letters to his school.........and teachers/principals' reply

[Guest guest]

Hope this all makes sense........

I think most of you know of our stuggles with finding a place for Ian to go to school. Pub school through 5th, virtual school 6 and 7. Then, he wanted to "go back" for 8th, so we found a small parochial.

This seems very good....but there were absolutely no accomodations. No help with organization or remembering his stuff.......or helping with fitting in....no explaining to others about him..........I asked and asked for help. Sent tons of info to them. Talked with them through email and in person bi-daily.......sometimes more. Was always told, "We'll keep working at it....he'll get there....", etc.He started failing classes. Never brought certain "failing" subjects home.......ugh.

No matter what we asked, we were not let in to talk with the kids......or told of how the grades or work could be modified.......we were constantly met with a smile and told that they'd work at it.Meanwhile, he got constant "demerits" for talking or standing up or walking around (which was called being disrespectful)...........ugh.......

So,,,we dedided to contact the local middle school and they were ready to help.

Here is the letter, in green, I sent them to get it all started.

The letter after that, in red, addresses to them the next day, the issues that Ian has been having with his "team".....and my frustration with the school to deal with it. I want to also say, that my email may seem a bit harsh, but we have constant issues with comments to Ian. Comments about him being so "religious" and laughing. This is on the field during practice and in the vans they drive over in to the field. If Ian rides over in the van not driven by Rory, the coach, the kids driving the other van will put in music that they tell Ian, is "Satanic" music. So,,,,,bare with me in this letter, because it has all been brought up to the coach and we are told that "they're working on iT".

After that, is the teachers'/principals' reply, in blue.

s the 2nd sentence he replies with, a bit of a slam or am I just "bruised"?

Hi ,

I wanted to talk with you, and since there was a lot that I wanted to say, I thought I'd type it up.

I thank you for taking on Ian, despite his special needs. You were very welcoming, and he needed this when he made the decision to go back to school.

This is probably no real news to you, but we have been struggling, and have made the decision to take him out and put him in B**** Al***, which is in NFDL.

He will be mainstreamed there, but have an aide with him in every class for focus, correction and 1-1 guidance. There will also be social skills groups that he will be a part of, which is very needed.

Because of his OCD, which has been on the religious-obsession-side, it has become increasingly hard. On him and you, probably, as well. The "God bless you's" and "Peace be with you's" have increased and we have actually gone against the doctor who has suggested that he not take Bible Class, since this may be increasing his thoughts toward the subject.

His inability to focus, need for 1-1 organizational help and homework help needs to be addressed and made a priority right now. He cannot keep going in the academic direction that he is going. I know both you and Mr. know this. The grades that I've seen, (only Science and English), are pretty unacceptable and to me - and I'm sure to you as well - and suggest that he cannot keep up. I don't feel that it's over his head, because I know that when talking with him, he knows the material. He just cannot get it on paper.

It is very hard for you to teach a student who can't focus.

It is almost impossible for him to learn when he can't focus.

It is hard for him to make academics a priority when he is is socially immature and isn't socially "with it" and would rather get attention, so he does naughty things without thinking of the consequences. Ugh.

It is hurting him in the long-run when he obviously needs more 1-1 and some social skills work and isn't getting it. I don't mean this "negatively" towards you or TBS, it's just that it isn't an option to get these needed accomodations.

I'm sure you both had goals for him and had hoped it would work, but I just don't think that there is enough in place to appropriately, accommodate him.

Academically, when he is home and I am right with him doing homework, we can accomplish most tasks. But, it just is not working in the setting that he is in, now. Again, I don't mean this as a 'negative' towards you or your school. Not at all. I just think that we all should realize our limits and see what it best for Ian. I had hoped that a smaller setting would "do the trick", but sadly, it didn't. And having things in place for him to academically "continue in a positive direction" is very important. It is for all kids.

Ian wants more than anything to finish out the soccer season, which would put his last day at TBS as the 30th of October. (He would play during the tournament on Saturday, the 31st).

We would wash up and return his shirt to Rory the next week.

If his pictures from Quick and Smart Photography come in after the 30th, feel free to just mail them to us. Same with our partial-tuition refund. If anything else comes up, always feel free to call or email.

I'm sure that B**** Al**** will be contacting TBS for his records soon.

I do want to make sure that you know that Ian has liked it there. Even though he has struggled socially and known that he hasn't fit with anyone (and seems to have run-ins with Matt and daily), he has had a good feeling with it being a Christian school. So, I thank you for that and allowing us to be a part of it.

As far as trying to make his transition, this:

Tuesday, the 20th, I will need to pick him up between 1:45 or 2:00. We need to meet at Be**** Al*** to set up a new IEP for him. If you have any information that would help set things in place, I'd love for you to send it along, seeing that you've been with him for the past almost 2 months.

Friday, the 23rd, he has a therapist appointment in the morning, so I will bring him back afterward. He will be back for lunch, I'm sure.

We understand if, since he's leaving, that it would be better for him/you, if he left now, but hope, for his sake, that he's allowed to finish up the 2 weeks of school and can finish with his soccer team. This, like I said, is very important to him, as he's never been on a team before.

Again, thanks so much for everything and your understanding.

and Robin

******************************************************

Hi ,

I just picked Ian up from Soccer practice last night and he, again, told me about how Matt and are saying "Hail Satan" while making a "hand sign". This, obviously, freaks Ian out and has been freaking him out for a while now.

He also said that he told Pastor Rory at practice and was told to try to ignore them.

Aside from it freaking Ian out because of his intense religious obsessions, it is extremely upsetting to me, as well.

Like I stated in the earlier email, Ian knows he has not fit with the other kids at TBS, and he keeps trying to plug on knowing that he's basically alone there, but being taunted and laughed at by using comments about Satan as a way to "get him" is too much.

I know, sadly, that if he continues his "religious behavior" because of his OCD at Bessie , he's going to be picked on there, as well. But, that is different to me, than having kids at a Christian school doing it. I'm sure you'll agree.

Ian is going to be done at TBS as of yesterday and we'll send his books back with the Ninneman's.

If he left anything there, please send it home with Sheila N today. Thanks so much.

After he told me about the "Satan comments", he said that he didn't want to let his team down by leaving, and I had to tell him the truth. That if he was a real part of the team, they wouldn't want to hurt him or make fun of him. That the adults in charge would make sure that all the members of the team treated him with human respect.

I think that adults always have the opportunity to open doors for the "typical" kids by showing them how to, perhaps, welcome the "outsider" and encourage them,,, and then see how accepting the "outsider" can actually change the behavior of the one "in need".

This may be really hard to believe, but Ian comes home every night and tells us about the "naughty" things he did. And he also wishes he wouldn't have done them. He also knows how he ticked the other kids off by doing the things that he did. So, we go over it all and talk about what he SHOULD have done or what he could have done.

I honestly believe that he does the things he does to try to fit and be accepted.

I wish the best for you and your school, . I also think that maybe this experience with a kid with a unique mix of special behaviors and needs can be looked back on and used as a learning tool for TBS.

Maybe it can even be used with some of the kids there that may need to see that not all kids are the same. Some people can have disabilities and not look like it.....because the disability is IN them and just comes out in the form of awkward and annoying to some.

I guess in a perfect world, anyone with a disability would look like it - that way people around them would just "know". I don't want to walk away from TBS with you or anyone there thinking that we were blind to the realities of Ian and his issues. I can't stress enough that I am fully aware of his behaviors. I also can't stress enough that he is more than a handful.

