Thank you & Violent Behavior

[Guest guest]

I am so thankful for this group. I wish I had more advice to offer rather than always posting questions, but maybe in some odd way knowing that we are all dealing with similar issues brings comfort somehow. I apologize for asking about the posts. I didn't realize this board was moderated. What a job for the moderators...thank you for all you do!

I am really concerned about my son. He has always been quick to anger and occasionally aggressive, but in the past 3 months or so this behavior has become more regular and more extreme. The reaction he has to a situation is overly exaggerated and is commonly without warning. Its so hard to describe this. It is hard to tell what he will be able to handle, and what will turn in to WW3 with him. When I say he is aggressive, I don't mean he just hits someone and walks away. Outside of school, he usually begins by hitting me and then it turns into a *free-for-all* meaning he hits anyone or anything in his path. Of course I don't condone this behavior whatsoever. I get on his level to make as much eye contact as I can w/him, tell him *no hitting* *you cannot hit me* *use your words* and try to help him label how he is feeling. I have an area set up for him when he is over stimulated where he can sit with his bear, draw, or blow bubbles to calm down. He wants NO part of it. He gets a rise out of running through the house throwing things at me, at the walls, at the ceiling. He doesn't care what he throws either. A penny, a shoe, a barstool, a can of Sprite, anything he can grab becomes airborne. I stay as calm as possible, don't yell (though I am yelling inside!!!), and don't chase him around the house. Unless you have seen these fits, it is hard to describe. It is like he is possessed.

They don't happen only at home. The first big public one happened yesterday at Walgreens. He wanted a battery he found on the ground that was obviously leaking. I said *no, that is dangerous* and asked him to put it in the trash while telling him about battery acid, etc. As I was getting my prescription, he just punched me right in the face!!! He started hitting me, and I quickly got a hold of his arms and firmly said *we don't hit!!* Grabbed the script, the drinks we had been drinking in the store and headed to the check out to pay for them. Before we left the pharmacy, I told him why we weren't getting the rest of the stuff, which he wasn't concerned with. He had picked out a toy to buy with his own money...well, he wasn't about to get that privilege. I left the cart where it was, but he grabbed it and took of running with it. At the checkout, he was screaming and yelling. I paid for the drinks and started to leave. He tried to take the toy w/him, and refused to leave until he paid for it. I gave it to the cashier, told him we would not be getting it, and I expected him to walk to the car with me. 10 minutes later...he heads to the car with me. We struggled for that long to get out the door. He is too heavy for me to pick up, and he dug those heels in. Got out to the car, & he climbed in the drivers seat. When he is angry, he is stronger than usual and faster than usual. He *wasn't moving* in his mind. So, I shut the door (had the keys) for a minute. He climbed in his seat and went nuts kicking my seat, yelling, etc. It all continued when we got home, until finally I had enough. I told him it was time to turn his day around and redirected him into drawing to take his mind off of his anger. He will keep going and going and going.

I don't know what to do in these situations!!! Therapists say *have him blow bubbles* to calm him before it gets to that point. What she doesn't understand is he goes from the initial upset to rage in about 30 seconds!! He threw the bubbles in my face last time I tried that. I am at my wits end. I just don't know how to help my son.

I have figured out a few things I think may be triggering the afternoon fits. He told me last night he hasn't been eating lunch at school at all! So other than breakfast he doesn't eat until his after school snack. He usually chooses to play during the morning snack at school, and they don't have an afternoon one. I also found a number of pills that he didn't take or dropped. Usually I give him the AM meds, but the PM meds I let him take. No more! Also, he's been talking about being teased at school. So, I see a few possible issues. But...what in the world do I do with him when he is soooo violent??

I realize I sound like I cant control my own son, but they are baffling to me. I am open to advice...I really am.

thanks,

Ashleigh

_______________________~Ashleigh~

"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seuss

www.picturetrail.com/ashleigh1976

[Guest guest]

Hi, Ashleigh. Something you might want to consider is whether you

started your son on any SSRIs (Zoloft, Prozac, Cylexa, etc.) right

around the time he started having these intense melt downs. Two of my

sons with AS are unable to take SSRIs because, within a few days of

starting it, they became much, much more irritable. If you think that

might be contributing to the problem, contact his doctor about doing a

trial without the med to see if that helps. I'm particularly

suspecting that Zoloft may be the problem because I see that he has

some OCD-type behavior (or anyway the school thinks so), and Zoloft is

one of the best meds to help control that sort of thing.

Unfortunately, sometimes it makes things worse in other ways. Another

class of meds that can cause this sort of behavior is the stimulant

meds like Ritalin and Adderall, so that's something to be suspicious

of too. Good luck.

Sue

<snip> " I am really concerned about my son. He has always been quick

to anger and occasionally aggressive, but in the past 3 months or so

this behavior has become more regular and more extreme. The reaction

he has to a situation is overly exaggerated and is commonly without

warning. Its so hard to describe this. It is hard to tell what he will

be able to handle, and what will turn in to WW3 with him. " <snip>