Guest guest Posted March 25, 2011 Report Share Posted March 25, 2011 Hi Theresa, So much of your son sounds like mine.....(almost 15). Anyway,,,,,I'm wondering about your daughter. Is she on meds for anything AS-related? Our son wants soooo badly to follow in our footsteps and join the military, but due to his OCD meds, it probably won't happen. Thanks, Robin From: Theresa Stoops <houndlover2@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Aspie Teens Date: Thursday, March 24, 2011, 6:43 PM thanks to all who have responded. I have 2 teens Aspie , a daughter 17 who goes next week to MEPS trying to get into the Air Force. and my son 16. Both are totally different in their Aspie ways. My son has been the worse for me to handle. Currently he is 16 but mature wise he is 10-13 on any given day. Has no friends because he annoys them like he does us at home. Always thinks he is right so no matter what even if he is dead wrong he does not see it, has always excelled in school until this year 10th grade. As high school has gotten harder , he will not study thinks if he hears the teacher talk about it then to study is pointless. Home work not getting done or gets done and not turned in. At times I feel like giving up. I am a strong advocate for him in school, but if he will not try then pretty hard to advocate for him , yet watching him throw away his grades is hard. It is always the teachers fault, doing math problems is pointless even when the teacher explained to us how math works. you can ground him but it does no good because in his mind he did nothing wrong, you just took his computer or what ever for no reason. Theresa StoopsCoordinator OfFlorida F.A.S.D. Interagency Action Group 850-408-3789 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2011 Report Share Posted March 25, 2011 My son (15 and in 9th grade) wants to join the military too...the marine. I don't discourage him but I really don't see it happening. He is stubborn...nasty to us...okay in school but doesn't participate. He does just a little bit of homework and sometimes doesn't hand it in. He never studies...I have to pull his teeth to do so. He shuts himself in his room and barely talks to us. He does talk to girs and some guys from school. But only a few guy friends come over. He does no activities in school. The biggest thing I can use is taking away the internet.... j "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> Sent: Fri, March 25, 2011 2:41:27 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Aspie Teens Hi Theresa, So much of your son sounds like mine.....(almost 15). Anyway,,,,,I'm wondering about your daughter. Is she on meds for anything AS-related? Our son wants soooo badly to follow in our footsteps and join the military, but due to his OCD meds, it probably won't happen. Thanks, Robin From: Theresa Stoops <houndlover2@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Aspie Teens Date: Thursday, March 24, 2011, 6:43 PM thanks to all who have responded. I have 2 teens Aspie , a daughter 17 who goes next week to MEPS trying to get into the Air Force. and my son 16. Both are totally different in their Aspie ways. My son has been the worse for me to handle. Currently he is 16 but mature wise he is 10-13 on any given day. Has no friends because he annoys them like he does us at home. Always thinks he is right so no matter what even if he is dead wrong he does not see it, has always excelled in school until this year 10th grade. As high school has gotten harder , he will not study thinks if he hears the teacher talk about it then to study is pointless. Home work not getting done or gets done and not turned in. At times I feel like giving up. I am a strong advocate for him in school, but if he will not try then pretty hard to advocate for him , yet watching him throw away his grades is hard. It is always the teachers fault, doing math problems is pointless even when the teacher explained to us how math works. you can ground him but it does no good because in his mind he did nothing wrong, you just took his computer or what ever for no reason. Theresa StoopsCoordinator OfFlorida F.A.S.D. Interagency Action Group 850-408-3789 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2011 Report Share Posted March 25, 2011 Our opinion when my sister wanted to join was that she was going to learn a lot, just not in the way she thought . Honestly she is in the guard now and is much calmer....CarolynSent from my iPadOn Mar 25, 2011, at 6:54 PM, rushen janice <jrushen@...