Re: Losing interest in school

[Guest guest]

Yes.... we are working on vocational certificates through the local junior college. That way, my son is taking ONLY classes he likes. Then, when he finishes all three computer vocational certificates, he will hopefully be older, more mature, and can easily finish the few other classes he will need to get an A.A. degree. Worst case, he comes out with some vocational certificates and can start work. Best case, he gets A.A. degree, likes school again, and would be old enough to transfer to 4 year school.

( ) Losing interest in school

Hi,My daughter is in high school and decided she just could not do it anymore. She had been an A student, but reached a point of overload and said she can only study things that are meaningful to her. Has anyone else had this kind of experience?Thanks!Elena

[Guest guest]

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's always been that way. For all of us, I suspect. he he..

Heck,,,,I feel that way, too. Just have a bit more "umpf" to make myself do what I gotta do.I've just kept, like you all probably have, too, telling him that "that's life" and we all have to learn it all. I keep reminding him of the "prize" in the end, which is graduation......and then doing what you want in life.

Robin

From: elenadorn24 <elenadorn24@...>Subject: ( ) Losing interest in school Date: Friday, December 11, 2009, 10:08 AM

Hi,My daughter is in high school and decided she just could not do it anymore. She had been an A student, but reached a point of overload and said she can only study things that are meaningful to her. Has anyone else had this kind of experience?Thanks!Elena

[Guest guest]

What are her interests. What would she find meaningful?

You said she was overloaded? My daughter was so overloaded

for years at school that she had a breakdown and we

found her a smaller school setting rather than force her

into a highly stressful setting. She too always got good

grades even when she had been out a lot do to anxiety.

Many AS kids are avoidant types so I don't like the idea

of homeschooling them unless they are with other kids

too. There has to be safe places for our kids for school and

work other than retreating to home. I put my energy into

looking for safe settings.

Pam

>

> Hi,

> My daughter is in high school and decided she just could not do it anymore.

She had been an A student, but reached a point of overload and said she can only

study things that are meaningful to her. Has anyone else had this kind of

experience?

>

> Thanks!

> Elena

>

[Guest guest]

We are struggling with this very issue with my 13 year old

daughter, and it has progressed over the last two years to a high degree.

She does well academically, but dislikes almost anything to do with school.

We've tried various different types of school and this year have been using an

online school program which has its own advantages and disadvantages. The

good news, I guess, is that there are a lot of school alternatives in

terms of how school is formatted.

I'm not sure what the answer is, except to try to find ways

to make school as tolerable as possible, to incorporate the stuff she likes

with the stuff she doesn't. We talk often about how we all have to do

some stuff we don't like, and there can be surprises -- you can discover you

actually like something that you thought you wouldn't. My daughter loves

animals and we try to talk about goals and how whatever she is struggling with

might help her in the future if she wants to work with animals.

But really, mostly we just remember that a lot of non-Aspie

kids hate school and think it's pointless, too.

If you come up with any good coping mechanisms, I'd be happy

to hear them!!

Diane

[Guest guest]

Yes, my son also reached a point in high school where he just could not go to

school anymore. He could not get out of bed in time, could not even enter the

school building. He was fine on the weekends, tho. In my son's case, he said

that he was bored by the repetition in his classes. But I knew from that he was

also having problems understanding what the assignments were and was just plain

scared most of the time during lunch and breaks.

Long story, but I tried to cooperate with the school district while firmly

keeping him at home on the advice of his psychologist, who said that forcing him

to go to school would cause him deep psychological damage. The school sent

tutors to our home at my request and he refused to coooperate. The school wanted

him to attend speech therapy once a week, but he refused to go and when he did,

he refused to say a word. The therapist said she had lots of experience working

with AS kids, but she kept trying to hug him and he just locked up even more. It

was awful. But because he was suddenly failing everything led to the school

district eventually agreeing that they were not providing FAPE. They finally

give him an evaluation and then paid his tuition at a private school for AS

kids.

Before I found the private school, I tried homeschooling, but he was so damaged

that he refused to cooperate. I looked at online schools, but the same result.

We had already looked at the charter schools in the district earlier, but they

had no openings. So the district really had nothing to offer other than an ED

class that was totally inappropriate for him.

I had the help of an advocate and a lawyer while all this was going on. His new

school changed his life completely. He came home smiling on his first day and I

had no problems getting him to school after that. He had friends and a social

life. He was able to take some courses at night at a community college while

still in high school.

If your daughter is suffering in school, she probably has been suffering for a

long, long time. I'd respect her wish to not go to public high school anymore,

but see if you can find some kind of alternative. Ask for tutors and look into

homeschooling and charter schools. Maybe she could start taking classes at the

local community college. There are a lot of options out there.

[Guest guest]

You said it perfectly, .There ARE many choices out there. And what works for some, don't work for others.

Timing matters, too. We pulled our son out of pub school after 5th........and put him back in for 8th and he's happy and fitting in. I don't even like to talk about how good it's going. Sigh.

To the original poster....

Hang in there and trust your feelings, as well as your daughters. Academics can be learned anywhere.........but emotional "wellness" sometimes has to take precidence.Good luck and keep us posted.