But, he is also an amazing kid, made by God, who just wants to fit in.....but doesn't. He is kind and loving and good. He loves God more than I can even comprehend, and when he "acts wrong" or "disrespectful", it's usually because he is frustrated, confused and socially immature, and it comes out that way - as disrespectful and wrong.

*****************

He also said that you taped him today to show how he "is" in class. I hope that this was for a positive, teaching tool. To see, and perhaps show, what is going on and learn how to tackle and work with it?

I know this is done in a variety of schools for training of spec ed teachers and aides. This would be an amazing tool for TBS, especially if you are still looking ahead to becoming a place that can provide an appropriate place that is accepting of special needs kids.

*************

I don't take away what I said in the earlier email to you. I do thank you for taking us "on" and teaching him for the last 2 months.

God bless and take care.

and Robin Lemke

****************************************************************

Sorry to hear of you choice, but it is understood. Unfortunately these kids do not have the character to work things out with other students. As for the taping thing - I did tape our class to demonstrate that they could all get along and function as a good class together. This was not just for "Ian" it was for our whole class.

I hope that I can give you any help in the future that you need and believe me it was a privilege to teach Ian.

I do see the inside of him and that is why I had no problem having him in our school and in my classes. It seemed that he was making progress and I was looking forward to getting past the roughest part of the year. I trust that the next step for Ian will be good for not only him but your whole family.

Thank you for letting me work with him I will be forever thankful for knowing Ian and your family.

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to

stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.

For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids

found out he hated the color yellow and so they said " yellow " to him

constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell

phone number and they were calling him and saying " yellow " and worse.

My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his

expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying " Hail

Satan " when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough

for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it acceptable

with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they

allowed it and not because Ian couldn't " deal " with it.

Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

( ) letters to his school.........and

teachers/principals' reply

Hope this all makes sense........

 

I think most of you know of our stuggles with finding a place for Ian

to go to school.  Pub school through 5th, virtual school 6 and 7. 

Then, he wanted to " go back " for 8th, so we found a small parochial.

This seems very good....but there were absolutely no accomodations.  No

help with organization or remembering his stuff.......or helping with

fitting in....no explaining to others about him..........

I asked and asked for help.  Sent tons of info to them.  Talked with

them through email and in person bi-daily.......sometimes more.  Was

always told, " We'll keep working at it....he'll get there.... " , etc.

He started failing classes.  Never brought certain " failing " subjects

home.......ugh.

No matter what we asked, we were not let in to talk with the

kids......or told of how the grades or work could be modified.......we

were constantly met with a smile and told that they'd work at it.

Meanwhile, he got constant " demerits " for talking or standing up or

walking around (which was called being

disrespectful)...........ugh.......

So,,,we dedided to contact the local middle school and they were ready

to help.

Here is the letter, in green,  I sent them to get it all started.

The letter after that, in red, addresses to them the next day, the

issues that Ian has been having with his " team " .....and my frustration

with the school to deal with it.  I want to also say, that my email may

seem a bit harsh, but we have constant issues with comments to Ian. 

Comments about him being so " religious " and laughing.  This is on the

field during practice and in the vans they drive over in to the field. 

If Ian rides over in the van not driven by Rory, the coach, the kids

driving the other van will put in music that they tell Ian, is

" Satanic " music.  So,,,,,bare with me in this letter, because it has

all been brought up to the coach and we are told that " they're working

on iT " .

 

After that, is the teachers'/principals' reply, in blue. 

s the 2nd sentence he replies with, a bit of a slam or am I just

" bruised " ? 

 

 

Hi ,

 

I wanted to talk with you, and since there was a lot that I wanted to

say, I thought I'd type it up.

 

I thank you for taking on Ian, despite his special needs.  You were

very welcoming, and he needed this when he made the decision to go back

to school.

 

This is probably no real news to you, but we have been struggling, and

have made the decision to take him out and put him in B**** Al***,

which is in NFDL. 

He will be mainstreamed there, but have an aide with him in every class

for focus, correction and 1-1 guidance.  There will also be social

skills groups that he will be a part of, which is very needed.

 

Because of his OCD, which has been on the religious-obsession-side, it

has become increasingly hard.  On him and you, probably, as well.  The

" God bless you's " and " Peace be with you's " have increased and we have

actually gone against the doctor who has suggested that he not take

Bible Class, since this may be increasing his thoughts toward the

subject. 

 

His inability to focus, need for 1-1 organizational help and homework

help needs to be addressed and made a priority right now.  He cannot

keep going in the academic direction that he is going.  I know both you

and Mr. know this.  The grades that I've seen, (only Science and

English), are pretty unacceptable and to me - and I'm sure to you as

well - and suggest that he cannot keep up.  I don't feel that it's over

his head, because I know that when talking with him, he knows the

material.  He just cannot get it on paper. 

It is very hard for you to teach a student who can't focus. 

It is almost impossible for him to learn when he can't focus. 

It is hard for him to make academics a priority when he is is socially

immature and isn't socially " with it " and would rather get attention,

so he does naughty things without thinking of the consequences.  Ugh.

It is hurting him in the long-run when he obviously needs more 1-1 and

some social skills work and isn't getting it.  I don't mean this

" negatively " towards you or TBS, it's just that it isn't an option to

get these needed accomodations.

I'm sure  you both had goals for him and had hoped it would work, but I

just don't think that there is enough in place to

appropriately, accommodate him.

 

Academically, when he is home and I am right with him doing homework,

we can accomplish most tasks.  But, it just is not working in the

setting that he is in, now.  Again, I don't mean this as a 'negative'

towards you or your school.  Not at all.  I just think that we all

should realize our limits and see what it best for Ian.  I had hoped

that a smaller setting would " do the trick " , but sadly, it didn't. 

And having things in place for him to academically " continue in a

positive direction " is very important.  It is for all kids.

 

Ian wants more than anything to finish out the soccer season, which

would put his last day at TBS as the 30th of October.  (He would play

during the tournament on Saturday, the 31st).

We would wash up and return his shirt to Rory the next week.

 

If his pictures from Quick and Smart Photography come in after the

30th, feel free to just mail them to us.  Same with our partial-tuition

refund.  If anything else comes up, always feel free to call or email.

 

I'm sure that B**** Al**** will be contacting TBS for his records soon. 

 

I do want to make sure that you know that Ian has liked it there.  Even

though he has struggled socially and known that he hasn't fit with

anyone (and seems to have run-ins with Matt and daily), he has

had a good feeling with it being a Christian school.  So, I thank you

for that and allowing us to be a part of it.

 

As far as trying to make his  transition, this:

 

Tuesday, the 20th, I will need to pick him up between 1:45 or 2:00.  We

need to meet at Be**** Al*** to set up a new IEP for him.  If you have

any information that would help set things in place, I'd love for you

to send it along, seeing that you've been with him for the past almost

2 months. 

 

Friday, the 23rd, he has a therapist appointment in the morning, so I

will bring him back afterward.  He will be back for lunch, I'm sure.

 

We understand if, since he's leaving, that it would be better for

him/you, if he left now, but hope, for his sake, that he's allowed to

finish up the 2 weeks of school and can finish with his soccer team. 

This, like I said, is very important to him, as he's never been on a

team before.

 

Again, thanks so much for everything and your understanding.

 

and Robin

 

 

******************************************************

 

 

Hi ,

 

I just picked Ian up from Soccer practice last night and he, again, 

told me about how Matt and are saying " Hail Satan " while making a

" hand sign " .    This, obviously, freaks Ian out and has been freaking

him out for a while now.

