letters to his school.........and teachers/principals' reply

[Guest guest]

I am resending as this didn't go thru....

Jan

Thank you all for your support and praise...little of which I deserve. i do my job because I love these kids and want to see ALL of them succeed. I work with a boy in Special Ed. but his needs are more phsycial...but my co-worker works with a girl with AS. Believe me when I say this ...I am exhausted when I come home. But, I would not trade my job.

Yet on the other hand....my son goes to the Junior High on the East side (we have one district split into 2 ...East and West because the area is so large). And, I have had to advocate for him and even get an advocate. And, as far as paying....I didn't have to pay a dime. But, what I did because I wanted to was donated money for their gas and paid for their lunch.

Anyways, back to Sped Teachers and Teachers in general....I have worked in 4 schools....elementary, 2 different jr. high, and 2 different high schools. That adds up to a lot of teachers and sped. teachers. With this large amount of contact ....I must tell you...I have only come across two (2) Sped. Teachers that were awful!!!!!!!!!!! And, they both were AWFUL. The Spe.Ed. teachers where I work now (HS) are awesome. I love them. And, let me tell you....many many many of them go above and beyond for their students.

No, we can't lump everyone into one category. And, to tell you the truth, a lot has to do with Administration...asst. principal and principal.

What we need to do is read up on the LAWS and our Rights.. And, as I said the other day...Parents have the upper hand. It is just that the school doesn't want them to know that. IEP's and 504's and Behavior Plans are LEGAL DOCUMENTS that must be COMPLIDED WITH ...AND if they are not...then file for a DUE PROCESS. If the state comes in...believe me...they do not side with the school...they don't want to hear excuses from admin. or teachers...like...I never got the IEP or I have too many kids in the class to follow one child's IEP.Beleive me...it doesn't matter....the state does not CARE about how many kids are in the classroom or that they never got the IEP or read it. It is a LEGAL DOCUMENT and MUST be followed. If not, the school is NOT in COMPLIANCE....and they don't want that...schools don't want to be sued or lose their funding....hmmmm...very very interesting.

jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: Lorraine son <lorrainedavidson12@...> Sent: Thu, November 19, 2009 10:53:34 AMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school.........and teachers/principals' reply

Most people on this list all have experience of our childs plight being ignored by the people that are supposed to help and protect them, it wasn't a blanket statement.. he wrote....burned every school official at the stake that was not helping our kids, we would live in a verrrrrrry smokey country.I believe this would exclude workers that were doing their job and helping. I haven't come across anyone so far in the school system that has helped my son in anyway, he is treated as a problem and a hassel they could do without, so from my limited experience so far its at 99% for the steak 1% for a Sainthood, and thats because I've encountered Jan.

Lor B

From: MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 2:57

"Burned at the stake?" ARE YOU SERIOUS? My goodness...

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: video228 <video228 (DOT) com> Sent: Wed, November 18, 2009 7:22:55 PMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl

that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if w> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it

acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger .

[Guest guest]

OMG...my son had a spec. ed. teacher and that is all she did all day long...do this, don't do that, do your work, get on task, stop this do that blah blah blah blah blah....it really really becomes annoying. So annoying that my child HATED that spec.ed teacher.

So, we must be aware and watch what and how we write things (SDIs) in their IEP!!!

From: Murrel <mommio55@...> Sent: Thu, November 19, 2009 1:31:29 PMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school.........and teachers/principals' reply

As parents with children that are neurologically diverse we suffer along side of them. Yes there are many professionals that are working to really include those diverse children into the classroom. There are also many other teachers who do not have the education, support or empowerment to be successful. Currently my son is in a school with well meaning teachers and administators. However we all know that well meaning falls far short of reaching goals for success.

