Re: staying calm at the school

[Guest guest]

ok this may sound sarcastic, but it's not, it's just the truth. I am a very anxious person anyway, and breathing exercises don't work for me, so at our last IEP meeting I had to take a Klonopin. It didn't make me sleepy but I didn't feel like running out of there. I feel bad resorting to drugs, but our last IEP meeting was sooooo emotionally charged, it was necessary. I hope you all don't think badly of me.

Cathleen

From: Carolyn Weisbard <ccweisbard@...> Sent: Wed, January 12, 2011 10:27:37 AMSubject: ( ) staying calm at the school

Ok, so several people have talked about keeping emotions down when at the school ARD's and IEP's... I was just wondering how ya'll do it. I am a very emotional person, and when I get mad, upset or sad I cry.... Especially when I am really mad!! I just can't help myself.... I thought I would ask what you have done in the past to help keep the emotions out of it for yourself!??Thanks,Carolyn

[Guest guest]

You take an advocate or support person with you.  Before the meeting you tell the support person or give them notes with your main points, then if you start getting all choked up, you tap them and they continue for you, while you sit there overcome with emotion because after all you are the parent and it means so much to you to have everything be safe and right for your child.

Kathy J.On Wed, Jan 12, 2011 at 10:27 AM, Carolyn Weisbard <ccweisbard@...> wrote:

 

Ok, so several people have talked about keeping emotions down when at the school ARD's and IEP's...  I was just wondering how ya'll do it.  I am a very emotional person, and when I get mad, upset or sad I cry....  Especially when I am really mad!!  I just can't help myself....  I thought I would ask what you have done in the past to help keep the emotions out of it for yourself!??

Thanks,Carolyn

[Guest guest]

Cathleen, I don't think badly of you at all, after the last ARD meeting, I totally understand!!!!CarolynFrom: Cathleen Veloria <cathleen.veloria@...> Sent: Wed, January 12, 2011 7:03:31 PMSubject: Re: ( ) staying calm at the

school

ok this may sound sarcastic, but it's not, it's just the truth. I am a very anxious person anyway, and breathing exercises don't work for me, so at our last IEP meeting I had to take a Klonopin. It didn't make me sleepy but I didn't feel like running out of there. I feel bad resorting to drugs, but our last IEP meeting was sooooo emotionally charged, it was necessary. I hope you all don't think badly of me.

Cathleen

From: Carolyn Weisbard <ccweisbard@...> Sent: Wed, January 12, 2011 10:27:37 AMSubject: ( ) staying calm at the school

Ok, so several people have talked about keeping emotions down when at the school ARD's and IEP's... I was just wondering how ya'll do it. I am a very emotional person, and when I get mad, upset or sad I cry.... Especially when I am really mad!! I just can't help myself.... I thought I would ask what you have done in the past to help keep the emotions out of it for yourself!??Thanks,Carolyn

[Guest guest]

I have the same problem as Carolyn. I cry when I'm sad and I cry when I'm really angry and frustrated. But I have gotten a lot better at IEP meetings. The last time I felt like I was going to loose it I left the room for a few minutes and tried to clear my head. My husband knows I get emotional so when I have to leave the room he takes over. It is such a relief and a huge help because he didn't use to go to these meetings at all. He was always deployed. Now that he has been going in the last two school years he sees what I've been dealing with and is amazed. With him being a soldier, and having been deployed three times he has a hard time not wanting to go off on them though. But we help keep eachother in check. I can see when his face gets red and he can hear the emotion in my voice and we step in for the other.

I also at times get one of my migraines stressing over the meeting so I have to take my medicine for it, which usually will make me kind of loopy. Not enough to where I'm not making sense, but just enough to relax me. This obviously helps too.

It is not easy sitting in what is usually a small room, packed with a half a dozen or more school staff, all there to tell you how bad or how many problems your child has. Or worse, telling you that your child is fine and doesn't need services when you know he does.

So don't feel bad and I'm sure no one here will think bad of you. We all have our coping strategies. As long as we're coping and not giving up.

ne

From: Cathleen Veloria <cathleen.veloria@...>Subject: Re: ( ) staying calm at the school Date: Wednesday, January 12, 2011, 8:03 PM

ok this may sound sarcastic, but it's not, it's just the truth. I am a very anxious person anyway, and breathing exercises don't work for me, so at our last IEP meeting I had to take a Klonopin. It didn't make me sleepy but I didn't feel like running out of there. I feel bad resorting to drugs, but our last IEP meeting was sooooo emotionally charged, it was necessary. I hope you all don't think badly of me.

