Re: I see I am not in this alone.. @ Jan

[Guest guest]

My husband reminds me often that, because I feel the same way, that my daughter does things to just piss me off, but he reminds me constantly that its not so that its just way the her brain works. I have a hard time with it and I'm having less patience as she gets older which makes me feel like a horrible parent. Hang in there! Definitely seek some ABA for him. BOn May 18, 2010, at 4:49 AM, Notarnicola wrote:

Hi, My son is 14 and he has not yet been diagnosed Aspie. He does however have all the traits and symptoms. We are working towards getting him tested. My son is 14 and he is really trying my patience. He comes home from school and heads to his room and reads. He does not even say hello or anything. Then when dinner comes he sits and eats. He may start up a conversation or something but rarely. Then he does a few chores and goes back to his room.. This is the life of m son. He has a real big I don't care attitude. For punishment, I have tried taking thins away such as video games and such that did nothing. It almost seems like he does thing intentionally to get us upset at him. I am just so frustrated.. I am even seeing a phycologist on how to cope and deal with him..Mike On May 18, 2010, at 4:04 AM, rushen janice wrote:

I think we may never reach the point of getting them to "care" like others do but maybe we can try positive reinforcement. Rewards. I am going to tell my son....you want a sleepover Friday...then I want 20 min. each day of studying. I'll let you know.

jan "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

From: Byrne <kabobecatbox (DOT) net> Sent: Mon, May 17, 2010 8:37:07 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Seriously testing my ability as a parent oh btw, my daughter doesn't care either, she hates to do her work, she tells me "I'm smarter than you are I dont need school" Which she is quiet intelligent everything comes easy to her. But if she just tried harder she could learn so much more! I try to tell her that but she just stares at me with that are you still talking face. LOL

On May 17, 2010, at 1:36 PM, rushen janice wrote:

Oh, you mean it is not just my son! I thought I was alone with the anger and yelling and slamming doors. My son is 14 and I feel the growth hormones, teen stuff as well as having AS is causing all of this. He has fits about getting up and told me I was "bitching". Then proceeded to knock over he chair and throw everything off his dresser and it is only 6 a.m. and the bus comes at 6:15 a.m. Ugh! What a God awful hour to have to get up and go to school but he rides the smaller bus. I can't get him to bed at night or wake up in the mornng. Everything is an argument. He goes straight to his room after school. I have learned not to talk to him. what a life is this? I can't even talk to him. I know he is holding it together in school and doing much better. He refuses to do homework or study but is still passing everything. Thank Goodness. But he is smart...but he doesn't apply himself and he "doesn't care".

So please know you are not alone! We are in this together. I am going to try talking to him tonight. He wants things and we do for him...so now it is his turn to do some stuff for us! Like study for 1/2 hour. And, he wants to be treated like a teen....so then he has to start taking on responsibility. He can't have it both ways. We'll see how it works out.

Hang in there...you are doing the best you can....and you and I are in the same boat...so lean over and cry on my shoulder if you need to....

jan "Faith, hope and Love and the greatest of these is Love"

From: Mayne <jazjamloch (DOT) com>" " < >Sent: Mon, May 17, 2010 3:55:22 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Seriously testing my ability as a parent

You are not a horrible parent. You are trying your best. It may not get better but the zoloft will help you cope with these things.

I hope they do get better , you are doing the right thing.

KelSent from my iPhone

On 18/05/2010, at 4:52 AM, "mfilas76" <mfilas76 (DOT) com> wrote:

