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Re: Age or AS?

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Regina,

This is a yes and no answer I think. Most kids that age have similar sharing/

wanting other kid's things issues as your daughter. It becomes not " typical "

when it is over and beyond what is " typical " . It is hard for me to say just from

what you've mentioned. How is she in other areas? Playing with others, sensory

issues, eating issues etc? How bad does she obsess? How is she in kindergarden?

ne

> From: fredandregina2004 <fredandregina2004@...>

> Subject: ( ) Age or AS?

>

> Date: Friday, February 11, 2011, 6:43 AM

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> We are waiting a diagnose for my 5yr old but it

> seems very likely she has AS. Now certain behaviors of

> her's I look at and wonder, is this just her little

> unique personality or a symptom?

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> She has always had a very difficult time sharing, or

> wanting what her little sister has. If her sister comes

> home from preschool with anything interesting, she has a fit

> and usually ends up convincing the little one (who is SO

> easy going THANK GOD!) to give it to her.

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> She doesn't do this that much on playdates or with

> other kids, just her sister.

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> Lately my daughters current obsession is the Carebears. My

> little one came home from school with a Carebear Valentine.

> I didn't feel right about what I was about to say, but

> it's been a hard week just beginning to learn that my

> daughter possibly has AS, and I wasn't up to another

> meltdown. So... I suggested my little one hide the Carebear

> Valentine if she didn't want it taken away. She did, way

> in the back of her closet.

>

> The SECOND we pick up my older daughter from school the

> little one says, " I got a carebear valentine and hid it

> from you! " Oh well what did I expect from a 3 yr

> old???

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> Anyway, do other Mom's find this with their kiddos that

> sharing and wanting the one thing that the sibling is

> holding or is it just her/her age?

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> Regina

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A typical kid may be able to be reasoned with, you may

be able to give a perspective that " how would you feel

if whatever you brought home you had to give aways " and

a typical kid may be able to consider that thought ..

An AS child may say " I have to have that, it is unfair that

she gets that and I don't " .

Pam

>

> We are waiting a diagnose for my 5yr old but it seems very likely she has AS.

Now certain behaviors of her's I look at and wonder, is this just her little

unique personality or a symptom?

>

> She has always had a very difficult time sharing, or wanting what her little

sister has. If her sister comes home from preschool with anything interesting,

she has a fit and usually ends up convincing the little one (who is SO easy

going THANK GOD!) to give it to her.

>

> She doesn't do this that much on playdates or with other kids, just her

sister.

>

> Lately my daughters current obsession is the Carebears. My little one came

home from school with a Carebear Valentine. I didn't feel right about what I was

about to say, but it's been a hard week just beginning to learn that my daughter

possibly has AS, and I wasn't up to another meltdown. So... I suggested my

little one hide the Carebear Valentine if she didn't want it taken away. She

did, way in the back of her closet.

> The SECOND we pick up my older daughter from school the little one says, " I

got a carebear valentine and hid it from you! " Oh well what did I expect from a

3 yr old???

>

> Anyway, do other Mom's find this with their kiddos that sharing and wanting

the one thing that the sibling is holding or is it just her/her age?

>

> Regina

>

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Or have a complete meltdown lasting hours.... They demand and are rigid.. at least mine is

In a message dated 2/11/2011 10:08:22 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, susanonderko@... writes:

A typical kid may be able to be reasoned with, you maybe able to give a perspective that "how would you feelif whatever you brought home you had to give aways" anda typical kid may be able to consider that thought ..An AS child may say "I have to have that, it is unfair thatshe gets that and I don't".Pam>> We are waiting a diagnose for my 5yr old but it seems very likely she has AS. Now certain behaviors of her's I look at and wonder, is this just her little unique personality or a symptom? > > She has always had a very difficult time sharing, or wanting what her little sister has. If her sister comes home from preschool with anything interesting, she has a fit and usually ends up convincing the little one (who is SO easy going THANK GOD!) to give it to her. > > She doesn't do this that much on playdates or with other kids, just her sister. > > Lately my daughters current obsession is the Carebears. My little one came home from school with a Carebear Valentine. I didn't feel right about what I was about to say, but it's been a hard week just beginning to learn that my daughter possibly has AS, and I wasn't up to another meltdown. So... I suggested my little one hide the Carebear Valentine if she didn't want it taken away. She did, way in the back of her closet. > The SECOND we pick up my older daughter from school the little one says, "I got a carebear valentine and hid it from you!" Oh well what did I expect from a 3 yr old??? > > Anyway, do other Mom's find this with their kiddos that sharing and wanting the one thing that the sibling is holding or is it just her/her age?> > Regina>

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In s case he learned the socially accepted automatic response " well I

would feel sad " but you could tell there was no emotion behind the words. It was

a learned response.

> >

> > We are waiting a diagnose for my 5yr old but it seems very likely she has

AS. Now certain behaviors of her's I look at and wonder, is this just her

little unique personality or a symptom?

> >

> > She has always had a very difficult time sharing, or wanting what her little

sister has. If her sister comes home from preschool with anything interesting,

she has a fit and usually ends up convincing the little one (who is SO easy

going THANK GOD!) to give it to her.

> >

> > She doesn't do this that much on playdates or with other kids, just her

sister.

> >

> > Lately my daughters current obsession is the Carebears. My little one came

home from school with a Carebear Valentine. I didn't feel right about what I was

about to say, but it's been a hard week just beginning to learn that my daughter

possibly has AS, and I wasn't up to another meltdown. So... I suggested my

little one hide the Carebear Valentine if she didn't want it taken away. She

did, way in the back of her closet.