> wrote: My son (15 and in 9th grade) wants to join the military too...the marine. I don't discourage him but I really don't see it happening. He is stubborn...nasty to us...okay in school but doesn't participate. He does just a little bit of homework and sometimes doesn't hand it in. He never studies...I have to pull his teeth to do so. He shuts himself in his room and barely talks to us. He does talk to girs and some guys from school. But only a few guy friends come over. He does no activities in school. The biggest thing I can use is taking away the internet.... j "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> Sent: Fri, March 25, 2011 2:41:27 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Aspie Teens Hi Theresa, So much of your son sounds like mine.....(almost 15). Anyway,,,,,I'm wondering about your daughter. Is she on meds for anything AS-related? Our son wants soooo badly to follow in our footsteps and join the military, but due to his OCD meds, it probably won't happen. Thanks, Robin From: Theresa Stoops <houndlover2@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Aspie Teens Date: Thursday, March 24, 2011, 6:43 PM thanks to all who have responded. I have 2 teens Aspie , a daughter 17 who goes next week to MEPS trying to get into the Air Force. and my son 16. Both are totally different in their Aspie ways. My son has been the worse for me to handle. Currently he is 16 but mature wise he is 10-13 on any given day. Has no friends because he annoys them like he does us at home. Always thinks he is right so no matter what even if he is dead wrong he does not see it, has always excelled in school until this year 10th grade. As high school has gotten harder , he will not study thinks if he hears the teacher talk about it then to study is pointless. Home work not getting done or gets done and not turned in. At times I feel like giving up. I am a strong advocate for him in school, but if he will not try then pretty hard to advocate for him , yet watching him throw away his grades is hard. It is always the teachers fault, doing math problems is pointless even when the teacher explained to us how math works. you can ground him but it does no good because in his mind he did nothing wrong, you just took his computer or what ever for no reason. Theresa StoopsCoordinator OfFlorida F.A.S.D. Interagency Action Group 850-408-3789 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2011 Report Share Posted March 25, 2011 He shuts himself in his room and barely talks to us. >> This is the way my daughter is. Last year she attended the National Guard Youth Challenge program was away for 6 months. She did it to see if she could stand people yelling at her, etc. since she is either pacing on the porch or in her room. What we have found is that she excels in a very structured life style, when she graduated last year from the above program she was 4th in her class. she did better there then home. This is why we think her joining the Air Force will be great for her. since she has been home and working full time she has not done that good ( we had to wait for her to turn 17 to join) My son 16 thrives as well in a very structured life style but due to his need for meds he will not be able to join the service even thou I think it would be good for him. Theresa StoopsCoordinator OfFlorida F.A.S.D. Interagency Action Group 850-408-3789 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2011 Report Share Posted March 25, 2011 Carolyn, That's awesome to hear!!! My husband is in the Guard now and we were both in the Marines. We're very torn with the idea of him wanting to go in. Of course, it would be an amazing honor and we'd be so proud. And we think of the consistancy. Wearing the same uniform daily. Up at the same time daily. The same work all day. Rigid rules. Rigid living space. Consistant pay. Benefits. Health Care. Sigh. But....then we think of when things change. Deployment......re-assigning of duty stations. Will this go well? What happens when and if he starts to need meds? Will he choose to NOT go and seek help knowing that he'll get discharged if certain meds or dx's are needed? It's scary. But,,,,,proves that we gotta really make our kids their best advocate. Ya know? Make them see that nothing is more important than their mental and physical health. Sigh, again. he he. Robin From: Theresa Stoops <houndlover2@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Aspie Teens Date: Thursday, March 24, 2011, 6:43 PM thanks to all who have responded. I have 2 teens Aspie , a daughter 17 who goes next week to MEPS trying to get into the Air Force. and my son 16. Both are totally different in their Aspie ways. My son has been the worse for me to handle. Currently he is 16 but mature wise he is 10-13 on any given day. Has no friends because he annoys them like he does us at home. Always thinks he is right so no matter what even if he is dead wrong he does not see it, has always excelled in school until this year 10th grade. As high school has gotten harder , he will not study