Re: Just need to vent a little here

[Guest guest]

I have a friend whose husband is an aspie and he loves guns. A lot. He orders videos to learn more and he has several guns. He does target practice but he doesn't not shoot animals or people. He will if he has too. I think it makes him feel more in control incase a burglar came into his home or if a mountain lion tried to attack him camping. Anyway he has a sales job and is a very normal guy. He just really really likes information about guns. I have noticed some aspie people are information seekers so it isn't as much about the medium but about the facts and stats about it.From: karla smith

<llamattude@...>Subject: ( ) Just need to vent a little here Date: Friday, January 15, 2010, 5:48 AM

Hi all;

You guys have always been so supportive and great. I just need to vent and get somethings off my chest.

As you know I had some issues not long ago about my son refusing to get started. I have finally narrowed that down to him refusing to write. We have since worked that out and going great. However, we have other problems that I about to drive me crazy.

His meds are off, and having to change doctors all the time for insurance reasons. My son is very ragy right now and manic. To the point we can't handle him. I have gotten him to do little things school wise, but not much and not pushed as he has not been right. Which that is fine, it is the just handling him on a day to day basis.

Example: the other day we had to go to the psychologist, we done our normal thing for the day. Went over to his grandmothers, (she lives in our back yard) had breakfast and drank coffee. I've been going over to help her with her little dog she got for Christmas. Then we come home, he was to get a bath, I was going to get a book and a few other things for him to work on during his wait in the doctors office and try to catch up. (We are enrolled in a homeschool/private school setting. It is not what we thought we were getting and we thought we were getting support for if he refused to do work as well as them grading his work and all. Because we had so much problems with public school we wanted back up if they tried anything with the homeschool.) Anyway, I was in the class room getting things gathered up and next thing I know I hear him screaming to the top of his lungs. I go running in the living room, he had gotten his bath, but he was screaming

something I could't understand at his Dad over the phone. Where not ten minutes before he was fine. I asked him what was going on and he screamed no words just screamed at me. I grabbed the phone away from him and ask what was going on. My dh informed me that he was yelling something about his money for a gun, then at the switch of a hat fabric, and then back to a gun. (My son is obsessed with guns and police, it bothers me that he is so obsessed with guns, but none of the other doctors seem to think it is an issue.)

I got off the phone with dh and ds starts screaming at me he wants his money that we know where it is at and we won't let him have it. I don't honestly know how much money he has, he gets it and scatters it through the house, will not put it in one spot, so we don't know where it is at. He says he is going to go over and take it from his Mimi how ever he has to get money for a gun. I have to literally set on him to keep him from doing this. He is screaming to the top of his lungs. I swear if the neighbors were home they would have called the law on us, they would have thought I was beating the kid.

As it was getting closer to the doctor, I knew there was no way in the world I could get him there by myself, as he was still raging, an hour later. (The longest he has had in a long time.) He has this habit of letting you think he is fine and then all of a sudden diving across the seat and grabbing the steering wheel and jerking it. When he was like that before meds, dh and I got to where we were a tag team with that and worked to get someplace safe. Again doctor's didn't seem to see this as an issue of importance. (I've thought that sometimes they think we are making this stuff up.)

An hour after we were supposed to be at the doctor, he finally calmed down some. We had given him a Benydril to try and make him rest. We need a plan, I have asked the doctor's to help with a plan for these sitauations and they say they won't happen. Also, again the fact that we have to switch psychatrist so much does not help any at all.

Things were fairly quiet for awhile, I did get a little work out of him again not pushing, more to try and keep him busy than anything. He was claiming tired, I understood that and let him rest.

Then dh comes in, and walks out the front door to see about our plumbing as we were having plumbing problems. Then my son went into another rage about his money. This time before I realized what happened he ran out the door to his Mimi's. I tried to call and tell her what was going on, but he was there before I could get the phone dialed. I hung up and ran over there. He was screaming at her, of course her not knowing for sure what was going on. She usually can calm him down, this time she couldn't. Then he started blaming my younger son for him not getting his money and said he was going to beat him up and ran out the door again. Me trying to explain what was going on. Him yelling he needed a gun to protect him because someone was going to break in our house.

I ran after him and he came to our house not going to the neighbors where my younger son was at the moment. He seemed calm. I started washing dishes and then he came after me trying to hurt me. Luckily he is a small little guy and weak muscled for his age so I could easily over power him. I got him in the floor and held him so he couldn't kick or hit me. Until he finally calmed down, another thirty minutes later. Dh was out at the barn during this time and had no clue as to what was going on. I had no way of calling him for help.