 

He also said that he told Pastor Rory at practice and was told to try

to ignore them.

Aside from it freaking Ian out because of his intense religious

obsessions, it is extremely upsetting to me, as well.

 

Like I stated in the earlier email, Ian knows he has not fit with the

other kids at TBS, and he keeps trying to plug on knowing that he's

basically alone there, but being taunted and laughed at by using

comments about Satan as a way to " get him " is too much.

 

I know, sadly, that if he continues his " religious behavior " because of

his OCD at Bessie , he's going to be picked on there, as well. 

But, that is different to me, than having kids at a Christian school

doing it.  I'm sure you'll agree.

 

Ian is going to be done at TBS as of yesterday and we'll send his books

back with the Ninneman's.

If he left anything there, please send it home with Sheila N today. 

Thanks so much.

 

After he told me about the " Satan comments " , he said that he didn't

want to let his team down by leaving, and I had to tell him the truth. 

That if he was a real part of the team, they wouldn't want to hurt him

or make fun of him.  That the adults in charge would make sure that all

the members of the team treated him with human respect. 

I think that adults always have the opportunity to open doors for the

" typical " kids by showing them how to, perhaps, welcome the " outsider "

and encourage them,,, and then see how accepting the " outsider "

can actually change the behavior of the one " in need " . 

This may be really hard to believe, but Ian comes home every night and

tells us about the " naughty " things he did.  And he also wishes he

wouldn't have done them.  He also knows how he ticked the other kids

off by doing the things that he did.  So, we go over it all and talk

about what he SHOULD have done or what he could have done.   

I honestly believe that he does the things he does to try to fit and be

accepted.

 

I wish the best for you and your school, .  I also think that

maybe this experience with a kid with a unique mix of special behaviors

and needs can be looked back on and used as a learning tool for TBS. 

Maybe it can even be used with some of the kids there that may need to

see that not all kids are the same.  Some people can have disabilities

and not look like it.....because the disability is IN them and just

comes out in the form of awkward and annoying to some. 

I guess in a perfect world, anyone with a disability would look like it

- that way people around them would just " know " . 

I don't want to walk away from TBS with you or anyone there thinking

that we were blind to the realities of Ian and his issues.  I can't

stress enough that I am fully aware of his behaviors.  I also can't

stress enough that he is more than a handful.

But, he is also an amazing kid, made by God, who just wants to fit

in.....but doesn't. 

He is kind and loving and good.  He loves God more than I can even

comprehend, and when he " acts wrong " or " disrespectful " , it's usually

because he is frustrated, confused and socially immature, and it comes

out that way - as disrespectful and wrong. 

 

*****************

He also said that you taped him today to show how he " is " in class.  I

hope that this was for a positive, teaching tool.  To see, and perhaps

show, what is going on and learn how to tackle and work with it? 

I know this is done in a variety of schools for training of spec ed

teachers and aides.  This would be an amazing tool for TBS, especially

if you are still looking ahead to becoming a place that can provide an

appropriate place that is accepting of special needs kids. 

 

*************

I don't take away what I said in the earlier email to you.  I do thank

you for taking us " on " and teaching him for the last 2 months. 

 

God bless and take care.

and Robin Lemke

 

 ****************************************************************

 

 Sorry to hear of you choice, but it is understood.  Unfortunately

these kids do not have the character to work things out with other

students.  As for the taping thing - I did tape our class to

demonstrate that they could all get along and function as a good class

together.  This was not just for " Ian " it was for our whole class.  

I hope that I can give you any help in the future that you need and

believe me it was a privilege to teach Ian.

I do see the inside of him and that is why I had no problem having him

in our school and in my classes.  It seemed that he was making progress

and I was looking forward to getting past the roughest part of the

year.  I trust that the next step for Ian will be good for not only him

but your whole family.

Thank you for letting me work with him I will be forever thankful for

knowing Ian and your family.

 

 

 

 

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Most schools have a very strict rule against bullying.  I would complain to the principal about this.

Lindsey senhttp://5kidswdisabilities.wordpress.comOn Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 9:29 AM, Roxanna <MadIdeas@...> wrote:

 

Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to

stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.

For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids

found out he hated the color yellow and so they said " yellow " to him

constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell

phone number and they were calling him and saying " yellow " and worse.

My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his

expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying " Hail

Satan " when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough

for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it acceptable

with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they

allowed it and not because Ian couldn't " deal " with it.

Roxanna

[Guest guest]

I hear you....and totally agree!!!!

It was horrible......and looking back, I wish I would have made more of a "stink"........

Anyway,,,,,he's been at the pub school since then and is honestly doing wonderfully.

Someone is in each class and they actually write down his work in a homework log or write down that he doesn't' have any.

I'm amazed..............and so happy for him.

I thank the teachers daily,,,,hope they don't get sick of it and accuse me of stalking. he he.

But,,,,,,,darn it, good, caring teachers deserve the fricken world.

Also, what's so funny to me, is that, they sent home his grades and his "average" so far after just a few weeks, yesterday. He was flunking it all at the last "christian" school, but now he's got all A's. It's not that they're doing it all for him, either. Or not giving him work. He's got work, but he's got encouragement and understanding.

We all need to know that none of "US" have to put up with crappy situations with schools. I know we've all been there.....but there are sooooo many options out there. It may take lots of time to find that "fit",,,,,and I really hope Ian is there now,,,,,,,,but I will continue to yank my kids, AS or Typical, out of any place that doesn't provide what they deserve......

Wow....I"m on a roll. It feels good to be happy with school and not have my gut in a sick-feeling knot all the time.

Have a good one.

Robin

From: Roxanna <MadIdeas@...>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school.........and teachers/principals' reply Date: Tuesday, November 17, 2009, 8:29 AM

Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse. My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it acceptable with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.Roxanna"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E.

Burke ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' replyHope this all makes sense....... . I think most of you know of our stuggles with finding a place for Ian to go to school. Pub school through 5th, virtual school 6 and 7. Then, he wanted to "go back" for 8th, so we found a small parochial.This seems very good....but there were absolutely no accomodations. No help

with organization or remembering his stuff....... or helping with fitting in....no explaining to others about him......... .I asked and asked for help. Sent tons of info to them. Talked with them through email and in person bi-daily.... ...sometimes more. Was always told, "We'll keep working at it....he'll get there....", etc.He started failing classes. Never brought certain "failing" subjects home........ugh.No matter what we asked, we were not let in to talk with the kids......or told of how the grades or work could be modified.... ....we were constantly met with a smile and told that they'd work at it.Meanwhile, he got constant "demerits" for talking or standing up or walking around (which was called being disrespectful) ......... ..ugh..... ...So,,,we dedided to contact the local middle school and they were ready to help.Here is the letter, in green,

