So sad

[Guest guest]

,

I'm so sad to see that this person did this. I've never had any one do anything like that in my guestbook but I know that if they did I would remove the message from the book. Here is a ((((hug)))) from me to you.

Please know that you are always in my thoughts.

Kristy http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Falls/4659/kristyspage.html

[Guest guest]

*** LANGUAGE WARNING***

I AM PISSED OFF ....

How fucking dare this stupid bitch woman do this to you? (and that was polite compared to what I am thinking of calling her.)

I am SO angry I want to go to New Zealand. IN FACT I KNOW AN Ambassador in NZ who works for children's rights who I might just phone. (And YES she is studying to be a lawyer!)

I just want to punch her ugly cold compassionless heatless cruel and inconsiderate face in until it is so far up her own butt she wont ever have to worry about sunscreen again.

If this is how I feel, I cannot imagine how you must feel . I hope you leave her message there so everyone can see how stupid and callus this silly cow is.

Anyhow *smiles sweetly* I have just written the stupid woman a letter. I am glad she made her email address public :-)

I tell you , no amount of Afrikaans will make up for all the backspacing I had to do to make that letter sendable. Don't know how you are managing to stay so calm about it ... I want to spam the bitch with line after line of

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 's every damn day with the subject heading "HEARTLESS BITCH"

*growls*

How dare she hurt one of us.... good thing she is not in Australia or I would sentence her to life with my relatives!

Love you - lots and lots and lots. You are one cool person, try not to let this pathetic excuse of a person affect you (says the woman who is so livid G just walked in and said "uh oh who did what?")...

*HUGS YOU TIGHT*

Will catch up with you soon hon and we can do lots of Afrikaans ....

Loads of love, truck loads of love to you!!!

*one more huge hug*

Aisha

[Guest guest]

Hey ,

I have to get my two cents in here. Just delete that heartless persons

message and concentrate on those of us who love and care for you.

(((((((HUGS))))))))) Rumor has it that , Nerys and Blue live in the chat

room and they like it when we join them. But be careful, they have a habit

of slapping people with a trout or two. Lots of Hugging and support going on

in there too (hint). Oh yeah, might even make you a treat if you bring

her a cup of coffee!

#4 is sending positive energy from MN- USA

*hugs*

#4

[Guest guest]

I am so sorry ... Those words are just not enough. Someone like that person is not needed in our society!! Some people can be so heartless. Many Many Gentle Hugs come your way. Remember we are here for you. The memorial site is very lovely. You did such a beutiful job on it. Please don't let a person with no heart upset you. I know it's easyer said then done. Again I am so sorry.

{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}

Helen

[Guest guest]

,

Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers now. This woman

was so cruel. Know that we love you, and that we are all with you.

*hugs*

wrote:

> I was having a day where I was feeling ok, hadnt shed a tear, and

> then I went to Zeke`s Memorial web site and checked his guestbook.

> This is what I found : Lee Braun - 11/27/00 06:31:50

> My Email:kaymart@...

> Are you on the Bone Marrow Registry?: no

> Do you know someone with Leukaemia?: no

>

> Comments:

> Dumb site. There's nothing.

>

>

>

> How can someome be so hurtful? I mean, i did nothng to them, I dont

> even know this person and here she is saying that Zeke`s site is dumb.

> It just hurts me so much. She would have seen Zekes page is a

> memorial, and he just passed away, she doesnt have a heart and must

> enjoy people so vulnerable. I hope no one else has been the brunt of

> something like this too.

>

> *sigh*

>

>

>

>

> The Being Sick Community

>

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> Photo Album, memorial page, members profiles, birthdays, locations,

> medical resources, counselling via email, and a whole bunch of free

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> what you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on

> to what you must do even, if it's a long way from here. Hold on to

> your life, even if it's easier to let go. " - Pueblo Prayer

[Guest guest]

I am so very very very sorry tht some one could be so terrible. We all think

that Zeke is special and the site is a beautiful memorial to him. PLEASE dn't

let some one's ignorance stop or interrupt your very important work.

Love and great big hugs,

[Guest guest]

I am so very very very sorry tht some one could be so terrible. We all think

that Zeke is special and the site is a beautiful memorial to him. PLEASE dn't

let some one's ignorance stop or interrupt your very important work.