Cathleen

From: Carolyn Weisbard <ccweisbard@...> Sent: Wed, January 12, 2011 10:27:37 AMSubject: ( ) staying calm at the school

Ok, so several people have talked about keeping emotions down when at the school ARD's and IEP's... I was just wondering how ya'll do it. I am a very emotional person, and when I get mad, upset or sad I cry.... Especially when I am really mad!! I just can't help myself.... I thought I would ask what you have done in the past to help keep the emotions out of it for yourself!??Thanks,Carolyn

[Guest guest]

Boy, this one is tough. I have considered taking a Valium but what I usually do is " go to my calm place " mentally before the meeting. I have my husband give me a pre-determined pep talk (to which he always reminds me that if I shoot my mouth off I'm screwing it up for my kid) but I get mentally prepared is what I'm saying.

I only cried at one meeting and I vowed never again!!!!!!!!!!! And I haven't. Now, that I see the bullshit the schools pull and how dirty they play, I am on my game. One other little trick I do is to mentally I embrace a person that I admire who is uber capable of keeping their cool in tough situations. Can be someone you know or someone you see on tv--doesn't matter, just someone you've seen holding it together and staying strong and composed under duress. 

Also helps to write an agenda to which you will work from so that you stay focused. These ARE hard for moms (and dads) so you're  not alone.

On Wed, Jan 12, 2011 at 9:25 PM, Kathy <rrabbits@...> wrote:

 

You take an advocate or support person with you.  Before the meeting you tell the support person or give them notes with your main points, then if you start getting all choked up, you tap them and they continue for you, while you sit there overcome with emotion because after all you are the parent and it means so much to you to have everything be safe and right for your child.

Kathy J.On Wed, Jan 12, 2011 at 10:27 AM, Carolyn Weisbard <ccweisbard@...> wrote:

 

Ok, so several people have talked about keeping emotions down when at the school ARD's and IEP's...  I was just wondering how ya'll do it.  I am a very emotional person, and when I get mad, upset or sad I cry....  Especially when I am really mad!!  I just can't help myself....  I thought I would ask what you have done in the past to help keep the emotions out of it for yourself!??

Thanks,Carolyn

[Guest guest]

Thank you Carolyn, we have another IEP meeting the 14, please think of us, it will be a tough one!

Cathleen

From: Carolyn Weisbard <ccweisbard@...> Sent: Wed, January 12, 2011 6:29:47 PMSubject: Re: ( ) staying calm at the school

Cathleen, I don't think badly of you at all, after the last ARD meeting, I totally understand!!!!Carolyn

From: Cathleen Veloria <cathleen.veloria@...> Sent: Wed, January 12, 2011 7:03:31 PMSubject: Re: ( ) staying calm at the school

ok this may sound sarcastic, but it's not, it's just the truth. I am a very anxious person anyway, and breathing exercises don't work for me, so at our last IEP meeting I had to take a Klonopin. It didn't make me sleepy but I didn't feel like running out of there. I feel bad resorting to drugs, but our last IEP meeting was sooooo emotionally charged, it was necessary. I hope you all don't think badly of me.

Cathleen

From: Carolyn Weisbard <ccweisbard@...> Sent: Wed, January 12, 2011 10:27:37 AMSubject: ( ) staying calm at the school

Ok, so several people have talked about keeping emotions down when at the school ARD's and IEP's... I was just wondering how ya'll do it. I am a very emotional person, and when I get mad, upset or sad I cry.... Especially when I am really mad!! I just can't help myself.... I thought I would ask what you have done in the past to help keep the emotions out of it for yourself!??Thanks,Carolyn

[Guest guest]

I will pray for you. We have another ARD on the 24th and I expect to be laughed at again.... One way or the other I got good news last night, in that they will be combining the preschools with the elementary school and that will change our evaluation team and principal in August. I spoke with the principal, who knows me because of my other daughter, and she says that she will help me take care of my little one who is turning 4 in about a week.....

Carolyn

From: Cathleen Veloria <cathleen.veloria@...> Sent: Thu, January 13, 2011 10:37:44 AMSubject: Re: ( ) staying calm at the school

Thank you Carolyn, we have another IEP meeting the 14, please think of us, it will be a tough one!