After it was all said and done, this was in fact the first time he has ever been this bad in his life. We had no clue as to what to do with him as none of the doctor's have helped in trying to come up with a plan for him dispite the fact that I have asked. I wanted to take him to the hospital, but the down side to that is the hospitals here are not set up to handle children like this and they don't know what to do with them. The psychatrist' s do not get to see him long enough to be able to help him much or us. The plan right now is that we are going to go back to one of the psychatrist' s that we went to before that we really liked that insurance stopped paying. We are just going to pay out of pocket and hope that insurance will pay for meds. We have called them and told them he was really off and we see him the first of next week. If we can survive this weekend.

Sorry this is so long, I just needed to get it off my chest. It is frustrating when you don't know what to do for him.

Thanks for listening or reading.

Karla

[Guest guest]

When I moved in with my now husband a long time ago he also had a small gun. (He is an aspie and our daughter has autism.) He had seen those shows where a bad guy comes in and hurts the family. He could not just ignore it or act like it wouldn't happen to him.; Once he had known it was possible and that some people are really evil I think it changed him as a little boy to fear people a little. I know the gun made him feel protected. When we had our daughter we switched to pepper spray. the gun is gone and the pepper spray is hidden. He still feels protected with that in the house. Oh and also we have a wooden baseball bat by the bed. that was also his idea to use on burglars. wierd I know but he needs the pepper spray and bat to sleep. maybe your son will change his favorite from guns to

some else too. It is real important to my husband that we have these in the home. I wouldn't ask him to not have them now that I know what a big deal it is to him. I just try to find ways to reason with him to a compromise. He also now as a husband is very afraid for my safety. He wishes I would stay hidden in the house and never leave. He is afraid I will be attacked some day. silly boy. I try to tell him we can not spen our whole lives fearing what might happen. I talked it out with him that I would do my best to fight back and I want him to trust me and try to not think about it. He is trying. poor guy. I think it is really hard for him to feel out of control. Thinking that others can rob you or hurt you without warning makes him feel very out of control. I don't want him to hear those stories on the news but he does sometimes. he is shocked and amazed everytime

something horrible happens to another person. And he points it out the most when it is random and "makes no sense". It is just who he is to feel vonerable I guess. From: karla smith <llamattude@...>Subject: ( ) Just need to vent a little here Date: Friday, January 15, 2010, 5:48 AM

Hi all;

You guys have always been so supportive and great. I just need to vent and get somethings off my chest.

As you know I had some issues not long ago about my son refusing to get started. I have finally narrowed that down to him refusing to write. We have since worked that out and going great. However, we have other problems that I about to drive me crazy.

His meds are off, and having to change doctors all the time for insurance reasons. My son is very ragy right now and manic. To the point we can't handle him. I have gotten him to do little things school wise, but not much and not pushed as he has not been right. Which that is fine, it is the just handling him on a day to day basis.

Example: the other day we had to go to the psychologist, we done our normal thing for the day. Went over to his grandmothers, (she lives in our back yard) had breakfast and drank coffee. I've been going over to help her with her little dog she got for Christmas. Then we come home, he was to get a bath, I was going to get a book and a few other things for him to work on during his wait in the doctors office and try to catch up. (We are enrolled in a homeschool/private school setting. It is not what we thought we were getting and we thought we were getting support for if he refused to do work as well as them grading his work and all. Because we had so much problems with public school we wanted back up if they tried anything with the homeschool.) Anyway, I was in the class room getting things gathered up and next thing I know I hear him screaming to the top of his lungs. I go running in the living room, he had gotten his bath, but he was screaming

something I could't understand at his Dad over the phone. Where not ten minutes before he was fine. I asked him what was going on and he screamed no words just screamed at me. I grabbed the phone away from him and ask what was going on. My dh informed me that he was yelling something about his money for a gun, then at the switch of a hat fabric, and then back to a gun. (My son is obsessed with guns and police, it bothers me that he is so obsessed with guns, but none of the other doctors seem to think it is an issue.)

I got off the phone with dh and ds starts screaming at me he wants his money that we know where it is at and we won't let him have it. I don't honestly know how much money he has, he gets it and scatters it through the house, will not put it in one spot, so we don't know where it is at. He says he is going to go over and take it from his Mimi how ever he has to get money for a gun. I have to literally set on him to keep him from doing this. He is screaming to the top of his lungs. I swear if the neighbors were home they would have called the law on us, they would have thought I was beating the kid.

