Re: nature vs nurture

[Guest guest]

We are an Asperger family. Hardly a day goes by that the topic doesn't come up

in our home. Even after 2 years since the dx, we're still discovering how having

Aspergers affects us. Even those who don't have it will say " Well, I guess I'm

Asperger then " when some trait is pointed out in them.

So--was my wife attracted to Asperger me because she shared some of the same

traits (not being comfortable in social situations, so we never went on a formal

date, just sat and talked)? Do some of my neurotypical children fail to develop

in some ways because of the example of their Asperger siblings?

Having nine children, about half of whom are on the Spectrum, makes our family

an intresting study. It will really be interesting to see if we have any

Asperger grandchildren.

I have 3 sisters, 2 of them with children. One sister has a son who clearly has

Aspergers, the other one hasn't been dx'd but shares a lot of the traits (he's

very smart but was asked to leave school after he said he wasn't learning

anything in class because his teacher was dumb). So it appears that my dad

passed on his Aspergers through all three of his children who had sons.

Buck

[Guest guest]

Thank you for writing this … I’m showing

this to my husband.  I keep on saying Max, our NT 10 year old is a con artist

and learns from his older brother.

Just had to referee a fight between them both…. Hubby was

on his way out to get me a Starbucks and I see Zak punch Max (NT) in the arm. 

It took ½ hour to talk it out with hubby and me and the kids in one room.  Zak

thought that Max was “mocking” him.  Max doesn’t even know

what “mocking” means so we had to explain that.  Zak then realized

he wasn’t “mocking” it was something else that pushed his

buttons and bothered him to the point of punching him in the arm.  Of course

Max starts crying and then lunges at Zak and punches him in the back.  All

before I could get over to the table!!!

My big problem with Max is that he then says things like “I

wish I had a normal brother”  “why can’t you be normal like

everyone else”  “your embarrassing to be around because your not

normal”….  I had to repeat the example I use of all the different

pools of people all over the world.  Some people fit into this pool and other’s

fit into that pool.  Dad, Mum and Max are in this pool with a lot of other

people, whilst Zak is in a much smaller pool, but also with a lot of people who

are just like him.

I actually cried tonight when I was telling Max this and that it

was so hurtful not just to Zak but to me to hear him call Zak names and to be

so unloving.  Max has no idea how lucky he is.  He’s the most popular kid

with other kids.  He dresses cool.  He know the right things to say.  He plays

sports (all of which he excels at ).  He eats all healthy foods I put in front

of him and he’s the perfect weight for his age and height.

Issue resolved, Dad taking them to get me a coffee and get them

a Vitamin Water!  Gives me 15 minutes of peace and quiet before any battles

start again.

Namaste

Dawn in Tucson

There

is a difference between interest and commitment. When you are interested in

doing something, you do it only when circumstances permit. When you are

committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results. - Unknown

From:

[mailto: ] On

Behalf Of

Sent: Thursday, January 28, 2010 7:21 AM

Subject: ( ) Re: nature vs nurture

My middle son is the true aspie. He gets a lot

of it from me, but we aren't sure whether I am an aspie or not. His older

brother is half-aspie. He has extensive knowledge bases of things that no one

else cares about, but he does not have the theory of mind difficulties that his

little brother has. Our youngest, a 3yo, is NT, and I mean totally NT. But he

is a little con artist, and has learned lots of behaviors from his aspie

brother. The first thing he ever wrote was a division problem (before he ever

wrote his name), but that is because his aspie brother is constantly reciting

and writing math problems. The examples could go on and on.

So, Asperger's does affect everyone in our family. It seems to suck any

normalcy that there would be into its odd little bubble.

>

> We are an Asperger family. Hardly a day goes by that the topic doesn't

come up in our home. Even after 2 years since the dx, we're still discovering

how having Aspergers affects us. Even those who don't have it will say

" Well, I guess I'm Asperger then " when some trait is pointed out in

them.

>

> So--was my wife attracted to Asperger me because she shared some of the

same traits (not being comfortable in social situations, so we never went on a

formal date, just sat and talked)? Do some of my neurotypical children fail to

develop in some ways because of the example of their Asperger siblings?

>

> Having nine children, about half of whom are on the Spectrum, makes our

family an intresting study. It will really be interesting to see if we have any

Asperger grandchildren.

>

> I have 3 sisters, 2 of them with children. One sister has a son who

clearly has Aspergers, the other one hasn't been dx'd but shares a lot of the

traits (he's very smart but was asked to leave school after he said he wasn't

learning anything in class because his teacher was dumb). So it appears that my

dad passed on his Aspergers through all three of his children who had sons.

>

> Buck

>

[Guest guest]

LOL, your post reminded me that my youngest ds (not AS/HFA) could multiply before he got to Kindergarten because his older brother always drilled him on it. lol.

Roxanna

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E. Burke

( ) Re: nature vs nurture

My middle son is the true aspie. He gets a lot of it from me, but we aren't sure whether I am an aspie or not. His older brother is half-aspie. He has extensive knowledge bases of things that no one else cares about, but he does not have the theory of mind difficulties that his little brother has. Our youngest, a 3yo, is NT, and I mean totally NT. But he is a little con artist, and has learned lots of behaviors from his aspie brother. The first thing he ever wrote was a division problem (before he ever wrote his name), but that is because his aspie brother is constantly reciting and writing math problems. The examples could go on and on.

So, Asperger's does affect everyone in our family. It seems to suck any normalcy that there would be into its odd little bubble.

>

> We are an Asperger family. Hardly a day goes by that the topic doesn't come up in our home. Even after 2 years since the dx, we're still discovering how having Aspergers affects us. Even those who don't have it will say "Well, I guess I'm Asperger then" when some trait is pointed out in them.

>

> So--was my wife attracted to Asperger me because she shared some of the same traits (not being comfortable in social situations, so we never went on a formal date, just sat and talked)? Do some of my neurotypical children fail to develop in some ways because of the example of their Asperger siblings?

>

> Having nine children, about half of whom are on the Spectrum, makes our family an intresting study. It will really be interesting to see if we have any Asperger grandchildren.

>

> I have 3 sisters, 2 of them with children. One sister has a son who clearly has Aspergers, the other one hasn't been dx'd but shares a lot of the traits (he's very smart but was asked to leave school after he said he wasn't learning anything in class because his teacher was dumb). So it appears that my dad passed on his Aspergers through all three of his children who had sons.

>

> Buck

>