Re: Re: Does your child do well in school, but not in the...

[Guest guest]

YES! This is EXACTLY it! They aren't so obvious that everyone would know that there is a "problem" (note the quotes) but they aren't so "normal" so they "fit in" with the rest of the peers! Damned if we do, damned if we don't! I understand this myself. To anyone looking at me, I appear "normal" but then they don't see the horrible anxieties when even a small part of my routine changes and I am caught off-guard, or the awkwardness I feel when standing with MY "peers" outside waiting for our son to come out of school. I see this with the boys too...poor B. doesn't know what to do with himself when he is around his class, so he goofs off (like I always do) to try to fit in or just to cover how nervous he feels. J. has a problem being understood (speech is really underdeveloped) so he gets frustrated when people and other kids can't understand him. Yeah, it isn't easy being Aspie. I think there should be a bumper sticker saying just that.

In a message dated 10/22/2010 5:44:31 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, southardengineering@... writes:

Bridget,

Like a parent really wants to put her son or daughter into a special class, or have an aide, etc.... Its those parents who demand that their kids be exempt from PE that are ruining it for everyone. Now nothing from a parent counts. The last thing I would want would be to have to go up to the school and ask for help. I think this is how most people are. So yeah I don't get the skeptism either. But this is the curse of being an Aspie. If you were full blown autistic than people would understand but then again we wouldn't really want that would we. There is a girl next door to us that makes Caleb nervous. So often when she comes over he blurts out hurtful things. I tried to explain to her once but she doesn't understand. Heck its hard for me to understand sometimes when my kid says, "I don't want her to be on my team because I don't love her". I mean who says that. Well an anxious aspie says that. No reserve. Because he appears normal for the most part it is taken wrongly. Instead of that is the anxious kid who is frightened, its the rude kid who is perceived.

The PE teacher this year had to ask the 1st grade teacher again which kid was the Aspie cause he couldn't tell. On one hand its great because it probably means my child is not refusing to participate which is what we figured would happen. But I know to the trained eye a professional would see oral behaviors, nervousness, slow to learn particular skill coordinations, etc...

From: bridget <beanniferj@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Does your child do well in school, but not in the Community? Date: Friday, October 22, 2010, 2:15 PM

My son just went through the process of trying to qualify for preschool services at our school district, which were denied. While nobody was blaming me for anything, I did sense a certain skepticism from the school district psychologist. The implication was that there were a lot more concerns revealed in my parent questionnaires than she saw firsthand (gee, that couldn't be because she has spent a grand total of 2 hours with him and I live with my son!). My son's developmental therapist forwarded me an email conversation they had in which the school psych asked if she had witnessed any of the social problems or if it was all based on "the mother's report". Fortunately, the developmental therapist has worked with my son in peer situations, so she was able to affirm that the concerns in report were based on her firsthand observations, not my accounts - which apparently don't count for much. It's definitely frustrating to have people doubt you when you are trying so hard to help your child in any way you can. Sorry to hear you have been dealing with that at your son's school.Bridget>> Seems that many parents are being blamed for their child's issues when they> do "well" in school, but not in the community. Just because the proper> environment, with the right supports are in place and positive results are> achieved - does NOT mean the illness, issues etc do not exist for the child.> > > In my case, the school has blamed me (personally at meetings, documented it> in FBA reports, and in front of my advocates at IEP meetings) They have even> gone so far as filing 2 complaints 51A's with DCF (Dept of Children and> Fanilies, formely DSS) accusing me "being the one with the mental illness,> fabricating my son's issues and causing his hospitalization". All of which> is untrue. We have tons, and always have had wraoparound supports,> services, therapies etc and I am the parent who advocates for everything. > > Is anyone else dealing with this parent blame?> > Denel> Blessed Mom to 5.10 year old Zachary > Mood Disorder - NOS, Sensory Integration, PDD-NOS, (awaiting confirmation on> Aspergers due to age)> (R/O Bipolar, ODD, ADHD)>

[Guest guest]

I honestly question what the school means by, " doing well in school. " Do they actually mean your child is doing the work and participating in a meaningful way during instruction and with peers? Or, do they mean we've stifled your child so that he knows to only respond when we say, otherwise we turn a blind eye to anything else your child does?  Unless  you're doing observations, asking your child about what's happening at school and following your child's test scores you may not know what's really happening in school.