As it was getting closer to the doctor, I knew there was no way in the world I could get him there by myself, as he was still raging, an hour later. (The longest he has had in a long time.) He has this habit of letting you think he is fine and then all of a sudden diving across the seat and grabbing the steering wheel and jerking it. When he was like that before meds, dh and I got to where we were a tag team with that and worked to get someplace safe. Again doctor's didn't seem to see this as an issue of importance. (I've thought that sometimes they think we are making this stuff up.)

An hour after we were supposed to be at the doctor, he finally calmed down some. We had given him a Benydril to try and make him rest. We need a plan, I have asked the doctor's to help with a plan for these sitauations and they say they won't happen. Also, again the fact that we have to switch psychatrist so much does not help any at all.

Things were fairly quiet for awhile, I did get a little work out of him again not pushing, more to try and keep him busy than anything. He was claiming tired, I understood that and let him rest.

Then dh comes in, and walks out the front door to see about our plumbing as we were having plumbing problems. Then my son went into another rage about his money. This time before I realized what happened he ran out the door to his Mimi's. I tried to call and tell her what was going on, but he was there before I could get the phone dialed. I hung up and ran over there. He was screaming at her, of course her not knowing for sure what was going on. She usually can calm him down, this time she couldn't. Then he started blaming my younger son for him not getting his money and said he was going to beat him up and ran out the door again. Me trying to explain what was going on. Him yelling he needed a gun to protect him because someone was going to break in our house.

I ran after him and he came to our house not going to the neighbors where my younger son was at the moment. He seemed calm. I started washing dishes and then he came after me trying to hurt me. Luckily he is a small little guy and weak muscled for his age so I could easily over power him. I got him in the floor and held him so he couldn't kick or hit me. Until he finally calmed down, another thirty minutes later. Dh was out at the barn during this time and had no clue as to what was going on. I had no way of calling him for help.

After it was all said and done, this was in fact the first time he has ever been this bad in his life. We had no clue as to what to do with him as none of the doctor's have helped in trying to come up with a plan for him dispite the fact that I have asked. I wanted to take him to the hospital, but the down side to that is the hospitals here are not set up to handle children like this and they don't know what to do with them. The psychatrist' s do not get to see him long enough to be able to help him much or us. The plan right now is that we are going to go back to one of the psychatrist' s that we went to before that we really liked that insurance stopped paying. We are just going to pay out of pocket and hope that insurance will pay for meds. We have called them and told them he was really off and we see him the first of next week. If we can survive this weekend.

Sorry this is so long, I just needed to get it off my chest. It is frustrating when you don't know what to do for him.

Thanks for listening or reading.

Karla

[Guest guest]

Oh Karla......

I''m so sorry for you and your son.

First, I just gotta say that when reading your post,,,,,,I think you have to set up a video camera (just have it ready).....even if it's just for the "sound". When a situation gets bad,,,,just press record without letting him know. Know what I mean? I know this sounds horrible,,,,,,but it would be invaluable to the RIGHT DOC.

I am sorry you may have to pay for a "GOOD DOC" out of pocket,,,,,but the one(s) you have now obviously aren't qualified or don't care. Sad, isn't it?

You sound like an amazing mom.....doing your best. Keep going. You know what's best.....it's just that, sadly, it's really hard sometimes to get the right doc and right med and even the right school-setting. Taking our son out of pub school for 2 years did miracles. But,,,,,every "new placement" is different for everyone.

Is your son BP? Is he on meds for it? What's his DX?

Anyway,,,,,,I just think you gotta follow your head/heart on this one and get a new doc - no ,matter what. It took us 5 1/2 years to find one that actually looked at us while we talked. That actually asked questions other than, "So,,,,do you want us to send the RX to the same pharmacy?" Ugh.

Hugs to you.

Robin

From: karla smith <llamattude@...>Subject: ( ) Just need to vent a little here Date: Friday, January 15, 2010, 6:48 AM

Hi all;

You guys have always been so supportive and great. I just need to vent and get somethings off my chest.

As you know I had some issues not long ago about my son refusing to get started. I have finally narrowed that down to him refusing to write. We have since worked that out and going great. However, we have other problems that I about to drive me crazy.