My DS has aspergers and functions well however he requires a great deal of verbal reminders to keep on task and to act appropriately. Verbal reminders are a part of his IPP. In reading this IPP I thought that should work. While volunteering in his classroom I witnessed what exactly these verbal reminders looked like. They were constant nagging and it stressed him out, it made me choked with emotion and it highlighted my son as bad. Is he functioning yes but is he included - no. There is no empathy for DS there is no understanding of his diversity. Most of the children love to point out every small mistake he makes. "C knocked over my water bottle." The verbal reminder from teacher, "Pick up the water bottle C" But as his parent I know he has motor planning issues and he was completely unaware that he had knock it over. This is one of literally hundreds of reminders that he gets throughout the day from peers and teachers. I think

his day and the classroom perception of him would be better if the correction would have been, "C didn't see that he knock over the bottle, why do you just pick it up." I think then the classroom would see that the teacher is more on C's side and therefore they would not make his day so difficult. As the more typical person it is our job to show empathy and understanding It is the teacher's job to make these exceptions for the specials needs kids so they can do more than just FUNCTION but rather be included.

I have advocated for presentations to education the other children on his diverse perspective and it has been politely declined. I have advocated for more positive reinforcement and collaborative problem solving for the classroom and been asked what my education is. I have advocated I have cried and I have begged and I am considering homeschooling because before my son went to school he did not feel wierd, he did not feel bad and we both did not cry every day.

So as much as I do not want to be angry at educators I feel there is some lacking and if you are one of those people that has a great teacher then you are truly lucky because from what I read from blogs, online suppoprt groups, other parents it is rare.

Good-luck to all those parents no matter how you choose to advocate for your child.

From: MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com> Sent: Thu, November 19, 2009 10:57:40 AMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply

We obviously have different definitions of what it means to not "take life too seriously."

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: Lorraine son <lorrainedavidson12@ .co. uk> Sent: Thu, November 19, 2009 10:57:32 AMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply

It works well , cause I have a great sense of humour and laugh a lot, most people find its really easy to get on with people like me who dont take life too seriously.

Lx

From: MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 2:57

"Burned at the stake?" ARE YOU SERIOUS? My goodness...

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: video228 <video228 (DOT) com> Sent: Wed, November 18, 2009 7:22:55 PMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl

that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if w> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it

acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger .

The new Internet Explorer® 8 - Faster, safer, easier. Optimized for Get it Now for Free!

[Guest guest]

You are misreading the post. Lorraine insinuated that I take life too seriously and can't find the humor in talking about burning someone at the stake. I don't find humor in that so I guess it means I take life too seriously. Whatever. I was advocating that we not celebrate a post referring to burning incompetent educators at the stake. It's too crass for my taste.

I completely understand that it's stressful when you're dealing with teachers/admin who don't understand your child/AS. That has happened to my son on more than one occasion. I try to look at it from a different perspective though. Instead of focusing on what's not happening, I try to see what IS happening that's good and build on it. There are so many posts with these blanket statements about how horrible schools/teacher/admin/support staff/fill-in-the-blank are and I think if that's the attitude you bring into a school - that the people there are only going to try and lie/deny services/treat your child horribly - you are going to have more problems.

If being respectful to you means "baking cookies and killing them with kindness", that's YOUR definition. To me, it means trying to stay positive and treat people with understanding and work together to come up with a solution. You don't have to be a pushover, you can still be firm and advocate for what your child needs, but do it with class and show the people respect as much as you can. Not certain why that is a radical approach.

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: <doyourecycle@...> Sent: Thu, November 19, 2009 12:06:58 PMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school.........and teachers/principals' reply

Sorry, but I have to chime in here. There is definitely a difference in personality styles reflected in these posts. I think it's important to recognize that when a parent faces obstacles with a school that IS stress inducing. How many of us out there have not gotten our blood boiling over something the school has done wrong with our child suffering the consequence?It's not truly helpful to tell someone to go kill em with kindness or go bake them some cookies. The idea of not taking things too seriously is meaningless in truly reaching out to someone to offer any type of real help. It actually appears to trivialize the problems. I can't help but wonder how one of, "our kids" would do if told to not take things too seriously?? We each have different approaches and to tell someone that they ought to do it the way that was successful for them doesn't always work or transfer over to the school

environment that has the problems.

On Thu, Nov 19, 2009 at 12:57 PM, MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com> wrote:

We obviously have different definitions of what it means to not "take life too seriously."

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: Lorraine son <lorrainedavidson12@ .co. uk> Sent: Thu, November 19, 2009 10:57:32 AMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals' reply

It works well , cause I have a great sense of humour and laugh a lot, most people find its really easy to get on with people like me who dont take life too seriously.

Lx

From: MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 2:57

"Burned at the stake?" ARE YOU SERIOUS? My goodness...