I sent them to get it all started.The letter after that, in red, addresses to them the next day, the issues that Ian has been having with his "team".....and my frustration with the school to deal with it. I want to also say, that my email may seem a bit harsh, but we have constant issues with comments to Ian. Comments about him being so "religious" and laughing. This is on the field during practice and in the vans they drive over in to the field. If Ian rides over in the van not driven by Rory, the coach, the kids driving the other van will put in music that they tell Ian, is "Satanic" music. So,,,,,bare with me in this letter, because it has all been brought up to the coach and we are told that "they're working on iT". After that, is the teachers'/principal s' reply, in blue. s the 2nd sentence he replies with, a bit of a slam or am I

just "bruised"? Hi , I wanted to talk with you, and since there was a lot that I wanted to say, I thought I'd type it up. I thank you for taking on Ian, despite his special needs. You were very welcoming, and he needed this when he made the decision to go back to school. This is probably no real news to you, but we have been struggling, and have made the decision to take him out and put him in B**** Al***, which is in NFDL. He will be mainstreamed there, but have an aide with him in every class for focus, correction and 1-1 guidance. There will also be social skills groups that he will be a part of, which is very needed. Because of his OCD, which has been on the religious-obsession -side, it has become increasingly hard. On him and you, probably, as

well. The "God bless you's" and "Peace be with you's" have increased and we have actually gone against the doctor who has suggested that he not take Bible Class, since this may be increasing his thoughts toward the subject. His inability to focus, need for 1-1 organizational help and homework help needs to be addressed and made a priority right now. He cannot keep going in the academic direction that he is going. I know both you and Mr. know this. The grades that I've seen, (only Science and English), are pretty unacceptable and to me - and I'm sure to you as well - and suggest that he cannot keep up. I don't feel that it's over his head, because I know that when talking with him, he knows the material. He just cannot get it on paper. It is very hard for you to teach a student who can't focus. It

is almost impossible for him to learn when he can't focus. It is hard for him to make academics a priority when he is is socially immature and isn't socially "with it" and would rather get attention, so he does naughty things without thinking of the consequences. Ugh.It is hurting him in the long-run when he obviously needs more 1-1 and some social skills work and isn't getting it. I don't mean this "negatively" towards you or TBS, it's just that it isn't an option to get these needed accomodations.I'm sure you both had goals for him and had hoped it would work, but I just don't think that there is enough in place to appropriately, accommodate him. Academically, when he is home and I am right with him doing homework, we can accomplish most tasks. But, it just is not working in the setting that he is in,

now. Again, I don't mean this as a 'negative' towards you or your school. Not at all. I just think that we all should realize our limits and see what it best for Ian. I had hoped that a smaller setting would "do the trick", but sadly, it didn't. And having things in place for him to academically "continue in a positive direction" is very important. It is for all kids. Ian wants more than anything to finish out the soccer season, which would put his last day at TBS as the 30th of October. (He would play during the tournament on Saturday, the 31st).We would wash up and return his shirt to Rory the next week. If his pictures from Quick and Smart Photography come in after the 30th, feel free to just mail them to us. Same with our partial-tuition refund. If anything else comes up, always feel free to call or

email. I'm sure that B**** Al**** will be contacting TBS for his records soon. I do want to make sure that you know that Ian has liked it there. Even though he has struggled socially and known that he hasn't fit with anyone (and seems to have run-ins with Matt and daily), he has had a good feeling with it being a Christian school. So, I thank you for that and allowing us to be a part of it. As far as trying to make his transition, this: Tuesday, the 20th, I will need to pick him up between 1:45 or 2:00. We need to meet at Be**** Al*** to set up a new IEP for him. If you have any information that would help set things in place, I'd love for you to send it along, seeing that you've been with him for the past almost 2 months. Friday, the 23rd,

he has a therapist appointment in the morning, so I will bring him back afterward. He will be back for lunch, I'm sure. We understand if, since he's leaving, that it would be better for him/you, if he left now, but hope, for his sake, that he's allowed to finish up the 2 weeks of school and can finish with his soccer team. This, like I said, is very important to him, as he's never been on a team before. Again, thanks so much for everything and your understanding. and Robin ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ****** Hi , I just picked Ian up from Soccer practice last night and he, again, told me about how Matt and are saying "Hail Satan" while making a "hand sign". This, obviously, freaks Ian out

and has been freaking him out for a while now. He also said that he told Pastor Rory at practice and was told to try to ignore them.Aside from it freaking Ian out because of his intense religious obsessions, it is extremely upsetting to me, as well. Like I stated in the earlier email, Ian knows he has not fit with the other kids at TBS, and he keeps trying to plug on knowing that he's basically alone there, but being taunted and laughed at by using comments about Satan as a way to "get him" is too much. I know, sadly, that if he continues his "religious behavior" because of his OCD at Bessie , he's going to be picked on there, as well. But, that is different to me, than having kids at a Christian school doing it. I'm sure you'll agree. Ian is going to be done at TBS as of yesterday and we'll send

his books back with the Ninneman's.If he left anything there, please send it home with Sheila N today. Thanks so much. After he told me about the "Satan comments", he said that he didn't want to let his team down by leaving, and I had to tell him the truth. That if he was a real part of the team, they wouldn't want to hurt him or make fun of him. That the adults in charge would make sure that all the members of the team treated him with human respect. I think that adults always have the opportunity to open doors for the "typical" kids by showing them how to, perhaps, welcome the "outsider" and encourage them,,, and then see how accepting the "outsider" can actually change the behavior of the one "in need". This may be really hard to believe, but Ian comes home every night and tells us about the "naughty" things he did. And he

also wishes he wouldn't have done them. He also knows how he ticked the other kids off by doing the things that he did. So, we go over it all and talk about what he SHOULD have done or what he could have done. I honestly believe that he does the things he does to try to fit and be accepted. I wish the best for you and your school, . I also think that maybe this experience with a kid with a unique mix of special behaviors and needs can be looked back on and used as a learning tool for TBS. Maybe it can even be used with some of the kids there that may need to see that not all kids are the same. Some people can have disabilities and not look like it.....because the disability is IN them and just comes out in the form of awkward and annoying to some. I guess in a perfect world, anyone with a disability

would look like it - that way people around them would just "know". I don't want to walk away from TBS with you or anyone there thinking that we were blind to the realities of Ian and his issues. I can't stress enough that I am fully aware of his behaviors. I also can't stress enough that he is more than a handful.But, he is also an amazing kid, made by God, who just wants to fit in.....but doesn't. He is kind and loving and good. He loves God more than I can even comprehend, and when he "acts wrong" or "disrespectful" , it's usually because he is frustrated, confused and socially immature, and it comes out that way - as disrespectful and wrong. ************ *****He also said that you taped him today to show how he "is" in class. I hope that this was for a positive, teaching tool. To see, and perhaps show, what is

going on and learn how to tackle and work with it? I know this is done in a variety of schools for training of spec ed teachers and aides. This would be an amazing tool for TBS, especially if you are still looking ahead to becoming a place that can provide an appropriate place that is accepting of special needs kids. ************ *I don't take away what I said in the earlier email to you. I do thank you for taking us "on" and teaching him for the last 2 months. God bless and take care. and Robin Lemke ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******* Sorry to hear of you choice, but it is understood. Unfortunately these kids do not have the character to work things out with other students. As for the taping thing - I did

tape our class to demonstrate that they could all get along and function as a good class together. This was not just for "Ian" it was for our whole class. I hope that I can give you any help in the future that you need and believe me it was a privilege to teach Ian.I do see the inside of him and that is why I had no problem having him in our school and in my classes. It seemed that he was making progress and I was looking forward to getting past the roughest part of the year. I trust that the next step for Ian will be good for not only him but your whole family.Thank you for letting me work with him I will be forever thankful for knowing Ian and your family. ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __

[Guest guest]

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy

against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power

to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to

confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that

their child is innocent.

EXAMPLE;

my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all

the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell " i dont

want to talk about it! " .

finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a " feild day " . the

kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully

my daughter.

my wife approached the principle and the principle said " if we dont see it ,or

have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do

anything about it " (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).

so a little girl that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to

step forward and sya aloud " i see these kids do it to her all the time! " . the

priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she

was freinds with my daughter.

my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the

principle just walked away.

we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from

them as we got from the principal.

once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if we burned every

school official at the stake that was not helping our kids, we would live in a

verrrrrrry smokey country.

