RE: Do things get better in Junior High???

[Guest guest]

No, things do NOT get better in middle school, and although the teacher di a wonderful thing, those kids that were penalized are going to come back with a vengeance against your daughter. Middle school is a socialization growth stage. Asperger children do not know how to handle the social stresses of what is 'cool' what is in fashion, who's dating who, HOW to date, what is appropriate in dating, etc. Asperger girls especially get taken advantage of from boys because if a boy shows her a little attention, he will see that he can get away with anything.

Having her involved with interestes like the Library and the cafeteria to avoid bullying is great. I do have one question. Does she have an IEP? Under IDEA, she is entitled to a free appropriate public education. If one is not accomplished through the public schools, grants are available through the Department of Education to get her into a private school where there are only 6-8 kids in her class and bullying is less likely because the teachers definitely catch it immediately and the teachers are in the hallways.

I am the President of The Asperger Child. Girls with AS have it tough, and high school is going to be even tougher. But middle school is the socialization growth period and unless she can learn the social cues and hidden curriculum of the unspoken language that these other children have, she may have downfalls. I wish you the best and always stand by her. She needs you. Keep an open line of communication so she knows that YOU are her safe person.

From: Cheryl G <chguthrie03@...> Sent: Wed, May 5, 2010 2:34:01 PMSubject: ( ) Do things get better in Junior High???

My heart is absolutely broken. Children are so mean!! My Aspie daughter in 6th grade got her yearbook and someone signed it "I'm sorry everyone picks on you but I'm happy to say that I don't". I called my child's teacher to make sure there wasn't anything going on that I needed to know about and she said that she had heard a few students tell my child they were not signing yearbooks that day. So the teacher went around the room and checked and found 3 yearbooks that the ones saying that had signed. They each lost 15 points (5 points for each book they did sign) and the teacher gently reminded everyone that signing the yearbooks only meant you were in class with them and they would think of their classmates over the summer. I really appreciated her response and I know I can not shelter my child forever, but it breaks my heart!! She currently spends her recess either working in the Library (which she loves) or working in the cafeteria cleaning up (which

is not great but better than a lonely recess). I have been wanting her to go to a new school for YEARS!! but everytime I bring it up she cries and doesn't want to change schools because she will not know anyone at a new school, and although she doesn't have friends there are a few kids that will talk to her here. Any experience you can relate to me will be appreciated. Thank you, Cheryl

[Guest guest]

You can make sure that daily your child practices saying good

and proud things about herself. This is really important so your

child doesn't get into the habit of internalizing negative

peer feedback. And of course too the family give lots

of praise and don't let her be alone too much. Have Mom

or Dad do typical kid things with her, mall, movies etc.

My daughter does go to a private school for learning issues

and there are just 4-8 kids in the class but don't you know

it there seems to be some boy always picking on my daughter

telling her to shut up and that she talks to much. Before

it was a boy swearing at her and he was transferred out.

Now there is a boy saying shut up and calling some kids babies in front of the

teacher. They send her to the principal and

he loses priveleges but he goes back to the behavior. He is

definately a kid with impulsive issues. My point is

even though the teachers are fabulous here at this school

and that is a big improvement is there anyway to have the

kids be all nice? When my daughter is just with autistic child

it is better but that really limits socializing. The kids

with ADHD are more impulsive but also more verbal and

a better match sometimes. They have to learn to cope to

and they need support from the teachers.

Pam

>

> My heart is absolutely broken. Children are so mean!! My Aspie daughter in

6th grade got her yearbook and someone signed it " I'm sorry everyone picks on

you but I'm happy to say that I don't " . I called my child's teacher to make

sure there wasn't anything going on that I needed to know about and she said

that she had heard a few students tell my child they were not signing yearbooks

that day. So the teacher went around the room and checked and found 3 yearbooks

that the ones saying that had signed. They each lost 15 points (5 points for

each book they did sign) and the teacher gently reminded everyone that signing

the yearbooks only meant you were in class with them and they would think of

their classmates over the summer. I really appreciated her response and I know

I can not shelter my child forever, but it breaks my heart!! She currently

spends her recess either working in the Library (which she loves) or working in

the cafeteria cleaning up (which is not great but better than a lonely recess).

