Help for 6 yr old strange behavior

[Guest guest]

My 6 yr old son has had sensory issues all along that have demonstrated

themselves in strange behaviors over the years. Since he has been young I have

been able to keep him out of particular situations or just overlook it until the

unwanted behavior goes away. However he now has a problem with putting his hands

in his pants every 5-10 min. He is doing it because he does not like the way his

penis feels when it points down. He likes to keep it pointed up. This has become

a real problem not only because of sanitary reasons but also the social stigma.

People outside of the home look at him strangely and famly members are getting

tired of it as well. I understand that he does not do it to be gross but only

because of his sensory issues, but I have no idea how to help him to understand

why its not ok. I have explained to him that he needs to do it in private and to

always wash his hands, and that others do not want to see that, etc.... But

because of his AS, he just doesn't get it and tells me he just can't help it.

He is so unaware of how his behavior affects the way others treat him. I have

tried tighter underwear,different pants, pants with pockets, but nothing seems

to make a difference. Any suggestions?

Thanks

Stephaie

[Guest guest]

I think his behavior will fix itself the first time he gets made fun of for

having his hands down his pants at school. it is social learning. geo

- ( ) Help for 6 yr old strange behavior

My 6 yr old son has had sensory issues all along that have demonstrated

themselves in strange behaviors over the years. Since he has been young I have

been able to keep him out of particular situations or just overlook it until the

unwanted behavior goes away. However he now has a problem with putting his hands

in his pants every 5-10 min. He is doing it because he does not like the way his

penis feels when it points down. He likes to keep it pointed up. This has become

a real problem not only because of sanitary reasons but also the social stigma.

People outside of the home look at him strangely and famly members are getting

tired of it as well. I understand that he does not do it to be gross but only

because of his sensory issues, but I have no idea how to help him to understand

why its not ok. I have explained to him that he needs to do it in private and to

always wash his hands, and that others do not want to see that, etc.... But

because of his AS, he just doesn't get it and tells me he just can't help it.

He is so unaware of how his behavior affects the way others treat him. I have

tried tighter underwear,different pants, pants with pockets, but nothing seems

to make a difference. Any suggestions?

Thanks

Stephaie

[Guest guest]

My son did this too, although he was probably a little bit younger. My son

still will grab himself when getting in the pool cause the water is cold down

there....and he is now 8. I can tell you it did stop on its own. Nothing I did

seemed to help. I just kept reminding him to keep it private, but it took

awhile.. Even now my son will do this odd walking thing, obviusly trying to

adjust. I totally understand wanting him to see how he acts relects how others

treat him......my son does not get that either. He is always the victim and

doesn't understand why the kids at school are mean to him:( I hate to hear that

from him. So, I really don't have much advise.....just wanted to say I

understand and believe it will get better!

On Wed Feb 24th, 2010 11:56 PM EST ssminnow1@... wrote:

>My 6 yr old son has had sensory issues all along that have demonstrated

>themselves in strange behaviors over the years. Since he has been young I have

>been able to keep him out of particular situations or just overlook it until

the

>unwanted behavior goes away. However he now has a problem with putting his

hands

>in his pants every 5-10 min. He is doing it because he does not like the way

his

>penis feels when it points down. He likes to keep it pointed up. This has

become

>a real problem not only because of sanitary reasons but also the social stigma.

>People outside of the home look at him strangely and famly members are getting

>tired of it as well. I understand that he does not do it to be gross but only

>because of his sensory issues, but I have no idea how to help him to understand

>why its not ok. I have explained to him that he needs to do it in private and

to

>always wash his hands, and that others do not want to see that, etc.... But

>because of his AS, he just doesn't get it and tells me he just can't help it.

>He is so unaware of how his behavior affects the way others treat him. I have

>tried tighter underwear,different pants, pants with pockets, but nothing seems

>to make a difference. Any suggestions?

>Thanks

>Stephaie

>

>

[Guest guest]

My son did this for awhile too but I just kept reminding him that it was rude and eventually he quit. Have you tried boxer briefs? That's what my son wears. My son also has sensory challenges and I find myself redirecting behaviors all of the time due to his difficulty realizing others perception of him. It's definitely less than it use to be though. He's 13 and he has improved quite a lot. So don't give up and keep reminding him..Sent via BlackBerry by AT&TFrom: "ssminnow1@..." <ssminnow1@...>Date: Thu, 25 Feb 2010 04:56:57 -0000< >Subject: ( ) Help for 6 yr old strange behavior My 6 yr old son has had sensory issues all along that have demonstratedthemselves in strange behaviors over the years. Since he has been young I havebeen able to keep him out of particular situations or just overlook it until theunwanted behavior goes away. However he now has a problem with putting his handsin his pants every 5-10 min. He is doing it because he does not like the way hispenis feels when it points down. He likes to keep it pointed up. This has becomea real problem not only because of sanitary reasons but also the social stigma.People outside of the home look at him strangely and famly members are gettingtired of it as well. I understand that he does not do it to be gross but onlybecause of his sensory issues, but I have no idea how to help him to understandwhy its not ok. I have explained to him that he needs to do it in private and toalways wash his hands, and that others do not want to see that, etc.... Butbecause of his AS, he just doesn't get it and tells me he just can't help it. He is so unaware of how his behavior affects the way others treat him. I havetried tighter underwear,different pants, pants with pockets, but nothing seemsto make a difference. Any suggestions?ThanksStephaie