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: video228 <video228 (DOT) com> Sent: Wed, November 18, 2009 7:22:55 PMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl

that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if w> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it

acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger .

[Guest guest]

I the point I was trying to make, , was that it was an amusing analogy, and the comment should have been taken as that, and only that.

I take it, in future you reserve the right to be offended and I reserve the right to be amused. And as you say, we'll see who gets on best. For me life is too short to add anymore to this. It has gone way too far aleady.

From: MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 2:57

"Burned at the stake?" ARE YOU SERIOUS? My goodness...

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: video228 <video228 (DOT) com> Sent: Wed, November 18, 2009 7:22:55 PMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl

that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if w> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it

acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger .

[Guest guest]

Thanks Roxanna,

we have bought them for Christmas pressies, sorry for the delay in responing to your posts, for some reason you always end up in my spam!

Lor B

And thanks for the focusing in class ideas, and support. From: video228 <video228 (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 1:22 I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and

would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got

from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if we burned every school official at the stake that was not helping our kids, we would live in a verrrrrrry smokey country.>> >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and

not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>

[Guest guest]

Exactly.

I've found that, like you're saying, I fight to a point and then say, "screw it"......I'll take my son's pub school money elsewhere. he he.

RobinFrom: Roxanna <MadIdeasaol (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply Date: Tuesday, November 17, 2009, 8:29 AM Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character tostand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kidsfound out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to himconstantly. He would flip out

over it. Recently, they got his cellphone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at hisexpense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "HailSatan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enoughfor anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it acceptablewith even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because theyallowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.Roxanna"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to donothing." E. Burke ( ) letters to his school...... ...andteachers/principals ' replyHope this all makes sense....... . I

think most of you know of our stuggles with finding a place for Ianto go to school. Pub school through 5th, virtual school 6 and 7. Then, he wanted to "go back" for 8th, so we found a small parochial.This seems very good....but there were absolutely no accomodations. Nohelp with organization or remembering his stuff....... or helping withfitting in....no explaining to others about him......... .I asked and asked for help. Sent tons of info to them. Talked withthem through email and in person bi-daily.... ...sometimes more. Wasalways told, "We'll keep working at it....he'll get there....", etc.He started failing classes. Never brought certain "failing" subjectshome........ ugh.No matter what we asked, we were not let in to talk with thekids......or told of how the grades or work could be modified.... ....wewere constantly met with a smile and told

that they'd work at it.Meanwhile, he got constant "demerits" for talking or standing up orwalking around (which was called beingdisrespectful) ......... ..ugh..... ...So,,,we dedided to contact the local middle school and they were readyto help.Here is the letter, in green, I sent them to get it all started.The letter after that, in red, addresses to them the next day, theissues that Ian has been having with his "team".....and my frustrationwith the school to deal with it. I want to also say, that my email mayseem a bit harsh, but we have constant issues with comments to Ian. Comments about him being so "religious" and laughing. This is on thefield during practice and in the vans they drive over in to the field. If Ian rides over in the van not driven by Rory, the coach, the kidsdriving the other van will put in music that they tell Ian, is"Satanic"

music. So,,,,,bare with me in this letter, because it hasall been brought up to the coach and we are told that "they're workingon iT". After that, is the teachers'/principal s' reply, in blue. s the 2nd sentence he replies with, a bit of a slam or am I just"bruised"? Hi , I wanted to talk with you, and since there was a lot that I wanted tosay, I thought I'd type it up. I thank you for taking on Ian, despite his special needs. You werevery welcoming, and he needed this when he made the decision to go backto school. This is probably no real news to you, but we have been struggling, andhave made the decision to take him out and put him in B**** Al***,which is in NFDL. He will be mainstreamed there, but have an aide with him in every classfor focus,

correction and 1-1 guidance. There will also be socialskills groups that he will be a part of, which is very needed. Because of his OCD, which has been on the religious-obsession -side, ithas become increasingly hard. On him and you, probably, as well. The"God bless you's" and "Peace be with you's" have increased and we haveactually gone against the doctor who has suggested that he not takeBible Class, since this may be increasing his thoughts toward thesubject. His inability to focus, need for 1-1 organizational help and homeworkhelp needs to be addressed and made a priority right now. He cannotkeep going in the academic direction that he is going. I know both youand Mr. know this. The grades that I've seen, (only Science andEnglish), are pretty unacceptable and to me - and I'm sure to you aswell - and suggest