On Fri, Oct 22, 2010 at 6:11 PM, <kristieannesmama@...> wrote:

 

YES! This is EXACTLY it! They aren't so obvious that everyone would know that there is a " problem " (note the quotes) but they aren't so " normal " so they " fit in " with the rest of the peers! Damned if we do, damned if we don't! I understand this myself. To anyone looking at me, I appear " normal " but then they don't see the horrible anxieties when even a small part of my routine changes and I am caught off-guard, or the awkwardness I feel when standing with MY " peers " outside waiting for our son to come out of school. I see this with the boys too...poor B. doesn't know what to do with himself when he is around his class, so he goofs off (like I always do) to try to fit in or just to cover how nervous he feels. J. has a problem being understood (speech is really underdeveloped) so he gets frustrated when people and other kids can't understand him. Yeah, it isn't easy being Aspie. I think there should be a bumper sticker saying just that.

 

In a message dated 10/22/2010 5:44:31 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, southardengineering@... writes:

 

Bridget,

 

Like a parent really wants to put her son or daughter into a special class, or have an aide, etc....    Its those parents who demand that their kids be exempt from PE that are ruining it for everyone.   Now nothing from a parent counts.  The last thing I would want would be to have to go up to the school and ask for help.  I think this is how most people are.  So yeah I don't get the skeptism either.   But this is the curse of being an Aspie.  If you were full blown autistic than people would understand but then again we wouldn't really want that would we.  There is a girl next door to us that makes Caleb nervous.  So often when she comes over he blurts out hurtful things.  I tried to explain to her once but she doesn't understand.  Heck its hard for me to understand sometimes when my kid says, " I don't want her to be on my team because I don't love her " .  I mean who says that.  Well an anxious aspie says that.  No reserve.   Because he appears normal for the most part it is taken wrongly.  Instead of that is the anxious kid who is frightened, its the rude kid who is perceived.

 

The PE teacher this year had to ask the 1st grade teacher again which kid was the Aspie cause he couldn't tell.  On one hand its great because it probably means my child is not refusing to participate which is what we figured would happen.  But I know to the trained eye a professional would see oral behaviors, nervousness, slow to learn particular skill coordinations, etc...

 

From: bridget <beanniferj@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Does your child do well in school, but not in the Community? Date: Friday, October 22, 2010, 2:15 PM

 

My son just went through the process of trying to qualify for preschool services at our school district, which were denied. While nobody was blaming me for anything, I did sense a certain skepticism from the school district psychologist. The implication was that there were a lot more concerns revealed in my parent questionnaires than she saw firsthand (gee, that couldn't be because she has spent a grand total of 2 hours with him and I live with my son!). My son's developmental therapist forwarded me an email conversation they had in which the school psych asked if she had witnessed any of the social problems or if it was all based on " the mother's report " . Fortunately, the developmental therapist has worked with my son in peer situations, so she was able to affirm that the concerns in report were based on her firsthand observations, not my accounts - which apparently don't count for much. It's definitely frustrating to have people doubt you when you are trying so hard to help your child in any way you can. Sorry to hear you have been dealing with that at your son's school.Bridget>> Seems that many parents are being blamed for their child's issues when they> do " well " in school, but not in the community. Just because the proper> environment, with the right supports are in place and positive results are> achieved - does NOT mean the illness, issues etc do not exist for the child.> > > In my case, the school has blamed me (personally at meetings, documented it> in FBA reports, and in front of my advocates at IEP meetings) They have even> gone so far as filing 2 complaints 51A's with DCF (Dept of Children and> Fanilies, formely DSS) accusing me " being the one with the mental illness,> fabricating my son's issues and causing his hospitalization " . All of which> is untrue. We have tons, and always have had wraoparound supports,> services, therapies etc and I am the parent who advocates for everything. > > Is anyone else dealing with this parent blame?> > Denel> Blessed Mom to 5.10 year old Zachary > Mood Disorder - NOS, Sensory Integration, PDD-NOS, (awaiting confirmation on> Aspergers due to age)> (R/O Bipolar, ODD, ADHD)>

