Help? Grades/Anger/Fustration and Depression

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Lorraine.

It means a lot.

Robin

From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Help? Grades/Anger/ Fustration and Depression Date: Friday, 9 October, 2009, 12:46 AM

I guess I was too confident... I really thought we would have a good year...but things are falling apart...My son was written up today for not following directions in band. He plays the drums...and when he is not playing ...he sits. I guess the band leader told him to stand...but he keeps sitting. My son said he told him his knees hurt (he has jumper's knees). So he told my son to go to the principal. He said my son was defiant. Now my son is Angry and didn't go to his practice and says he is going to mess up when they play at the pep rally tomorrow. I tried to talk to him but he won't listen. He also told me that the Spec.Ed. teacher keeps yelling at him for things he isn't doing ...like making noises ...so now he hates her too. NO wonder he comes home so moody.This teacher also told me his attitude is changing.... it is getting negative. I don't know if the work is too much for him and he just shuts down or what. I have

a sneaky feeling we will be having a conference soon.I just cried today...I want to throw in the towel. My son is cocky with me and gets so angry.help me...depressed__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

You have to do what it takes...even if it means writing it for them...I agree 100%.

Jan

From: <@...> Sent: Tue, October 13, 2009 5:55:39 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Help? Grades/Anger/Fustration and Depression

Regarding the OCD and school -- I hate to suggest this but it's what I had to do for my son when OCD was affecting his being able to do work for school (read, write...) -- I wrote his work for him, even his math. He dictated, told me answers, etc. I know we recently had some posts (you & me) discussing OCD, but can't recall -- is he on medication for it??Sorry the private school isn't being supportive!>> Isn't it crazy?> I'm so done....I feel like bawling.> Ian's been dealing with OCD lately. Bad. Rituals..... ..thoughts. .....ugh.

[Guest guest]

Robin,

My heart is crying for you....and Ian.....

I think you are doing the right thing...pulling him out. The Catholic school doesn't have to offer any special accommodations...and I know for a fact that the Catholic schools here do not have the technology that public schools have.

What about homeschooling him again? Is it possible or does he want to be in school with other children? If that is the case then I would go to your middle school and speak with guidance and the principal. Get things rolling....have him retested so they know what level he is at and what supports he may need. It is so sad when they (teachers) can help our children ...such as checking to make sure he wrote his homework down or has his books, etc. I have fought that battle for a long time. We have in our son's IEP that we have a set of books at home....this way he can't say he forgot them. This year we were not making him write in planner the homework...he was doing really well....but he messed up a little on a science report ....due date and I never really knew when his tests were. So, my son came home with a 68 on a history test. Now, in our IEP we put, if his tests are below a

70, he can retake. I am going in Friday afternoon for an IEP revision. It seems our district was sued for not following the IEP....so the teachers and administrators are all panicing....I want to add a few things....such as "reports" to be broken down into smaller units and that he gets assistance with this especially with directions and writing. I would also like it is homework or reports can be modified if necessary...especailly written reports. He now has to fill out his planner....the Sped teacher says she thinks this would be better since he goofed up on getting his report in. She was to sign the planner every day....and I was too....well guess what...she signed it the first day and has not done it since.

So I know what you are going thru....I am here for you...so keep venting and posting ...it helps...

As far as the OCD....you might want to bring him to a therapist before it gets worse. OCD can be very crippling....I have it to a degree. But he can work on it....I use to keep checking before I left the house...it was getting worse...I would lock up and then say to myself...did I check the stove, did I check the coffeemaker....and back in I would go. But I have worked on this and now am able to leave after one check...but it takes a while. There are workbooks out there on it that you could do with him. And, I take Zoloft which helps. And, the other thing is that you could do the writing for him ....or you could write out the problems...and then he would just have to put in the answers.

My son is the complete opposite...he writes sloppy and just wants to get it done...his 9's use to look like 4's. And, if I were a teacher....I would have made him practice writing and doing multiplication tables....they don't do that anymore.

Jan

Hang in there ....and you can cry on my shoulder any time...I know....I am here for ya!

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> Sent: Mon, October 12, 2009 9:51:25 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Help? Grades/Anger/Fustration and Depression

Isn't it crazy?

I'm so done....I feel like bawling.