I just started back on Zoloft about 10 days ago, so I know that it's going to kick in here soon. There are alot of other "stressors" in our life right now, and I know that it will get better. The ups and downs of parenting, right? It makes me seriously question my abilities (re: subject lol). He has become so agressive... .and just mean. Yesterday, he was yelling out the door that his older brother was fat. He bought a flashlight at a garage sale on Saturday, and it has a radio and an emergency siren on it that is really loud. I try and let him have stuff like that, because it's his passion - anything mechanical. He kept making the thing beep....over and over and over. I asked him to stop, tried explaining that it was for emergencies. Explained the "never cry wolf" thing....that didn't work. Then, took the approach that the neighbors probably didn't want to hear it all day, and he responded yelling "I have only been playing with it for 3 hours, I'm

not talking to you! Get out of my room!"! I then said that if I heard it again, it would be taken away permanently. He freaked out, and slammed the door....I am sorry to vent - It's just hard to get anyone else to understand. And then people look at you like you are suck a horrible parent. > > > And my sanity....> > > > Do you find, or have you found that when your children are going through growth spurts they completely test your

sanity...ability as parents, as people? I am obviously venting right now...but, I am exhausted. He is so unhappy right now...and loud, oh my. He has been so angry, the angry outbursts are killing me. He will yell and scream....and never wants to talk about anything. Makes life hell with taking meds, eating, getting his way, behaviour socially...is pushing me to my limits. He has been very manipulative in public, because he knows when and where I will discipline, and when and where I can't. He won't sleep at night. The motormouth is constant right now....> > > > I am going to lose my mind!!!! Sorry - please, somebody tell me I'm not crazy, and how long it's going to last...because he can't get in to see his doctor until next week. > > > >>

“Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” - Steve Jobs

“Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” - Steve Jobs

[Guest guest]

Was he always like that? Or is it just recent. My child was that way since 2. It was not anything she did intentionally to hurt me. She was super agitated with OCD and sensory issues, that she could not help it.On May 18, 2010, at 6:49 AM, Notarnicola wrote:

Hi, My son is 14 and he has not yet been diagnosed Aspie. He does however have all the traits and symptoms. We are working towards getting him tested. My son is 14 and he is really trying my patience. He comes home from school and heads to his room and reads. He does not even say hello or anything. Then when dinner comes he sits and eats. He may start up a conversation or something but rarely. Then he does a few chores and goes back to his room.. This is the life of m son. He has a real big I don't care attitude. For punishment, I have tried taking thins away such as video games and such that did nothing. It almost seems like he does thing intentionally to get us upset at him. I am just so frustrated.. I am even seeing a phycologist on how to cope and deal with him..Mike On May 18, 2010, at 4:04 AM, rushen janice wrote:

I think we may never reach the point of getting them to "care" like others do but maybe we can try positive reinforcement. Rewards. I am going to tell my son....you want a sleepover Friday...then I want 20 min. each day of studying. I'll let you know.

jan "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

From: Byrne <kabobecatbox (DOT) net> Sent: Mon, May 17, 2010 8:37:07 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Seriously testing my ability as a parent oh btw, my daughter doesn't care either, she hates to do her work, she tells me "I'm smarter than you are I dont need school" Which she is quiet intelligent everything comes easy to her. But if she just tried harder she could learn so much more! I try to tell her that but she just stares at me with that are you still talking face. LOL

On May 17, 2010, at 1:36 PM, rushen janice wrote:

Oh, you mean it is not just my son! I thought I was alone with the anger and yelling and slamming doors. My son is 14 and I feel the growth hormones, teen stuff as well as having AS is causing all of this. He has fits about getting up and told me I was "bitching". Then proceeded to knock over he chair and throw everything off his dresser and it is only 6 a.m. and the bus comes at 6:15 a.m. Ugh! What a God awful hour to have to get up and go to school but he rides the smaller bus. I can't get him to bed at night or wake up in the mornng. Everything is an argument. He goes straight to his room after school. I have learned not to talk to him. what a life is this? I can't even talk to him. I know he is holding it together in school and doing much better. He refuses to do homework or study but is still passing everything. Thank Goodness. But he is smart...but he doesn't apply himself and he "doesn't care".

So please know you are not alone! We are in this together. I am going to try talking to him tonight. He wants things and we do for him...so now it is his turn to do some stuff for us! Like study for 1/2 hour. And, he wants to be treated like a teen....so then he has to start taking on responsibility. He can't have it both ways. We'll see how it works out.