[Guest guest]

When we ask our kids what is going on with school, they really don't give us any answers. J. will ramble on about stuff that even I can't understand most of the time, and B. will just give those 1-word answers that drive parents nuts. I DO have a great relationship with both teachers, though, and I keep informed through them on how both boys are doing. I email with B.'s teacher all the time and I talk to J.'s teacher in person all the time. I am thankful that the school is at least telling me about any problems that might have come up.

In a message dated 10/23/2010 11:01:44 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, doyourecycle@... writes:

I honestly question what the school means by, "doing well in school." Do they actually mean your child is doing the work and participating in a meaningful way during instruction and with peers? Or, do they mean we've stifled your child so that he knows to only respond when we say, otherwise we turn a blind eye to anything else your child does? Unless you're doing observations, asking your child about what's happening at school and following your child's test scores you may not know what's really happening in school.

On Fri, Oct 22, 2010 at 6:11 PM, <kristieannesmama@...> wrote:

YES! This is EXACTLY it! They aren't so obvious that everyone would know that there is a "problem" (note the quotes) but they aren't so "normal" so they "fit in" with the rest of the peers! Damned if we do, damned if we don't! I understand this myself. To anyone looking at me, I appear "normal" but then they don't see the horrible anxieties when even a small part of my routine changes and I am caught off-guard, or the awkwardness I feel when standing with MY "peers" outside waiting for our son to come out of school. I see this with the boys too...poor B. doesn't know what to do with himself when he is around his class, so he goofs off (like I always do) to try to fit in or just to cover how nervous he feels. J. has a problem being understood (speech is really underdeveloped) so he gets frustrated when people and other kids can't understand him. Yeah, it isn't easy being Aspie. I think there should be a bumper sticker saying just that.

In a message dated 10/22/2010 5:44:31 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, southardengineering@... writes:

Bridget,

Like a parent really wants to put her son or daughter into a special class, or have an aide, etc.... Its those parents who demand that their kids be exempt from PE that are ruining it for everyone. Now nothing from a parent counts. The last thing I would want would be to have to go up to the school and ask for help. I think this is how most people are. So yeah I don't get the skeptism either. But this is the curse of being an Aspie. If you were full blown autistic than people would understand but then again we wouldn't really want that would we. There is a girl next door to us that makes Caleb nervous. So often when she comes over he blurts out hurtful things. I tried to explain to her once but she doesn't understand. Heck its hard for me to understand sometimes when my kid says, "I don't want her to be on my team because I don't love her". I mean who says that. Well an anxious aspie says that. No reserve. Because he appears normal for the most part it is taken wrongly. Instead of that is the anxious kid who is frightened, its the rude kid who is perceived.

The PE teacher this year had to ask the 1st grade teacher again which kid was the Aspie cause he couldn't tell. On one hand its great because it probably means my child is not refusing to participate which is what we figured would happen. But I know to the trained eye a professional would see oral behaviors, nervousness, slow to learn particular skill coordinations, etc...

From: bridget <beanniferj@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Does your child do well in school, but not in the Community? Date: Friday, October 22, 2010, 2:15 PM