Cathleen

From: Carolyn Weisbard <ccweisbard@...> Sent: Wed, January 12, 2011 6:29:47 PMSubject: Re: ( ) staying calm at the school

Cathleen, I don't think badly of you at all, after the last ARD meeting, I totally understand!!!!Carolyn

From: Cathleen Veloria <cathleen.veloria@...> Sent: Wed, January 12, 2011 7:03:31 PMSubject: Re: ( ) staying calm at the school

ok this may sound sarcastic, but it's not, it's just the truth. I am a very anxious person anyway, and breathing exercises don't work for me, so at our last IEP meeting I had to take a Klonopin. It didn't make me sleepy but I didn't feel like running out of there. I feel bad resorting to drugs, but our last IEP meeting was sooooo emotionally charged, it was necessary. I hope you all don't think badly of me.

Cathleen

From: Carolyn Weisbard <ccweisbard@...> Sent: Wed, January 12, 2011 10:27:37 AMSubject: ( ) staying calm at the school

Ok, so several people have talked about keeping emotions down when at the school ARD's and IEP's... I was just wondering how ya'll do it. I am a very emotional person, and when I get mad, upset or sad I cry.... Especially when I am really mad!! I just can't help myself.... I thought I would ask what you have done in the past to help keep the emotions out of it for yourself!??Thanks,Carolyn

[Guest guest]

What helped me stay calm (and get better results) was hiring an advocate to come

with me to the IEP/504 meetings. When I became tongue-tied because I was so

emotionally charged, my adovocate was able to calmly and articulately state my

case. The advocate also knew the laws much better than I did and the school

district knew that my advocate knew. They had been taking advantage of the fact

that parents wouldn't know the law.

[Guest guest]

That is great news Carolyn! I hope everything works out for your little one!

ne

> From: Carolyn Weisbard <ccweisbard@...>

> Subject: Re: ( ) staying calm at the school

>

> Date: Thursday, January 13, 2011, 11:43 AM

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> I will pray for you.  We

> have another ARD on the 24th and I expect to be laughed at

> again....  One way or the other I got good news last

> night, in that they will be combining the preschools with

> the elementary school and that will change our evaluation

> team and principal in August.  I spoke with the

> principal, who knows me because of my other daughter, and

> she says that she will help me take care of my little one

> who is turning 4 in about a week.....

> Carolyn

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> From:

> Cathleen Veloria <cathleen.veloria@...>

> To:

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> Sent: Thu,

> January 13, 2011 10:37:44 AM

> Subject: Re:

> ( ) staying calm at the school

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> Thank you Carolyn, we have another IEP meeting the 14,

> please think of us, it will be a tough one!

> Cathleen

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> From: Carolyn

> Weisbard <ccweisbard@...>

> To:

>

> Sent: Wed,

> January 12, 2011 6:29:47 PM

> Subject: Re:

> ( ) staying calm at the school

>

>  

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> Cathleen, I don't think badly of you at

> all, after the last ARD meeting, I totally understand!!!!

> Carolyn

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> From:

> Cathleen Veloria <cathleen.veloria@...>

> To:

>

> Sent: Wed,

> January 12, 2011 7:03:31 PM

> Subject: Re:

> ( ) staying calm at the school

>

>  

>

>

>

> ok this may sound sarcastic, but it's not,

> it's just the truth. I am a very anxious person anyway,

> and breathing exercises don't work for me, so at our

> last IEP meeting I had to take a Klonopin. It

> didn't  make me sleepy but I didn't feel like

> running out of there. I feel bad resorting to drugs, but our

> last IEP meeting was sooooo emotionally charged, it was

> necessary. I hope you all don't think badly of me.

>  

> Cathleen

>

>

>

>

>

> From: Carolyn

> Weisbard <ccweisbard@...>

> To:

>

> Sent: Wed,

> January 12, 2011 10:27:37 AM

> Subject:

> ( ) staying calm at the school

>

>  

>

>

> Ok, so several people have talked about

> keeping emotions down when at the school ARD's and

> IEP's...  I was just wondering how ya'll do

> it.  I am a very emotional person, and when I get mad,

> upset or sad I cry....  Especially when I am really

> mad!!  I just can't help myself....  I thought

> I would ask what you have done in the past to help keep the

> emotions out of it for yourself!??

> Thanks,

> Carolyn

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