE ME.........I played Sponge Bob Uno for about 1 1/2 hours between 3 children today after school (and I do quite love that game). It was free, our house has been calm, quiet, and something even I never dreamed I would have. Some nights, I get weepy after they go to bed because I never thought I would be 'here' and so it does work!!!! Every night used to be hell at myself, and I wished it would just go away; now, I actually even enjoy the role of parenting almost as I had always dreamed it would be. My 'won't help and do chores kids' are now begging (SERIOUSLY BEGGING!) to help: they earn rewards like maybe that 30 minutes of catch in the yard with dad...........SERIOUSLY......

Good luck, do NOT give up, hang in there, and you can do it!!! Just ALLOW yourself to find something that works, and keep calm! (even when you do not think you can!).

Ruthie Dolezal

From: llamattude@...Date: Mon, 22 Feb 2010 12:24:01 -0800Subject: ( ) Re: Meds issue

Thanks for the reply. Unfortunatly with my son rewards and coniquences do not work. Nor are we finacly able to take him to town and spend money on him all the time. The doctors are working with us to try and wean him from wanting to spend all the time. When he gets mad he refuses his meds.I guess I'm a terrible parent as the bilk of his meds are locked away. With my own medical condition I have to put things in certain places or I literally forget the meds, my own included, there is no one else to help me either.

[Guest guest]

Yay Ruthie! Great post!

Roxanna

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E. Burke

( ) Re: Meds issue

Thanks for the reply. Unfortunatly with my son rewards and coniquences

do not work. Nor are we finacly able to take him to town and spend

money on him all the time. The doctors are working with us to try and

wean him from wanting to spend all the time. When he gets mad he

refuses his meds.

I guess I'm a terrible parent as the bilk of his meds are locked

away. With my own medical condition I have to put things in certain

places or I literally forget the meds, my own included, there is no

one else to help me either.