My son just went through the process of trying to qualify for preschool services at our school district, which were denied. While nobody was blaming me for anything, I did sense a certain skepticism from the school district psychologist. The implication was that there were a lot more concerns revealed in my parent questionnaires than she saw firsthand (gee, that couldn't be because she has spent a grand total of 2 hours with him and I live with my son!). My son's developmental therapist forwarded me an email conversation they had in which the school psych asked if she had witnessed any of the social problems or if it was all based on "the mother's report". Fortunately, the developmental therapist has worked with my son in peer situations, so she was able to affirm that the concerns in report were based on her firsthand observations, not my accounts - which apparently don't count for much. It's definitely frustrating to have people doubt you when you are trying so hard to help your child in any way you can. Sorry to hear you have been dealing with that at your son's school.Bridget>> Seems that many parents are being blamed for their child's issues when they> do "well" in school, but not in the community. Just because the proper> environment, with the right supports are in place and positive results are> achieved - does NOT mean the illness, issues etc do not exist for the child.> > > In my case, the school has blamed me (personally at meetings, documented it> in FBA reports, and in front of my advocates at IEP meetings) They have even> gone so far as filing 2 complaints 51A's with DCF (Dept of Children and> Fanilies, formely DSS) accusing me "being the one with the mental illness,> fabricating my son's issues and causing his hospitalization". All of which> is untrue. We have tons, and always have had wraoparound supports,> services, therapies etc and I am the parent who advocates for everything. > > Is anyone else dealing with this parent blame?> > Denel> Blessed Mom to 5.10 year old Zachary > Mood Disorder - NOS, Sensory Integration, PDD-NOS, (awaiting confirmation on> Aspergers due to age)> (R/O Bipolar, ODD, ADHD)>

[Guest guest]

,

You’re right on the mark on that

one. Zachary went into preschool knowing his numbers, colors, letters etc

and they do his progress notes saying “making effective progress”

Um NO, he’s not, he came INTO school with this intelligence (proven with

his NeuroPsych evals) but that’s how they are getting me with the FAPE “effective

progress”.

And you’re also right, they are

ignoring his behaviors (I have witnessed many altercations, aggressions and

attacks by him to teachers and other children) NONE of which were ever recorded

or reported as incidents. They LIE through their teeth at the IEP meeting

saying that after transition into the classroom he calms in minutes, never more

than 15. And what they didn’t know was that I stood outside the

door EACH time there was a transition issue and documented the time he joined

the class! Their mouths dropped. I even caught on video tape (not

video but the audio part, I had the camera hidden) so it caught the whole thing

where he was kicking her, her telling him to stop etc.. and then she lied it didn’t

happen.

Its crazy what they have done to me over

this child and you’re also right, they have him in FEAR to behave.. that

10 little Indians thing, shame if they don’t follow directions and all

thse kids want is to fit in

Denel

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of

Sent: Friday, October 22, 2010

9:05 PM

Subject: Re: ( )

Re: Does your child do well in school, but not in the...

I honestly question what the

school means by, " doing well in school. " Do they actually mean your

child is doing the work and participating in a meaningful way during

instruction and with peers? Or, do they mean we've stifled your child so that

he knows to only respond when we say, otherwise we turn a blind eye to anything

else your child does? Unless you're doing observations, asking your child about

what's happening at school and following your child's test scores you may not

know what's really happening in school.

On Fri, Oct 22, 2010 at 6:11 PM, <kristieannesmama@...> wrote:

YES!

This is EXACTLY it! They aren't so obvious that everyone would know that there

is a " problem " (note the quotes) but they aren't so

" normal " so they " fit in " with the rest of the peers!

Damned if we do, damned if we don't! I understand this myself. To anyone

looking at me, I appear " normal " but then they don't see the horrible

anxieties when even a small part of my routine changes and I am caught

off-guard, or the awkwardness I feel when standing with MY " peers "

outside waiting for our son to come out of school. I see this with the boys

too...poor B. doesn't know what to do with himself when he is around his class,

so he goofs off (like I always do) to try to fit in or just to cover how

nervous he feels. J. has a problem being understood (speech is really

underdeveloped) so he gets frustrated when people and other kids can't

understand him. Yeah, it isn't easy being Aspie. I think there should be a

bumper sticker saying just that.

In

a message dated 10/22/2010 5:44:31 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, southardengineering@...

writes:

Bridget,

Like a parent really wants to put her son or

daughter into a special class, or have an aide, etc.... Its those parents who

demand that their kids be exempt from PE that are ruining it for everyone.

Now nothing from a parent counts. The last thing I would want would be to

have to go up to the school and ask for help. I think this is how most people

are. So yeah I don't get the skeptism either. But this is the curse of being

an Aspie. If you were full blown autistic than people would understand but

then again we wouldn't really want that would we. There is a girl next door

to us that makes Caleb nervous. So often when she comes over he blurts out

hurtful things. I tried to explain to her once but she doesn't understand.