His meds are off, and having to change doctors all the time for insurance reasons. My son is very ragy right now and manic. To the point we can't handle him. I have gotten him to do little things school wise, but not much and not pushed as he has not been right. Which that is fine, it is the just handling him on a day to day basis.

Example: the other day we had to go to the psychologist, we done our normal thing for the day. Went over to his grandmothers, (she lives in our back yard) had breakfast and drank coffee. I've been going over to help her with her little dog she got for Christmas. Then we come home, he was to get a bath, I was going to get a book and a few other things for him to work on during his wait in the doctors office and try to catch up. (We are enrolled in a homeschool/private school setting. It is not what we thought we were getting and we thought we were getting support for if he refused to do work as well as them grading his work and all. Because we had so much problems with public school we wanted back up if they tried anything with the homeschool.) Anyway, I was in the class room getting things gathered up and next thing I know I hear him screaming to the top of his lungs. I go running in the living room, he had gotten his bath, but he was screaming

something I could't understand at his Dad over the phone. Where not ten minutes before he was fine. I asked him what was going on and he screamed no words just screamed at me. I grabbed the phone away from him and ask what was going on. My dh informed me that he was yelling something about his money for a gun, then at the switch of a hat fabric, and then back to a gun. (My son is obsessed with guns and police, it bothers me that he is so obsessed with guns, but none of the other doctors seem to think it is an issue.)

I got off the phone with dh and ds starts screaming at me he wants his money that we know where it is at and we won't let him have it. I don't honestly know how much money he has, he gets it and scatters it through the house, will not put it in one spot, so we don't know where it is at. He says he is going to go over and take it from his Mimi how ever he has to get money for a gun. I have to literally set on him to keep him from doing this. He is screaming to the top of his lungs. I swear if the neighbors were home they would have called the law on us, they would have thought I was beating the kid.

As it was getting closer to the doctor, I knew there was no way in the world I could get him there by myself, as he was still raging, an hour later. (The longest he has had in a long time.) He has this habit of letting you think he is fine and then all of a sudden diving across the seat and grabbing the steering wheel and jerking it. When he was like that before meds, dh and I got to where we were a tag team with that and worked to get someplace safe. Again doctor's didn't seem to see this as an issue of importance.. (I've thought that sometimes they think we are making this stuff up.)

An hour after we were supposed to be at the doctor, he finally calmed down some. We had given him a Benydril to try and make him rest. We need a plan, I have asked the doctor's to help with a plan for these sitauations and they say they won't happen. Also, again the fact that we have to switch psychatrist so much does not help any at all.

Things were fairly quiet for awhile, I did get a little work out of him again not pushing, more to try and keep him busy than anything. He was claiming tired, I understood that and let him rest.

Then dh comes in, and walks out the front door to see about our plumbing as we were having plumbing problems. Then my son went into another rage about his money. This time before I realized what happened he ran out the door to his Mimi's. I tried to call and tell her what was going on, but he was there before I could get the phone dialed. I hung up and ran over there. He was screaming at her, of course her not knowing for sure what was going on. She usually can calm him down, this time she couldn't. Then he started blaming my younger son for him not getting his money and said he was going to beat him up and ran out the door again. Me trying to explain what was going on. Him yelling he needed a gun to protect him because someone was going to break in our house.

I ran after him and he came to our house not going to the neighbors where my younger son was at the moment. He seemed calm. I started washing dishes and then he came after me trying to hurt me. Luckily he is a small little guy and weak muscled for his age so I could easily over power him. I got him in the floor and held him so he couldn't kick or hit me. Until he finally calmed down, another thirty minutes later. Dh was out at the barn during this time and had no clue as to what was going on. I had no way of calling him for help.

After it was all said and done, this was in fact the first time he has ever been this bad in his life. We had no clue as to what to do with him as none of the doctor's have helped in trying to come up with a plan for him dispite the fact that I have asked. I wanted to take him to the hospital, but the down side to that is the hospitals here are not set up to handle children like this and they don't know what to do with them. The psychatrist' s do not get to see him long enough to be able to help him much or us. The plan right now is that we are going to go back to one of the psychatrist' s that we went to before that we really liked that insurance stopped paying.. We are just going to pay out of pocket and hope that insurance will pay for meds. We have called them and told them he was really off and we see him the first of next week. If we can survive this weekend.

Sorry this is so long, I just needed to get it off my chest. It is frustrating when you don't know what to do for him.

Thanks for listening or reading.

Karla

[Guest guest]

My sister takes in foster kids and sometimes this kind of thing happens to her -

where a child will go into a sudden rage and need to be restrained.