> > The SECOND we pick up my older daughter from school the little one says, " I

got a carebear valentine and hid it from you! " Oh well what did I expect from a

3 yr old???

> >

> > Anyway, do other Mom's find this with their kiddos that sharing and wanting

the one thing that the sibling is holding or is it just her/her age?

> >

> > Regina

> >

>

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I agree with someone else who posted and said that this is a yes and no answer.

I think it is partly the age- but also the Asperger's. My sons are 6 & 3.5 yrs

old. My 6 yr old has Asperger's (along with SPD, ADHD and anxiety)- and he will

do the same exact thing. And my 3.5 yr old will sometimes do the same thing

yours did. It also depends on the time of day, how much sleep they have gotten,

etc. Some days sharing is not even an issue and they blow me away with how they

work things out. Other days... not so much. When they are both calm and in a

good mood (ha ha) I try to do a little role play game with them. My 3 yr old

has often taken on the role of " The Fixer " and tries to make everything Ok, for

ex when my 6 yr old is having a major meltdown or just being really unruly. I

feel badly because a 3 yr old does not need to take on this role. So, we talk

about it a lot when his big bro is not around so he knows that he is not

responsible for his big bros behaviors and how it effects everyone (especially

me- I am sure he worries about me).

I have also noticed that my 6 yr old Aspie is a little immature for his age

emotionally. (and my 3 yr old is much more mature than most 3 yr olds- go

figure!)

> >

> > We are waiting a diagnose for my 5yr old but it seems very likely she

> has AS. Now certain behaviors of her's I look at and wonder, is this just her

> little unique personality or a symptom?

> >

> > She has always had a very difficult time sharing, or wanting what her

> little sister has. If her sister comes home from preschool with anything

> interesting, she has a fit and usually ends up convincing the little one (who

> is SO easy going THANK GOD!) to give it to her.

> >

> > She doesn't do this that much on playdates or with other kids, just her

> sister.

> >

> > Lately my daughters current obsession is the Carebears. My little one

> came home from school with a Carebear Valentine. I didn't feel right about

> what I was about to say, but it's been a hard week just beginning to learn

> that my daughter possibly has AS, and I wasn't up to another meltdown. So...

> I suggested my little one hide the Carebear Valentine if she didn't want it

> taken away. She did, way in the back of her closet.

> > The SECOND we pick up my older daughter from school the little one says,

> " I got a carebear valentine and hid it from you! " Oh well what did I

> expect from a 3 yr old???

> >

> > Anyway, do other Mom's find this with their kiddos that sharing and

> wanting the one thing that the sibling is holding or is it just her/her age?

> >

> > Regina

> >

>

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I see this too. My younger son is a "fixer" in his own way. He tries to be funny to distract us when things get tense with his brother. Unfortunately, he tries to be funny a lot in school too (he's 8) and he gets in trouble for this. He is getting a little better this year, but having a sibling with AS does really affect a kid.Suzanne (in MI)Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®From: "nicolea102602" <nicolea102602@...>Sender: Date: Sat, 12 Feb 2011 02:45:52 -0000< >Reply Subject: ( ) Re: Age or AS? I agree with someone else who posted and said that this is a yes and no answer. I think it is partly the age- but also the Asperger's. My sons are 6 & 3.5 yrs old. My 6 yr old has Asperger's (along with SPD, ADHD and anxiety)- and he will do the same exact thing. And my 3.5 yr old will sometimes do the same thing yours did. It also depends on the time of day, how much sleep they have gotten, etc. Some days sharing is not even an issue and they blow me away with how they work things out. Other days... not so much. When they are both calm and in a good mood (ha ha) I try to do a little role play game with them. My 3 yr old has often taken on the role of " The Fixer " and tries to make everything Ok, for ex when my 6 yr old is having a major meltdown or just being really unruly. I feel badly because a 3 yr old does not need to take on this role. So, we talk about it a lot when his big bro is not around so he knows that he is not responsible for his big bros behaviors and how it effects everyone (especially me- I am sure he worries about me).I have also noticed that my 6 yr old Aspie is a little immature for his age emotionally. (and my 3 yr old is much more mature than most 3 yr olds- go figure!) > >> > We are waiting a diagnose for my 5yr old but it seems very likely she > has AS. Now certain behaviors of her's I look at and wonder, is this just her > little unique personality or a symptom? > > > > She has always had a very difficult time sharing, or wanting what her > little sister has. If her sister comes home from preschool with anything > interesting, she has a fit and usually ends up convincing the little one (who > is SO easy going THANK GOD!) to give it to her. > > > > She doesn't do this that much on playdates or with other kids, just her > sister. > > > > Lately my daughters current obsession is the Carebears. My little one > came home from school with a Carebear Valentine. I didn't feel right about > what I was about to say, but it's been a hard week just beginning to learn > that my daughter possibly has AS, and I wasn't up to another meltdown. So... > I suggested my little one hide the Carebear Valentine if she didn't want it > taken away. She did, way in the back of her closet. > > The SECOND we pick up my older daughter from school the little one says, > " I got a carebear valentine and hid it from you! " Oh well what did I > expect from a 3 yr old??? > > > > Anyway, do other Mom's find this with their kiddos that sharing and > wanting the one thing that the sibling is holding or is it just her/her age?> > > > Regina> >>

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