Heck its hard for me to understand sometimes when my kid says, " I don't

want her to be on my team because I don't love her " . I mean who says

that. Well an anxious aspie says that. No reserve. Because he appears normal

for the most part it is taken wrongly. Instead of that is the anxious kid who

is frightened, its the rude kid who is perceived.

The PE teacher this year had to ask the 1st grade

teacher again which kid was the Aspie cause he couldn't tell. On one hand its

great because it probably means my child is not refusing to participate which

is what we figured would happen. But I know to the trained eye a professional

would see oral behaviors, nervousness, slow to learn particular skill

coordinations, etc...

From: bridget <beanniferj@...>

Subject: ( ) Re: Does your child do well in school, but not in

the Community?

Date: Friday, October 22, 2010, 2:15 PM

My son just went

through the process of trying to qualify for preschool services at our school

district, which were denied. While nobody was blaming me for anything, I did

sense a certain skepticism from the school district psychologist. The

implication was that there were a lot more concerns revealed in my parent

questionnaires than she saw firsthand (gee, that couldn't be because she has

spent a grand total of 2 hours with him and I live with my son!). My son's

developmental therapist forwarded me an email conversation they had in which

the school psych asked if she had witnessed any of the social problems or if

it was all based on " the mother's report " . Fortunately, the

developmental therapist has worked with my son in peer situations, so she was

able to affirm that the concerns in report were based on her firsthand

observations, not my accounts - which apparently don't count for much. It's

definitely frustrating to have people doubt you when you are trying so hard

to help your child in any way you can. Sorry to hear you have been dealing

with that at your son's school.

Bridget

>

> Seems that many parents are being blamed for their child's issues when

they

> do " well " in school, but not in the community. Just because

the proper

> environment, with the right supports are in place and positive results

are

> achieved - does NOT mean the illness, issues etc do not exist for the

child.

>

>

> In my case, the school has blamed me (personally at meetings, documented

it

> in FBA reports, and in front of my advocates at IEP meetings) They have

even

> gone so far as filing 2 complaints 51A's with DCF (Dept of Children and

> Fanilies, formely DSS) accusing me " being the one with the mental

illness,

> fabricating my son's issues and causing his hospitalization " . All

of which

> is untrue. We have tons, and always have had wraoparound supports,

> services, therapies etc and I am the parent who advocates for

everything.

>

> Is anyone else dealing with this parent blame?

>

> Denel

> Blessed Mom to 5.10 year old Zachary

> Mood Disorder - NOS, Sensory Integration, PDD-NOS, (awaiting

confirmation on

> Aspergers due to age)

> (R/O Bipolar, ODD, ADHD)

>

[Guest guest]

See comments below:On Sat, Oct 23, 2010 at 5:05 PM, Blessed Mom <blessedmom1305@...> wrote:

 

,

 

You’re right on the mark on that

one.  Zachary went into preschool knowing his numbers, colors, letters etc

and they do his progress notes saying “making effective progress” 

Um NO, he’s not, he came INTO school with this intelligence (proven with

his NeuroPsych evals) but that’s how they are getting me with the FAPE “effective

progress”.

 

And you’re also right, they are

ignoring his behaviors (I have witnessed many altercations, aggressions and

attacks by him to teachers and other children) NONE of which were ever recorded

or reported as incidents. That's why if your son tells you about an incident you take notes of what he said occurred  or when YOU witness an incident write it up as an incident report and send it to the principal  and ask that a copy of your correspondence be placed in your child's education record. THEN, if you haven't done it already, do a FERPA request (Family Education Rights and Privacy Act) which lets parents get a complete copy of their child's education record. It should include emails, test scores, you name it about YOUR kid. They LIE through their teeth at the IEP meeting

saying that after transition into the classroom he calms in minutes, never more

than 15. You need to have YOUR documentation become part of the IEP record at this point.   And what they didn’t know was that I stood outside the

door EACH time there was a transition issue and documented the time he joined

the class!  Their mouths dropped.  I even caught on video tape (not

video but the audio part, I had the camera hidden) so it caught the whole thing

where he was kicking her, her telling him to stop etc.. and then she lied it didn’t

happen.