Ian's been dealing with OCD lately. Bad. Rituals..... ..thoughts. .....ugh.

Anyway,,,,,, ,his smalll parochial school, with his class having only 8 kids kids in it, can't seem to write his fricken homework down at the end of each class or the end of the day.

We've talked about how he will not remember his work.......he HAS to have it written down. That they need to ensure that he has it with him.

Again, today,,,,,,, ,,after my son, who actually is on the soccer team (first time for ANY team), sits in school all day long, then goes to practice or a game every night, comes home at 6 pm and has to do homework.... ....well, ,,,,,,should I say "I" have to do homework? he he.

But,,,,,,,,, half the time, he has his books in his backpack and nothing noted as to what to do.

He responds with, "I don't remember what I'm supposed to do"......

I have sent note after note and talked with them about how he needs it written down.....they either ignore my notes or agree that "we have to work on this....but we'll keep at it".......

I'm so done.

I'm so sick of this.

I thought a smaller school was gonna help.

He cannot keep up with the work. We spend hours each night.

He brought grades home for English and Soc Studies tonight..... ..He's got an F in English and a C- in Soc Studies.

Here's the kicker. He's never brought home work for either.

Never brought a book home to study for a test. Nothing.

I'm going in tomorrow and I think I'm gonna have an attack of some sorts.

WHen he was home for school, we had bad days where getting work done was bad,,,but we plugged along and did something else. I think the stress of everything.. ........just the work load? I think it's too much.

They say making his assignments shorter, (like doing every other math prob instead of every one), isn't an option.

Darnit...... ..I wanted this to work so badly. I have to contact our public Middle School too, to set up an appointment. ......... to see if they could offer, perhaps, a self-contained classroom or whatever.

This is just not working.

I'm pretty darned sad.

I'm listening to him right now. I try to give him a half and hour or so to do what he can......,,, ,,,,,,and his OCD is making him erase and erase and re-write and etc,,,,,every darned problem. He's asking why he has this and if it's ever gonna get better. Poor guy......... I feel the tears coming.

I just want him to be happy again. Darnit.....sorry I wrote a book. I'm emotionally tired and soooooo confused.... and yet I think I know exactly what he needs. Ugh.

Soooo.....does anyone know the "rules" on pulling your kid out of a private school? I pulled him before, but it was at the end of the year and we had a plan in place.

Thanks for your listening "ears" and any advice.

Gonna take a deep breath now and try to help him though his work.

From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Help? Grades/Anger/ Fustration and Depression Date: Friday, 9 October, 2009, 12:46 AM

I guess I was too confident... I really thought we would have a good year...but things are falling apart...My son was written up today for not following directions in band. He plays the drums...and when he is not playing ...he sits. I guess the band leader told him to stand...but he keeps sitting. My son said he told him his knees hurt (he has jumper's knees). So he told my son to go to the principal. He said my son was defiant. Now my son is Angry and didn't go to his practice and says he is going to mess up when they play at the pep rally tomorrow. I tried to talk to him but he won't listen. He also told me that the Spec.Ed. teacher keeps yelling at him for things he isn't doing ...like making noises ...so now he hates her too. NO wonder he comes home so moody.This teacher also told me his attitude is changing.... it is getting negative. I don't know if the work is too much for him and he just shuts down or what. I have

a sneaky feeling we will be having a conference soon.I just cried today...I want to throw in the towel. My son is cocky with me and gets so angry.help me...depressed

[Guest guest]

Thanks so much, Jan, and all of you have added and chatted with me about Ian's school issues.I've enrolled him in our local pub school and he'll start on the 2nd of Nov.

I will tell his parochial school Monday.

Don't know yet, if I can pull him out and give him 2 weeks to "decompress" before he starts.

I've got to look into the legalities.

Gonna make this short, but I met with the sped teacher for 8th grade and not only will there be academic provisions....thank God, but there will be a sped teacher in every class. Thank God again.

As far as homeschooling,,,,,,I know it worked for us before,,,,so if this doesnt' work, we'll just go back to it.

Thanks again, everyone.