that he cannot keep up. I don't feel that it's overhis head, because I know that when talking with him, he knows thematerial. He just cannot get it on paper. It is very hard for you to teach a student who can't focus. It is almost impossible for him to learn when he can't focus. It is hard for him to make academics a priority when he is is sociallyimmature and isn't socially "with it" and would rather get attention,so he does naughty things without thinking of the consequences. Ugh.It is hurting him in the long-run when he obviously needs more 1-1 andsome social skills work and isn't getting it. I don't mean this"negatively" towards you or TBS, it's just that it isn't an option toget these needed accomodations.I'm sure you both had goals for him and had hoped it would work, but Ijust don't think

that there is enough in place toappropriately, accommodate him. Academically, when he is home and I am right with him doing homework,we can accomplish most tasks. But, it just is not working in thesetting that he is in, now. Again, I don't mean this as a 'negative'towards you or your school. Not at all. I just think that we allshould realize our limits and see what it best for Ian. I had hopedthat a smaller setting would "do the trick", but sadly, it didn't. And having things in place for him to academically "continue in apositive direction" is very important. It is for all kids. Ian wants more than anything to finish out the soccer season, whichwould put his last day at TBS as the 30th of October. (He would playduring the tournament on Saturday, the 31st).We would wash up and return his shirt to Rory the

next week. If his pictures from Quick and Smart Photography come in after the30th, feel free to just mail them to us. Same with our partial-tuitionrefund. If anything else comes up, always feel free to call or email. I'm sure that B**** Al**** will be contacting TBS for his records soon. I do want to make sure that you know that Ian has liked it there. Eventhough he has struggled socially and known that he hasn't fit withanyone (and seems to have run-ins with Matt and daily), he hashad a good feeling with it being a Christian school. So, I thank youfor that and allowing us to be a part of it. As far as trying to make his transition, this: Tuesday, the 20th, I will need to pick him up between 1:45 or 2:00. Weneed to meet at Be**** Al*** to set up a new

IEP for him. If you haveany information that would help set things in place, I'd love for youto send it along, seeing that you've been with him for the past almost2 months. Friday, the 23rd, he has a therapist appointment in the morning, so Iwill bring him back afterward. He will be back for lunch, I'm sure. We understand if, since he's leaving, that it would be better forhim/you, if he left now, but hope, for his sake, that he's allowed tofinish up the 2 weeks of school and can finish with his soccer team. This, like I said, is very important to him, as he's never been on ateam before. Again, thanks so much for everything and your understanding. and Robin ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ****** Hi

, I just picked Ian up from Soccer practice last night and he, again, told me about how Matt and are saying "Hail Satan" while making a"hand sign". This, obviously, freaks Ian out and has been freakinghim out for a while now. He also said that he told Pastor Rory at practice and was told to tryto ignore them.Aside from it freaking Ian out because of his intense religiousobsessions, it is extremely upsetting to me, as well. Like I stated in the earlier email, Ian knows he has not fit with theother kids at TBS, and he keeps trying to plug on knowing that he'sbasically alone there, but being taunted and laughed at by usingcomments about Satan as a way to "get him" is too much.. I know, sadly, that if he continues his "religious behavior" because ofhis OCD at Bessie , he's going to

be picked on there, as well. But, that is different to me, than having kids at a Christian schooldoing it. I'm sure you'll agree. Ian is going to be done at TBS as of yesterday and we'll send his booksback with the Ninneman's.If he left anything there, please send it home with Sheila N today. Thanks so much.. After he told me about the "Satan comments", he said that he didn'twant to let his team down by leaving, and I had to tell him the truth. That if he was a real part of the team, they wouldn't want to hurt himor make fun of him. That the adults in charge would make sure that allthe members of the team treated him with human respect. I think that adults always have the opportunity to open doors for the"typical" kids by showing them how to, perhaps, welcome the "outsider"and encourage them,,, and then see how