 

Its crazy what they have done to me over

this child and you’re also right, they have him in FEAR to behave.. that

10 little Indians thing, shame if they don’t follow directions and all

thse kids want is to fit in  Start talking to more special ed parents in your child's school so you all can compare notes and strategize!

 

Denel

 

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of

Sent: Friday, October 22, 2010

9:05 PM

Subject: Re: ( )

Re: Does your child do well in school, but not in the...

 

 

I honestly question what the

school means by, " doing well in school. " Do they actually mean your

child is doing the work and participating in a meaningful way during

instruction and with peers? Or, do they mean we've stifled your child so that

he knows to only respond when we say, otherwise we turn a blind eye to anything

else your child does? Unless you're doing observations, asking your child about

what's happening at school and following your child's test scores you may not

know what's really happening in school.

On Fri, Oct 22, 2010 at 6:11 PM, <kristieannesmama@...> wrote:

YES!

This is EXACTLY it! They aren't so obvious that everyone would know that there

is a " problem " (note the quotes) but they aren't so

" normal " so they " fit in " with the rest of the peers!

Damned if we do, damned if we don't! I understand this myself. To anyone

looking at me, I appear " normal " but then they don't see the horrible

anxieties when even a small part of my routine changes and I am caught

off-guard, or the awkwardness I feel when standing with MY " peers "

outside waiting for our son to come out of school. I see this with the boys

too...poor B. doesn't know what to do with himself when he is around his class,

so he goofs off (like I always do) to try to fit in or just to cover how

nervous he feels. J. has a problem being understood (speech is really

underdeveloped) so he gets frustrated when people and other kids can't

understand him. Yeah, it isn't easy being Aspie. I think there should be a

bumper sticker saying just that.

In

a message dated 10/22/2010 5:44:31 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, southardengineering@...

writes:

Bridget,

Like a parent really wants to put her son or

daughter into a special class, or have an aide, etc.... Its those parents who

demand that their kids be exempt from PE that are ruining it for everyone.

Now nothing from a parent counts. The last thing I would want would be to

have to go up to the school and ask for help. I think this is how most people

are. So yeah I don't get the skeptism either. But this is the curse of being

an Aspie. If you were full blown autistic than people would understand but

then again we wouldn't really want that would we. There is a girl next door

to us that makes Caleb nervous. So often when she comes over he blurts out

hurtful things. I tried to explain to her once but she doesn't understand.

Heck its hard for me to understand sometimes when my kid says, " I don't

want her to be on my team because I don't love her " . I mean who says

that. Well an anxious aspie says that. No reserve. Because he appears normal

for the most part it is taken wrongly. Instead of that is the anxious kid who

is frightened, its the rude kid who is perceived.

The PE teacher this year had to ask the 1st grade

teacher again which kid was the Aspie cause he couldn't tell. On one hand its

great because it probably means my child is not refusing to participate which

is what we figured would happen. But I know to the trained eye a professional

would see oral behaviors, nervousness, slow to learn particular skill

coordinations, etc...

From: bridget <beanniferj@...>

Subject: ( ) Re: Does your child do well in school, but not in

the Community?

Date: Friday, October 22, 2010, 2:15 PM

My son just went

through the process of trying to qualify for preschool services at our school

district, which were denied. While nobody was blaming me for anything, I did

sense a certain skepticism from the school district psychologist. The

implication was that there were a lot more concerns revealed in my parent

questionnaires than she saw firsthand (gee, that couldn't be because she has

spent a grand total of 2 hours with him and I live with my son!). My son's

developmental therapist forwarded me an email conversation they had in which

the school psych asked if she had witnessed any of the social problems or if

it was all based on " the mother's report " . Fortunately, the

developmental therapist has worked with my son in peer situations, so she was

able to affirm that the concerns in report were based on her firsthand

observations, not my accounts - which apparently don't count for much. It's

definitely frustrating to have people doubt you when you are trying so hard

to help your child in any way you can. Sorry to hear you have been dealing

with that at your son's school.