[Guest guest]

Someone please tell this to my 45 year old husband. I can't tell you how many times I've caught him doing this in the 15 years we've been married.Sigh. "Scrapbooking is a wonderful way of celebrating what I have, dreaming of what could be and healing, while coming to terms with what might never be." --Mou SahaFrom: Geo Dude <geo.dude@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Help for 6 yr old strange behavior , "ssminnow1@..." <ssminnow1@...>Date: Thursday, February

25, 2010, 7:39 AM

I think his behavior will fix itself the first time he gets made fun of for having his hands down his pants at school. it is social learning. geo

- ( ) Help for 6 yr old strange behavior

My 6 yr old son has had sensory issues all along that have demonstrated

themselves in strange behaviors over the years. Since he has been young I have

been able to keep him out of particular situations or just overlook it until the

unwanted behavior goes away. However he now has a problem with putting his hands

in his pants every 5-10 min. He is doing it because he does not like the way his

penis feels when it points down. He likes to keep it pointed up. This has become

a real problem not only because of sanitary reasons but also the social stigma.

People outside of the home look at him strangely and famly members are getting

tired of it as well. I understand that he does not do it to be gross but only

because of his sensory issues, but I have no idea how to help him to understand

why its not ok. I have explained to him that he needs to do it in private and to

always wash his hands, and that others do not want to see that, etc.... But

because of his AS, he just doesn't get it and tells me he just can't help it.

He is so unaware of how his behavior affects the way others treat him. I have

tried tighter underwear,different pants, pants with pockets, but nothing seems

to make a difference. Any suggestions?

Thanks

Stephaie

[Guest guest]

My heart goes out to you. Just keep trying to tell him that adjusting himself in public is not acceptable behavior. Do it in a nice calm way. See if you can find a book on what is acceptable and what is not. I totally understand....Others will not. My son has a lot of sensory problems and won't wear a lot of different types of clothes...don't know what I'll do if they go to uniforms. But I understand how you feel ...my son always had a runny nose ...and it always bothered him. He would pick his nose all the time. In 4th grade...his support teacher was really grossed out about it and made a big deal over it. It got so bad ...that he would pick his nose on purpose because she became annoying...LOL.

He is 14 now and only does it once in a while...he is learning slowly...and that is all i can say...try to gently remind him...don't bug him...it is something he needs to work out and learn...and i do believe he will....hang in there.

jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: <gina9431@...>Aspergers Treatment Sent: Thu, February 25, 2010 8:50:58 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Help for 6 yr old strange behavior

My son did this too, although he was probably a little bit younger. My son still will grab himself when getting in the pool cause the water is cold down there....and he is now 8. I can tell you it did stop on its own. Nothing I did seemed to help. I just kept reminding him to keep it private, but it took awhile.. Even now my son will do this odd walking thing, obviusly trying to adjust. I totally understand wanting him to see how he acts relects how others treat him......my son does not get that either. He is always the victim and doesn't understand why the kids at school are mean to him:( I hate to hear that from him. So, I really don't have much advise.....just wanted to say I understand and believe it will get better!On Wed Feb 24th, 2010 11:56 PM EST ssminnow1ymail (DOT) com wrote:>My 6 yr old son has had sensory issues all

along that have demonstrated>themselves in strange behaviors over the years. Since he has been young I have>been able to keep him out of particular situations or just overlook it until the>unwanted behavior goes away. However he now has a problem with putting his hands>in his pants every 5-10 min. He is doing it because he does not like the way his>penis feels when it points down. He likes to keep it pointed up. This has become>a real problem not only because of sanitary reasons but also the social stigma.>People outside of the home look at him strangely and famly members are getting>tired of it as well. I understand that he does not do it to be gross but only>because of his sensory issues, but I have no idea how to help him to understand>why its not ok. I have explained to him that he needs to do it in private and to>always wash his hands, and that others do not want to see

that, etc.... But>because of his AS, he just doesn't get it and tells me he just can't help it. >He is so unaware of how his behavior affects the way others treat him. I have>tried tighter underwear,different pants, pants with pockets, but nothing seems>to make a difference. Any suggestions?>Thanks>Stephaie>>

[Guest guest]

My 10 yr old still grabs himself when it is nervous...I initially tried to not

bring attention to it hoping it would pass, but he has to understand that it is

not acceptable, esp. outside the house. Now I can just point or nod and he moves

his hands.

Good luck!

Kelli

>

> My 6 yr old son has had sensory issues all along that have demonstrated

> themselves in strange behaviors over the years. Since he has been young I have

> been able to keep him out of particular situations or just overlook it until

the

> unwanted behavior goes away. However he now has a problem with putting his

hands

> in his pants every 5-10 min. He is doing it because he does not like the way

his

> penis feels when it points down. He likes to keep it pointed up. This has

become

> a real problem not only because of sanitary reasons but also the social

stigma.