accepting the "outsider"can actually change the behavior of the one "in need". This may be really hard to believe, but Ian comes home every night andtells us about the "naughty" things he did. And he also wishes hewouldn't have done them. He also knows how he ticked the other kidsoff by doing the things that he did. So, we go over it all and talkabout what he SHOULD have done or what he could have done. I honestly believe that he does the things he does to try to fit and beaccepted. I wish the best for you and your school, . I also think thatmaybe this experience with a kid with a unique mix of special behaviorsand needs can be looked back on and used as a learning tool for TBS. Maybe it can even be used with some of the kids there that may need tosee that not all kids are the same. Some people can

have disabilitiesand not look like it.....because the disability is IN them and justcomes out in the form of awkward and annoying to some. I guess in a perfect world, anyone with a disability would look like it- that way people around them would just "know". I don't want to walk away from TBS with you or anyone there thinkingthat we were blind to the realities of Ian and his issues. I can'tstress enough that I am fully aware of his behaviors. I also can'tstress enough that he is more than a handful.But, he is also an amazing kid, made by God, who just wants to fitin.....but doesn't. He is kind and loving and good. He loves God more than I can evencomprehend, and when he "acts wrong" or "disrespectful" , it's usuallybecause he is frustrated, confused and socially immature, and it comesout that way - as disrespectful and

wrong. ************ *****He also said that you taped him today to show how he "is" in class. Ihope that this was for a positive, teaching tool. To see, and perhapsshow, what is going on and learn how to tackle and work with it? I know this is done in a variety of schools for training of spec edteachers and aides. This would be an amazing tool for TBS, especiallyif you are still looking ahead to becoming a place that can provide anappropriate place that is accepting of special needs kids. ************ *I don't take away what I said in the earlier email to you. I do thankyou for taking us "on" and teaching him for the last 2 months. God bless and take care. and Robin Lemke ************ ********* ********* ********* *********

********* ******* Sorry to hear of you choice, but it is understood. Unfortunatelythese kids do not have the character to work things out with otherstudents. As for the taping thing - I did tape our class todemonstrate that they could all get along and function as a good classtogether. This was not just for "Ian" it was for our whole class. I hope that I can give you any help in the future that you need andbelieve me it was a privilege to teach Ian.I do see the inside of him and that is why I had no problem having himin our school and in my classes. It seemed that he was making progressand I was looking forward to getting past the roughest part of theyear. I trust that the next step for Ian will be good for not only himbut your whole family.Thank you for letting me work with him I will be forever thankful forknowing Ian and your

family. ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __

[Guest guest]

Oh-it was YOU!!! he he.

They aren't readily available here. We've had to order them from other libraries, but plan to buy them for Christmas, too.

My hubby just started the first one, too.

I want some more GOOD ideas now....hehe. We're gonna run out, soon.

RobinFrom: video228 <video228 (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 1:22 I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and

would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter..my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got

from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if we burned every school official at the stake that was not helping our kids, we would live in a verrrrrrry smokey country.>> >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and

not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>

[Guest guest]

We've been blessed over the years with amazing, caring teachers who stood up for my son. But, when it came to the "school" doing something,,,,,,like alerting other parents or giving suspensions/in-house or not, and taking away recesses. Or, God-forbid, making them say they're sorry or sitting with my son and maybe learning that he's not so bad.....

nothing would happen.

The "school"..........aka "the Man"...hehe.........has always chosen to ignore it and attempt to minimize it.

Yes,,,there are wonderful teachers. We probably all agree.......I'm sure your dad is amazing and Jan is a blessing on here....but, for me, the "schools", disgustingly and for the most part, IGNORE BULLYING.

Robin

From: MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 2:57

"Burned at the stake?" ARE YOU SERIOUS? My goodness...

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: video228 <video228 (DOT) com> Sent: Wed, November 18, 2009 7:22:55 PMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl

that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if we burned every school official at the stake that was not helping our kids, we would live in a verrrrrrry smokey country.> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation

with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>

[Guest guest]

,

I just want to let you know that I pulled my son out for 6th and 7th grade for the reasons that you listed at the end of your post.

It was heartbreaking for us, as well.

At that time, I honestly didn't care about academics. Our worries were all emotional/psychological......ugh.

Anyway,,,,I want to let you know that if you do yank him, it gets better.

My son needed the time away to start to feel good about himself again. To gain confidence and to get rid of the stress.