Bridget

>

> Seems that many parents are being blamed for their child's issues when

they

> do " well " in school, but not in the community. Just because

the proper

> environment, with the right supports are in place and positive results

are

> achieved - does NOT mean the illness, issues etc do not exist for the

child.

>

>

> In my case, the school has blamed me (personally at meetings, documented

it

> in FBA reports, and in front of my advocates at IEP meetings) They have

even

> gone so far as filing 2 complaints 51A's with DCF (Dept of Children and

> Fanilies, formely DSS) accusing me " being the one with the mental

illness,

> fabricating my son's issues and causing his hospitalization " . All

of which

> is untrue. We have tons, and always have had wraoparound supports,

> services, therapies etc and I am the parent who advocates for

everything.

>

> Is anyone else dealing with this parent blame?

>

> Denel

> Blessed Mom to 5.10 year old Zachary

> Mood Disorder - NOS, Sensory Integration, PDD-NOS, (awaiting

confirmation on

> Aspergers due to age)

> (R/O Bipolar, ODD, ADHD)

>

 

 

[Guest guest]

This is a communication problem if he can't tell you what has happened at school or relay information, share, participate in the conversation. We had many years of ST to work on these things.

Roxanna

"I

predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." - Jefferson

( ) Re: Does your child do well in school, but not in the Community?

Date: Friday, October 22, 2010, 2:15 PM

My son just went through the process of trying to qualify for preschool services at our school district, which were denied. While nobody was blaming me for anything, I did sense a certain skepticism from the school district psychologist. The implication was that there were a lot more concerns revealed in my parent questionnaires than she saw firsthand (gee, that couldn't be because she has spent a grand total of 2 hours with him and I live with my son!). My son's developmental therapist forwarded me an email conversation they had in which the school psych asked if she had witnessed any of the social problems or if it was all based on "the mother's report". Fortunately, the developmental therapist has worked with my son in peer situations, so she was able to affirm that the concerns in report were based on her firsthand observations, not my accounts - which apparently don't count for much. It's definitely frustrating to have people doubt you when you are trying so hard to help your child in any way you can. Sorry to hear you have been dealing with that at your son's school.

Bridget

>

> Seems that many parents are being blamed for their child's issues when they

> do "well" in school, but not in the community. Just because the proper

> environment, with the right supports are in place and positive results are

> achieved - does NOT mean the illness, issues etc do not exist for the child.

>

>

> In my case, the school has blamed me (personally at meetings, documented it

> in FBA reports, and in front of my advocates at IEP meetings) They have even

> gone so far as filing 2 complaints 51A's with DCF (Dept of Children and

> Fanilies, formely DSS) accusing me "being the one with the mental illness,

> fabricating my son's issues and causing his hospitalization". All of which

> is untrue. We have tons, and always have had wraoparound supports,

> services, therapies etc and I am the parent who advocates for everything.

>

> Is anyone else dealing with this parent blame?

>

> Denel

> Blessed Mom to 5.10 year old Zachary

> Mood Disorder - NOS, Sensory Integration, PDD-NOS, (awaiting confirmation on

> Aspergers due to age)

> (R/O Bipolar, ODD, ADHD)

>

[Guest guest]

Effective progress should be measured individually and clearly on the IEP. Not only will you list the goals, but you will list how you will measure progress. It can be tough to get real measurable progress if you don't have clear goals, test scores (data) and a defined way of measuring that progress (or lack of...) I mean to say, if he is advanced academically, then these kinds of goals will not be on his IEP.

Roxanna

"I

predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." - Jefferson

( ) Re: Does your child do well in school, but not in

the Community?