Hang in there...you are doing the best you can....and you and I are in the same boat...so lean over and cry on my shoulder if you need to....

jan "Faith, hope and Love and the greatest of these is Love"

From: Mayne <jazjamloch (DOT) com>" " < >Sent: Mon, May 17, 2010 3:55:22 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Seriously testing my ability as a parent

You are not a horrible parent. You are trying your best. It may not get better but the zoloft will help you cope with these things.

I hope they do get better , you are doing the right thing.

KelSent from my iPhone

On 18/05/2010, at 4:52 AM, "mfilas76" <mfilas76 (DOT) com> wrote:

I just started back on Zoloft about 10 days ago, so I know that it's going to kick in here soon. There are alot of other "stressors" in our life right now, and I know that it will get better. The ups and downs of parenting, right? It makes me seriously question my abilities (re: subject lol). He has become so agressive... .and just mean. Yesterday, he was yelling out the door that his older brother was fat. He bought a flashlight at a garage sale on Saturday, and it has a radio and an emergency siren on it that is really loud. I try and let him have stuff like that, because it's his passion - anything mechanical. He kept making the thing beep....over and over and over. I asked him to stop, tried explaining that it was for emergencies. Explained the "never cry wolf" thing....that didn't work. Then, took the approach that the neighbors probably didn't want to hear it all day, and he responded yelling "I have only been playing with it for 3 hours, I'm

not talking to you! Get out of my room!"! I then said that if I heard it again, it would be taken away permanently. He freaked out, and slammed the door....I am sorry to vent - It's just hard to get anyone else to understand. And then people look at you like you are suck a horrible parent. > > > And my sanity....> > > > Do you find, or have you found that when your children are going through growth spurts they completely test your

sanity...ability as parents, as people? I am obviously venting right now...but, I am exhausted. He is so unhappy right now...and loud, oh my. He has been so angry, the angry outbursts are killing me. He will yell and scream....and never wants to talk about anything. Makes life hell with taking meds, eating, getting his way, behaviour socially...is pushing me to my limits. He has been very manipulative in public, because he knows when and where I will discipline, and when and where I can't. He won't sleep at night. The motormouth is constant right now....> > > > I am going to lose my mind!!!! Sorry - please, somebody tell me I'm not crazy, and how long it's going to last...because he can't get in to see his doctor until next week. > > > >>

“Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” - Steve Jobs

[Guest guest]