Good luck to you and your decision.

Oh - and if you do pull him, remember the virtual school option in Feb.. It's still pub school curriculum, all the books, computers, etc for free..............but no pub school.

Robin

From: MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 2:57

"Burned at the stake?" ARE YOU SERIOUS? My goodness...

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: video228 <video228 (DOT) com> Sent: Wed, November 18, 2009 7:22:55 PMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl

that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if w> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it

acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger .

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[Guest guest]



the virtual school optoin in Feb? what is that about? my son is struggling something horrible with the social stressors and i am at the end of my rope with the school district.. could you tell me more?

Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if w> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger .

The new Internet Explorer® 8 - Faster, safer, easier. Optimized for Get it Now for Free!

[Guest guest]

I am already at the point that I would like to pull my son out of school. My dear husband is not there. I know that this is going to sound wierd but heck here goes. I look at my son as this precious little boy that is so refreshingly honest and geniune and he has this amazing mind that has a seemingly endless fascination with science and the way things work. He is also abrupt, rude and now since going to school full of hate for himself. I feel like everyday I leave him there he becomes more affected by his Asperger's and less gifted by his diversity.

From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> Sent: Fri, November 20, 2009 7:10:15 AMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school.........and teachers/principals' reply

,

I just want to let you know that I pulled my son out for 6th and 7th grade for the reasons that you listed at the end of your post.

It was heartbreaking for us, as well.

At that time, I honestly didn't care about academics. Our worries were all emotional/psycholog ical..... .ugh.

Anyway,,,,I want to let you know that if you do yank him, it gets better.

My son needed the time away to start to feel good about himself again. To gain confidence and to get rid of the stress.

Good luck to you and your decision.

Oh - and if you do pull him, remember the virtual school option in Feb.. It's still pub school curriculum, all the books, computers, etc for free........ ......but no pub school.

Robin

From: MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 2:57

"Burned at the stake?" ARE YOU SERIOUS? My goodness...

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: video228 <video228 (DOT) com> Sent: Wed, November 18, 2009 7:22:55 PMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl

that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if w> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it

acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger .

The new Internet Explorer® 8 - Faster, safer, easier. Optimized for Get it Now for Free!

Reclaim your name @ymail.com or @rocketmail.com. Get your new email address now!

[Guest guest]

obviosly i didnt mean to litteralt burn them at the stake.

my point was, if you took all the people in the school systems that dont do the

right thing for our children that are suppose to and burned them at the stake,

there would be a lot of fires going on.

i do realize there are tons of teachers out there that do the right thing every

day for our children.

unfortunately on the school administration level, a lot of those tachers are

being told to or forced to cut corners.

we ahve a lot of good teachers in our town that really care about our kids, but

if they do the right thing they are scolded by the school administration and if

they tell the parents, they could lose their job.

please dont take me literally !

i may be a republican conservative, but that doesnt make me violent.

> >

> > >

> > >

> > > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to

> > > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.

> > >

> > > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids

> > > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said " yellow " to him

> > > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell

> > > phone number and they were calling him and saying " yellow " and worse.

> > > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his

> > > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying " Hail

> > > Satan " when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough

> > > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it acceptable

> > > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they

> > > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't " deal " with it.

> > >

> > > Roxanna

> > >

> > >

> >

>

>

>

> Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger .

>

>

>

> The new Internet Explorer® 8 - Faster, safer, easier. Optimized for

Get it Now for Free!

>

[Guest guest]

I believe it's the entire US, but I know that in Wisconsin, there is "open enrollment" in Feb. It's for 2 weeks.

This is when you can literally apply for anywhere.

To find out when your states' "open enrollment" is, go to "your state" and then type in DPI (for Dept of Public Instruction) and then, look up "open enrollment dates".

We found the Wisconsin Virtual Academy on line by Googling.I called them, and within 2 days, I had a form sent to me.

We signed it and mailed it back. Our school was alerted by mail that our son's school district was changing from the one we live in....to Ozaukee County (where the virtual school was located).

It was amazingly simple.

About mid-August, we got all the books, teachers manuals, computer, printer, etc.

I don't know where you are at, but if you google your state and then just type in virtual school.......it should pull up lots.

I don't think there are many places that DON'T have them.....