thinks if he hears the teacher talk about it then to study is pointless. Home work not getting done or gets done and not turned in. At times I feel like giving up. I am a strong advocate for him in school, but if he will not try then pretty hard to advocate for him , yet watching him throw away his grades is hard. It is always the teachers fault, doing math problems is pointless even when the teacher explained to us how math works. you can ground him but it does no good because in his mind he did nothing wrong, you just took his computer or what ever for no reason. Theresa StoopsCoordinator OfFlorida F.A.S.D. Interagency Action Group 850-408-3789 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2011 Report Share Posted March 26, 2011 Ok...tell me...the Armed Forces won't take you if you take certain meds????? or if you have a DX????? I am never going to discourage my son...but I am not sure if he could take it....he hates following our rules, hates to be told what to do. I can't imagine him handling a sargeant yelling in his face or getting up at 4 a.m. I would love for him to join...there would be such opportunity to learn. And, just learning to live by a routine and be respectful would be wonderful. Right now though he is into "girls" and I am frightened out of my mind!!!!! J "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> Sent: Fri, March 25, 2011 9:37:38 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Aspie Teens Carolyn, That's awesome to hear!!! My husband is in the Guard now and we were both in the Marines. We're very torn with the idea of him wanting to go in. Of course, it would be an amazing honor and we'd be so proud. And we think of the consistancy. Wearing the same uniform daily. Up at the same time daily. The same work all day. Rigid rules. Rigid living space. Consistant pay. Benefits. Health Care. Sigh. But....then we think of when things change. Deployment......re-assigning of duty stations. Will this go well? What happens when and if he starts to need meds? Will he choose to NOT go and seek help knowing that he'll get discharged if certain meds or dx's are needed? It's scary. But,,,,,proves that we gotta really make our kids their best advocate. Ya know? Make them see that nothing is more important than their mental and physical health. Sigh, again. he he. Robin From: Theresa Stoops <houndlover2@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Aspie Teens Date: Thursday, March 24, 2011, 6:43 PM thanks to all who have responded. I have 2 teens Aspie , a daughter 17 who goes next week to MEPS trying to get into the Air Force. and my son 16. Both are totally different in their Aspie ways. My son has been the worse for me to handle. Currently he is 16 but mature wise he is 10-13 on any given day. Has no friends because he annoys them like he does us at home. Always thinks he is right so no matter what even if he is dead wrong he does not see it, has always excelled in school until this year 10th grade. As high school has gotten harder , he will not study thinks if he hears the teacher talk about it then to study is pointless. Home work not getting done or gets done and not turned in. At times I feel like giving up. I am a strong advocate for him in school, but if he will not try then pretty hard to advocate for him , yet watching him throw away his grades is hard. It is always the teachers fault, doing math problems is pointless even when the teacher explained to us how math works. you can ground him but it does no good because in his mind he did nothing wrong, you just took his computer or what ever for no reason. Theresa StoopsCoordinator OfFlorida F.A.S.D. Interagency Action Group 850-408-3789 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2011 Report Share Posted March 26, 2011 That is correct, the Armed Forces will not take you if you take certain prescription drugs--almost all ADD drugs. In our son's case, a med for ADD. He found out he could also be denied a job where he had been hired one day, let go the next because he was taking it, even with a prescription, at least in our state. He loved ROTC in school, would do very well in the structured environment, but without the help of those meds would be very difficult for him. sue in TN > >> > >> > >>>From: Theresa Stoops <houndlover2@...