RE: Re: needing tips with a pre-THANK YOU!

[Guest guest]

My 12-yr

old is the same way and I worry about her learning how to do those simple

things herself one day and being a self-sufficient adult.

Right

now, this is what works for us:

Kaelyn

has a chart separated into three categories; AM, After school and PM. Each

category has two pockets, one for “to be done” and one for “completed”

tasks. In the “to be done” pocket are strips of card stock with

each task she is to do for that time period. For example: AM- brush teeth,

brush hair, make bed, etc… Once she has completed one of her tasks, she

then moves that piece of card stock below to the “completed”

pocket. This helps her keep track of what needs to be done as well as a sense

of accomplishment when she completes a task.

It’s

a simple procedure, but has helped TREMENDOUSLY!

Marina

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Pamela

Sent: Tuesday, December 14, 2010

9:24 PM

Subject: ( ) Re:

needing tips with a pre-THANK YOU!

Miriam, I know what you mean. These kids unfortunately

have

real issues, that is often hard to comprehend because

so many have excellent verbal skills. This is somewhat

terrible to say, but if she is taking care of her own

hygiene consider that a winning day. You will be happier

if you accept her issues, but continue to hope for improvement

rather than expect it.

It is likely that she has clear deficits in organizing, planning

and keeping her attention on boring tasks. She has a disability.

In the future she may need supportive housing in the

community to help her. The main thing is that she

gets into the routine of proper self care (shower, brush teeth,

eat proper food) before she is an adult. Lot

of people

live in messy houses for one reason or another. I am

more a neat person myself but I see other family members that

survive in a messy cluttered house.

I hope this helps a little. It is a process for you to, to come

to terms with what this means. Noone wants to accept a limitation

we want to do what we can for our kids, but change happens

thru gradual steps over long periods of time for many of our

kids.

best wishes,

Pam

> > >

> > > Hello, I'm new to this group and at my wit's end. I've been

trying to go at this alone and keep her " label " private so that it

doesn't rule her life or put her in a box, but because people don't know, she

is often annoying others.. which hurts me to see, and is bullied by those who

think she is just obnoxious.

> > >

> > > I have a really hard time with the idea of telling other

children her age(14) that she has aperger's and ADHD. Kids can take something

like that and become even more cruel with it.. saying that the child is a

" mental case " or just being weirded out by them.

> > >

> > > I do part-time homeschool and have been letting her try two

classes a day in public school, for my sanity sake. Having her at home, makes

me NUTS. She is also heavily involved in theater and teaches during the week at

private schools with her director. On top of that, she takes a couple of

college courses, and has since she was 11.

> > >

> > > I don't like to say that she is " Gifted " because I

don't personally see that all of this seems very much like a " Gift "

with the suffering that has come with it. -But she is extremely capable in many

areas.

> > >

> > > My most difficult issue right now as she is a teenager is her

desire for more independence, when she can't even do the simplest things, like

wear socks, or not get filthy from head to toe, or be able to properly clean

her bedroom, or resist snagging a treat that might be on the counter that she

isn't supposed to have. There are so many areas where she is pure instinct, and

in so many others, she surpasses any/all adults.

> > >

> > > So, we have enormous conflicts. I have to admit, I am worse than

anyone. Just asking her to do a simple chore like wiping a counter down, brings

me to the point where I have a migraine and feel like I am going to lose my

mind.

> > >

> > > How do you all get your Asperger's child to do a chore properly?

Just simple things? I suppose all of our kids are different, but with mine, we

have never once been able to get her to do one basic chore correctly, while on

the other hand, she can sit at an instrument she has never played, teach it to

herself and compose songs in one day. Do I just ask nothing of her?? How will

she ever be independent if she can't cover the basics??!!

> > >

> > > Soooo tired!!

> > >

> > > miriam (we have four children altogether. My Asp. daughter is

the oldest)

> > >

> >

>