> People outside of the home look at him strangely and famly members are getting

> tired of it as well. I understand that he does not do it to be gross but only

> because of his sensory issues, but I have no idea how to help him to

understand

> why its not ok. I have explained to him that he needs to do it in private and

to

> always wash his hands, and that others do not want to see that, etc.... But

> because of his AS, he just doesn't get it and tells me he just can't help it.

> He is so unaware of how his behavior affects the way others treat him. I have

> tried tighter underwear,different pants, pants with pockets, but nothing seems

> to make a difference. Any suggestions?

> Thanks

> Stephaie

>

[Guest guest]



If you solve this, let me know. My son is still adjusting himself in public at 14. More subtle, twisting of body, legs, etc with hand on outside of pants, but it is pretty obvious what he is doing.

It makes me chuckle thinking about the social story the school wrote for him in 3rd or 4th grade about this. They wrote the story, then the entire IEP team sat around and passed it like a hot potato to each other because everyone was afraid to read it to him because they were all too embarassed to read a social story to a kid that had the word penis in it. I told them I would be happy to read it to him myself, but finally someone else sheepishly volunteered. They all handled it like some giant taboo, to be spoken of in hushed words. Oh please, he is adjusting himself. Treat it like nose picking in public, what is the excitement people.

( ) Help for 6 yr old strange behaviorMy 6 yr old son has had sensory issues all along that have demonstratedthemselves in strange behaviors over the years. Since he has been young I havebeen able to keep him out of particular situations or just overlook it until theunwanted behavior goes away. However he now has a problem with putting his handsin his pants every 5-10 min. He is doing it because he does not like the way hispenis feels when it points down. He likes to keep it pointed up. This has becomea real problem not only because of sanitary reasons but also the social stigma.People outside of the home look at him strangely and famly members are gettingtired of it as well. I understand that he does not do it to be gross but onlybecause of his sensory issues, but I have no idea how to help him to understandwhy its not ok. I have explained to him that he needs to do it in private and toalways wash his hands, and that others do not want to see that, etc.... Butbecause of his AS, he just doesn't get it and tells me he just can't help it. He is so unaware of how his behavior affects the way others treat him. I havetried tighter underwear,different pants, pants with pockets, but nothing seemsto make a difference. Any suggestions?ThanksStephaie

[Guest guest]

i am not so sure it will fix itself...especially after reading all these posts...my son at 14 still picks his nose...sometime a little discreatly...sometimes not.

Now to those who have adult husbands who do this...do you tell him...that you know what he is doing and others probably do too? Or, that others might think something else? I tried everything when he was a baby..toddler...young boy. I told him, talked to him, told him it was disgusting, told him he would lose friends, told him i understood but if he needed to do this he need to go to the bathroom or somewhere private, told him to do it with a tissue, ignored it and finally gave up. Then he had a teacher who tried to break his habit...she became so annoying that he hated her and would do it on purpose to annoy her (LOL).

One thing I do notice...as he is getting older (14) he is doing it less. But he still does it. And he is still very very very fussy about his underwear and pants. All i can offer is prayers...patience and time.

Jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: Debra Balke <dlbalke@...> Sent: Fri, February 26, 2010 8:52:12 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Help for 6 yr old strange behavior

 If you solve this, let me know. My son is still adjusting himself in public at 14. More subtle, twisting of body, legs, etc with hand on outside of pants, but it is pretty obvious what he is doing.

It makes me chuckle thinking about the social story the school wrote for him in 3rd or 4th grade about this. They wrote the story, then the entire IEP team sat around and passed it like a hot potato to each other because everyone was afraid to read it to him because they were all too embarassed to read a social story to a kid that had the word penis in it. I told them I would be happy to read it to him myself, but finally someone else sheepishly volunteered. They all handled it like some giant taboo, to be spoken of in hushed words. Oh please, he is adjusting himself. Treat it like nose picking in public, what is the excitement people.

( ) Help for 6 yr old strange behaviorMy 6 yr old son has had sensory issues all along that have demonstratedthemselves in strange behaviors over the years. Since he has been young I havebeen able to keep him out of particular situations or just overlook it until theunwanted behavior goes away. However he now has a problem with putting his handsin his pants every 5-10 min. He is doing it because he does not like the way hispenis feels when it points down. He likes to keep it pointed up. This has becomea real

problem not only because of sanitary reasons but also the social stigma.People outside of the home look at him strangely and famly members are gettingtired of it as well. I understand that he does not do it to be gross but onlybecause of his sensory issues, but I have no idea how to help him to understandwhy its not ok. I have explained to him that he needs to do it in private and toalways wash his hands, and that others do not want to see that, etc.... Butbecause of his AS, he just doesn't get it and tells me he just can't help it. He is so unaware of how his behavior affects the way others treat him. I havetried tighter underwear,different pants, pants with pockets, but nothing seemsto make a difference. Any suggestions?ThanksStephaie

[Guest guest]

Another thing to mention...we have a femal student...she starts scratching her self and sometimes heads towards her privates...both ...when we see this we usally call her name and just shake our heads and she stops...she doesn't even realize what she is doing in public.