Date: Friday, October 22, 2010, 2:15 PM

My son just went

through the process of trying to qualify for preschool services at our school

district, which were denied. While nobody was blaming me for anything, I did

sense a certain skepticism from the school district psychologist. The

implication was that there were a lot more concerns revealed in my parent

questionnaires than she saw firsthand (gee, that couldn't be because she has

spent a grand total of 2 hours with him and I live with my son!). My son's

developmental therapist forwarded me an email conversation they had in which

the school psych asked if she had witnessed any of the social problems or if

it was all based on "the mother's report". Fortunately, the

developmental therapist has worked with my son in peer situations, so she was

able to affirm that the concerns in report were based on her firsthand

observations, not my accounts - which apparently don't count for much. It's

definitely frustrating to have people doubt you when you are trying so hard

to help your child in any way you can. Sorry to hear you have been dealing

with that at your son's school.

Bridget

>

> Seems that many parents are being blamed for their child's issues when

they

> do "well" in school, but not in the community. Just because

the proper

> environment, with the right supports are in place and positive results

are

> achieved - does NOT mean the illness, issues etc do not exist for the

child.

>

>

> In my case, the school has blamed me (personally at meetings, documented

it

> in FBA reports, and in front of my advocates at IEP meetings) They have

even

> gone so far as filing 2 complaints 51A's with DCF (Dept of Children and

> Fanilies, formely DSS) accusing me "being the one with the mental

illness,

> fabricating my son's issues and causing his hospitalization". All

of which

> is untrue. We have tons, and always have had wraoparound supports,

> services, therapies etc and I am the parent who advocates for

everything.

>

> Is anyone else dealing with this parent blame?

>

> Denel

> Blessed Mom to 5.10 year old Zachary

> Mood Disorder - NOS, Sensory Integration, PDD-NOS, (awaiting

confirmation on

> Aspergers due to age)

> (R/O Bipolar, ODD, ADHD)

>

[Guest guest]

That is what we are working on too, and J. really has gotten better, but he still tends to ramble on and not make sense a lot of the time. It is frustrating for us, and for him I am sure. Now B. CAN answer and make sense, but he tends to rhyme words out of nowhere and that drives me nuts lol. He can tell me about his day, though sometimes he just won't tell me much except "we did math and reading..." and things like that. We have things we do to try to encourage more description when both are talking to us, but it is a slow process.

In a message dated 10/26/2010 9:42:37 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, MadIdeas@... writes:

This is a communication problem if he can't tell you what has happened at school or relay information, share, participate in the conversation. We had many years of ST to work on these things.

Roxanna"I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." - Jefferson

( ) Re: Does your child do well in school, but not in the Community? Date: Friday, October 22, 2010, 2:15 PM

My son just went through the process of trying to qualify for preschool services at our school district, which were denied. While nobody was blaming me for anything, I did sense a certain skepticism from the school district psychologist. The implication was that there were a lot more concerns revealed in my parent questionnaires than she saw firsthand (gee, that couldn't be because she has spent a grand total of 2 hours with him and I live with my son!). My son's developmental therapist forwarded me an email conversation they had in which the school psych asked if she had witnessed any of the social problems or if it was all based on "the mother's report". Fortunately, the developmental therapist has worked with my son in peer situations, so she was able to affirm that the concerns in report were based on her firsthand observations, not my accounts - which apparently don't count for much. It's definitely frustrating to have people doubt you when you are trying so hard to help your child in any way you can. Sorry to hear you have been dealing with that at your son's school.Bridget>> Seems that many parents are being blamed for their child's issues when they> do "well" in school, but not in the community. Just because the proper> environment, with the right supports are in place and positive results are> achieved - does NOT mean the illness, issues etc do not exist for the child.> > > In my case, the school has blamed me (personally at meetings, documented it> in FBA reports, and in front of my advocates at IEP meetings) They have even> gone so far as filing 2 complaints 51A's with DCF (Dept of Children and> Fanilies, formely DSS) accusing me "being the one with the mental illness,> fabricating my son's issues and causing his hospitalization". All of which> is untrue. We have tons, and always have had wraoparound supports,> services, therapies etc and I am the parent who advocates for everything. > > Is anyone else dealing with this parent blame?> > Denel> Blessed Mom to 5.10 year old Zachary > Mood Disorder - NOS, Sensory Integration, PDD-NOS, (awaiting confirmation on> Aspergers due to age)> (R/O Bipolar, ODD, ADHD)>