Mike, my son is 14 too. He also wants to read or play gameboy all the time. We have also grounded him from all his electronics and he just didn't care. He is going to fail 8th grade and doesn't even seem to care. He seems to not care about anything.DeanaSent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®From: Notarnicola <mikejn1@...>Date: Tue, 18 May 2010 06:49:59 -0500< >Subject: ( ) I see I am not in this alone.. @ Jan Hi, My son is 14 and he has not yet been diagnosed Aspie. He does however have all the traits and symptoms. We are working towards getting him tested. My son is 14 and he is really trying my patience. He comes home from school and heads to his room and reads. He does not even say hello or anything. Then when dinner comes he sits and eats. He may start up a conversation or something but rarely. Then he does a few chores and goes back to his room.. This is the life of m son. He has a real big I don't care attitude. For punishment, I have tried taking thins away such as video games and such that did nothing. It almost seems like he does thing intentionally to get us upset at him. I am just so frustrated.. I am even seeing a phycologist on how to cope and deal with him..Mike On May 18, 2010, at 4:04 AM, rushen janice wrote: I think we may never reach the point of getting them to "care" like others do but maybe we can try positive reinforcement. Rewards. I am going to tell my son....you want a sleepover Friday...then I want 20 min. each day of studying. I'll let you know. jan "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert EinsteinFrom: Byrne <kabobecatbox (DOT) net> Sent: Mon, May 17, 2010 8:37:07 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Seriously testing my ability as a parent oh btw, my daughter doesn't care either, she hates to do her work, she tells me "I'm smarter than you are I dont need school" Which she is quiet intelligent everything comes easy to her. But if she just tried harder she could learn so much more! I try to tell her that but she just stares at me with that are you still talking face. LOL On May 17, 2010, at 1:36 PM, rushen janice wrote: Oh, you mean it is not just my son! I thought I was alone with the anger and yelling and slamming doors. My son is 14 and I feel the growth hormones, teen stuff as well as having AS is causing all of this. He has fits about getting up and told me I was "bitching". Then proceeded to knock over he chair and throw everything off his dresser and it is only 6 a.m. and the bus comes at 6:15 a.m. Ugh! What a God awful hour to have to get up and go to school but he rides the smaller bus. I can't get him to bed at night or wake up in the mornng. Everything is an argument. He goes straight to his room after school. I have learned not to talk to him. what a life is this? I can't even talk to him. I know he is holding it together in school and doing much better. He refuses to do homework or study but is still passing everything. Thank Goodness. But he is smart...but he doesn't apply himself and he "doesn't care". So please know you are not alone! We are in this together. I am going to try talking to him tonight. He wants things and we do for him...so now it is his turn to do some stuff for us! Like study for 1/2 hour. And, he wants to be treated like a teen....so then he has to start taking on responsibility. He can't have it both ways. We'll see how it works out. Hang in there...you are doing the best you can....and you and I are in the same boat...so lean over and cry on my shoulder if you need to.... jan "Faith, hope and Love and the greatest of these is Love"From: Mayne <jazjamloch (DOT) com>" " < >Sent: Mon, May 17, 2010 3:55:22 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Seriously testing my ability as a parent You are not a horrible parent. You are trying your best. It may not get better but the zoloft will help you cope with these things.I hope they do get better , you are doing the right thing. KelSent from my iPhoneOn 18/05/2010, at 4:52 AM, "mfilas76" <mfilas76 (DOT) com> wrote: I just started back on Zoloft about 10 days ago, so I know that it's going to kick in here soon. There are alot of other "stressors" in our life right now, and I know that it will get better. The ups and downs of parenting, right? It makes me seriously question my abilities (re: subject lol). He has become so agressive... .and just mean. Yesterday, he was yelling out the door that his older brother was fat. He bought a flashlight at a garage sale on Saturday, and it has a radio and an emergency siren on it that is really loud. I try and let him have stuff like that, because it's his passion - anything mechanical. He kept making the thing beep....over and over and over. I asked him to stop, tried explaining that it was for emergencies. Explained the "never cry wolf" thing....that didn't work. Then, took the approach that the neighbors probably didn't want to hear it all day, and he responded yelling "I have only been playing with it for 3 hours, I'mnot talking to you! Get out of my room!"! I then said that if I heard it again, it would be taken away permanently. He freaked out, and slammed the door....I am sorry to vent - It's just hard to get anyone else to understand. And then people look at you like you are suck a horrible parent. > > > And my sanity....> > > > Do you find, or have you found that when your children are going through growth spurts they completely test yoursanity...ability as parents, as people? I am obviously venting right now...but, I am exhausted. He is so unhappy right now...and loud, oh my. He has been so angry, the angry outbursts are killing me. He will yell and scream....and never wants to talk about anything. Makes life hell with taking meds, eating, getting his way, behaviour socially...is pushing me to my limits. He has been very manipulative in public, because he knows when and where I will discipline, and when and where I can't. He won't sleep at night. The motormouth is constant right now....> > > > I am going to lose my mind!!!! Sorry - please, somebody tell me I'm not crazy, and how long it's going to last...because he can't get in to see his doctor until next week. > > > >>“Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” - Steve Jobs

[Guest guest]

Maybe instead of taking away...try rewarding him or giving him incentives for doing things ....say...you want him to do xyz...or not yell or something like that ...if he does it all week, you'll take him to the library or Borders. These are not bribes...just rewards for behavior that you want to reinforce.

jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

From: Notarnicola <mikejn1@...> Sent: Tue, May 18, 2010 7:49:59 AMSubject: ( ) I see I am not in this alone.. @ Jan

Hi,

My son is 14 and he has not yet been diagnosed Aspie. He does however have all the traits and symptoms. We are working towards getting him tested. My son is 14 and he is really trying my patience. He comes home from school and heads to his room and reads. He does not even say hello or anything. Then when dinner comes he sits and eats. He may start up a conversation or something but rarely. Then he does a few chores and goes back to his room.. This is the life of m son. He has a real big I don't care attitude. For punishment, I have tried taking thins away such as video games and such that did nothing. It almost seems like he does thing intentionally to get us upset at him.