>

> >

> >

> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to

> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.

> >

> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids

> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said " yellow " to him

> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell

> > phone number and they were calling him and saying " yellow " and worse.

> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his

> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying " Hail

> > Satan " when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough

> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it acceptable

> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they

> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't " deal " with it.

> >

> > Roxanna

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

our school system is the same way! do you know how many times times i have had teachers lie to my face and say "i didnt know something was going on" when my son TOLD them there was something going on. i have also heard about my own son and many others "if we didnt see it, we cant do anything about it" its all a crock! the teachers nor the administration want to deal with bullying as much as they want to deal with kids who are "different". i mean my god i have had an assistant principal chase my son down a hall and put her hands on him because he said he needed space to take a break (which was part of his behavior plan).. she grabbed him and he punched her square in the chin.. i have to say that in 9 years of 2 kids being in school we have had 3 decent teachers who actually understand what is going on. it is insane!

Re: ( ) letters to his school.........and teachers/principals' reply

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if we burned every school official at the stake that was not helping our kids, we would live in a verrrrrrry smokey country.> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>

[Guest guest]

Ditto,,,,,and Amen to what you just said, "video228". There ARE some who attempt to take a stance. But, in a big school........the one being bullied and is in need protection is too often ignored and pushed aside. It's a lot easier to do that to them.

If you want to fight it, I think YOU have to be the one to fight it. Take it up as high as you can. Just realize that most schools won't do it on their own. You gotta do it. Shame on schools, but that's the way it is.

Robin

From: video228 <video228@...>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school.........and teachers/principals' reply Date: Wednesday, November 18, 2009, 7:22 PM

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl

that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if we burned every school official at the stake that was not helping our kids, we would live in a verrrrrrry smokey country.> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much

fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>

[Guest guest]

"Burned at the stake?" ARE YOU SERIOUS? My goodness...

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: video228 <video228@...> Sent: Wed, November 18, 2009 7:22:55 PMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school.........and teachers/principals' reply

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl that

knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if we burned every school official at the stake that was not helping our kids, we would live in a verrrrrrry smokey country.> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a

fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>

[Guest guest]

Scotland to would have a distinct smokey hew Lindsey, our sons school is the same, even when he tells us things have happened in class, the teacher somehow didn't see, even when it resulted in a nose bleed, when I wrote to complain the letter I received in reply was very carefully worded...the events that occurred, did not occur as Gregor described, what am I supposed to take from that?

The best result we have had this year was nothing to do with the school, my husband was chatting to another Dad and mentioned G had probs with bullying ( he is a very small 6 yr old) and the Dad told his son he must watch out for Gregor and stop anyone from hitting him, unbeknownst to my husband or the Dad, the boy was the one that gave Gregor the nose bleed! But it has worked, the boy has taken G under his wing, and G now calls him my guardian angel.

From: video228 <video228@...>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school.........and teachers/principals' reply Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 1:22

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl

that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if we burned every school official at the stake that was not helping our kids, we would live in a verrrrrrry smokey country.> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much

fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>

[Guest guest]

Lorraine,

A while back, someone mentioned your sons name and the book series, "Gregor: the Overlander".

Was it you? he he.

Anyway, we got them and my son lovesssss them!!!

SO, thanks to you and whoever it was that brought it all up. They are amazing books!

Have a super day.

Robin

From: video228 <video228 (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 1:22

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl

that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if we burned every school official at the stake that was not helping our kids, we would live in a verrrrrrry smokey country.> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that

he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>

[Guest guest]

Yes, someone did mention the books, I have ordered them for Christmas, hopefully he will enjoy them too. Thanks to the person that posted the book on here, much appreiciated.

Regards

Lor B

From: video228 <video228 (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 1:22

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl

that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if we burned every school official at the stake that was not helping our kids, we would live in a verrrrrrry smokey country.> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that

he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>

[Guest guest]

Come on , he's not really marching of with a bunch of steaks n matches, insert sense of humour here.

From: MacAllister <smacalli@...>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school.........and teachers/principals' reply Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 2:57

"Burned at the stake?" ARE YOU SERIOUS? My goodness...

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: video228 <video228 (DOT) com> Sent: Wed, November 18, 2009 7:22:55 PMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl

that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if we burned every school official at the stake that was not helping our kids, we would live in a verrrrrrry smokey country.> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying

"Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>

[Guest guest]

I'm glad that he is doing so much better now in the new school. I

often wish I had made a bigger " stink " too but you know, we are so worn

down by this stuff that we sometimes lack the energy to do that. Well,

that is how it is for me anyway. I think, " I should have... " and then

I remind myself that I was just keeping myself sane and didn't have

enough energy to fight city hall at the same time. <g>

Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

( ) letters to his school...... ...and

teachers/principals ' reply

Hope this all makes sense....... .

 

I think most of you know of our stuggles with finding a place for Ian

to go to school.  Pub school through 5th, virtual school 6 and 7. 

Then, he wanted to " go back " for 8th, so we found a small parochial.

This seems very good....but there were absolutely no accomodations.  No

help with organization or remembering his stuff....... or helping with

fitting in....no explaining to others about him......... .

I asked and asked for help.  Sent tons of info to them.  Talked with

them through email and in person bi-daily.... ...sometimes more.  Was

always told, " We'll keep working at it....he'll get there.... " , etc.

He started failing classes.  Never brought certain " failing " subjects

home........ugh.

No matter what we asked, we were not let in to talk with the

kids......or told of how the grades or work could be modified....

.....we

were constantly met with a smile and told that they'd work at it.

Meanwhile, he got constant " demerits " for talking or standing up or

walking around (which was called being

disrespectful) ......... ..ugh..... ...

So,,,we dedided to contact the local middle school and they were ready

to help.

Here is the letter, in green,  I sent them to get it all started.

The letter after that, in red, addresses to them the next day, the

issues that Ian has been having with his " team " .....and my frustration

with the school to deal with it.  I want to also say, that my email may

seem a bit harsh, but we have constant issues with comments to Ian. 

Comments about him being so " religious " and laughing.  This is on the

field during practice and in the vans they drive over in to the field. 

If Ian rides over in the van not driven by Rory, the coach, the kids

driving the other van will put in music that they tell Ian, is

" Satanic " music.  So,,,,,bare with me in this letter, because it has

all been brought up to the coach and we are told that " they're working

on iT " .

 

After that, is the teachers'/principal s' reply, in blue. 

s the 2nd sentence he replies with, a bit of a slam or am I just

" bruised " ? 

 

 

Hi ,

 

I wanted to talk with you, and since there was a lot that I wanted to

say, I thought I'd type it up.

 

I thank you for taking on Ian, despite his special needs.  You were

very welcoming, and he needed this when he made the decision to go back

to school.

 

This is probably no real news to you, but we have been struggling, and

have made the decision to take him out and put him in B**** Al***,

which is in NFDL. 

He will be mainstreamed there, but have an aide with him in every class

for focus, correction and 1-1 guidance.  There will also be social

skills groups that he will be a part of, which is very needed.

 

Because of his OCD, which has been on the religious-obsession -side, it

has become increasingly hard.  On him and you, probably, as well.  The

" God bless you's " and " Peace be with you's " have increased and we have

actually gone against the doctor who has suggested that he not take

Bible Class, since this may be increasing his thoughts toward the

subject. 