I have been wanting her to go to a new school for YEARS!! but everytime I bring

it up she cries and doesn't want to change schools because she will not know

anyone at a new school, and although she doesn't have friends there are a few

kids that will talk to her here. Any experience you can relate to me will be

appreciated. Thank you, Cheryl

>

[Guest guest]

Cheryl. I understand how nothing can break your heart more than seeing your child hurt in such a way. I am currently dealing with a blow to my non-AS daugher, who is also in 6th grade. There is a girl who was her good friend for 2 years. I was pleased because she seemed such a nice, polite girl from a nice family. Just a few weeks ago, this girl () asked my to be her roommate on a class trip and agreed. That weekend, went out and used her own money (about $7) to buy a necklace for her birthday. Then, suddenly, tells she can't be her roommate on the trip, that she "forgot" she had already agreed to room with someone else—a girl who for one reason or another does not like . Then, just two day's before 's birthday, she turned on completely. Just cam up to her and said they weren't friends any more. When asked why, she said it was because some other friends didn't like Em ( personally, I think they were jealous of the friendship). When told her she didn't have to listen to them, said "I know, but I want to be popular." that night, wrote on 's wall on facebook, telling her she'd hurt her feelings. wrote back in all caps that she didn't care, and told to just go away. I have never in my life had such anger toward a 12 year old girl. From: chguthrie03@...Date: Wed, 5 May 2010 18:34:01 +0000Subject: ( ) Do things get better in Junior High???

My heart is absolutely broken. Children are so mean!! My Aspie daughter in 6th grade got her yearbook and someone signed it "I'm sorry everyone picks on you but I'm happy to say that I don't". I called my child's teacher to make sure there wasn't anything going on that I needed to know about and she said that she had heard a few students tell my child they were not signing yearbooks that day. So the teacher went around the room and checked and found 3 yearbooks that the ones saying that had signed. They each lost 15 points (5 points for each book they did sign) and the teacher gently reminded everyone that signing the yearbooks only meant you were in class with them and they would think of their classmates over the summer. I really appreciated her response and I know I can not shelter my child forever, but it breaks my heart!! She currently spends her recess either working in the Library (which she loves) or working in the cafeteria cleaning up (which is not great but better than a lonely recess). I have been wanting her to go to a new school for YEARS!! but everytime I bring it up she cries and doesn't want to change schools because she will not know anyone at a new school, and although she doesn't have friends there are a few kids that will talk to her here. Any experience you can relate to me will be appreciated. Thank you, Cheryl

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[Guest guest]

So sorry that things like this happen. I have two

daughters and both experienced very similar scenarios. It was painful for

all of us so I know it is painful for you and your daughter. there are no

words of comfort, just time.

Warmest regards, melody

[Guest guest]

Awesome info, my dd is only in 4th so has to make it through the last

month plus next year before we do middle school but I will certainly

save this as it sounds so helpful, especially pe where she can feel

left out and also doesn't hurry or like regular shoes

On 5/5/10, Melody Kalomiris <mkalomiris@...> wrote:

> I am pleased that the teacher was aware enough to pick up what was going on

> and then issue consequences.

>

>

>

> My daughter is in 7th grade this year. I remember being very worried last

> year at this time but looking forward to a bigger pool of potential friends

> since she had none. My daughter was also looking forward to feeling more

> grown up. this is what I did to smooth the transition.