You can call the police in this situation and the police will take the child to

a hospital for observation and testing to find out what is going on. Calling the

police is drastic, but if you are having problems getting your doctor to listen

& believe you, this may help your child get to the right doctor and get the

right tests and hopefully the right medication when he comes home. The last time

this happened to my sister the solution was a change in medication. The boy

needed a week or so to get the old stuff out of his system and then started with

the new meds. He was a completely different kid on the new meds - A happy,

creative kid instead of a moody, violent one.

I'm so sorry that you are in this situation. Please let us know how things work

out.

[Guest guest]

Thanks all so much for your support it is really great. My son is bipolar with

mild asp. He is on meds but they need adjusting and the doctors other than the

one we are getting ready to go see again says they are fine as is. This doctor

had a plan set up and we were in the middle of weaning off one and do something

different when the insurance changed all that.

We live in a fairly safe farm area. However I have had some bad experiences with

some people. Son does not know this. Also, I have a hearing problem so for our

protection we have two big dogs. One a rare breed that is well known for being

protective of their family. Koalie is our bodyguard he has to have us in his

sites all the time. He has been known to lay and just stare at us to make sure

we are alright. :-) He is a great boy. Wish that was enough for my son.

Thanks so much

Karla

[Guest guest]

It is so difficult at times. Exhausting too. My daughter has similar rages and

hits me when she is overloaded. She says very similar things, gets very

demanding

at times. She is not BP (or yet). She has no manic phase other

than these kinds of outbursts and sleeps well through the

night. Many AS kids are treated with rispedal or abilify to try

to quiet outbursts. I don't know what med your son is on.

My daughter is on Zoloft. Since she has many other health

issues her doctor doesn't want to use abilify or rispedal

unless I were to really push it. If I wanted to push it I would

keep a log and audiotape each occurance and say little (so not to escalate in

anyway). If he hits you say " no hitting " that is it

to log that.

I have brought audiotapes to the nueropsych eval and

the pschiatrist when I was first trying to get her treated

and DX.

good luck,

Pam

>

> Thanks all so much for your support it is really great. My son is bipolar with

mild asp. He is on meds but they need adjusting and the doctors other than the

one we are getting ready to go see again says they are fine as is. This doctor

had a plan set up and we were in the middle of weaning off one and do something

different when the insurance changed all that.

>

> We live in a fairly safe farm area. However I have had some bad experiences

with some people. Son does not know this. Also, I have a hearing problem so for

our protection we have two big dogs. One a rare breed that is well known for

being protective of their family. Koalie is our bodyguard he has to have us in

his sites all the time. He has been known to lay and just stare at us to make

sure we are alright. :-) He is a great boy. Wish that was enough for my son.

>

> Thanks so much

> Karla

>

[Guest guest]

My son is on intuniv. It's an ADHD but it's worked wonders for my sons outbursts. On Jan 15, 2010, at 7:52 PM, "Pamela" <susanonderko@...> wrote:

It is so difficult at times. Exhausting too. My daughter has similar rages and hits me when she is overloaded. She says very similar things, gets very demanding

at times. She is not BP (or yet). She has no manic phase other

than these kinds of outbursts and sleeps well through the

night. Many AS kids are treated with rispedal or abilify to try

to quiet outbursts. I don't know what med your son is on.

My daughter is on Zoloft. Since she has many other health

issues her doctor doesn't want to use abilify or rispedal

unless I were to really push it. If I wanted to push it I would

keep a log and audiotape each occurance and say little (so not to escalate in anyway). If he hits you say "no hitting" that is it

to log that.

I have brought audiotapes to the nueropsych eval and

the pschiatrist when I was first trying to get her treated

and DX.

good luck,

Pam

>

> Thanks all so much for your support it is really great. My son is bipolar with mild asp. He is on meds but they need adjusting and the doctors other than the one we are getting ready to go see again says they are fine as is. This doctor had a plan set up and we were in the middle of weaning off one and do something different when the insurance changed all that.

>

> We live in a fairly safe farm area. However I have had some bad experiences with some people. Son does not know this. Also, I have a hearing problem so for our protection we have two big dogs. One a rare breed that is well known for being protective of their family. Koalie is our bodyguard he has to have us in his sites all the time. He has been known to lay and just stare at us to make sure we are alright. :-) He is a great boy. Wish that was enough for my son.

>

> Thanks so much

> Karla

>