 

His inability to focus, need for 1-1 organizational help and homework

help needs to be addressed and made a priority right now.  He cannot

keep going in the academic direction that he is going.  I know both you

and Mr. know this.  The grades that I've seen, (only Science and

English), are pretty unacceptable and to me - and I'm sure to you as

well - and suggest that he cannot keep up.  I don't feel that it's over

his head, because I know that when talking with him, he knows the

material.  He just cannot get it on paper. 

It is very hard for you to teach a student who can't focus. 

It is almost impossible for him to learn when he can't focus. 

It is hard for him to make academics a priority when he is is socially

immature and isn't socially " with it " and would rather get attention,

so he does naughty things without thinking of the consequences.  Ugh.

It is hurting him in the long-run when he obviously needs more 1-1 and

some social skills work and isn't getting it.  I don't mean this

" negatively " towards you or TBS, it's just that it isn't an option to

get these needed accomodations.

I'm sure  you both had goals for him and had hoped it would work, but I

just don't think that there is enough in place to

appropriately,  accommodate him.

 

Academically, when he is home and I am right with him doing homework,

we can accomplish most tasks.  But, it just is not working in the

setting that he is in, now.  Again, I don't mean this as a 'negative'

towards you or your school.  Not at all.  I just think that we all

should realize our limits and see what it best for Ian.  I had hoped

that a smaller setting would " do the trick " , but sadly, it didn't. 

And having things in place for him to academically " continue in a

positive direction " is very important.  It is for all kids.

 

Ian wants more than anything to finish out the soccer season, which

would put his last day at TBS as the 30th of October.  (He would play

during the tournament on Saturday, the 31st).

We would wash up and return his shirt to Rory the next week.

 

If his pictures from Quick and Smart Photography come in after the

30th, feel free to just mail them to us.  Same with our partial-tuition

refund.  If anything else comes up, always feel free to call or email.

 

I'm sure that B**** Al**** will be contacting TBS for his records soon. 

 

I do want to make sure that you know that Ian has liked it there.  Even

though he has struggled socially and known that he hasn't fit with

anyone (and seems to have run-ins with Matt and daily), he has

had a good feeling with it being a Christian school.  So, I thank you

for that and allowing us to be a part of it.

 

As far as trying to make his  transition, this:

 

Tuesday, the 20th, I will need to pick him up between 1:45 or 2:00.  We

need to meet at Be**** Al*** to set up a new IEP for him.  If you have

any information that would help set things in place, I'd love for you

to send it along, seeing that you've been with him for the past almost

2 months. 

 

Friday, the 23rd, he has a therapist appointment in the morning, so I

will bring him back afterward.  He will be back for lunch, I'm sure.

 

We understand if, since he's leaving, that it would be better for

him/you, if he left now, but hope, for his sake, that he's allowed to

finish up the 2 weeks of school and can finish with his soccer team. 

This, like I said, is very important to him, as he's never been on a

team before.

 

Again, thanks so much for everything and your understanding.

 

and Robin

 

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ******

 

 

Hi ,

 

I just picked Ian up from Soccer practice last night and he, again, 

told me about how Matt and are saying " Hail Satan " while making a

" hand sign " .    This, obviously, freaks Ian out and has been freaking

him out for a while now.

 

He also said that he told Pastor Rory at practice and was told to try

to ignore them.

Aside from it freaking Ian out because of his intense religious

obsessions, it is extremely upsetting to me, as well.

 

Like I stated in the earlier email, Ian knows he has not fit with the

other kids at TBS, and he keeps trying to plug on knowing that he's

basically alone there, but being taunted and laughed at by using

comments about Satan as a way to " get him " is too much.

 

I know, sadly, that if he continues his " religious behavior " because of

his OCD at Bessie , he's going to be picked on there, as well. 

But, that is different to me, than having kids at a Christian school

doing it.  I'm sure you'll agree.

 

Ian is going to be done at TBS as of yesterday and we'll send his books

back with the Ninneman's.

If he left anything there, please send it home with Sheila N today. 

Thanks so much.

 

After he told me about the " Satan comments " , he said that he didn't

want to let his team down by leaving, and I had to tell him the truth. 

That if he was a real part of the team, they wouldn't want to hurt him

or make fun of him.  That the adults in charge would make sure that all

the members of the team treated him with human respect. 

I think that adults always have the opportunity to open doors for the

" typical " kids by showing them how to, perhaps, welcome the " outsider "

and encourage them,,, and then see how accepting the " outsider "

can actually change the behavior of the one " in need " . 

This may be really hard to believe, but Ian comes home every night and

tells us about the " naughty " things he did.  And he also wishes he

wouldn't have done them.  He also knows how he ticked the other kids

off by doing the things that he did.  So, we go over it all and talk

about what he SHOULD have done or what he could have done.   

I honestly believe that he does the things he does to try to fit and be

accepted.

 

I wish the best for you and your school, .  I also think that

maybe this experience with a kid with a unique mix of special behaviors

and needs can be looked back on and used as a learning tool for TBS. 

Maybe it can even be used with some of the kids there that may need to

see that not all kids are the same.  Some people can have disabilities

and not look like it.....because the disability is IN them and just

comes out in the form of awkward and annoying to some. 

I guess in a perfect world, anyone with a disability would look like it

- that way people around them would just " know " . 

I don't want to walk away from TBS with you or anyone there thinking

that we were blind to the realities of Ian and his issues.  I can't

stress enough that I am fully aware of his behaviors.  I also can't

stress enough that he is more than a handful.

But, he is also an amazing kid, made by God, who just wants to fit

in.....but doesn't. 

He is kind and loving and good.  He loves God more than I can even

comprehend, and when he " acts wrong " or " disrespectful " , it's usually

because he is frustrated, confused and socially immature, and it comes

out that way - as disrespectful and wrong. 

 

************ *****

He also said that you taped him today to show how he " is " in class.  I

hope that this was for a positive, teaching tool.  To see, and perhaps

show, what is going on and learn how to tackle and work with it? 

I know this is done in a variety of schools for training of spec ed

teachers and aides.  This would be an amazing tool for TBS, especially

if you are still looking ahead to becoming a place that can provide an

appropriate place that is accepting of special needs kids. 

 

************ *

I don't take away what I said in the earlier email to you.  I do thank

you for taking us " on " and teaching him for the last 2 months. 

 

God bless and take care.

and Robin Lemke

 

 ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *******

 

 Sorry to hear of you choice, but it is understood.  Unfortunately

these kids do not have the character to work things out with other

students.  As for the taping thing - I did tape our class to

demonstrate that they could all get along and function as a good class

together.  This was not just for " Ian " it was for our whole class.  

I hope that I can give you any help in the future that you need and

believe me it was a privilege to teach Ian.

I do see the inside of him and that is why I had no problem having him

in our school and in my classes.  It seemed that he was making progress

and I was looking forward to getting past the roughest part of the

year.  I trust that the next step for Ian will be good for not only him

but your whole family.

Thank you for letting me work with him I will be forever thankful for

knowing Ian and your family.

 

 

 

 

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __

[Guest guest]

Yay! I am so glad the kid has stepped up to help Gregor out. That is

what we need more of!

Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

Re: ( ) letters to his school.........and

teachers/principals' reply

Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 1:22

 

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict

policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do

everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political

correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and

hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.