Another thing she does...she sneezes alot ...into her hands and then wipes them on her pants...and then continues working. With all the germs...we have to tell her to either go wash her hands or use a hand sanitizer. Most students are really turned off to this habit but she doesn't know this or even care. She has no desire for friends.

Jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: kelliangelini <kelliangelini@...> Sent: Fri, February 26, 2010 8:28:55 AMSubject: ( ) Re: Help for 6 yr old strange behavior

My 10 yr old still grabs himself when it is nervous...I initially tried to not bring attention to it hoping it would pass, but he has to understand that it is not acceptable, esp. outside the house. Now I can just point or nod and he moves his hands.Good luck!Kelli >> My 6 yr old son has had sensory issues all along that have demonstrated> themselves in strange behaviors over the years. Since he has been young I have> been able to keep him out of particular situations or just overlook it until the> unwanted behavior goes away. However he now has a problem with putting his hands> in his pants every 5-10 min. He is doing it because he does not like the way his>

penis feels when it points down. He likes to keep it pointed up. This has become> a real problem not only because of sanitary reasons but also the social stigma.> People outside of the home look at him strangely and famly members are getting> tired of it as well. I understand that he does not do it to be gross but only> because of his sensory issues, but I have no idea how to help him to understand> why its not ok. I have explained to him that he needs to do it in private and to> always wash his hands, and that others do not want to see that, etc.... But> because of his AS, he just doesn't get it and tells me he just can't help it. > He is so unaware of how his behavior affects the way others treat him. I have> tried tighter underwear,different pants, pants with pockets, but nothing seems> to make a difference. Any suggestions?> Thanks>

Stephaie>

[Guest guest]

My son is 7 and has gotten better with picking his nose and eating them. We would tell him it is gross and he would laugh. So we started saying how gross it was and running into a bedroom and closing the door. He would run after us and want to come in. We said no, not if you're picking your nose. He didn't like the rejection and stopped doing it so much. I also carry tissues and have tissue boxes in every room so when I catch him, I give him a tissue and wipe his finger before it reaches his mouth. He now reaches for the tissue himself. I only catch him doing it once in a while now, usually when watching TV, so it has gotten better. We had a kid in my school class that picked his nose and several years later, we still remember him for it:)Our current problem is the underwear and pants every

morning. I do cut the tags out of his clothes. I've tried so many different brands of underwear which seem to work for a few weeks, then they bother him again. He only wears sweat pants because they seem to be more comfortable. He's currently having meltdowns in the mornings because he had a growth spurt and the pants, I think, our pulling down the back of his underwear. We go through changing him into 3 or 4 pairs of pants and underwear every morning. I can't seem to buy any new sweats in the stores now as they only have summer clothes, so I plan to try the thrift stores. My husband thinks that he's doing it for attention and gets made at him and at me for catering to him, but I know otherwise. Does anyone else have this problem, and if so, what have you found to work? My son and I are both going crazy over this.Gen

From: Geo Dude <geo.dudeymail (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) Help for 6 yr old strange behavior , "ssminnow1ymail (DOT) com" <ssminnow1@sbcglobal .net>Date: Thursday, February 25, 2010, 7:39 AM

I think his behavior will fix itself the first time he gets made fun of for having his hands down his pants at school. it is social learning. geo- ( ) Help for 6 yr old strange behaviorMy 6 yr old son has had sensory issues all along that have demonstratedthemselves in strange behaviors over the years. Since he has been young I havebeen able to keep him out of particular situations or just overlook it until theunwanted behavior goes away. However he now has a problem with putting his handsin his pants every 5-10 min. He is doing it because he does not like the way hispenis feels when it points down. He likes to keep it pointed up. This has becomea

real

problem not only because of sanitary reasons but also the social stigma.People outside of the home look at him strangely and famly members are gettingtired of it as well. I understand that he does not do it to be gross but onlybecause of his sensory issues, but I have no idea how to help him to understandwhy its not ok. I have explained to him that he needs to do it in private and toalways wash his hands, and that others do not want to see that, etc.... Butbecause of his AS, he just doesn't get it and tells me he just can't help it. He is so unaware of how his behavior affects the way others treat him. I havetried tighter underwear,different pants, pants with pockets, but nothing seemsto make a difference. Any suggestions?ThanksStephaie

[Guest guest]