>

>

>

> I phoned the middle school and made an appointment with her future

> counselor. I went in to meet with him in may/early june to introduce myself

> tell him about my daughter (aspie and ocd) and asked if her and I could come

> back before school starts in the fall to get her schedule, walk thru her

> schedule and meet all her teachers. he said that would be fine. Over the

> summer, I prepared a one page summary outlining my daughters challenges and

> what the teachers could do to help. I kept this info to a minimum so it

> wouldn't be too much for them to read and I attached her IEP. I made 7

> sets, one for each of her teachers. Then in august, 1 day before school

> started, my daughter and I went to meet the counselor. He reviewed her

> school schedule and made changes to the teachers he felt would better work

> with my daughter and then he thoughtfully ran thru the paths she would walk

> between classes. We were concerned she would be overwhelmed with the

> transitioning and crowds but he gave her some tips and short cuts she could

> take, so equipped with this info, her and i walked the walk she would take

> the next day, starting with her home room and 1st period and so on. As we

> went into each room, we were able to meet the teacher and I gave them each

> the outline with the iep attached. I also told them what was on the summary

> and punctuated the items of particular concern. The teachers were very

> receptive and I got all the email addresses that day so we could stay in

> touch. One teacher even thanked me for the heads up, stating that they

> don't usually get the iep until 2 weeks into school. I was especially

> concerned with PE because my daughter cannot stand regular shoes on her feet

> (she wears crocs) and she cannot hurry if her life depended on it. the pe

> teacher was very understanding giving her extra time if she needed it and

> watched out to make sure she was included when teams were picked. She got

> off to an excellent start and was able to tolerate the noise and the crowded

> halls and to my surprise PE. I have had to send emails if a problem

> occurred but for the most part, the teachers have been great. It's been a

> good year for my daughter, I am really proud how well she acclimated.

> However, she really likes to feel grown up and is willing to push her limits

> to do this, so she was motivated.

>

>

>

> Boy I was very wordy. Hope it helps, good luck to you and your daughter.

>

>

>

> Regards, melody k.

>

>

--

Sent from my mobile device

-mommy to Emma, Becca, ,

, , and baby girl no name (yeah I know, nothing new, does

ever pick a name in a timely manner?) July 2010

[Guest guest]

thank you

From: mkalomiris@...Date: Thu, 6 May 2010 14:56:32 -0700Subject: RE: ( ) Do things get better in Junior High???

So sorry that things like this happen. I have two daughters and both experienced very similar scenarios. It was painful for all of us so I know it is painful for you and your daughter. there are no words of comfort, just time.

Warmest regards, melody

The New Busy is not the old busy. Search, chat and e-mail from your inbox. Get started.

[Guest guest]

I feel for you. We went through the same thing with DS. Middle school/Jr High is very harsh. I wanted to transfer my son to another school but he refused and cried like your daughter. I stuck with it (familar environment for him). He is in high school (10th) and kids are more acceptable and mature. Don't get me wrong but there are still kids in high school that are down right mean but DS learns to accept kids like that and ignores them. He confides in me and I give him feedback on why certain kids treat him this and that way. Always talk to her and explain you are there for her. My 15yr-old confides in me after the fact but it's better than not knowing what is going on in school.

Take care.

From: Cheryl G <chguthrie03@...>Subject: ( ) Do things get better in Junior High??? Date: Wednesday, May 5, 2010, 11:34 AM

My heart is absolutely broken. Children are so mean!! My Aspie daughter in 6th grade got her yearbook and someone signed it "I'm sorry everyone picks on you but I'm happy to say that I don't". I called my child's teacher to make sure there wasn't anything going on that I needed to know about and she said that she had heard a few students tell my child they were not signing yearbooks that day. So the teacher went around the room and checked and found 3 yearbooks that the ones saying that had signed. They each lost 15 points (5 points for each book they did sign) and the teacher gently reminded everyone that signing the yearbooks only meant you were in class with them and they would think of their classmates over the summer. I really appreciated her response and I know I can not shelter my child forever, but it breaks my heart!! She currently spends her recess either working in the Library (which she loves) or working in the cafeteria cleaning up

(which is not great but better than a lonely recess). I have been wanting her to go to a new school for YEARS!! but everytime I bring it up she cries and doesn't want to change schools because she will not know anyone at a new school, and although she doesn't have friends there are a few kids that will talk to her here. Any experience you can relate to me will be appreciated. Thank you, Cheryl

[Guest guest]

I really wish I knew what made some kids so mean. I guess it makes them feel popular or powerful, but it is so sad From: lisaldy777@...Date: Thu, 6 May 2010 17:01:36 -0700Subject: Re: ( ) Do things get better in Junior High???