I am just so frustrated.. I am even seeing a phycologist on how to cope and deal with him..

Mike

On May 18, 2010, at 4:04 AM, rushen janice wrote:

I think we may never reach the point of getting them to "care" like others do but maybe we can try positive reinforcement. Rewards. I am going to tell my son....you want a sleepover Friday...then I want 20 min. each day of studying. I'll let you know.

jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

From: Byrne <kabobecatbox (DOT) net> Sent: Mon, May 17, 2010 8:37:07 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Seriously testing my ability as a parent

oh btw, my daughter doesn't care either, she hates to do her work, she tells me "I'm smarter than you are I dont need school" Which she is quiet intelligent everything comes easy to her. But if she just tried harder she could learn so much more! I try to tell her that but she just stares at me with that are you still talking face. LOL

On May 17, 2010, at 1:36 PM, rushen janice wrote:

Oh, you mean it is not just my son! I thought I was alone with the anger and yelling and slamming doors. My son is 14 and I feel the growth hormones, teen stuff as well as having AS is causing all of this. He has fits about getting up and told me I was "bitching". Then proceeded to knock over he chair and throw everything off his dresser and it is only 6 a.m. and the bus comes at 6:15 a.m. Ugh! What a God awful hour to have to get up and go to school but he rides the smaller bus. I can't get him to bed at night or wake up in the mornng. Everything is an argument. He goes straight to his room after school. I have learned not to talk to him. what a life is this? I can't even talk to him. I know he is holding it together in school and doing much better. He refuses to do homework or study but is still passing everything. Thank Goodness. But he is smart...but he doesn't apply himself and he "doesn't care".

So please know you are not alone! We are in this together. I am going to try talking to him tonight. He wants things and we do for him...so now it is his turn to do some stuff for us! Like study for 1/2 hour. And, he wants to be treated like a teen....so then he has to start taking on responsibility. He can't have it both ways. We'll see how it works out.

Hang in there...you are doing the best you can....and you and I are in the same boat...so lean over and cry on my shoulder if you need to....

jan

"Faith, hope and Love and the greatest of these is Love"

From: Mayne <jazjamloch (DOT) com>" " < >Sent: Mon, May 17, 2010 3:55:22 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Seriously testing my ability as a parent

You are not a horrible parent. You are trying your best. It may not get better but the zoloft will help you cope with these things.

I hope they do get better , you are doing the right thing.

KelSent from my iPhone

On 18/05/2010, at 4:52 AM, "mfilas76" <mfilas76 (DOT) com> wrote:

I just started back on Zoloft about 10 days ago, so I know that it's going to kick in here soon. There are alot of other "stressors" in our life right now, and I know that it will get better. The ups and downs of parenting, right? It makes me seriously question my abilities (re: subject lol). He has become so agressive... .and just mean. Yesterday, he was yelling out the door that his older brother was fat. He bought a flashlight at a garage sale on Saturday, and it has a radio and an emergency siren on it that is really loud. I try and let him have stuff like that, because it's his passion - anything mechanical. He kept making the thing beep....over and over and over. I asked him to stop, tried explaining that it was for emergencies. Explained the "never cry wolf" thing....that didn't work. Then, took the approach that the neighbors probably didn't want to hear it all day, and he responded yelling "I have only been playing with it for 3 hours, I'm

not talking to you! Get out of my room!"! I then said that if I heard it again, it would be taken away permanently. He freaked out, and slammed the door....I am sorry to vent - It's just hard to get anyone else to understand. And then people look at you like you are suck a horrible parent. > > > And my sanity....> > > > Do you find, or have you found that when your children are going through growth spurts they completely test your

sanity...ability as parents, as people? I am obviously venting right now...but, I am exhausted. He is so unhappy right now...and loud, oh my. He has been so angry, the angry outbursts are killing me. He will yell and scream....and never wants to talk about anything. Makes life hell with taking meds, eating, getting his way, behaviour socially...is pushing me to my limits. He has been very manipulative in public, because he knows when and where I will discipline, and when and where I can't. He won't sleep at night. The motormouth is constant right now....> > > > I am going to lose my mind!!!! Sorry - please, somebody tell me I'm not crazy, and how long it's going to last...because he can't get in to see his doctor until next week. > > > >>

“Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.†- Steve Jobs

[Guest guest]

I wouldn't punish him for not behaving "normally." Instead, you should work on ways to help him learn the skills he needs. One thing to consider is that he is using up all his "coping" allotment for each day at school. So when he comes home, he just turns off to rest up for another day. He doesn't have anything left. the other aspect is to work on the skills you want him to have. For an example, my ds was 17 yo (hfa) and tutoring 3 times per week in lieu of school. So I had to drive him to the library and pick him up. Each time I picked him up, he would get in the car and grunt "Lunch!" at me. He is a man of few words, lol, and to heck with the niceties of civilized society! <g> So I just started my own little program with him. I told him what I wanted him to say, I modeled it for him. "Hi mom! How are you today?" before asking for lunch. He would get in the car and grunt "Lunch!" at me and I would smile back and wait. And wait. And then he would remember and say, "Hello mother! How are you today? Lunch!" lol. We would crack up because even he could see how funny that sounded. But you know what? It eventually morphed into actual social language. Soon he would do it without prompting, soon it sounded normal and he paused before asking about lunch, etc. So the point is, you need to pick one thing to work on and teach it to him, then prompt him through it. But also remember, if he is so stressed out during the school day, you may need to address that as well and not just add another layer of stress to his day.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Re: ( ) Seriously testing my ability as a parent

You are not a horrible parent. You are trying your best. It may not get better but the zoloft will help you cope with these things.

I hope they do get better , you are doing the right thing.

Kel

Sent from my iPhone

On 18/05/2010, at 4:52 AM, "mfilas76" <mfilas76 (DOT) com> wrote:

I just started back on Zoloft about 10 days ago, so I know that it's going to kick in here soon. There are alot of other "stressors" in our life right now, and I know that it will get better. The ups and downs of parenting, right? It makes me seriously question my abilities (re: subject lol). He has become so agressive... .and just mean. Yesterday, he was yelling out the door that his older brother was fat. He bought a flashlight at a garage sale on Saturday, and it has a radio and an emergency siren on it that is really loud. I try and let him have stuff like that, because it's his passion - anything mechanical. He kept making the thing beep....over and over and over. I asked him to stop, tried explaining that it was for emergencies. Explained the "never cry wolf" thing....that didn't work. Then, took the approach that the neighbors probably didn't want to hear it all day, and he responded yelling "I have only been playing with it for 3 hours, I'm

not talking to you! Get out of my room!"! I then said that if I heard it again, it would be taken away permanently. He freaked out, and slammed the door....

I am sorry to vent - It's just hard to get anyone else to understand. And then people look at you like you are suck a horrible parent.

>

> > And my sanity....

> >

> > Do you find, or have you found that when your children are going through growth spurts they completely test your

sanity...ability as parents, as people? I am obviously venting right now...but, I am exhausted. He is so unhappy right now...and loud, oh my. He has been so angry, the angry outbursts are killing me. He will yell and scream....and never wants to talk about anything. Makes life hell with taking meds, eating, getting his way, behaviour socially...is pushing me to my limits. He has been very manipulative in public, because he knows when and where I will discipline, and when and where I can't. He won't sleep at night. The motormouth is constant right now....

> >

> > I am going to lose my mind!!!! Sorry - please, somebody tell me I'm not crazy, and how long it's going to last...because he can't get in to see his doctor until next week.

> >

> >

>

“Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.†- Steve Jobs

[Guest guest]

I would not punish either. My son does the same exact thing...and I have learned to leave him alone when he came home from school. He needs his space. School is so overloading for them. All the noise, sensory issues, learning, trying to stay on task, trying to fit in, etc., etc. So if your son comes in and doesn't talk right away ...let it be. I usually wait for my son to talk to me. And I have learned not to ask "How was your day". It seems to set him off. When he wants to talk about his day ...he does. I find this helps a lot...and when he is ready he talks.