I recommend Hanes brand comfort band (very important!) boxer brief underwear. All the males in my family swear by them. For a while, I actually shelled out for Hanna Andersson underwear (very $$$$), but the Hanes are softer and nicer.For the sweatpants, I have found that if they have unattached pocket bags on the inside, kiddo will reject them. You can either stitch them down, or cut them out, and stitch up the pocket.Walmart does a really soft long sleeved and short sleeved t-shirt that is super cheap. I believe the house brand is "Faded Glory". Much softer than Target's Cherokee line.If your kid has a problem with socks, I recommend looking at what the girl's selection has to offer. Girls socks, on the whole, seem to be made with more softness in mind. I also buy him Smartwool socks at a discount site (Sierra Trading Post), as they are very easy to pull on, soft, and have an unobtrusive toe seam.DS and I have had ongoing trauma with shoes. He likes slip-ons, but he wishes to wear them so loose that he can't walk or run with

ease. So, I bought some very flexible Pumas (more damed $$$), and he seems to tolerate them, hated tongue and all. They are pricey, but at least I'm not wasting money buying shoes he'll wear three times then reject.We still haven't conquered the snow boot dilemma. If anybody has any suggestions there, I'd love to hear them.Staying sane 4 minutes at a time, R.Mom to AspieDude (10)Our current problem is the underwear and pants every morning. I do cut the tags out of his clothes. I've tried so many different brands of underwear which seem to work for a few weeks, then they bother him again. He only wears sweat pants because they seem to be more comfortable. He's currently having meltdowns in the mornings because he had a growth spurt and the pants, I think, our pulling down the back of his underwear. We go through changing him into 3 or 4 pairs of pants and underwear every morning. I can't seem to buy any new sweats in the stores now as they only have summer clothes, so I plan to try the thrift stores. My husband thinks that he's doing it for attention

and gets made at him and at me for catering to him, but I know otherwise. Does anyone else have this problem, and if so, what have you found to work? My son and I are both going crazy over this.

[Guest guest]

My daughter who has just spd does the change her clothes thing all the time. It

drives me crazy especially because she has like two outfits that are totally

acceptable. I will get her into nicer looking clothes. Not dress clothes mind

you, just newer clothes, and she will be fine at first, but a half hour later,

she goes and digs her others out of the laundry and tries to put them on. Now

obviously they have to be washed at some point so it gets really frustrating and

we end up fighting over it. I have spent so much money on clothes trying to

find something similar that will be acceptable for her. Unfortunately my mom

got the favorites at a yardsale so I can't just go back and buy doubles.

Another problem is the favorites are boys clothes and she is only three with

short hair, so I would rather she wore something else to say church so people

don't think she's a boy. At home I don't care.

>

>

> From: Geo Dude <geo.dudeymail (DOT) com>

> Subject: Re: ( ) Help for 6 yr old strange behavior

> , " ssminnow1ymail (DOT) com "

<ssminnow1@sbcglobal .net>

> Date: Thursday, February 25, 2010, 7:39 AM

>

>

>  

>

> I think his behavior will fix itself the first time he gets made fun of for

having his hands down his pants at school. it is social learning. geo

>

> - ( ) Help for 6 yr old strange behavior

>

> My 6 yr old son has had sensory issues all along that have demonstrated

> themselves in strange behaviors over the years. Since he has been young I have

> been able to keep him out of particular situations or just overlook it until

the

> unwanted behavior goes away. However he now has a problem with putting his

hands

> in his pants every 5-10 min. He is doing it because he does not like the way

his

> penis feels when it points down. He likes to keep it pointed up. This has

become

> a real

> problem not only because of sanitary reasons but also the social stigma.

> People outside of the home look at him strangely and famly members are getting

> tired of it as well. I understand that he does not do it to be gross but only

> because of his sensory issues, but I have no idea how to help him to

understand

> why its not ok. I have explained to him that he needs to do it in private and

to

> always wash his hands, and that others do not want to see that, etc.... But

> because of his AS, he just doesn't get it and tells me he just can't help it.

> He is so unaware of how his behavior affects the way others treat him. I have

> tried tighter underwear,different pants, pants with pockets, but nothing seems

> to make a difference. Any suggestions?

> Thanks

> Stephaie

>

[Guest guest]

Gen....your 7 year old sounds a lot like my son....your son is sensitve to all the fabrics, the feel of them against his skin...etc. I can't tell you how many socks and underwear that I bought that he would not wear. The only thing I can say...if you find a pair or type...buy multiples. Hang in there...it gets a little better. I am down to a few pairs of underwear...can't find them anymore and he is getting bigger now ...going into mens...he likes soft cotton woven boxers...and it also depends on the elastic. My son's pants are big...of course they fall down some...but it isn't so much because the boys wear them that way...he just doesn't like anything tight. Shirts..no buttons, no collars, no long sleeves....It is hard...beleive me I know.

He was also fussy about what he would and would not eat. But he found a "big brother" who he thinks is cool...and has learned to try some different foods.

As far as the nose...just ignore him. We tried that saying how gross or moving away from him....but he thought it was a game...and that it was FUNNY! He is 14 now and doesn't do it as much...he wants friends so badly.

I think we just have to do the best we can. Hang in there.