Love and great big hugs,

[Guest guest]

Dear Gail,

I am so sorry to hear about 's problems. But even if she did not

finish sixth grade satisfactorily, couldn't she make up what she needed in

the summer when the stress of having other students in competition might be

absent? When I taught in California, I don't remember anyone who failed the

year ever repeating it the next year

- they went to summer school instead. But perhaps the school could make a

plan for her to make up at home what she has missed? Just a suggestion.

Jackie

[Guest guest]

Gail,

I'm so sorry for your grief...I understand the pain. One phrase that keeps

me going is: " God will find a way, when there seems to be no way. " I pray

that for you, Harold and . Sometimes the downturns are just a

readjustment to move us to a better answer. I hope this will be true for

you.

Greta

So sad

Harold and I met with the school today. Despite our efforts to give

more structure, she continues to do poorly. The addition of concerta,

just one week ago, had not made a significant impact on her level of

focusing

or her ability to be less scattered. As the same symptons are prevalent in

all her classes, the school is concerned that she may not pass 6th grade.

They also told us that her social skills are wayy behind and that other kids

are starting to feel sorry for her, rather than wanting to be her friend.

The school are questioning how to meet her needs and what, exactly those

needs are as nothing they do seems to make any difference.

's therapist and her pdoc were there also. The p-doc feels that

she

has " decompsensated " this year, but is not sure why. He described as

fragile and easily crushed.

My silent tears at one point turned to sobs. I am confused, sad and so

grief stricken as nothing has helped her this year. All agreed that she

should have a psychological and educational evaluation, but it may be weeks

before we can do that and the year is slipping by. I don't want her to

repeat 6th grade if at all possible! Mostly I am so sad for her b/c this

must be so overhwlemingly painful for her.

Of course we are following through with the evals and hoping that some

answers will be revealed. In the meantime, I'm looking for a therapist for

me!

I feel so empty and sad...

Gail in N'Awlins

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[Guest guest]

Gail,

I don't know what to say. This has been such a tough year for you and .

Whatever ends up being successful (I know you won't give up hope) will probably

end up being a real breakthrough for her and a lifesaver in the future as well.

The process of finding what works is a difficult one, though.

is lucky to have such a strong and loving advocate as you.

Take good care,

Dana in NC

[Guest guest]

Hi Gail in N'Awlins,

I am so sorry for you, Harold and . Perhaps stepping back and

looking at the situation objectively will help problem solve?? Do you

have a co-worker you can run some ideas past??

> Of course we are following through with the evals and hoping

that some answers will be revealed. In the meantime, I'm looking for

a therapist for me!

> I feel so empty and sad...

We are about to conclude our evaluation of Ziv's multiple learning

disabilities. She too is in grade 6. I hope that within the next few

weeks we will finally have an answer. Its a crime that kids like

and Ziv, who are such good people, are suffering academicaly, on top

of everything else.

Gail, you have to have someone to work this whole situation out

with!! You know that as well as i do! As social workers, we cant

always be problem solving on our own! We need someone to bounce ideas

off of and present some objective options.

Please prioritise YOURSELF!

Hugs, wendy, in canada

[Guest guest]

Hi Gail, it's so hard when we and our kids put forth so much effort, yet

seem to not be making any progress. I think we've all been there at one

time or another. It is such a bleak feeling to watch our kids suffer and

the list of meds and interventions yet to be tried dwindle. I know there is

an answer for but uncovering it is going to take some (more) time,

surely the last thing you feel you have at this point.

I certainly hope the evaluations give you and some new directions to

explore. Does have accomodations in place at school? Is it an option

for her to complete this year's work over the summer? I don't understand

what decompensation means in a child, that she's just not coping at the

level she was earlier, but the doctor doesn't know why?

In any case Gail, keep us posted, (((hugs))) and good luck in finding a

therapist. Good for you to recognize your own needs in the midst of

searching out ways to meet 's.

