Re: Where's my post

[Guest guest]

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--- Original Message ---

From: " marciawho_01 " <marcial7777@...>

Sent:Fri 2/5/10 3:52 pm

Subj:( ) Where's my post

I posted a email about my 12year old with Asperger's and having the police here

for his violent behaviors I could really use some feedback...

Marcia

[Guest guest]

Hi Marcia,

I'm so sorry you went through this! For those of us with Aspies who rage... it can be SO very terrifying. It's hard to explain to others, the abuse some of us must deal with. They just don't "get it". But as the parent, you shouldn't have to deal with it either, yet there you are struggling to get out of range.

I don't have any good answers, I wish I did. My son is 16 now and a weight lifter- they just keep getting bigger- and he is intimidating. But I don't back down. I'm not afraid of him (foolish me). WHen I realize he's losing control (he starts YELLING then SCREAMING at me), i say LOUDly, "I LOVe you but I will NOT let you hurt me... GO COOL off in your room!! He tries to goad me, and has been physical, but he knows the consequences (lock up), so he typically goes in his room and punches holes (drywall is a bargain at $5.00 a sheet ~ my face is priceless.. hehe)

If you don't have a case worker from the County.. I wonder why not? It is their job to set up a crisis plan for your family; which includes (among other things) predictable consequences for your child, in home counseling if needed, and contact info for crisis situations. Also, they can help with support for YOU. your son is 12 now... and he will only get bigger, you'll need to be prepared.. and he'll need to know ahead of time, the consequences. Having to call the police feels so defeating... Iknow, but you did the right thing. Maybe next time, let him TRY to make the call.. to whom ever, let the other person make the re-direct or let him leave a message. When you live with a volatile Aspie, you learn to use a LOT of diversion and redirect to diffuse them... "No" is such a HUGE trigger for them... it really needs to be avoided as much as possible, for your own

safety.

From: marciawho_01 <marcial7777@...>Subject: ( ) Where's my post Date: Friday, February 5, 2010, 2:49 PM

I posted a email about my 12year old with Asperger's and having the police here for his violent behaviors I could really use some feedback...Marcia------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Marcia, I'm sorry you are going thru this. I have a parent support

group once a month, you are not alone with this one. My daughter

was a rager, so it is not just boys, and she was stronger than me.

Having her go to her room to cool down helped a lot, avoiding her

helped a lot, and also the Buspar medication. Asperger's during

the teen years is all about anxiety and it builds, builds, builds,

till they rage about something I would find insignificant. Our

asperger's counselor told us this, and I found it to be true.

It is so upsetting when it occurs. I am personally perplexed as

to why the dr's are on the " abilify " bandwagon for irritability

of autism, it has metabolic side effects....hyperlipidemia (high

cholesteral and weight gain) and is also a risk for diabetes.

Buspar is an old anxiety med., cheap, not much in way of side

effects, and very effective for the rages in my daughter and

my friend's 18 yo daughter's rages. I was on abilify for depression,

I gained lots of weight, haven't lost it yet due to " advanced age "

(52) and am disabled so hard to do exercise, it raised my

cholesteral to 300 and my blood sugar also.

So guess this is too long of an email. But, time alone, and look

into getting something medication wise for anxiety might take

the rages down to being dealable. I feel very strongly about

the Buspar vs abilify. Obviously! I am a retired RN. I know

they like to get these new drugs out there and selling. And

I picked my battles.

Know there is hope. Mine is 21 and moving steadily toward better

and better socially and mood-wise. Not perfect, but that's OK.

Seems the middle school and high school years require vigilence

about school, and I think hindsight-wise, no battles over home

chores. They are sooo overwhelmed by their days at school.

Well, I've run on long enough. Tony Attwood's The Complete Guide

to Asperger's Syndrome is also a very straightforward paperback

book with guidance.

Jo

>

> I posted a email about my 12year old with Asperger's and having the police

here for his violent behaviors I could really use some feedback...

>

> Marcia

>