Jan

"Faith, hope and Love and the greatest of these is Love"

From: jm.smoldt <jm.smoldt@...> Sent: Sat, March 6, 2010 9:52:16 AMSubject: ( ) Re: Help for 6 yr old strange behavior

My daughter who has just spd does the change her clothes thing all the time. It drives me crazy especially because she has like two outfits that are totally acceptable. I will get her into nicer looking clothes. Not dress clothes mind you, just newer clothes, and she will be fine at first, but a half hour later, she goes and digs her others out of the laundry and tries to put them on. Now obviously they have to be washed at some point so it gets really frustrating and we end up fighting over it. I have spent so much money on clothes trying to find something similar that will be acceptable for her. Unfortunately my mom got the favorites at a yardsale so I can't just go back and buy doubles. Another problem is the favorites are boys clothes and she is only three with short hair, so I would rather she wore something else to say church so people don't think she's a boy. At home I don't care.> > > From: Geo Dude <geo.dudeymail (DOT) com>> Subject: Re: ( ) Help for 6 yr old strange behavior> , "ssminnow1ymail (DOT) com" <ssminnow1@sbcgloba l .net>> Date: Thursday, February 25, 2010, 7:39 AM> > > Â > > I think his behavior will fix itself the first time he gets made fun of for having his hands down his pants at school. it is social learning. geo>

> - ( ) Help for 6 yr old strange behavior> > My 6 yr old son has had sensory issues all along that have demonstrated> themselves in strange behaviors over the years. Since he has been young I have> been able to keep him out of particular situations or just overlook it until the> unwanted behavior goes away. However he now has a problem with putting his hands> in his pants every 5-10 min. He is doing it because he does not like the way his> penis feels when it points down. He likes to keep it pointed up. This has become> a real> problem not only because of sanitary reasons but also the social stigma.> People outside of the home look at him strangely and

famly members are getting> tired of it as well. I understand that he does not do it to be gross but only> because of his sensory issues, but I have no idea how to help him to understand> why its not ok. I have explained to him that he needs to do it in private and to> always wash his hands, and that others do not want to see that, etc.... But> because of his AS, he just doesn't get it and tells me he just can't help it. > He is so unaware of how his behavior affects the way others treat him. I have> tried tighter underwear,different pants, pants with pockets, but nothing seems> to make a difference. Any suggestions?> Thanks> Stephaie>

[Guest guest]

Clothing has always been an issue for my now 13 yo aspie

daughter. It was very hard. On her feet, she will ONLY wear crocs

with no socks, when she was younger, she would wear only double knit coulottes

but not just any, they had to have a fold over waist band and could not have

any (imperceptible to me) scratchyness and her tops were all soft tee that I purchased

online at Hannah or gap. today however, these soft tees can be

purchased at target, so not near as expensive. Someone here must have a

link to an online clothier with label free/rub free clothes. I purchased a

lot of clothes she never wore. We are going to ot with the hopes of

learning how to wear non-croc shoes. Good luck.

melody

[Guest guest]

My dd has this problem too and I ended up going through her wardrobe ditching anything she couldn't/wouldn't wear. This meant anything that was left she felt great in (she actually told me at age 4 "Mummy that top is soooo scratchy it will make me so naughty I can't sit still and eat my breakfast") and suddenly we lost most of the resistance to dressing herself.

Since then I have discovered the things to avoid (obviously girls clothes but might help give ideas for boys) iron on transfer pictures (they feel cold on the underside), heavy seams and stitching (all denims and jeans are out), smocking (too scratchy), sequins (too cold and scratchy) zips and buttons on trousers (at now almost 9 she still can't manage these in time to use the toilet), cold linings in coats, heavy elasticated cuffs on sleeves and trousers. For a long time she couldn't cope with tights - she wore only socks all year round for years and the seams had to be worn on the outside so I bought plain so that with shoes on it was impossible to tell. Fleece jumpers/cardigans instead of knitted woollens, soft cotton t-shirts, long sleeved t-shirts and trousers - I often raid the school gym trousers at Asda (Walmart in the USA), sports socks inside out are sometimes a good option, crocs for shoes or trainers with velcro fastenings so they can alter the tightness and put them on easier - we are a million miles off doing up laces. I also discovered noisy fabrics are not good - raincoats/cagouls/some anorak materials that make noises when rubbed as you walk eg the sleeve rubbing on the torso.

If it helps as a ray of distant sunshine, DD has got MUCH better as she has gotten older. At 8 1/2 she has figured out for herself that if she really wants to wear a top/dress she likes if she wears a vest under it that is soft she copes ok. We found as she has become older that she cannot wear tights - often inside out for the seams - and I always get a large enough size they neither fall down but nor are so tight the material is pulled too taut for a good fit. Dungarees are out because of the fiddle when using the toilet. Hats are out so we buy coats with hoods on them.

Roll neck sweaters are out, as are tops/coats that need to zip up her neck to fasten. Gloves are better than mittens.

The perfect clothes for dd are really pyjamas (sweatshirt style not button up the front heavy cotton style) and she would live in them given the choice. Having only things in her drawers she could wear and put on herself overnight transformed one of the most difficult areas we had.

One other quick thought - for a long time, possibly even still - she could not figure out the correct way round for knickers and tights and vests to go. I always buy underwear with little bows on the front so she knows instantly which way it goes - no lace and no cute transfer images! Likewise with socks for a long time I bought the style with coloured heels and toes so they became a lot simpler to figure out. All labels in the neck are cut out but she uses the labels in tights, skirts and trousers to figure out which is front and back.