Kathy R in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

From: <GPesses@...>

> Harold and I met with the school today. Despite our efforts to give

> more structure, she continues to do poorly. The addition of

concerta,

> just one week ago, had not made a significant impact on her level of

focusing

> or her ability to be less scattered. As the same symptons are prevalent

in

> all her classes, the school is concerned that she may not pass 6th grade.

> They also told us that her social skills are wayy behind and that other

kids

> are starting to feel sorry for her, rather than wanting to be her friend.

> The school are questioning how to meet her needs and what, exactly those

> needs are as nothing they do seems to make any difference.

[Guest guest]

Hi , I've had a question that your post brought back to mind. If a child is having problems with organization and attention at school, and the school has been unable to effectively address this problem, then how can home-schooling solve these problems? I've noticed with Kellen that she is more likely to cooperate with others than with me, and many of us have noticed that our kids have their worse symptoms at home. If I tried to homeschool I think she would show *more* disorganization and inattention, OCD symptoms and so on, not less.

Kathy R in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

From: Conn

<snip>

I am starting to consider home-schooling him but I don't know if that would just be running away from the problem. I, too, am waiting for the school to do evaluations. I really don't know what else to do. Neither the school nor I have had any luck motivating him.

[Guest guest]

Gail - I hope somehow things can improve or get worked out with the

school. I'm having my own meeting with 's school this

afternoon - he's in 6th grade too. I called the meeting due to his

grades going down so much.

What are 's symptoms in class? Are all her grades failing?

brings practically all his classwork home, along with his

homework. I try and organize it all at home and in his notebook, but

then of course it doesn't get turned in usually. I think maybe he

does pay attention when the teacher is lecturing or when they are

working in groups (sometimes) as he'll remember some answers from

class. However, he does get distracted, he admits to this. But

getting him to work on it at home a lot of nights is also a battle

and we do sometimes have to quit.

I've posted before about 's social skills - no real friends,

or anything. The only kid who actually made a comment that was

picking on was also a " picked-on " kid himself, and he's no

longer in 's class.

Good luck with - surely the school can help out somehow?!

> Harold and I met with the school today. Despite our efforts to

give

> more structure, she continues to do poorly. The addition of

concerta,

> just one week ago, had not made a significant impact on her level

of focusing

> or her ability to be less scattered. As the same symptons are

prevalent in

> all her classes, the school is concerned that she may not pass 6th

grade.

> They also told us that her social skills are wayy behind and that

other kids

> are starting to feel sorry for her, rather than wanting to be her

friend.

> The school are questioning how to meet her needs and what, exactly

those

> needs are as nothing they do seems to make any difference.

>

> 's therapist and her pdoc were there also. The p-doc

feels that she

> has " decompsensated " this year, but is not sure why. He described

as

> fragile and easily crushed.

>

> My silent tears at one point turned to sobs. I am confused,

sad and so

> grief stricken as nothing has helped her this year. All agreed

that she

> should have a psychological and educational evaluation, but it may

be weeks

> before we can do that and the year is slipping by. I don't want

her to

> repeat 6th grade if at all possible! Mostly I am so sad for her

b/c this

> must be so overhwlemingly painful for her.

>

> Of course we are following through with the evals and hoping

that some

> answers will be revealed. In the meantime, I'm looking for a

therapist for

> me!

>

> I feel so empty and sad...

>

> Gail in N'Awlins

[Guest guest]

Hi Kathy:

You, of course, have an excellent point. Ian's therapist thinks the inattention is due to boredom in class. He wants the school to provide more challenging material for Ian. The school has made it pretty clear that they don't feel that is their responsibility. Dr. Telch thinks Ian should be able to show mastery of something and then move on. It's the reteaching and reviews of the standard classroom that Ian hates. Ian is also more likely to cooperate with others before me. In fact, at this point, we have big fights when we try to get him to do any schoolwork at home. I am just really frustrated with the school and really sad at the social problems Ian is having. I am so tired of teacher complaints - even if they are justified. I really can't imagine homeschooling Ian. I could provide more challenging material, but I doubt I could get him to produce any work demonstrating what he's learned. I wish our school district had a better talented and gifted program that involved the whole school day, not just a pull out class for 45 minutes 4 days a week. I'm hoping that we can come up with some creative solutions for his IEP. I really want him to stay in school. The educational diagnostician that's testing Ian is a former G & T teacher and seems to understand. I'm trying to be patient and hopeful that she has some tricks in her magic bag that can help!

in TX

Re: so sad

Hi , I've had a question that your post brought back to mind. If a child is having problems with organization and attention at school, and the school has been unable to effectively address this problem, then how can home-schooling solve these problems? I've noticed with Kellen that she is more likely to cooperate with others than with me, and many of us have noticed that our kids have their worse symptoms at home. If I tried to homeschool I think she would show *more* disorganization and inattention, OCD symptoms and so on, not less.

