Re: Re: 'Begging for a hug that I never get

[Guest guest]

My aspie girl hates any kind of physical contact, no hugs, no kisses, no holding hands, no combing her hair, etc.. Sometimes I beg her for a hug, but she gets mad at me.

My son is 22 years old, he does not show me any affection neither, but in mother's day or in Christmas day the only present I ask for is a hug then he gives me a hug

My son is bio polar, in the depression side, but he has some patterns similar tan my aspie girl.

I never felt I lost them, I always have felt I never have them.

The emotional wall between us is very evident, by now I am used to it. I wonder if they will ever be able to have a relationship with other people.

I have grieve all those years, but I am used to it know. I got a cat to feel better, but I feel that my cat has aspergers too....LOL

( ) 'the child i lost'> > > > > ok- here's a not practical, but very emotional question. > CAN ANYONE RELATE TO THE FOLLOWING FEELING:> > my son is 4, diagnosed with aspergers 15 months ago. recently i was looking at old photos and videos which i havent done in a while. there was a video of my son when he was just 2, talking animatedly to the camera and even hugging his doll. I had a meltdown. my husband couldnt understand, he said 'he's different, all kids grow up, they're allways less cute at 4 then at 2' but he didtn see what i saw. i saw a kid who's pervasive disorder had not yet fully taken over and i saw a glimps of a child, my child, that i feel i have lost. in that video i saw a small boy who could still love and feel, and LAUGH. he was laughing, so freely. he bearly ever does that now. worse than the feelings themselves, was the realization I'm alone in feeling them and my husband thinks im crazy. does anyone understand? is it a mother thing? or have I really gone batty? I know he was born with what he has, but it takes time for these things to fully mature and i honestly think when he was younger he w as less pluaged and just, lighter, freer, happier. i love my son - for who he his today- with all my heart. am i such a bad mother for missing the little boy who would giggle and smile? the boy that once in a while let me feel like a good mother? lately i feel less than a mother and more like a caregiver. please, if there's anyone out there to give me a virtual hug, ill take it. cuz im tryin here, but i feel really alone.>

[Guest guest]

My aspie boy, 11, does not like certain physical contact. When he was younger, no hugging, kissing or touching. He will push away and hit. Now he does not like kissing. He will kiss me but no one else, but I cannot kiss hin unless I do it on his head. He is a hugger. He is always hugging us to the point that soffocates you. So, let's hope that they all go thru stages. I am still grieving for the boy I lost. I have a lot of "loss" feelings that never go away. He is great and I count my blessings every day about his condition that can be alot worse.

Ide

From: "tfitzge134@..." <tfitzge134@...> Sent: Mon, February 15, 2010 7:41:57 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: 'Begging for a hug that I never get

My aspie girl hates any kind of physical contact, no hugs, no kisses, no holding hands, no combing her hair, etc.. Sometimes I beg her for a hug, but she gets mad at me.

My son is 22 years old, he does not show me any affection neither, but in mother's day or in Christmas day the only present I ask for is a hug then he gives me a hug

My son is bio polar, in the depression side, but he has some patterns similar tan my aspie girl.

I never felt I lost them, I always have felt I never have them.

The emotional wall between us is very evident, by now I am used to it. I wonder if they will ever be able to have a relationship with other people.

I have grieve all those years, but I am used to it know. I got a cat to feel better, but I feel that my cat has aspergers too....LOL

( ) 'the child i lost'> > > > > ok- here's a not practical, but very emotional question. > CAN ANYONE RELATE TO THE FOLLOWING FEELING:> > my son is 4, diagnosed with aspergers 15 months ago. recently i was looking at old photos and videos which i havent done in a while. there was a video of my son when he was just 2, talking animatedly to the camera and even hugging his doll. I had a meltdown. my husband couldnt understand, he said 'he's

different, all kids grow up, they're allways less cute at 4 then at 2' but he didtn see what i saw. i saw a kid who's pervasive disorder had not yet fully taken over and i saw a glimps of a child, my child, that i feel i have lost. in that video i saw a small boy who could still love and feel, and LAUGH. he was laughing, so freely. he bearly ever does that now. worse than the feelings themselves, was the realization I'm alone in feeling them and my husband thinks im crazy. does anyone understand? is it a mother thing? or have I really gone batty? I know he was born with what he has, but it takes time for these things to fully mature and i honestly think when he was younger he w as less pluaged and just, lighter, freer, happier. i love my son - for who he his today- with all my heart. am i such a bad mother for missing the little boy who would giggle and smile? the boy that once in a while let me feel like a good mother? lately i feel less than a mother

and more like a caregiver. please, if there's anyone out there to give me a virtual hug, ill take it. cuz im tryin here, but i feel really alone.>

[Guest guest]

You are right the grieving does not go away but it eventually gets less painful.

Sometimes when I see children interacting with their parents I smile and I crave for having a time like that with my daugther.

I remember her drawing pictures when she was a toddler, she was not physical at all, instead she used to draw pictures of everything and she was two years old. When she became verbal the drawing stopped, but still she did not play or run. She was in an early intervention program at 18 months, during all those years I was working full time instead of helping her to overcome her disabilities but money is always an issue for me.

I saw her having seizures when she was born, I told the doctors, but I was not assertive enough and the doctors doubt my credibility.

They were wrong....

Two years ago she was diagnosed with epilepsy. Too many years without a diagnosis has affected her physically and mentally. I am supposed to be her advocate, but the system has been always against us and the easy way for me was to believe that the problem was in my head...

My daughter does not express affection and ignore mother's day, my birthday, Christmas, etc. she is into her own day dreaming world and do not let me to share that world with her.

I notice that she can communicate better with text messages and with friends while she plays interactive games with other children.

I

( ) 'the child i lost'> > > > > ok- here's a not practical, but very emotional question. > CAN ANYONE RELATE TO THE FOLLOWING FEELING:> > my son is 4, diagnosed with aspergers 15 months ago. recently i was looking at old photos and videos which i havent done in a while. there was a video of my son when he was just 2, talking animatedly to the camera and even hugging his doll. I had a meltdown. my husband couldnt understand, he said 'he's different, all kids grow up, they're allways less cute at 4 then at 2' but he didtn see what i saw. i saw a kid who's pervasive disorder had not yet fully taken over and i saw a glimps of a child, my child, that i feel i have lost. in that video i saw a small boy who could still love and feel, and LAUGH. he was laughing, so freely. he bearly ever does that now. worse than the feelings themselves, was the realization I'm alone in feeling them and my husband thinks im crazy. does anyone understand? is it a mother thing? or have I really gone batty? I know he was born with what he has, but it takes time for these things to fully mature and i honestly think when he was younger he w as less pluaged and just, lighter, freer, happier. i love my son - for who he his today- with all my heart. am i such a bad mother for missing the little boy who would giggle and smile? the boy that once in a while let me feel like a good mother? lately i feel less than a mother and more like a caregiver. please, if there's anyone out there to give me a virtual hug, ill take it. cuz im tryin here, but i feel really alone.>