She also doesn't wear belts so I buy styles that do not rely on them to fasten it or to complete the outfit and without it it would look stupid. I guess for a boy braces/suspenders might work instead of a belt.

Sorry for waffling on for so long - it's strange how things just become a way of life!

Hope some of this helps and can be adapted for your son.

a

From: jennifer ruffing

Sent: Saturday, March 06, 2010 2:14 PM

Subject: ( ) Re: Help for 6 yr old strange behaviour

I recommend Hanes brand comfort band (very important!) boxer brief underwear. All the males in my family swear by them. For a while, I actually shelled out for Hanna Andersson underwear (very $$$$), but the Hanes are softer and nicer.

For the sweatpants, I have found that if they have unattached pocket bags on the inside, kiddo will reject them. You can either stitch them down, or cut them out, and stitch up the pocket.

Walmart does a really soft long sleeved and short sleeved t-shirt that is super cheap. I believe the house brand is "Faded Glory". Much softer than Target's Cherokee line.

If your kid has a problem with socks, I recommend looking at what the girl's selection has to offer. Girls socks, on the whole, seem to be made with more softness in mind. I also buy him Smartwool socks at a discount site (Sierra Trading Post), as they are very easy to pull on, soft, and have an unobtrusive toe seam.

DS and I have had ongoing trauma with shoes. He likes slip-ons, but he wishes to wear them so loose that he can't walk or run with ease. So, I bought some very flexible Pumas (more damed $$$), and he seems to tolerate them, hated tongue and all. They are pricey, but at least I'm not wasting money buying shoes he'll wear three times then reject.

We still haven't conquered the snow boot dilemma. If anybody has any suggestions there, I'd love to hear them.

Staying sane 4 minutes at a time,

R.

Mom to AspieDude (10)

Our current problem is the underwear and pants every morning. I do cut the tags out of his clothes. I've tried so many different brands of underwear which seem to work for a few weeks, then they bother him again. He only wears sweat pants because they seem to be more comfortable. He's currently having meltdowns in the mornings because he had a growth spurt and the pants, I think, our pulling down the back of his underwear. We go through changing him into 3 or 4 pairs of pants and underwear every morning. I can't seem to buy any new sweats in the stores now as they only have summer clothes, so I plan to try the thrift stores. My husband thinks that he's doing it for attention and gets made at him and at me for catering to him, but I know otherwise. Does anyone else have this problem, and if so, what have you found to work? My son and I are both going crazy over this.

[Guest guest]

My 11 yod has had issues with clothes since she was 4. Wears the same thing for

days, to bed and all. Refused to wear underwear. wears big baggy clothes. I

also buy several of the same thing when she likes something. Now she hates to

wear a bra and she really has to wear one. It is a constant struggle. She also

has OCD and GAD.

Nat

> >

> >

> > From: Geo Dude <geo.dudeymail (DOT) com>

> > Subject: Re: ( ) Help for 6 yr old strange behavior

> > , " ssminnow1ymail (DOT) com "

<ssminnow1@sbcglobal .net>

> > Date: Thursday, February 25, 2010, 7:39 AM

> >

> >

> >  

> >

> > I think his behavior will fix itself the first time he gets made fun of for

having his hands down his pants at school. it is social learning. geo

> >

> > - ( ) Help for 6 yr old strange behavior

> >

> > My 6 yr old son has had sensory issues all along that have demonstrated

> > themselves in strange behaviors over the years. Since he has been young I

have

> > been able to keep him out of particular situations or just overlook it until

the

> > unwanted behavior goes away. However he now has a problem with putting his

hands

> > in his pants every 5-10 min. He is doing it because he does not like the way

his

> > penis feels when it points down. He likes to keep it pointed up. This has

become

> > a real

> > problem not only because of sanitary reasons but also the social stigma.

> > People outside of the home look at him strangely and famly members are

getting

> > tired of it as well. I understand that he does not do it to be gross but

only

> > because of his sensory issues, but I have no idea how to help him to

understand

> > why its not ok. I have explained to him that he needs to do it in private

and to

> > always wash his hands, and that others do not want to see that, etc.... But

> > because of his AS, he just doesn't get it and tells me he just can't help

it.

> > He is so unaware of how his behavior affects the way others treat him. I

have

> > tried tighter underwear,different pants, pants with pockets, but nothing

seems

> > to make a difference. Any suggestions?