[Guest guest]

Here's something you may want to consider if you are even thinking about

homsechooling. I homeschool my oldest through an online school - Laurel

Springs. I'll give you the web address if you need it and are interested. I

really don't have to help him much because there are teachers he can call

and e-mail for help if he needs it. The students move at their own pace

through the material, which is web-based study for the most part (depending

on the grade). He has done very well with all his classes so far, including

Latin! I really didn't think he could learn a language at home, but he has.

Since he loves the computer he doesn't have too much trouble sitting there

doing his lessons. And he is a loner naturally, along with having social

problems, so he likes the peace and quiet and finishes his assignments quite

quickly. He is much, much improved since he left school a year and a half

ago - much less depressed - and is working on his social skills at his

20-hour-a-week job.

-karen-

>From: Conn <lmconn@...>

>Reply-

>

>Subject: Re: so sad

>Date: Thu, 08 Mar 2001 13:39:48 -0600

>

>Hi Kathy:

>You, of course, have an excellent point. Ian's therapist thinks the

>inattention is due to boredom in class. He wants the school to provide

>more challenging material for Ian. The school has made it pretty clear

>that they don't feel that is their responsibility. Dr. Telch thinks Ian

>should be able to show mastery of something and then move on. It's the

>reteaching and reviews of the standard classroom that Ian hates. Ian is

>also more likely to cooperate with others before me. In fact, at this

>point, we have big fights when we try to get him to do any schoolwork at

>home. I am just really frustrated with the school and really sad at the

>social problems Ian is having. I am so tired of teacher complaints - even

>if they are justified. I really can't imagine homeschooling Ian. I could

>provide more challenging material, but I doubt I could get him to produce

>any work demonstrating what he's learned. I wish our school district had a

>better talented and gifted program that involved the whole school day, not

>just a pull out class for 45 minutes 4 days a week. I'm hoping that we can

>come up with some creative solutions for his IEP. I really want him to

>stay in school. The educational diagnostician that's testing Ian is a

>former G & T teacher and seems to understand. I'm trying to be patient and

>hopeful that she has some tricks in her magic bag that can help!

> in TX

> Re: so sad

>

>

> Hi , I've had a question that your post brought back to mind. If a

>child is having problems with organization and attention at school, and the

>school has been unable to effectively address this problem, then how can

>home-schooling solve these problems? I've noticed with Kellen that she is

>more likely to cooperate with others than with me, and many of us have

>noticed that our kids have their worse symptoms at home. If I tried to

>homeschool I think she would show *more* disorganization and inattention,

>OCD symptoms and so on, not less.

>

_________________________________________________________________

Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com

[Guest guest]

:

Thanks for the response. I would like the web address. You can send it to me off-list. lmconn@...

in TX

Re: so sad

Here's something you may want to consider if you are even thinking about homsechooling. I homeschool my oldest through an online school - Laurel Springs. I'll give you the web address if you need it and are interested.

[Guest guest]

As the same symptons are prevalent in

> all her classes, the school is concerned that she may not pass 6th

grade.

I too am so very sorry to hear is deteriorating so badly this

year. While not your biggest concern here, having to repeat 6th

grade can only make her more fragile. Perhaps you could find out

from the school what the minimum is in order for her to pass, and

work towards that, as horrible a defeat as that must seem.

did nothing in all of 6th grade, and we are 2/3 thru 7th, and this

week her first week of class this year, and I am assured she will get

full credit. All subjects this year will be repeated at some point

before Regents testing I am told. I mean, honestly Gail, what is she

learning in 6th grade that she will ever need? Probably some math--

so work on that, that is what we did. I kept getting told over and

over that once is well, she will catch up--you need to design

some kind of IEP so that whatever work she is doing will be

sufficient.