> > >>>Subject: Re: ( ) Aspie Teens > >>> > >>>Date: Thursday, March 24, 2011, 6:43 PM > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>>thanks to all who have responded. > >>>I have 2 teens Aspie , a daughter 17 who goes next week to MEPS trying to get > >>>into the Air Force. > >>>and my son 16. > >>>Both are totally different in their Aspie ways. > >>>My son has been the worse for me to handle. > >>>Currently he is 16 but mature wise he is 10-13 on any given day. > >>>Has no friends because he annoys them like he does us at home. > >>>Always thinks he is right so no matter what even if he is dead wrong he does not > >>>see it, has always excelled in school > >>>until this year 10th grade. > >>>As high school has gotten harder , he will not study thinks if he hears the > >>>teacher talk about it then to study is pointless. > >>>Home work not getting done or gets done and not turned in. > >>>At times I feel like giving up. > >>>I am a strong advocate for him in school, but if he will not try then pretty > >>>hard to advocate for him , yet watching him throw away > >>>his grades is hard. > >>>It is always the teachers fault, doing math problems is pointless even when the > >>>teacher explained to us how math works. > >>>you can ground him but it does no good because in his mind he did nothing wrong, > >>>you just took his computer or what ever for no reason. > >>> > >>>Theresa Stoops > >>>Coordinator Of > >>>Florida F.A.S.D. Interagency Action Group > >>>850-408-3789 > >>> > >> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2011 Report Share Posted March 26, 2011 Your child was let go from a job because he was on meds?? I think I would call that a violation of ADA and hire a lawyer, or at least threaten to :)CarolynSent from my iPadOn Mar 26, 2011, at 7:57 AM, "Mimi" <sue@...> wrote: That is correct, the Armed Forces will not take you if you take certain prescription drugs--almost all ADD drugs. In our son's case, a med for ADD. He found out he could also be denied a job where he had been hired one day, let go the next because he was taking it, even with a prescription, at least in our state. He loved ROTC in school, would do very well in the structured environment, but without the help of those meds would be very difficult for him. sue in TN > >> > >> > >>>From: Theresa Stoops <houndlover2@...> > >>>Subject: Re: ( ) Aspie Teens > >>> > >>>Date: Thursday, March 24, 2011, 6:43 PM > >>> > >>> > >>>Â > >>>thanks to all who have responded. > >>>I have 2 teens Aspie , a daughter 17 who goes next week to MEPS trying to get > >>>into the Air Force. > >>>and my son 16. > >>>Both are totally different in their Aspie ways. > >>>My son has been the worse for me to handle. > >>>Currently he is 16 but mature wise he is 10-13 on any given day. > >>>Has no friends because he annoys them like he does us at home. > >>>Always thinks he is right so no matter what even if he is dead wrong he does not > >>>see it, has always excelled in school > >>>until this year 10th grade. > >>>As high school has gotten harder , he will not study thinks if he hears the > >>>teacher talk about it then to study is pointless. > >>>Home work not getting done or gets done and not turned in. > >>>At times I feel like giving up. > >>>I am a strong advocate for him in school, but if he will not try then pretty > >>>hard to advocate for him , yet watching him throw away > >>>his grades is hard. > >>>It is always the teachers fault, doing math problems is pointless even when the > >>>teacher explained to us how math works. > >>>you can ground him but it does no good because in his mind he did nothing wrong, > >>>you just took his computer or what ever for no reason. > >>> > >>>Theresa Stoops > >>>Coordinator Of > >>>Florida F.A.S.D. Interagency Action Group > >>>850-408-3789 > >>> > >> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2011 Report Share Posted March 26, 2011 I sent a plea out to multiple HR managers in the area about what to do, and most advised it was perfectly legal here. The company doesn't officially " hire " you until you pass the drug screen. He couldn't pass on the spot because the ADD med triggers it to be sent out, so according to the company, he wasn't ever really " hired " so he wouldn't have been really " fired. " Nice huh? Would have been a great, full time job with benefits. They dangled this nice carrot out in front of him, too, that when they ramped up to " full production " they would call him back for sure in two months (to prevent a lawsuit?). Of course, they never did. I can tell you at the small restaurant where he works in over a year, he has never been late, he has never missed a day for anything. Bet none of their " new hires " are like that. He was so upfront at the drug screen, too. Had a copy of prescription, dr. name and phone that he offered even before the drug test. My experience with lawyers on stuff like this is also not very positive. Sue > > > >> > > > >> > > > >>>From: Theresa Stoops <houndlover2@> > > > >>>Subject: Re: ( ) Aspie Teens > > > >>> > > > >>>Date: Thursday, March 24, 2011, 6:43 PM > > > >>> > > > >>> > > > >>>Â > > > >>>thanks to all who have responded. > > > >>>I have 2 teens Aspie , a daughter 17 who goes next week to MEPS trying to get > > > >>>into the Air