> > Thanks

> > Stephaie

> >

>

[Guest guest]

My dd is 10 and we started with the clothes issue around 3.  At 3 and 4 it wasnt such a big deal b/c shes not a morning person so frequently we were dressing her in bed half asleep for school so it was more weekends.  At 5 and 6 some socks a certain way were ok so we just fiddled with the socks every morning.  Then somewhere around 6 or 7 we were shoe shopping and at th etime it wasn't just socks, only certain shoes were ok (this was at her peak in feet sensory problems IMO), so like she really liked the bicycle shoe looking skechers, they couldnt be too bulky, couldnt have a bulky tongue, had to have a " u " shape at the heel not the opposite (hard to explain but if yuo look at the back of shoes you will see some have cutouts some dont) but had to be padded so it didnt slide, etc etc so it was a nightmare every time they didnt have the perfect shoe in her size or they changed styles on us/  I absolutely despised shoe shopping and probably did permanant damage to her feet b/c of it (she hated to give up shoes she liked so would rather where them too small and at times I didnt pay close enough attn b/c I just didnt want to go shoe shopping).  after about 5 stores over 2-3 days trying to find her shoes one time she had a fit over the socks and didnt want to wear any.  I thought she would certauinly realise sneakers felt much worse without socks so went with it.  much to my susprirse though she doesnt care about all the little bothersome things you feel when you dont wear socks so I havent fought it and she hasnt worn socks since.  About 2 years ago though, shortly after this incident, until today even, she mostly lives in crocs but wheres sneakers when she needs to and since the not forcing socks she is not near as picky in shoes or socks, ie her current sneakers I just got at walmart (she wears them so infrequently I dont get her good ones like th eother kids).  and we have found in the winter she likes 2 very opposite kinds of socks and will occasionally wear them (only of her chosing), they are very thick, bulky knit socks that I think are meant to be slipper socks, she can really only fit these in her crocs the other is the short no show type socks in a very thin material, usually a very cutesy pair I get from the $1 section at Target.  The girl down the street has socks and undies issues too and the ones she found that work are, again surprising to me, toe socks so she has to wear flip flops year round except PE days.

 

As for underwear my SIL mentioned one day that my niece just doesnt wear them.  HELLO! why bother if she has pants on, so I havent in years, with a dress, like to church she is required to wear underwear but anywhere else I dont even bother, its not lik eyou can see through her pants.  However I have tried about every brand short of Hannas, in the end, when she was younger I found she preferred the childrens place ones.  Then she went through a phase where she liked the silky ones (I really think it is 95% influence as she went through this phase after she cfound out thats all my niece would wear) and now it is the pricier underwear you buy by the piece at places like kohls or dept stores (b/c she found out thats all the neighbor girl will wear).

 

As for other clothes, she is picky on feel and look, no shirt can have gathering at bodice or arms (especially arms, this has been an issue as long as I can remember) and really she wont wear any of her nicer clothes except dresses.  so she wears plain cotton or jean shorts and in winter it is leggings or jeans.  mostly that is with a T shirt.  we did find her wanting to wear the same thing repetaedly.  I mean she would wear the shirt to bed (thats all she wears to bed but an improvement over completely naked) and then put on new pants in the morning so literallyu wear the shirt 24 straight hrs.  We have limited it to 24 hrs after she has tried to do it a whole week.  dh found she is better about changing the shirt if she is warned the night before that she will have to change it.

 

You can also buy seamless socks for sensory issues as well as diabetic (super smooth, no irritations ANYWHERE) online.  Stride Rites tend to have seam free socks as well (tried them, no difference over the novelties from target). 

On Sun, Mar 7, 2010 at 7:20 PM, <nforaker@...> wrote:

 

My 11 yod has had issues with clothes since she was 4. Wears the same thing for days, to bed and all. Refused to wear underwear. wears big baggy clothes. I also buy several of the same thing when she likes something. Now she hates to wear a bra and she really has to wear one. It is a constant struggle. She also has OCD and GAD.

Nat

> > > > > > From: Geo Dude <geo.dudeymail (DOT) com>> > Subject: Re: ( ) Help for 6 yr old strange behavior

> > , " ssminnow1ymail (DOT) com " <ssminnow1@sbcglobal .net>> > Date: Thursday, February 25, 2010, 7:39 AM> > > > > >   > >

> > I think his behavior will fix itself the first time he gets made fun of for having his hands down his pants at school. it is social learning. geo> > > > - ( ) Help for 6 yr old strange behavior> > > > My 6 yr old son has had sensory issues all along that have demonstrated

> > themselves in strange behaviors over the years. Since he has been young I have> > been able to keep him out of particular situations or just overlook it until the> > unwanted behavior goes away. However he now has a problem with putting his hands

> > in his pants every 5-10 min. He is doing it because he does not like the way his> > penis feels when it points down. He likes to keep it pointed up. This has become> > a real> > problem not only because of sanitary reasons but also the social stigma.

> > People outside of the home look at him strangely and famly members are getting> > tired of it as well. I understand that he does not do it to be gross but only> > because of his sensory issues, but I have no idea how to help him to understand

> > why its not ok. I have explained to him that he needs to do it in private and to> > always wash his hands, and that others do not want to see that, etc.... But> > because of his AS, he just doesn't get it and tells me he just can't help it.

> > He is so unaware of how his behavior affects the way others treat him. I have> > tried tighter underwear,different pants, pants with pockets, but nothing seems> > to make a difference. Any suggestions?

> > Thanks> > Stephaie> >>

-- -mommy to Emma, Becca, , and Girl Scout cookies are coming!