I think some people call it "e-schooling" as well.

Good luck and if you want any help, let me know.

Robin

From: MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 2:57

"Burned at the stake?" ARE YOU SERIOUS? My goodness...

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: video228 <video228 (DOT) com> Sent: Wed, November 18, 2009 7:22:55 PMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl

that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if w> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it

acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger .

The new Internet Explorer® 8 - Faster, safer, easier. Optimized for Get it Now for Free!

[Guest guest]

What grade is your wonderful son in?

I'm just "speaking" from my own experiences,,,,,but listening to you writing,,,,I say, "It's time to say "bye bye" to school.

It isn't/wasn't a cop-out. It was emotionally necessary for my son.. For him to like himself again and it sounds like you already know what's best for him.

My son is back in pub school for 8th. He's loving it.

We started out this year in a parochial school and it was horrific.

So,,,,we've done pub school (K-5), Virtual School 6 and 7. Parochial 2 1/2 months 8th, and pub school now.

I look at it now,,,,,,and feel like this: I don't care who you are or what you claim to be able to provide. If my son is miserable there and isn't treated the way he should be......yet is fine at home...........then, he's gone. I'll yank him or any of my kids out of anything.

There are so many choices out there. You just gotta take the chance and do it.

When you realize that you may be afraid of the "unknown"........but that anything would be better for him or her than what they're in now.....it's time to go.

Before we yanked him out,,,,,I feared for him. I wondered if a year or so down the road, he'd be suicidal. It terrified me.

I hated sending him every morning.

Makes me cry thinking about it.

Do what your heart tells you. Heck......anyone can learn "academics" .........school, homeschool, tutor, whatever..........but when YOU know your kid and YOU know they are miserable and NOT themselves..........it's the most important thing in your life.....

Good luck....keep me posted.

Robin

From: MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 2:57

"Burned at the stake?" ARE YOU SERIOUS? My goodness...

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: video228 <video228 (DOT) com> Sent: Wed, November 18, 2009 7:22:55 PMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl

that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if w> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it

acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger .

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[Guest guest]

He he.....I loved all the posting and took it as the point it was meant to make. But......

Am I bad forI liking the idea of burning the bad ones at the stake? He he.

Robin

From: video228 <video228@...>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school.........and teachers/principals' reply Date: Friday, November 20, 2009, 3:34 PM

obviosly i didnt mean to litteralt burn them at the stake.my point was, if you took all the people in the school systems that dont do the right thing for our children that are suppose to and burned them at the stake, there would be a lot of fires going on.i do realize there are tons of teachers out there that do the right thing every day for our children.unfortunately on the school administration level, a lot of those tachers are being told to or forced to cut corners.we ahve a lot of good teachers in our town that really care about our kids, but if they do the right thing they are scolded by the school administration and if they tell the parents, they could lose their job.please dont take me literally !i may be a republican conservative, but that doesnt make me violent.> > > > >> > >> > > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> > >> > > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion

- is that not easy enough> > > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it acceptable> > > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> > >> > > Roxanna> > >> > >> >> > > > Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger . > > > > The new Internet Explorer® 8 - Faster, safer, easier. Optimized for Get it Now for Free!>

[Guest guest]



I was right where you are a few years ago, exactly the same feelings and situation. Now third year of homeschooling and the horrible effects of the school are wearing off over time and we are focusing on his strengths. They were just beating those strengths out of him day after day after day. To leave our son there would have been the worst thing ever for him. He is SO much better off now. We should have pulled him years ago.

Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if w> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger .

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[Guest guest]

...you may be so Right! My son as I look back...has become an angry, fustrated nasty teen...lack of motivation, hates school, imagination lessening...I could go on for hours...and school is probably (I say this because I don't know for a fact but I see what I see)...the main cause of this. Thanks for pointing this out to me...hindsight is great...just wish I had this knowledge when he entered kindergarten!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jan

"leaving my stress with God"

From: Debra Balke <dlbalke@...> Sent: Sat, November 21, 2009 9:43:53 AMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school.........and teachers/principals' reply

 I was right where you are a few years ago, exactly the same feelings and situation. Now third year of homeschooling and the horrible effects of the school are wearing off over time and we are focusing on his strengths. They were just beating those strengths out of him day after day after day. To leave our son there would have been the worst thing ever for him. He is SO much better off now. We should have pulled him years ago.

Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl

that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if w> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it

acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger .

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[Guest guest]

My son is in grade one and yes I would love to say good-bye to school, but my husband is not really on board. My husband is loving and wonderful but I think he isn't as Asperger's aware as me and he see my son being so wonderful at so many things so doesn't know what is the problem at school. I am getting him to promise to go to school to volunteer so he can see what DS's day is like. Myself I get physcially sick feeling when I have to drop him off. Every morning and every evening we do positive affirmations the first and last thing we say is that he is loved.

From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> Sent: Fri, November 20, 2009 7:15:54 PMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school.........and teachers/principals' reply

What grade is your wonderful son in?

I'm just "speaking" from my own experiences, ,,,,but listening to you writing,,,,I say, "It's time to say "bye bye" to school.

It isn't/wasn't a cop-out. It was emotionally necessary for my son.. For him to like himself again and it sounds like you already know what's best for him.

My son is back in pub school for 8th. He's loving it.

We started out this year in a parochial school and it was horrific.

So,,,,we've done pub school (K-5), Virtual School 6 and 7. Parochial 2 1/2 months 8th, and pub school now.

I look at it now,,,,,,and feel like this: I don't care who you are or what you claim to be able to provide. If my son is miserable there and isn't treated the way he should be......yet is fine at home........ ...then, he's gone. I'll yank him or any of my kids out of anything.

There are so many choices out there. You just gotta take the chance and do it.

When you realize that you may be afraid of the "unknown"... .....but that anything would be better for him or her than what they're in now.....it's time to go.

Before we yanked him out,,,,,I feared for him. I wondered if a year or so down the road, he'd be suicidal. It terrified me.

I hated sending him every morning.

Makes me cry thinking about it.

Do what your heart tells you. Heck......anyone can learn "academics" .........school, homeschool, tutor, whatever..... ......but when YOU know your kid and YOU know they are miserable and NOT themselves.. ........it' s the most important thing in your life.....

Good luck....keep me posted.

Robin

From: MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply Date: Thursday, 19 November, 2009, 2:57

"Burned at the stake?" ARE YOU SERIOUS? My goodness...

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: video228 <video228 (DOT) com> Sent: Wed, November 18, 2009 7:22:55 PMSubject: Re: ( ) letters to his school...... ...and teachers/principals ' reply

I hate to burst your bubble, but the schools may say they have a strict policy against bullying, but when it come down to it, they do everything in their power to dismiss it. all in the name of political correctness and to not have to confront the parent of the bully and hear that parent complain (as usual) that their child is innocent.EXAMPLE;my daughter was being bullied very badly by some other kids. she would cry all the time. she did not know how to express her frustration and would yell "i dont want to talk about it!".finally, one day, my wife was helping at the school during a "feild day". the kids there didnt know my wife was who she was. they started to pick on and bully my daughter.my wife approached the principle and the principle said "if we dont see it ,or have anyone that is a witness to it several times come forward we cant do anything about it" (and by the way, it was happening in plain sight).so a little girl

that knows my daughter and has seen it several times decided to step forward and sya aloud "i see these kids do it to her all the time!". the priciple just respnded to the child that she was just saying that because she was freinds with my daughter.my wife told the principle she didnt even know who this little girl was. the principle just walked away.we complained to the school board about it and received the same response from them as we got from the principal.once again, schools are very negligent to our kids. and if w> > >> >> > Actually, it's too bad the adults in charge don't have the character to> > stand up to bullying and help the kids learn how to get along.> >> > For my ds (13 yo), it's the color yellow and not religion. The kids> > found out he hated the color yellow and so they said "yellow" to him> > constantly. He would flip out over it. Recently, they got his cell> > phone number and they were calling him and saying "yellow" and worse.> > My dh finally handled it. They won't be having as much fun at his> > expense. But the idea that he should ignore someone saying "Hail> > Satan" when he has a fixation with religion - is that not easy enough> > for anyone to understand? Personally, I would not find it

acceptable> > with even my NT kids in that situation. It went on because they> > allowed it and not because Ian couldn't "deal" with it.> >> > Roxanna> >> >>Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger .

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