Force. > > > >>>and my son 16. > > > >>>Both are totally different in their Aspie ways. > > > >>>My son has been the worse for me to handle. > > > >>>Currently he is 16 but mature wise he is 10-13 on any given day. > > > >>>Has no friends because he annoys them like he does us at home. > > > >>>Always thinks he is right so no matter what even if he is dead wrong he does not > > > >>>see it, has always excelled in school > > > >>>until this year 10th grade. > > > >>>As high school has gotten harder , he will not study thinks if he hears the > > > >>>teacher talk about it then to study is pointless. > > > >>>Home work not getting done or gets done and not turned in. > > > >>>At times I feel like giving up. > > > >>>I am a strong advocate for him in school, but if he will not try then pretty > > > >>>hard to advocate for him , yet watching him throw away > > > >>>his grades is hard. > > > >>>It is always the teachers fault, doing math problems is pointless even when the > > > >>>teacher explained to us how math works. > > > >>>you can ground him but it does no good because in his mind he did nothing wrong, > > > >>>you just took his computer or what ever for no reason. > > > >>> > > > >>>Theresa Stoops > > > >>>Coordinator Of > > > >>>Florida F.A.S.D. Interagency Action Group > > > >>>850-408-3789 > > > >>> > > > >> > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2011 Report Share Posted March 27, 2011 I agree, the job the military does is incredibly hard, physically and mentally. But wouldn't it be great if there was something structured like ROTC, where people like my son could work, with a team and a leader. He would really do well. sue in TN > > >> > > >> > > >>>From: Theresa Stoops <houndlover2@> > > >>>Subject: Re: ( ) Aspie Teens > > >>> > > >>>Date: Thursday, March 24, 2011, 6:43 PM > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> > > >>>thanks to all who have responded. > > >>>I have 2 teens Aspie , a daughter 17 who goes next week to MEPS trying to get > > >>>into the Air Force. > > >>>and my son 16. > > >>>Both are totally different in their Aspie ways. > > >>>My son has been the worse for me to handle. > > >>>Currently he is 16 but mature wise he is 10-13 on any given day. > > >>>Has no friends because he annoys them like he does us at home. > > >>>Always thinks he is right so no matter what even if he is dead wrong he does not > > >>>see it, has always excelled in school > > >>>until this year 10th grade. > > >>>As high school has gotten harder , he will not study thinks if he hears the > > >>>teacher talk about it then to study is pointless. > > >>>Home work not getting done or gets done and not turned in. > > >>>At times I feel like giving up. > > >>>I am a strong advocate for him in school, but if he will not try then pretty > > >>>hard to advocate for him , yet watching him throw away > > >>>his grades is hard. > > >>>It is always the teachers fault, doing math problems is pointless even when the > > >>>teacher explained to us how math works. > > >>>you can ground him but it does no good because in his mind he did nothing wrong, > > >>>you just took his computer or what ever for no reason. > > >>> > > >>>Theresa Stoops > > >>>Coordinator Of > > >>>Florida F.A.S.D. Interagency Action Group > > >>>850-408-3789 > > >>> > > >> > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2011 Report Share Posted March 29, 2011 That is true, non of the military branches will accept recruits any longer if they are on any ADD/ADHD medications. ne > From: Theresa S. <houndlover2@...> > Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Aspie Teens > > Date: Saturday, March 26, 2011, 9:10 AM > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >  > > > > > > > > > > Ok...tell me...the Armed > Forces won't take you if you take certain meds????? or > > if you have a DX?????>>>> >  >  > There are waiver's that you can get for some > disabilities in the service. > I am unsure which one's they are. And then > there are some disabilities that if you are > later dx with once in the service > it seems OK. >  > For my daughter we are lucky that she can function > without meds for the most > part. > Takes a little work on her part, I wished I could > say the same for my son who nobody could be around without > meds. all 4 of my kids where > made to be in JROTC in high school, we have not given them a > choice about it since it brings structure and most of all > friends. ROTC trains their students to support one another, > etc . so this has worked well for my youngest son who has > not been able to make and keep friends > > > > Theresa Stoops > Coordinator Of > Florida FASD Interagency > Action Group > 850-408-3789 > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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