Robin

From: <tamaoki_s@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Losing interest in school Date: Monday, December 14, 2009, 11:49 AM

Yes, my son also reached a point in high school where he just could not go to school anymore. He could not get out of bed in time, could not even enter the school building. He was fine on the weekends, tho. In my son's case, he said that he was bored by the repetition in his classes. But I knew from that he was also having problems understanding what the assignments were and was just plain scared most of the time during lunch and breaks. Long story, but I tried to cooperate with the school district while firmly keeping him at home on the advice of his psychologist, who said that forcing him to go to school would cause him deep psychological damage. The school sent tutors to our home at my request and he refused to coooperate. The school wanted him to attend speech therapy once a week, but he refused to go and when he did, he refused to say a word. The therapist said she had lots of experience working with AS kids, but she kept trying to hug

him and he just locked up even more. It was awful. But because he was suddenly failing everything led to the school district eventually agreeing that they were not providing FAPE. They finally give him an evaluation and then paid his tuition at a private school for AS kids. Before I found the private school, I tried homeschooling, but he was so damaged that he refused to cooperate. I looked at online schools, but the same result. We had already looked at the charter schools in the district earlier, but they had no openings. So the district really had nothing to offer other than an ED class that was totally inappropriate for him. I had the help of an advocate and a lawyer while all this was going on. His new school changed his life completely. He came home smiling on his first day and I had no problems getting him to school after that. He had friends and a social life. He was able to take some courses at night at a community college while

still in high school. If your daughter is suffering in school, she probably has been suffering for a long, long time. I'd respect her wish to not go to public high school anymore, but see if you can find some kind of alternative. Ask for tutors and look into homeschooling and charter schools. Maybe she could start taking classes at the local community college. There are a lot of options out there.

[Guest guest]

My girlfriend of 5 years daughter probably has aspergers, two counselors, a

different high school, now junior college, and, things are about the same. She

rarely speaks, makes no eye contact, and can spend 10 hours in the bookstore,

drawing or playing a video game. she has had two jobs, in both her hours were

cut slowly until she had no more hours. When asked what happened, she has no

answer, just that they don't need her anymore. She has not made a new friend in

4 years, and, luckily, has one very loyal great friend who is always encouraging

her.

Ok, enough of that, for me, I always knew something was going on, and, it caused

and is causing tension with her mother and I. I feel she needs, at least in

small doses, some interaction with people, or, this will never change. That

sounds simple, but, it is not when the person just clams up and has anxiety in

any social situation. There were days she just did not want to go to school,

but, we did encourage her and, though she would rather stay home, she would go.

From what I saw, though it was hard, she did better when she went to school,

though, when she returned home she really needed to be by herself for a while.

When she had a week off or in the summer, those were the hardest days because

she had nothing to do and no idea how to come up with something to do. At least

when she had school she would get out of the house, so, I am a fan of her going

to school. Obviously each situation is different, so, who knows?

Just my uneducated thoughts.

>

> Hi,

> My daughter is in high school and decided she just could not do it anymore.

She had been an A student, but reached a point of overload and said she can only

study things that are meaningful to her. Has anyone else had this kind of

experience?

>

> Thanks!

> Elena

>

[Guest guest]

Losing interest in school or is it avoidant social behaviors?

I wonder? My daughter has very serious avoidant behaviors.

She always preferred to stay home. I have to get out everyday in

contrast so I know I didn't encourage this behavior. It is a trait.

My daughter ended up at a private school due to severe

school refusal. Even though the school could not be nicer, kinder of more

helpful she still has some school avoidance.

It is so much work to push and prode her to stay engage in the world.

Many kids with AS attend school, some need accomodations and

smaller settings but I think there are some that

have these avoidant traits and it is a struggle when

every step there is resistance to keep them out in the world.

One of my strategies from young was to buy her a snack

or treat or small trinket everytime my daughter goes out or tries going

someplace new but I have created a shopaholic in the process and a hoarder to

boot. Is there no end to the issues I wonder

sometimes. Now I am trying to also teach her about budgets

and keeping less stuff. But avoidance is such a tough issue

to tackle. I wish there was more support for these issue.

Pam

entihcergersSupport , " Rob " <huddy_68@...> wrote:

>

> My girlfriend of 5 years daughter probably has aspergers, two counselors, a

different high school, now junior college, and, things are about the same. She

rarely speaks, makes no eye contact, and can spend 10 hours in the bookstore,

drawing or playing a video game. she has had two jobs, in both her hours were

cut slowly until she had no more hours. When asked what happened, she has no

answer, just that they don't need her anymore. She has not made a new friend in

4 years, and, luckily, has one very loyal great friend who is always encouraging

her.

>

> Ok, enough of that, for me, I always knew something was going on, and, it

caused and is causing tension with her mother and I. I feel she needs, at least

in small doses, some interaction with people, or, this will never change. That

sounds simple, but, it is not when the person just clams up and has anxiety in

any social situation. There were days she just did not want to go to school,

but, we did encourage her and, though she would rather stay home, she would go.

>

> From what I saw, though it was hard, she did better when she went to school,

though, when she returned home she really needed to be by herself for a while.

When she had a week off or in the summer, those were the hardest days because

she had nothing to do and no idea how to come up with something to do. At least

when she had school she would get out of the house, so, I am a fan of her going

to school. Obviously each situation is different, so, who knows?

>

> Just my uneducated thoughts.

>

>

> >

> > Hi,

> > My daughter is in high school and decided she just could not do it anymore.

She had been an A student, but reached a point of overload and said she can only

study things that are meaningful to her. Has anyone else had this kind of

experience?

> >

> > Thanks!

> > Elena

> >

>