Re: How to Teach Stranger Danger?

January 2, 2011

Bridget, I just wanted to let you know you are not the only one in that boat. However, with my NT daughter, for some reason it was VERY difficult to teach her stranger danger and it has been a struggle her entire life. I think now that she is finally 8 yrs old, she finally gets it, although she still talks to EVERYONE who will listen to her! Anyway, with my nearly 4 yr old, I haven't even tried to teach her stranger danger, you are probably wondering why, but basically for her I can't even seem to get her to understand that her actions can cause her to be in danger (e.g. running out in the street, trying to jump off our 2nd story ledge). She goes so far as to throw herself in the middle of a busy street and scream because I won't let her walk in the street without a hand.

Is this typical for the AS child?? I am hoping for an actual diagnosis this week! Anyway, if anyone has ideas on this topic, I would LOVE to hear what you have to say!!!CarolynFrom: bridget <beanniferj@...> Sent: Sun, January 2, 2011 5:06:43 PMSubject: ( ) How to Teach Stranger Danger?

Hi all,

I was wondering at what age you all taught your kids about "stranger danger" and how you did it? My son is 3, and we have tried to gently introduce the topic in the past, but he clearly does not grasp the concept at all. Basically, we have told him that strangers are people that Mommy and Daddy do not know, and while most strangers are kind, since we cannot be sure about someone we don't know, he should never go anywhere with a stranger. One day at a bus stop, I pointed out to my son the kind of creepy looking man that you would definitely want your kids to steer clear of, and said "That's a stranger". To which my son replied, "No, that's a Daddy!" (since all men are Daddies and all women are Mommies in his mind) He definitely did not get it! Of course, we all know that predators often pretend to be very nice to kids, so we want to be sure that our son understands that he should never go anywhere with any stranger no matter how they look.

I am looking for a way to drive this message home without making my son scared of everyone he sees. How do you convey that most people are kind, but one should still never go with strangers? Are there any good books for preschoolers that you all have liked?

Thanks,

Bridget

January 3, 2011

This is very difficult for Aspies to grasp. We had one HELL of a time with this

one, because my son would just go with anybody, even people who didn't ask him,

and often left the house without permission. Thankfully, so far everyone has

returned him to me, often to my embarrassment. We tried all kinds of

explanation, and books, and trying to get him to be afraid (he is NOT afraid of

anything, and is in fact drawn by anything with the label of danger on it). We

finally had a therapist introduce a color system that worked like a miracle.

Family was one color, friends another color, service workers (like doctors,

teachers, etc.) another color, etc. I think there were like 6 categories.

Strangers were RED (the color of danger), and some examples were given in each

category. He had a colored social story booklet with all these examples, and

then they had him do a project of classifying pictures on colored papers. The

classification helped IMMENSELY, and once he could do that (with remarkable

ease, I might add), it was simple enough to tell him that strangers might hurt

him, and never go with a stranger or take candy or food from a stranger. He

spent about a week classifying every person we met, which is kind of

embarrassing, but we haven't had any problems since he finally figured out the

concept of what a stranger is.

Before the colored classification system, he was getting bogged down trying to

sort out degrees of strangers and all the different characteristics that made

someone a stranger or not. He would think that if he asked someone their name,

and found that out, that then they would no longer be strangers. Or if we had

seen someone more than once, even if we had never talked to them, that they were

no longer strangers. Etc. It was a nightmare, and he would try to talk to

every stranger we met in order to help him sort out who was who.

Oh yeah, with the colored system, simple protocols were easy to put in place for

each category. Like it is okay to hug and kiss green people (immediate family),

etc. Depending on the child, it might be okay for him or her to hug friends or

give them a friendly pat on the back, but certainly not to kiss them. And so on.

>

> Hi all,

>

> I was wondering at what age you all taught your kids about " stranger danger "

and how you did it? My son is 3, and we have tried to gently introduce the topic

in the past, but he clearly does not grasp the concept at all. Basically, we

have told him that strangers are people that Mommy and Daddy do not know, and

while most strangers are kind, since we cannot be sure about someone we don't

know, he should never go anywhere with a stranger. One day at a bus stop, I

pointed out to my son the kind of creepy looking man that you would definitely

want your kids to steer clear of, and said " That's a stranger " . To which my son

replied, " No, that's a Daddy! " (since all men are Daddies and all women are

Mommies in his mind) He definitely did not get it! Of course, we all know that

predators often pretend to be very nice to kids, so we want to be sure that our

son understands that he should never go anywhere with any stranger no matter how

they look.

>

> I am looking for a way to drive this message home without making my son scared

of everyone he sees. How do you convey that most people are kind, but one should

still never go with strangers? Are there any good books for preschoolers that

you all have liked?

>

> Thanks,

>

> Bridget

>

January 3, 2011

I LOVE the idea of the color coded categories. That sounds like something my son

might really respond to (we use a lot of visual charts like the 5 point scale

and picture schedules). The part about including what behavior is appropriate

for each category of person also sounds helpful. My son has definitely been

known to hug strangers or try to kiss children at school (while refusing kisses

or hugs from family members, I might add!). Do you remember what the categories

were between service workers and strangers? I was thinking maybe accquaintences,

like people you see all the time at the grocery store? Thanks for the idea!

Bridget

> >

> > Hi all,

> >

> > I was wondering at what age you all taught your kids about " stranger danger "