You may want to work with him at dinner time. Maybe you could try saying one good thing that happened that day even if it was seeing a butterfly or a pretty flower. What is your son interested in? Try working that into some conversations.

I don't beleive he does things intentionally to annoy you. They ususally don't even realize it. And, I have found taking away stuff usually doesn't work for my son....but working towards a reward he wants ...that works. If you son likes to read...reward him with new books or a trip to the library. Positvie Reinforcements work better then negative ones.

Jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

From: Roxanna <MadIdeas@...> Sent: Wed, June 23, 2010 8:59:57 AMSubject: Re: ( ) I see I am not in this alone.. @ Jan

I wouldn't punish him for not behaving "normally." Instead, you should work on ways to help him learn the skills he needs. One thing to consider is that he is using up all his "coping" allotment for each day at school. So when he comes home, he just turns off to rest up for another day. He doesn't have anything left. the other aspect is to work on the skills you want him to have. For an example, my ds was 17 yo (hfa) and tutoring 3 times per week in lieu of school. So I had to drive him to the library and pick him up. Each time I picked him up, he would get in the car and grunt "Lunch!" at me. He is a man of few words, lol, and to heck with the niceties of civilized society! <g> So I just started my own little program with him.

I told him what I wanted him to say, I modeled it for him. "Hi mom! How are you today?" before asking for lunch. He would get in the car and grunt "Lunch!" at me and I would smile back and wait. And wait. And then he would remember and say, "Hello mother! How are you today? Lunch!" lol. We would crack up because even he could see how funny that sounded. But you know what? It eventually morphed into actual social language. Soon he would do it without prompting, soon it sounded normal and he paused before asking about lunch, etc. So the point is, you need to pick one thing to work on and teach it to him, then prompt him through it. But also remember, if he is so stressed out during the school day, you may need to address that as well and not just add another layer of stress to his day.

RoxannaWhenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Re: ( ) Seriously testing my ability as a parent

You are not a horrible parent. You are trying your best. It may not get better but the zoloft will help you cope with these things.

I hope they do get better , you are doing the right thing.

KelSent from my iPhone

On 18/05/2010, at 4:52 AM, "mfilas76" <mfilas76 (DOT) com> wrote:

I just started back on Zoloft about 10 days ago, so I know that it's going to kick in here soon. There are alot of other "stressors" in our life right now, and I know that it will get better. The ups and downs of parenting, right? It makes me seriously question my abilities (re: subject lol). He has become so agressive... .and just mean. Yesterday, he was yelling out the door that his older brother was fat. He bought a flashlight at a garage sale on Saturday, and it has a radio and an emergency siren on it that is really loud. I try and let him have stuff like that, because it's his passion - anything mechanical. He kept making the thing beep....over and over and over. I asked him to stop, tried explaining that it was for emergencies. Explained the "never cry wolf" thing....that didn't work. Then, took the approach that the neighbors probably didn't want to hear it all day, and he responded yelling "I have only been playing with it for 3 hours, I'm

not talking to you! Get out of my room!"! I then said that if I heard it again, it would be taken away permanently. He freaked out, and slammed the door....I am sorry to vent - It's just hard to get anyone else to understand. And then people look at you like you are suck a horrible parent. > > > And my sanity....> > > > Do you find, or have you found that when your children are going through growth spurts they completely test your

sanity...ability as parents, as people? I am obviously venting right now...but, I am exhausted. He is so unhappy right now...and loud, oh my. He has been so angry, the angry outbursts are killing me. He will yell and scream....and never wants to talk about anything. Makes life hell with taking meds, eating, getting his way, behaviour socially...is pushing me to my limits. He has been very manipulative in public, because he knows when and where I will discipline, and when and where I can't. He won't sleep at night. The motormouth is constant right now....> > > > I am going to lose my mind!!!! Sorry - please, somebody tell me I'm not crazy, and how long it's going to last...because he can't get in to see his doctor until next week. > > > >>

“Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.†- Steve Jobs