Bad Day/Violent

[Guest guest]

This morning the kid, 12yo ds, said he didn't feel good, but I checked

everything and he seemed OK so I thought we would just cut back and do a little

school rather than abandoning it all together. He, of course, didn't want to

cooperate and it took three hours to do 16 math problems (which he likes!)

After lunch I tried to do another subject, but all he could do was criticism the

material, so I had him to a multiplication table and then went to put him to

bed. (Recently it has become obvious he isn't getting enough sleep so it was

either take a nap or go to bed earlier than 9 and the nap won.) He wouldn't

budge.

He weighs 150, he's a tank. By the time I actually got him in bed he had lost

his computer and hit me and kicked me. It has been a long time since he lashed

out physically and I really felt like he wanted a physical confrontation.

I'm really at a loss on how to handle it in that moment. He doesn't have

anything else to take away. I could hear him crying after I left and checked

him after awhile. He apologized and everything. I know he feels horrible about

it.

Ugh. Ideas?

Becky

[Guest guest]

My heart goes out to you… Maybe it’s ok for today to

just let the “schooling” go. Think about it. If he didn’t

do any traditional schooling today would his life be so much worse off? I

don’t think so…. One of the big things I did with Zak is

change his diet. I modified the Feingold Diet and it certainly helps with

Zak’s moods. I notice a complete difference with his level of anger

and annoyance when he’s had a ton of carbs and sugar (if he’s gone

somewhere and doesn’t tell them he’s not supposed to eat Pizza made

with wheat flour). Also the sleeping business as well. Zak doesn’t

usually go to sleep (he’s 14) until Midnight sometimes 1am and I don’t

wake him up so that he sleeps until at least 10am. Also Melatonin has

helped.

What doesn’t help for Zak is to take away everything from

him. My belief is that Asperger kids have so little that they actually

love that it destroys them to have nothing and it doesn’t have the same

effect as it does on a neurotypical child.

This is not the life I would have chosen, and it’s the

life I have and each day is an opportunity for me to find a way to stay calm

and help Zak.

Take some deep breaths… You are doing the best you can

with what you have.

I remember reading the “What to Expect the 1st

year” when Zak was that age and nothing that was in the book was

happening to him and it upset me greatly. Turn the clock forward all

these years and now there are more resources and people out there who are

experiencing what I’m experiencing and have some great advice.

Remember you are in good company here.

Hope tomorrow is better for you.

Namaste

Dawn in Tucson

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Becky

Sent: Thursday, January 28, 2010 1:53 PM

Subject: ( ) Bad Day/Violent

This morning the kid, 12yo ds, said he didn't

feel good, but I checked everything and he seemed OK so I thought we would just

cut back and do a little school rather than abandoning it all together. He, of

course, didn't want to cooperate and it took three hours to do 16 math problems

(which he likes!) After lunch I tried to do another subject, but all he could

do was criticism the material, so I had him to a multiplication table and then

went to put him to bed. (Recently it has become obvious he isn't getting enough

sleep so it was either take a nap or go to bed earlier than 9 and the nap won.)

He wouldn't budge.

He weighs 150, he's a tank. By the time I actually got him in bed he had lost

his computer and hit me and kicked me. It has been a long time since he lashed

out physically and I really felt like he wanted a physical confrontation.

I'm really at a loss on how to handle it in that moment. He doesn't have

anything else to take away. I could hear him crying after I left and checked

him after awhile. He apologized and everything. I know he feels horrible about

it.

Ugh. Ideas?

Becky