help!

[Guest guest]

Hi I am new to this site and this is the first time I am reaching out in 12

years! I have a 12 year old daughter who has Cerebral palsy, Seizures, and PDD

,aspergers. I need some advice on how to handle her when she is acting out. She

tends to fixate and the littlest changes causes severe outburts, I do not want

to go the medication route, been there done that! but I am having such

difficulty dealing with her. She seems to shut down when I try to give her

direction or manipulates me and pushes me to my limit when I try to tell her to

do something. Our family has gone through huge changes in the past couple of

years and she has escalated in response to this. I have two other children and

they are affected by her behavior as well. I am now divorced and trying to make

a life for myself and them and she fights me on everything, sometimes causing

bruising o herself when she is angry, which is almost everyday. hen she is good

and content she is awesome and sweet! but when she is bad she is really bad!

When she is acting out sometimes I cant help it but to yell and I find she just

doesnt change her focus no matter what I say, for example: " go put your clothes

away, she will say NO and she willlay on the floor and cry and scream and no

matter how I approach it she wont change her focus and will conmtinue to throw

herself down until I do it for her! This is just a small example, but it goes

all the way to walking down the street, tell her to come with me across the

street and she will not! she will stand there carrying on! I have tried to put

her in her room for a time out and she wont stay in there , I need to physically

stand in her way and block her from coming out! she kicks, punches, yells, and

continues to fight me! Any suggestions as to how to approach and handle in order

to deescalate this behavior???? How can I change my behavior to better interact

with her? I know I am not doing this right, but I get so frustrated that I end

up yelling and screaming at her with no resolution. Thank you for your help .

Kathie