Robin

From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Help? Grades/Anger/ Fustration and Depression Date: Friday, 9 October, 2009, 12:46 AM

I guess I was too confident... I really thought we would have a good year...but things are falling apart...My son was written up today for not following directions in band. He plays the drums...and when he is not playing ...he sits. I guess the band leader told him to stand...but he keeps sitting. My son said he told him his knees hurt (he has jumper's knees). So he told my son to go to the principal. He said my son was defiant. Now my son is Angry and didn't go to his practice and says he is going to mess up when they play at the pep rally tomorrow. I tried to talk to him but he won't listen. He also told me that the Spec.Ed. teacher keeps yelling at him for things he isn't doing ...like making noises ...so now he hates her too. NO wonder he comes home so moody.This teacher also told me his attitude is changing.... it is getting negative. I don't know if the work is too much for him and he just shuts down or what. I have

a sneaky feeling we will be having a conference soon.I just cried today...I want to throw in the towel. My son is cocky with me and gets so angry.help me...depressed

[Guest guest]

A Special Ed teacher in every class sounds hopeful. Keep us posted, Robin!

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> Sent: Saturday, October 17, 2009 8:45:22 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Help? Grades/Anger/Fustration and Depression

Thanks so much, Jan, and all of you have added and chatted with me about Ian's school issues.I've enrolled him in our local pub school and he'll start on the 2nd of Nov.

I will tell his parochial school Monday.

Don't know yet, if I can pull him out and give him 2 weeks to "decompress" before he starts.

I've got to look into the legalities.

Gonna make this short, but I met with the sped teacher for 8th grade and not only will there be academic provisions.. ..thank God, but there will be a sped teacher in every class. Thank God again.

As far as homeschooling, ,,,,,I know it worked for us before,,,,so if this doesnt' work, we'll just go back to it.

Thanks again, everyone.

Robin

From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Help? Grades/Anger/ Fustration and Depression Date: Friday, 9 October, 2009, 12:46 AM

I guess I was too confident... I really thought we would have a good year...but things are falling apart...My son was written up today for not following directions in band. He plays the drums...and when he is not playing ...he sits. I guess the band leader told him to stand...but he keeps sitting. My son said he told him his knees hurt (he has jumper's knees). So he told my son to go to the principal. He said my son was defiant. Now my son is Angry and didn't go to his practice and says he is going to mess up when they play at the pep rally tomorrow. I tried to talk to him but he won't listen. He also told me that the Spec.Ed. teacher keeps yelling at him for things he isn't doing ...like making noises ...so now he hates her too. NO wonder he comes home so moody.This teacher also told me his attitude is changing.... it is getting negative. I don't know if the work is too much for him and he just shuts down or what. I have

a sneaky feeling we will be having a conference soon.I just cried today...I want to throw in the towel. My son is cocky with me and gets so angry.help me...depressed

[Guest guest]

Yeah, , it does sound hopeful. The 8th grade sped teacher said that he'll be in all the reg classes but she or another gal would always be in there, too.

Sigh.........

Sounds good.

But,,,,,,gonna keep my guard up, due to the realities of life, right?

Thanks again.

Robin

From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Help? Grades/Anger/ Fustration and Depression Date: Friday, 9 October, 2009, 12:46 AM

I guess I was too confident... I really thought we would have a good year...but things are falling apart...My son was written up today for not following directions in band. He plays the drums...and when he is not playing ...he sits. I guess the band leader told him to stand...but he keeps sitting. My son said he told him his knees hurt (he has jumper's knees). So he told my son to go to the principal. He said my son was defiant. Now my son is Angry and didn't go to his practice and says he is going to mess up when they play at the pep rally tomorrow. I tried to talk to him but he won't listen. He also told me that the Spec.Ed. teacher keeps yelling at him for things he isn't doing ...like making noises ...so now he hates her too. NO wonder he comes home so moody.This teacher also told me his attitude is changing.... it is getting negative. I don't know if the work is too much for him and he just shuts down or what. I have

a sneaky feeling we will be having a conference soon.I just cried today...I want to throw in the towel. My son is cocky with me and gets so angry.help me...depressed

[Guest guest]

Robin,

Good for you. My son is in 8th grade too and has a Special Ed. teacher in each class. Will you have an IEP in place?? I wonder if they really modify my son's work. My son does have a super case manager....and that is the most important thing.

I will keep you in my prayers.