> They also told us that her social skills are wayy behind and that

other kids

> are starting to feel sorry for her, rather than wanting to be her

friend.

The advice we were given with this was to have associate with

younger kids, even if they were 2 and 3 or more years behind. That

way she still had friends and a social life, and younger kids don't

require the kind of social skills 6th grade girls need to navigate.

I know, heartbreaking.

> The school are questioning how to meet her needs and what, exactly

those needs are as nothing they do seems to make any difference.

This is where they are not allowed to leave her back-- it is their

responsibility to find out what her educational problem is, and to

ensure she gets educated properly.

>

He described asfragile and easily crushed.

Of course she is. She has no idea either what is wrong, or what she

can do to get better.

In the meantime, I'm looking for a therapist for

me!

I feel so empty and sad...

I don't know how I would have made it thru the past few months

without my therapist. Part of what I have been learning to do is to

separate myself a bit from , emotionally distance myself. I

think we get very obsessed with our troubled children, and feel

guilty when we don't. My moods have been totally dependent on

whether she is having a good day or not, and I just can't do that

anymore. Actually, maybe having my moods cycle with hers is okay,

but not my sense of self? I got very lost for a while there, was

really believing I no longer had any reason to live. While is

the most important thing in your life, and always will be, you need

to be able to associate with the other parts of you that are

important too, your work, your religion, your friends.

Take care, and if there is anything I can do,please ask

Ellen

[Guest guest]

Hi Gail,

I just found your post and regretfully do not have any sage advice, just

want to send you my positive thoughts, {{{{{hugs}}}}}} and support.

I can relate to the pain you are experiencing with and for your daughter.

Sixth grade is such a tough time, socially and emotionally, and I'm sorry

that has to go through this.

I agree with others that if the school hasn't found the key to 's

difficulties yet, they need to keep trying, rather than dump on you, as I

know you are doing all you can. Is sixth grade in middle school in your

area or is it still part of elementary school? I remember my junior high

years as some of the toughest times of my life.

Keep us posted, Gail, and do something nice for yourself.

Take care,

Lesli, SFBay

[Guest guest]

> Hi Kathy:

> You, of course, have an excellent point. Ian's therapist thinks the

inattention is due to boredom in class. He wants the school to

provide more challenging material for Ian. The school has made it

pretty clear that they don't feel that is their responsibility.

:

This thread made me think of my own school experience and that of my

NT son. I was frequently bored at school but because we moved

frequently was never considered for G & T classes. My father introduced

me to photography and print-making which opened up an avenue of

creative expression. I was also befriended by the local librarian who

suggested numerous books for me to read. While it didn't make the

school day go any faster, it did give me something to look forward to

at home.

My NT son was fortunate to have an incredible third grade teacher who

noticed that he was done way before the other kids and that he had

many (perhaps obsessive :-) interests. She encouraged him to report

to the class on these topics. He was fascinated by the story of the

Titanic -- gave a talk to the class, and the teacher let them watch a

bit of " A Night to Remember " . On their next library day, the kids all

wanted books on the Titanic.

Perhaps the school would consider something like that for Ian. My

OCDer, OTOH, has a lot of trouble with social skills. One thing that

has worked for him is helping other kids with reading or math. It

makes him feel valued and distracts him from his obsessive thoughts.

FWIW, Jule

[Guest guest]

Hi Gail:

{{{{{{{{{{GAIL}}}}}}}}}}

I am so glad to hear that you are going to get help for your understandable

sadness and depression. It is amazing how much that can help during these

times when we feel like we are at the bottom of a pit, hit with a

muscle-paralyzing dart, and the end of the world is nigh.

It sounds like you have all the professionals on the same page that

needs help and things are tough for her right now. Sometimes our kids

mental health is just more important than their education. Can the school

provide some home hospital tutoring until you get her meds better adjusted

and have a better idea of all the challenges she is facing?

Please keep writing and let us know how your sadness is coming along. Once

you feel a bit better, these challenges will seem slightly less daunting

and you will be able to see many of the positives that are happening. In

our family, helping with Steve's recovery was a very long process, one

which is really a work in progress and will continue all our lives.