EXAMPLE;

my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would

cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and

would yell " i dont want to talk about it! " .

finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a " feild

day " . the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started

to pick on and bully my daughter.

my wife approached the principle and the principle said " if we dont see

it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward

we cant do anything about it " (and by the way, it was happening in

plain sight).

so a little girl that knows my daughter and has seen it several times

decided to step forward and sya aloud " i see these kids do it to her

all the time! " . the priciple just respnded to the child that she was

just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.

my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl

was. the principle just walked away.

we complained to the school board about it and received the same

response from them as we got from the principal.

once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if we burned

every school official at the stake that was not helping our kids, we

would live in a verrrrrrry smokey country.

>

> >

> >

> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the

character to

> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.

> >

> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids

> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said " yellow " to him

> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell

> > phone number and they were calling him and saying " yellow " and

worse.

> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his

> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying " Hail

> > Satan " when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy

enough

> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it acceptable

> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they

> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't " deal " with it.

> >

> > Roxanna

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Put in writing what is going on so you can create a paper trail of the

problem. Let everyone know in writing. Also, when people say, " I

didn't see that... " you need to let them know that you expect them to

be looking for it. Like any parent knows, we may miss a lot of things

our kids are doing. But once we realize what they are up to, we keep

watch for it. It's common sense. Oh yeah....there's the problem...lol.

Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

Re: ( ) letters to his school.........and

teachers/principals' reply

our school system is the same way! do you know how many times times i

have had teachers lie to my face and say " i didnt know something was

going on " when my son TOLD them there was something going on. i have

also heard about my own son and many others " if we didnt see it, we

cant do anything about it " its all a crock! the teachers nor the

administration want to deal with bullying as much as they want to deal

with kids who are " different " . i mean my god i have had an assistant

principal chase my son down a hall and put her hands on him because he

said he needed space to take a break (which was part of his behavior

plan).. she grabbed him and he punched her square in the chin.. i have

to say that in 9 years of 2 kids being in school we have had 3 decent

teachers who actually understand what is going on. it is insane!

Re: ( ) letters to his school.........and

teachers/principals' reply

 

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict

policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do

everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political

correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and

hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.

EXAMPLE;

my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she

would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her

frustration and would yell " i dont want to talk about it! " .

finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a " feild

day " . the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started

to pick on and bully my daughter.

my wife approached the principle and the principle said " if we dont

see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come

forward we cant do anything about it " (and by the way, it was

happening in plain sight).

so a little girl that knows my daughter and has seen it several times

decided to step forward and sya aloud " i see these kids do it to her

all the time! " . the priciple just respnded to the child that she was

just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.

my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl

was. the principle just walked away.

we complained to the school board about it and received the same

response from them as we got from the principal.

once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if we burned

every school official at the stake that was not helping our kids, we

would live in a verrrrrrry smokey country.

>

> >

> >

> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the

character to

> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.

> >

> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The

kids

> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said " yellow " to

him

> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell

> > phone number and they were calling him and saying " yellow " and

worse.

> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his

> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying " Hail

> > Satan " when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy

enough

> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it

acceptable

> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they

> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't " deal " with it.

> >

> > Roxanna

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hey Robin, it was ME! I love those books! My boys haven't even read

them yet...I have! lol. I'm glad you got them and that he likes them.

They are very cool!

Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and

teachers/principals ' reply

Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 1:22

 

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict

policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do

everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political

correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and

hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.

EXAMPLE;

my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would

cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and

would yell " i dont want to talk about it! " .

finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a " feild

day " . the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started

to pick on and bully my daughter.

my wife approached the principle and the principle said " if we dont see

it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward

we cant do anything about it " (and by the way, it was happening in

plain sight).

so a little girl that knows my daughter and has seen it several times

decided to step forward and sya aloud " i see these kids do it to her

all the time! " . the priciple just respnded to the child that she was

just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.

my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl

was. the principle just walked away.

we complained to the school board about it and received the same

response from them as we got from the principal.

once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if we burned

every school official at the stake that was not helping our kids, we

would live in a verrrrrrry smokey country.

>

> >

> >

> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the

character to

> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.

> >

> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids

> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said " yellow " to him

> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell

> > phone number and they were calling him and saying " yellow " and

worse.

> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his

> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying " Hail

> > Satan " when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy

enough

> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it acceptable

> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they

> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't " deal " with it.

> >

> > Roxanna

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Oh exciting! Let me know what he thinks of them!

Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and

teachers/principals ' reply

Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 1:22

 

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict

policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do

everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political

correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and

hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.

EXAMPLE;

my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would

cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and

would yell " i dont want to talk about it! " .

finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a " feild

day " . the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started

to pick on and bully my daughter.

my wife approached the principle and the principle said " if we dont see

it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward

we cant do anything about it " (and by the way, it was happening in

plain sight).

so a little girl that knows my daughter and has seen it several times

decided to step forward and sya aloud " i see these kids do it to her

all the time! " . the priciple just respnded to the child that she was

just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.

my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl

was. the principle just walked away.

we complained to the school board about it and received the same

response from them as we got from the principal.

once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if we burned

every school official at the stake that was not helping our kids, we

would live in a verrrrrrry smokey country.

>

> >

> >

> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the

character to

> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.

> >

> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids

> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said " yellow " to him

> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell

> > phone number and they were calling him and saying " yellow " and

worse.

> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his

> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying " Hail

> > Satan " when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy

enough

> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it acceptable

> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they

> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't " deal " with it.

> >

> > Roxanna

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I don't know...I mean...sometimes the thought occurs and makes you

wonder if it wouldn't be a better world if we had some bonfires made up

of the clueless...and we could have toasted marshmallows too, lol....

Roxanna (Who is dealing with school nonsense big time lately!!!!!)

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and

teachers/principals ' reply

 

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict

policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do

everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political

correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and

hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.

EXAMPLE;

my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would

cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and

would yell " i dont want to talk about it! " .

finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a " feild

day " . the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started

to pick on and bully my daughter.

my wife approached the principle and the principle said " if we dont see

it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward

we cant do anything about it " (and by the way, it was happening in

plain sight).

so a little girl that knows my daughter and has seen it several times

decided to step forward and sya aloud " i see these kids do it to her

all the time! " . the priciple just respnded to the child that she was

just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.

my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl

was. the principle just walked away.

we complained to the school board about it and received the same

response from them as we got from the principal.

once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if we burned

every school official at the stake that was not helping our kids, we

would live in a verrrrrrry smokey country.

>

> >

> >

> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the

character to

> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.

> >

> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids

> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said " yellow " to him

> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell

> > phone number and they were calling him and saying " yellow " and

worse.

> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his

> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying " Hail

> > Satan " when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy

enough

> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it acceptable

> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they

> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't " deal " with it.

> >

> > Roxanna

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Sorry, my dad is a Special Education teacher who is charged with a boy diagnosed on the autism spectrum this year (7th grader) and he works very hard so I get tired of the blanket statements about how horrible the schools are and how all of the staff suck. It gets old. Jan, on this listserv, also works in Special Ed and she obviously busts her tail on a regular basis. Not everyone related to Special Education is evil, lazy, and should be burned at the stake.

From: Lorraine son <lorrainedavidson12@...> Sent: Thu, November 19, 2009 7:35:08 AMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school.........and teachers/principals' reply

Come on , he's not really marching of with a bunch of steaks n matches, insert sense of humour here.

From: MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 2:57

"Burned at the stake?" ARE YOU SERIOUS? My goodness...