Jan

om: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> Sent: Sat, October 17, 2009 9:45:22 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Help? Grades/Anger/Fustration and Depression

Thanks so much, Jan, and all of you have added and chatted with me about Ian's school issues.I've enrolled him in our local pub school and he'll start on the 2nd of Nov.

I will tell his parochial school Monday.

Don't know yet, if I can pull him out and give him 2 weeks to "decompress" before he starts.

I've got to look into the legalities.

Gonna make this short, but I met with the sped teacher for 8th grade and not only will there be academic provisions.. ..thank God, but there will be a sped teacher in every class. Thank God again.

As far as homeschooling, ,,,,,I know it worked for us before,,,,so if this doesnt' work, we'll just go back to it.

Thanks again, everyone.

Robin

From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Help? Grades/Anger/ Fustration and Depression Date: Friday, 9 October, 2009, 12:46 AM

I guess I was too confident... I really thought we would have a good year...but things are falling apart...My son was written up today for not following directions in band. He plays the drums...and when he is not playing ...he sits. I guess the band leader told him to stand...but he keeps sitting. My son said he told him his knees hurt (he has jumper's knees). So he told my son to go to the principal. He said my son was defiant. Now my son is Angry and didn't go to his practice and says he is going to mess up when they play at the pep rally tomorrow. I tried to talk to him but he won't listen. He also told me that the Spec.Ed. teacher keeps yelling at him for things he isn't doing ...like making noises ...so now he hates her too. NO wonder he comes home so moody.This teacher also told me his attitude is changing.... it is getting negative. I don't know if the work is too much for him and he just shuts down or what. I have

a sneaky feeling we will be having a conference soon.I just cried today...I want to throw in the towel. My son is cocky with me and gets so angry.help me...depressed

[Guest guest]

Thanks Jan.

Yep, he will have an IEP in place. I think we're going to go off of his last one, which was done by the virtual school.....so there wasn't much in place.

And his last "real' one, was done for 5th grade.

We meet Tuesday to get one going.

I've got such knots in my gut. I soooo want this to work. I'm not naive enough anymore to think that all will "be" as they say. But, I'm encouraged that there will be help and modifications.

I was just getting on line to type up my "words" to say to the school we're pulling him from and my son tells me that he doesn't want to be off for a week or 2 before the "move", because he "can't let his soccer team down".

I'm in awe.

He's the tiniest, youngest, and........worst on the team. Poor guy.

Tries his hardest and yet,,,,,,,,sits on the bench rolled in a ball in his coat to keep warm,,or runs around on the field TRYING to keep up while his tiny little legs are in 2 pair of sweats........(the others are in shorts)...he he.

I've heard little comments by the mean other shits..........while they practice before the game.............little comments just to get him riled. I honestly wanted to hand the letter I'm going to write,,,,,,,,,,right to the teacher/principal, tell him thanks for their attempt with us, but that it wasn't working and I was pulling him out.

I was going to have Ian grab his stuff from his area and were going to walk out.

I wanted him to have some time to "calm down" and prepare for the new place.

BUT.....there goes my son.............showing more maturity than me.

I'm very proud but am stuck.

I still want to tell the school that he's out, (now after the 31 - the last soccer game is that day).........but yet hope they are good to him for the next 2 weeks.

I hope that them, being a parochial school, will do their part.

Thanks for the prayers.

Robin

From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Help? Grades/Anger/ Fustration and Depression Date: Friday, 9 October, 2009, 12:46 AM

I guess I was too confident... I really thought we would have a good year...but things are falling apart...My son was written up today for not following directions in band. He plays the drums...and when he is not playing ...he sits. I guess the band leader told him to stand...but he keeps sitting. My son said he told him his knees hurt (he has jumper's knees). So he told my son to go to the principal. He said my son was defiant. Now my son is Angry and didn't go to his practice and says he is going to mess up when they play at the pep rally tomorrow. I tried to talk to him but he won't listen. He also told me that the Spec.Ed. teacher keeps yelling at him for things he isn't doing ...like making noises ...so now he hates her too. NO wonder he comes home so moody.This teacher also told me his attitude is changing.... it is getting negative. I don't know if the work is too much for him and he just shuts down or what. I have

a sneaky feeling we will be having a conference soon.I just cried today...I want to throw in the towel. My son is cocky with me and gets so angry.help me...depressed__________________________________________________