Sometimes this can seem agonizingly slow and painful. YOu are in my

thoughts as you struggle with this pain and hardship. Take care, aloha,

Kathy (h)

kathyh@...

At 05:29 PM 3/7/01 EST, you wrote:

> Harold and I met with the school today. Despite our efforts to give

> more structure, she continues to do poorly. The addition of concerta,

>just one week ago, had not made a significant impact on her level of

focusing

>or her ability to be less scattered. As the same symptons are prevalent in

>all her classes, the school is concerned that she may not pass 6th grade.

>They also told us that her social skills are wayy behind and that other kids

>are starting to feel sorry for her, rather than wanting to be her friend.

>The school are questioning how to meet her needs and what, exactly those

>needs are as nothing they do seems to make any difference.

>

> 's therapist and her pdoc were there also. The p-doc feels that

she

>has " decompsensated " this year, but is not sure why. He described as

>fragile and easily crushed.

>

> My silent tears at one point turned to sobs. I am confused, sad and so

>grief stricken as nothing has helped her this year. All agreed that she

>should have a psychological and educational evaluation, but it may be weeks

>before we can do that and the year is slipping by. I don't want her to

>repeat 6th grade if at all possible! Mostly I am so sad for her b/c this

>must be so overhwlemingly painful for her.

>

> Of course we are following through with the evals and hoping that some

>answers will be revealed. In the meantime, I'm looking for a therapist for

>me!

>

> I feel so empty and sad...

>

>Gail in N'Awlins

[Guest guest]

That is so sad that they have to talk like that ya know. I do hope that

it don't turn out like the other times ya know.

Cassie

Pattie Curran wrote:

> The weather has been nice and the boys are outplaying, riding bikes and in

> SHORTS! And you know what that brings...scrapes and falls. had his

> first knee scrape of the season. I cleaned it with antibacterial

> wash, put

> antibacterial ointment on it and a bandage--one of those big knee

> sized ones.

> So they start playing and the conversation goes like this--it breaks my

> heart.

>

>

>

> : I had cellulitis two times last summer. Each time I scraped my

> knee. I wonder if this will turn into cellulitis?

>

>

>

> ph: I don't know. I had cellulitis once last summer. Remember

> when I

> was in the hospital?

>

>

>

> : Yeah.

>

>

>

> ph: What's a cellulitis look like anyway?

>

>

>

> : I don't know, but I hope my knee doesn't get it.

>

>

>

> I then say, , your knee probably won't develop cellulitis.

>

>

>

> says: Yeah but the two times I scraped my knee last year I got it.

>

>

>

> So sad. The other night at the dinner table was saying how he

> can't

> wait until his brothers go to camp 'cause then he'll have alone time.

> So we

> talked about how he was alone for 2 ½ years before the next child came

> along. And ph says, " OH! I was alone with you once mom!

> Remember last

> year when I was in the hospital for my cellulitis!? I got to spend

> several

> days with you alone then, remember? "

>

>

>

> Can you hear my heart breaking!?

>

>

>

>

>

> Peace Be With You,

>

> ~Pattie~

>

> Piedmont Triad, NC

>

> Mom to , age 12 & healthy, , age 9, Shwachman-Diamond Syndrome

> and ph, age 8, Shwachman-Diamond Syndrome

>

> Our family website: www.shwachman.50megs.com

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I noticed more hand shacking with him also today...why is that? Is that a tick

he has always done it it like he cant express his feelings and will just shake

his hands when excited. But he spoke at a very early age and communicates well

other than socially. Socially he just stares at people even off medication...I

am sooo torn.....he just came in here and shook his hands and gave me the

biggest hug. He has never done that...now I want to cry.......

[Guest guest]

It sounds like you are describing "hand flapping", which is something people with autism can be known to do.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) So sad

I noticed more hand shacking with him also today...why is that? Is that a tick he has always done it it like he cant express his feelings and will just shake his hands when excited. But he spoke at a very early age and communicates well other than socially. Socially he just stares at people even off medication...I am sooo torn.....he just came in here and shook his hands and gave me the biggest hug. He has never done that...now I want to cry.......