I feel for you. We went through the same thing with DS. Middle school/Jr High is very harsh. I wanted to transfer my son to another school but he refused and cried like your daughter. I stuck with it (familar environment for him). He is in high school (10th) and kids are more acceptable and mature. Don't get me wrong but there are still kids in high school that are down right mean but DS learns to accept kids like that and ignores them. He confides in me and I give him feedback on why certain kids treat him this and that way. Always talk to her and explain you are there for her. My 15yr-old confides in me after the fact but it's better than not knowing what is going on in school.

Take care.

From: Cheryl G <chguthrie03 >Subject: ( ) Do things get better in Junior High??? Date: Wednesday, May 5, 2010, 11:34 AM

My heart is absolutely broken. Children are so mean!! My Aspie daughter in 6th grade got her yearbook and someone signed it "I'm sorry everyone picks on you but I'm happy to say that I don't". I called my child's teacher to make sure there wasn't anything going on that I needed to know about and she said that she had heard a few students tell my child they were not signing yearbooks that day. So the teacher went around the room and checked and found 3 yearbooks that the ones saying that had signed. They each lost 15 points (5 points for each book they did sign) and the teacher gently reminded everyone that signing the yearbooks only meant you were in class with them and they would think of their classmates over the summer. I really appreciated her response and I know I can not shelter my child forever, but it breaks my heart!! She currently spends her recess either working in the Library (which she loves) or working in the cafeteria cleaning up

(which is not great but better than a lonely recess). I have been wanting her to go to a new school for YEARS!! but everytime I bring it up she cries and doesn't want to change schools because she will not know anyone at a new school, and although she doesn't have friends there are a few kids that will talk to her here. Any experience you can relate to me will be appreciated. Thank you, Cheryl

The New Busy is not the too busy. Combine all your e-mail accounts with Hotmail. Get busy.

[Guest guest]

Not to be a downer but unfortunately it does not get better in Middle School.

The only thing that gets better is the ability the mean girls have to hide the

stuff they're doing. It's so heartbreaking because not matter how hard our girls

try they just don't blend in with the others. My daughter is in 9th grade and

I've finally realized the real world is not teenagers so why should I continue

to torture her by forcing her to be with them to socialize? We homeschool now.

>

>

> From: Cheryl G <chguthrie03@...>

> Subject: ( ) Do things get better in Junior High???

>

> Date: Wednesday, May 5, 2010, 11:34 AM

>

>

>  

>

>

>

> My heart is absolutely broken. Children are so mean!! My Aspie daughter in 6th

grade got her yearbook and someone signed it " I'm sorry everyone picks on you

but I'm happy to say that I don't " . I called my child's teacher to make sure

there wasn't anything going on that I needed to know about and she said that she

had heard a few students tell my child they were not signing yearbooks that day.

So the teacher went around the room and checked and found 3 yearbooks that the

ones saying that had signed. They each lost 15 points (5 points for each book

they did sign) and the teacher gently reminded everyone that signing the

yearbooks only meant you were in class with them and they would think of their

classmates over the summer. I really appreciated her response and I know I can

not shelter my child forever, but it breaks my heart!! She currently spends her

recess either working in the Library (which she loves) or working in the

cafeteria cleaning up (which is

> not great but better than a lonely recess). I have been wanting her to go to

a new school for YEARS!! but everytime I bring it up she cries and doesn't want

to change schools because she will not know anyone at a new school, and although

she doesn't have friends there are a few kids that will talk to her here. Any

experience you can relate to me will be appreciated. Thank you, Cheryl

>