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: video228 <video228 (DOT) com> Sent: Wed, November 18, 2009 7:22:55 PMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl

that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if we burned every school official at the stake that was not helping our kids, we would live in a verrrrrrry smokey country.> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation

with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>

[Guest guest]

Most people on this list all have experience of our childs plight being ignored by the people that are supposed to help and protect them, it wasn't a blanket statement.. he wrote....burned every school official at the stake that was not helping our kids, we would live in a verrrrrrry smokey country.I believe this would exclude workers that were doing their job and helping. I haven't come across anyone so far in the school system that has helped my son in anyway, he is treated as a problem and a hassel they could do without, so from my limited experience so far its at 99% for the steak 1% for a Sainthood, and thats because I've encountered Jan.

Lor B

From: MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 2:57

"Burned at the stake?" ARE YOU SERIOUS? My goodness...

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: video228 <video228 (DOT) com> Sent: Wed, November 18, 2009 7:22:55 PMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl

that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if w> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it

acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger.

[Guest guest]

I'm not saying I've never dealt with difficult school officials, because I have. But some of these comments are too much. I never walk into the building with the attitude that everyone in the school sucks and nobody wants to help. My concerns are handled rather quickly, especially when it comes to bullying. Sorry, but I think when they are dealing with someone who approaches them in a more respectful way, they respond better. But you can keep your approach. Let's see how that works for you.

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: Lorraine son <lorrainedavidson12@...> Sent: Thu, November 19, 2009 9:53:34 AMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school.........and teachers/principals' reply

Most people on this list all have experience of our childs plight being ignored by the people that are supposed to help and protect them, it wasn't a blanket statement.. he wrote....burned every school official at the stake that was not helping our kids, we would live in a verrrrrrry smokey country.I believe this would exclude workers that were doing their job and helping. I haven't come across anyone so far in the school system that has helped my son in anyway, he is treated as a problem and a hassel they could do without, so from my limited experience so far its at 99% for the steak 1% for a Sainthood, and thats because I've encountered Jan.

Lor B

From: MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 2:57

"Burned at the stake?" ARE YOU SERIOUS? My goodness...

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: video228 <video228 (DOT) com> Sent: Wed, November 18, 2009 7:22:55 PMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl

that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if w> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it

acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger .

[Guest guest]

It works well , cause I have a great sense of humour and laugh a lot, most people find its really easy to get on with people like me who dont take life too seriously.

Lx

From: MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 2:57

"Burned at the stake?" ARE YOU SERIOUS? My goodness...

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: video228 <video228 (DOT) com> Sent: Wed, November 18, 2009 7:22:55 PMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl

that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if w> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it

acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger .

[Guest guest]

We obviously have different definitions of what it means to not "take life too seriously."

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: Lorraine son <lorrainedavidson12@...> Sent: Thu, November 19, 2009 10:57:32 AMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school.........and teachers/principals' reply

It works well , cause I have a great sense of humour and laugh a lot, most people find its really easy to get on with people like me who dont take life too seriously.

Lx

From: MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 2:57

"Burned at the stake?" ARE YOU SERIOUS? My goodness...

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: video228 <video228 (DOT) com> Sent: Wed, November 18, 2009 7:22:55 PMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl

that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if w> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it

acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger .

[Guest guest]

Sorry, but I have to chime in here. There is definitely a difference in personality styles reflected in these posts. I think it's important to recognize that when a parent faces obstacles with a school that IS stress inducing. How many of us out there have not gotten our blood boiling over something the school has done wrong with our child suffering the consequence?

It's not truly helpful to tell someone to go kill em with kindness or go bake them some cookies. The idea of not taking things too seriously is meaningless in truly reaching out to someone to offer any type of real help. It actually appears to trivialize the problems. I can't help but wonder how one of, " our kids " would do if told to not take things too seriously??  We each have different approaches and to tell someone that they ought to do it the way that was successful for them doesn't always work or transfer over to the school environment that has the problems.  

On Thu, Nov 19, 2009 at 12:57 PM, MacAllister <smacalli@...> wrote:

 

We obviously have different definitions of what it means to not " take life too seriously. "  

" Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out. "

From: Lorraine son <lorrainedavidson12@...>

Sent: Thu, November 19, 2009 10:57:32 AMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school.........and teachers/principals' reply

 

It works well , cause I have a great sense of humour and laugh a lot, most people find its really easy to get on with people like me who dont take life too seriously.

 

Lx

From: MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply

Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 2:57

 

" Burned at the stake? "   ARE YOU SERIOUS? My goodness... 

" Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out. "

From: video228 <video228 (DOT) com> Sent: Wed, November 18, 2009 7:22:55 PM

Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply 

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.

EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell " i dont want to talk about it! " .finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a " feild day " . the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.

my wife approached the principle and the principle said " if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it " (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).

so a little girl

that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud " i see these kids do it to her all the time! " . the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.

my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.

once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if w> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to

> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said " yellow " to him

> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying " yellow " and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his

> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying " Hail> > Satan " when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it

acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't " deal " with it.> >> > Roxanna> >

> >>Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger .

[Guest guest]

As parents with children that are neurologically diverse we suffer along side of them. Yes there are many professionals that are working to really include those diverse children into the classroom. There are also many other teachers who do not have the education, support or empowerment to be successful. Currently my son is in a school with well meaning teachers and administators. However we all know that well meaning falls far short of reaching goals for success.

My DS has aspergers and functions well however he requires a great deal of verbal reminders to keep on task and to act appropriately. Verbal reminders are a part of his IPP. In reading this IPP I thought that should work. While volunteering in his classroom I witnessed what exactly these verbal reminders looked like. They were constant nagging and it stressed him out, it made me choked with emotion and it highlighted my son as bad. Is he functioning yes but is he included - no. There is no empathy for DS there is no understanding of his diversity. Most of the children love to point out every small mistake he makes. "C knocked over my water bottle." The verbal reminder from teacher, "Pick up the water bottle C" But as his parent I know he has motor planning issues and he was completely unaware that he had knock it over. This is one of literally hundreds of reminders that he gets throughout the day from peers and teachers. I think

his day and the classroom perception of him would be better if the correction would have been, "C didn't see that he knock over the bottle, why do you just pick it up." I think then the classroom would see that the teacher is more on C's side and therefore they would not make his day so difficult. As the more typical person it is our job to show empathy and understanding It is the teacher's job to make these exceptions for the specials needs kids so they can do more than just FUNCTION but rather be included.

I have advocated for presentations to education the other children on his diverse perspective and it has been politely declined. I have advocated for more positive reinforcement and collaborative problem solving for the classroom and been asked what my education is. I have advocated I have cried and I have begged and I am considering homeschooling because before my son went to school he did not feel wierd, he did not feel bad and we both did not cry every day.

So as much as I do not want to be angry at educators I feel there is some lacking and if you are one of those people that has a great teacher then you are truly lucky because from what I read from blogs, online suppoprt groups, other parents it is rare.

Good-luck to all those parents no matter how you choose to advocate for your child.

From: MacAllister <smacalli@...> Sent: Thu, November 19, 2009 10:57:40 AMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school.........and teachers/principals' reply

We obviously have different definitions of what it means to not "take life too seriously."

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: Lorraine son <lorrainedavidson12@ .co. uk> Sent: Thu, November 19, 2009 10:57:32 AMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply

It works well , cause I have a great sense of humour and laugh a lot, most people find its really easy to get on with people like me who dont take life too seriously.

Lx

From: MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 2:57

"Burned at the stake?" ARE YOU SERIOUS? My goodness...

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: video228 <video228 (DOT) com> Sent: Wed, November 18, 2009 7:22:55 PMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl

that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if w> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it

acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger .

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