RE: great.... - for Roxanna

[Guest guest]

Amen to that!  But, as I am sure you can relate to, there were

times I didn’t think I would live thru it.

From:

[mailto: ] On

Behalf Of Roxanna

Sent: Wednesday, September 30, 2009 8:10 AM

Subject: Re: ( ) great.... - for Robin

, wow. We share a lot in common as I was

reading your story. I

had a lot of the same problems with the school with my older ds,

including having him placed in what they told me was an " LD " class,

but

was really a BD class. Enter chaos, not knowing what was wrong and

yadda yadda. When my ds went to homebound with a tutor, it turned out

to be the best thing for him. It's nice to know we lived to tell the

tale! lol.

Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

Re: ( ) great....

Remember, he is not a mature 13 year old, he is an immature 13 year

old. So, it isn't as if he has 5 years more of social development.

He

probably has another 10 years of maturing ahead. These kids often get

a lot better as they get older, but many not until their early 20's.

Didn't someone quote the 2/3's rule. 2/3's of 13, and that is where

he is at emotionally. The noises, the silliness. Not a mature 13,

but

yes an immature 13. So, as long as he " grows up " some day and

the

noises and silliness stop and he can " fake it " enough to get by as an

adult, it will all be OK....

( ) great....

Well, my son, Ian, 13, after having him home doing a virtual school for

6th and 7th grade, decided to " go back to school " for this year, 8th.

We found a small parochial school with just 48 kids from K-12.

They said they were willing to work with us, learn about Ian, AS, ADHD,

OCD, and Tourttes.

Ian even joined the small soccer team.

It's been hard, but we're making it, academically. With no IEP and no

legal means of enforcing things, we meet and chat by email and, like I

said, they seem like they are on board.

Well,,,,,,,lately Ian is getting points taken.... " demerits " ....but

" bugging " people, making noises, him and another boy talk and act

goofy,,,,,,, ,,,,,and to top it off, if Ian is " called " on something

and believes it's wrong, he argues. So,,,being a Baptist school, this

is considered " disrespect " .

He makes noises from time-to-time, Tourettes. But,,,,,,,,with him

getting more " at ease " , I think, with the kids and school, he is also

getting goofy. So,,,,,,if he knows that his noises, in his eyes, are

funny, he makes the noise. The 2 gals in his class say, " knock it

off "

or whatever. So,,,,Ian does it again.

They now, are saying, " You're so20retarded " .....or other not nice or

acceptable things.

They do this quietly or when the teacher is out of the room for a

second.

This makes him more mad, so he makes more noises to tick them off.

Here's the circle, ya know?

So,,,then, because he doesn't have the " social " ability to hide his

" naughtiness " ,,,,,he gets in trouble.

Now,,,I honestly think he SHOULD get caught for trying to bug

people,,,,,but I also think the other kids should too.

SO,,,,here's the old stuff coming back to haunt.

I'm not calling or showing up for my 5 or 8 year old......he' s now 13.

At what point do I keep sticking up for him? That sounded bad. I

will

always defend him.

I'm going in, in the morn., b/c no one should be called names.

I guess I'm just sad cause I see it all happening again. Him getting

sad,,,,then made.....

cause knows no one wants to be with him.

He's begging to come back home for school again. Saying that he just

doesnt' fit.

It's crushing me.

I remember how wonderful he felt and how much he socially changed when

we brought him home for school. It was a fricken miricle.

BUt,,,,now I see him 5 yrs from being an adult....and I'm panicking...

.....wanting him to learn about the real world. Wanting him to learn

that he has to just take some things...... .wanting h

im to see that if

he would just stop the intentional noise-making, it may take a while,

but they would move on and accept his UNINTENTIONAL noises.

I hate this.